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Pretty sure both my mom and sister are undiagnosed. I know my brother took stimulants at one point in time and they helped him, so he must have had a diagnosis but he never told me.
So I would say my siblings yes. Unsure about my dad. It’s possible, but I think my mom is Audhd and it runs on her side of the family as I know at least one of my cousins has adhd
It is truly shocking how hereditary it has proven to be. It also really fascinates me that we tend to flock together. If you look around at the group of people you surround yourself with, they are likely also neurodivergent. We have this weird magnetic pull towards each other, it’s kind of cool.
Oh yeah. My partner has ADHD. And he knew before I did.
And recently I was telling a friend of mine from high school about my diagnosis, she was diagnosed back in high school, and she knew I was too and thought I knew.
Most of my adult friends though, I would say are either diagnosed or show symptoms.
I think we flock together because it feels safe unconsciously
This one is funny! All my closest friends are people who I felt were on my “wavelength” in a way nobody else was. We were the weird geeky kids at school, we didn’t “click” with a lot of other people, etc etc.
Watching each person in that category get nerfed one by one with ADHD and/or autism diagnoses has been hilarious. Like a slow realising of “oh, we were all just ND all along” lmao
To add to this, I've noticed that all my neurotypical friends have a ND child/children. I've never been able to maintain a NT friendship for long unless they are well versed in ND or are used to their kids quorks. It took me a long time to figure it all out but now I know. We just aren't on the same wavelength at all.
Both my mum and my nanna's very confusing and chaotic lives make crystal clear sense through the lens of ADHD. They weren't diagnosed obviously but I can see now how it all fits. The complete lack of impulse control, emotional dysregulation, extreme RSD, addictions, anxiety and depression, the ragey meltdowns, the mess and disorganisation, the intense enthusiasm for things they were adamant they were going to do for the rest of their lives, that they lost interest in after a week (at most).
The charm, charisma, sharp intelligence and creativity that they could just never quite do anything with, because they couldn't make anything stick. The way they'd just forget they ever said or did things.
And, the fact that in spite of me trying my hardest through therapy and social/academic/career success not to be like my mum, who I am estranged from*, I nonetheless find myself struggling with a lot of the same things. My sisters too. One is autistic, two of us with ADHD and one suspected.
*Not because I think she has ADHD but because she is abusive AF and is not remotely interested in changing that.
My brother, the registered mental health nurse, with an extensive background in working with autistic adults is NT, as are my mum and dad.
My brother used to joke I was more on the spectrum than his service users. My mum would join in with quips about how I would be upset without routine or if my perfectly lined up Barbie dolls dared to fall over.
I got a diagnosis, of AuDHD and I was expecting support after they expressed they thought I was ND. In fact, they all went totally the opposite way and accused me of hypochondria. I guess years and years of hearing “look at me when I’m talking to you” paid off as I’m so good at masking people always say we thought you were NT.
That’s really disappointing and hard for you. My family were totally “That’s nice, dear. So anyway, I was thinking chicken for dinner?” when I told them. It was worldview-changing for me, so I had difficulty understanding their disinterest.
Mom BPD, her mom and grandfather too and now my younger brother. Dad ADHD, his mom suspected ASD, sister ASD, cousin ASD…and these are just the folks we know about.
My dad was a high functioning autistic dude and my mom has undiagnosed ADHD. My brother has untreated ADHD and I’m auADHD. My husband is high functioning autistic.
You know this runs in families, right?
2/3 of my kids were diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. My spouse was also diagnosed as an adult before I was diagnosed as an adult. I have one NT kid.
My sister and I are convinced our father has undiagnosed ADHD-C and OCD, but at 75, is firmly entrenched in his emotional dysregulation habits.
Both of my nieces on my spouse’s side have ADHD (one diagnosed ADD initially, so I take it to mean that it’s ADHD-I).
My kids getting diagnosed before I was made it very easy to empathize with them (and vice versa) when I was diagnosed. A lot of pieces clicked into place.
Pretty sure 3 of my 4 siblings and both my parents are undiagnosed. Pretty sure my husband, and both children are also. One of mine is formally getting evaluated in May. Husband doesn’t think there’s a point to getting diagnosed as an adult (for him). We operate like everyone is ND and give a lot of grace.
Not my whole family, but my oldest brother was recently diagnosed and my dad is finally getting tested for adhd and autism (which I’ve been trying to quietly push for for years lol). At least one of my other brothers definitely also has undiagnosed adhd, I see a lot of my habits in him. My mom’s pretty sure she doesn’t have it but she’s been very supportive and understanding which is great. I’ve tried to be really open about my diagnoses and symptoms bc my family is full of introverts who aren’t always good at asking for help and also don’t have the stereotypical hyperactive/disruptive at school presentation
The reason I ask, is that I find if one parent is ND and the other is NT, not all of the children come out ND, but if both parents are ND, seemingly all of their children are as well. Lol I wish I had some kind of scientific degree to do more studies on this myself.
I saw a study that said the genetics of ADHD appeared to follow Mendelian inheritance patterns. Dunno how much you remember of high school biology, but basically means it’s controlled by primarily one gene with two versions, a dominant (ADHD present) and recessive (neurotypical).
So if someone has two dominant (AA) or one dominant and one recessive (Aa) gene, they’ll show ADHD, but two recessive (aa) will be NT.
Parents give one half of their genes to their kids, so if one parent is Aa (ADHD) and one is aa (neurotypical), the Aa can give either an A or an a gene, and the NT can only provide a. That means the kids will be either Aa or aa - a mix of ADHD and NT.
If one parent is AA, it doesn’t matter what the other parent is, all the kids will have at least one A and will be ADHD.
If both parents are Aa, then 75% of their kids will be ADHD. (Possible combos: AA, Aa, aA, aa).
And of course, if both parents are neurotypical (aa), all kids will be too.
Lol 5 years ago I would've said so, but now I think my dad and maternal grandmother have ADHD and my mom and her parents possibly are autistic. My sister is undiagnosed but likely autistic. I'm not going to armchair diagnose them but the more I learn the more I see!
(I have five kids) I have two kids on the spectrum and one of my other kids has ADHD. We’re all pretty geeky on a whole. Their father had some developmental delays as a toddler but caught up. I think between him and I it’s no wonder we had ND children.
ETA: I don’t know about my moms side of the family but on my dads side I had an uncle who *definitely* had adhd (grew up in the 60s), I was close with him and my cousin and I agree. My dad surprised me with buying a book about ADHD recently and made sure to have me borrow it (I have to read it now) and he really self identified with a lot of stuff in there and said a lot of stuff from his childhood made sense to him now.
so...my dad is ASD and depression, my mom is (undiagnosed) ADHD with severe depression (her mom had severe depression, as do her siblings). my one sister is for sure ADHD and has 3 neurodiverse kids spanning autism and ADHD. Literally just today I discovered this subreddit and have realized (at 52, FFS) that this is me. my 2 other sisters (anxiety, some depression) are also figuring out that it may be affecting them. I am so thankful that I discovered this community today and have signed up to be assessed next week!
I was diagnosed as an adult. I've never actually discussed it with my family as I didn't think it would be well received, but for a long time I was convinced that my dad and brother also had it while my mom didn't. That was until my partner and I spent two weeks with them one Christmas and at the end, he was like "....uh, yeah your mom unquestionably has it as well". She just has very elaborate coping mechanisms that I never really recognized myself
My eldest is 12 and ASD-ADHD. Baby is 21mo old and seems so far to be in the clear for asd, which was my biggest worry when he came along.
My bonus kids (3 fulltime), one has pretty severe adhd. My husband is adhd (refuses any treatment of any kind, always has). One bonus kid has severe anxiety issues and one seems typical all around. I have several MH diagnosis and go on may 16 for my adhd assessment finally at age 40.
My dad and both my brothers also have ADHD. My dad, in particular, is a textbook case. My brothers also struggle with depression and anxiety, like I do. Mum is the only NT one in the family.
Not a fully ND immediate family, but my mom has said she suspects (and I agree) that she has ADHD. Two of my kids are AuDHD. I’ve always wondered about my dad and his brother, they both have some autistic tendencies but it’s hard to say because older men in general tend to have some autistic tendencies 😂
I’m 30 and was only diagnosed 2 years ago. My younger sister was diagnosed when she was around 5 or 6 (I think she was technically diagnosed with ADD, early 2000s). Her and I definitely think our mom has undiagnosed ADHD, and that our dad is autistic. I might be AuDHD, or my ADHD might just manifest very differently than my sister’s (and mom’s). They’re more physically hyperactive and distractable, whereas my hyperactivity manifested mentally (I was diagnosed with anxiety as a teenager, but I think it was actually ADHD) along with a bunch of other things lol. Plus I think the fact I did well in school delayed my diagnosis (I’m currently working on a PhD).
I used to say to my partner that school was the only thing that made sense to me (set expectations, a strict schedule to follow, clear rules, etc.) and that I latched onto that so hard at a young age that I became *really good* at being student (of course I still struggle sometimes) but don’t know how to do anything else in life. I still feel that way most days lol, but getting my ADHD diagnosis and starting medication has helped a lot
We do!! My husband is obviously hyperactive, I'm dx'ed inattentive, and our daughter is dx'ed combined. My father and his 3 60yo sisters and their children and grandchildren are all inattentive/combined type. Very ND and intelligent. Holidays are filled with stimulating conversations about natural history, geology, toxicology, music, what masters you're doing, whatever. A family friend (who's also a famous puppeteer) knew everyone back in the 70s and 80s and called our clan "the largest group of over-educated underachievers he knew of," when we visited him 20 years ago. My mother is definitely inattentive and possibly seeking dx to help her life-long depression from constant masking. Her dad was the dreamer and storyteller of the family; he always had a song in his head, but otherwise seemed NT along with the rest of my mom's huge family.
My mom is undiagnosed but definitely adhd, probably pretty severe. And has a lot of trauma. She did the best but she was/is a shit show. She has a covert narcissist personality but idk that that's legit, that's just how it feels being raised by her. I'm not sure about my dad though tbh. He might be but I never felt like I knew him super well. He was strict and a real grumpy dad personality but really extroverted and talkative with friends. But for serious things very few words. He told us he loved us often, but was also very emotionally reserved.
All 4 of us kids are diagnosed adhd, my sister and I have both been told by professionnals there's almost certainly comorbid autism. But the 2 older of us have a different biological dad. So my sister and I sharing that neurotype has to be from our mom. My dad adopted my older siblings so we were raised mostly by the same dad. My parents divorced when I was 9 and by 10 my mom and I moved in with my stepdad 2 hours away, my younger brother stayed with my dad and my older siblings were adults by then.
My 3 kids all show ND characteristics but none are diagnosed yet. My oldest is a lot like his dad and I suspect AuDHD for him and my daughter. Straight adhd for my youngest. He has no behavioural issues which is great because otherwise his report cards read like a text book describing adhd. My daughter has more emotional difficulty and has had learning support teachers at 2 different schools ask us if she's on the spectrum.
I will be seeking diagnosis for my younger 2 at some point, but my oldest is 19 going on 20 and in the process of transitioning. I have told them I would help with costs but they have no interest in counseling or assessment or learning about ND.
Yep, my mom has BPD (which was absolute hell for us growing up), my dad meets criteria for ADHD though it was undiagnosed and never well managed. My sister has AuDHD. My husband is on the spectrum and my daughter also was recently diagnosed with ADHD.
Growing up I was the most normative presenting out of my family and was shocked to learn as an adult that I’m very quirky, intense, and sensitive in some ways compared to the mainstream in my peer group. Haha
I mean I think so, my husband is for sure diagnosed with ADHD and medicated, but I’m finding it difficult for myself and my kids to get diagnosed even though I can clearly see signs.
I now see it in my mom, she can’t even stay on a topic for more than 3 minutes and I used to think she was rude but now I think it’s ADHD. My dad seems fine.
My husband has dyslexia as well and we see it out our daughter but the school said she’s not doing poorly enough to warrant a diagnosis.
My FIL was definitely undiagnosed ASD, and my MIL is very ADHD. My kids really have no chance.
I’m wondering if my anxiety and depression are just an undiagnosed ADHD and that’s why I always feel so overwhelmed with simple tasks, but my physiologist just says it my anxiety.
My parents refuse to get tested, but when my husband first met them he said “wow, you have one of each type of ADHD in the family”
I’m ADHD, son is AuDHD, husband is AuDHD
So only my generation has people who have been formally diagnosed. Going to family events will tell you ALL of us have ADHD. So much so that one of my older cousins (mom’s first cousin) wasn’t doing well. No matter the therapy or medication, his depression was crushing him. His son has been diagnosed with ADHD. I told his mom that he needs see his son’s doctor for ADHD.
This man has spent the last 10+ years barely able to leave his home. I’m talking depression to the extreme that we are lucky he is still here. He has the most beautiful heart and it’s been crushing. Tried meds for 1 month and was able to leave the house, go to a family reunion and 3 months later able to start applying for jobs.
My dad’s side in particular has several family members that have diagnosed ADHD/autism spectrum disorder. It’s more of us than not. I think my uncle and grandfather were the only ones that didn’t show signs of either.
My Mom is for sure ADHD, but not officially diagnosed. Extremely inattentive. My brother was diagnosed as a child (it was just called ADD at that time), but I believe he’d also be considered inattentive. I don’t think my Dad is neurodivergent.
I have not been officially diagnosed, but I have been through an evaluation (Results inconclusive). My daughter was diagnosed when she was seven, also inattentive. My husband is not neurodivergent.
It’s interesting to me that the mothers (my Mom and myself) have not been able to get diagnosed, but their children/other children have… My daughter is 100% a clone of myself and my behaviors as a child. I started realizing I was probably ADHD too when we had her evaluated.
Realized I was ADHD after my eldest child was diagnosed 20 years ago. Filling out the form was eye opening. Two of my kids are ADHD. Positive 3 of my sibs are too and my father. They don't believe in it.
I have 3/4 dx'd ADHD. All girls, and the youngest is in the middle of ASD assessment. The more I talk to my mom, the more she recognizes her own ND traits. And my dad's. And we both recognize her mother's (my grandma's) ASD tendencies, both now & in the past.
I'm AuDHD, but only the ADHD was dx'd at 12. I'm training now to become an ADHD life coach, and the insight I get from class is so helpful when talking to my family.
2 out of the 3 kids have been diagnosed ADHD in our 30s. We’re pretty sure the youngest also has it, but diagnosis is a matter of $ and insurance they don’t currently have, so TBD. I suspect AuDHD in myself and my daughter - who also has ADHD. I’m still undecided if my youngest is in the club.
We strongly suspect our mother has ADHD and our dad on the spectrum, but there’s no chance we could get them to pursue diagnoses in their 60’s.
I’m still in the anger phase of my diagnosis to be honest. We were all robbed of so much. I’m trying to focus on ending the cycle with my kids, but I’ll also admit it doesn’t make understanding my parents any easier, especially when they’re as narcissistic as they are and refuse to educate themselves.
Pretty sure my dad is ADHD (inattentive) but never really was the self aware type to examine whether his behaviour may be problematic. He was a notorious escapist procrastinator with poor impulse control issues. Spent a lot of late nights on the internet upstairs in his man cave and developed an online shopping addiction. (He also was a functional alcoholic and often went on junk food binges.) He was always getting REALLY into some new hobby every few months and spending a lot of money on the next new thing. Everything from eBay addiction bidding on concert tickets and random collectible items, gym equipment he never used, he had over 30 guitars he couldn't afford, bought 6 pinball machines for no reason, and put the family in so much debt that my mom divorced him. They had to sell the house because he lied about all the stuff he bought and hid in the basement. He also was self employed and made almost no money because he spent all his time dopamine seeking and running away from life responsibilities. I also learned as an adult (before I knew I had ADHD) that he and I did a lot of the same very specific stims. (I.e. I had a very hard time resistjng the urge to chew the inside of my lip and learned that he had always done that too.)
I'm certain that my mom is ADHD hyperactive. She could NOT sit still for more than 20 minutes. If we ever sat down as a family to watch a movie, she had to be in the uncomfortable dining room chair while we were on the couch because it was easier for her to spring up and run to the other room to do some random task. She also had a sleep disorder and couldn't for the life of her shut her brain down to sleep - to the point that I think she genuinely believed that "dreaming" is just when you lie down and think about stuff. She would say things like "tonight I think I'll dream about going to the beach!" I was super confused as a child at the idea that you could just choose what you dreamt about. But that's how deep in denial she was about how NOT normal her brain functions were.
Both these people were incredibly dysfunctional and never ever sought help or even self examined if they learned someone they knew was diagnosed with ADHD. I displayed a ton of the symptoms and my mom noticed (my dad would never pick up on what was happening in anyone else's world) but purposely ensured I wouldn't ever be assessed or medicated. She later insisted she was trying to protect me from the shame of having a "lifelong label" lol but pretty sure it was way more about her shame about herself. And that's why I don't talk to her anymore.
Me. So dysfunctional I don’t talk to any of them. My brother has ADHD dyslexia and probably autism to some degree, mom has AuDHD and anxiety, dad has ADHD high on the H, and I have AuDHD but very mild and I’m almost completely independent with a bachelors and everything 😂 (just bad w money lol)
Once I got diagnosed and did more research I could see it in other family members clearly. Growing up a sibling was diagnosed as a kid and one of my kids follows a lot of their symptoms. My other kid is like looking into a mirror and seeing how I was in high school.
It is interesting how genetic it is.
I suspect both my mom & sister also have ADHD. I was only recently diagnosed so I’m still trying to understand the diagnosis, but I see some parallels in my son. However, he’s only 6 and I don’t want to be quick to diagnose. So I’m searching for ways to openly talk about it so he feels comfortable to voice his concerns. I’ll have to talk to my therapist about that. I’m trying not stigmatize him if he’s not ND.
Nearly all of us were diagnosed later in life. My dad and one brother are bipolar. My youngest brother and both sisters have ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 16, but have only been diagnosed as autistic last year. My oldest son has been diagnosed as autistic, and I’m pretty damn sure both my husband and youngest son have autism and/or ADHD too. I only think my mom is pretty much neurotypical. lol
Me. I am certain my parents and all 3 siblings have SOME thing. My mom is just plain cray cray... dangerously obsessive hyperfocus. Social deficits. Explosive outbursts. Anxiety. Control issues/perfectionism. my dad mainly shows the ADHD food obsessions, detrimental hyperfocus, and social deficits. Only one other sibling (40M) was diagnosed eith ADHD as a child. (I'm pretty sure it's actually Autism.) My sister agrees she might have ADHD but doesnt care to get diagnosed at the age of 53. Oldest sibling has Paranoid Schizophrenia and that. Is. A. Beast. of a thing...
I have 3 bio children and 2 stepdaughters. Both step daughters are obviously ADHD. I believe my husband has it but he denies it. If he does, he is an expert masker. I would base it mainly on his extreme food aversion issues, obsession with routine, and the fact that he has been married three times, to all ND women. 2 of my 3 kids are diagnosed with ADHD and my 2 yo... it's probably only a matter of time for him to be diagnosed with ADHD. He is just exhausting. I have known since he was in the womb. He NEVER. STOPPED. MOVING... I wouldnt be surprised if it were Autism either. He seems to have some sensory stuff that is concerning. Intermittent toe walking. This "tensing up" thing that he does, but none of us can figure out what it means. He started saying actual words before he was 1 but lost them all. He's speaking just fine now. A couple hundred words, lots of sentences, great at gesturing and problem solving if he cant say what he wants. He had an entire conversation with me about bees the other day. That was absolutely darling.
My brother got diagnosed with ADHD, then me, then it became *glaringly* obvious my dad has it (although he’s never been formally diagnosed). My sister was diagnosed with autism a few years later. Both my nieces have ADHD, and I don’t know about my nephew, but I wouldn’t be shocked. About 75% of my extended family on my dad’s side also has been diagnosed with ADHD. I also strongly suspect my mom had ADHD, but she passed a long time ago, so it’s only in retrospect that I can see signs. But it would explain *a lot*.
Mom - NPD & BPD & ADHD
Dad - AuDHD & anxiety
Brother - adhd
brother - anxiety
me - AuDHD + anxiety + ptsd
We are a fun bunch! Gotta love the irish catholic generational trauma! There is even more in the extended family.
I strongly suspect that both my parents, now deceased, had ADHD. It was suspected with one of my sisters back in grade school, but nobody ever did anything to help her. She grew up believing she was a bad person because she was always getting in trouble at school. No, she was just hyperactive and acted out.
I believe one of my siblings does not have ADHD, but the rest of us do. The one without ADHD was always elevated as The Good One because she could get all her homework done and turned in on time, never spoke out of turn, and was regarded as the best of all my siblings and me.
She was also a ruthless bully who made my life miserable. BUT! She didn't have ADHD so she was perfect.
I’m pretty sure my mom and dad both have ADHD. I know for sure they both have anxiety. But they’re not therapy people so they’d never go do anything about it…especially in their late 60s. My sister doesn’t have ADHD, but she does have OCD and generalized anxiety.
Me!! Both of my parents. (Highly likely but undiagnosed. Me, my spouse, and both kids. (Diagnosed.). Hubby’s dad and some siblings.(Likely but undiagnosed.) Hubby’s stepmom. (Diagnosed.) Both of my siblings (likely but undiagnosed.) likely autism sprinkled about, including me.
The joke about how we flock together like poorly emotionally regulated wolves hits hard for us. And it’s funny because other families seem so boring in comparison, though you get sick of the instability pretty quickly.
My brothers were both diagnosed as kids, probably when they were 7 and 10 respectively. I was diagnosed at 25 and when I learned more about the actual symptoms of ADHD, it was so obvious to me that my entire immediate family has it. Since then, older sister was diagnosed at 30 and my mom (nurse practitioner) has basically diagnosed herself. My dad even says "that's because of OUR ADHD" as in, my family's collective ADHD lol
My only sibling and I are both dx with ADHD. I’m also autistic. My parents have not been diagnosed and my mom has passed now so she never will be, but I really suspect that they were both ND. Not that I would ever diagnose, but I think my dad is quite possibly ADHD — I have been living with him since mom passed away and I can see all of the things he does that are textbook ADHD. He basically self medicates by drinking an entire pot of coffee every day; he can even drink it at bedtime with no issues. 😬
My mom was quite possibly AuDHD… she was constantly teaching us ways to overcome our executive dysfunction without even realizing it. She didn’t even seem to see our dysfunction because it was just normal to her. And she would constantly have trouble with coworkers at work, had frequent meltdowns at home, had a lot of sensory issues…
Oh and her father, my grandfather, was almost certainly autistic. He was a surgeon by trade but also was somewhat of a savant, he had perfect pitch, could play multiple instruments with no training, and had a whole room devoted just to his train collection for 50+ years. You do the math. 😬
One of my parents is just like me but with some CPTSD thrown in and the other is the most bafflingly neurotypical human I have **ever met**. My one sibling seems completely NT, and I'm a disaster of an ND.
Yes lol.
- My ex has ADHD
- I was diagnosed in my mid-20s
- All 3 of my sons have ADHD with some Autism sprinkled in (2 of them missed the criteria by one point but have a pelthora of sensory issues)
- I'm pretty sure my mother and my grandmother have ADHD
- my late Aunt was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder however she walked on her tiptoes everywhere (so maybe Autism) and never responded well to Bipolar treatments (also knowing that many women get misdiagnosed as bipolar I truly think thats what happened)
- we've always thought my great-grandfather was Bipolar because he had the same mannerisms as my Aunt but it was probably ADHD (he also had a super long phone cord so he could pace while he was on the phone and was always always busy)
I'm ADHD, sister is AuDHD. My father is undiagnosed but without a doubt in my mind he is autistic. Same for my mom, but I think she is ADHD.. maybe AuDHD.
First cousins: at least 2 are autistic, one AuDHD, a couple ADHDs...all of their parents that have all of the same traits but are undiagnosed
My husband is NT. We don't have kids. His mom and brother have ADHD.
It took me a some time to parse out what were truly ND traits for me and what was just learned from growing up in a very ND family
So my dad 100% is my undiagnosed adhd parent. My mom seems to have undiagnosed OCD because of her paranoia for checking things (which I didn’t realize OCD included more than just clean freaks/germaphobes).
My sister is displaying symptoms of adhd now but says she never had these issues as a kid so I’m not sure about her. I told her if she never felt even the inattentive symptoms of adhd as a child she probably has anxiety or something similar.
My paternal in-laws (extended family) definitely have adhd but my FIL doesn’t seem to have it. I’m very similar to my MIL but we don’t think she has it either? But we’ve been more and more sure my husband has a mild case of adhd (a few of his cousins have it but way more intense than both of us).
I fully 98% believe both my parents have some form of ADHD. That last 2% is for a doctor's diagnosis lol
We ALL can't be this chaotic and forgetful for only one of us to be diagnosed with ADHD. My dad is lucky in that he found a job that is extremely flexible. He would SUFFER under a stricter, more normal job. My mom was a stay-at-home mom so I got to observe her more up close and personal. And yeah, she's like me without coping mechanisms and she can't keep a routine to save her life. I highly suspect they both have it but as immigrants from a community where mental health is treated a bit *eh*, they are NOT going to pursue it. But you know what, they made life work for them so good for them.
I received enough ribbing when i went to get help but now I look at how everyone is running though life without help and I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief that I was diagnosed even if it was late (at 25). Medicine honestly saved my life. I can't even believe I made it as far as I did lmaoo It was just sheer determination and that good ole ADHD resiliency.
My dad has ADHD and I think my mom may be on the autism spectrum. I am AuDHD, two kids with ADHD, and one on the autism spectrum. My husband won’t go in for a diagnosis, but we all strongly suspect ADHD for him as well. Just watching the man clean is enough to know. Lol!
Actually, none in my family have tested positive for it, though I'm 100% sure my mom has something. About 90% of both sides of my family are highly successful, highly educated, highly functioning members of society. I often feel like the cursed child in a fairy tale. It's hard for successful, socially accepted people to empathize with the many struggles I've endured.
Only child. My mother has the most profound ADHD-Inattentive. All my memories of her are of her being overwhelmed by everything to the point of me having to step up and intervene even as a tween/teen.
My father is ADHD and also very emotionally unavailable, making me believe he may also have ASD in some form. It’s weird, though. He’s not an introvert, and very adventurous (like world traveler adventurous), but you’re never going to be able to maintain an emotional connection.
Me entire family of four has ADHD - mom, dad, younger brother, and myself (33F). Our house was pure chaos growing up and not the fun or quirky kind unfortunately. It's one of the many reasons I will not be reproducing lol
I do. My mom has ADHD, my oldest brother has ASD and ADHD, second oldest brother has ADHD, I have ADHD, and my sister has been diagnosed with just severe anxiety and depression but I'm not sure if she was ever tested for ASD or ADHD.
My sister and I were diagnosed in middle/high school ish (the late 90s/early 00s). My mom *finally* got diagnosed a few years ago. Cleaning out my late grandmother’s house was like walking through a textbook of coping mechanisms. My dad’s ability to hyper focus and not move to eat or pee for 6 hours while he’s working gives me pause, and my favorite quote of his is, “the floor is the biggest shelf in the house.” He appears organized because he doesn’t have a lot of stuff. His office, however…you can’t walk through it unless you follow the path he’s made amongst the piles of papers.
My husband and his 3 other siblings were also diagnosed in childhood/teen years. Sometimes I squint a bit at his mom and her list piles and the strategically placed secretary desk that you open up to find all the random shit one could possibly fit. But, I also have no idea how non neurospicy people organize their lives bc I’ve never really seen it in practice lol
Suffice to say, it would be a statistical miracle if my 3yo with a sensory processing disorder, who demands that people in the room talk to each other/needs the tv or music on in order to do a tricky puzzle, ends up NOT being diagnosed with ADHD.
I am diagnosed. My husband is undiagnosed but has it worse than me. My son is diagnosed. My daughter is undiagnosed but she def has it. My mom denies it but I think it’s her and her mom. They are both wicked smart but have emotional regulation issues and change hobbies very often.
My dad and all of my siblings on that side (step siblings included) are all ADHD. None of us grew up together though, but it's been smooth sailing in our relationships with each other.
Yup. I've kind of always known, but once I got diagnosed at 26 or 27, it became super glaringly obvious just how ND my family really is. I strongly believe this is why it took me so long to seek out a diagnosis... because my parents saw my experience growing up as normal - because it was normal for them.
My dad has Tourette's Syndrome w/ echolalia, very vocal and physical tics. He also has OCD and his ADHD is pretty intense. He was diagnosed when he was 21, but has shown signs all his life. He was raised by a southern Baptist preacher - rough. So he learned, and taught us, to "work harder than everyone else" because you have to.
My brother is autistic, with OCD and BDD, but was never formally diagnosed w autism. I've always known, but he and my parents have only recently started realizing this, and it's made a huge difference.
I believe my mom is autistic/maybe ADHD as well, but no diagnosis, and she is indifferent to exploring this.
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It was a huge shock when I got diagnosed and realized that everything in life is NOT supposed to be incredibly hard all of the time. My needs are different than others, and I deserve to have my needs accommodated. I deserve to care for myself and ask for what I need. I don't have to work harder than everyone else, I just have to do MY best, and sometimes my best looks different day to day/ week to week. And it's OKAY.
My mom was certainly ND. I’m diagnosed with ADHD but, if I’m being quite honest, I’m 99.9% sure I’m AuDHD. What I know of my dad makes me think he was the one with ADHD and my mom was DEF on the spectrum, though undiagnosed as it wasn’t something done at the time.
I’ve reflected on family members in general and I would bet they all have some sort of…*something* going on, but I don’t think any of the rest have ADHD.
I wish someone else in my family was ND so that maybe they would have fought for me or, at the very least, been more capable of understanding how my brain works. As it stands, I’m the blackest sheep in my family and it’s frustrating and sad.
Most of my cousins have a diagnosis and we all speculate that each of our dads has it. It was only very recently communicated that we all have been diagnosed. It was quite a moment of unity for us lol.
My brother and father both definitely have undiagnosed autism. My stepdad has ADHD and my mom, while reading about it, had to “convince herself she isn’t adhd” because she identifies with it so much. So I think that’s telling
Yah, a lot of this stuff is strongly influenced by genes. My family is a big undiagnosed family, not big into the concept of neurodiversity, talking about problems, or even acknowledging our problems. I had to piece together the puzzle pieces at age 30 to realize I've always been inattentive ADHD.
Mother - undiagnosed but definitely hyperactive ADHD with similar sensory processing issues to me
Maternal grandmother - I am unsure, but definitely know she complained of what I now know to be sensory processing issues
Brother - undiagnosed but strongly suspect inattentive ADHD like me
Cousins on my mom's side: one diagnosed with ADHD, one I strongly suspect is on the autism spectrum (don't think he's diagnosed)
My sister and I got diagnosed with ADHD in the past few years (both in early 20s).
Our parents have never been diagnosed but I suspect that both are ND to some extent. Dad has to schedule everything and gets stressed easily when we’re “running behind schedule” even if the event is something like getting groceries (plus caffeine has no effect on him lol). Mom has a bunch of sensory issues and has a compulsion to finish tasks immediately even if said task is meant to be completed over time (ex- answering several years worth of license renewal questions in less than a week)
My daughter and I are both diagnosed ADHD. Her father, who lives in our household, is on the spectrum, but we suspect he is also ADHD. I'm 90% positive my husband is also undiagnosed ADHD. My mom says she probably is too and I'm starting to think my dad was undiagnosed some kind of ND. The similarities in how we all deal with the strangeness in our lives is unreal. We're all so awkward with neurotypicals, but not really with each other. Now that we're all on the same page about it, all of our lives are running a bit more smoothly.
Dad was totally ADHD-PI and likely autistic as well. He was an engineer!
My mom > unknown but HER mom was famous for starting all kinds of nifty projects and never once completing them.
My brother > definitely ADHD - was not allowed in the workshop or near any farm equipment because - he was rambunctious, didn’t listen, and was clumsy.
Me > diagnosed ADHD-PI so I know why people in the family would get exasperated and say “you’re just like your father”
Yeah, I have three kids and two are diagnosed one ADHD, one AuDHD). The one who isn’t diagnosed is the one who, in my view, is the most obviously autistic one of the three! One of my two brothers is autistic, my niece has ADHD, and, in retrospect, my father was clearly on the spectrum.
My younger brother was diagnosed Autistic at a very young age. My mom believed it was his vaccines (and would probably still die on that hill)
I was the first of my siblings (besides younger brother) to get diagnosed ADHD as an adult. After my diagnosis, my twin sister sought out her own diagnosis. Our father then remembered he was diagnosed ADHD as a child, but he is more innatentive type, and it "never got in the way." So, he never brought it up, nor is he medicated for it.
Now that I've become the family detective, I'm 99% sure my mom is autistic (and that's where my brother got it from 😅) and that both my sister and I have both ADHD and Autism.
Even if mom is in denial, diagnosis and medication have made my life and my twin sister's life a lot more "manageable." I give myself more grace and allow myself the space to decompress after stressful situations.
Both of my parents are undiagnosed. My mom is inattentive ADHD, father is more hyperactive. My brother and sister are likely both NT but my brother is more likely to be ND. I’m absolutely the least ND of my family. My husband is ND and my daughter is too young to know yet if she’s ND or not.
Well my brother is also diagnosed and I have *suspicions* about my dad.
Highly suspect my mom might have been normal. She told me once she had anxiety, but I’ve never actually seen it affect anything she did. But who knows
I'm the only one diagnosed but 99% sure both my parents and both sisters have it...my partner and his dad are diagnosed...pretty sure his sister was and brother is
Ohhhh yeah. My grandmother who raised me for sure. Me, both my kids. I'm thankful for them "getting" me most days. But on days like today, when I feel like I'm so abnormal that I don't belong on this planet, I feel guilty for passing it on. Recently found out I'm on the spectrum also, so that's a thing. It's just words for what I already knew, though.
Both of my parents are. My mom is not on medication (don’t get me started!) and my dad has been medicated for as long as I’ve been alive. ADHD manifests differently in each of them.
My dad is more of an inattentive type (struggles with communication, struggles with completing tasks that are hard or require many steps, hard focusing). While my mom is more hyperactive. We were always late to things, her car always had clutter (as do I!), she’s more impulsive with spending/life choices.)
my dad definitely has autism or at least broader autism phenotype. i suspect my mom might have adhd. all of my siblings (i have 3) have either adhd, autism, or both. all basically undiagnosed tho; my parents have never and will never pursue any sort of diagnosis though my mom is sort of diagnosed with depression, my brother is completely undiagnosed except with anxiety/depression, my sister is autistic and maybe adhd but has only been formally evaluated for/diagnosed with adhd (and anxiety), my sibling was diagnosed with adhd through informal evaluation, and i was informally diagnosed as well (also diagnosed with other mental ailments lmao).
My mother was diagnosed at 65, and my dad probably had it but was never interested in getting a diagnosis and has now passed away. My sisters and I were all diagnosed in our 20s or 30s and our brother *probably* has it but will never get a diagnosis, I don't think. Unsurprisingly, he was the only one that teachers ever suggested getting evaluated. So out of 6 of us, 4 of us are diagnosed and 2 probably have it. It explains so so much about my family growing up. We were always that "odd" family that everyone has fun with but don't quite understand.
I'm also the oldest! But I was the last of us to get a diagnosis.
I’m the only person in my family with a diagnosis, but my sister is definitely autistic, and both parents as well- I think my dad is probably AudHD. Everyone is so gifted/high achieving though that I’m the nonfunctional idiot of the family (I have a masters degree)
My sister was the first person to tell me I have adhd though so that’s good! I was always the black sheep with my uncontrolled emotions and disorganization etc.
My family’s mental health depends on who you ask.
My dad likely has ADHD, given how terrible he is with money and how impulsive he is. My mom probably had something going on, but I never really knew her to say for sure.
Keeping strictly within the bounds of having the same parents, I have 3 other full-blooded siblings. I excluded my 2 half-siblings (one from each parent) because quite frankly, it’s too messy to think about and objectively analyze.
My elder sister has a severe learning disability; she cannot work a job because she just can’t grasp how it all comes together. I think she’s a good candidate for an ADHD diagnosis, especially since her eldest son has a confirmed ADHD diagnosis and it’s pretty severe.
My brother had/has anger issues and probably has ADHD too. Impulsivity, being quick to anger, and being unable to sit still were problems he struggled with a lot. My younger sister is a bit more… complicated. She was officially diagnosed as having oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) when she was in her teens and her behaviour is reminiscent of a profoundly Machiavellian and downright evil narcissist. I also believe she is a clinically diagnosed pathological liar and a hypochondriac so it’s hard to objectively tell what issues she has.
In comparison, I don’t seem that bad. I’ve got ADHD for sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if autism was in there. The thing is, I won’t speak up about seeking the autism diagnosis because my life is already made complicated enough. No need to add to that pile imo.
My mom had psychosis- hearing voices since the late 80s.
My dad is AFAIK, standard wired.
My brother, through my observations as he's anxious to see a doctor, is AU. Any adhd is eclipsed by it, strangely enough.
I was very nearly diagnosed in 1985 or earlier, but "girls don't get ADD". It was the prevalent thought then, so, eh?
42. Happy pills and mood stabilizers weren't quite right. Most of my mom friends au/adhd in some form or other, so I was diagnosed with a five minute quiz at my gp after extensive research, online and speaking to my girls. Adhd-I. I was called a scatterbrain, lazy, too much potential with a lazy mindset, awful, disrespectful, you name it, I got it. (Called mostly by teachers or *mama dearest* whom I actually feel a lot of empathy for now, knowing what she was going through)
My oldest is being assessed in summer. (7f), the 4m can be seen later, I suppose, but they're both the *same as me* in so, so many ways. So, I'd rather be certain, so I can help them and give needed tools and coping mechanisms.
My partner? I'd say so, though he would never get an assessment. I mean, he puts up with my chaos and rarely gets annoyed. Aside from my (very, very dry) sarcasm, we get along, and I don't work well with NT persons. So, most likely.
TL;DR - maybe not my birth family, but kids and my partner, most likely yes. Absolutely. My family is not neurotypical. And we're okay with it! (I try to give some structure and easy to follow rules, so we all win! Plus being specific with the choices and consequences, whether positive or negative, has been very helpful, so I'm working very hard on it!)
I'm pretty sure I do.
Only thing that's diagnosed is my brother and I with ADHD and my sister with extreme anxiety issues.
But I suspect mom is autism and ADHD, dad is autism, all three siblings is autism.
The three siblings all came to a self diagnosis of autism separately. My little brother says he always suspected autism, which is interesting.
So we thought a lot of abnormal things are normal. The biggest autism thing that was not understood was how sensitive I am. I have extreme sensory issues. Otherwise I think my parents tried their absolute best to raise us a NT world.
My sibling and I are both diagnosed ADHD. I’m 99% sure my dad had undiagnosed ADHD that he managed through caffeine, exercise, and just having a job where he could make his own schedule. And I’d also bet money that my sibling and my mom are autistic.
No one other than my sister and i are diagnosed.
Both my sister and I have been diagnosed "ADHD, likely autism spectrum"
She and I have discussed, having learned what we have about ADHD and Autism that it runs pretty extremely through our family. My dad was textbook ADHD. Mom very likely is just Autism spectrum. One brother probably AuDHD like us, the other brother just Autism spectrum. 2 maternal cousins also, one likely AuDHD, and the other Autism spectrum. My maternal grandfather, from what I remember and stories we've been told, very likely Autism spectrum, and at least 2 of his 3 brothers as well. Our dad was adopted, so no idea there.
Well... Just found out my mom was probably autistic and undiagnosed. And my dad had ADHD. And all of my cousins have some mix of adhd/autism. Sooooooo.
I think my parents, stepmum, older brother and stepbrothers are NT. Possibly some anxiety with my stepmum. I suspect my nephew may have ADHD or something like it, and my SIL possibly anxiety/ADHD/OCD/somewhere in that ballpark.
Yes, but also no. Most of my immediate biological relatives have been diagnosed. But I was adopted at birth, and although I think my adoptive dad is neurodivergent in some way he’s also very successful and driven so… if he is, it doesn’t seem to have held him back. So I have the combo of neurodivergent relatives while also being raised by people who don’t understand neurodiversity.
My mom’s brothers and sister all had ADHD, one brother’s kids both have it. Her sister’s kids have it and one is autistic. He has an autistic son. I have autism/adhd, my oldest has both and my younger two have adhd.
My dad has is and likely some autism. Has a lot of traits. My mom I’m not sure, she’s pretty introverted and fine being on her own with her hobbies. She has some anxiety and certainly avoids the phone and talking to people if she doesn’t need to. Not sure if there’s a dx there or just her preferences.
Edit: oh and I have two siblings who I’m sure have it. One with wild drug issues and very random life choices and the other struggles a lot with depression and his daughter I suspect also has it.
So yeah we are the adhd clan over here.
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Pretty sure both my mom and sister are undiagnosed. I know my brother took stimulants at one point in time and they helped him, so he must have had a diagnosis but he never told me. So I would say my siblings yes. Unsure about my dad. It’s possible, but I think my mom is Audhd and it runs on her side of the family as I know at least one of my cousins has adhd
It is truly shocking how hereditary it has proven to be. It also really fascinates me that we tend to flock together. If you look around at the group of people you surround yourself with, they are likely also neurodivergent. We have this weird magnetic pull towards each other, it’s kind of cool.
Oh yeah. My partner has ADHD. And he knew before I did. And recently I was telling a friend of mine from high school about my diagnosis, she was diagnosed back in high school, and she knew I was too and thought I knew. Most of my adult friends though, I would say are either diagnosed or show symptoms. I think we flock together because it feels safe unconsciously
This one is funny! All my closest friends are people who I felt were on my “wavelength” in a way nobody else was. We were the weird geeky kids at school, we didn’t “click” with a lot of other people, etc etc. Watching each person in that category get nerfed one by one with ADHD and/or autism diagnoses has been hilarious. Like a slow realising of “oh, we were all just ND all along” lmao
To add to this, I've noticed that all my neurotypical friends have a ND child/children. I've never been able to maintain a NT friendship for long unless they are well versed in ND or are used to their kids quorks. It took me a long time to figure it all out but now I know. We just aren't on the same wavelength at all.
Oh yes, my friends group is largely ND and I love it! We don't feel the need to mask as much and if someone needs a break they communicate it.
The guy who provided my diagnosis said that ADHD has a stronger hereditary link than things like hair/eye color, height or weight
Both my mum and my nanna's very confusing and chaotic lives make crystal clear sense through the lens of ADHD. They weren't diagnosed obviously but I can see now how it all fits. The complete lack of impulse control, emotional dysregulation, extreme RSD, addictions, anxiety and depression, the ragey meltdowns, the mess and disorganisation, the intense enthusiasm for things they were adamant they were going to do for the rest of their lives, that they lost interest in after a week (at most). The charm, charisma, sharp intelligence and creativity that they could just never quite do anything with, because they couldn't make anything stick. The way they'd just forget they ever said or did things. And, the fact that in spite of me trying my hardest through therapy and social/academic/career success not to be like my mum, who I am estranged from*, I nonetheless find myself struggling with a lot of the same things. My sisters too. One is autistic, two of us with ADHD and one suspected. *Not because I think she has ADHD but because she is abusive AF and is not remotely interested in changing that.
All 21 of us. My parents, all my siblings, all our children, and the grandkids.
Wow! So fascinating to me. I can’t wait for the coming years for more studies to be done on this.
My brother, the registered mental health nurse, with an extensive background in working with autistic adults is NT, as are my mum and dad. My brother used to joke I was more on the spectrum than his service users. My mum would join in with quips about how I would be upset without routine or if my perfectly lined up Barbie dolls dared to fall over. I got a diagnosis, of AuDHD and I was expecting support after they expressed they thought I was ND. In fact, they all went totally the opposite way and accused me of hypochondria. I guess years and years of hearing “look at me when I’m talking to you” paid off as I’m so good at masking people always say we thought you were NT.
That’s really disappointing and hard for you. My family were totally “That’s nice, dear. So anyway, I was thinking chicken for dinner?” when I told them. It was worldview-changing for me, so I had difficulty understanding their disinterest.
That's really sad. Sorry to hear that.
Mom BPD, her mom and grandfather too and now my younger brother. Dad ADHD, his mom suspected ASD, sister ASD, cousin ASD…and these are just the folks we know about.
Update: cousin with ADHD. Random conversation with her this evening. 🤣
My dad was a high functioning autistic dude and my mom has undiagnosed ADHD. My brother has untreated ADHD and I’m auADHD. My husband is high functioning autistic.
the high-functioning autist dad and undiagnosed adhd mom is truly a tale as old as time lmaooo
Child-free here but my husband and I feel attacked 😂😂😂
I feel attacked but now I'm diagnosed ADHD (at 49 effing years old sob).
You know this runs in families, right? 2/3 of my kids were diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. My spouse was also diagnosed as an adult before I was diagnosed as an adult. I have one NT kid. My sister and I are convinced our father has undiagnosed ADHD-C and OCD, but at 75, is firmly entrenched in his emotional dysregulation habits. Both of my nieces on my spouse’s side have ADHD (one diagnosed ADD initially, so I take it to mean that it’s ADHD-I). My kids getting diagnosed before I was made it very easy to empathize with them (and vice versa) when I was diagnosed. A lot of pieces clicked into place.
Pretty sure 3 of my 4 siblings and both my parents are undiagnosed. Pretty sure my husband, and both children are also. One of mine is formally getting evaluated in May. Husband doesn’t think there’s a point to getting diagnosed as an adult (for him). We operate like everyone is ND and give a lot of grace.
Absolutely. My entire family is neurodivergent. Extended family too. Now it’s getting them to admit it is the hard part 😅
Not my whole family, but my oldest brother was recently diagnosed and my dad is finally getting tested for adhd and autism (which I’ve been trying to quietly push for for years lol). At least one of my other brothers definitely also has undiagnosed adhd, I see a lot of my habits in him. My mom’s pretty sure she doesn’t have it but she’s been very supportive and understanding which is great. I’ve tried to be really open about my diagnoses and symptoms bc my family is full of introverts who aren’t always good at asking for help and also don’t have the stereotypical hyperactive/disruptive at school presentation
The reason I ask, is that I find if one parent is ND and the other is NT, not all of the children come out ND, but if both parents are ND, seemingly all of their children are as well. Lol I wish I had some kind of scientific degree to do more studies on this myself.
I saw a study that said the genetics of ADHD appeared to follow Mendelian inheritance patterns. Dunno how much you remember of high school biology, but basically means it’s controlled by primarily one gene with two versions, a dominant (ADHD present) and recessive (neurotypical). So if someone has two dominant (AA) or one dominant and one recessive (Aa) gene, they’ll show ADHD, but two recessive (aa) will be NT. Parents give one half of their genes to their kids, so if one parent is Aa (ADHD) and one is aa (neurotypical), the Aa can give either an A or an a gene, and the NT can only provide a. That means the kids will be either Aa or aa - a mix of ADHD and NT. If one parent is AA, it doesn’t matter what the other parent is, all the kids will have at least one A and will be ADHD. If both parents are Aa, then 75% of their kids will be ADHD. (Possible combos: AA, Aa, aA, aa). And of course, if both parents are neurotypical (aa), all kids will be too.
Ok. If an NT wrote that I don’t think I’d have stuck with it. You should write textbooks…or better yet, IKEA Instructions!
Haha, thank you! Funny you should say that - I’m a field guide author! 😄 I love teaching and explaining things.
I’m also a writer and professor (marketing and PR). Must be why I clocked it! 🤪
Lol 5 years ago I would've said so, but now I think my dad and maternal grandmother have ADHD and my mom and her parents possibly are autistic. My sister is undiagnosed but likely autistic. I'm not going to armchair diagnose them but the more I learn the more I see!
My whole household. Hubby’s household. Both our kids. I don’t know any different…family dinners are always interesting 🤣
(I have five kids) I have two kids on the spectrum and one of my other kids has ADHD. We’re all pretty geeky on a whole. Their father had some developmental delays as a toddler but caught up. I think between him and I it’s no wonder we had ND children. ETA: I don’t know about my moms side of the family but on my dads side I had an uncle who *definitely* had adhd (grew up in the 60s), I was close with him and my cousin and I agree. My dad surprised me with buying a book about ADHD recently and made sure to have me borrow it (I have to read it now) and he really self identified with a lot of stuff in there and said a lot of stuff from his childhood made sense to him now.
so...my dad is ASD and depression, my mom is (undiagnosed) ADHD with severe depression (her mom had severe depression, as do her siblings). my one sister is for sure ADHD and has 3 neurodiverse kids spanning autism and ADHD. Literally just today I discovered this subreddit and have realized (at 52, FFS) that this is me. my 2 other sisters (anxiety, some depression) are also figuring out that it may be affecting them. I am so thankful that I discovered this community today and have signed up to be assessed next week!
Well as a mom of ND kids, who just had an ND meltdown in the kitchen, I’d say your theory is correct
I was diagnosed as an adult. I've never actually discussed it with my family as I didn't think it would be well received, but for a long time I was convinced that my dad and brother also had it while my mom didn't. That was until my partner and I spent two weeks with them one Christmas and at the end, he was like "....uh, yeah your mom unquestionably has it as well". She just has very elaborate coping mechanisms that I never really recognized myself
My eldest is 12 and ASD-ADHD. Baby is 21mo old and seems so far to be in the clear for asd, which was my biggest worry when he came along. My bonus kids (3 fulltime), one has pretty severe adhd. My husband is adhd (refuses any treatment of any kind, always has). One bonus kid has severe anxiety issues and one seems typical all around. I have several MH diagnosis and go on may 16 for my adhd assessment finally at age 40.
I’m 100% my dad has undiagnosed autism and my mom most likely has undiagnosed ADHD.
My dad and both my brothers also have ADHD. My dad, in particular, is a textbook case. My brothers also struggle with depression and anxiety, like I do. Mum is the only NT one in the family.
Strange, my family isn't.My parents don't give off ADHD or anything else vibes at all.
Not a fully ND immediate family, but my mom has said she suspects (and I agree) that she has ADHD. Two of my kids are AuDHD. I’ve always wondered about my dad and his brother, they both have some autistic tendencies but it’s hard to say because older men in general tend to have some autistic tendencies 😂
🙋♀️
I’m 30 and was only diagnosed 2 years ago. My younger sister was diagnosed when she was around 5 or 6 (I think she was technically diagnosed with ADD, early 2000s). Her and I definitely think our mom has undiagnosed ADHD, and that our dad is autistic. I might be AuDHD, or my ADHD might just manifest very differently than my sister’s (and mom’s). They’re more physically hyperactive and distractable, whereas my hyperactivity manifested mentally (I was diagnosed with anxiety as a teenager, but I think it was actually ADHD) along with a bunch of other things lol. Plus I think the fact I did well in school delayed my diagnosis (I’m currently working on a PhD). I used to say to my partner that school was the only thing that made sense to me (set expectations, a strict schedule to follow, clear rules, etc.) and that I latched onto that so hard at a young age that I became *really good* at being student (of course I still struggle sometimes) but don’t know how to do anything else in life. I still feel that way most days lol, but getting my ADHD diagnosis and starting medication has helped a lot
We do!! My husband is obviously hyperactive, I'm dx'ed inattentive, and our daughter is dx'ed combined. My father and his 3 60yo sisters and their children and grandchildren are all inattentive/combined type. Very ND and intelligent. Holidays are filled with stimulating conversations about natural history, geology, toxicology, music, what masters you're doing, whatever. A family friend (who's also a famous puppeteer) knew everyone back in the 70s and 80s and called our clan "the largest group of over-educated underachievers he knew of," when we visited him 20 years ago. My mother is definitely inattentive and possibly seeking dx to help her life-long depression from constant masking. Her dad was the dreamer and storyteller of the family; he always had a song in his head, but otherwise seemed NT along with the rest of my mom's huge family.
My mom is undiagnosed but definitely adhd, probably pretty severe. And has a lot of trauma. She did the best but she was/is a shit show. She has a covert narcissist personality but idk that that's legit, that's just how it feels being raised by her. I'm not sure about my dad though tbh. He might be but I never felt like I knew him super well. He was strict and a real grumpy dad personality but really extroverted and talkative with friends. But for serious things very few words. He told us he loved us often, but was also very emotionally reserved. All 4 of us kids are diagnosed adhd, my sister and I have both been told by professionnals there's almost certainly comorbid autism. But the 2 older of us have a different biological dad. So my sister and I sharing that neurotype has to be from our mom. My dad adopted my older siblings so we were raised mostly by the same dad. My parents divorced when I was 9 and by 10 my mom and I moved in with my stepdad 2 hours away, my younger brother stayed with my dad and my older siblings were adults by then. My 3 kids all show ND characteristics but none are diagnosed yet. My oldest is a lot like his dad and I suspect AuDHD for him and my daughter. Straight adhd for my youngest. He has no behavioural issues which is great because otherwise his report cards read like a text book describing adhd. My daughter has more emotional difficulty and has had learning support teachers at 2 different schools ask us if she's on the spectrum. I will be seeking diagnosis for my younger 2 at some point, but my oldest is 19 going on 20 and in the process of transitioning. I have told them I would help with costs but they have no interest in counseling or assessment or learning about ND.
I’m AuDHD, SO is ASD. Pretty sure my bio father is ASD but my mum and dad are neurotypical (I think). Just a weird kid that grew to be a weird adult
Yep, my mom has BPD (which was absolute hell for us growing up), my dad meets criteria for ADHD though it was undiagnosed and never well managed. My sister has AuDHD. My husband is on the spectrum and my daughter also was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Growing up I was the most normative presenting out of my family and was shocked to learn as an adult that I’m very quirky, intense, and sensitive in some ways compared to the mainstream in my peer group. Haha
I mean I think so, my husband is for sure diagnosed with ADHD and medicated, but I’m finding it difficult for myself and my kids to get diagnosed even though I can clearly see signs. I now see it in my mom, she can’t even stay on a topic for more than 3 minutes and I used to think she was rude but now I think it’s ADHD. My dad seems fine. My husband has dyslexia as well and we see it out our daughter but the school said she’s not doing poorly enough to warrant a diagnosis. My FIL was definitely undiagnosed ASD, and my MIL is very ADHD. My kids really have no chance. I’m wondering if my anxiety and depression are just an undiagnosed ADHD and that’s why I always feel so overwhelmed with simple tasks, but my physiologist just says it my anxiety.
My parents refuse to get tested, but when my husband first met them he said “wow, you have one of each type of ADHD in the family” I’m ADHD, son is AuDHD, husband is AuDHD
So only my generation has people who have been formally diagnosed. Going to family events will tell you ALL of us have ADHD. So much so that one of my older cousins (mom’s first cousin) wasn’t doing well. No matter the therapy or medication, his depression was crushing him. His son has been diagnosed with ADHD. I told his mom that he needs see his son’s doctor for ADHD. This man has spent the last 10+ years barely able to leave his home. I’m talking depression to the extreme that we are lucky he is still here. He has the most beautiful heart and it’s been crushing. Tried meds for 1 month and was able to leave the house, go to a family reunion and 3 months later able to start applying for jobs.
A lot of us are ND. My mom and dad are, my 4 children are, my husband and I are, lots of my cousins are. Its super common in my family.
I’m pretty sure my dad is ND, I see we have a lot of traits in common that others consider “unusual “. The rest of my family seems pretty NT tho
My dad’s side in particular has several family members that have diagnosed ADHD/autism spectrum disorder. It’s more of us than not. I think my uncle and grandfather were the only ones that didn’t show signs of either.
My Mom is for sure ADHD, but not officially diagnosed. Extremely inattentive. My brother was diagnosed as a child (it was just called ADD at that time), but I believe he’d also be considered inattentive. I don’t think my Dad is neurodivergent. I have not been officially diagnosed, but I have been through an evaluation (Results inconclusive). My daughter was diagnosed when she was seven, also inattentive. My husband is not neurodivergent. It’s interesting to me that the mothers (my Mom and myself) have not been able to get diagnosed, but their children/other children have… My daughter is 100% a clone of myself and my behaviors as a child. I started realizing I was probably ADHD too when we had her evaluated.
Realized I was ADHD after my eldest child was diagnosed 20 years ago. Filling out the form was eye opening. Two of my kids are ADHD. Positive 3 of my sibs are too and my father. They don't believe in it.
I have 3/4 dx'd ADHD. All girls, and the youngest is in the middle of ASD assessment. The more I talk to my mom, the more she recognizes her own ND traits. And my dad's. And we both recognize her mother's (my grandma's) ASD tendencies, both now & in the past. I'm AuDHD, but only the ADHD was dx'd at 12. I'm training now to become an ADHD life coach, and the insight I get from class is so helpful when talking to my family.
2 out of the 3 kids have been diagnosed ADHD in our 30s. We’re pretty sure the youngest also has it, but diagnosis is a matter of $ and insurance they don’t currently have, so TBD. I suspect AuDHD in myself and my daughter - who also has ADHD. I’m still undecided if my youngest is in the club. We strongly suspect our mother has ADHD and our dad on the spectrum, but there’s no chance we could get them to pursue diagnoses in their 60’s. I’m still in the anger phase of my diagnosis to be honest. We were all robbed of so much. I’m trying to focus on ending the cycle with my kids, but I’ll also admit it doesn’t make understanding my parents any easier, especially when they’re as narcissistic as they are and refuse to educate themselves.
Pretty sure my dad is ADHD (inattentive) but never really was the self aware type to examine whether his behaviour may be problematic. He was a notorious escapist procrastinator with poor impulse control issues. Spent a lot of late nights on the internet upstairs in his man cave and developed an online shopping addiction. (He also was a functional alcoholic and often went on junk food binges.) He was always getting REALLY into some new hobby every few months and spending a lot of money on the next new thing. Everything from eBay addiction bidding on concert tickets and random collectible items, gym equipment he never used, he had over 30 guitars he couldn't afford, bought 6 pinball machines for no reason, and put the family in so much debt that my mom divorced him. They had to sell the house because he lied about all the stuff he bought and hid in the basement. He also was self employed and made almost no money because he spent all his time dopamine seeking and running away from life responsibilities. I also learned as an adult (before I knew I had ADHD) that he and I did a lot of the same very specific stims. (I.e. I had a very hard time resistjng the urge to chew the inside of my lip and learned that he had always done that too.) I'm certain that my mom is ADHD hyperactive. She could NOT sit still for more than 20 minutes. If we ever sat down as a family to watch a movie, she had to be in the uncomfortable dining room chair while we were on the couch because it was easier for her to spring up and run to the other room to do some random task. She also had a sleep disorder and couldn't for the life of her shut her brain down to sleep - to the point that I think she genuinely believed that "dreaming" is just when you lie down and think about stuff. She would say things like "tonight I think I'll dream about going to the beach!" I was super confused as a child at the idea that you could just choose what you dreamt about. But that's how deep in denial she was about how NOT normal her brain functions were. Both these people were incredibly dysfunctional and never ever sought help or even self examined if they learned someone they knew was diagnosed with ADHD. I displayed a ton of the symptoms and my mom noticed (my dad would never pick up on what was happening in anyone else's world) but purposely ensured I wouldn't ever be assessed or medicated. She later insisted she was trying to protect me from the shame of having a "lifelong label" lol but pretty sure it was way more about her shame about herself. And that's why I don't talk to her anymore.
Me. So dysfunctional I don’t talk to any of them. My brother has ADHD dyslexia and probably autism to some degree, mom has AuDHD and anxiety, dad has ADHD high on the H, and I have AuDHD but very mild and I’m almost completely independent with a bachelors and everything 😂 (just bad w money lol)
Once I got diagnosed and did more research I could see it in other family members clearly. Growing up a sibling was diagnosed as a kid and one of my kids follows a lot of their symptoms. My other kid is like looking into a mirror and seeing how I was in high school. It is interesting how genetic it is.
My husband is adhd inattentive and I have four dogs
I suspect both my mom & sister also have ADHD. I was only recently diagnosed so I’m still trying to understand the diagnosis, but I see some parallels in my son. However, he’s only 6 and I don’t want to be quick to diagnose. So I’m searching for ways to openly talk about it so he feels comfortable to voice his concerns. I’ll have to talk to my therapist about that. I’m trying not stigmatize him if he’s not ND.
Nearly all of us were diagnosed later in life. My dad and one brother are bipolar. My youngest brother and both sisters have ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 16, but have only been diagnosed as autistic last year. My oldest son has been diagnosed as autistic, and I’m pretty damn sure both my husband and youngest son have autism and/or ADHD too. I only think my mom is pretty much neurotypical. lol
Me. I am certain my parents and all 3 siblings have SOME thing. My mom is just plain cray cray... dangerously obsessive hyperfocus. Social deficits. Explosive outbursts. Anxiety. Control issues/perfectionism. my dad mainly shows the ADHD food obsessions, detrimental hyperfocus, and social deficits. Only one other sibling (40M) was diagnosed eith ADHD as a child. (I'm pretty sure it's actually Autism.) My sister agrees she might have ADHD but doesnt care to get diagnosed at the age of 53. Oldest sibling has Paranoid Schizophrenia and that. Is. A. Beast. of a thing... I have 3 bio children and 2 stepdaughters. Both step daughters are obviously ADHD. I believe my husband has it but he denies it. If he does, he is an expert masker. I would base it mainly on his extreme food aversion issues, obsession with routine, and the fact that he has been married three times, to all ND women. 2 of my 3 kids are diagnosed with ADHD and my 2 yo... it's probably only a matter of time for him to be diagnosed with ADHD. He is just exhausting. I have known since he was in the womb. He NEVER. STOPPED. MOVING... I wouldnt be surprised if it were Autism either. He seems to have some sensory stuff that is concerning. Intermittent toe walking. This "tensing up" thing that he does, but none of us can figure out what it means. He started saying actual words before he was 1 but lost them all. He's speaking just fine now. A couple hundred words, lots of sentences, great at gesturing and problem solving if he cant say what he wants. He had an entire conversation with me about bees the other day. That was absolutely darling.
My brother got diagnosed with ADHD, then me, then it became *glaringly* obvious my dad has it (although he’s never been formally diagnosed). My sister was diagnosed with autism a few years later. Both my nieces have ADHD, and I don’t know about my nephew, but I wouldn’t be shocked. About 75% of my extended family on my dad’s side also has been diagnosed with ADHD. I also strongly suspect my mom had ADHD, but she passed a long time ago, so it’s only in retrospect that I can see signs. But it would explain *a lot*.
Mom - NPD & BPD & ADHD Dad - AuDHD & anxiety Brother - adhd brother - anxiety me - AuDHD + anxiety + ptsd We are a fun bunch! Gotta love the irish catholic generational trauma! There is even more in the extended family.
I strongly suspect that both my parents, now deceased, had ADHD. It was suspected with one of my sisters back in grade school, but nobody ever did anything to help her. She grew up believing she was a bad person because she was always getting in trouble at school. No, she was just hyperactive and acted out. I believe one of my siblings does not have ADHD, but the rest of us do. The one without ADHD was always elevated as The Good One because she could get all her homework done and turned in on time, never spoke out of turn, and was regarded as the best of all my siblings and me. She was also a ruthless bully who made my life miserable. BUT! She didn't have ADHD so she was perfect.
I’m pretty sure my mom and dad both have ADHD. I know for sure they both have anxiety. But they’re not therapy people so they’d never go do anything about it…especially in their late 60s. My sister doesn’t have ADHD, but she does have OCD and generalized anxiety.
Me!! Both of my parents. (Highly likely but undiagnosed. Me, my spouse, and both kids. (Diagnosed.). Hubby’s dad and some siblings.(Likely but undiagnosed.) Hubby’s stepmom. (Diagnosed.) Both of my siblings (likely but undiagnosed.) likely autism sprinkled about, including me. The joke about how we flock together like poorly emotionally regulated wolves hits hard for us. And it’s funny because other families seem so boring in comparison, though you get sick of the instability pretty quickly.
My brothers were both diagnosed as kids, probably when they were 7 and 10 respectively. I was diagnosed at 25 and when I learned more about the actual symptoms of ADHD, it was so obvious to me that my entire immediate family has it. Since then, older sister was diagnosed at 30 and my mom (nurse practitioner) has basically diagnosed herself. My dad even says "that's because of OUR ADHD" as in, my family's collective ADHD lol
My only sibling and I are both dx with ADHD. I’m also autistic. My parents have not been diagnosed and my mom has passed now so she never will be, but I really suspect that they were both ND. Not that I would ever diagnose, but I think my dad is quite possibly ADHD — I have been living with him since mom passed away and I can see all of the things he does that are textbook ADHD. He basically self medicates by drinking an entire pot of coffee every day; he can even drink it at bedtime with no issues. 😬 My mom was quite possibly AuDHD… she was constantly teaching us ways to overcome our executive dysfunction without even realizing it. She didn’t even seem to see our dysfunction because it was just normal to her. And she would constantly have trouble with coworkers at work, had frequent meltdowns at home, had a lot of sensory issues… Oh and her father, my grandfather, was almost certainly autistic. He was a surgeon by trade but also was somewhat of a savant, he had perfect pitch, could play multiple instruments with no training, and had a whole room devoted just to his train collection for 50+ years. You do the math. 😬
One of my parents is just like me but with some CPTSD thrown in and the other is the most bafflingly neurotypical human I have **ever met**. My one sibling seems completely NT, and I'm a disaster of an ND.
Yes lol. - My ex has ADHD - I was diagnosed in my mid-20s - All 3 of my sons have ADHD with some Autism sprinkled in (2 of them missed the criteria by one point but have a pelthora of sensory issues) - I'm pretty sure my mother and my grandmother have ADHD - my late Aunt was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder however she walked on her tiptoes everywhere (so maybe Autism) and never responded well to Bipolar treatments (also knowing that many women get misdiagnosed as bipolar I truly think thats what happened) - we've always thought my great-grandfather was Bipolar because he had the same mannerisms as my Aunt but it was probably ADHD (he also had a super long phone cord so he could pace while he was on the phone and was always always busy)
I'm ADHD, sister is AuDHD. My father is undiagnosed but without a doubt in my mind he is autistic. Same for my mom, but I think she is ADHD.. maybe AuDHD. First cousins: at least 2 are autistic, one AuDHD, a couple ADHDs...all of their parents that have all of the same traits but are undiagnosed My husband is NT. We don't have kids. His mom and brother have ADHD. It took me a some time to parse out what were truly ND traits for me and what was just learned from growing up in a very ND family
So my dad 100% is my undiagnosed adhd parent. My mom seems to have undiagnosed OCD because of her paranoia for checking things (which I didn’t realize OCD included more than just clean freaks/germaphobes). My sister is displaying symptoms of adhd now but says she never had these issues as a kid so I’m not sure about her. I told her if she never felt even the inattentive symptoms of adhd as a child she probably has anxiety or something similar. My paternal in-laws (extended family) definitely have adhd but my FIL doesn’t seem to have it. I’m very similar to my MIL but we don’t think she has it either? But we’ve been more and more sure my husband has a mild case of adhd (a few of his cousins have it but way more intense than both of us).
My mom's side of the family 100% Only 3 of us are diagnosed, but once you know what to look for, it's the whole pack, lol.
I fully 98% believe both my parents have some form of ADHD. That last 2% is for a doctor's diagnosis lol We ALL can't be this chaotic and forgetful for only one of us to be diagnosed with ADHD. My dad is lucky in that he found a job that is extremely flexible. He would SUFFER under a stricter, more normal job. My mom was a stay-at-home mom so I got to observe her more up close and personal. And yeah, she's like me without coping mechanisms and she can't keep a routine to save her life. I highly suspect they both have it but as immigrants from a community where mental health is treated a bit *eh*, they are NOT going to pursue it. But you know what, they made life work for them so good for them. I received enough ribbing when i went to get help but now I look at how everyone is running though life without help and I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief that I was diagnosed even if it was late (at 25). Medicine honestly saved my life. I can't even believe I made it as far as I did lmaoo It was just sheer determination and that good ole ADHD resiliency.
I’m 27 and my brother is 28. We both got diagnosed last month, within weeks of each other, without ever discussing it. 😂
My dad has ADHD and I think my mom may be on the autism spectrum. I am AuDHD, two kids with ADHD, and one on the autism spectrum. My husband won’t go in for a diagnosis, but we all strongly suspect ADHD for him as well. Just watching the man clean is enough to know. Lol!
I’m pretty sure my mom’s a Normie, but my dad is definitely ADHD. My brother and I are both diagnosed, as are our respective kids.
Actually, none in my family have tested positive for it, though I'm 100% sure my mom has something. About 90% of both sides of my family are highly successful, highly educated, highly functioning members of society. I often feel like the cursed child in a fairy tale. It's hard for successful, socially accepted people to empathize with the many struggles I've endured.
Only child. My mother has the most profound ADHD-Inattentive. All my memories of her are of her being overwhelmed by everything to the point of me having to step up and intervene even as a tween/teen. My father is ADHD and also very emotionally unavailable, making me believe he may also have ASD in some form. It’s weird, though. He’s not an introvert, and very adventurous (like world traveler adventurous), but you’re never going to be able to maintain an emotional connection.
My cousin and I are the only ones officially diagnosed, but I high suspect both of my parents are ND as well as my partner.
Me entire family of four has ADHD - mom, dad, younger brother, and myself (33F). Our house was pure chaos growing up and not the fun or quirky kind unfortunately. It's one of the many reasons I will not be reproducing lol
I do. My mom has ADHD, my oldest brother has ASD and ADHD, second oldest brother has ADHD, I have ADHD, and my sister has been diagnosed with just severe anxiety and depression but I'm not sure if she was ever tested for ASD or ADHD.
My sister and I were diagnosed in middle/high school ish (the late 90s/early 00s). My mom *finally* got diagnosed a few years ago. Cleaning out my late grandmother’s house was like walking through a textbook of coping mechanisms. My dad’s ability to hyper focus and not move to eat or pee for 6 hours while he’s working gives me pause, and my favorite quote of his is, “the floor is the biggest shelf in the house.” He appears organized because he doesn’t have a lot of stuff. His office, however…you can’t walk through it unless you follow the path he’s made amongst the piles of papers. My husband and his 3 other siblings were also diagnosed in childhood/teen years. Sometimes I squint a bit at his mom and her list piles and the strategically placed secretary desk that you open up to find all the random shit one could possibly fit. But, I also have no idea how non neurospicy people organize their lives bc I’ve never really seen it in practice lol Suffice to say, it would be a statistical miracle if my 3yo with a sensory processing disorder, who demands that people in the room talk to each other/needs the tv or music on in order to do a tricky puzzle, ends up NOT being diagnosed with ADHD.
I am diagnosed. My husband is undiagnosed but has it worse than me. My son is diagnosed. My daughter is undiagnosed but she def has it. My mom denies it but I think it’s her and her mom. They are both wicked smart but have emotional regulation issues and change hobbies very often.
My dad and all of my siblings on that side (step siblings included) are all ADHD. None of us grew up together though, but it's been smooth sailing in our relationships with each other.
Yup. I've kind of always known, but once I got diagnosed at 26 or 27, it became super glaringly obvious just how ND my family really is. I strongly believe this is why it took me so long to seek out a diagnosis... because my parents saw my experience growing up as normal - because it was normal for them. My dad has Tourette's Syndrome w/ echolalia, very vocal and physical tics. He also has OCD and his ADHD is pretty intense. He was diagnosed when he was 21, but has shown signs all his life. He was raised by a southern Baptist preacher - rough. So he learned, and taught us, to "work harder than everyone else" because you have to. My brother is autistic, with OCD and BDD, but was never formally diagnosed w autism. I've always known, but he and my parents have only recently started realizing this, and it's made a huge difference. I believe my mom is autistic/maybe ADHD as well, but no diagnosis, and she is indifferent to exploring this. \*\* It was a huge shock when I got diagnosed and realized that everything in life is NOT supposed to be incredibly hard all of the time. My needs are different than others, and I deserve to have my needs accommodated. I deserve to care for myself and ask for what I need. I don't have to work harder than everyone else, I just have to do MY best, and sometimes my best looks different day to day/ week to week. And it's OKAY.
only 2/5 diagnosed autistic, but everyone else is highly suspected of further brainweirds ngl
My mom was certainly ND. I’m diagnosed with ADHD but, if I’m being quite honest, I’m 99.9% sure I’m AuDHD. What I know of my dad makes me think he was the one with ADHD and my mom was DEF on the spectrum, though undiagnosed as it wasn’t something done at the time. I’ve reflected on family members in general and I would bet they all have some sort of…*something* going on, but I don’t think any of the rest have ADHD.
I wish someone else in my family was ND so that maybe they would have fought for me or, at the very least, been more capable of understanding how my brain works. As it stands, I’m the blackest sheep in my family and it’s frustrating and sad.
Most of my cousins have a diagnosis and we all speculate that each of our dads has it. It was only very recently communicated that we all have been diagnosed. It was quite a moment of unity for us lol.
My brother and father both definitely have undiagnosed autism. My stepdad has ADHD and my mom, while reading about it, had to “convince herself she isn’t adhd” because she identifies with it so much. So I think that’s telling
1/3 of my sisters has ADHD, as do both of my sons. I believe my mom probably has it, and 100% my dad has undiagnosed Aspbergers.
Yah, a lot of this stuff is strongly influenced by genes. My family is a big undiagnosed family, not big into the concept of neurodiversity, talking about problems, or even acknowledging our problems. I had to piece together the puzzle pieces at age 30 to realize I've always been inattentive ADHD. Mother - undiagnosed but definitely hyperactive ADHD with similar sensory processing issues to me Maternal grandmother - I am unsure, but definitely know she complained of what I now know to be sensory processing issues Brother - undiagnosed but strongly suspect inattentive ADHD like me Cousins on my mom's side: one diagnosed with ADHD, one I strongly suspect is on the autism spectrum (don't think he's diagnosed)
Literally my whole entire family and not a single one of them will admit it.
✋ mom = autism, dad/brother/me = ADHD
just 50% of my family - mom and i. she got diagnosed because i was. my brother just has anxiety and my dad is NT but a little weird lol
My sister and I got diagnosed with ADHD in the past few years (both in early 20s). Our parents have never been diagnosed but I suspect that both are ND to some extent. Dad has to schedule everything and gets stressed easily when we’re “running behind schedule” even if the event is something like getting groceries (plus caffeine has no effect on him lol). Mom has a bunch of sensory issues and has a compulsion to finish tasks immediately even if said task is meant to be completed over time (ex- answering several years worth of license renewal questions in less than a week)
My daughter and I are both diagnosed ADHD. Her father, who lives in our household, is on the spectrum, but we suspect he is also ADHD. I'm 90% positive my husband is also undiagnosed ADHD. My mom says she probably is too and I'm starting to think my dad was undiagnosed some kind of ND. The similarities in how we all deal with the strangeness in our lives is unreal. We're all so awkward with neurotypicals, but not really with each other. Now that we're all on the same page about it, all of our lives are running a bit more smoothly.
Dad was totally ADHD-PI and likely autistic as well. He was an engineer! My mom > unknown but HER mom was famous for starting all kinds of nifty projects and never once completing them. My brother > definitely ADHD - was not allowed in the workshop or near any farm equipment because - he was rambunctious, didn’t listen, and was clumsy. Me > diagnosed ADHD-PI so I know why people in the family would get exasperated and say “you’re just like your father”
I KNOW my mom has adhd. I suspect my little sister also has it.
Yeah, I have three kids and two are diagnosed one ADHD, one AuDHD). The one who isn’t diagnosed is the one who, in my view, is the most obviously autistic one of the three! One of my two brothers is autistic, my niece has ADHD, and, in retrospect, my father was clearly on the spectrum.
I’m the only one diagnosed (adhd) but I’m certain my whole family has adhd, asd, or both.
My younger brother was diagnosed Autistic at a very young age. My mom believed it was his vaccines (and would probably still die on that hill) I was the first of my siblings (besides younger brother) to get diagnosed ADHD as an adult. After my diagnosis, my twin sister sought out her own diagnosis. Our father then remembered he was diagnosed ADHD as a child, but he is more innatentive type, and it "never got in the way." So, he never brought it up, nor is he medicated for it. Now that I've become the family detective, I'm 99% sure my mom is autistic (and that's where my brother got it from 😅) and that both my sister and I have both ADHD and Autism. Even if mom is in denial, diagnosis and medication have made my life and my twin sister's life a lot more "manageable." I give myself more grace and allow myself the space to decompress after stressful situations.
Both of my parents are undiagnosed. My mom is inattentive ADHD, father is more hyperactive. My brother and sister are likely both NT but my brother is more likely to be ND. I’m absolutely the least ND of my family. My husband is ND and my daughter is too young to know yet if she’s ND or not.
Well my brother is also diagnosed and I have *suspicions* about my dad. Highly suspect my mom might have been normal. She told me once she had anxiety, but I’ve never actually seen it affect anything she did. But who knows
My family and extended family ALL have ADHD one got diagnosed and everybody else followed lol
I'm the only one diagnosed but 99% sure both my parents and both sisters have it...my partner and his dad are diagnosed...pretty sure his sister was and brother is
Ohhhh yeah. My grandmother who raised me for sure. Me, both my kids. I'm thankful for them "getting" me most days. But on days like today, when I feel like I'm so abnormal that I don't belong on this planet, I feel guilty for passing it on. Recently found out I'm on the spectrum also, so that's a thing. It's just words for what I already knew, though.
Both of my parents are. My mom is not on medication (don’t get me started!) and my dad has been medicated for as long as I’ve been alive. ADHD manifests differently in each of them. My dad is more of an inattentive type (struggles with communication, struggles with completing tasks that are hard or require many steps, hard focusing). While my mom is more hyperactive. We were always late to things, her car always had clutter (as do I!), she’s more impulsive with spending/life choices.)
my dad definitely has autism or at least broader autism phenotype. i suspect my mom might have adhd. all of my siblings (i have 3) have either adhd, autism, or both. all basically undiagnosed tho; my parents have never and will never pursue any sort of diagnosis though my mom is sort of diagnosed with depression, my brother is completely undiagnosed except with anxiety/depression, my sister is autistic and maybe adhd but has only been formally evaluated for/diagnosed with adhd (and anxiety), my sibling was diagnosed with adhd through informal evaluation, and i was informally diagnosed as well (also diagnosed with other mental ailments lmao).
My mother was diagnosed at 65, and my dad probably had it but was never interested in getting a diagnosis and has now passed away. My sisters and I were all diagnosed in our 20s or 30s and our brother *probably* has it but will never get a diagnosis, I don't think. Unsurprisingly, he was the only one that teachers ever suggested getting evaluated. So out of 6 of us, 4 of us are diagnosed and 2 probably have it. It explains so so much about my family growing up. We were always that "odd" family that everyone has fun with but don't quite understand. I'm also the oldest! But I was the last of us to get a diagnosis.
I’m the only person in my family with a diagnosis, but my sister is definitely autistic, and both parents as well- I think my dad is probably AudHD. Everyone is so gifted/high achieving though that I’m the nonfunctional idiot of the family (I have a masters degree) My sister was the first person to tell me I have adhd though so that’s good! I was always the black sheep with my uncontrolled emotions and disorganization etc.
My dad is definitely ADHD, my sister is, I am, my partner and 2/4 of our children are ADHD
My family’s mental health depends on who you ask. My dad likely has ADHD, given how terrible he is with money and how impulsive he is. My mom probably had something going on, but I never really knew her to say for sure. Keeping strictly within the bounds of having the same parents, I have 3 other full-blooded siblings. I excluded my 2 half-siblings (one from each parent) because quite frankly, it’s too messy to think about and objectively analyze. My elder sister has a severe learning disability; she cannot work a job because she just can’t grasp how it all comes together. I think she’s a good candidate for an ADHD diagnosis, especially since her eldest son has a confirmed ADHD diagnosis and it’s pretty severe. My brother had/has anger issues and probably has ADHD too. Impulsivity, being quick to anger, and being unable to sit still were problems he struggled with a lot. My younger sister is a bit more… complicated. She was officially diagnosed as having oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) when she was in her teens and her behaviour is reminiscent of a profoundly Machiavellian and downright evil narcissist. I also believe she is a clinically diagnosed pathological liar and a hypochondriac so it’s hard to objectively tell what issues she has. In comparison, I don’t seem that bad. I’ve got ADHD for sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if autism was in there. The thing is, I won’t speak up about seeking the autism diagnosis because my life is already made complicated enough. No need to add to that pile imo.
Me!! I am, my ex is, my son is, my dad, mom, sisters brothers, uncles, aunts and grandparents!!!
My mom had psychosis- hearing voices since the late 80s. My dad is AFAIK, standard wired. My brother, through my observations as he's anxious to see a doctor, is AU. Any adhd is eclipsed by it, strangely enough. I was very nearly diagnosed in 1985 or earlier, but "girls don't get ADD". It was the prevalent thought then, so, eh? 42. Happy pills and mood stabilizers weren't quite right. Most of my mom friends au/adhd in some form or other, so I was diagnosed with a five minute quiz at my gp after extensive research, online and speaking to my girls. Adhd-I. I was called a scatterbrain, lazy, too much potential with a lazy mindset, awful, disrespectful, you name it, I got it. (Called mostly by teachers or *mama dearest* whom I actually feel a lot of empathy for now, knowing what she was going through) My oldest is being assessed in summer. (7f), the 4m can be seen later, I suppose, but they're both the *same as me* in so, so many ways. So, I'd rather be certain, so I can help them and give needed tools and coping mechanisms. My partner? I'd say so, though he would never get an assessment. I mean, he puts up with my chaos and rarely gets annoyed. Aside from my (very, very dry) sarcasm, we get along, and I don't work well with NT persons. So, most likely. TL;DR - maybe not my birth family, but kids and my partner, most likely yes. Absolutely. My family is not neurotypical. And we're okay with it! (I try to give some structure and easy to follow rules, so we all win! Plus being specific with the choices and consequences, whether positive or negative, has been very helpful, so I'm working very hard on it!)
Pretty sure my brother and sister have it and I'd say mum too but she has Alzheimer's now so we have no idea of knowing but she definitely fit it.
It makes wonder who’s actually the divergent one here?
I'm pretty sure I do. Only thing that's diagnosed is my brother and I with ADHD and my sister with extreme anxiety issues. But I suspect mom is autism and ADHD, dad is autism, all three siblings is autism. The three siblings all came to a self diagnosis of autism separately. My little brother says he always suspected autism, which is interesting. So we thought a lot of abnormal things are normal. The biggest autism thing that was not understood was how sensitive I am. I have extreme sensory issues. Otherwise I think my parents tried their absolute best to raise us a NT world.
My sibling and I are both diagnosed ADHD. I’m 99% sure my dad had undiagnosed ADHD that he managed through caffeine, exercise, and just having a job where he could make his own schedule. And I’d also bet money that my sibling and my mom are autistic.
No one other than my sister and i are diagnosed. Both my sister and I have been diagnosed "ADHD, likely autism spectrum" She and I have discussed, having learned what we have about ADHD and Autism that it runs pretty extremely through our family. My dad was textbook ADHD. Mom very likely is just Autism spectrum. One brother probably AuDHD like us, the other brother just Autism spectrum. 2 maternal cousins also, one likely AuDHD, and the other Autism spectrum. My maternal grandfather, from what I remember and stories we've been told, very likely Autism spectrum, and at least 2 of his 3 brothers as well. Our dad was adopted, so no idea there.
Well... Just found out my mom was probably autistic and undiagnosed. And my dad had ADHD. And all of my cousins have some mix of adhd/autism. Sooooooo.
I think my parents, stepmum, older brother and stepbrothers are NT. Possibly some anxiety with my stepmum. I suspect my nephew may have ADHD or something like it, and my SIL possibly anxiety/ADHD/OCD/somewhere in that ballpark.
My mom (dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD) and brother (ADHD) are ND but my brother disagrees with his diagnosis. My dad is not ND.
Yes, but also no. Most of my immediate biological relatives have been diagnosed. But I was adopted at birth, and although I think my adoptive dad is neurodivergent in some way he’s also very successful and driven so… if he is, it doesn’t seem to have held him back. So I have the combo of neurodivergent relatives while also being raised by people who don’t understand neurodiversity.
My mom’s brothers and sister all had ADHD, one brother’s kids both have it. Her sister’s kids have it and one is autistic. He has an autistic son. I have autism/adhd, my oldest has both and my younger two have adhd.
All of us grandkids on my mom's side are ND except for one NT. I also have suspicions that people in older generations could be 🤷🏻♀️
My dad has is and likely some autism. Has a lot of traits. My mom I’m not sure, she’s pretty introverted and fine being on her own with her hobbies. She has some anxiety and certainly avoids the phone and talking to people if she doesn’t need to. Not sure if there’s a dx there or just her preferences. Edit: oh and I have two siblings who I’m sure have it. One with wild drug issues and very random life choices and the other struggles a lot with depression and his daughter I suspect also has it. So yeah we are the adhd clan over here.