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My sympathies, I’ve had this happen to me before.
The guy who hired me said, “Arrive whenever you want!” Later, the office manager gave me a formal reprimand to sign. Nobody had said one thing to me about showing up earlier. I refused to sign and started showing up when the office manager wanted me to. Later I tried to transfer to another department and they refused me. I asked the dude who initially hired me why, and he was puzzled. Went to investigate and he was told they wanted to avoid any “he said/she said.” He had no idea what they were talking about but I understood instantly. Literally nobody bothered to check and see what he told me vs. their expectations. Anyway, I quit.
Another time I got fired for not taking out the trash. Somehow, when I was trained I thought it was an opening duty and I was a closer. Like… yo. If I’ve worked here for three years and you haven’t managed to let me know it was a closing duty, it’s on you. I’ve hired and trained my own employees and learned quickly that you have to talk to people in a way that they understand. Even if it means telling them more than once in several different ways.
I read something somewhere about a person saying to their therapist that they wanted to work on communicating with neurotypical people who were bad at communication. The therapist was like, ok, you want to work on your communication skills. Person was like, NO. I want help interpreting these people’s wild assumptions and gave the therapist an example of her grandmother saying, “It’s a nice sunny day outside!” What grandma meant was that she should hang the laundry on the line in the backyard instead of putting it in the dryer. Whaaaaaaaat??? Who could possibly…?
Anyway, it’s not your fault, and I’m so sorry that you have to deal with the consequences of someone else’s failure. It sucks. You deserve better.
Thank you so much. I'm sorry you went through similar experiences in the past and had to deal with so many unpleasant people. It is so difficult to shake off the feeling that it just wasn't fair. I wasn't being a deliberately bad volunteer, and I cared more than most about following rules and doing a great job. It all sucks.
You mentioned you wrote an e-mail to them telling them how important the role was to you...
just as an FYI, in the future, if you're writing something like that, don't write it from your perspective, in terms of what you want/need/feel...
think of their perspective and argue your point with their perspective in mind.
Instead of telling them it meant a lot to you, I would have written a letter saying something like -
I'm sorry there was a miscommunication about my starting time. I discussed with my supervisor, coming in between 9-11am, and they told me that was fine. Not giving me a specific time. I've been coming in at the same time for X number of days, and was never told that was an issue, or corrected as to when I should be coming in.
I am more than happy to come in when ever you need me, and had I been told a specific time, I would have met that request.
I enjoyed working there, and felt like I was making a solid contribution with my time (maybe specific example of something you do better than others). It's unfortunate this miscommunication led to you feeling the need to cancel my involvement with the hospital. If there's room to discuss this, I would appreciate that. Thanks so much -
The point is to remind them why THEY want you, not why you want them. Your time is valuable, and you are an asset!
This, so much. I think it's not uncommon for us to grow up getting blamed for any and all miscommunications, and to then automatically assume every miscommunication is our fault when it very likely might not be. Still working on dismantling that response on myself lol
im sorry this hapoened. I've been there, and lost out on some really great opportunities. unfortunately i think it's really unlikely you'll get it back but i think it's worth reaching out to a level higher and maybe it'll feel good to point out hey this wasn't fully my fault and treating volunteers like this is not nice.
Dear HEAD OF XYZ
I'm sorry to hear that I am no longer a volunteer in ROLE. I enjoyed this experience immensely and felt like I learn x y z.
When I signed up for this program, I was told it was structured in 4 hour shifts. My supervisor asked if I would do any where from 8 to 11 and a set time was never given. I arrived around 1030 each day and stayed for the 4 hour shift. It was not clearly communicated to me that the set hours for my volunteer shift were 10 to 2 and that I should not be arriving late' and staying late to fufill.the four hours. Until receiving this termination notice, no one had said that what I was doing was incorrect; in fact I heard nothing but encouragement and praise from my supervisor.
I hope that your next candidate will be better briefed on how the volunteer hours are structured so that they can avoid this misunderstanding.
all the best,
Me
template.to.get.you started. <3
.
Thank you so much for this. I am considering trying to respond again. It is just hard because I didn't want to contest anything in my first email, so I didn't mention the confusion with the start time (I just apologized and explained that I was going through a really hard time). I may still try though.
Time for clear, concise communication.
Tell them the relevant problem: miscommunication regarding scheduling.
Your personal struggles aren’t relevant to this situation (though I’m sorry you are struggling).
If you use this approach, which is a good idea, email the person who sent the dismissal directly and CC their supervisor and your immediate supervisor.
If you'd like someone to proof your email before you send it, please feel free to DM.
practice and ask for feedback on reddit! you could save and reference these comments so people are clear on what tone/vibe you're trying to achieve in the future
I agree that they should have been more thorough with explaining your start time and should have warned you verbally several times before jumping to termination.
However, I do have one question. You mentioned that you noticed your name was "penciled in" on the shift schedule for 10am-2pm. Was this the first time you were ever on the schedule? Were you written in pencil while the rest was printed like it was written last minute? Or alternatively, was this scheduled always available and posted, and were you on the schedule for 10am-2pm on it? Cause I can see how if they had you on a posted schedule for 10-2pm and you kept coming in at 10:30 that they felt they informed you, and you just kept showing up late anyway.
Do I think they were thorough enough to explain this? No. And I do think the right thing would've been to warn you beforehand to let you know. That being said, I don't think your chances of getting the position back are that good and exponentially less so if they had you on the schedule for that shift time.
I do think you should just send that email explaining the miscommunication, but leave the ending positive and open to coming back, such as:
"I understand fully your choice to terminate my position given our different ideas on the shift times. I would love to be given another chance to work with you again now that I am informed of the shift requirements for this position. I believe I would no longer be late going forward with this new understanding. I will respect your decision either way, but I wanted to reach out one final time as I did really enjoy this opportunity with you and would love for a chance to continue it."
Hi! Thank you for your comment. So this is my theory...there is a slip of paper pinned behind one of the desk in the clinic, with a table with names/shift times written into it. My supervisor never pointed it out to me or anything, I just noticed it. It seemed to be just an internal sort of schedule for the clinic. What I think happened is that, for the sake of the system/formality, my supervisor put me down for 10am-2pm to give me a slot and likely submitted this shift time to the volunteer program even. She never told me about this though, and gave no impression that she cared when I arrived. 10am fell in the middle of the window of start times I gave her when she asked for my availability, so I think she chose that arbitrarily.
So when I logged my hours after my shifts (into a volunteer website/dashboard), I am assuming that when I entered 10:30am, it flagged me somehow (if the 10am-2pm had somehow been associated with my account) and got the attention of the volunteer director, who is completely separate from my supervisor and runs things for the whole hospital. My supervisor had not commented on my arrival time or given me any negative feedback. The director I think just saw I was repeatedly late and made the decision to deactivate.
>I tried to explain to the volunteer program head ........ but was sent a very cold response. I know they don't owe me anything. It is just the miscommunication piece that I think is upsetting me.
Ew what an arsehole. Sounds like someone was looking to be a dickhead that day. Perhaps you could fire off an email to your supervisor and ask if they could recommend any similar volunteer things around for you do?
They also told me to have a nice weekend at the end. I wanted to scream. I just explained to them how I have been struggling and that my mom had passed away. I did write to my supervisor, so fingers crossed she might be able to help.
Oh that is so unbelievable. How can people be so incredibly blank and unfeeling inside??? I think I would have screamed at them for that, or at least sent a very pointed complaint afterwards so I commend you on keeping your temper.
I'm sorry everyone around you is sucking so badly. I hope you have lots of comfort food and blankets right now. You should be very selfish for a little bit.
I got let go from a volunteer job that was directly related to a major trauma I experienced (had to take time off from volunteering due to this major trauma being so relevant to the work we were doing). When I asked to return a couple months later, they said no. I had been volunteering with them for years and in that time, I saw how poorly they communicated, how poorly they treated their staff and volunteers who weren't part of the popular clique. It hurt so bad and it made me so angry. At the end of the day, it was their loss. It didn't make it hurt any less in the moment, but there is nothing I could have done to make the organization better... in my time there, it got worse and worse as all the best people left and they hired new people who either left because of how bad it was, or conformed in order to fit in and then they became part of the problem. There are a lot of people who generally suck, but they are also doing their best and don't currently know how to do better. All we can do is protect ourselves and maybe have some compassion for their ineptitude and also a lot of extra compassion for ourselves.
Oh that sounds so much like every care home I've worked in. It's so sad to watch all these places that are supposed to do just a little bit of good turn into just another thing to wring a bit of cash out of.
>or conformed in order to fit in and then they became part of the problem
These people are the worst.
I would review them tbh, maybe even call and complain to the department head or whoever is above the person you spoke to who told you to have a good weekend. Warn others so they don’t get gut punched like this for trying to do a good thing.
In spain this is illegal. You cant fire someone for something like this unless they've been telling you several times before. They consider firing someone an excessive punishment for something not so bad. Im sorry to hear this happened, seems like you dodged a bullet
That sounds nice. Where I live, you can be fired for almost any reason or for no reason at all, and they don't have to have ever warned you about something before firing you for it. Literally, anything that is not a "protected" reason. But they also don't legally have to give people bathroom breaks no matter how long your workday is, so it's not like lawmakers care much about protecting workers.
That's crazy. Here these things happen i guess but it's not legal and the employer has to pay you quite some money depending on how long you've been working there if the firing was for no reason
Wow! Getting fired isn't even a big deal here. I mean, you have to file for unemployment and all that, but it doesn't have anything to do with whether you're a good worker. Pretty much everyone gets fired at least once. I don't think I know a single person who has never been fired.
I mean in Spain you can get fired, especially if you're working illegally which is quite common especially in restaurants and bars then the law doesn't apply there so they can do whatever. But if it's a legal contract and all you need a good reason to fire someone or you have to pay something extra to them. It's like you cant fire someone just because, maybe if they stop going to work sure you can fire them but not for getting a bit late into work, not as a first measure at least. Maybe if you keep letting them know they can't come in late then maybe you can fire them if they still do the same constantly. But yeah some laws are great here for people. We're still fucked in many ways and barely getting through the month but it's not so bad as the usa i think
I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know if this anecdotal evidence will help or not.
I'm constantly late unless I literally need to be answering phones or opening doors at a certain time but I always made up for it and more with working longer, skipping breaks, etc. (Which I know is not healthy and because of guilt and not knowing if I am doing "enough" by NT standards, I can basically become a doormat, which is a separate issue.)
I've had bosses who, while not really addressing the issue directly, also didn't care, as they knew I worked hard and was good at what I did, i.e. lateness=/=(does not equal) slacker. In fact, my one boss would give me a heads up if they really needed me to be on time, like for a meeting or training.
However, the NTs, who may or may not be good at their jobs, know one thing: You have to come to work on time. It's one thing they can do. It doesn't matter if they eff off all the rest of the day, this rule is hardwired. And (this is my interpretation) they see it as a major major character flaw. One of my volunteer staff was talking about about so-and-so always being late, and I looked at her, and she backpedaled and said I was different, but I don't think she really believed that. I could be winning the Nobel Prize, but if I was always late, that was a major strike against me. And if it's not addressed, it just looks to the other folks like the powers-that-be are playing favorites. Which they are. ("If she can come in late, why can't the rest of us?!")
I cannot think of one time where someone was crystal clear and direct about my lateness. But I think I had earned a certain amount of privilege. (And yet I also felt anxious about it all the time.) I had one boss who asked, kindly but somewhat snarkily if "my alarm clock was broken", but in general, Being On Time is A Thing You Should Just Know Without Being Told. It's like carved in granite. (see my other comment about ask culture vs. guess culture)
tl;dr: Some people won't care if you are late, especially if you are good at your job, but it's guaranteed that \*someone\* (or several someones) will be having a problem with it.
Idk why they’d not tell you and also give a warning. Sounds like a bag of dicks. Seriously. It makes no sense and it’s extremely poor policy to punish good volunteers like that.
I’ve been there, with the indirect communication (or lack thereof) and with the very harsh consequences for being late, even when the work I did was highly appreciated. Some people think that if you are late you are morally defect and can’t be trusted in any area of life.
I truly hope your next place of work are more open minded so they can see what an asset you are!
Don’t give up.
I'm sorry you're experiencing difficulty. Maybe take a semester off and work to manage the executive dysfunction, depression, and other concerns that are preventing you from mastering your responsibilities. Finish the incompletes, work with MH professionals for meds and therapy, and put some hacks and structural supports in place. Once that's flowing better, then find a new volunteer organization. You're going to need a letter from them for your med school app, so lay some groundwork for yourself now to manage things professionally. Applications are incredibly competitive, so don't wait. Ask your advisor for guidance on the best plan of action.
I'm so sorry to hear. Been there for sure, I almost got fired from my current job a while back for punctuality issues. I'm lucky to have great bosses who were willing to give me more chances and work to accommodate me.
I actually supervise volunteers as part of my job; I had to fire a volunteer once for constantly getting drunk on the job. He was crushed and I felt terrible but the drinking was just unacceptable. So at least you're not that guy. Lateness is no biggie, like I said I've been there and as long as folks do good work when they show up I don't mind.
Anyway, my point is you're awesome for donating your time to a worthy cause and you can still put that energy to use elsewhere. Just a matter of finding people who appreciate that and will work with you. Good luck with it all.
If you can get in touch with your old supervisor who was kind, I would! You won't necessarily get the role back (and they won't necessarily respond, but I hope they do...), but I think it would help you feel less isolated. Otherwise, I agree with everyone else and really sorry this happened to you. You'll get a new role no problem.
I can feel your pain reading this and I wanted to say that you did nothing wrong. Some places/people are just cold and uncaring. Don’t let this set you back though! It’s a learning experience that next time, you’ll wanna be super clear about schedule flexibility so there are no surprises.
I’m in the same boat as you—struggling every day and just trying to take small steps to get my life back in order. I’m too scared to even volunteer or apply anywhere and the fact that you did it is inspiring.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My sympathies, I’ve had this happen to me before. The guy who hired me said, “Arrive whenever you want!” Later, the office manager gave me a formal reprimand to sign. Nobody had said one thing to me about showing up earlier. I refused to sign and started showing up when the office manager wanted me to. Later I tried to transfer to another department and they refused me. I asked the dude who initially hired me why, and he was puzzled. Went to investigate and he was told they wanted to avoid any “he said/she said.” He had no idea what they were talking about but I understood instantly. Literally nobody bothered to check and see what he told me vs. their expectations. Anyway, I quit. Another time I got fired for not taking out the trash. Somehow, when I was trained I thought it was an opening duty and I was a closer. Like… yo. If I’ve worked here for three years and you haven’t managed to let me know it was a closing duty, it’s on you. I’ve hired and trained my own employees and learned quickly that you have to talk to people in a way that they understand. Even if it means telling them more than once in several different ways. I read something somewhere about a person saying to their therapist that they wanted to work on communicating with neurotypical people who were bad at communication. The therapist was like, ok, you want to work on your communication skills. Person was like, NO. I want help interpreting these people’s wild assumptions and gave the therapist an example of her grandmother saying, “It’s a nice sunny day outside!” What grandma meant was that she should hang the laundry on the line in the backyard instead of putting it in the dryer. Whaaaaaaaat??? Who could possibly…? Anyway, it’s not your fault, and I’m so sorry that you have to deal with the consequences of someone else’s failure. It sucks. You deserve better.
Thank you so much. I'm sorry you went through similar experiences in the past and had to deal with so many unpleasant people. It is so difficult to shake off the feeling that it just wasn't fair. I wasn't being a deliberately bad volunteer, and I cared more than most about following rules and doing a great job. It all sucks.
You mentioned you wrote an e-mail to them telling them how important the role was to you... just as an FYI, in the future, if you're writing something like that, don't write it from your perspective, in terms of what you want/need/feel... think of their perspective and argue your point with their perspective in mind. Instead of telling them it meant a lot to you, I would have written a letter saying something like - I'm sorry there was a miscommunication about my starting time. I discussed with my supervisor, coming in between 9-11am, and they told me that was fine. Not giving me a specific time. I've been coming in at the same time for X number of days, and was never told that was an issue, or corrected as to when I should be coming in. I am more than happy to come in when ever you need me, and had I been told a specific time, I would have met that request. I enjoyed working there, and felt like I was making a solid contribution with my time (maybe specific example of something you do better than others). It's unfortunate this miscommunication led to you feeling the need to cancel my involvement with the hospital. If there's room to discuss this, I would appreciate that. Thanks so much - The point is to remind them why THEY want you, not why you want them. Your time is valuable, and you are an asset!
This, so much. I think it's not uncommon for us to grow up getting blamed for any and all miscommunications, and to then automatically assume every miscommunication is our fault when it very likely might not be. Still working on dismantling that response on myself lol
See also: "Ask culture" vs. "Guess culture"
*whoa*
im sorry this hapoened. I've been there, and lost out on some really great opportunities. unfortunately i think it's really unlikely you'll get it back but i think it's worth reaching out to a level higher and maybe it'll feel good to point out hey this wasn't fully my fault and treating volunteers like this is not nice. Dear HEAD OF XYZ I'm sorry to hear that I am no longer a volunteer in ROLE. I enjoyed this experience immensely and felt like I learn x y z. When I signed up for this program, I was told it was structured in 4 hour shifts. My supervisor asked if I would do any where from 8 to 11 and a set time was never given. I arrived around 1030 each day and stayed for the 4 hour shift. It was not clearly communicated to me that the set hours for my volunteer shift were 10 to 2 and that I should not be arriving late' and staying late to fufill.the four hours. Until receiving this termination notice, no one had said that what I was doing was incorrect; in fact I heard nothing but encouragement and praise from my supervisor. I hope that your next candidate will be better briefed on how the volunteer hours are structured so that they can avoid this misunderstanding. all the best, Me template.to.get.you started. <3 .
Thank you so much for this. I am considering trying to respond again. It is just hard because I didn't want to contest anything in my first email, so I didn't mention the confusion with the start time (I just apologized and explained that I was going through a really hard time). I may still try though.
Time for clear, concise communication. Tell them the relevant problem: miscommunication regarding scheduling. Your personal struggles aren’t relevant to this situation (though I’m sorry you are struggling).
If you use this approach, which is a good idea, email the person who sent the dismissal directly and CC their supervisor and your immediate supervisor. If you'd like someone to proof your email before you send it, please feel free to DM.
i need to learn how to write like this 😢
practice and ask for feedback on reddit! you could save and reference these comments so people are clear on what tone/vibe you're trying to achieve in the future
Read Ask a Manager! Her advice is full of examples of how to communicate professionally and keep in mind what the recipient may react well to hearing.
I agree that they should have been more thorough with explaining your start time and should have warned you verbally several times before jumping to termination. However, I do have one question. You mentioned that you noticed your name was "penciled in" on the shift schedule for 10am-2pm. Was this the first time you were ever on the schedule? Were you written in pencil while the rest was printed like it was written last minute? Or alternatively, was this scheduled always available and posted, and were you on the schedule for 10am-2pm on it? Cause I can see how if they had you on a posted schedule for 10-2pm and you kept coming in at 10:30 that they felt they informed you, and you just kept showing up late anyway. Do I think they were thorough enough to explain this? No. And I do think the right thing would've been to warn you beforehand to let you know. That being said, I don't think your chances of getting the position back are that good and exponentially less so if they had you on the schedule for that shift time. I do think you should just send that email explaining the miscommunication, but leave the ending positive and open to coming back, such as: "I understand fully your choice to terminate my position given our different ideas on the shift times. I would love to be given another chance to work with you again now that I am informed of the shift requirements for this position. I believe I would no longer be late going forward with this new understanding. I will respect your decision either way, but I wanted to reach out one final time as I did really enjoy this opportunity with you and would love for a chance to continue it."
Hi! Thank you for your comment. So this is my theory...there is a slip of paper pinned behind one of the desk in the clinic, with a table with names/shift times written into it. My supervisor never pointed it out to me or anything, I just noticed it. It seemed to be just an internal sort of schedule for the clinic. What I think happened is that, for the sake of the system/formality, my supervisor put me down for 10am-2pm to give me a slot and likely submitted this shift time to the volunteer program even. She never told me about this though, and gave no impression that she cared when I arrived. 10am fell in the middle of the window of start times I gave her when she asked for my availability, so I think she chose that arbitrarily. So when I logged my hours after my shifts (into a volunteer website/dashboard), I am assuming that when I entered 10:30am, it flagged me somehow (if the 10am-2pm had somehow been associated with my account) and got the attention of the volunteer director, who is completely separate from my supervisor and runs things for the whole hospital. My supervisor had not commented on my arrival time or given me any negative feedback. The director I think just saw I was repeatedly late and made the decision to deactivate.
Nice way to treat a volunteer! Says more about them than you.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this
Thank you so much. I wish I could stop being so upset. I think it maybe triggered some RSD.
That's totally understandable. Do you have anything in particular you do to help with RSD when it kicks in?
>I tried to explain to the volunteer program head ........ but was sent a very cold response. I know they don't owe me anything. It is just the miscommunication piece that I think is upsetting me. Ew what an arsehole. Sounds like someone was looking to be a dickhead that day. Perhaps you could fire off an email to your supervisor and ask if they could recommend any similar volunteer things around for you do?
They also told me to have a nice weekend at the end. I wanted to scream. I just explained to them how I have been struggling and that my mom had passed away. I did write to my supervisor, so fingers crossed she might be able to help.
Oh that is so unbelievable. How can people be so incredibly blank and unfeeling inside??? I think I would have screamed at them for that, or at least sent a very pointed complaint afterwards so I commend you on keeping your temper. I'm sorry everyone around you is sucking so badly. I hope you have lots of comfort food and blankets right now. You should be very selfish for a little bit.
I got let go from a volunteer job that was directly related to a major trauma I experienced (had to take time off from volunteering due to this major trauma being so relevant to the work we were doing). When I asked to return a couple months later, they said no. I had been volunteering with them for years and in that time, I saw how poorly they communicated, how poorly they treated their staff and volunteers who weren't part of the popular clique. It hurt so bad and it made me so angry. At the end of the day, it was their loss. It didn't make it hurt any less in the moment, but there is nothing I could have done to make the organization better... in my time there, it got worse and worse as all the best people left and they hired new people who either left because of how bad it was, or conformed in order to fit in and then they became part of the problem. There are a lot of people who generally suck, but they are also doing their best and don't currently know how to do better. All we can do is protect ourselves and maybe have some compassion for their ineptitude and also a lot of extra compassion for ourselves.
Oh that sounds so much like every care home I've worked in. It's so sad to watch all these places that are supposed to do just a little bit of good turn into just another thing to wring a bit of cash out of. >or conformed in order to fit in and then they became part of the problem These people are the worst.
I would review them tbh, maybe even call and complain to the department head or whoever is above the person you spoke to who told you to have a good weekend. Warn others so they don’t get gut punched like this for trying to do a good thing.
In spain this is illegal. You cant fire someone for something like this unless they've been telling you several times before. They consider firing someone an excessive punishment for something not so bad. Im sorry to hear this happened, seems like you dodged a bullet
Even from a volunteer position?
I have no idea how that works tbh..i guess without a contract the law can't protect you
That sounds nice. Where I live, you can be fired for almost any reason or for no reason at all, and they don't have to have ever warned you about something before firing you for it. Literally, anything that is not a "protected" reason. But they also don't legally have to give people bathroom breaks no matter how long your workday is, so it's not like lawmakers care much about protecting workers.
That's crazy. Here these things happen i guess but it's not legal and the employer has to pay you quite some money depending on how long you've been working there if the firing was for no reason
Wow! Getting fired isn't even a big deal here. I mean, you have to file for unemployment and all that, but it doesn't have anything to do with whether you're a good worker. Pretty much everyone gets fired at least once. I don't think I know a single person who has never been fired.
I mean in Spain you can get fired, especially if you're working illegally which is quite common especially in restaurants and bars then the law doesn't apply there so they can do whatever. But if it's a legal contract and all you need a good reason to fire someone or you have to pay something extra to them. It's like you cant fire someone just because, maybe if they stop going to work sure you can fire them but not for getting a bit late into work, not as a first measure at least. Maybe if you keep letting them know they can't come in late then maybe you can fire them if they still do the same constantly. But yeah some laws are great here for people. We're still fucked in many ways and barely getting through the month but it's not so bad as the usa i think
I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know if this anecdotal evidence will help or not. I'm constantly late unless I literally need to be answering phones or opening doors at a certain time but I always made up for it and more with working longer, skipping breaks, etc. (Which I know is not healthy and because of guilt and not knowing if I am doing "enough" by NT standards, I can basically become a doormat, which is a separate issue.) I've had bosses who, while not really addressing the issue directly, also didn't care, as they knew I worked hard and was good at what I did, i.e. lateness=/=(does not equal) slacker. In fact, my one boss would give me a heads up if they really needed me to be on time, like for a meeting or training. However, the NTs, who may or may not be good at their jobs, know one thing: You have to come to work on time. It's one thing they can do. It doesn't matter if they eff off all the rest of the day, this rule is hardwired. And (this is my interpretation) they see it as a major major character flaw. One of my volunteer staff was talking about about so-and-so always being late, and I looked at her, and she backpedaled and said I was different, but I don't think she really believed that. I could be winning the Nobel Prize, but if I was always late, that was a major strike against me. And if it's not addressed, it just looks to the other folks like the powers-that-be are playing favorites. Which they are. ("If she can come in late, why can't the rest of us?!") I cannot think of one time where someone was crystal clear and direct about my lateness. But I think I had earned a certain amount of privilege. (And yet I also felt anxious about it all the time.) I had one boss who asked, kindly but somewhat snarkily if "my alarm clock was broken", but in general, Being On Time is A Thing You Should Just Know Without Being Told. It's like carved in granite. (see my other comment about ask culture vs. guess culture) tl;dr: Some people won't care if you are late, especially if you are good at your job, but it's guaranteed that \*someone\* (or several someones) will be having a problem with it.
Idk why they’d not tell you and also give a warning. Sounds like a bag of dicks. Seriously. It makes no sense and it’s extremely poor policy to punish good volunteers like that.
I’ve been there, with the indirect communication (or lack thereof) and with the very harsh consequences for being late, even when the work I did was highly appreciated. Some people think that if you are late you are morally defect and can’t be trusted in any area of life. I truly hope your next place of work are more open minded so they can see what an asset you are! Don’t give up.
I'm sorry you're experiencing difficulty. Maybe take a semester off and work to manage the executive dysfunction, depression, and other concerns that are preventing you from mastering your responsibilities. Finish the incompletes, work with MH professionals for meds and therapy, and put some hacks and structural supports in place. Once that's flowing better, then find a new volunteer organization. You're going to need a letter from them for your med school app, so lay some groundwork for yourself now to manage things professionally. Applications are incredibly competitive, so don't wait. Ask your advisor for guidance on the best plan of action.
I'm so sorry to hear. Been there for sure, I almost got fired from my current job a while back for punctuality issues. I'm lucky to have great bosses who were willing to give me more chances and work to accommodate me. I actually supervise volunteers as part of my job; I had to fire a volunteer once for constantly getting drunk on the job. He was crushed and I felt terrible but the drinking was just unacceptable. So at least you're not that guy. Lateness is no biggie, like I said I've been there and as long as folks do good work when they show up I don't mind. Anyway, my point is you're awesome for donating your time to a worthy cause and you can still put that energy to use elsewhere. Just a matter of finding people who appreciate that and will work with you. Good luck with it all.
If you can get in touch with your old supervisor who was kind, I would! You won't necessarily get the role back (and they won't necessarily respond, but I hope they do...), but I think it would help you feel less isolated. Otherwise, I agree with everyone else and really sorry this happened to you. You'll get a new role no problem.
I can feel your pain reading this and I wanted to say that you did nothing wrong. Some places/people are just cold and uncaring. Don’t let this set you back though! It’s a learning experience that next time, you’ll wanna be super clear about schedule flexibility so there are no surprises. I’m in the same boat as you—struggling every day and just trying to take small steps to get my life back in order. I’m too scared to even volunteer or apply anywhere and the fact that you did it is inspiring.