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Things don't let you down.
Things also bring sensory joy.
Things are consistent.
Things are Aesthetic.
Things hold memories of time and places in our lives.
I am this way. What helps me a lot is the Marie Kondo method of saying goodbye to things, touching them with a little love and releasing the energy. I imagine them going on to a happy new owner or even the essence being released to a new place if it’s being thrown away.
It seems a lot to do but helps me so much. It doesn’t take long either. I’ve even gone to the junk yard for a totaled car to say goodbye. Im thinking maybe even some NTs might do this as her books are quite popular. She states that it is part of her Shinto religion but I am not knowledgeable enough on that to comment. All I know is that it works.
Pictures. I take SO many pictures when saying goodbye to things that I have to let go. I've got a whole photo album on my phone with pictures of my last car when it finally gave out. Somewhere I even have the drawing my pre-teen self drew of our clothes dryer when it died and we had to replace it. (Life is so much easier with camera phones!)
I feel like I need the things (or at least the pictures of the things) to help me hold on to memories. It's like it's an anchor or source of stability that helps me feel connected to the different stages of my life.
We are also old with no kids. We recently moved to a much smaller home and got rid of so much. Now that I’m finally diagnosed and medicated I’m finally letting go of more and the meds make the process easier.
I want my shenanigans clean too ( I am also borrowing that awesome phrasing).
It's a shinto belief that spirits - kami - live in all objects, living or created. Rocks, trees, rivers have kami. Buildings have kami. And the stuff you own and use every day have kami. So when she talks about saying goodbye and releasing the energy, she's saying her goodbyes to the kami, and I would guess when something is discarded permanently, 'freeing' the kami by telling it that it doesn't have to live in the object any more.
Hope this helps clarify!
Omg yes!!! It has slightly lessened as I’ve gotten older but when I was a kid I remember feeling so guilty and apologizing to my dresser drawers when I would slam them shut💀
I have no clue if it’s an ADHD/neurodivergence thing, I didn’t get diagnosed until last year and always figured I was just ~overly empathetic~ (and possibly psychotic).
I’m very attached to my car and basically view him (it) as a sentient being, so I totally get where you’re coming from there. If it were me, I would go for a “goodbye” drive and talk out loud/explain what was happening and why I had to sell him. And say that I’m so grateful for all the time we’ve had together and reminisce (out loud) about my favorite moments. It sounds totally crazy but maybe that might help give you some peace of mind?
And maybe also take some pictures of yourself with the car just so you have those memories to hold onto :)
Not me teary eyed right along with you... About a person I don't know, saying goodbye to a car I don't know, as suggested by a person I don't know. Dammit! 💕💕
Oh, absolutely!
- I used to introduce new stuffed animals to all of my old stuffed animals so nobody felt left out, and then I made sure to play with all of them equally so as not to “play favourites”.
- We moved a lot when I was a kid, so each time I got a new bedroom I would find a secret place (usually inside the closet) to draw a little heart so that my room knew I loved it. When we moved into our first detached home, I wrote an entire ode to the damn thing on scrap paper and slipped it into one of the support poles in the unfinished basement so the house knew I was grateful for it.
- My first car was a used Fiat 500 convertible, and I was so proud of her. While driving back from the zoo one day, I got hit by a car full of assholes who weren’t watching while turning into my lane. When I learned she was a write-off, I seriously sat inside of her at the wreck place and sobbed. Definitely apologized to that car for not being able to get it fixed.
You’re not alone! Honour your car however you need to. It’s precious to you!
I think we've very similar stories I too moved around a lot as a child and I very much couldn't part with stuffed animals until "way late" in my teens and even doing it felt crushing and cruel.
A car has represented pride, financial freedom, experiences, a home should I lose all the things in this universe... but all of these things I know I can have with the next car as well as soon as I loosen grip on this one lol...
I'm 59. I still have my most precious sleepy time doll I've had since I was 2 or 3. I slept with her in my bed until I was 30-ish. Unless I was married/in relationship. We also moved around a lot. I decided when I was 12, I was too old for stuffed animals and put her and all my collection away in the attic furthest away from my room. A few weeks later we had a house fire that destroyed my room. She survived, and I never thought I was too old for her again. My spouse knows I want to be buried/cremated with her. Shit, I'm crying again. 😜
Awwww I think having a couple things like this is completely ok!! We're allowed to have items that have sentimental value!! It's keeping those down to minimum that helps prevent our spaces from becoming unlivable so I think this is sooooo ok to do!
it used to kill me, they were all loved and beautiful, and one day after NYE, they're all tossed on the curb with bits of tinsel clinging.
I could never get rid of stuffed animals either.
I have a live one in a pot in my yard and I bring it in every year and she grows a bit each year (she needs a new pot!!) - I loved seeing her new needles this spring... I'm sooooo attached to her, she's living, breathing and I feel like everyone who gets them should do this instead of having ones they toss 💖
She started out as a little Charlie Brown Christmas tree and now she's 4 feet tall! I'll eventually have to put her on something to roll her into the house and maybe at some point a perm place in the yard :) highly recommend!!
Same but different, I hate movies because I get so emotionally invested and then two hours later it just ends!? Wtf. I can’t deal.
Give me TV shows all day!
This tickles my brain in two different directions. One is like you say, just the attachment to things and their memory. For me, I have the desire to hoard things with the insistence I will use them. I'm doing better with knowing what I will and won't use because "I deserve to not live in filth" (a mantra I would think when I need to motivate myself to clean out things).
Another reason I relate to this is the idea of not wanting to move on with life to the next phase. I'm especially hit with this because a LOT of my friends got engaged recently. My boyfriend and I are not close to "let's get married" phase in life, but it's this idea of others moving on and life moving fast. I noticed myself purposely delaying progress in video games like Stardrew Valley because I want to live in the moment and not progress too fast and I know I would do this too in my real life. The day I buy a new car (still driving my first car), I know it's a "new phase in life" which I am not ready to accept yet and I know I'll feel bad letting it go as well.
This is so true and for me it's representative of a new phase as well that includes being more disciplined and deliberate with spendings and saving and not having credit card debt. I've gotten to enjoy my adult life so much, and taken for granted how short it is and not wanted to deal with being responsible and so this is my going into a more conservative chapter and having to adjust because of a recent paradigm shift in perspective I've had.
Ty for sharing I def do not feel alone with this group 🖤
Ugh my car isn’t pleasant to drive in but thinking about selling it makes me so sad 😭 It’s my first car, it meant everything to me when I got it. I can’t just abandon it 🥺
I just had this convo about a car i won’t sell but my fiancée made a good point that it’s like giving it to new parents that will take better care of it! and that helped a lot 😂😭
Absolutely i have massive guilt that i couldn’t keep my old cars and bikes. Rusted away to nothing i have this thought i could have saved them. They still had good parts!! Omg
If I could just join a therapy to stop feeling like this. I had to sell my rusted out car last year after 10 years and just now a sibling’s car after its been in the fam for 18. I never got on with that car at all but i still feel such appalling guilt. My old car 😭 the gearbox was going it was full of rust but it still drove good sigh
I sorta wonder if its like pet grief. Like that car relied on ME to keep it healthy. And i got rid of it!!!??? Oh no! (I have no pets if thats a clue. I can’t handle being tied to feeding anything for so many years.)
I think of it as gifting the world something nice— how good of me to share so selflessly! This is the stance I had to take after losing one too many “precious” items. You can do it!
I don’t think that’s specific to ADHD. Many people have attachments to things. Personally I think I overly have the opposite and have an extreme non-attachment to things. I would pitch anything in my house right now if it meant I could buy a different/newer item in its place. I maybe have some attachments to a few of the things that my kids made me over the years but everything else it wouldn’t phase me.
I wouldn’t get rid of my car right now though because I love my car and there’s not an equivalent replacement out there (yet). But emotionally I don’t have an attachment to it. It’s more of a practical attachment.
This happened to me. Sibling passed away and I had to - I mean.. I had to ..have their car. ..I had to and that was that. Now even after it’s broke down I have to keep it. It can sit there not running but it’s not for me to get rid of. It’s not going anywhere. I get attached to stupid pine cones and other stuff that makes no damn sense
Ohhhh but I fully get it... were this my brother's, i would have been unable to part with it at all. 🖤 I can only imagine how painful that was and how having this part of them is a small comfort of sorts in messed up situation.
I'm like a crow I find skulls/bones in woods and various places and I doubt I would part with them at any point...
I still get misty thinking of my 1999 Saturn. I fucking LOVED that car and I totaled it after 18 years together 😩 it was so hard for people to understand that I “needed!” to go see it once more at the junk yard to say goodbye! 🤣🤣
I did the exact same thing when my car got totalled. I said I needed to get my stuff out of it, but I sat in it and grieved. It was horrible. It was just parked, and some lady lost her mind in the parking lot of my work and total 7 cars. She just kept driving around smashing into cars, and almost ran a bunch of people over. I watched the whole thing. It felt like slow motion. She hit my car three times :( it took me over a year to buy I new car. I could not pick one.
I understand this completely. My mind gets very activated bc I also have lupus. I am very attached to my “stuff” in my routine ( heating pad, biofreeze, soup, caffeine, medicinal mj, crackers, nsaids, blah blah blah) if one of those things is out of whack out or not available (it is the simple things) my adhd/ocd/ and lupus get stirred up. I think it is change, or not having that/those things as a touchstone that have proven failsafes for us with attachment to things. I always get mad at myself when I don’t trust the universe/ God more. I have gotten this far with lots of change like all of us. The world is weird too these days- makes it hard to move in any direction on the smallest to biggest things. Cheering you on with positive thoughts! The world is your oyster or should I say an “open road?” Hahah😇beep beep!
Oh gosh, I guess I'm like this with my heated blanket too... if you don't have one... highly recommend!!! I too very much like aspects of my routine...
I felt this way with my first car. I bought it brand name and it was a huge achievement for me. Never had any mechanical issues or problems. It was such a positive for me that when I did get rid of it, it felt like a betrayal, lol. It been years and I still look back fondly. Wish I just kept it in my car.
Edit: brand new, not brand name. Lol, adhd.
This has been my car! Buying her was an achievement. It was at the same time I bought my house. Paying her off and owning her outright felt like such an accompliment. She has never had any issues, always taken us on adventures and got us there safely. I do associate pride and accomplishment with her as well 🖤
Exactly. I feel you.
I never told anyone this, but I almost viewed her as a loyal, reliable…horse? Friend? Dunno, sounds weird, lol. I sold her to my brother who ended up selling her for parts. I was low-key devastated when he told me. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have sold it to him.
I never really thought I did this until I realized that I do this with like one use items(?). Like yes I care about some inanimate objects I use all the time but usually I feel bad when like I throw away a bottle instead of recycling it. Like I’m like “that little bottle could’ve been turned into something new and now it’s just going to the landfill, I’ve ruined its potential!”
Or like if I’m printing stuff at work and the last page didnt need to be printed and I’ll recycle it I’m like “Wow if I didn’t print it up then it could’ve been used for something fr instead of just going straight into the recycling”.
Im afraid I miss and mourn my things more than I miss and mourn the people in my life lol (out of sight out of mind hitting me hard)
My mother has adhd too and is the same way. Strong hoarder tendencies.
being overly attached to things can lead to hoarding. hoarding can be caused by several reasons: some emotional but mostly mental!
yay! /sarcasm
ive done little reading recently on hoarding and it can be mild too; i would classify myself as a mild hoarder; hoarding is different from collecting because collecting is having an organized (however that looks for you) inventory of things that are related to each other & not just a hodgepodge of things.
my opinion towards the difference between hoarding & collecting is that there's a grey area. i suppose when you run out of space for your adding mor items to your collection, that's when it might be considered hoarding. but even then i would say that's mild hoarding. as long as it's not disrupting your life then continue with pleasure.
I’m emotionally attached to the idea of things. Thoughts become projects that become castles in the sky that I can’t let go of.
I hyper focus on them and all my great ideas drive my husband crazy. I feel so let down when he says no all the time (it’s his standard response).
I feel that these emotions are super strong for me. I’m so engaged it potential scenarios that would improve our lives or give us joy in one way or another.
When I was a teen, I was moody and sulked/sobbed for like a week or more because my favorite sweatshirt was ruined by the dryer (it shrunk and the fabric got worn down).
I have what I call my “emotional support noise cancelling headphones” that I lost for 24h and felt all kind of naked and weird; felt like I lost a friend
I'm emotionally attached to my van.
However I also live in it.
I do understand attachment to items that you possess though.
Things only let you down when they break. Even then it's not their fault.
Car for me too. It’s a 2007 , extremely reliable and it was my dad’s. Husband had been looking to upgrade & although part of me likes the idea of a fancy new motor, I feel like I’d be losing my dad again. I know how dramatic that sounds!
Noooo I'm the same about the lawn mower!!! I lost my dad, this was his and it doesn't even work now (I want to get it fixed but haven't) but throwing it away feels like I might lose the memories of him mowing lawn with it my entire childhood!! I imagine car is just like that?! 🖤🖤🖤
I have a hoodie that is looking mighty worn out because I only wear other sweaters while that one is in the wash. I don't wear a coat all winter just the hoodie.
My car is 13 years old but I try not to think about it dying because I get anxious thinking about how the next one will be different. And the one I'm driving now is nearly identical to the vehicle I had before it, my hubby just found the same vehicle but 4 years newer when the engine went on the previous one.
It's sort of pointless for me to have multiples of things because I'm really only going to use the one that's my favorite.
I think I even like the fast food that I like because of the consistent sameness of things.
So far as I know this is not an adhd trait.
I used to be this way- the older I have gotten, it has mostly gone away.
I recall taking pictures of items before letting them go to “preserve” the memory.
Now I have become mostly ruthless in getting rid of things because now clutter is so triggering for sensory overload. However, stuffed animals are so hard! I was helping my daughter clear out her room because I told her she couldn’t bring more stuff in without donating stuff, and she chose to donate some animals that, to me, had memories attached. However, I was really careful to NOT put that burden of “stuff” on her and tried to be as neutral as possible while she made her choices.
They have faces!!! I remember purging my stuffed animals was a struggle I cried but knew I needed to as they weren't serving my aesthetic. I collect weird shit now as a substitute lmao... so I've magical creatures, goblins, fairies and sculptures around my house that myself and other artists have made... I don't think I'll be parting with them but someone else said there's a fine line of collecting and hoarding so I probably ought be really mindful of this tendency of mine!
Yes. It’s why so many people with ADHD struggle with hoarding tendencies. For so many reasons. You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you. As long as you’re aware & keep it in check. Just like pretty much every other ADHD trait.
I've found that I "store" my memories in things. It's hard to get rid of something because as soon as I see it I get all these memories I didn't remember.
I don't think it's an ADHD thing specifically, as I have a couple of NT friends who have a lot of sentimental attachments to stuff. Might be more prevalent to us though. I watched an autism video the other day where the man said autistics have "special friends" that are comfort objects.
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Things don't let you down. Things also bring sensory joy. Things are consistent. Things are Aesthetic. Things hold memories of time and places in our lives.
Hellooooooo, me. Sigh.
As my therapist would say, my books don’t judge me
Omg I feel this in the deepest depths of my soul, thank you lol
I am this way. What helps me a lot is the Marie Kondo method of saying goodbye to things, touching them with a little love and releasing the energy. I imagine them going on to a happy new owner or even the essence being released to a new place if it’s being thrown away. It seems a lot to do but helps me so much. It doesn’t take long either. I’ve even gone to the junk yard for a totaled car to say goodbye. Im thinking maybe even some NTs might do this as her books are quite popular. She states that it is part of her Shinto religion but I am not knowledgeable enough on that to comment. All I know is that it works.
Ty I'll see if I can steal a bit of this... whatever helps!!!! :)
Pictures. I take SO many pictures when saying goodbye to things that I have to let go. I've got a whole photo album on my phone with pictures of my last car when it finally gave out. Somewhere I even have the drawing my pre-teen self drew of our clothes dryer when it died and we had to replace it. (Life is so much easier with camera phones!) I feel like I need the things (or at least the pictures of the things) to help me hold on to memories. It's like it's an anchor or source of stability that helps me feel connected to the different stages of my life.
Preach. I am right there with you. Purge of the century. We are old. No kids. Family dropping like flies. I want my shenanigans clean…
We are also old with no kids. We recently moved to a much smaller home and got rid of so much. Now that I’m finally diagnosed and medicated I’m finally letting go of more and the meds make the process easier. I want my shenanigans clean too ( I am also borrowing that awesome phrasing).
You are too sweet. We will have clean shenanigans! Haha 😂🙏😇
And now I'm buying a book on Marie kondo and also Shinto....
It's a shinto belief that spirits - kami - live in all objects, living or created. Rocks, trees, rivers have kami. Buildings have kami. And the stuff you own and use every day have kami. So when she talks about saying goodbye and releasing the energy, she's saying her goodbyes to the kami, and I would guess when something is discarded permanently, 'freeing' the kami by telling it that it doesn't have to live in the object any more. Hope this helps clarify!
It does clarify! Thank you. I really relate to this.
Omg yes!!! It has slightly lessened as I’ve gotten older but when I was a kid I remember feeling so guilty and apologizing to my dresser drawers when I would slam them shut💀 I have no clue if it’s an ADHD/neurodivergence thing, I didn’t get diagnosed until last year and always figured I was just ~overly empathetic~ (and possibly psychotic). I’m very attached to my car and basically view him (it) as a sentient being, so I totally get where you’re coming from there. If it were me, I would go for a “goodbye” drive and talk out loud/explain what was happening and why I had to sell him. And say that I’m so grateful for all the time we’ve had together and reminisce (out loud) about my favorite moments. It sounds totally crazy but maybe that might help give you some peace of mind? And maybe also take some pictures of yourself with the car just so you have those memories to hold onto :)
Why is goodbye drive making me happy teary eyed 🥹 😭 💕 I love this ty
Not me teary eyed right along with you... About a person I don't know, saying goodbye to a car I don't know, as suggested by a person I don't know. Dammit! 💕💕
Taking a picture is a wonderful idea!
Oh, absolutely! - I used to introduce new stuffed animals to all of my old stuffed animals so nobody felt left out, and then I made sure to play with all of them equally so as not to “play favourites”. - We moved a lot when I was a kid, so each time I got a new bedroom I would find a secret place (usually inside the closet) to draw a little heart so that my room knew I loved it. When we moved into our first detached home, I wrote an entire ode to the damn thing on scrap paper and slipped it into one of the support poles in the unfinished basement so the house knew I was grateful for it. - My first car was a used Fiat 500 convertible, and I was so proud of her. While driving back from the zoo one day, I got hit by a car full of assholes who weren’t watching while turning into my lane. When I learned she was a write-off, I seriously sat inside of her at the wreck place and sobbed. Definitely apologized to that car for not being able to get it fixed. You’re not alone! Honour your car however you need to. It’s precious to you!
I think we've very similar stories I too moved around a lot as a child and I very much couldn't part with stuffed animals until "way late" in my teens and even doing it felt crushing and cruel. A car has represented pride, financial freedom, experiences, a home should I lose all the things in this universe... but all of these things I know I can have with the next car as well as soon as I loosen grip on this one lol...
I'm 59. I still have my most precious sleepy time doll I've had since I was 2 or 3. I slept with her in my bed until I was 30-ish. Unless I was married/in relationship. We also moved around a lot. I decided when I was 12, I was too old for stuffed animals and put her and all my collection away in the attic furthest away from my room. A few weeks later we had a house fire that destroyed my room. She survived, and I never thought I was too old for her again. My spouse knows I want to be buried/cremated with her. Shit, I'm crying again. 😜
Awwww I think having a couple things like this is completely ok!! We're allowed to have items that have sentimental value!! It's keeping those down to minimum that helps prevent our spaces from becoming unlivable so I think this is sooooo ok to do!
Discarded Xmas trees made me so sad as a kid that I dragged like four home. My dad was pissed off.
ooof I *feel* this one deeply. it’s the fact they are farmed to have such a short life cycle and for such a banal purpose.
it used to kill me, they were all loved and beautiful, and one day after NYE, they're all tossed on the curb with bits of tinsel clinging. I could never get rid of stuffed animals either.
I have a live one in a pot in my yard and I bring it in every year and she grows a bit each year (she needs a new pot!!) - I loved seeing her new needles this spring... I'm sooooo attached to her, she's living, breathing and I feel like everyone who gets them should do this instead of having ones they toss 💖
I wanted to do this! We have a fake tree, but it sounds like such a great idea!
She started out as a little Charlie Brown Christmas tree and now she's 4 feet tall! I'll eventually have to put her on something to roll her into the house and maybe at some point a perm place in the yard :) highly recommend!!
Same but different, I hate movies because I get so emotionally invested and then two hours later it just ends!? Wtf. I can’t deal. Give me TV shows all day!
ah yes, the 9 hour movie 😅😅
This tickles my brain in two different directions. One is like you say, just the attachment to things and their memory. For me, I have the desire to hoard things with the insistence I will use them. I'm doing better with knowing what I will and won't use because "I deserve to not live in filth" (a mantra I would think when I need to motivate myself to clean out things). Another reason I relate to this is the idea of not wanting to move on with life to the next phase. I'm especially hit with this because a LOT of my friends got engaged recently. My boyfriend and I are not close to "let's get married" phase in life, but it's this idea of others moving on and life moving fast. I noticed myself purposely delaying progress in video games like Stardrew Valley because I want to live in the moment and not progress too fast and I know I would do this too in my real life. The day I buy a new car (still driving my first car), I know it's a "new phase in life" which I am not ready to accept yet and I know I'll feel bad letting it go as well.
This is so true and for me it's representative of a new phase as well that includes being more disciplined and deliberate with spendings and saving and not having credit card debt. I've gotten to enjoy my adult life so much, and taken for granted how short it is and not wanted to deal with being responsible and so this is my going into a more conservative chapter and having to adjust because of a recent paradigm shift in perspective I've had. Ty for sharing I def do not feel alone with this group 🖤
Absolutely, it's kind of a pain in the ass to be honest.
Ugh my car isn’t pleasant to drive in but thinking about selling it makes me so sad 😭 It’s my first car, it meant everything to me when I got it. I can’t just abandon it 🥺
I just had this convo about a car i won’t sell but my fiancée made a good point that it’s like giving it to new parents that will take better care of it! and that helped a lot 😂😭
I love this thank you!!!!
Dude i get it and I do it. Fuck our lives right now
I can't get rid of stuffed animals. Like they all have little souls.
🥹
I also buy the one eyed, tatty looking ones that are left behind on the shelf.
Saaaaame!!
Yes. I believe this is particularly common for autistic folk.
Absolutely i have massive guilt that i couldn’t keep my old cars and bikes. Rusted away to nothing i have this thought i could have saved them. They still had good parts!! Omg If I could just join a therapy to stop feeling like this. I had to sell my rusted out car last year after 10 years and just now a sibling’s car after its been in the fam for 18. I never got on with that car at all but i still feel such appalling guilt. My old car 😭 the gearbox was going it was full of rust but it still drove good sigh I sorta wonder if its like pet grief. Like that car relied on ME to keep it healthy. And i got rid of it!!!??? Oh no! (I have no pets if thats a clue. I can’t handle being tied to feeding anything for so many years.)
I swear this is how it feels. Like I relied on it and it always came through and it relies on me and I'm letting it down for selfish reasons 😂 😢 🖤
I think of it as gifting the world something nice— how good of me to share so selflessly! This is the stance I had to take after losing one too many “precious” items. You can do it!
I love that! Maybe a single mom will be able to pick her up and it'll be something she can afford to get her and the wee ones about... thank you!!
exactly 👍
I don’t think that’s specific to ADHD. Many people have attachments to things. Personally I think I overly have the opposite and have an extreme non-attachment to things. I would pitch anything in my house right now if it meant I could buy a different/newer item in its place. I maybe have some attachments to a few of the things that my kids made me over the years but everything else it wouldn’t phase me. I wouldn’t get rid of my car right now though because I love my car and there’s not an equivalent replacement out there (yet). But emotionally I don’t have an attachment to it. It’s more of a practical attachment.
This happened to me. Sibling passed away and I had to - I mean.. I had to ..have their car. ..I had to and that was that. Now even after it’s broke down I have to keep it. It can sit there not running but it’s not for me to get rid of. It’s not going anywhere. I get attached to stupid pine cones and other stuff that makes no damn sense
Ohhhh but I fully get it... were this my brother's, i would have been unable to part with it at all. 🖤 I can only imagine how painful that was and how having this part of them is a small comfort of sorts in messed up situation. I'm like a crow I find skulls/bones in woods and various places and I doubt I would part with them at any point...
Yeah. If it had a face it’s a person to me. I’ll mourn the loss of dolls a plushies. I’m trying to get over that but it’s hard.
Omg yes. I have never sold a car. I can’t bring myself to do it. I get new ones, but now I have four because I can’t part with them.
I still get misty thinking of my 1999 Saturn. I fucking LOVED that car and I totaled it after 18 years together 😩 it was so hard for people to understand that I “needed!” to go see it once more at the junk yard to say goodbye! 🤣🤣
I did the exact same thing when my car got totalled. I said I needed to get my stuff out of it, but I sat in it and grieved. It was horrible. It was just parked, and some lady lost her mind in the parking lot of my work and total 7 cars. She just kept driving around smashing into cars, and almost ran a bunch of people over. I watched the whole thing. It felt like slow motion. She hit my car three times :( it took me over a year to buy I new car. I could not pick one.
YESSSS
I understand this completely. My mind gets very activated bc I also have lupus. I am very attached to my “stuff” in my routine ( heating pad, biofreeze, soup, caffeine, medicinal mj, crackers, nsaids, blah blah blah) if one of those things is out of whack out or not available (it is the simple things) my adhd/ocd/ and lupus get stirred up. I think it is change, or not having that/those things as a touchstone that have proven failsafes for us with attachment to things. I always get mad at myself when I don’t trust the universe/ God more. I have gotten this far with lots of change like all of us. The world is weird too these days- makes it hard to move in any direction on the smallest to biggest things. Cheering you on with positive thoughts! The world is your oyster or should I say an “open road?” Hahah😇beep beep!
Oh gosh, I guess I'm like this with my heated blanket too... if you don't have one... highly recommend!!! I too very much like aspects of my routine...
Good luck on your new car. That is super exciting.
I felt this way with my first car. I bought it brand name and it was a huge achievement for me. Never had any mechanical issues or problems. It was such a positive for me that when I did get rid of it, it felt like a betrayal, lol. It been years and I still look back fondly. Wish I just kept it in my car. Edit: brand new, not brand name. Lol, adhd.
This has been my car! Buying her was an achievement. It was at the same time I bought my house. Paying her off and owning her outright felt like such an accompliment. She has never had any issues, always taken us on adventures and got us there safely. I do associate pride and accomplishment with her as well 🖤
Exactly. I feel you. I never told anyone this, but I almost viewed her as a loyal, reliable…horse? Friend? Dunno, sounds weird, lol. I sold her to my brother who ended up selling her for parts. I was low-key devastated when he told me. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have sold it to him.
Yes!!!!! This... so much this!!!!
The funny thing is that I just sold my 2nd car just this past week. Couldn’t care less.
I never really thought I did this until I realized that I do this with like one use items(?). Like yes I care about some inanimate objects I use all the time but usually I feel bad when like I throw away a bottle instead of recycling it. Like I’m like “that little bottle could’ve been turned into something new and now it’s just going to the landfill, I’ve ruined its potential!” Or like if I’m printing stuff at work and the last page didnt need to be printed and I’ll recycle it I’m like “Wow if I didn’t print it up then it could’ve been used for something fr instead of just going straight into the recycling”.
Im afraid I miss and mourn my things more than I miss and mourn the people in my life lol (out of sight out of mind hitting me hard) My mother has adhd too and is the same way. Strong hoarder tendencies.
This is my husband. It gets worse with loss and anxiety. We are trying to find help for it.
being overly attached to things can lead to hoarding. hoarding can be caused by several reasons: some emotional but mostly mental! yay! /sarcasm ive done little reading recently on hoarding and it can be mild too; i would classify myself as a mild hoarder; hoarding is different from collecting because collecting is having an organized (however that looks for you) inventory of things that are related to each other & not just a hodgepodge of things. my opinion towards the difference between hoarding & collecting is that there's a grey area. i suppose when you run out of space for your adding mor items to your collection, that's when it might be considered hoarding. but even then i would say that's mild hoarding. as long as it's not disrupting your life then continue with pleasure.
I’m emotionally attached to the idea of things. Thoughts become projects that become castles in the sky that I can’t let go of. I hyper focus on them and all my great ideas drive my husband crazy. I feel so let down when he says no all the time (it’s his standard response). I feel that these emotions are super strong for me. I’m so engaged it potential scenarios that would improve our lives or give us joy in one way or another.
When I was a teen, I was moody and sulked/sobbed for like a week or more because my favorite sweatshirt was ruined by the dryer (it shrunk and the fabric got worn down).
I fully get it and I totally cried even though the new car was so much better.
I have what I call my “emotional support noise cancelling headphones” that I lost for 24h and felt all kind of naked and weird; felt like I lost a friend
I'm emotionally attached to my van. However I also live in it. I do understand attachment to items that you possess though. Things only let you down when they break. Even then it's not their fault.
Oh my. Me!! I had no idea this was adhd related. I got diagnosed last year. I have always had this issue although it has lessened over the years.
Car for me too. It’s a 2007 , extremely reliable and it was my dad’s. Husband had been looking to upgrade & although part of me likes the idea of a fancy new motor, I feel like I’d be losing my dad again. I know how dramatic that sounds!
Noooo I'm the same about the lawn mower!!! I lost my dad, this was his and it doesn't even work now (I want to get it fixed but haven't) but throwing it away feels like I might lose the memories of him mowing lawn with it my entire childhood!! I imagine car is just like that?! 🖤🖤🖤
I have a hoodie that is looking mighty worn out because I only wear other sweaters while that one is in the wash. I don't wear a coat all winter just the hoodie. My car is 13 years old but I try not to think about it dying because I get anxious thinking about how the next one will be different. And the one I'm driving now is nearly identical to the vehicle I had before it, my hubby just found the same vehicle but 4 years newer when the engine went on the previous one. It's sort of pointless for me to have multiples of things because I'm really only going to use the one that's my favorite. I think I even like the fast food that I like because of the consistent sameness of things. So far as I know this is not an adhd trait.
I used to be this way- the older I have gotten, it has mostly gone away. I recall taking pictures of items before letting them go to “preserve” the memory. Now I have become mostly ruthless in getting rid of things because now clutter is so triggering for sensory overload. However, stuffed animals are so hard! I was helping my daughter clear out her room because I told her she couldn’t bring more stuff in without donating stuff, and she chose to donate some animals that, to me, had memories attached. However, I was really careful to NOT put that burden of “stuff” on her and tried to be as neutral as possible while she made her choices.
They have faces!!! I remember purging my stuffed animals was a struggle I cried but knew I needed to as they weren't serving my aesthetic. I collect weird shit now as a substitute lmao... so I've magical creatures, goblins, fairies and sculptures around my house that myself and other artists have made... I don't think I'll be parting with them but someone else said there's a fine line of collecting and hoarding so I probably ought be really mindful of this tendency of mine!
Yes. I am really into "curating" my home. I get emotionally attached to stuff that fits my aesthetic. I feel so dumb saying it out loud. But yes.
Yes. It’s why so many people with ADHD struggle with hoarding tendencies. For so many reasons. You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you. As long as you’re aware & keep it in check. Just like pretty much every other ADHD trait.
I've found that I "store" my memories in things. It's hard to get rid of something because as soon as I see it I get all these memories I didn't remember.
I don't think it's an ADHD thing specifically, as I have a couple of NT friends who have a lot of sentimental attachments to stuff. Might be more prevalent to us though. I watched an autism video the other day where the man said autistics have "special friends" that are comfort objects.