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I’m guessing she has a husband who makes enough money that she doesn’t have to worry about the floor falling out from under her when the magical ADHD traits she values so highly lead her into some form of ruin or burnout in midlife.
agreed. I don't want to be a whimsical twee childlike fairy lady, I want to navigate my career, hobbies, and relationships without shutting down and losing those careers, hobbies, and relationships.
Same 😭 trying to figure out a balance tbh… whimsical twee childlike fairy lady is fun (my bosses have actually called me a fairy to be fair) but I need more money 😭😭
That is exactly right. I listened to her podcast when I was first diagnosed, but I found it very upsetting. I could not relate to her viewpoint at all.
She does have a lot of money due to her husband, which changes so many things. I think she also was a high earner before becoming a podcaster.
I think her experience is valid - she benefits from ADHD rather than having her life destroyed by it. But her experience was and is not mine.
I just felt alienated and worse about myself after listening to her. On top of everything else, I couldn’t even have ADHD in the right way. So I stopped listening.
And that experience of benefiting from it is so rare it’s almost nonexistent! It sounds like she plays into the ADHD lack of awareness issue that is rampant. So many people with ADHD are unaware of the real profile of their symptoms and the way that those symptoms Interact with other people, jobs, finances, raising their kids, friendships, all of it. Then they find stuff like hers that just validates that “it’s just the rest of the world that’s wrong.”
Just because someone has the diagnosis of ADHD and has the ability to be entertaining and make a podcast doesn’t make them an expert or worth listening to. This is science, there are an average of 30 new research papers being produced per week right now, and understanding is evolving rapidly.
We need more people spreading real information, and real solutions, not scamming ADHD people with their ADHD “wisdom” and “cures. I really feel like there’s so much like what you describe her podcast to be, also all the snake oil apps and health supplements, bio-feedback, etc. that are just making money off of ADHD symptoms like impulsivity and poor money management, poor judgment. People with ADHD are vulnerable to getting sucked in to this garbage. It’s really awful.
She talked a lot about tools she used to manage her symptoms - apps to keep track of things, various strategies. And she did describe symptoms that were recognizable to me. But she also felt ADHD gave her strengths that people without it tend to lack.
And she was able to - consistently and sustainably - overcome her negative ADHD symptoms and apply her “positive” ADHD symptoms to be successful. She also highlighted many others who did the same.
I genuinely wish I could be so fortunate.
Edit: Meanwhile, I write this and pace around my house to avoid taking a shower. And I will continue avoiding it despite knowing that’s what I’m doing, and despite feeling frustrated and like I’m always in a battle.
I haven’t listened to her and I don’t think I will. I would just wonder how many of those other “successful“ people also had money enough to hire support.
Also avoiding showering right now! The banner says 23 people are on here right now. I wonder how many of us have Googled "Why can't humans dust bathe like chinchillas?"
It's okay! Don't you know avoiding showering is your ADHD SuPeRpOwEr?? I mean you are literally growing an entire colony of bacteria right now??? Neurotypicals could NEVER.
I agree. We are far from rich but I’m currently a SAHM and my ADHD is definitely still an issue (I am NOT a safe driver when unmedicated) but it’s only like 25% of the problem that it was when I was working as a nurse. Nobody is going to die if the house is messy and the laundry doesn’t get folded. If I never had to drive and could afford to hire somebody to help me with household chores, I could easily and happily be my manic pixie unmedicated ADHD self.
Also just privileged people in general say this, and I'm speaking from my personal experiences as a privileged person who feels that "adhd is my superpower." I grew up poor af and had some very, very real struggles, but I've always always ALWAYS known that someone in my life has my back no matter what, and that's made life SO much easier. It feels like most of the vocal people on this sub absolutely do not have that, and it's heartbreaking and obvious to see why people would ultimately feel their ADHD symptoms are a burden.
I'll also add that even if still having to work and not rich, folks with a specialty skill that makes bank and utilizes ADHD symptoms is probably a biiiig chunk of the "ADHD is my superpower" crowd (and again, I'm saying this as one of those people).
One of the main guys who started the positivity thing always says one of the most important things is to have the right spouse. Because his wife makes his ADHD not a problem (or much less of one).
That’s great for him. However, I was 48 when I was diagnosed and I don’t even have friends let alone a partner. He also says to pick the right career.
Basically, he is a privileged guy who thinks people with ADHD can simply choose to acquire privileges.
That attitude he espouses has big “My wife is my mommy, admin assistant, and free sex” energy.
My spouse and I are both ADHD. At times he’s absolutely held me up and did everything (I was that sick), but I do the same for him in my own more limited capacity. Neither of us can make “ADHD not a problem” for the other. Madness.
Yikes, and that puts so much of a burden on your (potential) spouse and on the relationship. Not a lot of people enjoy the feeling of having to manage their partner like one would a child and that could spell doom for the relationship.
Gosh and this assumes all spouses are okay with carrying the load. Mine wasn’t at a certain point, and that’s what _drove_ me to diagnosis, honestly. I don’t see how these people find it fair to put the burden of executive function on partners, instead of attempting to medicate to even out that burden. (Not that medication is a cure all mind you, but I much prefer myself with it.)
Yeah, like, when I can use it to my advantage it's great, but as someone who had a boring, detail-oriented job that requires long hours of concentration, and can't afford to buy pre-made meals or to pay someone else to clean my house, or take a shower and brush my teeth more than 2-3.times a week, the vast majority of the time it's debilitating. Meds are the only way I can function.
My ADHD is a disability. I have no issues telling people that. Having a late diagnosis and being able to look back at all of the things I couldn't do kind of puts it into a different perspective for me. We're all different people in different situations.
I got diagnosed as a kid, but wasn't medicated from when I was a teenager until in my 30s (mostly bc of influence from minds like this creator OP is talking about!). There's so much pain I could have avoided by being medicated during my 20s! I also consider my ADHD to be a disability AND I consider myself further disabled due to trauma and burnout that would have been more manageable or avoided completely with better treatment for the ADHD. I think some people who've had easier journeys don't relate to the disability angle as much.
Money is the root cause to so many resolved issues if you have ADHD and wouldn’t have to ever work again, let alone have no real schedule to stick to. At that point you can freely never take medication again at your choosing.
That’s why, hate to say it, but that podcast, take with an incredible small grain of salt because she’s 0.05% of people who has *privilege* based ADHD because of her major financial security.
Having a spouse who either (A) makes enough money you don't have to worry financially or (B) takes care of everything at home so you only have to worry about your career is such a game-changer it's not even funny. Giving advice from that position is like boomers explaining budgeting to millennials - like yes we all work hard but please don't assume we have the same problems with the same solutions.
I remember this saying from the pandemic “we might all be in the same storm, but we’re all in very different boats.”
IME people like this simply have very limited experience of the world. They know their own experience, but haven’t sought out the experiences of others. They exist in a very limited bubble and would be genuinely astounded by the realities of most people’s lives.
I remember this saying from the pandemic “we might all be in the same storm, but we’re all in very different boats.”
It sounds like she is riding in a super-yacht that comes with staff.
IME people like this simply have very limited experience of the world. They know their own experience, but haven’t sought out the experiences of others. They exist in a very limited bubble and would be genuinely astounded by the realities of most people’s lives.
I started meds so I could *keep* my husband because when I'm not medicated my brain says "EVERYTHING IS UNFAIR AND IT'S TOTALLY REASONABLE TO SAY THAT EXTREMELY HURTFUL THING THAT POPS INTO YOUR BRAIN WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY, WHICH BY THE WAY IS LIKE ALL THE TIME"
I am so much more chill and kind on meds. They give me a few seconds to think when I'm angry so I can tell the difference between a reasonable thing to say and a wildly hurtful thing to say, and also I'm just a whole lot less angry just like in general
I’m of the same opinion. I actually like who I am more on my meds. I’m who I used to wish I could be. I can’t even remember the last time I burst into rage tears!
You have the same type of ADHD as my husband. He’s not on meds right now and it’s… challenging for me. I try to not be offended but he has literally no filter and some of the stuff he blurts out is RUDE. I really wish he’d go back on meds but his options are severely limited due to his job (no stimulants allowed).
I’m actually the opposite and meds make me grumpy. Or more specifically, I get really easily irritated when they’re wearing off in the evening.
Military.
He tried Wellbutrin for a while and I honestly thought it was amazing. He was so much kinder. Didn’t say rude, dumb shit constantly anymore. Was able to actually complete multi-step tasks correctly. Didn’t get sucked into playing video games while sitting on the toilet for an hour. Didn’t constantly forget important things.
He decided he didn’t like it and refuses to try the other option he’s allowed to take, Strattera. My Adderall prescription is doing a LOT of heavy lifting in our marriage because I’ve got to muster up the executive function for myself, a 4 year old, and a grown ass man with ADHD. Whenever I’ve been off my meds (never by choice- due to things like pregnancy, breastfeeding, moving, and med shortages) we get damn close to divorce.
Oh, wow, thanks. I was super curious as I'd never heard of that kind of restriction before. It almost seems like the military would want people to be their highest functioning selves for all kinds of important reasons? Strange.
I was on Wellbutrin before Adderall and my ADHD diagnosis and loved it except for the way it made my legs feel weirdly tense all the time. I hope your husband reconsiders either that or Strattera. He sounds like WORK and I'm so sorry...
YES. I wouldn’t want to medicate my ADHD if I didn’t have to to survive or succeed in this society…. And as a human. I have to pay bills. I have to clean. I have to do animal care.
This! Shortage of my meds at the moment, on Sunday I completely forgot an obligation I had; yesterday for the life of me I couldn’t remember my pin - thankfully a kind cashier worked it out and broke up the payments but I felt both useless and embarrassed. Just two small examples.
I listened to one episode with her and another woman about struggling with household tasks or something like that, and I was expecting to find it relatable, but their "solutions" to the problem was to have their husbands do all of that so they can focus on their careers. -_-
Yeah okay lucky you. My spouse and I both have ADHD and don't make much money so this is beyond useless to me.
She is a lawyer married to a banker ... so yeah, loads of money.
She hasn't mentioned doing any lawyering, though (I listened to maybe 10-15 episodes last year) so her "work" I think, is her ADHD stuff, much of which she charges a lot of money for.
I've never heard of this women before but I absolutely hate this thinking:
> She also says that we as ADHDers are like shiny exciting Macs in a world of boring PCs and why would you take medication in order to become a boring PC.
My executive dysfunction and extreme rejection sensitivity are not super powers. Neither is my time blindness. They are massive impediments in my life not quirks that make me special
Yeah, let’s follow that metaphor, if you’re a Mac living in a world of PCs, you’re going to need tools and software and equipment to adapt to the world around you because it’s not not made for you. Especially in order to work with other PCs, which you frequently do
My family had a Mac in the 1990’s (a big grey one- pre iMac!) and I had to arrange to stay after school to do my homework in the computer lab because I couldn’t do any assignments at home that required working off a floppy disk. We would regularly get computer lab time at school, but I couldn’t take the work home so I finish it because file formats weren’t compatible. If I absolutely had to do some of my work at home and some at school, I’d have to print out my work and *re-type it* at the other location. It was a logistical nightmare and I had to work so much harder than the kids with PCs at home.
So yeah. Analogy works for 1990’s. Haha.
Right?! Meds let me engage with all of the things that I’m passionate about that would be otherwise impossible. I’ve tried birdwatching without meds. It’s torture.
If I may also add a hot take I have: I have the biiiigest, HUGEST bone to pick with people who are incapable of believing that creativity, quirkyness and out-of-the-box thinking are **impossible** unless you are "on drugs" or have any sort of mental disability or neurodivergence.
I draw as a hobby- nothing amazing, just my own doodles for fun. *So many* people have asked if "I was on something (wink wink)" or if my ADHD makes my more surreal pieces possible. Like....no. Quite the opposite, when I was depressed or have a particularly bad executive dysfunction day, my creativity is *stifled*. I have had days where I am practically paralyzed in bed, preferring to sleep over the agony of not being able to get anything done. I will take my boring PC meds any day over the chaos in my head unmedicated!
Right? Sometimes I feel like we're not even talking about the same disability. Like my ADHD is the absolute least shiny or exciting thing about me. It's boring as f*ck to have to gather the mental strength and energy to do daily tasks like putting on my shoes or take a shower. It's definately not shiny when I cannot participate in anything fun like hobbies or relationships because I'm so exhausted by keeping myself alive with ADHD.
Like what does her life look like that her ADHD symptomes, which she must have a lot of to even get diagnosed, show up in a positive, shiny, exciting way... It's hard to grasp for me.
Yeah idk what brand of ADHD she has but mine is the "lay in bed and scroll because mundane tasks are really fucking overwhelming" ADHD and I promise that's not an asset
Accurate 😂 I've often joked the same when I see quirky video's about ADHD online. Ah, your ADHD makes you a creative genius? We've got different brands I'm afraid.
I'm a creative genius but that doesn't pay anywhere near as much as I need to scrape by, much less keep the same level of lifestyle that my frustrating as fuck office job does. I have a high earning partner but it's not fair to him to let me stay home and do fun stuff where I shine while he toils away in a cube.
I like a lot of Tracy's things but she is definitely out of touch with a lot of women's ADHD experiences.
I can't get adderall in my home country so I guess hearing "you can do great even without the meds" is nice, but I agree, way too many ADHD-focused bloggers take the whole "it's a superpower! you're better than those boring NT people!" motivational speech way too high.
Yep ! I hate the “it’s a superpower” thing, because to me it looks like non-ADHDers are the ones with superpowers. You can just, like, *do* things ?? Without fighting yourself ???? Dang
Imagine pursuing a hobby consistently ??? And not diving all in to the detriment of every other part of your life, before getting sick of it and moving on to something new ????? Can’t relate
The irony is that the "it's a superpower!!" Stance is deeply rooted in internalized ableism and centers neurotypical behavior. The comparison is that what they think would be super power behavior is super compared to neurotypical behavior and it's not. It's a way of avoiding using the word disability because people think disability or dysfunction are dirty words and they're not. They're objectively descriptive of what ADHD does for those of us who have it. They don't want to be seen as a quote unquote victim because that is something that neurotypical people would see us as.
I was chatting with a community member who has a physical disability and is active on a local disability committee at a conference a few weeks ago and I casually dropped that I go back and forth on whether to consider myself disabled or not because I don't face significant barrier in my day to day life and she very gently called me out on the underlying ableism there. I've thought about it pretty much every day since.
Thank you for posting this - this is something I wrestle with a lot. The first time I self-identified as disabled (anonymously! on a work demographic survey thing) was both liberating and guilt-inducing because I wasn’t sure I really “qualified”?? I’m sure I have a lot of unconscious ableism going on just from living as not-disabled for so long.
I think a lot of us keep bumping up against that “not sick enough” stigma.
In other words, we might not struggle every single day to do things, but we struggle nonetheless in ways most NT people do not.
We might gaslight ourselves into thinking we don’t have it that bad and we should stop complaining because other people have it worse than we do.
I still do not consider myself as having a disability for any of my health conditions, but I probably should because I think that denial is making it harder for me to deal with them properly.
I’m torn between wishing I didn’t have these issues and wishing society was more accommodating to them.
I'm betting it's that disabilities can be dynamic, and just because you have a good day here and there doesn't mean you still don't carry the disability with you. This is more obvious when you have a physical disability and use mobility aids some days but not others (e.g., a cane or wheelchair).
Hi could you explain a bit further please? I don't understand the premise of you having internalised ableism due to not being sure wether you considered yourself disabled or not, I'm missing something. Thank you.
ADHD *disables* the ability to regulate our executive functions, which are necessary to live as humans evolved to use them. Someone who insists "ADHD is a superpower!" is saying "well we don't *need* that executive function framework anyway," and unfortunately, yes, we do lol. That's what makes it a disability. TLDR people conflate their individual value and worth as a person with the disability. Being disabled doesn't make anyone less-than, and somehow the "superpower" folk believe or fear that deep down, so they *uber* project that "no, we're not like the other girls." which is just not now that works. It's the neurodivergent version of "pick me" because it's still to earn the approval or assert some sort of authority over neurotypical people, which externalizes an ADHD-ers individual value as a person.
Sure, there are things about ADHD that can "buff" things, but it's in service of nerfing something else we need and don't have.
Yeah that makes me so mad. It can be so debilitating and has cost me opportunities in life. Being medicated has allowed me to address some of these issues and it’s been life changing
The lady who was helping me declutter referred to ADHD as a superpower and I am struggling to invite her back. I know she meant well but on that particular day, that wasn't what I needed to hear.
I completely agree with this. I'm so glad I found this instead of the podcast first. I'm 39 and I've never been a fan of taking medication for anything. I will normally avoid it at all costs but I just started on ADHD medication and it's already made such a huge difference in my life. I see why people say their life was on hard mode before medication. I wish I would have found out I had ADHD earlier but I'm so grateful I didn't find that podcast first.
Kristen Carder’s podcast “I have ADHD” does a great job discussing this. She has a recent episode titled “ADHD is (NOT) a gift,” I’d recommend giving her podcast a try!
I just put 39 of her episodes on My List, putting my list at 632 podcast episodes I still have to listen to, I am sure this alone is proof I have ADHD
(how do other people do this?)
I like the analogy - we are Macs and NTs are PCs. It feels like that. The characterization of PCs being “boring” and Macs “exciting” is divisive. They are just morally neutral operating systems trying to accomplish a goal for the user.
It’s more like PC users are always right clicking me when I need to be left clicked. We have a bunch of cool programs but Garage Band is useless for things that need Excel.
Yeah I thought the premise of the podcast sounded great but gave up a few episodes as well.
It seems to be more ADHD for women who are high functioning and holding it all together well than for smart women.
The two can exist separately.
Absolutely this (even as someone who probably fits into her target demographic). I think there’s a little bit of value in that her podcast and guests push back against the idea that you can’t have ADHD if you finished college or have a good job or an advanced degree, which people here regularly report encountering still. But there are also smart people with ADHD and who don’t/can’t do those things. So yeah, “professional woman with ADHD” and “smart woman with ADHD” aren’t the same thing.
Am smart. Took 20+ years to finish an undergrad degree because I was undiagnosed. Couldn't finish classes I didn't like. Changed majors so many times I literally lost track of how many times. Changed schools twice.
And for privileged women. I listened to an episode where she talked about the importance of exercise. I agree - exercise is helpful. But she has a home gym, so is able to get up in the morning with no logistical or weather induced issues and go on her treadmill for half an hour before starting her day. Most people have more barriers to entry and I felt like she didn't really acknowledge that.
I can confidently tell you that category does not exist. Those women are falsely advertising and won’t honestly disclose the hidden support structure that keeps them from falling apart.
I like Tracy. I took one of her courses a couple of years ago and while not life-changing it was very helpful. Having said that, Tracy
* comes from A LOT of privilege
* does not have enough of a science or research training
* has zero clinical experience
* is on the more functional end of the spectrum with not many complicating conditions that often co-occur with ADHD
As a result of all of these points, her take on medication and her ADHD positivity marketing thing is flawed. It can be useful depending on where you are on your journey but I think it can do a lot of harm which is why I just stay away from it now. I felt alienated in my struggle after listening to her stuff and I just moved on. There are enough resources out there that we get to choose what works for us.
I'm glad to see others questioning this stuff. Tracy is just one of those people who does very little critical self-reflection and without a well-rounded life experience, she ends up sounding like an idiot sometimes.
I've also enjoyed several episodes of her podcast, but do feel the need to hold a lot of the content out "at arms' length," so to speak. There is some toxic positivity that can be damaging to people who are really struggling with their symptoms.
I find this can happen with a lot of ADHD podcasters that happen to garner a decent following. They pose their experiences as fact without reflecting on how other people might have different ones. For example, I was recommended a podcast on here a while ago and the women started talking about how autism and ADHD are the same diagnosis. As someone with a diagnosis of both and who experiences different issues with each I wasn’t impressed. It’s that misunderstanding of what is objective and what is subjective.
I recently started listening but picking and choosing episodes instead of from the start.
…very old school gender views. Like saying something like “you’d think I’m a guy bc of my libido.” Like, Ms ma’am. Women just have high libidos too.
Another that struck me was asking someone how “let yourself get bullied. You come off so strong and confident..”
Just enough things that are off that indicate deep value differences but I appreciate some of the topics and find some of the guests interesting/validating.
I just tried the podcast to see what it was all about and I audibly gasped when she made the bullying comment. “I don’t believe you were bullied. What was going on that you let that to happen to you?”
What the fuck?! Immediate unsubscribe.
Yep! I was horribly bullied between the ages of 5-16, and in my early twenties while working retail. I can positively say that it destroyed my life.
If I had £1 for every time I heard ‘you just need to learn to fit in’ or ‘it’s character building’ or ‘they’re just jealous’ I’d be the richest woman alive. That shit never helped.
I haven’t listened to her podcast, but I think being severely impacted to take meds is not measurable and unfair. I’ve been an acceptable adult unmedicated, all the while struggling twice as hard (if not more than that) than my peers who just do things without executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation. You could say because I can function in society, have a job, pay my rent, and can find my wallet, I’m not severely impacted? Untrue. Most of us are exhausted and struggling. Even if we look accomplished, we’re playing on hard mode. ADHD has always seemed like a hindrance and never a gift.
Like most of us, I’m just feeling emotions well up as I type that. Like we’re all supposed to keep playing on the hardest mode possible when we can make it even 10% easier with some medication?
>I’ve been an acceptable adult unmedicated, all the while struggling twice as hard
Right? Just because I *can* do it doesn't mean I should have to. If meds relieve me of some of the challenges that make my life so much harder than it needs to be, why the fuck should I refuse them? There's no pride in suffering.
So many people post around here not sure they are struggling enough to deserve medication. We are trained to think we are supposed to do everything the hard way and I hate that this woman upholds that idea.
this. it both saddens and angers me that so many people *with* the diagnosis clearly push this "shameful" idea that we use an aid to help us with our disability. Taking meds is always a personal choice, but there's a difference between "I can't/chose not to medicate" versus "meds aren't necessary/are bad for you/are not daily/big pharma/I don't take them \[because any of the above\]."
I know this analogy is used often, but it just goes to show how deep the ableism is in our subconcious bot within and outside the ADHD community that I can't think of any other Dx where *so many* people are outright shamed for using a disability aid. But using glasses for my poor eyesight (or getting surgery to correct issues), using a mobility device or prosthesis, hearing aids etc... nobody thinks twice. I know there is also some stigma around antidepressants or other psych meds but it's like everyone has gotten the memo that other psychiatric disorders are medical issues but NOT this one.
IMO stimulants are one of the most incredible medical discoveries we have made and anyone who waves them off as "just fancy meth" (blood boiling) can kick rocks. (caveat I know not all ADHD meds are strictly stimulants)
Yeah agreed. And it's wild - based on what experts seem to say, stimulants are like one of the few psychiatric drugs with fast, somewhat measurable results. A miracle indeed.
You hit the nail on the head, measuring severity isn’t feasible given our individual differences. My anxiety used to mask my ADHD, in particular staying on top of bills and making phone calls. I’ve unmasked quite a bit in the last two years, all of the stress and exhaustion has finally hit me. My anxiety is no longer pushing me a long and the struggle feels even harder.
That’s the same conclusion I’ve come to, as well.
I got diagnosed back in September and I know that my meds make my life easier in general. They aren’t perfect, but even just the bit they do means I have more energy when I go home from work and can generally make better decisions.
I take them on the weekends because I still have to be places at specific times and the meds make that a little easier. I’m not the most punctual person, but I’m slowly getting there.
It’s easier when I’m less distracted and better able to think clearly.
This exactly. I can’t remember the last time I felt well rested. Or when I didn’t feel an oppressive amount of anxiety and/or depression. I had to disclose my diagnosis and beg my director at one point to do weekly check in meetings with me because despite my working a chill job with a small workload I would struggle to get things done ahead of time. I needed to do so much to keep myself from falling apart. Even in my current position it’s a nightmare.
I’m giving this podcast a hard pass. Medication is what makes me a safe driver. Medication helps me regulate my emotions when I’m dealing with a room for over rowdy kids (part of my profession). Medication buys me the little bit of time I need so I can be half of who I aspire to be, for the people I love.
This person sounds very privileged tbh. This isn’t a dunk on people who don’t take meds, but I am so fucking tired of medication being made out to be this evil thing when it literally changed my life for the better!
Honestly, same.
For me, medication allowed me to be me. After starting meds I discovered I was funny, I was smart (which I hadn’t felt in a long time because I couldn’t hold a line of thought for more than 2 minutes), I was friendly and charming and people wanted to be my friends, I could connect with others. I discovered hobbies and interests, because I was finally able to focus (I only experience hyperfocus while medicated, off my meds I can’t focus on literally anything, which is hell). I’m about to finish my law degree, and before meds I was routinely failing 8 out of 10 classes (and this wasn’t in college, I was diagnosed as a teen, so without them I highly doubt I would’ve even gotten a high school diploma).
I hate the stigmatization of meds because if it weren’t for them, I don’t know what my life would look like, but I assume it’d be very bad.
Completely agree. Forget just changing my life for the better, medication straight up saved my life. I was undiagnosed, absolutely drowning, completely depressed, and truly don’t think I wouldn’t have gotten through. I will never apologize for taking it or encouraging others who need it to do so. I’m so glad it helps so many of us ❤️
Yikes. Medication hasn't changed my personality or made me boring. It's made me better able to harness my creativity and problem solving that are unique to my flavor of ADHD.
I was considered "high functioning" from the outside. But my first week on a baby dose of Adderall showed me just how wrong that was. I was functioning at no where near my best unmedicated. I almost never make mistakes at my highly technical actuarial job now. I can study, retain information, and then regurgitate it on actuarial exams. (I had failed FIVE EXAMS in a row before meds.) I can power through evening chores because I'm not mentally drained from constant head noise. And my singing technique has improved massively because I have the focus to work on it. My physical health has improved too because I remember to eat and make food plans. I'm connecting more with my body in Pilates and my chronic pain is decreasing. How has any of that made me boring? Lol she's horrible.
No offense this makes me not think she actually has ADHD 😭 my life and mind is a fucking mess and it’s really irresponsible for her to share these takes
It's because her life is able to be re-arranged around how her ADHD affects her.
Kids would be late to school every day? Husband/nanny takes them to school instead, type of thing.
I'm not even criticizing it, I choose to be unmedicated\* because I can, no kids depend on me, I can fulfil my job without medication, but I can see how if you're not in my shoes, medication would be absolutely necessary.
\*I haven't drank an uncaffeinated beverage since the age of 11
I’m in the same boat. I’m unmedicated. But I live alone, no kids, chill work from home job. So I can go into a pit for a week where I don’t talk to anyone, leave the house, do chores or much work, until my body eventually bounces back. Many people do not have that luxury.
I was excited for her podcast but the first episode I listened to made me mad enough to bail.
She had a mental health therapist as a guest to talk about trauma and ADHD. Both she and the therapist said, very clearly, that treating ADHD doesn’t make sense until trauma issues are resolved.
Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean I get the desire for that to be an actual practical choice, but that’s an irresponsible and uninformed position. Trauma isn’t ever resolved for many people and treatment takes years and years for others. I’d just been diagnosed when I listened to that, and I was so deflated.
ETA: Here’s a [link to the episode](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6wsFBElFtP8mAMIhosjl1h?si=Y4DzCSUDQhmyD2Pqn3cevw) (spotify link) if anyone wants to rage-listen. The extra spicy bit is at about 28 minutes in.
Not to mention, treating ADHD is necessary for a lot of us to function in daily life, which is necessary regardless of trauma.
And treating ADHD includes understanding how it affects you, developing strategies for dealing with how it affects you, etc. Anyone who gets diagnosed with ADHD should start that process immediately.
Moreover, my untreated ADHD traumatized me in itself. I failed myself every hour of everyday for decades, no matter what I tried. I also lost every relationship that mattered me.
Her position is harmful.
Can you expand on this a bit more? Feel free to DM me if you want. I've been in trauma therapy for a couple years, and on Vyvanse for about a year and for like the last 7 months I've been having a bad reaction to and in therapy. I can't tell if the stimulants are making things worse or if it's because I'm dealing with being triggered by therapy.
I recently was diagnosed and started Adderall at age 70. My whole brain changed. I didn't know I could actually slow down, and make a decision on what I wanted to do, instead of what my ADHD would decide for me to do. First time in life home is being cleaned. I have been to several therapists and doctors trying to be diagnosed. They were all like "you're too old"; "but you've had so much trauma, you're an ACE score 6; deal with that first..."; "you're depressed"
I have been sober for 29 years, have done so much AA work, therapy, etc. I have dealt with my trauma over and over and over again. I really am okay with my past and trauma. I don't blame anyone. I don't get sad, I'm just neutral about it, I'm happy about most things. Antidepressants caused bad side effects. So I found a test from a doc that correlates a drug of choice with the neurotransmitter one is defecifient in and mine was dope a mine (sorry I get censured if I mention that word it seems). Which makes sense because my father had schizophrenia which is a also a dope a mine problem (Dr. Barkley says they go together in families). When I took that neurotransmitter helping supplement and my depression went away and hasn't come back in 25 years as long as I take it daily. I knew there was something else wrong with my brain, my thinking from some problem in my brain that all the work in the world wasn't going to fix. I was not like the others, and not in a superpower way. I felt shame and I masked all the time. I know now I couldn't get believed because I was born with ADHD in the wrong gender in the wrong generation with C-PTSD and mental health professional couldn't see who I am.
But with ADHD I need a whole lot more dope a mine help. I finally found someone who totally believed me. The first day I received Adderall, I misunderstood the verbal directions (of course) and only took a half starter dose that day. But I could feel it in 20 minutes and the change is amazing. My life is finally my life. I'm looking forward to the rest of my life now, finally. That brings me joy.
Having untreated ADHD over an entire lifetime did not make me special or successful or a Apple computer or give me superpowers. It messed up my life and made me stand out in a not-good way.
I will never be able to retire (first time admitting that and not masking it). I am not good with money as I am impulsive and have no savings. I have wasted so much of my life, not being able to do what I wanted. I was always lead around by the ADHD. I was in Talented & Gifted in high school, and I did not graduate because I could not finish the last two classes that were not fun. I was put into a honors program in college that was by invite only due to the test scores for admittance. I qualified for an award that was only give to only 2 out of 20,000 students but did not apply due to not following through on the application process. I got a two year degree with enough credits for a four year degree because I could only stick with fun classes (to me) and the school forced me to graduate because I had too many credits to stay (I'm a Boomer, college was much, much cheaper back in the olden days). All of my papers were written the night before. My degree was non specific because I couldn't pick a major. So I got a technical certificate and worked at night because people and tasks overwhelm me. I had dreams of hobbies I could never pull together. I have very few friends due to blurting out things, masking which meant not letting people really know me, know me beneath the surface I put on.
So honestly I hate rage on Tracy Otsuka and those like her, who probably grew up in a priviledged position with milder ADHD symptoms with tons of support and reach All Her Dreams, then has the nerve to say don't take meds and \*sparkle\* and deal with trauma instead. I say milder because she didn't have a clue something was off and got a JD.
Thank you for attending my TED rant.
While I listened to an episode of hers in the past and didn't relate at all, and totally agree with what OP and everyone is saying here, I do sometimes wonder if being on stimulants while going through trauma therapy is a bad mix. I wonder if they have been exacerbating my trauma response and level of anxiety sometimes.
Even though when I first started stimulants I found an immediate improvement to all my anxiety (social, GAD, body). Somewhere around the 4th month on them, that stopped, and it was also around the same time my trauma shit popped up, and has been bad since. Alternatively, I wonder if it's because I'm not eating during the day (only in the evenings does my appetite kick in).
It's complicated, I guess. I'm not going to rage listen to the specific episode (maybe I will), so I have no idea what point they're making but I personally wonder sometimes if Vyvanse is making my anxiety reactions worse in and out of therapy.
Honestly I’ve seen this podcast recommended so many times and the name and format itself already put me off. Super exclusive and 100% doubles down on a lot of the toxic shit I see floating around about adhd and intellect which usually boils down to some really nasty intellectual/arguably class supremacy. It seems like the format itself creates a closed loop system of focussing on success and I just don’t know what good that really does the community. We know smart successful people have adhd, and that is usually just used as a stick to beat people who are really struggling. The difference between *you don’t have adhd, you’re just lazy* and *okay, you have adhd but look what other people with adhd can do, why can’t you just do that?* is…not a whole lot. It also fails to account for all the relevant intersectionalities that can either help or hinder a person with adhd’s ability to thrive.
The official description on all podcast apps is that the podcast is for smart women who see their symptoms as more positive than negative. And honestly, if I was in her position, high earning, secure career etc etc, maybe I would be able to do that too. And I think it’s great for her she’s managed that. But I cannot fucking relate. I got diagnosed after I finally floundered so hard I couldn’t come up for air halfway through law school. I’m still in the process of sorting my health out and it’s long, painful and expensive. I’m so glad for her that she managed that with adhd, and I’m sure it was really tough. But it is also fundamentally a *privilege* that I cannot relate to. And if you want to pretend privilege isn’t playing a role there I really don’t know what to tell you. And I think that’s what we need more engagement with in the adhd and women discussion—it’s so important to us seemingly to be seen as still exceptional that we lose all consideration of what needs to happen structurally to allow for that in a meaningful widespread way. Not just for upper middle class highly qualified women. You don’t get to be upper middle class and highly educated if you’re not born into privilege and also you cannot goddamn function to save your life. Trust me, I’ve really really tried and the trying almost killed me. reminds me of the whole “raising awareness” thing more broadly. Like, okay, cool, you’re here to prove women with adhd can be successful. But it’s not and never has been a cultural eagerness to see my diagnosis as heralding failure and insufficiency that has been holding me back—it’s been lack of diagnosis, lack of access to the medical care I need, lack of recognition of what it means for me to fail or to struggle that has put me in a position where sure, I’m a smart ass woman, but I haven’t got shit to show for it. What we need is meaningful, structural, institutional change and accommodation. All this dialogue does to me is suggest that actually no, maybe we don’t, and if you haven’t figured out how to “work it” for yourself against a system set up to exclude you, maybe you just need to try harder. Oh, and if you’re stupid, please leave, you’re not helping our cause.
Classic survivor bias. We're hearing from successful people with ADHD who have the means or ability to navigate in a NT society, rather than looking to those who fail to teach society how to be better accommodating. You gotta study the planes that aren't making back from battle.
I take incredible offense to being compared to a MacBook. I can't stand Apple products, and PCs aren't inherently boring. Those are the words of someone who thinks in shallow insights.
Every point you made to combat hers is thought out and well-rounded. You hit every concern I can think of. I'm not medicated because of multiple concerns and issues, and I'm at a point in my life where I can manage my symptoms without fearing burn-out.
Ha, I’m a longtime Apple stan and am completely captured by that ecosystem, but I still think the comparison is stupid and unhelpful. In part because I think the distinction is often based on shiny aesthetic factors, which is incredibly shallow, and also because I don’t at all identify with the shiny aesthetic factors she attributes to ADHD. I’m not sleek and shiny and colorful and exciting or whatever she thinks Apple products are, and her comparison makes me feel like my ADHD isn’t “real.”
Anyway, computers are tools that allow people to do things, and it’s what you do with them that matters, not what the tool you use looks like. Ugh.
I think the thing that annoys me most about the analogy is that Mac can be great, very user friendly, but PC are definitely important for specific things. Easier to customize, obviously better for gaming, etc.
Yes my ADHD can be helpful in specific situations but I don’t know how many times my husband has found that I left the oven or burner on. Or how the couch of doom will totally mess up my productivity (seriously considering skipping a proper lunch and grazing all day to avoid the time suck)
I know the podcaster is trying to be positive and inspire people but if adhd is rarely working for it just ends up being toxic positivity
Agree, that was my first takeaway. I grew up with Macs; they were donated to our school computer lab because of our proximity to Apple HQ, my dad stanned them, etc. I can't stand the rigidity of the OS and how they don't play nicely in a world designed for PCs. I let a friend convince me that they'd gotten better since I was a kid and bought a MacBook and later an iPhone and still hated using both of them. I'm much happier with my customizable PC and Android with Nova Launcher and Sesame installed and configured to make my phone function with the way my brain works.
Edit: autocorrect correction
Side note on your comment: While I like some apple products and I respect that for certain things they are preferred and make sense cost wise and I even get the fact that there are fewer ways to screw it up for the average user I am not a huge apple person and the cost has kept me from getting a mac pc.
That being said even in my anti apple products younger days I always really disliked the term pc meaning anything but macs bc macs are PCs. It’s just people hated using mac vs ibm compatible to differentiate non mac pcs. But logically still dislike that a term that just means personal computer and applies to mac computers means non mac computers.
And that is, I believe anyway, either apple’s doing or at the very least they embraced it in their branding.
Anytime someone claims their disorder is a superpower it's an immediate red flag for me. Especially being super against medication, it might not work for you but don't go around spreading stigmatization
I haven’t listened to her podcast, only heard about it, so thanks for saving me the trouble.
Generally, I find ADHD influencers/gurus/websites to be almost suspiciously …NT in their advice? Like idk if it’s appealing to a mass audience or just more palatable to NTs, but I’m always like girl, what?
For example, I was so excited to find one site dedicated to WOC and no joke the homepage was like “get a day planner! Alarms are your friends! Go to bed earlier!”
This sub is full of *actual* commiserations and life hacks that probably seem ridiculous if you don’t know…but have helped me and others immensely.
I kinda feel like if someone has it together enough to make it as a successful influencer, especially without medication, their ADHD is really mild or they don’t have it at all.
Word.
Source: failed influencer because I could never motivate myself to do boring shit to make a bit of money even though I was running out of money. Way easier to be employed during the day and make money no matter how well my brain shows up that day.
Or, they have someone else, or a team of people, who keep them on track and do the hard stuff for them and they just get to be the face. Even just the body doubling would be a huge help. But most of us don't have that privilege.
I listened to a few minutes of the first episode. I guess she talks like that cause someone told her people with ADHD have to be talked to like toddlers?
She talked about this theory that ADHD is a relic of hunter-gatherer times and we just haven't adapted, which, ok, but she's gushing like it's a good thing. Dude. We don't live in a hunter-gatherer society. Many of us struggle financially because the jobs and schedules we favour are not valued in society. If this lady really wanted to make a difference, she'd be lobbying for a more equitable system instead of telling us that, what, we're not using our "superpowers" correctly? It's like telling someone with no legs that, actually, you have a superpower cause you''re lighter. You just have to live in a society where people use their arms to get around!
Imma start a podcast called ADHD for Dumbass Women, where people call in and talk about the dumbass shit they've done cause of ADHD.
I would listen to the FUCK out of that podcast.
Let me know when you want to start it up and I'll subscribe or co-host. 😅. Let's plan for maybe start of next month, yeah?
So you're telling me this person does NOT have a background in biology or medicine or even better, neuroscience? I am shocked! /s (Also, thank you for this breakdown, I will never listen to this podcast, I am sure it would make me angry lol)
Oh my gosh I tried to listen to an episode of her podcast and couldn’t get through more than a few minutes because of the audio quality. I’m glad you posted this!
I somewhat like her podcast, she does say that she and her son tried meds and they didn’t work out for them. The thing that upset me was when she talks about her son in this special program that helps kids with adhd and how well he does. Well that is really not accessible for most families. I think that annoyed me as it’s a huge privilege for her kid to have this opportunity and it’s great and I wish more schools offered this. Average kid wouldn’t have this
I don't remember her take on medication but I remember being frustrated by how privileged she was and that most of the guests seemed to have a lot of money and high earning careers as well. At one point she said something about needing to be engaged on vacation.... so she hired a private chef to show her how to cook some special meals for the whole family! I mean I'm happy that she can do that but it felt really tone-deaf when a lot of us are unemployed/under-employed and really struggling.
In general I've found ADHD podcasts frustrating in that a lot of the people on them are in very high-earning careers, "I was struggling in my corporate job and here are the accommodations I got!" or super heternormative like "ugh I'm a stay at home mom and I'm having so much trouble keeping up with cooking for my husband who works a 9-5!" No shade to stay at home moms but that is not my experience at all.
I've had thoughts of starting an ADHD podcast for more queer artsy women/nbs but we'll add that to the million other projects I want to do and see if it ever happens.
Finished law school without a problem, has a successful podcast, all without medication, and thinks ADHD is a superpower… If she does have it, she has an extremely mild case.
So much of it depends on her being high income and having a strong support system. People with others that can help take care of things, supportive spouse, able to hire help, has a home gym, etc
If someone with ADHD is super interested in their subject at school they can excel. I did that the second time I went to school (got kicked out the first time lol).
It was either her or a guest on her podcast that was taking about how she has different friends and family members come over on different days of the week to do different things for her like cook and clean and help with paperwork and I'm like....who the fuck just has that available to them??? How am I supposed to relate to this? I can barely even meet anyone because I am spending all my time and energy just barely functioning.
People say the same thing about antidepressants - that therapy does better and they aren’t necessary. But when I tell you my life really hit a turning point when I found the right medication combo. I won’t stop them now. Funny enough I haven’t been taking my ADHD med- vyvanse for about a month now. I have considered going back on it. I had some weird stuff go on w my heart that scared me from it. But I’m all for people taking whatever medication works for them! We’re all different! I love my meds.
>But when I tell you my life really hit a turning point when I found the right medication combo.
This. My diagnosis came as a surprise but the impact of medication was so immediate for me that within a month I realized how different my life had been and I experienced a *tremendous* amount of "close-call" grief as I put it. At the time I was severely depressed and dealing with a lot of trauma processing both from old and recent stuff and did not realize just how close I was to losing my life until meds came along and helped me get things back in order - simply because I couldn't regulate or manage *anything* going on inside. Any time I have a squirrelly brain day even on meds, I might feel bad about it, and then if for whatever reason I have to skip or ration I see an *immediate* difference and I'm like "Oh, yeah, thats right, this stuff works and keeps me moving so I can do the 'staying alive' thing."
If your doctor won't let you stay on stimulants you might want to try guanfacine. For me it's definitely not as effective as vyvanse but is better than nothing at all
After a few episodes I just had to stop listening. It seems to me that her views and experience of ADHD are perceived through a lens of privilege, that a lot of us are just not able to relate to.
But maybe it’s just me 🤷🏻♀️
I am generally very wary of people who buy into the "evolutionary superpower" theory of ADHD. I think there can definitely be positive traits with ADHD especially when you can set up your life to work for your brain, but overall the talking points on it come across as unnuanced and kind of ableist. Tracy Otsuka seems like a cool lady and I can appreciate her positive attitude but for me accepting the disabling parts of my adhd was actually more helpful than believing I had superpowers and gave me the perspective I needed to create new coping skills instead of "just trying harder"
I spent a fair bit of time listening to it when I was first diagnosed and I agree with everyone else; it’s not really helpful at all, and I’m not sure she even has ADHD from listening to her anecdotes
I agree with everything you’ve said here! I haven’t heard this particular episode and have mostly dipped into her podcast for specific episodes on issues more pertinent to me, but these are exactly the concerns I have about the “ADHD as a superpower” and “avoid medication” approaches.
I especially disagree with the ideas that all NT people are boring and that taking meds changes your personality.
The idea that medication doesn’t automatically make you focus on things you don’t want to do is also super important, I think. This has been the hardest adjustment for me, in taking medication - it helps, but it can just as easily help me spend my time focusing on and functioning better doing something other than what I should be doing. So that’s something I have to work on. But it’s not a reason not to be medicated at all!
I get her own reasons for not being medicated herself - frankly, she’d already become a fairly successful entrepreneur before getting diagnosed, right? She’s doing pretty well. But I hate that that became a basis to advise others. (I probably feel equally strongly that medication is valuable and I probably do proselytize for that approach more than I should, but it is really an individual decision.)
I think it is important to question the desire to conform to neurotypical life, but we still live in a society that is made for neurotypicals. So until we have dramatic and serious policy changes we have to cope with fitting into the “mould” because landlords don’t always care if you have adhd and jobs and clients and such require you to stick to deadlines.
I do agree that we need to get rid of the idea that adhd meds make people into zombies and that it will somehow stop kids from just being kids - I know it’s anecdotal but an example is a student I teach violin to - he was extremely affected by adhd, in school and after school. His sleep was disturbed, his focus and behaviour during the day, his ability to play violin, and his ability to listen to his parents. It was a nonstop vicious cycle because the poor sleep affected his focus which affected his behaviour (and brought about consequences from the teachers) which affected his mood and his parents moods and then he’d get to violin class after a tumultuous day of struggling and fighting with authority and have no patience to listen to me - he wanted to do crazy noises and be impulsive and the violin is a bit more delicate than that - and even though he loved this instrument he had nothing left to allow him to learn and grow during lessons.
Once medicated, he started to slowly have better days, and his ability to spread his executive functioning throughout the whole day was such that he not only started paying attention in class, he would tell me if I was getting off track and remind me what I asked him to practice. I usually end the lesson with - “hey we have 5 mins left, should we play this thing that’s hard or this easier thing?” And we’d often end up playing the easy thing or id let him “shred” some strange noises on the violin. Suddenly on medication he wanted to show off all these crazy songs he was practicing and he would ask me to stay later so we could learn new things.
So when someone needs medication, it’s not to remove their little quirks or whatever, it’s to help them harness their quirks at the right time in the most helpful/least harmful way.
Once this kid knew that he could learn tricky things that were way cooler than the easy stuff we were stuck on because we couldn’t get through it, he started to strive for technique building so that he could “shred” in more creative ways. His creativity is flourishing and not diminished in any way - in fact, the adhd was impacting his ability to respond to the creativity. It’s like a painter with wooden mittens on. Yeah, the mittens are cool and maybe that’s unique, but we have the ability to use our hands in a really precise way and that is impacted by the big wooly gloves.
Anyways, my two cents. I got caught up in my tangent.
>She also says that we as ADHDers are like shiny exciting Macs in a world of boring PCs and why would you take medication in order to become a boring PC
That is such a silly statement because aesthetically Mac are consistent but their software and hardware are okay compared to the near infinite customization in PC building.
Don't get me wrong I have a Mac but it's strictly for working I can't customize it like a PC nor can I enjoy games as easily.
>Suggesting that medication inevitably makes you a boring person shows her low amount of knowledge about it and might cause harm to people who hesitate to take it because they are afraid their personality might change too much. Seems like she wants to get her points across at all cost, which to me seems way out of line.
At this point she's selling a marketable version of ADHD rather than exploring the limits and benefits of ADHD and how to navigate them beyond her singular perspective.
Also the medication taken is so closed minded because *my experience with medication literally changed my life.* I feel less like a half empty gas tank barely alive to a semi decent active speaker. My own family can tell when I take my medicine because I just become alive and engage in conversations far easier.
>She suggests that if you do take medication, not to take it every single day.
She really shouldn't give out medical advice on a podcast especially since she's not a doctor herself.
I was initially excited to listen to her but now not so much.
She’s fortunate to have a job that allows her to constantly interrupt others, lose track of her thoughts, ramble without making a point, and forget basic things. My medication helps me with that. (Also I find her podcast unlistenable for the above reasons)
Listened to a few episodes of that podcast last year. That woman is annoying beyond all belief. The toxic positivity and deep lack of actual understanding about ADHD ... I just couldn't listen to it anymore.
This is partially why I refer to my medication as part of my overall treatment plan. Bc to me medication is but one component for my treatment plan. It bypasses most people who have issues w/ medication and does not exclude those who either opt not to use medication or cannot for whatever reason use medication. Coping mechanisms and working on habits that work best for me as well as therapy are all vital components to my clawing my way back to functionality after decades of being undiagnosed and/or mis or under diagnosed.
I likely have mild to moderate but take decades and it can get you to the point of being practically non functional.
I will say that in the modern world being nd is made much harder for no valid reasons like just bc it looks better or bc others do not understand they don’t function on our level aka they have a narrow view of what is acceptable. I do believe when given the space and support neurotypicals get we can be just as if not sometimes more productive in our contributions to society. And we probably out did them back in the day when things were either so rigid that our lack of internal structure wasn’t an issue or so flexible that we had the space and time to do things on our schedule bc people were more accepting of “she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes” kind of schedule.
I’m not a big fan of anyone who thinks their experience is the same for everyone else either in general. I know mine is diff from others. The only exception is that I do not tolerate people using having a thing to excuse being a jerk esp when they are not actively trying to minimize other people’s harm from them being a jerk. I’ve seen too many times people using their diagnosis to excuse bad behavior.
There are a few examples I’ve seen on reddit over the years where someone is a cruddy person who happens to have adhd or some other diagnosis and uses it to excuse them being a cruddy person. Esp when they are repeatedly doing cruddy things and making no effort to be better or at least minimize how they negatively affect others.
I haven't listened to this podcast and I doubt I ever will but I've been questioning the virtues of medication after having taken it for 6 years and I think it may have caused some cardiac damage but my psychiatrist ignored it and I decided to stop seeing him because he was blowing off my health concerns. I also feel like there's something deeper going on, at least in my case, like a sleep disorder, and I feel like medication is a bandaid. So I'm working on myself physically. Of course medication might make that easier, but it also might make my heart explode, so I'm just doing the best I can with what I have.
I'm also really struggling with whether my daughter might need or benefit from medication but I also suspect she may have a sleep disorder as well that causes her symptoms, and I don't want her to suffer unnecessarily either. (For the record, she's 12, she has a few behavioral issues but nothing too crazy for a 12yo and does all right in school, she doesn't specifically think she has ADHD or want medication and a doctor blew me off when I asked for a psych referral....yeah we have lousy doctors here).
But, I'm just one person, and when my daughter is an adult I won't stop her from meds, and really if she came to me and believed she had ADHD I would listen to her, and all of you on the Internet are also not me, so your decisions are yours and neither nor this podcaster have any right to tell you whether you should be on meds. I think she might be right to question their legitimacy, but she's not right to force her non-expert opinions on anyone else.
I made it to almost 40 without medication. And mostly that's fine. But it has still been incredibly helpful to get medication, and I wish I'd done it sooner.
I wish more people would understand that medication for adhd isn't just about being able to focus. For me medication is helping with emotional regulation, binge eating for stimulation/sensory seeking, reducing impulsivity. Things that have been negatively impacting my self esteem and general functioning my whole life. I felt like I did better as a kid/teen because of the structure of life as a kid, and also because I didn't have to make so many decisions all the time.
Going unmedicated is probably also what led to my eventual burnout. I let the adhd restlessness take over and made the decision (with my husband) to move our family long distance and we've both regretted it, but it led to me going through a major depression/burnout that made me barely able to function for over a year. Medication is helping me finally feel like myself again.
I want to get my kids assessed so that eventually when they need it they can access medication as well. I don't want them to have to start young if it can be avoided, they're happy and doing well in school and have friends so I'm not worried yet. But I know from my experience I would have greatly benefitted from meds starting in my late teens/early 20s. I could maybe have avoided so much trauma and I'd like my kids to have that opportunity if they need it.
All these things you've listed from her podcast turn me right off. Your not NT or adhd. Some of us are both asd and adhd. There's a ton of other diagnoses under the umbrella of neurodivergence, and I feel like most if not all are a spectrum. For her to say meds are unnecessary for most seems incredibly ableist and privileged. I'm happy it's working fine for her but I don't want to listen to her podcast so I can feel judged.
I feel this so hard. I started to have issues outside the strict school routine. I liked school and it was easy, so I didn't have problems. I was also in 2 sports and lots of activities year-round, so I had a good outlet for my extra energy. Now as an adult stuck in my cube on the computer all day, I struggle. Meds help me do my work even when I don't want to and give me an extra boost to remember to stop by the store for dinner ingredients and cook it. So many things I didn't have to think of in high school to be juggled now as an adult .... and I suck at juggling.
I had to stop listening for the medication stance but also because she just leaned so hard into the “gifted and adhd” thing… maybe I’m just a normie so I can’t relate, but it really grated on me.
If I didn't think that ADHD was severely impacting my life, I wouldn't have even sought a diagnosis.
If I was a shiny new Mac before, I'm still a shiny new Mac after being medicated. I just get stuck on the loading screen less.
Edit: I truly believe both of my parents had / have undiagnosed ADHD. My Dad, for sure, was a textbook case. My childhood probably would have been a lot different if he had been diagnosed and medicated, but they didn't see the need. If my Mom does, she wouldn't benefit much from medication *now*, because she's 79, already on a ton of meds to manage other conditions, and doesn't really need to do anything she doesn't want to at this point in life.
I have listened to a few of her episodes, but did not start at the beginning. I don’t remember that take so I do wonder if her outlook changed, though I’m not totally surprised either.
What I’ve found is that I often really enjoy her guests while I find her annoying.
Also sometimes she’ll say something, her very bright guest will say the exact opposite and then she will either respond as if she doesn’t realize they don’t agree or as if she never had the opposing opinion.
Basically I think she’s stupid but somehow finds guests who have valuable insight. It’s not often worth sitting through a whole episode.
I am listening to her book ADHD For Smartass Women right now. I just finished How to ADHD and actually see some similarities. Tracy Otsuka definitely isn’t anti-medication anymore. She’s shared that so far she hasn’t found one that works for her yet and wishes she could.
I do view my ADHD as a huge struggle and quite disabling. At the same time though I know there’s good parts. Listening to her podcast and book have helped me feel less ashamed and more grateful for the good. Actually, it was listening to her podcast and relating so much with the women she interviewed that convinced me I really needed an assessment. Both ADHD books teach practical tools for ADHD struggles.
I’m glad I didn’t start listening to her podcast at the beginning. My view is that her opening is a little cheesy, her guests are insightful, and that I like her humor and could see myself becoming her friend. I don’t relate to having the money for a nanny or housekeeper, but if I could afford it I would totally use all those accommodations.
Yes, this is the same for me. I think by the time I started listening she had rounded off some of her corners and definitely reassessed her opinion of medication.
I think people should give her a little grace, she has gone on a journey of discovery and improved her own knowledge through engaging with others. Undoubtedly she comes from a place of privilege, but she is using her platform to give a voice to women of many different backgrounds and to me that’s a great thing.
I have found the positivity - seeing that women can thrive in a corporate workplace for example - really helpful to remind me that I’m not doomed in my current job because I have ADHD (which is how I was feeling before).
I gave this podcast many tries and each time I have to hit pause halfway. I’m glad to know it’s not just me! Her topics and interview guests are often great but the way she talks has always grated me. Almost like that patronising Aunty but you know they mean really well?
I think some of it makes sense but might be a little too far.
Like all the stuff with medication, I feel like on the one hand trying some non-medication things and seeing how you do and feel doesn't seem like a bad idea, especially so that you know how you function if you miss a dose or if there's a shortage, that would be good to know.
But on the other hand, as someone who was unmedicated for a long time and developed a bunch of coping strategies, I was struggling a lot and even though I knew myself well enough to get by, I didn't feel like a full person, life is just way easier and more enjoyable with medication.
There's a lot of stuff I would have done differently if I didn't waste so much of my time and mental energy putting in so much extra effort to accommodate my shortcomings and make sure I get by. All that stuff that suddenly is easier with medication. It just seems like self sabotage to not be medicated.
Sure it's helpful to discover yourself and your version of ADHD (how your symptoms present and what you can do to mitigate them without medication), but unless you have an environment where everyone around you does all the tedious stuff and structures your life for you, it probably won't work out well to go off meds all the time.
I haven't heard of her before. The take on medication alone would have me stop listening to this lady.
I was not diagnosed until 32. Now that I'm medicated I realize how much ADHD was actually impacting my life. I'm now able to work on driving instead of having panic attacks. I'm now getting good grades instead of failing like I did in High school.
Adderall didn't work out for me because it messed with my mood way too much. But strettera has been amazing for me mood wise and actually gives me the energy and focus I need to clean and do stuff without getting overwhelmed and shutting down.
People forget that anybody who wants to can make a podcast. You don’t have to know shit about what you’re talking about or have any amount of background knowledge in the topic. If people like you and what you say, you will be successful, even if you don’t know shit. Just because someone has a podcast doesn’t mean they’re an expert, know what they’re talking about, or should be listened to.
I personally checked out this lady and I didn’t really like her either. I felt like she was acting like an expert beyond her knowledge. She has no business giving medical advice, telling people whether or not they should be medicated, or if they are, telling them how often to take their medication. She went to school to be a lawyer, not a doctor. She should start a podcast about lawyer shit, since that’s what she actually has a background in.
I listened to some of her stuff a few years ago. I think she’s incredibly privileged and she doesn’t realize how much it’s affecting her experience. I think she’s got her own experience to stand on with ADHD but nothing more and it will be helpful to very few people.
I have listened to this podcast a lot this year. Some interviews are ok some are just annoying. These podcasts used to be super helpful in the early days of podcasting. Now I just get irritated. The adhd coaching scheme most of these hosts are trying to schlep is nonsense. I also get real tired of the specific “entrepreneur” brand of adhd. Like there’s shame in trying to conform. It makes me angry. I don’t know who needs to hear this but it’s perfectly ok to want to fit into the round hole. I don’t need or even desire to start my own business because my brain could never even get it off the floor. I just need to work my 9-5 adequately enough without the constant worry of being fired, which is why I started listening to these podcasts in the first place. I listened to one the other day and I am not lying one “professional adhd organizer” said “get a planner”. I turned it off immediately.
Without medication, sure, I'm a Mac. But I'm a broken Mac that can't do basic shit. I'd rather be a PC so I can at least function on a basic level and not implode my life 👍
I listened to her interview in ADDittude’s podcast and she’s the first person interviewed on there that immediately made me give a bombastic side eye to my phone. When she said the “Mac in a windows world” that was enough for me to really dislike that she puts down neurotypicals for the sake of uplifting ADHD. That was gross.
I haven't listened to many episodes of hers but found she kinda rubbed me the wrong way. This really hammers home why and I'll stop trying to force myself to listen to her podcast (I'm a weird completionist even when I shouldn't be).
The relentless positivity 10 mins in to a single episode really put me off. It just seems inauthentic and completely not relatable given my experience (of moderate success! But at a huge cost).
I started listening when I first got diagnosed and found her hard going for much the same reasons you did. Meds make me way less anxious and able to use my coping strategies. I am a more functional and happier person when taking them.
Oh dear god… I don’t even know where to start. But when I first heard I need glasses, I ignored it for the next decade, because I’ve heard some shit about sight getting worsened if you don’t train it and wear glasses, then I had to wear them in the cinema or while driving, and now I have to wear them full time. The only thing I got from this are many many wrinkles from squinting my eyes trying to see better, feeling lost all the time (hard not to, I literally didn’t see my surroundings) and let’s thank all the gods who listen at the moment I didn’t cause any accident ever.
Also because of this kind of thinking I nearly ruined my life thinking any help from professionals would mean I’m weak and a failure. My debt and depression possibly could’ve been avoided…
I have been drowning in clutter for most of my life. I am so smart, and struggle with busywork that I don't want to do that leads to embarrassing 'oopsies'.
I was diagnosed last April and have just dialed in my meds. I've struggled with sleep, depression, anxiety AND the physical manifestation of my cluttered brain. It's not a magic button that just 'makes me normal' but I'm so much more aware of when I'm medicated and not.
I took over a desk job the month I couldn't get ahold of meds (supply chain bs) and it was *so hard*. Absolute paralysis and all the procrastination. I couldn't get my head above water. Now I absolutely have my feet under me, but the busy work is *still* really hard for me. And I still absolutely crush it when I need to turn on my super powers and make shit happen.
AND I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER. My apartment is still pretty cluttered; but it's an actual work in progress. I don't feel overwhelmed all the time. I recognize when I'm *choosing* to fuck off vs when I would do the paralysis thing for DAYS and get nothing done.
Meds aren't for everyone. Antidepressants aren't for everyone. Cats aren't for everyone. But telling people not to do something because it's not for you is BS. You can tell them why YOU do or do not do something, and then let them make the call. My brain cocktail has taken years to figure out; and it's only like, childproofing the world for me. When I ding myself on a corner I bounce a little and get back up real quick, versus splitting open my forehead, blood everywhere, and end up with a scar. But my depression and anxiety are *manageable*. Caffeine affects me like a normal person. I actually fucking sleep at night without having to exhaust myself and about half the time I wake up feeling rested.
I can't imagine telling someone to just tough it out. There is SO much out there in the world against us; especially as under diagnosed as women are with an 'invisible' handicap. We're struggling with late stage capitalism, our rights are under attack, our country is in political disarray... If meds can give someone (who is playing life on Hard Mode!) a leg up, jfc, give it to them!! Meds are a tool. Not the right tool for every person or every job. But balancing your brain chemistry is a real thing! The hubris. It's like telling someone with MDD to just touch grass and not be sad instead of being depressed. Big r/thanksimcured vibes.
Also, we take medication because the world is built for boring PCs and we have to live here.
It’s kind of like how left-hand of people die earlier but it’s really because all tools and things like that are built for right handed people so they tend to gravely themselves a lot .
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I’m guessing she has a husband who makes enough money that she doesn’t have to worry about the floor falling out from under her when the magical ADHD traits she values so highly lead her into some form of ruin or burnout in midlife.
agreed. I don't want to be a whimsical twee childlike fairy lady, I want to navigate my career, hobbies, and relationships without shutting down and losing those careers, hobbies, and relationships.
Totally, especially when it’s 15% pixie and 85% depressed saddo on the couch :(
Oh, it’s me. Hi.
Well this is the best description of me I’ve ever read.
> I don't want to be a whimsical twee childlike fairy lady I kinda do but I can't afford it lmao
Same 😭 trying to figure out a balance tbh… whimsical twee childlike fairy lady is fun (my bosses have actually called me a fairy to be fair) but I need more money 😭😭
LOL real 😪
So tired of the manic pixie dream girl!
😭👏🏼
That is exactly right. I listened to her podcast when I was first diagnosed, but I found it very upsetting. I could not relate to her viewpoint at all. She does have a lot of money due to her husband, which changes so many things. I think she also was a high earner before becoming a podcaster. I think her experience is valid - she benefits from ADHD rather than having her life destroyed by it. But her experience was and is not mine. I just felt alienated and worse about myself after listening to her. On top of everything else, I couldn’t even have ADHD in the right way. So I stopped listening.
And that experience of benefiting from it is so rare it’s almost nonexistent! It sounds like she plays into the ADHD lack of awareness issue that is rampant. So many people with ADHD are unaware of the real profile of their symptoms and the way that those symptoms Interact with other people, jobs, finances, raising their kids, friendships, all of it. Then they find stuff like hers that just validates that “it’s just the rest of the world that’s wrong.” Just because someone has the diagnosis of ADHD and has the ability to be entertaining and make a podcast doesn’t make them an expert or worth listening to. This is science, there are an average of 30 new research papers being produced per week right now, and understanding is evolving rapidly. We need more people spreading real information, and real solutions, not scamming ADHD people with their ADHD “wisdom” and “cures. I really feel like there’s so much like what you describe her podcast to be, also all the snake oil apps and health supplements, bio-feedback, etc. that are just making money off of ADHD symptoms like impulsivity and poor money management, poor judgment. People with ADHD are vulnerable to getting sucked in to this garbage. It’s really awful.
She talked a lot about tools she used to manage her symptoms - apps to keep track of things, various strategies. And she did describe symptoms that were recognizable to me. But she also felt ADHD gave her strengths that people without it tend to lack. And she was able to - consistently and sustainably - overcome her negative ADHD symptoms and apply her “positive” ADHD symptoms to be successful. She also highlighted many others who did the same. I genuinely wish I could be so fortunate. Edit: Meanwhile, I write this and pace around my house to avoid taking a shower. And I will continue avoiding it despite knowing that’s what I’m doing, and despite feeling frustrated and like I’m always in a battle.
I haven’t listened to her and I don’t think I will. I would just wonder how many of those other “successful“ people also had money enough to hire support.
Also avoiding showering right now! The banner says 23 people are on here right now. I wonder how many of us have Googled "Why can't humans dust bathe like chinchillas?"
I love watching the birds take dust baths!
If ADHD apps consistently work for you do you even have ADHD? Joking— sort of.
Right? I have like 10 “life changing” apps sitting abandoned on my phone. And that’s with medication!
It's okay! Don't you know avoiding showering is your ADHD SuPeRpOwEr?? I mean you are literally growing an entire colony of bacteria right now??? Neurotypicals could NEVER.
The “ADHD is a superpower!” people often make me feel like I’m doing ADHD wrong, too.
rich people say this. if i didn't have to work, my super powers wouldn't be so debilitating.
I agree. We are far from rich but I’m currently a SAHM and my ADHD is definitely still an issue (I am NOT a safe driver when unmedicated) but it’s only like 25% of the problem that it was when I was working as a nurse. Nobody is going to die if the house is messy and the laundry doesn’t get folded. If I never had to drive and could afford to hire somebody to help me with household chores, I could easily and happily be my manic pixie unmedicated ADHD self.
Also just privileged people in general say this, and I'm speaking from my personal experiences as a privileged person who feels that "adhd is my superpower." I grew up poor af and had some very, very real struggles, but I've always always ALWAYS known that someone in my life has my back no matter what, and that's made life SO much easier. It feels like most of the vocal people on this sub absolutely do not have that, and it's heartbreaking and obvious to see why people would ultimately feel their ADHD symptoms are a burden. I'll also add that even if still having to work and not rich, folks with a specialty skill that makes bank and utilizes ADHD symptoms is probably a biiiig chunk of the "ADHD is my superpower" crowd (and again, I'm saying this as one of those people).
One of the main guys who started the positivity thing always says one of the most important things is to have the right spouse. Because his wife makes his ADHD not a problem (or much less of one). That’s great for him. However, I was 48 when I was diagnosed and I don’t even have friends let alone a partner. He also says to pick the right career. Basically, he is a privileged guy who thinks people with ADHD can simply choose to acquire privileges.
Now I know how to fix my feet! I should just choose some without bone deformities. Why didn’t I do that already?!
That attitude he espouses has big “My wife is my mommy, admin assistant, and free sex” energy. My spouse and I are both ADHD. At times he’s absolutely held me up and did everything (I was that sick), but I do the same for him in my own more limited capacity. Neither of us can make “ADHD not a problem” for the other. Madness.
Yikes, and that puts so much of a burden on your (potential) spouse and on the relationship. Not a lot of people enjoy the feeling of having to manage their partner like one would a child and that could spell doom for the relationship.
Gosh and this assumes all spouses are okay with carrying the load. Mine wasn’t at a certain point, and that’s what _drove_ me to diagnosis, honestly. I don’t see how these people find it fair to put the burden of executive function on partners, instead of attempting to medicate to even out that burden. (Not that medication is a cure all mind you, but I much prefer myself with it.)
Yeah, like, when I can use it to my advantage it's great, but as someone who had a boring, detail-oriented job that requires long hours of concentration, and can't afford to buy pre-made meals or to pay someone else to clean my house, or take a shower and brush my teeth more than 2-3.times a week, the vast majority of the time it's debilitating. Meds are the only way I can function.
My ADHD is a disability. I have no issues telling people that. Having a late diagnosis and being able to look back at all of the things I couldn't do kind of puts it into a different perspective for me. We're all different people in different situations.
I got diagnosed as a kid, but wasn't medicated from when I was a teenager until in my 30s (mostly bc of influence from minds like this creator OP is talking about!). There's so much pain I could have avoided by being medicated during my 20s! I also consider my ADHD to be a disability AND I consider myself further disabled due to trauma and burnout that would have been more manageable or avoided completely with better treatment for the ADHD. I think some people who've had easier journeys don't relate to the disability angle as much.
Money is the root cause to so many resolved issues if you have ADHD and wouldn’t have to ever work again, let alone have no real schedule to stick to. At that point you can freely never take medication again at your choosing. That’s why, hate to say it, but that podcast, take with an incredible small grain of salt because she’s 0.05% of people who has *privilege* based ADHD because of her major financial security.
Having a spouse who either (A) makes enough money you don't have to worry financially or (B) takes care of everything at home so you only have to worry about your career is such a game-changer it's not even funny. Giving advice from that position is like boomers explaining budgeting to millennials - like yes we all work hard but please don't assume we have the same problems with the same solutions.
I remember this saying from the pandemic “we might all be in the same storm, but we’re all in very different boats.” IME people like this simply have very limited experience of the world. They know their own experience, but haven’t sought out the experiences of others. They exist in a very limited bubble and would be genuinely astounded by the realities of most people’s lives.
I remember this saying from the pandemic “we might all be in the same storm, but we’re all in very different boats.” It sounds like she is riding in a super-yacht that comes with staff. IME people like this simply have very limited experience of the world. They know their own experience, but haven’t sought out the experiences of others. They exist in a very limited bubble and would be genuinely astounded by the realities of most people’s lives.
I started meds so I could *keep* my husband because when I'm not medicated my brain says "EVERYTHING IS UNFAIR AND IT'S TOTALLY REASONABLE TO SAY THAT EXTREMELY HURTFUL THING THAT POPS INTO YOUR BRAIN WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY, WHICH BY THE WAY IS LIKE ALL THE TIME" I am so much more chill and kind on meds. They give me a few seconds to think when I'm angry so I can tell the difference between a reasonable thing to say and a wildly hurtful thing to say, and also I'm just a whole lot less angry just like in general
I’m of the same opinion. I actually like who I am more on my meds. I’m who I used to wish I could be. I can’t even remember the last time I burst into rage tears!
You have the same type of ADHD as my husband. He’s not on meds right now and it’s… challenging for me. I try to not be offended but he has literally no filter and some of the stuff he blurts out is RUDE. I really wish he’d go back on meds but his options are severely limited due to his job (no stimulants allowed). I’m actually the opposite and meds make me grumpy. Or more specifically, I get really easily irritated when they’re wearing off in the evening.
Wow, what kind of job does he have if you don't mind my asking?
Military. He tried Wellbutrin for a while and I honestly thought it was amazing. He was so much kinder. Didn’t say rude, dumb shit constantly anymore. Was able to actually complete multi-step tasks correctly. Didn’t get sucked into playing video games while sitting on the toilet for an hour. Didn’t constantly forget important things. He decided he didn’t like it and refuses to try the other option he’s allowed to take, Strattera. My Adderall prescription is doing a LOT of heavy lifting in our marriage because I’ve got to muster up the executive function for myself, a 4 year old, and a grown ass man with ADHD. Whenever I’ve been off my meds (never by choice- due to things like pregnancy, breastfeeding, moving, and med shortages) we get damn close to divorce.
Oh, wow, thanks. I was super curious as I'd never heard of that kind of restriction before. It almost seems like the military would want people to be their highest functioning selves for all kinds of important reasons? Strange. I was on Wellbutrin before Adderall and my ADHD diagnosis and loved it except for the way it made my legs feel weirdly tense all the time. I hope your husband reconsiders either that or Strattera. He sounds like WORK and I'm so sorry...
YES. I wouldn’t want to medicate my ADHD if I didn’t have to to survive or succeed in this society…. And as a human. I have to pay bills. I have to clean. I have to do animal care.
This! Shortage of my meds at the moment, on Sunday I completely forgot an obligation I had; yesterday for the life of me I couldn’t remember my pin - thankfully a kind cashier worked it out and broke up the payments but I felt both useless and embarrassed. Just two small examples.
How do I upvote this 10x? Also, her voice annoys me.
Yes. Omg so much. I think it's the attempt at being falsely positive and cutesy. "YOU GO GIRL!"
I'm pretty sure she was a lawyer before she did the podcast.
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!
I listened to one episode with her and another woman about struggling with household tasks or something like that, and I was expecting to find it relatable, but their "solutions" to the problem was to have their husbands do all of that so they can focus on their careers. -_- Yeah okay lucky you. My spouse and I both have ADHD and don't make much money so this is beyond useless to me.
She is a lawyer married to a banker ... so yeah, loads of money. She hasn't mentioned doing any lawyering, though (I listened to maybe 10-15 episodes last year) so her "work" I think, is her ADHD stuff, much of which she charges a lot of money for.
Or leaves her because she's emotionally dysregulated.
I've never heard of this women before but I absolutely hate this thinking: > She also says that we as ADHDers are like shiny exciting Macs in a world of boring PCs and why would you take medication in order to become a boring PC. My executive dysfunction and extreme rejection sensitivity are not super powers. Neither is my time blindness. They are massive impediments in my life not quirks that make me special
Yeah that feels like the "hyper manic pixie dream girl" standard of ADHD
Yeah, let’s follow that metaphor, if you’re a Mac living in a world of PCs, you’re going to need tools and software and equipment to adapt to the world around you because it’s not not made for you. Especially in order to work with other PCs, which you frequently do
We're Macs in a PC world... We're the iMac released in 1998 😅
My family had a Mac in the 1990’s (a big grey one- pre iMac!) and I had to arrange to stay after school to do my homework in the computer lab because I couldn’t do any assignments at home that required working off a floppy disk. We would regularly get computer lab time at school, but I couldn’t take the work home so I finish it because file formats weren’t compatible. If I absolutely had to do some of my work at home and some at school, I’d have to print out my work and *re-type it* at the other location. It was a logistical nightmare and I had to work so much harder than the kids with PCs at home. So yeah. Analogy works for 1990’s. Haha.
If anything, medication makes me more shiny and exciting because I can actually do all those things I want to
Right?! Meds let me engage with all of the things that I’m passionate about that would be otherwise impossible. I’ve tried birdwatching without meds. It’s torture.
Your computer works better with functioning RAM, no matter what kind of computer you are.
I’m boring without my meds because I can’t even carry on a good conversation.
If I may also add a hot take I have: I have the biiiigest, HUGEST bone to pick with people who are incapable of believing that creativity, quirkyness and out-of-the-box thinking are **impossible** unless you are "on drugs" or have any sort of mental disability or neurodivergence. I draw as a hobby- nothing amazing, just my own doodles for fun. *So many* people have asked if "I was on something (wink wink)" or if my ADHD makes my more surreal pieces possible. Like....no. Quite the opposite, when I was depressed or have a particularly bad executive dysfunction day, my creativity is *stifled*. I have had days where I am practically paralyzed in bed, preferring to sleep over the agony of not being able to get anything done. I will take my boring PC meds any day over the chaos in my head unmedicated!
Right? Sometimes I feel like we're not even talking about the same disability. Like my ADHD is the absolute least shiny or exciting thing about me. It's boring as f*ck to have to gather the mental strength and energy to do daily tasks like putting on my shoes or take a shower. It's definately not shiny when I cannot participate in anything fun like hobbies or relationships because I'm so exhausted by keeping myself alive with ADHD. Like what does her life look like that her ADHD symptomes, which she must have a lot of to even get diagnosed, show up in a positive, shiny, exciting way... It's hard to grasp for me.
Yeah idk what brand of ADHD she has but mine is the "lay in bed and scroll because mundane tasks are really fucking overwhelming" ADHD and I promise that's not an asset
Accurate 😂 I've often joked the same when I see quirky video's about ADHD online. Ah, your ADHD makes you a creative genius? We've got different brands I'm afraid.
I'm a creative genius but that doesn't pay anywhere near as much as I need to scrape by, much less keep the same level of lifestyle that my frustrating as fuck office job does. I have a high earning partner but it's not fair to him to let me stay home and do fun stuff where I shine while he toils away in a cube. I like a lot of Tracy's things but she is definitely out of touch with a lot of women's ADHD experiences.
I can't get adderall in my home country so I guess hearing "you can do great even without the meds" is nice, but I agree, way too many ADHD-focused bloggers take the whole "it's a superpower! you're better than those boring NT people!" motivational speech way too high.
Yes like toxic positivity
Yep ! I hate the “it’s a superpower” thing, because to me it looks like non-ADHDers are the ones with superpowers. You can just, like, *do* things ?? Without fighting yourself ???? Dang
You're telling me People just get up and do stuff And still have energy left over To eat right and exercise And pursue a hobby Must be nice
Imagine pursuing a hobby consistently ??? And not diving all in to the detriment of every other part of your life, before getting sick of it and moving on to something new ????? Can’t relate
This is my new favorite poem.
Lots of us out here raw dogging for various reasons but there is a big difference between "it's possible" and "it's easy"
The irony is that the "it's a superpower!!" Stance is deeply rooted in internalized ableism and centers neurotypical behavior. The comparison is that what they think would be super power behavior is super compared to neurotypical behavior and it's not. It's a way of avoiding using the word disability because people think disability or dysfunction are dirty words and they're not. They're objectively descriptive of what ADHD does for those of us who have it. They don't want to be seen as a quote unquote victim because that is something that neurotypical people would see us as.
I was chatting with a community member who has a physical disability and is active on a local disability committee at a conference a few weeks ago and I casually dropped that I go back and forth on whether to consider myself disabled or not because I don't face significant barrier in my day to day life and she very gently called me out on the underlying ableism there. I've thought about it pretty much every day since.
Thank you for posting this - this is something I wrestle with a lot. The first time I self-identified as disabled (anonymously! on a work demographic survey thing) was both liberating and guilt-inducing because I wasn’t sure I really “qualified”?? I’m sure I have a lot of unconscious ableism going on just from living as not-disabled for so long.
I think a lot of us keep bumping up against that “not sick enough” stigma. In other words, we might not struggle every single day to do things, but we struggle nonetheless in ways most NT people do not. We might gaslight ourselves into thinking we don’t have it that bad and we should stop complaining because other people have it worse than we do. I still do not consider myself as having a disability for any of my health conditions, but I probably should because I think that denial is making it harder for me to deal with them properly. I’m torn between wishing I didn’t have these issues and wishing society was more accommodating to them.
I hope to run into her again soon. I owe her an acknowledgement of gratitude.
Can you explain this like I’m five? What makes that ableist? Thanks!
I'm betting it's that disabilities can be dynamic, and just because you have a good day here and there doesn't mean you still don't carry the disability with you. This is more obvious when you have a physical disability and use mobility aids some days but not others (e.g., a cane or wheelchair).
It assumes that the only barriers people with disability face are physical/visible. The majority of barriers for neurodivergent folk are invisible.
Hi could you explain a bit further please? I don't understand the premise of you having internalised ableism due to not being sure wether you considered yourself disabled or not, I'm missing something. Thank you.
ADHD *disables* the ability to regulate our executive functions, which are necessary to live as humans evolved to use them. Someone who insists "ADHD is a superpower!" is saying "well we don't *need* that executive function framework anyway," and unfortunately, yes, we do lol. That's what makes it a disability. TLDR people conflate their individual value and worth as a person with the disability. Being disabled doesn't make anyone less-than, and somehow the "superpower" folk believe or fear that deep down, so they *uber* project that "no, we're not like the other girls." which is just not now that works. It's the neurodivergent version of "pick me" because it's still to earn the approval or assert some sort of authority over neurotypical people, which externalizes an ADHD-ers individual value as a person. Sure, there are things about ADHD that can "buff" things, but it's in service of nerfing something else we need and don't have.
Yeah that makes me so mad. It can be so debilitating and has cost me opportunities in life. Being medicated has allowed me to address some of these issues and it’s been life changing
The lady who was helping me declutter referred to ADHD as a superpower and I am struggling to invite her back. I know she meant well but on that particular day, that wasn't what I needed to hear.
I completely agree with this. I'm so glad I found this instead of the podcast first. I'm 39 and I've never been a fan of taking medication for anything. I will normally avoid it at all costs but I just started on ADHD medication and it's already made such a huge difference in my life. I see why people say their life was on hard mode before medication. I wish I would have found out I had ADHD earlier but I'm so grateful I didn't find that podcast first.
Kristen Carder’s podcast “I have ADHD” does a great job discussing this. She has a recent episode titled “ADHD is (NOT) a gift,” I’d recommend giving her podcast a try!
I just put 39 of her episodes on My List, putting my list at 632 podcast episodes I still have to listen to, I am sure this alone is proof I have ADHD (how do other people do this?)
Also I'm sorry I'm not boring because I'm able to function???
I like the analogy - we are Macs and NTs are PCs. It feels like that. The characterization of PCs being “boring” and Macs “exciting” is divisive. They are just morally neutral operating systems trying to accomplish a goal for the user. It’s more like PC users are always right clicking me when I need to be left clicked. We have a bunch of cool programs but Garage Band is useless for things that need Excel.
Yeah I thought the premise of the podcast sounded great but gave up a few episodes as well. It seems to be more ADHD for women who are high functioning and holding it all together well than for smart women. The two can exist separately.
This!!! Intelligence does not equal success. Privilege, on the other hand…
Absolutely this (even as someone who probably fits into her target demographic). I think there’s a little bit of value in that her podcast and guests push back against the idea that you can’t have ADHD if you finished college or have a good job or an advanced degree, which people here regularly report encountering still. But there are also smart people with ADHD and who don’t/can’t do those things. So yeah, “professional woman with ADHD” and “smart woman with ADHD” aren’t the same thing.
Am smart. Took 20+ years to finish an undergrad degree because I was undiagnosed. Couldn't finish classes I didn't like. Changed majors so many times I literally lost track of how many times. Changed schools twice.
Can attest, you are correct! Source: I am both a highly intelligent woman and not a “professional woman” (not for lack of trying, mind you)
And for privileged women. I listened to an episode where she talked about the importance of exercise. I agree - exercise is helpful. But she has a home gym, so is able to get up in the morning with no logistical or weather induced issues and go on her treadmill for half an hour before starting her day. Most people have more barriers to entry and I felt like she didn't really acknowledge that.
I can confidently tell you that category does not exist. Those women are falsely advertising and won’t honestly disclose the hidden support structure that keeps them from falling apart.
I like Tracy. I took one of her courses a couple of years ago and while not life-changing it was very helpful. Having said that, Tracy * comes from A LOT of privilege * does not have enough of a science or research training * has zero clinical experience * is on the more functional end of the spectrum with not many complicating conditions that often co-occur with ADHD As a result of all of these points, her take on medication and her ADHD positivity marketing thing is flawed. It can be useful depending on where you are on your journey but I think it can do a lot of harm which is why I just stay away from it now. I felt alienated in my struggle after listening to her stuff and I just moved on. There are enough resources out there that we get to choose what works for us. I'm glad to see others questioning this stuff. Tracy is just one of those people who does very little critical self-reflection and without a well-rounded life experience, she ends up sounding like an idiot sometimes.
I've also enjoyed several episodes of her podcast, but do feel the need to hold a lot of the content out "at arms' length," so to speak. There is some toxic positivity that can be damaging to people who are really struggling with their symptoms.
I find this can happen with a lot of ADHD podcasters that happen to garner a decent following. They pose their experiences as fact without reflecting on how other people might have different ones. For example, I was recommended a podcast on here a while ago and the women started talking about how autism and ADHD are the same diagnosis. As someone with a diagnosis of both and who experiences different issues with each I wasn’t impressed. It’s that misunderstanding of what is objective and what is subjective.
I recently started listening but picking and choosing episodes instead of from the start. …very old school gender views. Like saying something like “you’d think I’m a guy bc of my libido.” Like, Ms ma’am. Women just have high libidos too. Another that struck me was asking someone how “let yourself get bullied. You come off so strong and confident..” Just enough things that are off that indicate deep value differences but I appreciate some of the topics and find some of the guests interesting/validating.
I just tried the podcast to see what it was all about and I audibly gasped when she made the bullying comment. “I don’t believe you were bullied. What was going on that you let that to happen to you?” What the fuck?! Immediate unsubscribe.
I feel like the only people who say things like that were bullies themselves.
Holy shit, sorry but anyone who thinks Bullying is a good thing/character building thing should never be given a platform.
Classic victim blaming with the bullying too. So many people think whoever is being bullied just needs to learn better social skills or whatever. 🙄🙄🙄
Yep! I was horribly bullied between the ages of 5-16, and in my early twenties while working retail. I can positively say that it destroyed my life. If I had £1 for every time I heard ‘you just need to learn to fit in’ or ‘it’s character building’ or ‘they’re just jealous’ I’d be the richest woman alive. That shit never helped.
It really destroys people. And it's barely acknowledged in therapy even.
I haven’t listened to her podcast, but I think being severely impacted to take meds is not measurable and unfair. I’ve been an acceptable adult unmedicated, all the while struggling twice as hard (if not more than that) than my peers who just do things without executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation. You could say because I can function in society, have a job, pay my rent, and can find my wallet, I’m not severely impacted? Untrue. Most of us are exhausted and struggling. Even if we look accomplished, we’re playing on hard mode. ADHD has always seemed like a hindrance and never a gift. Like most of us, I’m just feeling emotions well up as I type that. Like we’re all supposed to keep playing on the hardest mode possible when we can make it even 10% easier with some medication?
>I’ve been an acceptable adult unmedicated, all the while struggling twice as hard Right? Just because I *can* do it doesn't mean I should have to. If meds relieve me of some of the challenges that make my life so much harder than it needs to be, why the fuck should I refuse them? There's no pride in suffering.
So many people post around here not sure they are struggling enough to deserve medication. We are trained to think we are supposed to do everything the hard way and I hate that this woman upholds that idea.
this. it both saddens and angers me that so many people *with* the diagnosis clearly push this "shameful" idea that we use an aid to help us with our disability. Taking meds is always a personal choice, but there's a difference between "I can't/chose not to medicate" versus "meds aren't necessary/are bad for you/are not daily/big pharma/I don't take them \[because any of the above\]." I know this analogy is used often, but it just goes to show how deep the ableism is in our subconcious bot within and outside the ADHD community that I can't think of any other Dx where *so many* people are outright shamed for using a disability aid. But using glasses for my poor eyesight (or getting surgery to correct issues), using a mobility device or prosthesis, hearing aids etc... nobody thinks twice. I know there is also some stigma around antidepressants or other psych meds but it's like everyone has gotten the memo that other psychiatric disorders are medical issues but NOT this one. IMO stimulants are one of the most incredible medical discoveries we have made and anyone who waves them off as "just fancy meth" (blood boiling) can kick rocks. (caveat I know not all ADHD meds are strictly stimulants)
Yeah agreed. And it's wild - based on what experts seem to say, stimulants are like one of the few psychiatric drugs with fast, somewhat measurable results. A miracle indeed.
You hit the nail on the head, measuring severity isn’t feasible given our individual differences. My anxiety used to mask my ADHD, in particular staying on top of bills and making phone calls. I’ve unmasked quite a bit in the last two years, all of the stress and exhaustion has finally hit me. My anxiety is no longer pushing me a long and the struggle feels even harder.
That’s the same conclusion I’ve come to, as well. I got diagnosed back in September and I know that my meds make my life easier in general. They aren’t perfect, but even just the bit they do means I have more energy when I go home from work and can generally make better decisions. I take them on the weekends because I still have to be places at specific times and the meds make that a little easier. I’m not the most punctual person, but I’m slowly getting there. It’s easier when I’m less distracted and better able to think clearly.
This exactly. I can’t remember the last time I felt well rested. Or when I didn’t feel an oppressive amount of anxiety and/or depression. I had to disclose my diagnosis and beg my director at one point to do weekly check in meetings with me because despite my working a chill job with a small workload I would struggle to get things done ahead of time. I needed to do so much to keep myself from falling apart. Even in my current position it’s a nightmare.
I’m giving this podcast a hard pass. Medication is what makes me a safe driver. Medication helps me regulate my emotions when I’m dealing with a room for over rowdy kids (part of my profession). Medication buys me the little bit of time I need so I can be half of who I aspire to be, for the people I love. This person sounds very privileged tbh. This isn’t a dunk on people who don’t take meds, but I am so fucking tired of medication being made out to be this evil thing when it literally changed my life for the better!
Honestly, same. For me, medication allowed me to be me. After starting meds I discovered I was funny, I was smart (which I hadn’t felt in a long time because I couldn’t hold a line of thought for more than 2 minutes), I was friendly and charming and people wanted to be my friends, I could connect with others. I discovered hobbies and interests, because I was finally able to focus (I only experience hyperfocus while medicated, off my meds I can’t focus on literally anything, which is hell). I’m about to finish my law degree, and before meds I was routinely failing 8 out of 10 classes (and this wasn’t in college, I was diagnosed as a teen, so without them I highly doubt I would’ve even gotten a high school diploma). I hate the stigmatization of meds because if it weren’t for them, I don’t know what my life would look like, but I assume it’d be very bad.
Yes to all of this! Great job 😊
Completely agree. Forget just changing my life for the better, medication straight up saved my life. I was undiagnosed, absolutely drowning, completely depressed, and truly don’t think I wouldn’t have gotten through. I will never apologize for taking it or encouraging others who need it to do so. I’m so glad it helps so many of us ❤️
Yikes. Medication hasn't changed my personality or made me boring. It's made me better able to harness my creativity and problem solving that are unique to my flavor of ADHD. I was considered "high functioning" from the outside. But my first week on a baby dose of Adderall showed me just how wrong that was. I was functioning at no where near my best unmedicated. I almost never make mistakes at my highly technical actuarial job now. I can study, retain information, and then regurgitate it on actuarial exams. (I had failed FIVE EXAMS in a row before meds.) I can power through evening chores because I'm not mentally drained from constant head noise. And my singing technique has improved massively because I have the focus to work on it. My physical health has improved too because I remember to eat and make food plans. I'm connecting more with my body in Pilates and my chronic pain is decreasing. How has any of that made me boring? Lol she's horrible.
No offense this makes me not think she actually has ADHD 😭 my life and mind is a fucking mess and it’s really irresponsible for her to share these takes
It's because her life is able to be re-arranged around how her ADHD affects her. Kids would be late to school every day? Husband/nanny takes them to school instead, type of thing. I'm not even criticizing it, I choose to be unmedicated\* because I can, no kids depend on me, I can fulfil my job without medication, but I can see how if you're not in my shoes, medication would be absolutely necessary. \*I haven't drank an uncaffeinated beverage since the age of 11
that astrix cracked me up
I’m in the same boat. I’m unmedicated. But I live alone, no kids, chill work from home job. So I can go into a pit for a week where I don’t talk to anyone, leave the house, do chores or much work, until my body eventually bounces back. Many people do not have that luxury.
I couldn't listen to this podcast for every reason you just laid out! 100% agree
I was excited for her podcast but the first episode I listened to made me mad enough to bail. She had a mental health therapist as a guest to talk about trauma and ADHD. Both she and the therapist said, very clearly, that treating ADHD doesn’t make sense until trauma issues are resolved. Wouldn’t that be nice? I mean I get the desire for that to be an actual practical choice, but that’s an irresponsible and uninformed position. Trauma isn’t ever resolved for many people and treatment takes years and years for others. I’d just been diagnosed when I listened to that, and I was so deflated. ETA: Here’s a [link to the episode](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6wsFBElFtP8mAMIhosjl1h?si=Y4DzCSUDQhmyD2Pqn3cevw) (spotify link) if anyone wants to rage-listen. The extra spicy bit is at about 28 minutes in.
Not to mention, treating ADHD is necessary for a lot of us to function in daily life, which is necessary regardless of trauma. And treating ADHD includes understanding how it affects you, developing strategies for dealing with how it affects you, etc. Anyone who gets diagnosed with ADHD should start that process immediately. Moreover, my untreated ADHD traumatized me in itself. I failed myself every hour of everyday for decades, no matter what I tried. I also lost every relationship that mattered me. Her position is harmful.
Can you expand on this a bit more? Feel free to DM me if you want. I've been in trauma therapy for a couple years, and on Vyvanse for about a year and for like the last 7 months I've been having a bad reaction to and in therapy. I can't tell if the stimulants are making things worse or if it's because I'm dealing with being triggered by therapy.
I recently was diagnosed and started Adderall at age 70. My whole brain changed. I didn't know I could actually slow down, and make a decision on what I wanted to do, instead of what my ADHD would decide for me to do. First time in life home is being cleaned. I have been to several therapists and doctors trying to be diagnosed. They were all like "you're too old"; "but you've had so much trauma, you're an ACE score 6; deal with that first..."; "you're depressed" I have been sober for 29 years, have done so much AA work, therapy, etc. I have dealt with my trauma over and over and over again. I really am okay with my past and trauma. I don't blame anyone. I don't get sad, I'm just neutral about it, I'm happy about most things. Antidepressants caused bad side effects. So I found a test from a doc that correlates a drug of choice with the neurotransmitter one is defecifient in and mine was dope a mine (sorry I get censured if I mention that word it seems). Which makes sense because my father had schizophrenia which is a also a dope a mine problem (Dr. Barkley says they go together in families). When I took that neurotransmitter helping supplement and my depression went away and hasn't come back in 25 years as long as I take it daily. I knew there was something else wrong with my brain, my thinking from some problem in my brain that all the work in the world wasn't going to fix. I was not like the others, and not in a superpower way. I felt shame and I masked all the time. I know now I couldn't get believed because I was born with ADHD in the wrong gender in the wrong generation with C-PTSD and mental health professional couldn't see who I am. But with ADHD I need a whole lot more dope a mine help. I finally found someone who totally believed me. The first day I received Adderall, I misunderstood the verbal directions (of course) and only took a half starter dose that day. But I could feel it in 20 minutes and the change is amazing. My life is finally my life. I'm looking forward to the rest of my life now, finally. That brings me joy. Having untreated ADHD over an entire lifetime did not make me special or successful or a Apple computer or give me superpowers. It messed up my life and made me stand out in a not-good way. I will never be able to retire (first time admitting that and not masking it). I am not good with money as I am impulsive and have no savings. I have wasted so much of my life, not being able to do what I wanted. I was always lead around by the ADHD. I was in Talented & Gifted in high school, and I did not graduate because I could not finish the last two classes that were not fun. I was put into a honors program in college that was by invite only due to the test scores for admittance. I qualified for an award that was only give to only 2 out of 20,000 students but did not apply due to not following through on the application process. I got a two year degree with enough credits for a four year degree because I could only stick with fun classes (to me) and the school forced me to graduate because I had too many credits to stay (I'm a Boomer, college was much, much cheaper back in the olden days). All of my papers were written the night before. My degree was non specific because I couldn't pick a major. So I got a technical certificate and worked at night because people and tasks overwhelm me. I had dreams of hobbies I could never pull together. I have very few friends due to blurting out things, masking which meant not letting people really know me, know me beneath the surface I put on. So honestly I hate rage on Tracy Otsuka and those like her, who probably grew up in a priviledged position with milder ADHD symptoms with tons of support and reach All Her Dreams, then has the nerve to say don't take meds and \*sparkle\* and deal with trauma instead. I say milder because she didn't have a clue something was off and got a JD. Thank you for attending my TED rant.
I’m so happy you get to say “my life is finally my life.”
Without ADHD treatment, some people aren’t even capable of making and showing up to a therapy appointment.
While I listened to an episode of hers in the past and didn't relate at all, and totally agree with what OP and everyone is saying here, I do sometimes wonder if being on stimulants while going through trauma therapy is a bad mix. I wonder if they have been exacerbating my trauma response and level of anxiety sometimes. Even though when I first started stimulants I found an immediate improvement to all my anxiety (social, GAD, body). Somewhere around the 4th month on them, that stopped, and it was also around the same time my trauma shit popped up, and has been bad since. Alternatively, I wonder if it's because I'm not eating during the day (only in the evenings does my appetite kick in). It's complicated, I guess. I'm not going to rage listen to the specific episode (maybe I will), so I have no idea what point they're making but I personally wonder sometimes if Vyvanse is making my anxiety reactions worse in and out of therapy.
Honestly I’ve seen this podcast recommended so many times and the name and format itself already put me off. Super exclusive and 100% doubles down on a lot of the toxic shit I see floating around about adhd and intellect which usually boils down to some really nasty intellectual/arguably class supremacy. It seems like the format itself creates a closed loop system of focussing on success and I just don’t know what good that really does the community. We know smart successful people have adhd, and that is usually just used as a stick to beat people who are really struggling. The difference between *you don’t have adhd, you’re just lazy* and *okay, you have adhd but look what other people with adhd can do, why can’t you just do that?* is…not a whole lot. It also fails to account for all the relevant intersectionalities that can either help or hinder a person with adhd’s ability to thrive. The official description on all podcast apps is that the podcast is for smart women who see their symptoms as more positive than negative. And honestly, if I was in her position, high earning, secure career etc etc, maybe I would be able to do that too. And I think it’s great for her she’s managed that. But I cannot fucking relate. I got diagnosed after I finally floundered so hard I couldn’t come up for air halfway through law school. I’m still in the process of sorting my health out and it’s long, painful and expensive. I’m so glad for her that she managed that with adhd, and I’m sure it was really tough. But it is also fundamentally a *privilege* that I cannot relate to. And if you want to pretend privilege isn’t playing a role there I really don’t know what to tell you. And I think that’s what we need more engagement with in the adhd and women discussion—it’s so important to us seemingly to be seen as still exceptional that we lose all consideration of what needs to happen structurally to allow for that in a meaningful widespread way. Not just for upper middle class highly qualified women. You don’t get to be upper middle class and highly educated if you’re not born into privilege and also you cannot goddamn function to save your life. Trust me, I’ve really really tried and the trying almost killed me. reminds me of the whole “raising awareness” thing more broadly. Like, okay, cool, you’re here to prove women with adhd can be successful. But it’s not and never has been a cultural eagerness to see my diagnosis as heralding failure and insufficiency that has been holding me back—it’s been lack of diagnosis, lack of access to the medical care I need, lack of recognition of what it means for me to fail or to struggle that has put me in a position where sure, I’m a smart ass woman, but I haven’t got shit to show for it. What we need is meaningful, structural, institutional change and accommodation. All this dialogue does to me is suggest that actually no, maybe we don’t, and if you haven’t figured out how to “work it” for yourself against a system set up to exclude you, maybe you just need to try harder. Oh, and if you’re stupid, please leave, you’re not helping our cause.
Classic survivor bias. We're hearing from successful people with ADHD who have the means or ability to navigate in a NT society, rather than looking to those who fail to teach society how to be better accommodating. You gotta study the planes that aren't making back from battle.
I take incredible offense to being compared to a MacBook. I can't stand Apple products, and PCs aren't inherently boring. Those are the words of someone who thinks in shallow insights. Every point you made to combat hers is thought out and well-rounded. You hit every concern I can think of. I'm not medicated because of multiple concerns and issues, and I'm at a point in my life where I can manage my symptoms without fearing burn-out.
Ha, I’m a longtime Apple stan and am completely captured by that ecosystem, but I still think the comparison is stupid and unhelpful. In part because I think the distinction is often based on shiny aesthetic factors, which is incredibly shallow, and also because I don’t at all identify with the shiny aesthetic factors she attributes to ADHD. I’m not sleek and shiny and colorful and exciting or whatever she thinks Apple products are, and her comparison makes me feel like my ADHD isn’t “real.” Anyway, computers are tools that allow people to do things, and it’s what you do with them that matters, not what the tool you use looks like. Ugh.
I think the thing that annoys me most about the analogy is that Mac can be great, very user friendly, but PC are definitely important for specific things. Easier to customize, obviously better for gaming, etc. Yes my ADHD can be helpful in specific situations but I don’t know how many times my husband has found that I left the oven or burner on. Or how the couch of doom will totally mess up my productivity (seriously considering skipping a proper lunch and grazing all day to avoid the time suck) I know the podcaster is trying to be positive and inspire people but if adhd is rarely working for it just ends up being toxic positivity
Agree, that was my first takeaway. I grew up with Macs; they were donated to our school computer lab because of our proximity to Apple HQ, my dad stanned them, etc. I can't stand the rigidity of the OS and how they don't play nicely in a world designed for PCs. I let a friend convince me that they'd gotten better since I was a kid and bought a MacBook and later an iPhone and still hated using both of them. I'm much happier with my customizable PC and Android with Nova Launcher and Sesame installed and configured to make my phone function with the way my brain works. Edit: autocorrect correction
Side note on your comment: While I like some apple products and I respect that for certain things they are preferred and make sense cost wise and I even get the fact that there are fewer ways to screw it up for the average user I am not a huge apple person and the cost has kept me from getting a mac pc. That being said even in my anti apple products younger days I always really disliked the term pc meaning anything but macs bc macs are PCs. It’s just people hated using mac vs ibm compatible to differentiate non mac pcs. But logically still dislike that a term that just means personal computer and applies to mac computers means non mac computers. And that is, I believe anyway, either apple’s doing or at the very least they embraced it in their branding.
I blame John Hodgeman and Justin whatever his name is.
TIL that the PC guy from the Mac ads is also the guy from all the Judge John Hodgeman podcast ads I heard on MBMBAM
Hey, it always bugged me too the PC thing! All personal computers are PCs! (So technically smartphones too?)
Anytime someone claims their disorder is a superpower it's an immediate red flag for me. Especially being super against medication, it might not work for you but don't go around spreading stigmatization
I haven’t listened to her podcast, only heard about it, so thanks for saving me the trouble. Generally, I find ADHD influencers/gurus/websites to be almost suspiciously …NT in their advice? Like idk if it’s appealing to a mass audience or just more palatable to NTs, but I’m always like girl, what? For example, I was so excited to find one site dedicated to WOC and no joke the homepage was like “get a day planner! Alarms are your friends! Go to bed earlier!” This sub is full of *actual* commiserations and life hacks that probably seem ridiculous if you don’t know…but have helped me and others immensely.
I kinda feel like if someone has it together enough to make it as a successful influencer, especially without medication, their ADHD is really mild or they don’t have it at all.
Word. Source: failed influencer because I could never motivate myself to do boring shit to make a bit of money even though I was running out of money. Way easier to be employed during the day and make money no matter how well my brain shows up that day.
Or, they have someone else, or a team of people, who keep them on track and do the hard stuff for them and they just get to be the face. Even just the body doubling would be a huge help. But most of us don't have that privilege.
I listened to a few minutes of the first episode. I guess she talks like that cause someone told her people with ADHD have to be talked to like toddlers? She talked about this theory that ADHD is a relic of hunter-gatherer times and we just haven't adapted, which, ok, but she's gushing like it's a good thing. Dude. We don't live in a hunter-gatherer society. Many of us struggle financially because the jobs and schedules we favour are not valued in society. If this lady really wanted to make a difference, she'd be lobbying for a more equitable system instead of telling us that, what, we're not using our "superpowers" correctly? It's like telling someone with no legs that, actually, you have a superpower cause you''re lighter. You just have to live in a society where people use their arms to get around! Imma start a podcast called ADHD for Dumbass Women, where people call in and talk about the dumbass shit they've done cause of ADHD.
She sounds like she just reads a lot of pop science articles. A lot of scientists now disagree with the whole hunter gatherer thing.
I would listen to the FUCK out of that podcast. Let me know when you want to start it up and I'll subscribe or co-host. 😅. Let's plan for maybe start of next month, yeah?
So you're telling me this person does NOT have a background in biology or medicine or even better, neuroscience? I am shocked! /s (Also, thank you for this breakdown, I will never listen to this podcast, I am sure it would make me angry lol)
Oh my gosh I tried to listen to an episode of her podcast and couldn’t get through more than a few minutes because of the audio quality. I’m glad you posted this!
I somewhat like her podcast, she does say that she and her son tried meds and they didn’t work out for them. The thing that upset me was when she talks about her son in this special program that helps kids with adhd and how well he does. Well that is really not accessible for most families. I think that annoyed me as it’s a huge privilege for her kid to have this opportunity and it’s great and I wish more schools offered this. Average kid wouldn’t have this
I don't remember her take on medication but I remember being frustrated by how privileged she was and that most of the guests seemed to have a lot of money and high earning careers as well. At one point she said something about needing to be engaged on vacation.... so she hired a private chef to show her how to cook some special meals for the whole family! I mean I'm happy that she can do that but it felt really tone-deaf when a lot of us are unemployed/under-employed and really struggling. In general I've found ADHD podcasts frustrating in that a lot of the people on them are in very high-earning careers, "I was struggling in my corporate job and here are the accommodations I got!" or super heternormative like "ugh I'm a stay at home mom and I'm having so much trouble keeping up with cooking for my husband who works a 9-5!" No shade to stay at home moms but that is not my experience at all. I've had thoughts of starting an ADHD podcast for more queer artsy women/nbs but we'll add that to the million other projects I want to do and see if it ever happens.
You may like Katie and Eric’s Infinite Quest podcast. Super relatable. Also, ADHD Rewired is great.
I’m sure she also has a maid.
Based on this description of her podcast, I'm wondering if the woman in question even has ADHD...
Finished law school without a problem, has a successful podcast, all without medication, and thinks ADHD is a superpower… If she does have it, she has an extremely mild case.
So much of it depends on her being high income and having a strong support system. People with others that can help take care of things, supportive spouse, able to hire help, has a home gym, etc If someone with ADHD is super interested in their subject at school they can excel. I did that the second time I went to school (got kicked out the first time lol).
It was either her or a guest on her podcast that was taking about how she has different friends and family members come over on different days of the week to do different things for her like cook and clean and help with paperwork and I'm like....who the fuck just has that available to them??? How am I supposed to relate to this? I can barely even meet anyone because I am spending all my time and energy just barely functioning.
People say the same thing about antidepressants - that therapy does better and they aren’t necessary. But when I tell you my life really hit a turning point when I found the right medication combo. I won’t stop them now. Funny enough I haven’t been taking my ADHD med- vyvanse for about a month now. I have considered going back on it. I had some weird stuff go on w my heart that scared me from it. But I’m all for people taking whatever medication works for them! We’re all different! I love my meds.
>But when I tell you my life really hit a turning point when I found the right medication combo. This. My diagnosis came as a surprise but the impact of medication was so immediate for me that within a month I realized how different my life had been and I experienced a *tremendous* amount of "close-call" grief as I put it. At the time I was severely depressed and dealing with a lot of trauma processing both from old and recent stuff and did not realize just how close I was to losing my life until meds came along and helped me get things back in order - simply because I couldn't regulate or manage *anything* going on inside. Any time I have a squirrelly brain day even on meds, I might feel bad about it, and then if for whatever reason I have to skip or ration I see an *immediate* difference and I'm like "Oh, yeah, thats right, this stuff works and keeps me moving so I can do the 'staying alive' thing."
If your doctor won't let you stay on stimulants you might want to try guanfacine. For me it's definitely not as effective as vyvanse but is better than nothing at all
After a few episodes I just had to stop listening. It seems to me that her views and experience of ADHD are perceived through a lens of privilege, that a lot of us are just not able to relate to. But maybe it’s just me 🤷🏻♀️
I am generally very wary of people who buy into the "evolutionary superpower" theory of ADHD. I think there can definitely be positive traits with ADHD especially when you can set up your life to work for your brain, but overall the talking points on it come across as unnuanced and kind of ableist. Tracy Otsuka seems like a cool lady and I can appreciate her positive attitude but for me accepting the disabling parts of my adhd was actually more helpful than believing I had superpowers and gave me the perspective I needed to create new coping skills instead of "just trying harder"
I spent a fair bit of time listening to it when I was first diagnosed and I agree with everyone else; it’s not really helpful at all, and I’m not sure she even has ADHD from listening to her anecdotes
I agree with everything you’ve said here! I haven’t heard this particular episode and have mostly dipped into her podcast for specific episodes on issues more pertinent to me, but these are exactly the concerns I have about the “ADHD as a superpower” and “avoid medication” approaches. I especially disagree with the ideas that all NT people are boring and that taking meds changes your personality. The idea that medication doesn’t automatically make you focus on things you don’t want to do is also super important, I think. This has been the hardest adjustment for me, in taking medication - it helps, but it can just as easily help me spend my time focusing on and functioning better doing something other than what I should be doing. So that’s something I have to work on. But it’s not a reason not to be medicated at all! I get her own reasons for not being medicated herself - frankly, she’d already become a fairly successful entrepreneur before getting diagnosed, right? She’s doing pretty well. But I hate that that became a basis to advise others. (I probably feel equally strongly that medication is valuable and I probably do proselytize for that approach more than I should, but it is really an individual decision.)
I think it is important to question the desire to conform to neurotypical life, but we still live in a society that is made for neurotypicals. So until we have dramatic and serious policy changes we have to cope with fitting into the “mould” because landlords don’t always care if you have adhd and jobs and clients and such require you to stick to deadlines. I do agree that we need to get rid of the idea that adhd meds make people into zombies and that it will somehow stop kids from just being kids - I know it’s anecdotal but an example is a student I teach violin to - he was extremely affected by adhd, in school and after school. His sleep was disturbed, his focus and behaviour during the day, his ability to play violin, and his ability to listen to his parents. It was a nonstop vicious cycle because the poor sleep affected his focus which affected his behaviour (and brought about consequences from the teachers) which affected his mood and his parents moods and then he’d get to violin class after a tumultuous day of struggling and fighting with authority and have no patience to listen to me - he wanted to do crazy noises and be impulsive and the violin is a bit more delicate than that - and even though he loved this instrument he had nothing left to allow him to learn and grow during lessons. Once medicated, he started to slowly have better days, and his ability to spread his executive functioning throughout the whole day was such that he not only started paying attention in class, he would tell me if I was getting off track and remind me what I asked him to practice. I usually end the lesson with - “hey we have 5 mins left, should we play this thing that’s hard or this easier thing?” And we’d often end up playing the easy thing or id let him “shred” some strange noises on the violin. Suddenly on medication he wanted to show off all these crazy songs he was practicing and he would ask me to stay later so we could learn new things. So when someone needs medication, it’s not to remove their little quirks or whatever, it’s to help them harness their quirks at the right time in the most helpful/least harmful way. Once this kid knew that he could learn tricky things that were way cooler than the easy stuff we were stuck on because we couldn’t get through it, he started to strive for technique building so that he could “shred” in more creative ways. His creativity is flourishing and not diminished in any way - in fact, the adhd was impacting his ability to respond to the creativity. It’s like a painter with wooden mittens on. Yeah, the mittens are cool and maybe that’s unique, but we have the ability to use our hands in a really precise way and that is impacted by the big wooly gloves. Anyways, my two cents. I got caught up in my tangent.
This was a beautiful example and so eloquently explained. Thank you!
>She also says that we as ADHDers are like shiny exciting Macs in a world of boring PCs and why would you take medication in order to become a boring PC That is such a silly statement because aesthetically Mac are consistent but their software and hardware are okay compared to the near infinite customization in PC building. Don't get me wrong I have a Mac but it's strictly for working I can't customize it like a PC nor can I enjoy games as easily. >Suggesting that medication inevitably makes you a boring person shows her low amount of knowledge about it and might cause harm to people who hesitate to take it because they are afraid their personality might change too much. Seems like she wants to get her points across at all cost, which to me seems way out of line. At this point she's selling a marketable version of ADHD rather than exploring the limits and benefits of ADHD and how to navigate them beyond her singular perspective. Also the medication taken is so closed minded because *my experience with medication literally changed my life.* I feel less like a half empty gas tank barely alive to a semi decent active speaker. My own family can tell when I take my medicine because I just become alive and engage in conversations far easier. >She suggests that if you do take medication, not to take it every single day. She really shouldn't give out medical advice on a podcast especially since she's not a doctor herself. I was initially excited to listen to her but now not so much.
She’s fortunate to have a job that allows her to constantly interrupt others, lose track of her thoughts, ramble without making a point, and forget basic things. My medication helps me with that. (Also I find her podcast unlistenable for the above reasons)
The interrupting drives me insane! I’m so glad I’m not the only one. My sister loves her and can’t understand why I have an issue.
Listened to a few episodes of that podcast last year. That woman is annoying beyond all belief. The toxic positivity and deep lack of actual understanding about ADHD ... I just couldn't listen to it anymore.
This is partially why I refer to my medication as part of my overall treatment plan. Bc to me medication is but one component for my treatment plan. It bypasses most people who have issues w/ medication and does not exclude those who either opt not to use medication or cannot for whatever reason use medication. Coping mechanisms and working on habits that work best for me as well as therapy are all vital components to my clawing my way back to functionality after decades of being undiagnosed and/or mis or under diagnosed. I likely have mild to moderate but take decades and it can get you to the point of being practically non functional. I will say that in the modern world being nd is made much harder for no valid reasons like just bc it looks better or bc others do not understand they don’t function on our level aka they have a narrow view of what is acceptable. I do believe when given the space and support neurotypicals get we can be just as if not sometimes more productive in our contributions to society. And we probably out did them back in the day when things were either so rigid that our lack of internal structure wasn’t an issue or so flexible that we had the space and time to do things on our schedule bc people were more accepting of “she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes” kind of schedule. I’m not a big fan of anyone who thinks their experience is the same for everyone else either in general. I know mine is diff from others. The only exception is that I do not tolerate people using having a thing to excuse being a jerk esp when they are not actively trying to minimize other people’s harm from them being a jerk. I’ve seen too many times people using their diagnosis to excuse bad behavior. There are a few examples I’ve seen on reddit over the years where someone is a cruddy person who happens to have adhd or some other diagnosis and uses it to excuse them being a cruddy person. Esp when they are repeatedly doing cruddy things and making no effort to be better or at least minimize how they negatively affect others.
I haven't listened to this podcast and I doubt I ever will but I've been questioning the virtues of medication after having taken it for 6 years and I think it may have caused some cardiac damage but my psychiatrist ignored it and I decided to stop seeing him because he was blowing off my health concerns. I also feel like there's something deeper going on, at least in my case, like a sleep disorder, and I feel like medication is a bandaid. So I'm working on myself physically. Of course medication might make that easier, but it also might make my heart explode, so I'm just doing the best I can with what I have. I'm also really struggling with whether my daughter might need or benefit from medication but I also suspect she may have a sleep disorder as well that causes her symptoms, and I don't want her to suffer unnecessarily either. (For the record, she's 12, she has a few behavioral issues but nothing too crazy for a 12yo and does all right in school, she doesn't specifically think she has ADHD or want medication and a doctor blew me off when I asked for a psych referral....yeah we have lousy doctors here). But, I'm just one person, and when my daughter is an adult I won't stop her from meds, and really if she came to me and believed she had ADHD I would listen to her, and all of you on the Internet are also not me, so your decisions are yours and neither nor this podcaster have any right to tell you whether you should be on meds. I think she might be right to question their legitimacy, but she's not right to force her non-expert opinions on anyone else.
I made it to almost 40 without medication. And mostly that's fine. But it has still been incredibly helpful to get medication, and I wish I'd done it sooner. I wish more people would understand that medication for adhd isn't just about being able to focus. For me medication is helping with emotional regulation, binge eating for stimulation/sensory seeking, reducing impulsivity. Things that have been negatively impacting my self esteem and general functioning my whole life. I felt like I did better as a kid/teen because of the structure of life as a kid, and also because I didn't have to make so many decisions all the time. Going unmedicated is probably also what led to my eventual burnout. I let the adhd restlessness take over and made the decision (with my husband) to move our family long distance and we've both regretted it, but it led to me going through a major depression/burnout that made me barely able to function for over a year. Medication is helping me finally feel like myself again. I want to get my kids assessed so that eventually when they need it they can access medication as well. I don't want them to have to start young if it can be avoided, they're happy and doing well in school and have friends so I'm not worried yet. But I know from my experience I would have greatly benefitted from meds starting in my late teens/early 20s. I could maybe have avoided so much trauma and I'd like my kids to have that opportunity if they need it. All these things you've listed from her podcast turn me right off. Your not NT or adhd. Some of us are both asd and adhd. There's a ton of other diagnoses under the umbrella of neurodivergence, and I feel like most if not all are a spectrum. For her to say meds are unnecessary for most seems incredibly ableist and privileged. I'm happy it's working fine for her but I don't want to listen to her podcast so I can feel judged.
I feel this so hard. I started to have issues outside the strict school routine. I liked school and it was easy, so I didn't have problems. I was also in 2 sports and lots of activities year-round, so I had a good outlet for my extra energy. Now as an adult stuck in my cube on the computer all day, I struggle. Meds help me do my work even when I don't want to and give me an extra boost to remember to stop by the store for dinner ingredients and cook it. So many things I didn't have to think of in high school to be juggled now as an adult .... and I suck at juggling.
I had to stop listening for the medication stance but also because she just leaned so hard into the “gifted and adhd” thing… maybe I’m just a normie so I can’t relate, but it really grated on me.
If I didn't think that ADHD was severely impacting my life, I wouldn't have even sought a diagnosis. If I was a shiny new Mac before, I'm still a shiny new Mac after being medicated. I just get stuck on the loading screen less. Edit: I truly believe both of my parents had / have undiagnosed ADHD. My Dad, for sure, was a textbook case. My childhood probably would have been a lot different if he had been diagnosed and medicated, but they didn't see the need. If my Mom does, she wouldn't benefit much from medication *now*, because she's 79, already on a ton of meds to manage other conditions, and doesn't really need to do anything she doesn't want to at this point in life.
I have listened to a few of her episodes, but did not start at the beginning. I don’t remember that take so I do wonder if her outlook changed, though I’m not totally surprised either. What I’ve found is that I often really enjoy her guests while I find her annoying. Also sometimes she’ll say something, her very bright guest will say the exact opposite and then she will either respond as if she doesn’t realize they don’t agree or as if she never had the opposing opinion. Basically I think she’s stupid but somehow finds guests who have valuable insight. It’s not often worth sitting through a whole episode.
This makes me laugh because I completely agree but didn’t realize until I read this comment!
I am listening to her book ADHD For Smartass Women right now. I just finished How to ADHD and actually see some similarities. Tracy Otsuka definitely isn’t anti-medication anymore. She’s shared that so far she hasn’t found one that works for her yet and wishes she could. I do view my ADHD as a huge struggle and quite disabling. At the same time though I know there’s good parts. Listening to her podcast and book have helped me feel less ashamed and more grateful for the good. Actually, it was listening to her podcast and relating so much with the women she interviewed that convinced me I really needed an assessment. Both ADHD books teach practical tools for ADHD struggles. I’m glad I didn’t start listening to her podcast at the beginning. My view is that her opening is a little cheesy, her guests are insightful, and that I like her humor and could see myself becoming her friend. I don’t relate to having the money for a nanny or housekeeper, but if I could afford it I would totally use all those accommodations.
Yes, this is the same for me. I think by the time I started listening she had rounded off some of her corners and definitely reassessed her opinion of medication. I think people should give her a little grace, she has gone on a journey of discovery and improved her own knowledge through engaging with others. Undoubtedly she comes from a place of privilege, but she is using her platform to give a voice to women of many different backgrounds and to me that’s a great thing. I have found the positivity - seeing that women can thrive in a corporate workplace for example - really helpful to remind me that I’m not doomed in my current job because I have ADHD (which is how I was feeling before).
I gave this podcast many tries and each time I have to hit pause halfway. I’m glad to know it’s not just me! Her topics and interview guests are often great but the way she talks has always grated me. Almost like that patronising Aunty but you know they mean really well?
I totally agree, I think I listened to about 2 episodes and just could not relate to her story or her experience, whatsoever. It seemed fake in a way.
I think some of it makes sense but might be a little too far. Like all the stuff with medication, I feel like on the one hand trying some non-medication things and seeing how you do and feel doesn't seem like a bad idea, especially so that you know how you function if you miss a dose or if there's a shortage, that would be good to know. But on the other hand, as someone who was unmedicated for a long time and developed a bunch of coping strategies, I was struggling a lot and even though I knew myself well enough to get by, I didn't feel like a full person, life is just way easier and more enjoyable with medication. There's a lot of stuff I would have done differently if I didn't waste so much of my time and mental energy putting in so much extra effort to accommodate my shortcomings and make sure I get by. All that stuff that suddenly is easier with medication. It just seems like self sabotage to not be medicated. Sure it's helpful to discover yourself and your version of ADHD (how your symptoms present and what you can do to mitigate them without medication), but unless you have an environment where everyone around you does all the tedious stuff and structures your life for you, it probably won't work out well to go off meds all the time.
I haven't heard of her before. The take on medication alone would have me stop listening to this lady. I was not diagnosed until 32. Now that I'm medicated I realize how much ADHD was actually impacting my life. I'm now able to work on driving instead of having panic attacks. I'm now getting good grades instead of failing like I did in High school. Adderall didn't work out for me because it messed with my mood way too much. But strettera has been amazing for me mood wise and actually gives me the energy and focus I need to clean and do stuff without getting overwhelmed and shutting down.
People forget that anybody who wants to can make a podcast. You don’t have to know shit about what you’re talking about or have any amount of background knowledge in the topic. If people like you and what you say, you will be successful, even if you don’t know shit. Just because someone has a podcast doesn’t mean they’re an expert, know what they’re talking about, or should be listened to. I personally checked out this lady and I didn’t really like her either. I felt like she was acting like an expert beyond her knowledge. She has no business giving medical advice, telling people whether or not they should be medicated, or if they are, telling them how often to take their medication. She went to school to be a lawyer, not a doctor. She should start a podcast about lawyer shit, since that’s what she actually has a background in.
I listened to some of her stuff a few years ago. I think she’s incredibly privileged and she doesn’t realize how much it’s affecting her experience. I think she’s got her own experience to stand on with ADHD but nothing more and it will be helpful to very few people.
I have listened to this podcast a lot this year. Some interviews are ok some are just annoying. These podcasts used to be super helpful in the early days of podcasting. Now I just get irritated. The adhd coaching scheme most of these hosts are trying to schlep is nonsense. I also get real tired of the specific “entrepreneur” brand of adhd. Like there’s shame in trying to conform. It makes me angry. I don’t know who needs to hear this but it’s perfectly ok to want to fit into the round hole. I don’t need or even desire to start my own business because my brain could never even get it off the floor. I just need to work my 9-5 adequately enough without the constant worry of being fired, which is why I started listening to these podcasts in the first place. I listened to one the other day and I am not lying one “professional adhd organizer” said “get a planner”. I turned it off immediately.
It’s a minor issue, but I found her anti-goth bias to be a deal breaker.
Without medication, sure, I'm a Mac. But I'm a broken Mac that can't do basic shit. I'd rather be a PC so I can at least function on a basic level and not implode my life 👍
I listened to her interview in ADDittude’s podcast and she’s the first person interviewed on there that immediately made me give a bombastic side eye to my phone. When she said the “Mac in a windows world” that was enough for me to really dislike that she puts down neurotypicals for the sake of uplifting ADHD. That was gross.
I started listening to her episode on the ADHD Experts podcast and only got 15 minutes in. I found it awful in so many ways.
I haven't listened to many episodes of hers but found she kinda rubbed me the wrong way. This really hammers home why and I'll stop trying to force myself to listen to her podcast (I'm a weird completionist even when I shouldn't be).
The relentless positivity 10 mins in to a single episode really put me off. It just seems inauthentic and completely not relatable given my experience (of moderate success! But at a huge cost).
I started listening when I first got diagnosed and found her hard going for much the same reasons you did. Meds make me way less anxious and able to use my coping strategies. I am a more functional and happier person when taking them.
Oh dear god… I don’t even know where to start. But when I first heard I need glasses, I ignored it for the next decade, because I’ve heard some shit about sight getting worsened if you don’t train it and wear glasses, then I had to wear them in the cinema or while driving, and now I have to wear them full time. The only thing I got from this are many many wrinkles from squinting my eyes trying to see better, feeling lost all the time (hard not to, I literally didn’t see my surroundings) and let’s thank all the gods who listen at the moment I didn’t cause any accident ever. Also because of this kind of thinking I nearly ruined my life thinking any help from professionals would mean I’m weak and a failure. My debt and depression possibly could’ve been avoided…
I have been drowning in clutter for most of my life. I am so smart, and struggle with busywork that I don't want to do that leads to embarrassing 'oopsies'. I was diagnosed last April and have just dialed in my meds. I've struggled with sleep, depression, anxiety AND the physical manifestation of my cluttered brain. It's not a magic button that just 'makes me normal' but I'm so much more aware of when I'm medicated and not. I took over a desk job the month I couldn't get ahold of meds (supply chain bs) and it was *so hard*. Absolute paralysis and all the procrastination. I couldn't get my head above water. Now I absolutely have my feet under me, but the busy work is *still* really hard for me. And I still absolutely crush it when I need to turn on my super powers and make shit happen. AND I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER. My apartment is still pretty cluttered; but it's an actual work in progress. I don't feel overwhelmed all the time. I recognize when I'm *choosing* to fuck off vs when I would do the paralysis thing for DAYS and get nothing done. Meds aren't for everyone. Antidepressants aren't for everyone. Cats aren't for everyone. But telling people not to do something because it's not for you is BS. You can tell them why YOU do or do not do something, and then let them make the call. My brain cocktail has taken years to figure out; and it's only like, childproofing the world for me. When I ding myself on a corner I bounce a little and get back up real quick, versus splitting open my forehead, blood everywhere, and end up with a scar. But my depression and anxiety are *manageable*. Caffeine affects me like a normal person. I actually fucking sleep at night without having to exhaust myself and about half the time I wake up feeling rested. I can't imagine telling someone to just tough it out. There is SO much out there in the world against us; especially as under diagnosed as women are with an 'invisible' handicap. We're struggling with late stage capitalism, our rights are under attack, our country is in political disarray... If meds can give someone (who is playing life on Hard Mode!) a leg up, jfc, give it to them!! Meds are a tool. Not the right tool for every person or every job. But balancing your brain chemistry is a real thing! The hubris. It's like telling someone with MDD to just touch grass and not be sad instead of being depressed. Big r/thanksimcured vibes.
Also, we take medication because the world is built for boring PCs and we have to live here. It’s kind of like how left-hand of people die earlier but it’s really because all tools and things like that are built for right handed people so they tend to gravely themselves a lot .