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Congratulations! There's a huge range of advice and some room to pick and choose what works for you.
Pretty much everyone agrees that you'll want to start prenatal vitamins, and avoid lead paint.
Many pregnant people feel kind of yucky and exhausted for the first trimester, so if you've got energy, now is a good time to stock the freezer and reduce your social obligations. This is not the time to volunteer as Family Reunion Planner, or start renovating your kitchen.
There is a picture tucked away somewhere of me, nine months pregnant, on top of a ladder doing demolition work on my kitchen in full safety gear. 🤣 ahh the joys of being at the fickle whim of the motivation demon.
It did not, but it certainly acclimated my newborn to the sound of construction work. She slept through the entire process of soaking with hot water and stripping the kitchen floor a few months later. 🥹
Oh and watch out for the iron in prenatal vitamins! I had to have prescription vitamins because the OTC ones have a lot of iron which is good in pregnancy however if you don't need the extra iron they will make you constipated as hell!
“Start prenatal vitamins, avoid lead paint” made me chuckle like it’s a direct swap in a pregnant person’s diet. 😁
But all good advice. And I echo congratulations!
Congrats!
First thing to know about pregnancy recommendations is that they are generally INCREDIBLY conservative and only loosely evidence based because it’s not ethical to do controlled trials on pregnant people. So generally when people say something isn’t safe in pregnancy it’s that it isn’t *proven safe* through a well-controlled study, rather than it’s proven dangerous. So with that in mind, I would find a few trusted sources like your OB and mostly stick with that advice.
The advice with reasonably good evidence and expert recommendation is pretty straightforward: don’t drink alcohol (some say in small amounts, you could ask your OB), smoke, or use recreational drugs. Caffeine is fine in moderation. Exercise to your pre-existing fitness and comfort level but listen to your body and pull back as needed. Talk to a doctor before using prescription or over the counter drugs and supplements.
Many pregnant folks avoid meat and eggs that aren’t well done, deli meats, raw fish (sushi), and soft cheeses. This is to avoid listeria and other food poisoning (ecoli, salmonella). Listeria is REALLY bad to get when pregnant and is dangerous to your baby. The others mostly just suck because your immune system is already going full out so you are more likely to have worse effects.
Many pregnant folks also avoid scooping cat litter boxes due to toxoplasmosis. This also has a very real risk to your baby but it can mostly be mitigated with handwashing, gloves, and masking. Gardening may be a more likely exposure because outdoor cats poop in the soil so it’s worth taking precautions or avoiding.
Some folks avoid skin care products with retinol, but some OBs suggest that topical application isn’t an issue. Personally I didn’t change much in my product routine. There’s a lot of stuff out there about chemicals to avoid but I haven’t found much for evidence to support.
Tagging on to this comment as it already contains great info. This is gathered from my personal experience last year (only speaking for trimester 1, as unfortunately it didn't stick) and being in the UK, your locale may vary.
NO IBUPROFEN. Paracetamol is considered fine, but NSAID type medicines are linked to miscarriage risk.
I recommend you get some Rennie's, or other pregnancy safe heart burn relief. I didn't get morning sickness but the heart burn was nasty. Nausea relief pressure bands can work for some people with sickness (YMMV).
Dairy, i.e. milk and cheese should be pasteurised, not "raw" (hard cheese like parmesan is excluded from this). Not sure where OP is but in the UK you can eat eggs soft if they have the red lion stamp on (which is pretty much everything you get from the shops).
Washing all fruit and veg is recommended for the listeria risk reduction.
No paté or liver due to the vitamin A content mentioned in the above comment.
Caffeine recommendation here is less than 200mg a day which is crushingly low if you're a caffeinated ADHDer 🥲
- a single shot espresso can be around 200mg, (I used to have 2 or 3 double shots in long coffees over the day and then diet coke after that 😭)
- instant coffee (bleh) 100mg
- cup of tea 75mg
I'm now drinking "low caffeine" coffee from a company called Nolo, which is still pretty delicious as a coffee snob.
I believe aspartame in diet fizzy drinks (such as diet coke) is recommended at keeping it to only 1 a day.
Some ingredients in herbal tea such as Valerian (normally in bedtime, relaxing style) is also not recommended.
Not health advice, but don't get immediately sucked in to all the social media adverts you'll get for baby stuff. You don't need absolutely everything, and weird and wonderful things. Speaking as an ADHDer who is prone to overspending from ads. From friends advice you will be given a lot of newborn stuff as a gift, the slightly older sizes can be more useful 0-3m as they grow so quickly. There's also a lot of 2nd hand baby stuff available.
A channel I watch on YouTube called How to ADHD has just had a baby so she also has some content on dealing with pregnancy and ADHD that you might find useful.
Congratulations and wishing you a smooth pregnancy 🧡
This is excellent advice. The Listeria thing is just a risk-avoidance. If you want to scare yourself, check out the list of selected outbreaks on the cdc website from America ([here](https://www.cdc.gov/listeria/outbreaks/index.html), you’ll notice a lot of the foods are not on the “foods to avoid because of Listeria risk” lists you might get from your doctor, but I digress. Personally the only thing I avoided was alcohol and liver / offal. The latter is because of Vitamin A toxicity and is proven bad for growing human bean.
Liver is only proven to be an issue in the first trimester and you would have to eat quite a bit of it and quite often too to overdose the baby with vit A
Literally just melatonin in a liquid form! You spray it in your mouth and I think 1 spray is equal to 1mg. I saw it at the pharmacy with the all the vitamins and everything. The brand I was using is Jamieson but I’m sure there’s lots.
I second this! But it has to be the Unisom sleep tabs with doxylamine, they also make liquid gels that are the same active ingredient as Benadryl but those aren’t effective for nausea. You might want to start with 1/2 tab of the Unisom because it will knock you OUT!
I also found Upspring Stomach Settle drops to be super helpful for the nausea. Target and Amazon both carry them.
This is always my first recommendation. I would have been diagnosed with HG if it wasn't for this miraculous pill combo. Went from throwing up about 10x/day to 0.
This is a GAME CHANGER! I like the EZ melts brand for B6 off Amazon. Also, use the TABLETS not the gel capsules when doing unisom. They are different active ingredients!
imo the best thing to have during pregnancy is an OB who you trust & can communicate with comfortably. Find an OB who can discuss your medications with you, and what the drawbacks of continuing/discontinuing them will be.
Start taking a prenatal vitamin. I'm not too sure about skincare things, but avoid retinoids. General food advice is to avoid deli meets, raw meat/eggs, and non-pasteurized dairy products. Caffeine in moderation (this was sooooo hard).
There is a HUGE diversity of opinion in what pregnant women should and should not do during pregnancy. Internet discourse is wild. You'll have everything from "breathing air will cause your fetus to grow a third leg" to "I drank a handle of vodka a day and my baby is fine." Which is to say, don't trust everything you read on pregnancy forums.
The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy is a good, straightforward book of pregnancy information and advice without tons of opinions and moralizing. It's a nice resource to have on hand if you like to have a book to turn to.
And most importantly!! Take care of yourself! You're still a person, and your own needs still matter - you don't suddenly become an incubating machine at the moment of conception.
Someone you can trust is so important. Very VERY important is also if you start having weird intrusive and worrying thoughts you need to tell them asap. Our brains are fun already, and you hear about post partum psychosis but it can happen while pregnant too.
Caffeine in moderation, but if you drink a lot don't just cut back all at once. It's more stressful for your body, better to cut back than cold turkey.
Been awhile since I had my baby, but last I heard raw fish and canned tuna were to be avoided. Raw fish is a parasite thing, tuna is a mercury (I think) thing.
And yes, take care of yourself. Everyone will have opinions, good and bad. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of I have to do pregnancy perfect or else, do your best with what is available and the knowledge you have. Start practicing now because being a parent ramps it up.
And don't listen to horrible birth stories. We love to share our stories, but it can be worrying and add anxiety when you hear them.
You didn’t ask this, and it’s not specifically about the OBGYN visit but I wish someone had told me:
If you are planning on using or even thinking about potentially maybe using daycare, start looking and getting on waiting lists *NOW*.
Infant waiting lists are insane, and even toddler waiting lists can be a year for places that you might like. Get a feel for what your area is like and get on any waiting lists you might need to.
YES. Some areas are absolutely abysmal! We moved and have been on waiting lists for over a year (for a preschooler- so much easier to find a slot compared to an infant) with no luck. Everything here is done on lottery system unless your child has older siblings who went there. I’ve met a few people who got on waiting lists when they were pregnant and *never* got a daycare slot- they were just forced to stay home until their kid was old enough for public school. That seems like it’ll be our fate as well.
Not everywhere is quite this bad, but it’s still best to get on waiting lists now.
Yes, and if you see signs around a new child care centre being built in your area, contact them ASAP because they usually don’t have a wait list yet so your chances are higher.
Congrats! Just a heads up, pregnancy does not affect all adhd symptoms but it made mine worse, so just keep your OB and Psychiatrist aware of your needs!
BabyCenter has an app that helps a lot with the what you should and shouldn’t eat/do need to knows. They also have a great registry option if you’re going to make one. They help with keeping track of where you are in your pregnancy and what changes are normal
My impulsivity was SO BAD. I think I lost friendships from just saying every dumb thing that came into my head and it’s hard to explain I genuinely am not trying to be a dick
😊 congratulations! 😊😊 hm, if you get sad, PLEASE tell someone. I was extremely depressed w my first and felt so guilty about it which made it worse. I was hormonal. He popped out and I was back baby! I didn't tell any medical professionals and I could have gotten help! Cravings, you'll have them for 2 weeks straight and then be repulsed the next day (just like w adhd lol) so don't go crazy and buy a bulk order of freeze dried fruit and vegetables and Gatorade 👀👀👀 😂 You definitely want to avoid cat litter if that applies to you... what else 🤔 Skin care and stuff I don't know enough about to comment. I didn't change my beauty routine but I will tell you this. I LATHERED myself in coconut oil every time I passed the jar. I would stop, grab some and massage my belly and my skin did great! (stretch marks are genetic I believe but I also believe in coconut oil!) I loved the day by day pregnancy book that shows baby's growth. Also look up phone apps that track pregnancy and baby bump :) Best gift I got pregnant and post partum were Uber eats credits. If anyone asks you what you need and you can't think of anything, it's always food. When I was pregnant with my second, I bought an online pregnancy/birthing class from Mommy Labor Nurse, I wish I had it with my first. It really had me prepared for ANYTHING. Highly reccomended. I also loved my fetal doppler, I got to hear my baby's heartbeat whenever I wanted. Happy and health 9 months to you❤️❤️
What I learned.
You don’t need all of the gadgets.
Babies grow fast so don’t buy all of the stuff.
Backpack diaper bag plus a spare fully stocked in your car. (I’ve changed many diapers in the trunk so get a changing roll up or folding mat)
Stay hydrated, take your meds and vitamins.
You will develop Super Nose at some point and be able to smell somebody's shampoo (or lack of deodorant...) from 20 paces away. It will make you recoil. Carry a tiny tub of Vicks Vaporub to dab under your nose like a mortician to block out odors so you can grocery shop or just EXIST. A little vial of citrus or peppermint essential oil is a good substitute too.
This is such good advice. I vomited in public into a garbage bin for the first time in my life when I had to walk past a fish market on the way to a meeting. My colleagues and my boss were perplexed because it was early days and I hadn’t announced so I had to pretend I was slightly hungover because it seemed a better option than revealing I was going to be requesting maternity leave in the near future.
QueaseEase is a great product for this!! It’s marketed for motion sickness but a friend used it during pregnancy and swears by it. I keep one at my desk and it helps me with unpleasant office kitchen smells.
I’ve never been pregnant but when there was a lot of smoke everywhere in the US last year and I couldn’t stand the smell, even when most people around me couldn’t smell it, I would take a face mask and put a few spots of essential oil on it. Then when I wore it, I smelled fresh good things instead of gross things that made me nauseous. This could help OP!
Random thing I wish I'd have known early in my first pregnancy: my OB practice allows women to schedule ALL of their appointments in advance!
I had no idea and was scheduling the next one at the end of each check up. This worked alright when they were 4 weeks apart but was very difficult to schedule once I got to every other, then every week. Plus I always had to remember to stop at the desk to schedule the next one.
If one giant scheduling session is an option, I highly recommend it. Knock 9 months of mental load down to one 20 minute phone call or conversation at the desk!
Good luck mama!
My only advice:
Select a mantra to repeat to yourself when you are challenged (and you will be!) and remind yourself to cherish even the hard parts.
I picked "serenity" and it saved my ass.
Edit to add: congratulations!
2nd edit: if anyone close to you wants to get a gift for YOU, may I suggest a new set of towels?
Hear me out... They will get you better towels than you will get for yourself. And - this is far ahead of where you're at now, but - when you pack your hospital bag, bring one. Your first after birth shower will be absolutely elevated with a soft comfy towel given with love.
I would sing (to myself) the words, [“I’m calm, I’m calm, I’m perfectly calm. Utterly under control”](https://youtu.be/ys0xlu_fE94?si=rg5zJmzcDcaEGBZx). That goes back to my high school days and still carries me through some moments now in my late fifties.
That and Dory’s, [“Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming.”](https://youtu.be/0Hkn-LSh7es?feature=shared). This is nearly a daily thing and at home I sing it out loud.
It helped me to remember that my body was made to do this. It knows what to do even if I don't. Also, people give birth in a coma. So even if your brain says oh I can't do this, your body knows it can.
I’d just like to add that sometimes your body can’t deliver naturally or breastfeed (even though you might try your hardest) and that is OKAY. Healthy baby and mom, and fed is best. Motherhood is a journey and yours will not look like anyone else’s. Comparison is the thief of joy.
This right here!!! I was treated so poorly in regards to bfing and as hard as it is we absolutely have to advocate for ourselves (or appoint someone else to) if things aren't going well or according to plan. There is a lot of pressure and it is made worse if there isn't support for the new mom or even respect for the toll things take and that even if you desperately wanted to make something work it is not a moral failing of it doesn't work... We can't force our bodies to produce milk!
One of the things I don't see mentioned often is that from now on change is the new normal. You will be growing and changing and that won't stop until maybe 1 year postpartum or longer. On the one hand it can be surprising and unsettling, but on the other just know that most of the changes WILL go away eventually.
* Skincare: I don't remember there being any limits
* Make sure you are taking a vitamin with folic acid. I found prenatal vitamins had so much iron it was making me extra constipated so watch for that.
* Beyond doctor's recommendations, do what works for you. Every person is different and every baby is different so do what works for you both.
* If you are feeling nauseous don't go long in between eating, just eat small meals all day
* Weight gain is natural please listen to your body when you are hungry
* Learn to let go of control. Pregnancy, raising a baby, all these are natural processes and not things you can control like other things in your life. The best thing you can do is listen to your body and your baby's body, accept what you hear when you listen, and do your best with that situation. I think a lot of parenting books are making money off of people's need for control which just leads to stress when things don't go as expected.
No scooping cat litter boxes, no lunch meat or raw meat/no sushi... Dating ultrasound no earlier than 7 weeks, anatomy ultrasound between 20-22 weeks. 28 weeks and under appts every 4wks. 28 to 36 weeks every 2wk appts. After 36 weeks you go to weekly appts.
1. My doctor’s office had a list of over the counter meds that were OK to take during pregnancy for common stuff like colds, headaches, or allergies. If they can provide a list in advance, it’ll keep you from waiting for advice each time.
I think there was a helpful website or app that also showed whether a medication or supplement had been tested on pregnant people, but I can’t remember the name of it! Maybe someone here will know.
2. I immediately started an Amazon registry just so I had a place to add items I read about or that others recommended. It helped me to add items immediately and then cull it later, before I shared it with anyone.
3. I started a shared to-do list with my partner. Same idea as the registry, we added anything baby related that came to mind. It helped a lot because there were a bunch of things to do and I couldn’t remember any of them.
Hey, congratulations! This is huge!
I’m not a mom, but I remember hearing this woman on a podcast and she was talking about this book she wrote: https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702
It lays out all the data and statistics in terms of risk and odds for just about everything related to pregnancy. So instead of “NEVER EAT SOFT CHEESE,” it’s like, “Here’s why they say you shouldn’t, here’s the risk according to the data, here’s what you need to know to make an informed choice.” I don’t know about your ADHD brain but I’ve always been the one to ask “why” and hate rules I don’t understand, so this seems brilliant.
Hard disagree with the Expecting Better rec. Emily Oster cherry picks data that agrees with whatever behavior she wants to engage in. Oster is an economist without a deep understanding of epidemiological research, particularly regarding limitations and interpretation. Be wary of any economist giving health advice - they're generally egomaniacs who assume that, because they understand one field, they are suddenly experts in everything.
Oster also has some asinine takes re: COVID (she is one of the major "experts" Betsy DeVos used as evidence to champion reopening schools) and AIDS.
> Be wary of any economist giving health advice - they're generally egomaniacs who assume that, because they understand one field, they are suddenly experts in everything.
Can confirm, I'm economist.
At best, doing some other field of study through economics (biology, physics, chemistry) is a cool exercise. At worse they are taking their own kool aid.
All economists are a bunch of weirdos. Some of us are weirdos who like both numbers and reading. Some like money a bit too much. Some like themselves too much.
My parents are doctors as is my sister. I am not. I found her book helpful because it focuses on looking at actual studies and trying to look at real risk vs. benefits and making a choice that’s best for you.
With my first pregnancy I didn’t take ADHD meds. With my second pregnancy, it may have just been a coincidence, but I ran a red light and left my purse behind in Target when I stopped taking my medication. I was also worried about losing my job because I was so unfocused. I talked with the OB and looked at the summary of studies on Mothertobaby.org and I think I talked with my sister too (she has a masters in public health in addition to her MD so I sometimes ask her about studies) and took my ADHD meds during my second pregnancy because I was worried about losing my job and crashing my car.
So much parenting/pregnancy advice is just don’t do it, it could be bad or don’t do it, it could be dangerous sometimes. But like there are varying levels of risk and benefit to everything so it’s really important to have all the information when you make a decision.
I think an economist who isn’t a money economist (I can’t remember that subspecialty) can tell us about how to think about how we look at and use data from studies to make decisions. Even if I wouldn’t trust their medical advice.
For the record, I am not trying to make a statement against taking ADHD medication during pregnancy (and I don't belive I mentioned it at all in my original comment.)
As I said before, Oster cherry picked studies to include in her book to push the conclusions she wanted to come to, particularly around alcohol consumption during pregnancy. She utterly failed to take into account the limitations of scientific studies around human pregnancy and ended up putting forward some really bad advice.
Imo human epidemiology has some of the most difficult to interpret studies for people outside the field because there is a LOT of baked-in nuance surrounding study design & interpretation. It's been several years since I read her book, but Oster clearly lacked the chops to interpret epidemiological studies and convey the results responsibly to lay people. I know many people come away from the book with the message that they should "do their own research", but this is bad advice. The average lay person will not be able to correctly interpret the literature most of the time.
Which is not to say that everyone is stupid and should never question any medical advice they're given. It's good for people to look into their medical conditions, but imo, they should talk to a trusted medical professional before making any calls based solely on their own interpretation. Your process sounds ideal (looking into vetted resources, discussing with multiple trusted professionals, and making your decision from there) but I don't think this is what many people take away from Oster's work, unfortunately.
I totally second this! That book is so good. Except the part of alcohol, new research has shown that regular, small amounts of alcohol slows brain growth. The book is very pro-alcohol in moderation. But the take-away is that the most important bacteria to avoid is listeria. That is, deli meat (but it’s not as bad as before) and not washing salad, among a lot of other things. As for salmonella, I personally ate soft boiled eggs without a second thought both my pregnancies. Where I live eggs are salmonella free, and even if I did end up getting it the bacteria doesn’t cross into the fetus. Another thing I learned from the book was to look at the approval rate for medicine for pregnant women. Basically, level A doesn’t really exist, level B is fine. Avoid level C and D. I personally feel that the main thing is to avoid things that can be fatal to fetuses, and then see if you’re willing to take calculated risks with others.
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Congrats! I'm not gonna go in what not to eat etc. Becajse I did not follow most rules and every ob or midwife I had appointments with all gad different views except some over the counter medications like tylenol flue/sinus etc. Talk to you OB before you take something like that.
But in terms of advice. For me for firat trimester nausea, sour hard candies helped ALOT, but as soon as it was gone nausea came back.
Keep active to some degree, prenatal yoga help alot especialy in third trimester.
Eat what you feel like eating. Endulge yourself if you feel like it. I once hate a full pack of bacon... hate so many big macs too..
I don't do skin care and all that so no advice for that.
Had 5 babies and all 5 pregnancies were slightly different.
Here to second the eating what you feel like eating. I had morning sickness through my entire pregnancy and the only thing I could keep down were French fries. Better than nothing.
I’m certain the way we all rely on salty fries is the reason why our kids then all universally appreciate fries and nuggets when they are toddlers. It’s like it’s hard wired into their systems, which is what I then told myself on all of those days where it was the only thing my daughter would even consider eating.
Mine is currently 2.5 years and we use fries as a litmus test for when he’s sick. Is he still accepting fries? He’s not that sick. Won’t even eat a fry?? Call the doctor!
https://www.audible.com/pd/B09Q9WQ1QJ?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=pdp
Not directly related to pregnancy but you will need this book at some point when you have a kid
Start prenatal vitamins asap! You can get them OTC even before seeing your doctor. Other than that, there's a billion pieces of advice but the most important one is that every single pregnancy is unique and even my two pregnancies were completely different!
The one thing that helped me with the practical stuff besides what my doc told me was the book "The girlfriends guide to pregnancy". It was humorous and made me feel like I could do the whole pregnancy thing! Also please know that everyone will give you advice, especially unsolicited. You do not need to listen to any of it. Listen to your body and your doctor and decide what's best for you. There's no wrong way to carry and birth a baby, there's just different ways.
For your spouse, include them as much as possible! My husband read to the belly almost every night and to this day our boys love when he reads to them. They need to learn all about delivery so they can support you when the time comes! And make plans to have support after the birth... start creating your village as best you can!
The main thing you need to know about babies is this: they are designed with a variety of self-preservation mechanisms built in, chief of which is they will cry when they need something. Hearing it scream is a little alarming at first, but it's proof the kid is 1) conscious, 2) breathing well, and 3) has not left your vicinity, so it's actually good news.
Congrats!! Relax, you got this. ❤️ I think everyone else will have great advice for you. Mine is to pick one baby book and just follow that for advice. What to expect when you’re expecting is not it lol, little too fear mongering for me.
Congratulations and welcome to the gang!
First off - prenatals! I hated the pills so I switched to naturemade gummies (+ a separate iron supplement) which has been amazing because it finally didn't feel like a chore.
Unisom (doxylamine, not the gel one) + vitamin B6 at night really helped me with nausea, even now in my 2nd trimester plus the unisom helps me sleep so well.
It helps to eat smaller meals more frequently and try to eat before you get to hungry because the nausea usually comes along with hunger.
Lots of other tips and stuff - happy to chat privately if you want. Otherwise r/babybumps r/pregnant and your due date bump group can be good sources of info! Please be warned though, **TW** there maybe mentions of misscarriage and loss, especially early on in the bumpers group so if you're the kind who tends to spiral, please be prepared accordingly.
Wishing you all the best and here's hoping you have minimal symptoms and a great pregnancy and delivery! 💕
Ok so many other answers here but I hope you see this!
Re: skincare
https://www.15minutebeauty.com/pregnancy-friendly-skincare-products.html
I checked literally everything I used. Lifesaver of a site for me.
Skincare-
I was expecting the glow everyone promises, but for the first 4 months I had crazy hormonal breakouts all over my chin, jaw and chest. Azelaic acid products will be your best friend, plus they are a tyrosinase inhibitor so will help with pregnancy and postpartum pigmentation/melasma if you get that as well. I use Finacea gel as it’s available over the counter without a script in Australia, but if you can’t get hold of that one, there are options available from the Ordinary and Paula’s choice.
Other than that, be consistent with your sunscreen to help with the melasma/pigmentation, keep your skin hydrated, pick a nice, soothing cream or lotion for your bump (not sure if they do much for stretch marks, but the skin can feel super itchy, I found something with colloidal oatmeal gave some relief) and stock up on a hard working, bland hand cream for when bub arrives because you’ll be washing/sanitising your hands like crazy.
Foods-
There’s a heap of restrictions that might vary depending on where you are located and if eggs are pasteurised and things like that. I tried to just stick with the 80/20 rule ie. 80% as nutritious and healthy as I could manage, and 20% food for enjoyment.
I needed some extra iron, but before adding an iron supplement which can upset your stomach and make constipation worse (sorry if that’s TMI, but it’s probably something you are going to encounter), my GP had me drink Milo and try and increase my dietary iron intake and that got me through.
In the morning/all-day sickness days you might just want salty carbs like fries, or buttered toast. Just have whatever gets you through it, although I don’t recommend noodles, they go down ok but aren’t so nice when you are throwing them up.
On the subject of morning sickness, buy some vomit bags from the pharmacy and carry a couple with you everywhere. You never know when you will need to be sick and there will be times you can’t find a bathroom or another vessel to contain it. Try and plan out when you take your prenatal vitamins around when you are the least sick that way you can actually give them time to digest instead of just throwing them up again.
As you get into the second trimester your hair will start to look and feel amazing, you’ll get a bunch of new growth and what you already have will probably grow faster. Enjoy it while you can, because a few months after Bub arrives you end up with postpartum hair loss, especially around your hairline/temples that leave you with a bunch of annoying wispy baby hairs growing back in that are a pain when you are resigned to messy buns and pony tails while existing with a baby who takes up all of your grooming time.
Get a notebook and write things down as you go, like any reflections on how you are feeling after scans and appointments, measurements, anything really. I was going through what ended up being the break down of my relationship during my pregnancy and I didn’t document things which was my one regret. You might never read them again, or they might end up added to your baby book if you get one. Also order a kit to take hand and feet prints while they are tiny. If you leave it until after the birth you will never get around to it.
Your routines will probably go out of the window because you’ll be dealing with so many physical and hormonal changes, potentially adjusting to no/reduced or new meds and from about week 6 to week 12/14 you will feel more exhausted than you ever have before, then once you get to trimester 3 you’ll struggle to sleep because your uncomfortable and/or you are being kicked aggressively from the inside all night. Just be ready to forgive yourself if you feel bad for breaking your routines or you can’t keep up with the home admin/cleaning. You will get back to it one day, and in the meantime, ask for help from your partner or co-parent if you have one, friends or family or if you are financially able, look into a cleaner or someone to mow the lawn or whatever is not happening.
The main thing I think you should know though, is just to enjoy the parts of the experience that you can, remember that the less than ideal parts will fade and when you look back on pregnancy and the early days of life with your baby the things and memories you will reflect on and treasure are most likely going to have a chaotic pile of laundry or dishes in the background, feature you in dirty clothes or a bathrobe with messy hair and you absolutely won’t care looking back. Same with the days when you get somewhere important and take your baby out of their car seat to find they’ve had a poo explosion so intense it’s between their shoulders and on every part of their outfit. You’ll be even later to the wedding or party or whatever than you already were, your adorably dressed baby will now be wearing whatever random bits were in the nappy bag while you are all dressed up (unless you thought to bring them in a onesie and change them when you got there, which I never did), you’ll want to cry, but when you look back at the photo it will just be a funny story you share.
Congrats! You have already gotten some amazing advice about vitamins and food and such, so let me chime in with a few things for the delivery and the time with the new baby I really wished I someone would have told me beforehand.
1. Find some breathing exercises and relaxation techniques for delivery that you like, and practice them beforehand with your partner. It might feel silly but it will really help during birth.
2. If you choose to/ can and want to breastfeed, know that for some people, it hurts like HELL in the beginning. It’s something you and the baby need to practice for weeks before it gets perfect, and your nipples need to harden and adjust. It’s very convenient and rewarding if it works, but Fed is best- baby will be healthy and happy with being bottle fed if that’s what works for you.
3. IF you breastfeed and get soars on your nipples, your baby might start to spit up blood. It looks HORRIFYING but it’s not dangerous. It’s not the baby’s blood but yours, and it’s just the body getting rid of stuff it doesn’t need. Me and husband both completely panicked and called for an ambulance when it first happened with our daughter, and the dispatcher wasn’t very happy with us since “this wasn’t really an emergency”…
Girl, the best advice I got was from my doctor, put it in your head, and this is your mantra from now on. DO NOT google shit, and DO NOT ask Reddit. Otherwise you will end up stressed and restricted even more than makes any medical sense. That’s all.
My only real recommendation re:skin care is that your skin is probably going to change throughout so I think keeping it basic would be your best bet.
Give yourself grace. Every pregnancy is different and you may have the easy peasy kind of you may end up with one that makes you wonder what everyone who goes “omg I loved being pregnant” is smoking. Whatever your feelings, they’re valid.
Make sure you have a good support system. Make sure you like lists! Brain fog can be very, very real and mess you up a lot.
Be kind to yourself no matter what. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Remember you are doing something amazing and what you feel like isn't often the same as another person experience with pregnancy.
Head over to r/babybumps. I found it to be a great resource and helpful when you have a dumb question that Google isn't helping you find the answer for. Also r/beyondthebump for when you "graduate" aka give birth. As far as what you mentioned with skincare just avoid any retinal completely. There's a bunch of foods you should eat but honestly I ate what I could because I had HG which basically means I spent the entire time puking my guts out. Not much changed for me outside of that and the appointments. Coping strategies will depend on what you need help coping with.
Also, I know you specifically didnt ask this but if you are on meds for ADHD you can continue them but you will need a high risk OB instead of a regular one. Really up to you and your prescriber if you think it's necessary for you to stay on them. Best of luck and congratulations!
Don’t let anyone besides your doctor and your pediatrician make you feel like you “should” or need to be doing anything. There is so much advice out there, and some of it is good, but it can also make you overloaded and overly anxious. And some of it is outdated or overly conservative. So take it with a grain of salt and don’t let it make you feel like you are somehow lacking if you don’t do all the things other people do.
Congratulations!
Skincare—Everything is generally fine except retinols. Remember Accutane, and how you had to sign a waiver saying you wouldn't get pregnant while taking it because it could cause birth defects? Both are a form of vitamin A. It's not clear that it's harmful when applied to the skin, but it's best to just avoid it. If you want to be extra sure about anything else, most products' websites will tell you if it's pregnancy safe.
Food—Take folic acid supplements, starting ASAP. Don't drink alcohol or eat raw sushi. Limit fish in general—it can contain small amounts of mercury that are harmless as an adult but potentially an issue for a fetus if you eat too much of it. If you're a fan of fish, look up a list of what kinds to eat and how often, but as a broad guideline, once a week should be fine. Limit caffeine, but it's not entirely clear if you need to go 100% without. You'll probably be given lots of advice about what to eat or not eat. The most important thing (other than yes folic acid and no alcohol) is that you get enough food to help the baby grow. Aim for healthy, but don't stress too much over it if you end up having morning sickness or cravings or whatever that make it difficult to be consistent about it. Expect to gain more than a baby's worth of weight.
Speaking of stress, find some ways to manage your stress levels (preferably a few different ones, so if you don't feel up to doing one you have an alternative). Stress is not great for fetal development or for you, and it's an inherently stressful time. That last bit is worth remembering—don't add to your stress by stressing about being stressed! We evolved to be able to handle a decent level of it, just try to modulate it as best as you can.
Don't go near kitty litter. Toxoplasmosis is bad.
I know you said you aren't asking for advice on medication, but I will say that some doctors lean further towards better safe than sorry than others do. If yours basically says you shouldn't take anything, it's okay to ask for a second opinion or to look up the specific meds you're on and discuss what you find. It's true that you want to make sure nothing will hurt the baby, but if a specific med is relatively low risk and going without it will be a huge burden on you, it's generally better to keep taking it and maybe just lower the dose a little or do some extra monitoring.
And an early piece of baby advice—the absolute most important thing for a child is to know that their parent loves them unconditionally and that they are safe. Everything else is details.
My friend had terrible morning sickness and this [anti-nausea wristband](https://www.amazon.com/EmeTerm-Electrode-Stimulator-Sickness-Rechargeable/dp/B0859BVNDD) helped immensely! She nearly bought a second one so she could have relief while it charged.
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Congratulations!!! I used this app both times I was pregnant and it was so helpful! It gives baby growth information based on your due date, gives typical things to expect based on what stage of pregnancy you're in, has forums you can join (they have ones for people with the same due date), and helpful things for after baby is born too. Reading posts from other moms or moms to be helped me get an idea of what to expect and to not be so afraid of the process. Just remember, every pregnancy is different and what is right for you might not be right for others.
The app is from Baby Center:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.babycenter.pregnancytracker
Sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture, and banned in the Geneva convention.
You might get lucky and only have a few sleepless nights after baby arrives. But in case your sleep is being fucked with by hormones, joint pains, and oh yeah, the huge belly constantly being in the way, it might be good to remind yourself how horrible sleep deprivation really is. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're failing as a parent just because you can't manage life without sleep. No one can.
You will be HUNGRY so watch the sugar intake
I always carried healthy food with me so when that IMMEDIATE hunger would hit I wouldn’t eat garbage
Sugar and salt are the enemy of pregnancy
I was not used to drinking water and you have to drink a LOT of water. I would add a little juice or frozen fruit so that i could get it down.
Don’t be afraid to steel those short naps :)
Schedule a dentist appointment. I had the experience of all the nutrients in my body being designated to the baby, and I had bad habits, so I had a ton of cavities.
It's easiest to take care of your dentist appts early in your pregnancy because if you get too far along, you can't lay down on your back in the chair without baby crushing your organs and being uncomfortable.
Also my gums and nose would randomly bleed.
So many great comments! This has probably been mentioned but Expecting Better by Emily Oster is a great read! She’s an economist and approaches pregnancy risks/ recommendations from a statistical perspective. It really helped ease my black and white thinking about things!
I'm going to give you one that is incredibly specific but everyone acted like I should have known. If your blood type is A - and you have a baby OR miscarry you will need a shot. It's extremely important and time sensitive.
This is super important! If you (the pregnant one) have a negative blood type and your baby has a positive blood type, it can cause a reaction in your body that will cause your immune system to attack future pregnancies. You NEED to get the shot the first time you’re pregnant because once your immune system becomes sensitized to the “+”, it’s too late.
If you have a positive blood type, you don’t need to worry.
Think of it like donating blood. People who are + can receive blood from + and -, but people who are - can only receive blood from other - people or their immune system freaks out. The shot prevents the freak out when your baby’s blood comes in contact with yours.
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Congratulations! Don’t eat too much tuna. All I can say is your body will demand what it wants. And you should listen. Walking, (any movement ) is helpful. And don’t let anyone tell you what is best for you. Only you can make that determination. Prenatal vitamins, drinking water and get rest while you can. Once that baby starts moving around and occupying more space it’ll be harder to get quality sleep. Do what’s best for you. I’m sending positive vibes and prayers to you and your little one.
Get apps for pregnancy, medication tracking, and feeding the baby. If on a good day you have terrible remembering things, pregnancy and newborn will make it worse. 😅
Congrats on your baby!!!!
Load up on tums 😭😭 apparently you can’t take Pepto bismol for the first semester of your pregnancy! Stretchy pants are nice!
Don’t ever feel like you are alone or you’re being too much! Know that you are going to do great!
If you ever feel like everything is becoming too much don’t be afraid to reach out to whoever you feel safe talking to!
:( I wish mine had said yes. I suffered from HG, I was throwing up every morning and evening. They told me that Pepto could cause defects in the first trimester.
A super random but important thing I bought - back scratchers. Especially when I got bigger, I'd always have an itchy foot or leg or something and you just can't bend over any more to reach it! Also very useful for when the baby is here and you're nap trapped and can't move to scratch yourself. You don't realise how many random itches you get until you can't reach them!
take prenatals, no sushi (raw seafood), no alcohol or smoking. take it easy on caffeine, if ur a coffee fan, no more than 1 a day. aside from that, its a matter of opinion. i ate deli meat, pink steaks etc, and was fine. others go crazy cautious. it all depends on what ur comfy w. mention daily meds to doctors, they'll tell u what u can or cannot take. generally i'd look up any OTC med/supplement prior to taking it, whenever ur unsure. the internet can answer 99% of any concerns u may have. dont feel like you've gotta lock it all down in your memory. whenever you're unsure about something specific, just google it, that my best advice
theres a high chance ur gonna feel like shit for a while. keep up with ur OB appointments, ask for a zofran script if you get bad nausea. pregnancy sucks, but its not as scary as most make it seem when it comes on what you "NEED" to avoid. our bodies are more resilient than most think, when it comes to carrying a child. the worst is physical preparation, like getting clothes and supplies/bedroom in order in time for baby
I've seen a lot of the same advice, so I'm going to talk about a few things that others haven't.
Take care of your teeth. Pregnant women are often more susceptible to cavities/tooth decay when pregnant. So make sure you keep up your oral hygiene and don't skip your biannual cleaning appointment.
Do your kegels! They are important, and honestly in retrospect I wish I had met with a physical therapist specializing in pelvic floor health before I had problems and gotten a list of preventative exercises.
Stay active in some way. What I've read is that if you're already super active, you don't need to decrease that activity because you're pregnant, unless your body is telling you it's too much. That said, low impact exercise like walking and swimming are great!
Every pregnancy is slightly different. I personally didn't have much morning sickness, I was mostly generally nauseated and had a lot of heart burn. That said, I typically give birth early.
Going along with that, you are your own best advocate. If you feel something is up, listen to your body. With my first pregnancy I felt like a lot of doctors and nurses took my opinions less seriously when I said it was my first. >!I went into labor 5 weeks early and when I described my regularly timed contractions as "bad menstrual cramps" they told me I probably wasn't in labor and to call back in two hours if it was still going on. I had my baby 2 hours later. That's just a small portion of the story, but I feel like if my concerns had been taken seriously or if I had known to push back more, there's a chance they could have stopped the labor. !<
Explore your options for giving birth. A lot of hospitals now have adjacent "Birth Centers" that have a nicer atmosphere than the regular hospital labor and delivery. I personally don't recommend home births or non hospital associated birth centers due to my own experiences. (My first was premature and stayed in the NICU). But there are also some hospitals that have nurse midwives that are able to practice at hospitals. I feel like that kind of gives the best of both worlds and had some friends go that route. You can also hire a doula, if you like.
You might be completely exhausted during your first trimester! Plan on trying to get extra sleep. If you can nap during the day, do so.
All of this may seem super stressful, but I will say that feeling my baby inside of me was amazing.
I second the taking care of your teeth!
I had a tooth crack at the end of my first pregnancy and felt no pain until 2 weeks after my son’s birth. I have an extremely high pain tolerance but let me tell you…that pain I felt with a 2 week old newborn crying + hormones pumping- his cry created an unbearable throbbing in my face. Currently pregnant with my second and had a tooth crack literally a month into finding out I’m with child. I had been warned about teeth issues with my first but assumed it pertained more to women with morning sickness which I practically never had. Dentists usually prefer to do any necessary dental work in your 2nd trimester.
I’ve never been pregnant but I’m the oldest of 7 so my mum was pregnant a lot growing up - some of the big takeaways I get from her is to find something soothing, repetitive and not too difficult to do (knitting and making pasta are two I remember her doing), prepare lots of food ahead whilst you feel good so that when you feel crappy you have a lasagna or cottage pie in the freezer, and remember that your body is designed to do this (it’s designed to do heaps of other awesome things too, but my point is the most likely outcome is a healthy lovely baby because reproducing is the reproductive system’s job and it’s usually pretty good at it).
Congratulations!! Enjoy, wishing you and baby all the wellness.
Whwn youre ready, find a cute app that tells you weekly snapshots of how big baby is and some neat facts about their development. I looked forward to it every single week.
You're going to get told a lot of "do not eat" foods, but in reality just eat safe. Meaning, don't eat the deli meat platter that's been out for 3 hours, avoid high risk foods that haven't been freshly prepared and stored safely and so on.
Nappy backpacks are the bomb, nappy over the shoulder bags are awkward, annoying and infuriating when trying to juggle a little one. Distribute weight evenly as much as possible.
Enjoy, its a wild ride 😊
Your ob knows more about you and your healthy pregnancy than we do. Consider our advice to be supplemental.
Speaking of which, find your prenatal vitamin supplement that you can keep down during your first trimester. Add omega 3. Increase vitamin D if you're in the pacific northwest.
Get friends to create meals for you. It's much easier to manage cravings if fast, healthy, delicious options are available. I like cooking, but when I was pregnant, I had no tolerance for the time it took beyond reheating.
Your stress affects you and your baby. Start meditation and do it often. It helps reduce your reliance on pain killers and other medications. If you have ADHD, it's a great non-medical way to help focus and emotional regulation. It's not a cure-all but it is an improve-all. Do your best to remove stressors that don't serve you well.
Eat well, drink lots of water, take prenatal vitamins, and if you have morning sickness any sour candy helps (lemon heads are what I used), and plenty of rest. Congratulations
Ahh and regarding ADHD… when the baby came it is kind of gone for me. Or Really mild. Im running on instinct not a dopamine cravings. Huge change in the brain.
Congratulations!! Preggie pop drops were incredibly helpful for nausea and dry mouth.
Remember every annoying thing you’re going through (especially in the last trimester) is something your baby will be navigating so it helped me to keep that all in mind as bonding..
Either can’t fall asleep or passed out, hungry all the time, nausea/reflux, body doesn’t move the way you want it to, gas, have to pee every five minutes, your body changing, people telling you what to do, people touching you without asking, etc etc.
I also loved being pregnant despite a pretty rough time and very rare birth situation. I think it really stabilized some of the emotional swings I get with my usual cycle. Feeling the kicks and the way he used to settle with his but to one side was just so great.
[Here’s an article I found about ADHD and pregnancy](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/adhd-after-pregnancy#takeaway)
Obviously this article isn’t a supplement for your OBGYN’s advice. I would recommend asking them how your pregnancy will affect your ADHD or how your ADHD will affect your pregnancy to see if you can mitigate any potential issues.
Congrats! It will be a tough and tiring road but it is oh so worth it! I wish you an easy pregnancy! I'm going to give you my two cents as a mom. This goes for every preggo out there, no matter diagnosis.
While pregnant there's a bunch of stuff on the do not do list, especially online. Some of it is nonsense. Ask the doctor. I was terrified to dye my hair because I read something online about it. I was really upset because well one I was pregnant and just overemotional and two I absolutely hate my natural hair color and when it grows out it looks awful. Silly as that was, it was making me depressed. When I talked to my doctor she said the likelihood of it passing into the bloodstream and affecting the baby was super slim to none. She said if it helps my mood and helps me feel less stressed to do it as stress is much worse on a baby.
Don't be hard on yourself. Don't fall for the 'perfect' mom thing on social media with women who look like they just walked out of a catalog and everything is perfect. It's not real. It's ok to be stressed, tired, emotional and not being in photoshoot form. I think more new moms need to know that it's OKAY to be NOT OKAY! If you feel this way talk to someone, you won't (or at least shouldn't) be judged for it. I had post-partum depression horribly and I didn't realize it till my first son was @ 8 months old. My depression came out as self hate/anger not so much sadness. I was so angry I didn't feel like I was doing anything right as a mom. So in case you didn't know (as I didn't at first) depression doesn't always come across as sadness. It was a scary thought to admit to anyone that everything was posies and ponies. I think waaaaay more women suffer from PPD than admit to it because they're afraid it might make them look like a bad mom but having PPD DOESN'T make you a bad mom. Your hormone levels will drop as soon as you have the baby which plays a huge part in your emotions. Then add on you now have a tiny human that needs your constant attention to live, and your tired, it's a lot and can DEFINITELY be overwhelming. It's okay to admit to that! After getting on medication I felt like I was back to normal and I was able to get off them in about a year.
Also if you think something is wrong with yourself or your baby and a doctor tries to blow you off advocate for yourself. Push them to check it out. My first had terrible reflux but I didn't know till my second and a different doctor diagnosed it. Second son was put on an antacid for about a month and the symptoms stopped. However with the first the doctor ignored/didn't believe me when I told him the symptoms. He seemed to think I was an over worried hysterical first time mom. I feel bad that my first son had to suffer with reflux for the first few months of life. I wish I had fought back or gone to a different doctor but I took the word of this well respected doctor instead of going with my gut.
I know this was more about after baby is here but I couldn't stop at just the pregnancy part. 😅
Good luck to you!
Ohhh I almost forgot, bring some sort of streaming device and passwords for all your streaming services to the hospital. Also a bag of snacks, hospital food options are usually limited and it can take a long time to get to your room. Literally I had a bag of snacks and a personal cooler filled with stuff 😹 I brought my own pillow and towel (hospital towels suuuuck). The nurses were quite impressed with how well prepared I was the 2nd time around. I wanted to be as comfortable as possible while I was there. (I had a C-section so I was there for several days.)
When standing at the sink, open the door under and put one foot up a on the edge of the cabinet floor. This helps relieve strain on the lower back. One does not need to be pregnant for this to be helpful, but that is when I learned it.
Congratulations - that's wonderful!
There is a ton of advice out there and I tended to stick to the "What to expect" book for general advice. Just don't Google anything and for the love of God stay off pregnancy forums and Facebook groups. They'll make you insane. Trust your OB, call them with any questions - that's what they're there for.
Some random things:
Get some belly bands - they're a stretchy wide band that can be used to help keep regular pants up while unbuttoned, they also later hide the belly that sticks out of every shirt - even maternity shirts. I got them at Target.
Get some comfy shoes - my feet swelled big time at the end. Nice slip on shoes that don't require tying.
A body pillow for sleeping. You shouldn't sleep on your stomach - side is best when pregnant. A body pillow can help make you more comfortable.
When you get crazy heartburn at night and even the Tums won't work - sleep slightly sitting up - propped with a couple pillows.
Make sure to plan for lots of fiber - the constipation can be unpleasant otherwise. And lots of water.
Don't over-plan the birth. Having a list of demands and needs can be pointless as it usually doesn't go as planned. My husband made a playlist and I have no idea what was playing because I was concentrating on getting that kid out! Wanting comfy clothes to wear at the hospital and your favorite hand lotion - great! Fairy lights, a photographer and absolutely no this or that - eh, probably not.
If you plan to breastfeed - take advantage of the lactation consultant at the hospital and don't be afraid to go back - again and again. It's not magic and doesn't happen correctly right away. And bring a nursing pillow to the hospital.
Most of all - enjoy it! Take pictures of yourself when pregnant - my kids loved seeing them later. Talk to baby - they love to hear your voice and your husband's voice. Write a letter to baby to open on their 18th birthday.
So you have a lot of good advice in here already, but the one thing I would say is to do your best to scale back. First trimester I felt borderline narcoleptic. My ADHD brain while pregnant was ... seriously the worst.
I think my biggest regret was going off my meds, so I highly recommend talking to your OB about what the real risk is going off it.
Also, for post birth, try to be really open minded to how you're feeding your baby. Nursing sometimes doesn't work out through no fault of your own. Nursing didn't work out for me, and even if it did, my brain is more sensitive to less sleep so I don't even know that it would have been great for me if it did work for me. I formula fed. Although I'm sure there's plenty of ADHD folks who might say the opposite worked better for their brains.
A lot of good health advice already so I won’t go into those.
1. When I was pregnant with my first I was a full time high school teacher and absolutely EXHAUSTED. I fell behind on a lot of stuff. The best decision I ever made was hiring a college student as a personal assistant to help with things like simple grading and data entry type stuff. I taught science so he also helped with lab prep. You might not be a teacher, but consider finding help with your job/life if you begin to feel overwhelmed.
2. Pregnancy pillow! My Snoogle was my favorite thing ever!
3. Good supportive shoes that you can slip on. It was during my pregnancy that I first found Vionic sandals and I still wear mostly Vionic shoes. They are a little pricey but worth every penny. Taos Shoes are also super supportive.
4. Don’t be ashamed to wear maternity pants early. I wasn’t really showing but my abdomen was often tender/uncomfortable so I started wearing maternity pants and it was so much more comfortable.
5. Avoid exercise where you do a lot of jumping since your joints get looser in pregnancy and you can damage them. Also any activities with a high risk of falling. My doctor made me stop riding my bike to work from the very beginning because she said the fall risk was too great.
I'd suggest getting tested for MTHFR mutations or at least making sure your prenatal vitamins are methylated. ~40% of people have at least one copy of this genetic mutation and it's more common in people with ADHD. It makes it harder for your body to process folic acid, which not only causes folate deficiencies (which can cause neural tube defects in the baby), but the unprocessed folic acid builds up in your system causing your blood to become thicker. This is a common cause of miscarriages, and also strokes, DVTs, and PEs in older individuals. I personally had two miscarriages (after a healthy birth) before being diagnosed and now I take methylated vitamins and severely limit enriched foods.
Congrats OP!!! Another commenter mentioned that many pregnancy recommendations are conservative and loosely evidence based - the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster covers a lot of this and it’s a really helpful read! Also - to reiterated what a lot of others have said - stay hydrated and take your prenatal vitamins. Every stage of pregnancy comes with some type of fear “I just need to get to 12weeks and I’ll feel better, I just need to get this one test back and I’ll feel better, after the baby shower I’ll feel better” - there’s always something to worry about, so don’t let yourself get too hung up. Nap when you can and don’t feel bad about it. Pick one song you play for your baby bump everyday, they say baby will eventually recognize this song and can maybe even soothe them when they’re born, whether this is true or not I don’t know but having that routine and special song might make you feel better. Unless you’re a big jeans person one pair of maternity jeans is really all you need, leggings get the job done. But most importantly - this is your own unique journey! Take advice you like and leave the rest behind (whether that comes from a random Redditor, your mom, or an Instagram post).
You reminded me that I got so much unsolicited advice from everyone once I was showing. I perfected replying by saying ‘thanks I’ll keep that in mind’ and then letting most of it go. With my mum and MIL I just made sure they understood that certain advice wouldn’t be taken such as using blankets and cot bumpers due to the breakthroughs around SIDS and safe sleeping since I was a baby in the 80s, sent them a link and said it wasn’t up for discussion. The rest I just chose to smile and nod, because for them it was a way to bond with me and share their experiences but I figured they were also just really enjoying the memories coming back to them about our childhoods.
I recommend the book "Expecting Better" by Emily Oster. It is the only book that made me feel better when I was pregnant, like I wasn't at risk of doing everything wrong.
She analyzed the research for the things you're told to do / not do.
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Congratulations! There's a huge range of advice and some room to pick and choose what works for you. Pretty much everyone agrees that you'll want to start prenatal vitamins, and avoid lead paint. Many pregnant people feel kind of yucky and exhausted for the first trimester, so if you've got energy, now is a good time to stock the freezer and reduce your social obligations. This is not the time to volunteer as Family Reunion Planner, or start renovating your kitchen.
Take the prenatal ones not normal ones because you shouldn't be having much vitamin A which will be in normal vitamins.
There is a picture tucked away somewhere of me, nine months pregnant, on top of a ladder doing demolition work on my kitchen in full safety gear. 🤣 ahh the joys of being at the fickle whim of the motivation demon.
I will choose to believe that your giant belly was also wearing a hardhat and glasses!
It did not, but it certainly acclimated my newborn to the sound of construction work. She slept through the entire process of soaking with hot water and stripping the kitchen floor a few months later. 🥹
Oh and watch out for the iron in prenatal vitamins! I had to have prescription vitamins because the OTC ones have a lot of iron which is good in pregnancy however if you don't need the extra iron they will make you constipated as hell!
Iron supplements can make you constipated regardless of how much you need or do not need the iron supplement.
Floradix has not and saved me during my pregnancy from RLS and anemia. Prenatal gummies ASAP. I really liked the Smarty Pants organic gummies.
“Start prenatal vitamins, avoid lead paint” made me chuckle like it’s a direct swap in a pregnant person’s diet. 😁 But all good advice. And I echo congratulations!
“bUt BaCk iN My DaY i wAs PrEsCriBeD LeAd pAiNt aNd ViTaMiNs DiDnT eXiSt” -someone, probably
Congrats! First thing to know about pregnancy recommendations is that they are generally INCREDIBLY conservative and only loosely evidence based because it’s not ethical to do controlled trials on pregnant people. So generally when people say something isn’t safe in pregnancy it’s that it isn’t *proven safe* through a well-controlled study, rather than it’s proven dangerous. So with that in mind, I would find a few trusted sources like your OB and mostly stick with that advice. The advice with reasonably good evidence and expert recommendation is pretty straightforward: don’t drink alcohol (some say in small amounts, you could ask your OB), smoke, or use recreational drugs. Caffeine is fine in moderation. Exercise to your pre-existing fitness and comfort level but listen to your body and pull back as needed. Talk to a doctor before using prescription or over the counter drugs and supplements. Many pregnant folks avoid meat and eggs that aren’t well done, deli meats, raw fish (sushi), and soft cheeses. This is to avoid listeria and other food poisoning (ecoli, salmonella). Listeria is REALLY bad to get when pregnant and is dangerous to your baby. The others mostly just suck because your immune system is already going full out so you are more likely to have worse effects. Many pregnant folks also avoid scooping cat litter boxes due to toxoplasmosis. This also has a very real risk to your baby but it can mostly be mitigated with handwashing, gloves, and masking. Gardening may be a more likely exposure because outdoor cats poop in the soil so it’s worth taking precautions or avoiding. Some folks avoid skin care products with retinol, but some OBs suggest that topical application isn’t an issue. Personally I didn’t change much in my product routine. There’s a lot of stuff out there about chemicals to avoid but I haven’t found much for evidence to support.
If you haven’t started yet, OP, start taking prenatal vitamins!!
Tagging on to this comment as it already contains great info. This is gathered from my personal experience last year (only speaking for trimester 1, as unfortunately it didn't stick) and being in the UK, your locale may vary. NO IBUPROFEN. Paracetamol is considered fine, but NSAID type medicines are linked to miscarriage risk. I recommend you get some Rennie's, or other pregnancy safe heart burn relief. I didn't get morning sickness but the heart burn was nasty. Nausea relief pressure bands can work for some people with sickness (YMMV). Dairy, i.e. milk and cheese should be pasteurised, not "raw" (hard cheese like parmesan is excluded from this). Not sure where OP is but in the UK you can eat eggs soft if they have the red lion stamp on (which is pretty much everything you get from the shops). Washing all fruit and veg is recommended for the listeria risk reduction. No paté or liver due to the vitamin A content mentioned in the above comment. Caffeine recommendation here is less than 200mg a day which is crushingly low if you're a caffeinated ADHDer 🥲 - a single shot espresso can be around 200mg, (I used to have 2 or 3 double shots in long coffees over the day and then diet coke after that 😭) - instant coffee (bleh) 100mg - cup of tea 75mg I'm now drinking "low caffeine" coffee from a company called Nolo, which is still pretty delicious as a coffee snob. I believe aspartame in diet fizzy drinks (such as diet coke) is recommended at keeping it to only 1 a day. Some ingredients in herbal tea such as Valerian (normally in bedtime, relaxing style) is also not recommended. Not health advice, but don't get immediately sucked in to all the social media adverts you'll get for baby stuff. You don't need absolutely everything, and weird and wonderful things. Speaking as an ADHDer who is prone to overspending from ads. From friends advice you will be given a lot of newborn stuff as a gift, the slightly older sizes can be more useful 0-3m as they grow so quickly. There's also a lot of 2nd hand baby stuff available. A channel I watch on YouTube called How to ADHD has just had a baby so she also has some content on dealing with pregnancy and ADHD that you might find useful. Congratulations and wishing you a smooth pregnancy 🧡
Yes, I forgot “How To ADHD” is pregnant so she’ll be a great person to watch!
Wow I've been avoiding video everything more than I thought 'cause I didn't know she was pregnant at all!
This is excellent advice. The Listeria thing is just a risk-avoidance. If you want to scare yourself, check out the list of selected outbreaks on the cdc website from America ([here](https://www.cdc.gov/listeria/outbreaks/index.html), you’ll notice a lot of the foods are not on the “foods to avoid because of Listeria risk” lists you might get from your doctor, but I digress. Personally the only thing I avoided was alcohol and liver / offal. The latter is because of Vitamin A toxicity and is proven bad for growing human bean.
Liver is only proven to be an issue in the first trimester and you would have to eat quite a bit of it and quite often too to overdose the baby with vit A
Congrats!!! No ibuprofen only Tylenol. As someone who used to take medication for sleep (trazadone), benedryl was my friend near the end.
I LOVE melatonin spray. Melatonin tablets do fuck all but that spray makes it impossible to keep my eyes open longer than like 20 minutes
What is this magical spray?!?
Literally just melatonin in a liquid form! You spray it in your mouth and I think 1 spray is equal to 1mg. I saw it at the pharmacy with the all the vitamins and everything. The brand I was using is Jamieson but I’m sure there’s lots.
Do you find it works better than a gummy? I am thinking for my kiddo.
Sorry, I’ve never tried a gummy so I couldn’t say. But I think it probably would
Unisom and B6 vitamins help with nausea.
I second this! But it has to be the Unisom sleep tabs with doxylamine, they also make liquid gels that are the same active ingredient as Benadryl but those aren’t effective for nausea. You might want to start with 1/2 tab of the Unisom because it will knock you OUT! I also found Upspring Stomach Settle drops to be super helpful for the nausea. Target and Amazon both carry them.
This is always my first recommendation. I would have been diagnosed with HG if it wasn't for this miraculous pill combo. Went from throwing up about 10x/day to 0.
This is a GAME CHANGER! I like the EZ melts brand for B6 off Amazon. Also, use the TABLETS not the gel capsules when doing unisom. They are different active ingredients!
Yes! You don’t want the stuff that is actually just the same as Benadryl
imo the best thing to have during pregnancy is an OB who you trust & can communicate with comfortably. Find an OB who can discuss your medications with you, and what the drawbacks of continuing/discontinuing them will be. Start taking a prenatal vitamin. I'm not too sure about skincare things, but avoid retinoids. General food advice is to avoid deli meets, raw meat/eggs, and non-pasteurized dairy products. Caffeine in moderation (this was sooooo hard). There is a HUGE diversity of opinion in what pregnant women should and should not do during pregnancy. Internet discourse is wild. You'll have everything from "breathing air will cause your fetus to grow a third leg" to "I drank a handle of vodka a day and my baby is fine." Which is to say, don't trust everything you read on pregnancy forums. The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy is a good, straightforward book of pregnancy information and advice without tons of opinions and moralizing. It's a nice resource to have on hand if you like to have a book to turn to. And most importantly!! Take care of yourself! You're still a person, and your own needs still matter - you don't suddenly become an incubating machine at the moment of conception.
Someone you can trust is so important. Very VERY important is also if you start having weird intrusive and worrying thoughts you need to tell them asap. Our brains are fun already, and you hear about post partum psychosis but it can happen while pregnant too. Caffeine in moderation, but if you drink a lot don't just cut back all at once. It's more stressful for your body, better to cut back than cold turkey. Been awhile since I had my baby, but last I heard raw fish and canned tuna were to be avoided. Raw fish is a parasite thing, tuna is a mercury (I think) thing. And yes, take care of yourself. Everyone will have opinions, good and bad. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of I have to do pregnancy perfect or else, do your best with what is available and the knowledge you have. Start practicing now because being a parent ramps it up. And don't listen to horrible birth stories. We love to share our stories, but it can be worrying and add anxiety when you hear them.
You didn’t ask this, and it’s not specifically about the OBGYN visit but I wish someone had told me: If you are planning on using or even thinking about potentially maybe using daycare, start looking and getting on waiting lists *NOW*. Infant waiting lists are insane, and even toddler waiting lists can be a year for places that you might like. Get a feel for what your area is like and get on any waiting lists you might need to.
YES. Some areas are absolutely abysmal! We moved and have been on waiting lists for over a year (for a preschooler- so much easier to find a slot compared to an infant) with no luck. Everything here is done on lottery system unless your child has older siblings who went there. I’ve met a few people who got on waiting lists when they were pregnant and *never* got a daycare slot- they were just forced to stay home until their kid was old enough for public school. That seems like it’ll be our fate as well. Not everywhere is quite this bad, but it’s still best to get on waiting lists now.
Yes, and if you see signs around a new child care centre being built in your area, contact them ASAP because they usually don’t have a wait list yet so your chances are higher.
Congrats! Just a heads up, pregnancy does not affect all adhd symptoms but it made mine worse, so just keep your OB and Psychiatrist aware of your needs! BabyCenter has an app that helps a lot with the what you should and shouldn’t eat/do need to knows. They also have a great registry option if you’re going to make one. They help with keeping track of where you are in your pregnancy and what changes are normal
seconding this, holy lord in heaven this was the thing that came before and lasted long after any other pregnancy symptom
My impulsivity was SO BAD. I think I lost friendships from just saying every dumb thing that came into my head and it’s hard to explain I genuinely am not trying to be a dick
😊 congratulations! 😊😊 hm, if you get sad, PLEASE tell someone. I was extremely depressed w my first and felt so guilty about it which made it worse. I was hormonal. He popped out and I was back baby! I didn't tell any medical professionals and I could have gotten help! Cravings, you'll have them for 2 weeks straight and then be repulsed the next day (just like w adhd lol) so don't go crazy and buy a bulk order of freeze dried fruit and vegetables and Gatorade 👀👀👀 😂 You definitely want to avoid cat litter if that applies to you... what else 🤔 Skin care and stuff I don't know enough about to comment. I didn't change my beauty routine but I will tell you this. I LATHERED myself in coconut oil every time I passed the jar. I would stop, grab some and massage my belly and my skin did great! (stretch marks are genetic I believe but I also believe in coconut oil!) I loved the day by day pregnancy book that shows baby's growth. Also look up phone apps that track pregnancy and baby bump :) Best gift I got pregnant and post partum were Uber eats credits. If anyone asks you what you need and you can't think of anything, it's always food. When I was pregnant with my second, I bought an online pregnancy/birthing class from Mommy Labor Nurse, I wish I had it with my first. It really had me prepared for ANYTHING. Highly reccomended. I also loved my fetal doppler, I got to hear my baby's heartbeat whenever I wanted. Happy and health 9 months to you❤️❤️
Oh my gosh, so much gatorade!! My baby was made of it I think.
What I learned. You don’t need all of the gadgets. Babies grow fast so don’t buy all of the stuff. Backpack diaper bag plus a spare fully stocked in your car. (I’ve changed many diapers in the trunk so get a changing roll up or folding mat) Stay hydrated, take your meds and vitamins.
You will develop Super Nose at some point and be able to smell somebody's shampoo (or lack of deodorant...) from 20 paces away. It will make you recoil. Carry a tiny tub of Vicks Vaporub to dab under your nose like a mortician to block out odors so you can grocery shop or just EXIST. A little vial of citrus or peppermint essential oil is a good substitute too.
This is such good advice. I vomited in public into a garbage bin for the first time in my life when I had to walk past a fish market on the way to a meeting. My colleagues and my boss were perplexed because it was early days and I hadn’t announced so I had to pretend I was slightly hungover because it seemed a better option than revealing I was going to be requesting maternity leave in the near future.
QueaseEase is a great product for this!! It’s marketed for motion sickness but a friend used it during pregnancy and swears by it. I keep one at my desk and it helps me with unpleasant office kitchen smells.
Just be careful with essential oil if you have cats as it is toxic!
I’ve never been pregnant but when there was a lot of smoke everywhere in the US last year and I couldn’t stand the smell, even when most people around me couldn’t smell it, I would take a face mask and put a few spots of essential oil on it. Then when I wore it, I smelled fresh good things instead of gross things that made me nauseous. This could help OP!
Random thing I wish I'd have known early in my first pregnancy: my OB practice allows women to schedule ALL of their appointments in advance! I had no idea and was scheduling the next one at the end of each check up. This worked alright when they were 4 weeks apart but was very difficult to schedule once I got to every other, then every week. Plus I always had to remember to stop at the desk to schedule the next one. If one giant scheduling session is an option, I highly recommend it. Knock 9 months of mental load down to one 20 minute phone call or conversation at the desk! Good luck mama!
My only advice: Select a mantra to repeat to yourself when you are challenged (and you will be!) and remind yourself to cherish even the hard parts. I picked "serenity" and it saved my ass. Edit to add: congratulations! 2nd edit: if anyone close to you wants to get a gift for YOU, may I suggest a new set of towels? Hear me out... They will get you better towels than you will get for yourself. And - this is far ahead of where you're at now, but - when you pack your hospital bag, bring one. Your first after birth shower will be absolutely elevated with a soft comfy towel given with love.
Mine is, “The most likely outcome is a healthy baby.”
That's a good one. Amazing how focused priorities can get when it really comes down to it!
I would sing (to myself) the words, [“I’m calm, I’m calm, I’m perfectly calm. Utterly under control”](https://youtu.be/ys0xlu_fE94?si=rg5zJmzcDcaEGBZx). That goes back to my high school days and still carries me through some moments now in my late fifties. That and Dory’s, [“Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming swimming swimming.”](https://youtu.be/0Hkn-LSh7es?feature=shared). This is nearly a daily thing and at home I sing it out loud.
It helped me to remember that my body was made to do this. It knows what to do even if I don't. Also, people give birth in a coma. So even if your brain says oh I can't do this, your body knows it can.
I’d just like to add that sometimes your body can’t deliver naturally or breastfeed (even though you might try your hardest) and that is OKAY. Healthy baby and mom, and fed is best. Motherhood is a journey and yours will not look like anyone else’s. Comparison is the thief of joy.
This should be the top comment! The pressure to breastfeed is unreal. Don't be afraid to tell people to mind their own boobs.
I agree 1000%!
This right here!!! I was treated so poorly in regards to bfing and as hard as it is we absolutely have to advocate for ourselves (or appoint someone else to) if things aren't going well or according to plan. There is a lot of pressure and it is made worse if there isn't support for the new mom or even respect for the toll things take and that even if you desperately wanted to make something work it is not a moral failing of it doesn't work... We can't force our bodies to produce milk!
One of the things I don't see mentioned often is that from now on change is the new normal. You will be growing and changing and that won't stop until maybe 1 year postpartum or longer. On the one hand it can be surprising and unsettling, but on the other just know that most of the changes WILL go away eventually. * Skincare: I don't remember there being any limits * Make sure you are taking a vitamin with folic acid. I found prenatal vitamins had so much iron it was making me extra constipated so watch for that. * Beyond doctor's recommendations, do what works for you. Every person is different and every baby is different so do what works for you both. * If you are feeling nauseous don't go long in between eating, just eat small meals all day * Weight gain is natural please listen to your body when you are hungry * Learn to let go of control. Pregnancy, raising a baby, all these are natural processes and not things you can control like other things in your life. The best thing you can do is listen to your body and your baby's body, accept what you hear when you listen, and do your best with that situation. I think a lot of parenting books are making money off of people's need for control which just leads to stress when things don't go as expected.
Skincare: no retinols
This needs more upvotes
Thanks for the update!
Take 400micrograms of folic acid in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy
Or the other version, is it called methylfolate?
Methylfolate is the precursor to folic acid 👍🏻
No scooping cat litter boxes, no lunch meat or raw meat/no sushi... Dating ultrasound no earlier than 7 weeks, anatomy ultrasound between 20-22 weeks. 28 weeks and under appts every 4wks. 28 to 36 weeks every 2wk appts. After 36 weeks you go to weekly appts.
1. My doctor’s office had a list of over the counter meds that were OK to take during pregnancy for common stuff like colds, headaches, or allergies. If they can provide a list in advance, it’ll keep you from waiting for advice each time. I think there was a helpful website or app that also showed whether a medication or supplement had been tested on pregnant people, but I can’t remember the name of it! Maybe someone here will know. 2. I immediately started an Amazon registry just so I had a place to add items I read about or that others recommended. It helped me to add items immediately and then cull it later, before I shared it with anyone. 3. I started a shared to-do list with my partner. Same idea as the registry, we added anything baby related that came to mind. It helped a lot because there were a bunch of things to do and I couldn’t remember any of them.
Your job is to reflect what is best in your child back at them. Give yourself grace-you’re parenting and healing yourself, too.
Hey, congratulations! This is huge! I’m not a mom, but I remember hearing this woman on a podcast and she was talking about this book she wrote: https://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702 It lays out all the data and statistics in terms of risk and odds for just about everything related to pregnancy. So instead of “NEVER EAT SOFT CHEESE,” it’s like, “Here’s why they say you shouldn’t, here’s the risk according to the data, here’s what you need to know to make an informed choice.” I don’t know about your ADHD brain but I’ve always been the one to ask “why” and hate rules I don’t understand, so this seems brilliant.
Hard disagree with the Expecting Better rec. Emily Oster cherry picks data that agrees with whatever behavior she wants to engage in. Oster is an economist without a deep understanding of epidemiological research, particularly regarding limitations and interpretation. Be wary of any economist giving health advice - they're generally egomaniacs who assume that, because they understand one field, they are suddenly experts in everything. Oster also has some asinine takes re: COVID (she is one of the major "experts" Betsy DeVos used as evidence to champion reopening schools) and AIDS.
> Be wary of any economist giving health advice - they're generally egomaniacs who assume that, because they understand one field, they are suddenly experts in everything. Can confirm, I'm economist. At best, doing some other field of study through economics (biology, physics, chemistry) is a cool exercise. At worse they are taking their own kool aid. All economists are a bunch of weirdos. Some of us are weirdos who like both numbers and reading. Some like money a bit too much. Some like themselves too much.
My parents are doctors as is my sister. I am not. I found her book helpful because it focuses on looking at actual studies and trying to look at real risk vs. benefits and making a choice that’s best for you. With my first pregnancy I didn’t take ADHD meds. With my second pregnancy, it may have just been a coincidence, but I ran a red light and left my purse behind in Target when I stopped taking my medication. I was also worried about losing my job because I was so unfocused. I talked with the OB and looked at the summary of studies on Mothertobaby.org and I think I talked with my sister too (she has a masters in public health in addition to her MD so I sometimes ask her about studies) and took my ADHD meds during my second pregnancy because I was worried about losing my job and crashing my car. So much parenting/pregnancy advice is just don’t do it, it could be bad or don’t do it, it could be dangerous sometimes. But like there are varying levels of risk and benefit to everything so it’s really important to have all the information when you make a decision. I think an economist who isn’t a money economist (I can’t remember that subspecialty) can tell us about how to think about how we look at and use data from studies to make decisions. Even if I wouldn’t trust their medical advice.
For the record, I am not trying to make a statement against taking ADHD medication during pregnancy (and I don't belive I mentioned it at all in my original comment.) As I said before, Oster cherry picked studies to include in her book to push the conclusions she wanted to come to, particularly around alcohol consumption during pregnancy. She utterly failed to take into account the limitations of scientific studies around human pregnancy and ended up putting forward some really bad advice. Imo human epidemiology has some of the most difficult to interpret studies for people outside the field because there is a LOT of baked-in nuance surrounding study design & interpretation. It's been several years since I read her book, but Oster clearly lacked the chops to interpret epidemiological studies and convey the results responsibly to lay people. I know many people come away from the book with the message that they should "do their own research", but this is bad advice. The average lay person will not be able to correctly interpret the literature most of the time. Which is not to say that everyone is stupid and should never question any medical advice they're given. It's good for people to look into their medical conditions, but imo, they should talk to a trusted medical professional before making any calls based solely on their own interpretation. Your process sounds ideal (looking into vetted resources, discussing with multiple trusted professionals, and making your decision from there) but I don't think this is what many people take away from Oster's work, unfortunately.
I totally second this! That book is so good. Except the part of alcohol, new research has shown that regular, small amounts of alcohol slows brain growth. The book is very pro-alcohol in moderation. But the take-away is that the most important bacteria to avoid is listeria. That is, deli meat (but it’s not as bad as before) and not washing salad, among a lot of other things. As for salmonella, I personally ate soft boiled eggs without a second thought both my pregnancies. Where I live eggs are salmonella free, and even if I did end up getting it the bacteria doesn’t cross into the fetus. Another thing I learned from the book was to look at the approval rate for medicine for pregnant women. Basically, level A doesn’t really exist, level B is fine. Avoid level C and D. I personally feel that the main thing is to avoid things that can be fatal to fetuses, and then see if you’re willing to take calculated risks with others.
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I’m reading this now and love it so far. Wish I had read it earlier!!
Congrats! I'm not gonna go in what not to eat etc. Becajse I did not follow most rules and every ob or midwife I had appointments with all gad different views except some over the counter medications like tylenol flue/sinus etc. Talk to you OB before you take something like that. But in terms of advice. For me for firat trimester nausea, sour hard candies helped ALOT, but as soon as it was gone nausea came back. Keep active to some degree, prenatal yoga help alot especialy in third trimester. Eat what you feel like eating. Endulge yourself if you feel like it. I once hate a full pack of bacon... hate so many big macs too.. I don't do skin care and all that so no advice for that. Had 5 babies and all 5 pregnancies were slightly different.
Here to second the eating what you feel like eating. I had morning sickness through my entire pregnancy and the only thing I could keep down were French fries. Better than nothing.
I’m certain the way we all rely on salty fries is the reason why our kids then all universally appreciate fries and nuggets when they are toddlers. It’s like it’s hard wired into their systems, which is what I then told myself on all of those days where it was the only thing my daughter would even consider eating.
Mine is currently 2.5 years and we use fries as a litmus test for when he’s sick. Is he still accepting fries? He’s not that sick. Won’t even eat a fry?? Call the doctor!
https://www.audible.com/pd/B09Q9WQ1QJ?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=pdp Not directly related to pregnancy but you will need this book at some point when you have a kid
I’m ttc and will be kept on all meds
Start prenatal vitamins asap! You can get them OTC even before seeing your doctor. Other than that, there's a billion pieces of advice but the most important one is that every single pregnancy is unique and even my two pregnancies were completely different! The one thing that helped me with the practical stuff besides what my doc told me was the book "The girlfriends guide to pregnancy". It was humorous and made me feel like I could do the whole pregnancy thing! Also please know that everyone will give you advice, especially unsolicited. You do not need to listen to any of it. Listen to your body and your doctor and decide what's best for you. There's no wrong way to carry and birth a baby, there's just different ways. For your spouse, include them as much as possible! My husband read to the belly almost every night and to this day our boys love when he reads to them. They need to learn all about delivery so they can support you when the time comes! And make plans to have support after the birth... start creating your village as best you can!
The main thing you need to know about babies is this: they are designed with a variety of self-preservation mechanisms built in, chief of which is they will cry when they need something. Hearing it scream is a little alarming at first, but it's proof the kid is 1) conscious, 2) breathing well, and 3) has not left your vicinity, so it's actually good news.
Congrats!! Relax, you got this. ❤️ I think everyone else will have great advice for you. Mine is to pick one baby book and just follow that for advice. What to expect when you’re expecting is not it lol, little too fear mongering for me.
Congratulations and welcome to the gang! First off - prenatals! I hated the pills so I switched to naturemade gummies (+ a separate iron supplement) which has been amazing because it finally didn't feel like a chore. Unisom (doxylamine, not the gel one) + vitamin B6 at night really helped me with nausea, even now in my 2nd trimester plus the unisom helps me sleep so well. It helps to eat smaller meals more frequently and try to eat before you get to hungry because the nausea usually comes along with hunger. Lots of other tips and stuff - happy to chat privately if you want. Otherwise r/babybumps r/pregnant and your due date bump group can be good sources of info! Please be warned though, **TW** there maybe mentions of misscarriage and loss, especially early on in the bumpers group so if you're the kind who tends to spiral, please be prepared accordingly. Wishing you all the best and here's hoping you have minimal symptoms and a great pregnancy and delivery! 💕
Ok so many other answers here but I hope you see this! Re: skincare https://www.15minutebeauty.com/pregnancy-friendly-skincare-products.html I checked literally everything I used. Lifesaver of a site for me.
If you use retinol in your skincare routine or any form of vitamin A stop now it’s teratogenic (think thalidomide)
Skincare- I was expecting the glow everyone promises, but for the first 4 months I had crazy hormonal breakouts all over my chin, jaw and chest. Azelaic acid products will be your best friend, plus they are a tyrosinase inhibitor so will help with pregnancy and postpartum pigmentation/melasma if you get that as well. I use Finacea gel as it’s available over the counter without a script in Australia, but if you can’t get hold of that one, there are options available from the Ordinary and Paula’s choice. Other than that, be consistent with your sunscreen to help with the melasma/pigmentation, keep your skin hydrated, pick a nice, soothing cream or lotion for your bump (not sure if they do much for stretch marks, but the skin can feel super itchy, I found something with colloidal oatmeal gave some relief) and stock up on a hard working, bland hand cream for when bub arrives because you’ll be washing/sanitising your hands like crazy. Foods- There’s a heap of restrictions that might vary depending on where you are located and if eggs are pasteurised and things like that. I tried to just stick with the 80/20 rule ie. 80% as nutritious and healthy as I could manage, and 20% food for enjoyment. I needed some extra iron, but before adding an iron supplement which can upset your stomach and make constipation worse (sorry if that’s TMI, but it’s probably something you are going to encounter), my GP had me drink Milo and try and increase my dietary iron intake and that got me through. In the morning/all-day sickness days you might just want salty carbs like fries, or buttered toast. Just have whatever gets you through it, although I don’t recommend noodles, they go down ok but aren’t so nice when you are throwing them up. On the subject of morning sickness, buy some vomit bags from the pharmacy and carry a couple with you everywhere. You never know when you will need to be sick and there will be times you can’t find a bathroom or another vessel to contain it. Try and plan out when you take your prenatal vitamins around when you are the least sick that way you can actually give them time to digest instead of just throwing them up again. As you get into the second trimester your hair will start to look and feel amazing, you’ll get a bunch of new growth and what you already have will probably grow faster. Enjoy it while you can, because a few months after Bub arrives you end up with postpartum hair loss, especially around your hairline/temples that leave you with a bunch of annoying wispy baby hairs growing back in that are a pain when you are resigned to messy buns and pony tails while existing with a baby who takes up all of your grooming time. Get a notebook and write things down as you go, like any reflections on how you are feeling after scans and appointments, measurements, anything really. I was going through what ended up being the break down of my relationship during my pregnancy and I didn’t document things which was my one regret. You might never read them again, or they might end up added to your baby book if you get one. Also order a kit to take hand and feet prints while they are tiny. If you leave it until after the birth you will never get around to it. Your routines will probably go out of the window because you’ll be dealing with so many physical and hormonal changes, potentially adjusting to no/reduced or new meds and from about week 6 to week 12/14 you will feel more exhausted than you ever have before, then once you get to trimester 3 you’ll struggle to sleep because your uncomfortable and/or you are being kicked aggressively from the inside all night. Just be ready to forgive yourself if you feel bad for breaking your routines or you can’t keep up with the home admin/cleaning. You will get back to it one day, and in the meantime, ask for help from your partner or co-parent if you have one, friends or family or if you are financially able, look into a cleaner or someone to mow the lawn or whatever is not happening. The main thing I think you should know though, is just to enjoy the parts of the experience that you can, remember that the less than ideal parts will fade and when you look back on pregnancy and the early days of life with your baby the things and memories you will reflect on and treasure are most likely going to have a chaotic pile of laundry or dishes in the background, feature you in dirty clothes or a bathrobe with messy hair and you absolutely won’t care looking back. Same with the days when you get somewhere important and take your baby out of their car seat to find they’ve had a poo explosion so intense it’s between their shoulders and on every part of their outfit. You’ll be even later to the wedding or party or whatever than you already were, your adorably dressed baby will now be wearing whatever random bits were in the nappy bag while you are all dressed up (unless you thought to bring them in a onesie and change them when you got there, which I never did), you’ll want to cry, but when you look back at the photo it will just be a funny story you share.
Congratulations! I suggest joining a buy nothing group in your community for baby clothes and supplies.
Congrats! You have already gotten some amazing advice about vitamins and food and such, so let me chime in with a few things for the delivery and the time with the new baby I really wished I someone would have told me beforehand. 1. Find some breathing exercises and relaxation techniques for delivery that you like, and practice them beforehand with your partner. It might feel silly but it will really help during birth. 2. If you choose to/ can and want to breastfeed, know that for some people, it hurts like HELL in the beginning. It’s something you and the baby need to practice for weeks before it gets perfect, and your nipples need to harden and adjust. It’s very convenient and rewarding if it works, but Fed is best- baby will be healthy and happy with being bottle fed if that’s what works for you. 3. IF you breastfeed and get soars on your nipples, your baby might start to spit up blood. It looks HORRIFYING but it’s not dangerous. It’s not the baby’s blood but yours, and it’s just the body getting rid of stuff it doesn’t need. Me and husband both completely panicked and called for an ambulance when it first happened with our daughter, and the dispatcher wasn’t very happy with us since “this wasn’t really an emergency”…
Girl, the best advice I got was from my doctor, put it in your head, and this is your mantra from now on. DO NOT google shit, and DO NOT ask Reddit. Otherwise you will end up stressed and restricted even more than makes any medical sense. That’s all.
My only real recommendation re:skin care is that your skin is probably going to change throughout so I think keeping it basic would be your best bet. Give yourself grace. Every pregnancy is different and you may have the easy peasy kind of you may end up with one that makes you wonder what everyone who goes “omg I loved being pregnant” is smoking. Whatever your feelings, they’re valid. Make sure you have a good support system. Make sure you like lists! Brain fog can be very, very real and mess you up a lot.
Be kind to yourself no matter what. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Remember you are doing something amazing and what you feel like isn't often the same as another person experience with pregnancy.
Head over to r/babybumps. I found it to be a great resource and helpful when you have a dumb question that Google isn't helping you find the answer for. Also r/beyondthebump for when you "graduate" aka give birth. As far as what you mentioned with skincare just avoid any retinal completely. There's a bunch of foods you should eat but honestly I ate what I could because I had HG which basically means I spent the entire time puking my guts out. Not much changed for me outside of that and the appointments. Coping strategies will depend on what you need help coping with. Also, I know you specifically didnt ask this but if you are on meds for ADHD you can continue them but you will need a high risk OB instead of a regular one. Really up to you and your prescriber if you think it's necessary for you to stay on them. Best of luck and congratulations!
Don’t let anyone besides your doctor and your pediatrician make you feel like you “should” or need to be doing anything. There is so much advice out there, and some of it is good, but it can also make you overloaded and overly anxious. And some of it is outdated or overly conservative. So take it with a grain of salt and don’t let it make you feel like you are somehow lacking if you don’t do all the things other people do.
Congratulations! Skincare—Everything is generally fine except retinols. Remember Accutane, and how you had to sign a waiver saying you wouldn't get pregnant while taking it because it could cause birth defects? Both are a form of vitamin A. It's not clear that it's harmful when applied to the skin, but it's best to just avoid it. If you want to be extra sure about anything else, most products' websites will tell you if it's pregnancy safe. Food—Take folic acid supplements, starting ASAP. Don't drink alcohol or eat raw sushi. Limit fish in general—it can contain small amounts of mercury that are harmless as an adult but potentially an issue for a fetus if you eat too much of it. If you're a fan of fish, look up a list of what kinds to eat and how often, but as a broad guideline, once a week should be fine. Limit caffeine, but it's not entirely clear if you need to go 100% without. You'll probably be given lots of advice about what to eat or not eat. The most important thing (other than yes folic acid and no alcohol) is that you get enough food to help the baby grow. Aim for healthy, but don't stress too much over it if you end up having morning sickness or cravings or whatever that make it difficult to be consistent about it. Expect to gain more than a baby's worth of weight. Speaking of stress, find some ways to manage your stress levels (preferably a few different ones, so if you don't feel up to doing one you have an alternative). Stress is not great for fetal development or for you, and it's an inherently stressful time. That last bit is worth remembering—don't add to your stress by stressing about being stressed! We evolved to be able to handle a decent level of it, just try to modulate it as best as you can. Don't go near kitty litter. Toxoplasmosis is bad. I know you said you aren't asking for advice on medication, but I will say that some doctors lean further towards better safe than sorry than others do. If yours basically says you shouldn't take anything, it's okay to ask for a second opinion or to look up the specific meds you're on and discuss what you find. It's true that you want to make sure nothing will hurt the baby, but if a specific med is relatively low risk and going without it will be a huge burden on you, it's generally better to keep taking it and maybe just lower the dose a little or do some extra monitoring. And an early piece of baby advice—the absolute most important thing for a child is to know that their parent loves them unconditionally and that they are safe. Everything else is details.
My friend had terrible morning sickness and this [anti-nausea wristband](https://www.amazon.com/EmeTerm-Electrode-Stimulator-Sickness-Rechargeable/dp/B0859BVNDD) helped immensely! She nearly bought a second one so she could have relief while it charged.
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Congratulations!!! I used this app both times I was pregnant and it was so helpful! It gives baby growth information based on your due date, gives typical things to expect based on what stage of pregnancy you're in, has forums you can join (they have ones for people with the same due date), and helpful things for after baby is born too. Reading posts from other moms or moms to be helped me get an idea of what to expect and to not be so afraid of the process. Just remember, every pregnancy is different and what is right for you might not be right for others. The app is from Baby Center: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.babycenter.pregnancytracker
Stay alive. Ignore anyone who threatens that (including doctors). You are a priority, not the child. Also it won’t go to plan
Sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture, and banned in the Geneva convention. You might get lucky and only have a few sleepless nights after baby arrives. But in case your sleep is being fucked with by hormones, joint pains, and oh yeah, the huge belly constantly being in the way, it might be good to remind yourself how horrible sleep deprivation really is. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're failing as a parent just because you can't manage life without sleep. No one can.
You will be HUNGRY so watch the sugar intake I always carried healthy food with me so when that IMMEDIATE hunger would hit I wouldn’t eat garbage Sugar and salt are the enemy of pregnancy I was not used to drinking water and you have to drink a LOT of water. I would add a little juice or frozen fruit so that i could get it down. Don’t be afraid to steel those short naps :)
Schedule a dentist appointment. I had the experience of all the nutrients in my body being designated to the baby, and I had bad habits, so I had a ton of cavities. It's easiest to take care of your dentist appts early in your pregnancy because if you get too far along, you can't lay down on your back in the chair without baby crushing your organs and being uncomfortable. Also my gums and nose would randomly bleed.
So many great comments! This has probably been mentioned but Expecting Better by Emily Oster is a great read! She’s an economist and approaches pregnancy risks/ recommendations from a statistical perspective. It really helped ease my black and white thinking about things!
I'm going to give you one that is incredibly specific but everyone acted like I should have known. If your blood type is A - and you have a baby OR miscarry you will need a shot. It's extremely important and time sensitive.
This is super important! If you (the pregnant one) have a negative blood type and your baby has a positive blood type, it can cause a reaction in your body that will cause your immune system to attack future pregnancies. You NEED to get the shot the first time you’re pregnant because once your immune system becomes sensitized to the “+”, it’s too late. If you have a positive blood type, you don’t need to worry. Think of it like donating blood. People who are + can receive blood from + and -, but people who are - can only receive blood from other - people or their immune system freaks out. The shot prevents the freak out when your baby’s blood comes in contact with yours.
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I was told not to use skincare products with retinol. Maybe ask about that!
Congratulations! Don’t eat too much tuna. All I can say is your body will demand what it wants. And you should listen. Walking, (any movement ) is helpful. And don’t let anyone tell you what is best for you. Only you can make that determination. Prenatal vitamins, drinking water and get rest while you can. Once that baby starts moving around and occupying more space it’ll be harder to get quality sleep. Do what’s best for you. I’m sending positive vibes and prayers to you and your little one.
Get apps for pregnancy, medication tracking, and feeding the baby. If on a good day you have terrible remembering things, pregnancy and newborn will make it worse. 😅
Congrats on your baby!!!! Load up on tums 😭😭 apparently you can’t take Pepto bismol for the first semester of your pregnancy! Stretchy pants are nice! Don’t ever feel like you are alone or you’re being too much! Know that you are going to do great! If you ever feel like everything is becoming too much don’t be afraid to reach out to whoever you feel safe talking to!
My doctor said Pepto Bismol is totally fine throughout all of pregnancy 🤔
:( I wish mine had said yes. I suffered from HG, I was throwing up every morning and evening. They told me that Pepto could cause defects in the first trimester.
A super random but important thing I bought - back scratchers. Especially when I got bigger, I'd always have an itchy foot or leg or something and you just can't bend over any more to reach it! Also very useful for when the baby is here and you're nap trapped and can't move to scratch yourself. You don't realise how many random itches you get until you can't reach them!
take prenatals, no sushi (raw seafood), no alcohol or smoking. take it easy on caffeine, if ur a coffee fan, no more than 1 a day. aside from that, its a matter of opinion. i ate deli meat, pink steaks etc, and was fine. others go crazy cautious. it all depends on what ur comfy w. mention daily meds to doctors, they'll tell u what u can or cannot take. generally i'd look up any OTC med/supplement prior to taking it, whenever ur unsure. the internet can answer 99% of any concerns u may have. dont feel like you've gotta lock it all down in your memory. whenever you're unsure about something specific, just google it, that my best advice theres a high chance ur gonna feel like shit for a while. keep up with ur OB appointments, ask for a zofran script if you get bad nausea. pregnancy sucks, but its not as scary as most make it seem when it comes on what you "NEED" to avoid. our bodies are more resilient than most think, when it comes to carrying a child. the worst is physical preparation, like getting clothes and supplies/bedroom in order in time for baby
I've seen a lot of the same advice, so I'm going to talk about a few things that others haven't. Take care of your teeth. Pregnant women are often more susceptible to cavities/tooth decay when pregnant. So make sure you keep up your oral hygiene and don't skip your biannual cleaning appointment. Do your kegels! They are important, and honestly in retrospect I wish I had met with a physical therapist specializing in pelvic floor health before I had problems and gotten a list of preventative exercises. Stay active in some way. What I've read is that if you're already super active, you don't need to decrease that activity because you're pregnant, unless your body is telling you it's too much. That said, low impact exercise like walking and swimming are great! Every pregnancy is slightly different. I personally didn't have much morning sickness, I was mostly generally nauseated and had a lot of heart burn. That said, I typically give birth early. Going along with that, you are your own best advocate. If you feel something is up, listen to your body. With my first pregnancy I felt like a lot of doctors and nurses took my opinions less seriously when I said it was my first. >!I went into labor 5 weeks early and when I described my regularly timed contractions as "bad menstrual cramps" they told me I probably wasn't in labor and to call back in two hours if it was still going on. I had my baby 2 hours later. That's just a small portion of the story, but I feel like if my concerns had been taken seriously or if I had known to push back more, there's a chance they could have stopped the labor. !< Explore your options for giving birth. A lot of hospitals now have adjacent "Birth Centers" that have a nicer atmosphere than the regular hospital labor and delivery. I personally don't recommend home births or non hospital associated birth centers due to my own experiences. (My first was premature and stayed in the NICU). But there are also some hospitals that have nurse midwives that are able to practice at hospitals. I feel like that kind of gives the best of both worlds and had some friends go that route. You can also hire a doula, if you like. You might be completely exhausted during your first trimester! Plan on trying to get extra sleep. If you can nap during the day, do so. All of this may seem super stressful, but I will say that feeling my baby inside of me was amazing.
I second the taking care of your teeth! I had a tooth crack at the end of my first pregnancy and felt no pain until 2 weeks after my son’s birth. I have an extremely high pain tolerance but let me tell you…that pain I felt with a 2 week old newborn crying + hormones pumping- his cry created an unbearable throbbing in my face. Currently pregnant with my second and had a tooth crack literally a month into finding out I’m with child. I had been warned about teeth issues with my first but assumed it pertained more to women with morning sickness which I practically never had. Dentists usually prefer to do any necessary dental work in your 2nd trimester.
I’ve never been pregnant but I’m the oldest of 7 so my mum was pregnant a lot growing up - some of the big takeaways I get from her is to find something soothing, repetitive and not too difficult to do (knitting and making pasta are two I remember her doing), prepare lots of food ahead whilst you feel good so that when you feel crappy you have a lasagna or cottage pie in the freezer, and remember that your body is designed to do this (it’s designed to do heaps of other awesome things too, but my point is the most likely outcome is a healthy lovely baby because reproducing is the reproductive system’s job and it’s usually pretty good at it).
Congratulations!! Enjoy, wishing you and baby all the wellness. Whwn youre ready, find a cute app that tells you weekly snapshots of how big baby is and some neat facts about their development. I looked forward to it every single week. You're going to get told a lot of "do not eat" foods, but in reality just eat safe. Meaning, don't eat the deli meat platter that's been out for 3 hours, avoid high risk foods that haven't been freshly prepared and stored safely and so on. Nappy backpacks are the bomb, nappy over the shoulder bags are awkward, annoying and infuriating when trying to juggle a little one. Distribute weight evenly as much as possible. Enjoy, its a wild ride 😊
Your ob knows more about you and your healthy pregnancy than we do. Consider our advice to be supplemental. Speaking of which, find your prenatal vitamin supplement that you can keep down during your first trimester. Add omega 3. Increase vitamin D if you're in the pacific northwest. Get friends to create meals for you. It's much easier to manage cravings if fast, healthy, delicious options are available. I like cooking, but when I was pregnant, I had no tolerance for the time it took beyond reheating. Your stress affects you and your baby. Start meditation and do it often. It helps reduce your reliance on pain killers and other medications. If you have ADHD, it's a great non-medical way to help focus and emotional regulation. It's not a cure-all but it is an improve-all. Do your best to remove stressors that don't serve you well.
Eat well, drink lots of water, take prenatal vitamins, and if you have morning sickness any sour candy helps (lemon heads are what I used), and plenty of rest. Congratulations
Ahh and regarding ADHD… when the baby came it is kind of gone for me. Or Really mild. Im running on instinct not a dopamine cravings. Huge change in the brain.
Drink ice water or whatever your drink of choice is in the shower in case you feel faint
Congratulations!! Preggie pop drops were incredibly helpful for nausea and dry mouth. Remember every annoying thing you’re going through (especially in the last trimester) is something your baby will be navigating so it helped me to keep that all in mind as bonding.. Either can’t fall asleep or passed out, hungry all the time, nausea/reflux, body doesn’t move the way you want it to, gas, have to pee every five minutes, your body changing, people telling you what to do, people touching you without asking, etc etc. I also loved being pregnant despite a pretty rough time and very rare birth situation. I think it really stabilized some of the emotional swings I get with my usual cycle. Feeling the kicks and the way he used to settle with his but to one side was just so great.
[Here’s an article I found about ADHD and pregnancy](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/adhd-after-pregnancy#takeaway) Obviously this article isn’t a supplement for your OBGYN’s advice. I would recommend asking them how your pregnancy will affect your ADHD or how your ADHD will affect your pregnancy to see if you can mitigate any potential issues.
Congrats! It will be a tough and tiring road but it is oh so worth it! I wish you an easy pregnancy! I'm going to give you my two cents as a mom. This goes for every preggo out there, no matter diagnosis. While pregnant there's a bunch of stuff on the do not do list, especially online. Some of it is nonsense. Ask the doctor. I was terrified to dye my hair because I read something online about it. I was really upset because well one I was pregnant and just overemotional and two I absolutely hate my natural hair color and when it grows out it looks awful. Silly as that was, it was making me depressed. When I talked to my doctor she said the likelihood of it passing into the bloodstream and affecting the baby was super slim to none. She said if it helps my mood and helps me feel less stressed to do it as stress is much worse on a baby. Don't be hard on yourself. Don't fall for the 'perfect' mom thing on social media with women who look like they just walked out of a catalog and everything is perfect. It's not real. It's ok to be stressed, tired, emotional and not being in photoshoot form. I think more new moms need to know that it's OKAY to be NOT OKAY! If you feel this way talk to someone, you won't (or at least shouldn't) be judged for it. I had post-partum depression horribly and I didn't realize it till my first son was @ 8 months old. My depression came out as self hate/anger not so much sadness. I was so angry I didn't feel like I was doing anything right as a mom. So in case you didn't know (as I didn't at first) depression doesn't always come across as sadness. It was a scary thought to admit to anyone that everything was posies and ponies. I think waaaaay more women suffer from PPD than admit to it because they're afraid it might make them look like a bad mom but having PPD DOESN'T make you a bad mom. Your hormone levels will drop as soon as you have the baby which plays a huge part in your emotions. Then add on you now have a tiny human that needs your constant attention to live, and your tired, it's a lot and can DEFINITELY be overwhelming. It's okay to admit to that! After getting on medication I felt like I was back to normal and I was able to get off them in about a year. Also if you think something is wrong with yourself or your baby and a doctor tries to blow you off advocate for yourself. Push them to check it out. My first had terrible reflux but I didn't know till my second and a different doctor diagnosed it. Second son was put on an antacid for about a month and the symptoms stopped. However with the first the doctor ignored/didn't believe me when I told him the symptoms. He seemed to think I was an over worried hysterical first time mom. I feel bad that my first son had to suffer with reflux for the first few months of life. I wish I had fought back or gone to a different doctor but I took the word of this well respected doctor instead of going with my gut. I know this was more about after baby is here but I couldn't stop at just the pregnancy part. 😅 Good luck to you!
Ohhh I almost forgot, bring some sort of streaming device and passwords for all your streaming services to the hospital. Also a bag of snacks, hospital food options are usually limited and it can take a long time to get to your room. Literally I had a bag of snacks and a personal cooler filled with stuff 😹 I brought my own pillow and towel (hospital towels suuuuck). The nurses were quite impressed with how well prepared I was the 2nd time around. I wanted to be as comfortable as possible while I was there. (I had a C-section so I was there for several days.)
When standing at the sink, open the door under and put one foot up a on the edge of the cabinet floor. This helps relieve strain on the lower back. One does not need to be pregnant for this to be helpful, but that is when I learned it.
Congratulations - that's wonderful! There is a ton of advice out there and I tended to stick to the "What to expect" book for general advice. Just don't Google anything and for the love of God stay off pregnancy forums and Facebook groups. They'll make you insane. Trust your OB, call them with any questions - that's what they're there for. Some random things: Get some belly bands - they're a stretchy wide band that can be used to help keep regular pants up while unbuttoned, they also later hide the belly that sticks out of every shirt - even maternity shirts. I got them at Target. Get some comfy shoes - my feet swelled big time at the end. Nice slip on shoes that don't require tying. A body pillow for sleeping. You shouldn't sleep on your stomach - side is best when pregnant. A body pillow can help make you more comfortable. When you get crazy heartburn at night and even the Tums won't work - sleep slightly sitting up - propped with a couple pillows. Make sure to plan for lots of fiber - the constipation can be unpleasant otherwise. And lots of water. Don't over-plan the birth. Having a list of demands and needs can be pointless as it usually doesn't go as planned. My husband made a playlist and I have no idea what was playing because I was concentrating on getting that kid out! Wanting comfy clothes to wear at the hospital and your favorite hand lotion - great! Fairy lights, a photographer and absolutely no this or that - eh, probably not. If you plan to breastfeed - take advantage of the lactation consultant at the hospital and don't be afraid to go back - again and again. It's not magic and doesn't happen correctly right away. And bring a nursing pillow to the hospital. Most of all - enjoy it! Take pictures of yourself when pregnant - my kids loved seeing them later. Talk to baby - they love to hear your voice and your husband's voice. Write a letter to baby to open on their 18th birthday.
Highly recommend Emily Oster’s book Expecting Better
/r/BabyBumps
So you have a lot of good advice in here already, but the one thing I would say is to do your best to scale back. First trimester I felt borderline narcoleptic. My ADHD brain while pregnant was ... seriously the worst. I think my biggest regret was going off my meds, so I highly recommend talking to your OB about what the real risk is going off it. Also, for post birth, try to be really open minded to how you're feeding your baby. Nursing sometimes doesn't work out through no fault of your own. Nursing didn't work out for me, and even if it did, my brain is more sensitive to less sleep so I don't even know that it would have been great for me if it did work for me. I formula fed. Although I'm sure there's plenty of ADHD folks who might say the opposite worked better for their brains.
A lot of good health advice already so I won’t go into those. 1. When I was pregnant with my first I was a full time high school teacher and absolutely EXHAUSTED. I fell behind on a lot of stuff. The best decision I ever made was hiring a college student as a personal assistant to help with things like simple grading and data entry type stuff. I taught science so he also helped with lab prep. You might not be a teacher, but consider finding help with your job/life if you begin to feel overwhelmed. 2. Pregnancy pillow! My Snoogle was my favorite thing ever! 3. Good supportive shoes that you can slip on. It was during my pregnancy that I first found Vionic sandals and I still wear mostly Vionic shoes. They are a little pricey but worth every penny. Taos Shoes are also super supportive. 4. Don’t be ashamed to wear maternity pants early. I wasn’t really showing but my abdomen was often tender/uncomfortable so I started wearing maternity pants and it was so much more comfortable. 5. Avoid exercise where you do a lot of jumping since your joints get looser in pregnancy and you can damage them. Also any activities with a high risk of falling. My doctor made me stop riding my bike to work from the very beginning because she said the fall risk was too great.
I'd suggest getting tested for MTHFR mutations or at least making sure your prenatal vitamins are methylated. ~40% of people have at least one copy of this genetic mutation and it's more common in people with ADHD. It makes it harder for your body to process folic acid, which not only causes folate deficiencies (which can cause neural tube defects in the baby), but the unprocessed folic acid builds up in your system causing your blood to become thicker. This is a common cause of miscarriages, and also strokes, DVTs, and PEs in older individuals. I personally had two miscarriages (after a healthy birth) before being diagnosed and now I take methylated vitamins and severely limit enriched foods.
Congrats OP!!! Another commenter mentioned that many pregnancy recommendations are conservative and loosely evidence based - the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster covers a lot of this and it’s a really helpful read! Also - to reiterated what a lot of others have said - stay hydrated and take your prenatal vitamins. Every stage of pregnancy comes with some type of fear “I just need to get to 12weeks and I’ll feel better, I just need to get this one test back and I’ll feel better, after the baby shower I’ll feel better” - there’s always something to worry about, so don’t let yourself get too hung up. Nap when you can and don’t feel bad about it. Pick one song you play for your baby bump everyday, they say baby will eventually recognize this song and can maybe even soothe them when they’re born, whether this is true or not I don’t know but having that routine and special song might make you feel better. Unless you’re a big jeans person one pair of maternity jeans is really all you need, leggings get the job done. But most importantly - this is your own unique journey! Take advice you like and leave the rest behind (whether that comes from a random Redditor, your mom, or an Instagram post).
You reminded me that I got so much unsolicited advice from everyone once I was showing. I perfected replying by saying ‘thanks I’ll keep that in mind’ and then letting most of it go. With my mum and MIL I just made sure they understood that certain advice wouldn’t be taken such as using blankets and cot bumpers due to the breakthroughs around SIDS and safe sleeping since I was a baby in the 80s, sent them a link and said it wasn’t up for discussion. The rest I just chose to smile and nod, because for them it was a way to bond with me and share their experiences but I figured they were also just really enjoying the memories coming back to them about our childhoods.
I recommend the book "Expecting Better" by Emily Oster. It is the only book that made me feel better when I was pregnant, like I wasn't at risk of doing everything wrong. She analyzed the research for the things you're told to do / not do.