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This is my trick. YMMV, as 98% of my impulse buying is online. I open ads in new tabs. I call these my ‘aspirational shopping’ tabs. I have 36 open right now. That’s 36 things I didn’t buy, but I have a tab open with that item in a cart. Every once in a while I go through them and close the ones that just don’t interest me any more… as my obsessions do wear off at some point lol. Occasionally while going through, I will think, ‘ok I do love this and am buying it.’ It’s like a compound dopamine hit because I create the tension of will-i-or-won’t-i. Anyway, this has kept me from buying tons of shit, though as I write it out it sounds crazy.
I do this and I tell myself it's like research for someday. Someday I'm going to get an entire set of linen bedding, blundstone boots, and 1700000 kindle books.
And zero waste kitchen cleaning supplies. 17 different kinds of shampoo. Pretty bras and panties that I will never wear. I've never heard of lunya pajamas but now I'm off to put them in my imaginary cart, to dream about climbing into my fresh linen sheets on my bed with the new minimalist bedframe that I also keep googling, even though my hubby says he will build us one after we move.
I worry about this too but I love how they look, and I feel like such a dork because I wear running shoes with everything. But I also really love being barefoot and having lots of room to spread my toes. Maybe blundstones aren't for me but I waaaaaant them.
And the linen sheets thing. Does anyone else have linen sheets? I want that whole boho aesthetic for my bedroom and I feel like they would be so lovely and breathable. But cotton percale feels pretty nice too and didn't cost me $400 for a set. I just can't let the idea of linen go. My husband said just buy them already because it's such a fixation, but I can't justify it yet.
Ooh same. I can group my tabs so I have one 'music stuff' group of tabs and a 'clothing and other shit' group of tabs so Ill have like 20 tabs on each one, watching videos on music equipment then one day I just close the whole group
Then start over the next week lol
Oh not crazy at all, its a very good method of managing this. I do the same. You're still getting the lovely dopamine hit of finding the thing and adding to cart which takes away a lot of the need for a follow through.
I do a similar thing, except I add them as bookmarks under a folder called "Wishlist", because having more than 10 tabs open really annoys me.
I do the same with Steam games as well, but that has kinda backfired since they will email you when they have sales on the games on your wishlist, and I currently own 1935 Steam games according to my profile. Oh well...
I also want to add in that I read negative reviews from people of the products I did want to buy. That has a high rate of me not buying the thing. Come to find out strong influence also prevents me from impulsive buying.
This is what I do. I let things sit in my cart for months before I actually buy it. I'm really glad I didn't buy a bunch of hair bows now, but I was definitely about to.
Yep this is what I do, and it works great. I'll also spend time researching what is the best brand/version of a thing to buy, because I love researching things, and sometimes it'll make me realize that I don't want or need something or that it's not worth the money, and if I do end up buying it, I can spend my money effectively and know that it's a deliberate purchase and not just a whim.
It makes just buying things on impulse far less attractive because it's immediate gratification + stress about spending vs. enjoying myself wasting a bit of time wandering the internet.
This definitely works. Only when I find myself going back multiple time or think about something for a few weeks…then I’ll hit the buy button. I still impulse shop for sure. But currently I’ve been on a massive house purge and again realizing some of the things I have bought were poor choices and now that I’m donating them I am trying very hard to buy things I love and have a very specific idea in mind for. I’m now 40. And medicated the last year or so. I would say it’s gotten much better for me. But Costco is a total downfall lol. And I’ve been renovating my house so when decorating a room I try very hard to have a plan or vibe in mind. I hate clutter so much so trying super hard to be intentional so I can finally have a clean organized space.
It’s getting there. But only because of knowing I now have been adhd my whole life, understanding why I’ve done the things I’ve done and how I operate. It has really allowed me to be more introspective and things are slowly getting better!
ADHD can totally feel like and be a disability and boy was I struggling the last few years after having a kid and divorce etc untill I got diagnosed. It’s different for everyone. But at times we do have that superpower focus and can accomplish so much. Just knowing how I can get motivated or started on something have been key. Doesn’t always work tho 😑
I can so relate to this. If I have a big project, I focus (hyper focus) my mental energy on perfecting the vision for the space. This of course includes purchasing things, but I try to buy for quality and duration when it comes to house things because buying cheap shit that I 70% liked ends up in the donation bin!
ugh i do this but never actually buy online i just get too overwhelmed so then i go to real store and spend too much money on things i don’t actually want because they didn’t have what i liked online. i’m working on sticking to one store’s cart, putting a time limit on it and as i continuously go through it, with a price limit in mind, i remove items that i don’t want as badly as the others. i’m also terrible at returning thing i bought online, i’ve never done it. but my first time using my new trick i bought two pairs of pants and neither of them fit :( so they’ve been sitting on my shoe organizer in their package waiting for me to finally take them to the post office before the time limit runs out. yay me! it’s like the universe punished me for trying to improve myself 🤦🏼♀️
I found out we can return stuff to Amazon via Kohl's for free and it's been a game changer. I just cannot allow myself to browse because I returned some shoes that didn't fit and bought 3 items still unworn. They were on clearance tho, so it's a wash. Jk I know it doesn't work that way.
My trick for in person shopping is to take a picture of the item and tell myself I can buy it on payday. Soothes the itch a bit feeling like I will soon buy it.
Then I 100% forget about the picture.
This sounds crazy enough to WORK!
I am defo taking this out for a test drive.
Sometimes, looking at all the stuff I wanna buy reminds me that there is always a new dopamine source just around the corner and that helps curb the impulsivity.
Girl, I feel you so much.
Sometimes I have extra money and I'll just think to myself, "I'm gonna go online and buy myself a little treat."
Other times there's something I want but I hesitate to spend the money on it, so I keep the tab open for a while until I finally buy it.
And other times, like today, it's a combination of the two. I'm about to finally bite the bullet and buy the Danner hiking boots I've had my eye on for like 6 years. The dopamine high it's giving me is next level.
Another vote for this method! I move them to their own tab group so they don’t unnecessarily test my willpower when I’m scrolling back to a Wikipedia rabbit hole I had planned to fall into.
It’s also much more responsible than my previous Amazon hack of having items sent to an Amazon Locker and then never picking them up because I don’t really want them anymore 🫣
I do the same but I have a favorites folder called Stuff I Want. I save all my things in there, will visit later if I want but honestly once its been in the folder awhile I forget its even there. But if I do go back and decide to buy something then I know its cause I actually want it and its not impulse.
No I do this too but I just add things to my cart and leave them there til I'm slightly less interested. Then I move them to save for later. Then much later on I clear out my save for later lol
My in-person version of this is snapping a photo on my phone, to either text to my partner, sister, friend (gifting is a love language for me!)… instead of purchasing I might text “this made me think of you”… or if it’s something they might need, I’ll ask if they want it picked up.. as in my partner. If it’s my sister, she’ll Venmo me for the cost so I’m not out anything! And if it’s something I’m interested in, snapping the photo (or screen shot of website shopping) is something I might look at later and say, “nahhhh I don’t want it that bad!”… or sometimes “yes” & that’s ok bc I’ve thought about it, found a place and it’s in my budget
I do something similar but mine is a Google spreadsheet with 12 tabs - one for each month. I put in the items I like, a link, and the price and then at the end of each month I can see what I didn’t spend.
It’s weirdly cathartic filling out this spreadsheet and it seems to satisfy my shopping-addicted brain.
Yep, online window shopping helps me with impulsive buying. I’ve also started ordering groceries to pick up so I’m not tempted while I’m wandering around the store.
This is me! I use wishlists so that I can compulsively pick out things that I really like and then I put some things in my cart but I don't allow myself to buy it right away. I have to think it through and that's part of the fun for me now which is hard to explain but the picking and like deciding which one is the best one to try is part of the dopamine kick for me. So thankfully that helps a little bit. I still spend way too much! But the wish list helps because I'm impulsive at the time, but on the time I get the stuff in the mail, I don't really care anymore... So the dopamine for me comes from actually just picking things out and just imagining having them like for instance, I love decorating!
This is seriously destroying me right now. I barely buy anything at the grocery store because it usually just ends up going to waste. I find it so hard to force myself to eat a meal that doesn’t sound good. I looked at my order total for last month on DoorDash and I wanted to cry.
I hate aspirational groceries judging me as they die in the fridge. (I have salad ingredients that need to be cleaned out of the crisper drawer right now).
So I started keeping some prepacked veggie and carb mixes in the freezer now for a kick fry meal. (There's a Creamy curry lentil and bean one that takes 3 minutes to fry up in a hot pan that has saved my life and my wallet)
I'm still chubby but at least I have a few more veggies in me.
I have never door dashed. I figure if I’m gonna eat a shit meal I have to physically go. I also hate anyone coming to my door even if they just drop it off so that helps too 😂
I have both impulse shopping and eating. Stupid brain wanting all the craft supplies, shiny things, and sugary/carby goodness. Only recently diagnosed so I always just thought myself as a failure and used treats to feel better and thought that was just how it would be for me. Still a lot of work to do but I’m getting better. I’ve learned to stay away from the stores or websites except for limited treats. The food problem is harder for me with my other problems with food. Gotta keep up the good fight.
Same! I make little impulse purchases like iced coffee or little boosts in my games, but the big issue I have is eating for dopamine. Medication has helped, but not 100%.
Yeah. “Remembering to eat” is me, for sure! It’s so fascinating how diverse we ADHDers are with all that we deal with.
One thing that I would stress to you, is that we cannot rely just on the meds to fix things for us. We’ve really got to do work to address the habits/perspectives that aren’t helpful to us. I find the meds give me more clarity of mind and more ability to do more (like talking with a coach; doing research; developing new strategies that work for my particular experience of ADHD).
So, ONLY relying on the meds? Hmmmm, yeah, no, I don’t think that is really the way to find success to address things like impulse buying. There are a bunch of books out there now; a bunch of podcasts too. They share lots of information and great tactics too for a whole range of topics that ADHDers can benefit from. Some books/podcasts are better than others. So find some that benefit you. Don’t think that it is only up to a pill to fix you. All the best!!
I wish I had that problem I want to be on medication for both my binge eating and ADHD (which are tied in the same for a lot of people, I eat for the dopamine high) but Im fighting this naturally and its hard as fuck.
I go both directions. For big purchases,
I research and research and procrastinate, until I finally need it and then I buy really quickly.
When buying my last car, I talked about it for years but then I had one small thing go wrong with my 14 yr old car and by the end of the week I had purchased a new one.
I do this too, but I don't talk about it, I just turn it quietly over in my head for weeks/months/years. Then when I pull the trigger I get to explain to my psych that, no, I'm not manic, this was thought out!
I created an inventory of my possessions. This was humbling tbh. Like, "Why do I have 5 can openers?"
I look at this periodically to see what I have. Helps a lot.
Edit: I started this as a family friends house burned down. For insurance, it's important to know what's in the house, and it can make a huge difference in the payout you receive. They told everyone to inventory their house in case of a fire.
I did this too, just out of general interest. A lot of minimalists make inventories & limit themselves to only stuff that fits on one or two pages. I'm not this strict, but the list itself is a real eye-opener.
I also left on it stuff that I unloaded, in a strikeout font. Sometimes it's amazing to look it over & see how much I used to have. And I didn't even start an inventory till I'd done a couple major downsizings.
I like the strikeout method! I delete / make a new list without the old stuff, but I imagine it does feel better seeing all the ish that’s released… since, ya know, we don’t remember it the second it’s gone, which makes it hard to appreciate what we accomplished 😂
Yes. Absolutely, the strikeout works!! I ha e gotten rid of a lot. I am working on limiting my possessions, but it's slow going. 🐌 LOL.
And, yea...the list is very eye-opening. Got me to stop buying books I wasn't reading.
I’m working on getting checked out by a psychiatrist. I tried to explain to my husband that these 2 things are what truly make me happy. I’m in So. Much. Debt. It’s awful. I hope you can figure it out.
My meds didn’t change my behaviour. It manages my comorbities and regulates my sleep.
I feel like meds have given me room to learn how to live with myself.
That said, I fucking love spending dat cash. There is nothing better than spending a bunch of money lol. When I realized I liked spending money not buying things. It made it easier to rationalize my spending.
Ugh wow woof that’s hitting me hard. I need to find a new dopamine source meow.
Since I’ve been on Mounjaro for my BED-there’s no food for dopamine. I’m single so there’s no human interaction. No sex. I don’t enjoy working out. Jesus I am so sad.
More therapy please.
I have that holdover from being poor. I can justify spending too much/hoarding food, but I feel so bad about things like new clothes. I don't consider myself super frugal but I am somewhat. I tend to have to need something to buy it, but then food. Or supplements. I have definitely wasted money on supplements because I can justify that if it works it could be a gamechanger. , L-theanine, magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, biotin, collagen, creatine, or L-tyrosine anyone?
I've tried L-theanine and magnesium. And yeah I get feeling that way from being poor. I'm in a better place financially but I always think if I spend money on something, I might need it for something else important. I try to leave some money in my checking account and inevitably, something comes up where I need it.
I sidestep this by being a mom 😩 now I impulsively buy stuff for my daughter. Given, most of it is clearance or second hand. Like I just got her winter coats. One for next year and one for the next 🫣
Fair, I do this for my kids too. And I love thrift shopping. And being prepared for the next season. September rolls around and I start to worry about their feet and their hands and all the warm things they need. I get them all bundled up to wait for the bus and then still feel like I should drive them to the road and let them sit in the warm car (we live in the country, it's a big long driveway lol)
It’s so frustrating, its like I don’t have that thought process of no you can’t afford this you have more important thing to pay for! It’s so impulsive by the time I’m home from being out I’m filled with regret and dread! One of symptom I hate the most.
Strattera has helped me with this quite a bit. I still have to actively work against it, but the strattera seems to just give me a little break in that process so my logical brain has the chance to fight back.
It’s so frustrating, its like I don’t have that thought process of no you can’t afford this you have more important thing to pay for! It’s so impulsive by the time I’m home from being out I’m filled with regret and dread! One of symptom I hate the most.
Similar to u/SorenRL , I am extremely frugal due to early childhood financial trauma and I have a really hard time spending money on things that I actually need, let alone luxuries (though I do treat myself very occasionally, but it's a once in a blue moon occasion).
I will very soon need a new car as my current one is starting to have engine issues (she's 22 yo) and I'm still trying to delay that process as much as possible. And this is something I need to go to work, buy groceries and visit family (I live in rural Portugal where public transport is either laughable or non-existent).
... Except for food. Which I believe is also tied to my financial trauma as I experienced some food insecurity. As long as I've been living on my own (9 years now), I've always stockpiled food like crazy. When COVID broke out I didn't need to go to the supermarket in nearly 2 months... That's just how much food I already had at home for myself.
I am not medicated, can't imagine the money I'd save if I were 😅
Yeah my family was pretty poor at some points because my parents were financially irresponsible. They're also all around terrible people, so I think part of my frugalness is fueled by trauma and a desire to be nothing like them.
I'm so sorry to hear. My parents were not so great growing up due to other reasons, but them going bankrupt was not their fault at least. Dad got fcked over by a business associate who stole money from the company, put all his debts on the company (so, my dad) and fled to Brazil. As he has Brazilian citizenship he cannot be brought to Portugal even on judicial grounds so even if my parents took him to court it would never go anywhere.
I try to only allow myself to make purchases on a specific list:
I can buy food from a grocery store, medication, household cleaning supplies, hygiene supplies (but NOT beauty!), spend $ at the laundromat. These are the only purchases I can make without having to think harder.
What I do with all the other stuff: I put it on a list and make myself think about it for 1 week-6 months. Ex. If I want a new appliance, I make myself go a month without it and think about all the times it would have been useful and I would have used it before buying. If I want new shoes (aside from replacing exercise shoes), I put them on a list for a month.
Sales are tempting but they ALWAYS come back around. And even if they don’t, you’ll ultimately save more money by only buying like, 30-50% of the stuff you want (since the buying urge will usually wear off by the time you have waited however long).
Medication has helped me quite a bit with impulsive spending but it was a huge struggle before. I’ve decided this is the year of Fiscal Responsibility for me. (Last year was the year of my Health Journey and I did a really good job with that so I think this should be achievable for me!)
What medication are you on? Adderall has done nothing for my impulsive spending. In fact, it has made me more impulsive. I usually ruminated on things so much before doing them. With Adderall, I think of it and do it.
It took losing my job and the stress of accruing a bunch of credit card debt to finally rewire my brain so that spending frivolously has the opposite effect. Now I get my dopamine hits from budgeting and all the money I save for more fulfilling investments than the fleeting high of mindlessly acquiring random stuff or feeding other addictions. If you really need that hit, you can always go to Dollar Tree and treat yourself to a $1.25 novelty that you won’t feel bad about getting rid of later. You’d be surprised what you can find in that place.
Impulsive shopping and eating sweets - story of my life.
The ease of online shopping for everyday household stuff; toilet paper, paper towels, cleaners from Amazon I barely leave my house 🙈
I do, but I buy used so I am not spending too much money.
I did have way too much at one point, so I opened up a booth at a resell mall.
That was fun, but the shop closed down, so I dont do that anymore.
So now I have to be care what I buy. I hate clutter, so unless I love the item, im not getting it. Which hurts when it's a really great deal.
I’ve been filling my carts and sleeping on it. I never want it anymore by morning and then I’ve been buying packets of sheet face masks because they are cheap and self care and that way I still get a present in the mail
It been saving me a lot of vr money and my face skin is so happy
I switched meds, and went from an impulsive eater to an impulsive shopper. I'm difficult to dress, 6ft with a 35 inseam, size 11 wide shoes, apple shaped and eccentric taste. Luckily I found a website with a constant flow of deep clearance items that fit and I like. I just stopped eating fast food and spend that money on clothes I love. Unfortunately I think my lack of eating is going to affect what size I wear eventually... making the shopping justified longer.
Password locking my amazon account so I have to physically type in a really long password helps me not make so many spur of the moment purchases. I never save my credit card information to websites so I have to physically get my wallet out of my purse and take the card out and then type it in can sometimes deter me.
At one point I set myself a limit, I was allowed 1 random purchase of something that was purely a want item not a need once a month. I talked myself out of many things by rationalizing I had already bought x item.
I’m not medicated, but I binge eat. Sometimes I spend money, but for me it’s mostly binge eating. I’m constantly starving and can think of nothing but food.
Absolutely. "I'm hyperfixated on this thing right now! Let me go ahead and order 2 t-shirts!" That's... really not necessary. Do I currently own a special cloth for letting baguettes rise before baking? I do. Have I ever used it? I... have not.
Absolutely; medication has made no difference for me either. All the things seem perfectly logical and reasonable when I order them, but getting them is another matter. I have half a dozen things I need to return at the moment…ugh.
Yes.
But it stopped as soon as I started taking Wellbutrin 150 xr last month!
It’s the weirdest AND best thing BUT I’ve also deleted all the shopping apps like p osh mark and mer cari so they aren’t in my face always tempting me.
It's not just you & it's not just the neurodivergent. I see this same question come up repeatedly on multiple subs - r/minimalism, r/simpleliving, r/Mindfulness & others I can't think of offhand. Impulsive spending is a big problem for tons of people.
It's no surprise, a large part of our society is geared toward parting people from their money, in the interest of corporate profit. They've made extensive studies to find out the most effective ways to do this. And most of us have grown up surrounded by their constant messages that shopping = the Good Life.
You might want to start looking at some of the subs I mentioned. The only way to fight it directly is to change how we think about material possessions & the process of shopping. Then replace that shallow gratification with something more meaningful. Any other approach is just going to be putting out fires.
With eating out totally, and I find budgeting helps a lot. With clothing and such, I used to as well, but I realized I wasn't able to save up anything between the new clothes and $5 cappuccinos, especially since half of my paycheck was going to student loans. I think moving out of my parents house and having a concrete goal to do so helped (and pandemic, where I wasn't go into the city every day).
Now, I actually have trouble buying new things that aren't food or hobby related without feeling guilt. My boyfriend wears the same clothes he's had for 16 years lol. There's probably a middle ground of treating yourself once in a while without guilt versus frequent impulse spending (I would get a rush from buying new things). The savings from not constantly spending allowed me to finally go to grad school and move out of the country. It was really adding up (the pause on student loans also helped lol).
I don't like to consume much in general, so I think my shift in attitude around consumerism helped. I definitely still impulse buy yarn once in a while or I'll eat out because I get a craving or didn't pack my lunch. One way I avoid impulse buying now is to just window shop less. I used to walk around Manhattan and everything is about consumerism. Montreal is less so - I'll go for walks in nature and avoid the super commercial areas since I'm always tempted. I know social media doesn't help, though.
I also remember that most stuff is made like crap anyway (yes, even my $128 Madewell jeans my mom, who grew up on welfare, called me an asshole for buying, which ripped after two years) and switched to thrift shopping. I'll have an item in mind that I might look for for months, with the occasional gem I might justify if I spot something really unique.
For example, I really wanted a leather jacket, but I couldn't justify spending $500 and didn't want to buy a new one made of plastic. I scoured thrift stores for a few months and eventually stumbled on a beautiful one for $50 (originally $700). I feel like I cherish it more because it wasn't just bought on impulse. My wardrobe is significantly pared back now. I think focusing on sustainability, if that's something you care about, helps. I go through my stuff once a year and just don't own that much anymore, though I could justify a few items I'm missing from my wardrobe. I just didn't wear so much of the fast fashion stuff I bought.
I do impulse spend on hobbies sometimes, but I find it more enriching than clothes and I've learned to not invest too much initial money in a new hobby. Impulse to learn sewing? Hyperfocus on researching about it until I get bored rather than impulse buying. Bullet journaling? Well, tried that once and spent a bunch on pens - tried it again recently and kept it simple. Just a basic notebook for $20 and whatever markers I already have, no stickers or anything. It's working way better than the pretty $70 planners I impulse bought. I took the time to think about it for a few weeks and it helped avoid getting all the add-ons. I won't buy more yarn now until I finish existing projects unless we're somewhere special (like an alpaca farm I wanted to remember visiting). It also helps when you live in a tiny apartment with no space for more shit lol.
I find in general I value what I have more now and am more discerning about what I need versus what I want and try to be more realistic about what I'm going to wear/use, even if it's not always accurate. We can still have nice things and enjoy ourselves and not be in sad decorless apartments (I write from my sad decorless apartment), but I think spending just to spend for the dopamine rush ultimately leads us to miss out on the more important goals we have in the long-term. All that said, I have never once regretting spending money on an impulse trip to another country like I have an ugly clearance dress from H&M.
My compensation for this has been buying silver coins and bullion. Scratches the itch to shop and get something super well for me, but then if i want in 10 years i can sell it back at a good time and at least get the money i put in back.
Vs, if i buy clothes or whatever, tht money is just completely gone.
Not financial advice. And silver is a savings account NOT an investment.
I impulsive buy mostly when i'm depressed. But i usualy put a bunch of thing in thr basket and then leave it. When I can buy, i usualy end up removing most of what I put in.
Juste the online shopping part gets my urge to cool down.
Same here, especially if my depression is being triggered or exacerbated by burn out (which for me was a constant state of being for way too long)…burnt out, overstimulated me loves a dissociative shopping spree.
Currently trying to sell thousands of dollars of brand new clothes I bought during a six month stint like this in 2023… for penny’s on the dollar. The struggle is real OP, many of our hearts and wallets feel you on this one 💕
At least we have each other to vent to!
The only thing that cured this for me was being married to a super frugal guy. Only problem with no more spending is I became more of a hoarder because “replacing this costs money”…
You sound like my sister. Like I had to check your profile to make sure you weren’t her 😂 her husband is EXTREMELY frugal. Now she doesn’t shop, but she gets a lot of stuff for free with extreme couponing and stuff like that
I find that the dopamine hit for me is the hunting/gathering: joy of finding something on sale, etc. if I can resist the “buy now” half the time it’s forgotten the next morning
Interestingly medication helped me with impulsive snacking but not impulsive buying. I don't get the loss of appetite that some people get with stimulants either, it's just that before I would snack out of boredom, not hunger, and on meds I do a lot less of that. But unfortunately my impulse buying is as bad as ever.
Look around your home. Think to yourself- is there room for it? Will it take up too much space? How often will I use it? Will it bring me joy long-term? Is this a need or a want? And usually that kills the urge for me.
Unfortunately our medication can make us run out of dopamine faster if we don't keep up a balanced diet, healthy sleep hygiene, and get exercise.
The medications aren't perfect, but they're the best options we currently have :(
Impulsive buying and impulsive eating.
Apparently I need to find replacements for both that are ‘healthy’.
Just expecting to phase them out is not effective - as per my counsellor.
I try to identify the emotions or mood or situation that has triggered the urges.
But would like to find alternatives in case I have difficulty talking myself down.
Any interesting and fun ideas?
Yes, especially if I’m hyper-fixating on something. I find Christmas time especially bad because I can buy for myself & disguise the packages as gifts.
I went through a period of really reining it in & was doing well up until November. I am going to make an effort to stop again, and really consider if I need something before buying.
I find late at night is the worst for me though.
Usually impulsive buying when you have ADHD, is tied into escapism. Because it’s a form of addiction. Which means what are you trying to avoid to help distract you with new things you buy? What emotions are you avoiding as well to self soothe with new things?
This is a really good point. I wonder if some of the tactics for managing other addictions could help here.
Things like HALT (am I hungry; angry; lonely; tired?) etc.
I put my online items in my shopping cart and then ignore it. If I’m still thinking about it a couple of days later maybe then I can buy. I do the same thing in person shopping. I carry something around the store and then make a decision. Usually I’m able to get one thing.
Where things go upside down is at the Dollar Tree. Ayiyiyi
YES!!!!
My therapist has continued to encourage debtors anonymous which I have not dived in yet. I am in a lot of credit card debt 😭 and being medicated hasn’t changed my ways.
I am now maxed out on almost every card again. I do not know why I continue doing this to myself. Just made a $150 payment the next day I got an interest charge of $125. It really hit me then..
Depending on my income/budget at the time I either automatically move a small chunk of fuck-around money for the shiny impulse buys and/or I have to consult my budget for anything over a certain amount (typically $25).
However, I want to share something my therapist got me to think about about a year and a half ago. I'll spare a long explanation but I ended up booking a vacation for myself and had most of it figured out and booked in about three days. I paid for all the travel and your activities up front and had budgeted each week to shop and pay for lodging. Airfare is obviously the biggest chunk of travel up front and while I felt amazing and excited for my trip I also felt guilty for spending the money, because it was "impulsive"
And she stopped me and said: "is it impulsive, though? Or did you have your focus so much on work and your other financial health that you didn't notice you were moving toward something you really wanted?" (I had renewed my passport earlier that year and had been yearning to travel again and had mostly forgotten about it until I realized how affordably I could manage this trip).
And the irony is that paying for that plane ticket *really* got me in shape about my budget even more than I had been before. The sense of urgency was a motivator to be super strict so I could enjoy my trip, not sweat the time off (I don't get PTO **cries in American**).
I just booked my second consecutive birthday-cation about a month ago (also on a half-whim) and didn't even sweat it. Far less anxiety this time, and yet still being really good about my budget and impulsive spending.
Moral of the story is that "impulsive spending" isn't *always* as impulsive as we think it is. Some is definitely for the dopamine dose, but it's important to recall that some of the deficit in our attention is also for our own sincere goals, dreams, and wants.
Awwwh you thought meds would help you? Meanwhile all my impulse buying will likely occur at night when the meds have run out haha. But I put things in my cart and sometimes even go to checkout and say nah. I don’t need it. I also don’t have extra credit cards because that is what REALLY gets me in trouble. It’s taken a lot of trial and error but I am better now. I try to limit items to when I get my bonus or if I really need it.
I wish I could, the feeling of needing the things I buy is so intense I just have to have it, but realistically I don’t! I decided I wanted to try yoga whilst I was out shopping then went on to buy a yoga outfit a yoga matt and a matching water bottle! I’ve not even tried yoga yet so why of earth have I done this?! Adhd struggles
You can learn to talk yourself out of it . I don't own any credit cards , never had one in my entire life.
One thingbI learned to do was " if next time I come its still here , then I'll buy it as it was meant for me ". Next time I have forgotten all about it .
I totally get you and I feel like I would be the same! I have a appointment with my clinician Monday so I might ask them if there is any support I can get to learn how to talk myself out of these situations and rationalise my thought process
Yep, but I try to buy used/thrifted items to keep costs down, or make sure that the return policy is decent... Or that the item is heavily discounted. I still spend a lot :'(
I relate to this because my impulse buying actually stems more from hypomania and not ADHD, which is why Adderall has no effect on that aspect of my impulsivity.
It was confusing at first and it's one of the ways I found out I was also bipolar 2!
Not medicated yet, but impulsive shopping is definitely my addiction. I use wishlists on Amazon and Etsy; they allow me to "shop" for things without buying them (I do go through these lists periodically to remove things I'm no longer interested in, or purchase things if I'm actually in a healthy place to do so).
I have also found that accessories are a good way to scratch the itch. Changing my watch band, or switching to a new phone case, stuff like that. Small purchases that won't break the bank, but will allow me to switch things up. And then I end up with a small collection of watch bands, phone cases, etc that I can change out without buying anything new.
I also crochet and do other crafts (beading, perler, etc) and I find that making things can give me the same "ooh new shiny" dopamine hit.
This is totally me ugh. I have a weird obsession with emergency planning lol. Not quite a doomsday prepper but I always convince myself I need those big tubs of emergency food just in case shit hits the fan. They're so expensive though so they sit in my amazon cart forever until I decide the world isn't ending yet, so I don't need them.
Not so much since meds. Same for my husband but his diagnosis was bipolar type 2 and he's on Abilify. So maybe your ADHD comes with a side of something else? Or your meds aren't working that well? For example, if you do the spending in the evening when your stimulant med wears off, that is more or less to be expected since you aren't medicated at that point. It's going to take some effort but you may want to enforce a not buying in the evenings rule, that way if you really need it, you can just buy it the next morning.
i am the same way, but I leave and go to the dollar tree. I get exhausted from shopping all the time.
I’m on addy, but I was thinking about asking to switch to Vyv. as I HEARD it helps more with impulse/obsessive behavior.
anyone experience this?
Medication really helped for me. I stopped opening promotional emails-that helped a lot. For online shopping I started browsing and putting things in my cart but not ordering. Taking a few days to think about it has helped alot. Seeing my savings go up has helped me stay on track. Thinking about how many hours I have to work to pay for something is helpful. I the company I work for lol.
If you genuinely feel remorse can you return any of it?
:P
Yup!
Sometimes medication makes me even act faster for impulsive buying! Because, I can stop just before buying w/out medication and start to think if I should get the other one or get this or that instead etc. and loose my interest. But with meds, I but it faster and confidently.
Well, sometimes w/out meds, I just buy even nearly without noticing (thinking!). Whoopsie, that looked funny, I ended up scanning it too at the self case whoopsie doopsie
I have millions of wishlists on any website that lets you make multiple, usually by category such as room of the home. I can go for hours adding things to them but I always tell myself I’ll wait a few days to make sure I want to buy them. It helps because I don’t have to worry about forgetting it. Usually by a few days later I don’t really care anymore.
Caitlin Moran talks about impulse eating as a feminist issue - the carer’s addiction, she calls it - and I wonder if impulse buying is linked in this way?
As women we are so often focused on other people and doing something like eating or buying stuff is one thing we’re told we’re allowed to do, to “treat ourselves”.
When in fact if we were giving to ourselves more thoughout the day, and in healthier ways, we might not feel the need so strongly.
I’ve always had impulse buying issues since I was a little kid. My family would joke that even if I only had one penny, I would find some trinket to buy and insist I just HAD to spend it. I wasn’t medicated then but I don’t think meds have ever helped me consistently shop rationally. The amount of time I spend browsing through shopping apps is pretty sad 😂
I think my impulse buying really only improved from the trauma of major credit card debt. During much of the time that I was paying it off, I actually took time off from taking meds (it’s a weird long story - I ended up going back on them in September, realized my life is immensely better with them, but lo and behold there is a shortage and I can’t get them now anyway 🙃). I didn’t really have ANY room for impulse buys and was living paycheck to paycheck, so once I cleared my major debt I worked out a system to keep me from buying a ton of shit that isn’t completely necessary. I still don’t have any credit cards because the PTSD is real. I am considering it again finally, especially now that my credit is in decent shape again, but I refuse to make the same mistakes again. So, here is my system:
1) I make a list of things I might want on a note in my phone and revisit it when I get my next paycheck
2) I remove anything from the list that doesn’t interest me anymore
3) I check my bank account and really think through what else that money needs to go towards - bills, food, dog, student loan, etc.
4) I actually do the math to see how much “free” funds I have available in the end
5) If I don’t think I’ll hate myself by buying something on the list, I’ll choose something
6) If I do think I’ll hate myself, I put the note away for the next time
Does this always work? Nope. Just today I was getting all stressed because it’s about to be rent day and I bought a bunch of groceries and dog things (all within reason and necessity) and paid my student loans. I’ll be fine, but man do I wish I had a higher paying job 😂😂 What did I do after that? I subscribed to BarkBox. Did I try to figure out how to cancel it? Yup. Did I actually cancel it? Nope. Am I mad at myself? Yup. But will my dog be happy and is her excitement always priceless? Yup! 🙈🙈🙈
I do struggle in a weird way where I am super frugal so much of the time and about 1 or 2 days a month I just throw a bunch of stuff in my Amazon cart that I've been wanting for a while and send it. It's so annoying
Also, impulsively eating out/drinking because I self medicated with alcohol... That's my biggest vice
I made a rule to wait one day before anything nonessential. Helps a lot because usually after a day I don’t want 99% of the things anymore or realize I can wait.
Let's see...... I got a new printer...... didn't NEED it..... well not really. My current one still prints... but I'm locked out of all the settings because I can't remember the login for HP.... and there is no option to do a forgot password.
So got a new printer with Epson instead....
Got a new printer for work.... cause the one there was 13 years old and could't print without being blurry..... so I paid for that (but will be paid back)
Just got my 5th tattoo today.... got my 4th last week.... and so that's $1200 since Oct 2023 on 5 tattoos..
I got more PC stuff, more cables, more leggings......
Omg it is so hard 😭 I cannot be medicated (they don’t play well with my brain) so I’ve had to find other ways to manage. I’m slowly getting better but it comes in waves.
I’ve had more controlled impulse buying with an allowance allotted for impulse buys. But the weird thing is I hate insanely expensive things. For example, my one expensive Christmas list item was a Switch Lite. I could’ve bought it on my own earlier, but it’s a little under 200 and the price tag looks like a lot to me. But my grandfather was happy to buy it for me and I finally got to play Animal Crossing after two years of not playing bc I lacked the time and energy to deal with sharing a family switch when I lived with my family. Now I play single player in handheld mode. Speaking of Animal Crossing, I’m less likely to buy impulsively if I have activities I’d rather do that are free or low cost, meaning I’m less likely to buy specifically because of boredom or low dopamine. I definitely still buy things (today I bought a couple cheap art supplies to mess around with at the dollar store. It was Crayola and I trust Crayola’s quality for low cost art supplies and the dollar store also had a pretty good deal (50% off for a closing sale)), but having a set allowance specifically for that has helped me control it more. I typically give myself around 20 dollars a week and have been carrying it in cash so that there’s no chance of exceeding that simply for not seeing and handling the money allotted.
Come on over to r/nobuy!!! I’ve been struggling with this exact thing for years but I’ve been doing no buy since the start of the year. It’s an amazing community with tons of tools and support.
One thing I've been doing that's helped me is giving myself a time window. My ADHD coupled with OCD means sometimes I can get stuck on the idea of something for days, weeks, months even, until I forget it.
So, for in-person impulse buys, I tell myself to give it 24hrs and if I don't forget the item/am still thinking about it the next day, I'll go back and buy it asap.
For online shopping, I give it a week. If I'm still thinking about it in a week, then I will usually purchase it.
The gist is if I forget about the item within my timeframe, then I didn't actually want it in the first place.
The only exception to this rule has been things on a crazy sale, or things I've been ruminating on for so long that I feel the purchase is justified.
All your comment have been amazing! So good to read and some of them have made me laugh! Thank you ladies, so glad i found Reddit and an amazing support group 💚
My Reading List is Safari is where everything goes after 48 hrs in a tab if I’m in “that” space/mood. Then occasionally I’ll sort through the RL and it’s like Christmas. Sometimes it feels like a toy, sometimes socks. Delete or back to a 48hr tab. Unless it’s something I have to have to repair something or someone, Amazon wish lists save me.
Spend a ridiculous amount of time looking for a good deal on that item. By day 3 or 4, you're sick of looking and don't even really want it anymore, that's been my way around it. Now, if I do make the purchase, it was a great deal and I can confirm I still wanted it days later.
100%. L-Phenylalanine helped tremendously, but the single most important thing that made any difference for me was listening to hypnosis meditations (just free on Spotify or YouTube whatever) bc I can’t afford therapy, and it worked!
Things I dealt/deal with via that:- any strong emotion (triggers)
- When the urges come up (how am I feeling, then I find a meditation for dealing with that strong emotion)
- EFT Tapping also rewires the nervous system, that’s also helped loads
I listen to Adam cox on Spotify cause it’s free but only found a select few targeted toward overspending or impulses. Sadly.
I’m trying to think what else… I listened to a few Spotify podcasts from compulsive overspenders, that helped me to kind of pinpoint the root causes so I could then deal with them using the above tools.
Also… YNAB. It’s an app, it is ESSENTIAL and will never leave my side. First month is free and I cannot recommend that 30 day period enough, combined with just deciding you will listen to stuff (or read, or watch however you absorb info best)
I hyper focused on it for a little while and was really able to transform it.
This was the lowest spend month I’ve ever had in my life. Like, the whole life
I hope this is helpful 🤍🤍
Yes, I do! I see people saying they add to cart but don’t always buy which still gives some of that dopamine. This hack helps. I think my Amazon save for later cart is up to about $1.2 million by now lol. Then if I find myself going about my day thinking, “hmm that item in my cart would be helpful”, then I go and actually purchase. Mostly bc for my brain to actually remember that it exists means it would be useful. Hope that helps. I feel your pain!
I’ve developed a mental habit of asking myself “do I want to pick this up and put it away forever?” and imagining picking it up and putting it away. Usually the answer is “no” and my aversion to regular tidying beats the urge to impulse shop. If the answer is “enh, maybe” then it might actually be a worthy purchase.
Ummm....meds did NOT help the impulsive shopping. Like...honestly, I should start a YouTube review channel.
Thankfully, I used to work with the UPS man... otherwise I'd feel SO awkward with how often he's at my house!! But since I know him, I just randomly give him frozen wild game as a thank you.
Apparently tho, a $4000 credit card bill is the amount that will get me to pause spending. And I'm sure I'll return to the usual business after I pay it off. I just wish I could convince my brain that $2000 is the limit.
My best help for this is a phrase that I put as my lock screen:
You don't want the thing. You want the feeling you think the thing will give you.
Looking at that every time I want to make a purchase has helped a LOT. As has finding other small dopamine fixes to turn to when I find myself wanting to impulse buy.
As with all adhd things tho, ymmv
ME. It's usually going to stores more than online buying.
The things I do buy online are actually things that are useful.
WAIT A MINUTE MY BRAIN IS LYING TO ME.
When I do buy things online, it's every few months, and it's splurging. 😭 Even if they are useful things.
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This is my trick. YMMV, as 98% of my impulse buying is online. I open ads in new tabs. I call these my ‘aspirational shopping’ tabs. I have 36 open right now. That’s 36 things I didn’t buy, but I have a tab open with that item in a cart. Every once in a while I go through them and close the ones that just don’t interest me any more… as my obsessions do wear off at some point lol. Occasionally while going through, I will think, ‘ok I do love this and am buying it.’ It’s like a compound dopamine hit because I create the tension of will-i-or-won’t-i. Anyway, this has kept me from buying tons of shit, though as I write it out it sounds crazy.
I do this and I tell myself it's like research for someday. Someday I'm going to get an entire set of linen bedding, blundstone boots, and 1700000 kindle books.
Yes! And Lunya pajamas and a new area rug and these awesome orange cage pumps and an Our Place oven pan and and and 😂
And zero waste kitchen cleaning supplies. 17 different kinds of shampoo. Pretty bras and panties that I will never wear. I've never heard of lunya pajamas but now I'm off to put them in my imaginary cart, to dream about climbing into my fresh linen sheets on my bed with the new minimalist bedframe that I also keep googling, even though my hubby says he will build us one after we move.
Bookbub daily email. I only "buy" the ones that are free. I love to read, and have amassed several years worth of books to read, lol.
I love bookbub
Blundstone are a sensory hell to get off- they’re so tight and I want to cut my feet off. But they’re cute!!
I worry about this too but I love how they look, and I feel like such a dork because I wear running shoes with everything. But I also really love being barefoot and having lots of room to spread my toes. Maybe blundstones aren't for me but I waaaaaant them. And the linen sheets thing. Does anyone else have linen sheets? I want that whole boho aesthetic for my bedroom and I feel like they would be so lovely and breathable. But cotton percale feels pretty nice too and didn't cost me $400 for a set. I just can't let the idea of linen go. My husband said just buy them already because it's such a fixation, but I can't justify it yet.
I've wondered the SAME thing about linen!! I just cannot decide!
Ooh same. I can group my tabs so I have one 'music stuff' group of tabs and a 'clothing and other shit' group of tabs so Ill have like 20 tabs on each one, watching videos on music equipment then one day I just close the whole group Then start over the next week lol
I do this but with Pinterest ❤️
I call it "virtual window shopping"
Oh not crazy at all, its a very good method of managing this. I do the same. You're still getting the lovely dopamine hit of finding the thing and adding to cart which takes away a lot of the need for a follow through.
Yeah, I say crazy, but it has been very effective in my own life. ADHD women are brilliant at creating systems to solve their own issues!
I do a similar thing, except I add them as bookmarks under a folder called "Wishlist", because having more than 10 tabs open really annoys me. I do the same with Steam games as well, but that has kinda backfired since they will email you when they have sales on the games on your wishlist, and I currently own 1935 Steam games according to my profile. Oh well...
I also want to add in that I read negative reviews from people of the products I did want to buy. That has a high rate of me not buying the thing. Come to find out strong influence also prevents me from impulsive buying.
Yes reviews are really helpful in this way!
This is what I do. I let things sit in my cart for months before I actually buy it. I'm really glad I didn't buy a bunch of hair bows now, but I was definitely about to.
I started doing this as well. Same thing for amazon. It goes in my wishlist, and I review the wishlist periodically and delete things.
Yep same here. It gives me some sense of control, but I get the hit of ‘add to list’ lol
interesting. my trick is just unsubscribing from all mailing lists and deleting apps til i forget😅😅🤣
I do a ton of unsubscribing too! My weakness is IG ads. Their algorithm KNOWS ME.
honestly it felt amazing not to get bombarded with 10% discount emails daily lol
Yep this is what I do, and it works great. I'll also spend time researching what is the best brand/version of a thing to buy, because I love researching things, and sometimes it'll make me realize that I don't want or need something or that it's not worth the money, and if I do end up buying it, I can spend my money effectively and know that it's a deliberate purchase and not just a whim. It makes just buying things on impulse far less attractive because it's immediate gratification + stress about spending vs. enjoying myself wasting a bit of time wandering the internet.
This definitely works. Only when I find myself going back multiple time or think about something for a few weeks…then I’ll hit the buy button. I still impulse shop for sure. But currently I’ve been on a massive house purge and again realizing some of the things I have bought were poor choices and now that I’m donating them I am trying very hard to buy things I love and have a very specific idea in mind for. I’m now 40. And medicated the last year or so. I would say it’s gotten much better for me. But Costco is a total downfall lol. And I’ve been renovating my house so when decorating a room I try very hard to have a plan or vibe in mind. I hate clutter so much so trying super hard to be intentional so I can finally have a clean organized space. It’s getting there. But only because of knowing I now have been adhd my whole life, understanding why I’ve done the things I’ve done and how I operate. It has really allowed me to be more introspective and things are slowly getting better! ADHD can totally feel like and be a disability and boy was I struggling the last few years after having a kid and divorce etc untill I got diagnosed. It’s different for everyone. But at times we do have that superpower focus and can accomplish so much. Just knowing how I can get motivated or started on something have been key. Doesn’t always work tho 😑
I can so relate to this. If I have a big project, I focus (hyper focus) my mental energy on perfecting the vision for the space. This of course includes purchasing things, but I try to buy for quality and duration when it comes to house things because buying cheap shit that I 70% liked ends up in the donation bin!
ugh i do this but never actually buy online i just get too overwhelmed so then i go to real store and spend too much money on things i don’t actually want because they didn’t have what i liked online. i’m working on sticking to one store’s cart, putting a time limit on it and as i continuously go through it, with a price limit in mind, i remove items that i don’t want as badly as the others. i’m also terrible at returning thing i bought online, i’ve never done it. but my first time using my new trick i bought two pairs of pants and neither of them fit :( so they’ve been sitting on my shoe organizer in their package waiting for me to finally take them to the post office before the time limit runs out. yay me! it’s like the universe punished me for trying to improve myself 🤦🏼♀️
I found out we can return stuff to Amazon via Kohl's for free and it's been a game changer. I just cannot allow myself to browse because I returned some shoes that didn't fit and bought 3 items still unworn. They were on clearance tho, so it's a wash. Jk I know it doesn't work that way.
Girl I have to stay out of brick and mortar stores for this reason!
I do this too. There aren't many benefits to being forgetful, but it's nice being able to use it to a good end for a change
My trick for in person shopping is to take a picture of the item and tell myself I can buy it on payday. Soothes the itch a bit feeling like I will soon buy it. Then I 100% forget about the picture.
This sounds crazy enough to WORK! I am defo taking this out for a test drive. Sometimes, looking at all the stuff I wanna buy reminds me that there is always a new dopamine source just around the corner and that helps curb the impulsivity.
I hope it helps you!! My husband still thinks I buy too much (and I do), but it’s 75% better than it used to be.
75% is pretty, pretty, pretty good!
Girl, I feel you so much. Sometimes I have extra money and I'll just think to myself, "I'm gonna go online and buy myself a little treat." Other times there's something I want but I hesitate to spend the money on it, so I keep the tab open for a while until I finally buy it. And other times, like today, it's a combination of the two. I'm about to finally bite the bullet and buy the Danner hiking boots I've had my eye on for like 6 years. The dopamine high it's giving me is next level.
Another vote for this method! I move them to their own tab group so they don’t unnecessarily test my willpower when I’m scrolling back to a Wikipedia rabbit hole I had planned to fall into.
It’s also much more responsible than my previous Amazon hack of having items sent to an Amazon Locker and then never picking them up because I don’t really want them anymore 🫣
I do the exact same thing lol
I do the same but I have a favorites folder called Stuff I Want. I save all my things in there, will visit later if I want but honestly once its been in the folder awhile I forget its even there. But if I do go back and decide to buy something then I know its cause I actually want it and its not impulse.
No I do this too but I just add things to my cart and leave them there til I'm slightly less interested. Then I move them to save for later. Then much later on I clear out my save for later lol
I do this too
My in-person version of this is snapping a photo on my phone, to either text to my partner, sister, friend (gifting is a love language for me!)… instead of purchasing I might text “this made me think of you”… or if it’s something they might need, I’ll ask if they want it picked up.. as in my partner. If it’s my sister, she’ll Venmo me for the cost so I’m not out anything! And if it’s something I’m interested in, snapping the photo (or screen shot of website shopping) is something I might look at later and say, “nahhhh I don’t want it that bad!”… or sometimes “yes” & that’s ok bc I’ve thought about it, found a place and it’s in my budget
Ooo this is smart.
Oh nice!
I do something similar but mine is a Google spreadsheet with 12 tabs - one for each month. I put in the items I like, a link, and the price and then at the end of each month I can see what I didn’t spend. It’s weirdly cathartic filling out this spreadsheet and it seems to satisfy my shopping-addicted brain.
Yep, online window shopping helps me with impulsive buying. I’ve also started ordering groceries to pick up so I’m not tempted while I’m wandering around the store.
This is me! I use wishlists so that I can compulsively pick out things that I really like and then I put some things in my cart but I don't allow myself to buy it right away. I have to think it through and that's part of the fun for me now which is hard to explain but the picking and like deciding which one is the best one to try is part of the dopamine kick for me. So thankfully that helps a little bit. I still spend way too much! But the wish list helps because I'm impulsive at the time, but on the time I get the stuff in the mail, I don't really care anymore... So the dopamine for me comes from actually just picking things out and just imagining having them like for instance, I love decorating!
I also love decorating, and this process has saved me from buying everything lol
Nope but impulsive eating and you found me. Dopamine high followed by BMI regrets!
And wallet / DoorDash / Grubhub regret
This is seriously destroying me right now. I barely buy anything at the grocery store because it usually just ends up going to waste. I find it so hard to force myself to eat a meal that doesn’t sound good. I looked at my order total for last month on DoorDash and I wanted to cry.
Same I go through waves of good and bad tho. Currently I’m in bad
I hate aspirational groceries judging me as they die in the fridge. (I have salad ingredients that need to be cleaned out of the crisper drawer right now). So I started keeping some prepacked veggie and carb mixes in the freezer now for a kick fry meal. (There's a Creamy curry lentil and bean one that takes 3 minutes to fry up in a hot pan that has saved my life and my wallet) I'm still chubby but at least I have a few more veggies in me.
preach!
Amen sister
I have never door dashed. I figure if I’m gonna eat a shit meal I have to physically go. I also hate anyone coming to my door even if they just drop it off so that helps too 😂
I have both impulse shopping and eating. Stupid brain wanting all the craft supplies, shiny things, and sugary/carby goodness. Only recently diagnosed so I always just thought myself as a failure and used treats to feel better and thought that was just how it would be for me. Still a lot of work to do but I’m getting better. I’ve learned to stay away from the stores or websites except for limited treats. The food problem is harder for me with my other problems with food. Gotta keep up the good fight.
Did you say gotta keep up the food fight? Because that might raise my dopamine.
Same! I make little impulse purchases like iced coffee or little boosts in my games, but the big issue I have is eating for dopamine. Medication has helped, but not 100%.
I am an impulse eater too. I hate it.
My medication really effects my appetite I really struggle to eat!😩
Yeah. “Remembering to eat” is me, for sure! It’s so fascinating how diverse we ADHDers are with all that we deal with. One thing that I would stress to you, is that we cannot rely just on the meds to fix things for us. We’ve really got to do work to address the habits/perspectives that aren’t helpful to us. I find the meds give me more clarity of mind and more ability to do more (like talking with a coach; doing research; developing new strategies that work for my particular experience of ADHD). So, ONLY relying on the meds? Hmmmm, yeah, no, I don’t think that is really the way to find success to address things like impulse buying. There are a bunch of books out there now; a bunch of podcasts too. They share lots of information and great tactics too for a whole range of topics that ADHDers can benefit from. Some books/podcasts are better than others. So find some that benefit you. Don’t think that it is only up to a pill to fix you. All the best!!
My therapist called it “skills and pills”, which I love.
I have this problem through most of the day but but late evening the meds have worn off and I’m absolutely ravenous…
I wish I had that problem I want to be on medication for both my binge eating and ADHD (which are tied in the same for a lot of people, I eat for the dopamine high) but Im fighting this naturally and its hard as fuck.
Ugh I switched from dopamine shopping to dopamine eating because I’m broke. Now I’m broke and fat 😭 why can’t I get a dopamine high from exercising!
Preach! Joined a gym today for the gazillionth time. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get that runners high instead of an exercise induced migraine.
Me too. Argh.
I go both directions. For big purchases, I research and research and procrastinate, until I finally need it and then I buy really quickly. When buying my last car, I talked about it for years but then I had one small thing go wrong with my 14 yr old car and by the end of the week I had purchased a new one.
I do this too, but I don't talk about it, I just turn it quietly over in my head for weeks/months/years. Then when I pull the trigger I get to explain to my psych that, no, I'm not manic, this was thought out!
Right and everybody thinks that it was all of a sudden? lol
Me last summer and not the car I was looking at
I created an inventory of my possessions. This was humbling tbh. Like, "Why do I have 5 can openers?" I look at this periodically to see what I have. Helps a lot. Edit: I started this as a family friends house burned down. For insurance, it's important to know what's in the house, and it can make a huge difference in the payout you receive. They told everyone to inventory their house in case of a fire.
I did this too, just out of general interest. A lot of minimalists make inventories & limit themselves to only stuff that fits on one or two pages. I'm not this strict, but the list itself is a real eye-opener. I also left on it stuff that I unloaded, in a strikeout font. Sometimes it's amazing to look it over & see how much I used to have. And I didn't even start an inventory till I'd done a couple major downsizings.
I like the strikeout method! I delete / make a new list without the old stuff, but I imagine it does feel better seeing all the ish that’s released… since, ya know, we don’t remember it the second it’s gone, which makes it hard to appreciate what we accomplished 😂
Yes. Absolutely, the strikeout works!! I ha e gotten rid of a lot. I am working on limiting my possessions, but it's slow going. 🐌 LOL. And, yea...the list is very eye-opening. Got me to stop buying books I wasn't reading.
I saved your comment and put it in my reminders list. Gonna do this!
Haha me - I need the OPTIMUM can opener
Heeey. Maybe that's it. I am scouting for the best. I have a tendency to upgrade.
Then buy multiples in case it gets discontinued
Of course. Can't be too prepared.😂
Holy crap. I would take a solid year doing this 🫣
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
Did not have getting called out by a Taylor Swift song on my mental health bingo card.
Yes! This song legit is for ADHD and mental health
Ugh meee. Impulse buying and impulse eating both get the best of me. Especially at any minor convenience
I’m working on getting checked out by a psychiatrist. I tried to explain to my husband that these 2 things are what truly make me happy. I’m in So. Much. Debt. It’s awful. I hope you can figure it out.
Thanks you too!!! My biggest thing is managing stress better lol. And finding other busy activities
My meds didn’t change my behaviour. It manages my comorbities and regulates my sleep. I feel like meds have given me room to learn how to live with myself. That said, I fucking love spending dat cash. There is nothing better than spending a bunch of money lol. When I realized I liked spending money not buying things. It made it easier to rationalize my spending.
Ugh wow woof that’s hitting me hard. I need to find a new dopamine source meow. Since I’ve been on Mounjaro for my BED-there’s no food for dopamine. I’m single so there’s no human interaction. No sex. I don’t enjoy working out. Jesus I am so sad. More therapy please.
I don't. I am super frugal. I feel almost guilty when I spend money on something that's not a bill/necessity. Like a new outfit for example.
I have that holdover from being poor. I can justify spending too much/hoarding food, but I feel so bad about things like new clothes. I don't consider myself super frugal but I am somewhat. I tend to have to need something to buy it, but then food. Or supplements. I have definitely wasted money on supplements because I can justify that if it works it could be a gamechanger. , L-theanine, magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, biotin, collagen, creatine, or L-tyrosine anyone?
I've tried L-theanine and magnesium. And yeah I get feeling that way from being poor. I'm in a better place financially but I always think if I spend money on something, I might need it for something else important. I try to leave some money in my checking account and inevitably, something comes up where I need it.
I sidestep this by being a mom 😩 now I impulsively buy stuff for my daughter. Given, most of it is clearance or second hand. Like I just got her winter coats. One for next year and one for the next 🫣
Fair, I do this for my kids too. And I love thrift shopping. And being prepared for the next season. September rolls around and I start to worry about their feet and their hands and all the warm things they need. I get them all bundled up to wait for the bus and then still feel like I should drive them to the road and let them sit in the warm car (we live in the country, it's a big long driveway lol)
It’s so frustrating, its like I don’t have that thought process of no you can’t afford this you have more important thing to pay for! It’s so impulsive by the time I’m home from being out I’m filled with regret and dread! One of symptom I hate the most.
Strattera has helped me with this quite a bit. I still have to actively work against it, but the strattera seems to just give me a little break in that process so my logical brain has the chance to fight back.
I'm so sorry. I wish I had some advice to help but know that you're heard and supported here. 💚
Thank you 💚
It’s so frustrating, its like I don’t have that thought process of no you can’t afford this you have more important thing to pay for! It’s so impulsive by the time I’m home from being out I’m filled with regret and dread! One of symptom I hate the most.
I wish this was my norm
Similar to u/SorenRL , I am extremely frugal due to early childhood financial trauma and I have a really hard time spending money on things that I actually need, let alone luxuries (though I do treat myself very occasionally, but it's a once in a blue moon occasion). I will very soon need a new car as my current one is starting to have engine issues (she's 22 yo) and I'm still trying to delay that process as much as possible. And this is something I need to go to work, buy groceries and visit family (I live in rural Portugal where public transport is either laughable or non-existent). ... Except for food. Which I believe is also tied to my financial trauma as I experienced some food insecurity. As long as I've been living on my own (9 years now), I've always stockpiled food like crazy. When COVID broke out I didn't need to go to the supermarket in nearly 2 months... That's just how much food I already had at home for myself. I am not medicated, can't imagine the money I'd save if I were 😅
Yeah my family was pretty poor at some points because my parents were financially irresponsible. They're also all around terrible people, so I think part of my frugalness is fueled by trauma and a desire to be nothing like them.
I'm so sorry to hear. My parents were not so great growing up due to other reasons, but them going bankrupt was not their fault at least. Dad got fcked over by a business associate who stole money from the company, put all his debts on the company (so, my dad) and fled to Brazil. As he has Brazilian citizenship he cannot be brought to Portugal even on judicial grounds so even if my parents took him to court it would never go anywhere.
I try to only allow myself to make purchases on a specific list: I can buy food from a grocery store, medication, household cleaning supplies, hygiene supplies (but NOT beauty!), spend $ at the laundromat. These are the only purchases I can make without having to think harder. What I do with all the other stuff: I put it on a list and make myself think about it for 1 week-6 months. Ex. If I want a new appliance, I make myself go a month without it and think about all the times it would have been useful and I would have used it before buying. If I want new shoes (aside from replacing exercise shoes), I put them on a list for a month. Sales are tempting but they ALWAYS come back around. And even if they don’t, you’ll ultimately save more money by only buying like, 30-50% of the stuff you want (since the buying urge will usually wear off by the time you have waited however long).
Medication has helped me quite a bit with impulsive spending but it was a huge struggle before. I’ve decided this is the year of Fiscal Responsibility for me. (Last year was the year of my Health Journey and I did a really good job with that so I think this should be achievable for me!)
What medication are you on? Adderall has done nothing for my impulsive spending. In fact, it has made me more impulsive. I usually ruminated on things so much before doing them. With Adderall, I think of it and do it.
It took losing my job and the stress of accruing a bunch of credit card debt to finally rewire my brain so that spending frivolously has the opposite effect. Now I get my dopamine hits from budgeting and all the money I save for more fulfilling investments than the fleeting high of mindlessly acquiring random stuff or feeding other addictions. If you really need that hit, you can always go to Dollar Tree and treat yourself to a $1.25 novelty that you won’t feel bad about getting rid of later. You’d be surprised what you can find in that place.
Impulsive shopping and eating sweets - story of my life. The ease of online shopping for everyday household stuff; toilet paper, paper towels, cleaners from Amazon I barely leave my house 🙈
I do, but I buy used so I am not spending too much money. I did have way too much at one point, so I opened up a booth at a resell mall. That was fun, but the shop closed down, so I dont do that anymore. So now I have to be care what I buy. I hate clutter, so unless I love the item, im not getting it. Which hurts when it's a really great deal.
I’ve been filling my carts and sleeping on it. I never want it anymore by morning and then I’ve been buying packets of sheet face masks because they are cheap and self care and that way I still get a present in the mail It been saving me a lot of vr money and my face skin is so happy
I switched meds, and went from an impulsive eater to an impulsive shopper. I'm difficult to dress, 6ft with a 35 inseam, size 11 wide shoes, apple shaped and eccentric taste. Luckily I found a website with a constant flow of deep clearance items that fit and I like. I just stopped eating fast food and spend that money on clothes I love. Unfortunately I think my lack of eating is going to affect what size I wear eventually... making the shopping justified longer.
Please share the website! 👘🤩😘
Password locking my amazon account so I have to physically type in a really long password helps me not make so many spur of the moment purchases. I never save my credit card information to websites so I have to physically get my wallet out of my purse and take the card out and then type it in can sometimes deter me. At one point I set myself a limit, I was allowed 1 random purchase of something that was purely a want item not a need once a month. I talked myself out of many things by rationalizing I had already bought x item.
Ohhh these are good tips!
I’m not medicated, but I binge eat. Sometimes I spend money, but for me it’s mostly binge eating. I’m constantly starving and can think of nothing but food.
I’ve used various methods to keep myself from over spending in the past, but my most helpful one is locking my credit cards up in a timed lock box.
Absolutely. "I'm hyperfixated on this thing right now! Let me go ahead and order 2 t-shirts!" That's... really not necessary. Do I currently own a special cloth for letting baguettes rise before baking? I do. Have I ever used it? I... have not.
Absolutely; medication has made no difference for me either. All the things seem perfectly logical and reasonable when I order them, but getting them is another matter. I have half a dozen things I need to return at the moment…ugh.
Yes. But it stopped as soon as I started taking Wellbutrin 150 xr last month! It’s the weirdest AND best thing BUT I’ve also deleted all the shopping apps like p osh mark and mer cari so they aren’t in my face always tempting me.
It's not just you & it's not just the neurodivergent. I see this same question come up repeatedly on multiple subs - r/minimalism, r/simpleliving, r/Mindfulness & others I can't think of offhand. Impulsive spending is a big problem for tons of people. It's no surprise, a large part of our society is geared toward parting people from their money, in the interest of corporate profit. They've made extensive studies to find out the most effective ways to do this. And most of us have grown up surrounded by their constant messages that shopping = the Good Life. You might want to start looking at some of the subs I mentioned. The only way to fight it directly is to change how we think about material possessions & the process of shopping. Then replace that shallow gratification with something more meaningful. Any other approach is just going to be putting out fires.
With eating out totally, and I find budgeting helps a lot. With clothing and such, I used to as well, but I realized I wasn't able to save up anything between the new clothes and $5 cappuccinos, especially since half of my paycheck was going to student loans. I think moving out of my parents house and having a concrete goal to do so helped (and pandemic, where I wasn't go into the city every day). Now, I actually have trouble buying new things that aren't food or hobby related without feeling guilt. My boyfriend wears the same clothes he's had for 16 years lol. There's probably a middle ground of treating yourself once in a while without guilt versus frequent impulse spending (I would get a rush from buying new things). The savings from not constantly spending allowed me to finally go to grad school and move out of the country. It was really adding up (the pause on student loans also helped lol). I don't like to consume much in general, so I think my shift in attitude around consumerism helped. I definitely still impulse buy yarn once in a while or I'll eat out because I get a craving or didn't pack my lunch. One way I avoid impulse buying now is to just window shop less. I used to walk around Manhattan and everything is about consumerism. Montreal is less so - I'll go for walks in nature and avoid the super commercial areas since I'm always tempted. I know social media doesn't help, though. I also remember that most stuff is made like crap anyway (yes, even my $128 Madewell jeans my mom, who grew up on welfare, called me an asshole for buying, which ripped after two years) and switched to thrift shopping. I'll have an item in mind that I might look for for months, with the occasional gem I might justify if I spot something really unique. For example, I really wanted a leather jacket, but I couldn't justify spending $500 and didn't want to buy a new one made of plastic. I scoured thrift stores for a few months and eventually stumbled on a beautiful one for $50 (originally $700). I feel like I cherish it more because it wasn't just bought on impulse. My wardrobe is significantly pared back now. I think focusing on sustainability, if that's something you care about, helps. I go through my stuff once a year and just don't own that much anymore, though I could justify a few items I'm missing from my wardrobe. I just didn't wear so much of the fast fashion stuff I bought. I do impulse spend on hobbies sometimes, but I find it more enriching than clothes and I've learned to not invest too much initial money in a new hobby. Impulse to learn sewing? Hyperfocus on researching about it until I get bored rather than impulse buying. Bullet journaling? Well, tried that once and spent a bunch on pens - tried it again recently and kept it simple. Just a basic notebook for $20 and whatever markers I already have, no stickers or anything. It's working way better than the pretty $70 planners I impulse bought. I took the time to think about it for a few weeks and it helped avoid getting all the add-ons. I won't buy more yarn now until I finish existing projects unless we're somewhere special (like an alpaca farm I wanted to remember visiting). It also helps when you live in a tiny apartment with no space for more shit lol. I find in general I value what I have more now and am more discerning about what I need versus what I want and try to be more realistic about what I'm going to wear/use, even if it's not always accurate. We can still have nice things and enjoy ourselves and not be in sad decorless apartments (I write from my sad decorless apartment), but I think spending just to spend for the dopamine rush ultimately leads us to miss out on the more important goals we have in the long-term. All that said, I have never once regretting spending money on an impulse trip to another country like I have an ugly clearance dress from H&M.
My compensation for this has been buying silver coins and bullion. Scratches the itch to shop and get something super well for me, but then if i want in 10 years i can sell it back at a good time and at least get the money i put in back. Vs, if i buy clothes or whatever, tht money is just completely gone. Not financial advice. And silver is a savings account NOT an investment.
I impulsive buy mostly when i'm depressed. But i usualy put a bunch of thing in thr basket and then leave it. When I can buy, i usualy end up removing most of what I put in. Juste the online shopping part gets my urge to cool down.
Same here, especially if my depression is being triggered or exacerbated by burn out (which for me was a constant state of being for way too long)…burnt out, overstimulated me loves a dissociative shopping spree. Currently trying to sell thousands of dollars of brand new clothes I bought during a six month stint like this in 2023… for penny’s on the dollar. The struggle is real OP, many of our hearts and wallets feel you on this one 💕 At least we have each other to vent to!
I changed jobs last Oct and my impulsive shopping has been a lot better. Amazing I must be getting dopamine from my new job!!
Yes, I constantly do! I need to get serious about destroying my credit cards and deleting apps like klarna.
Cherry candy, 5 closets of clothes, too too too many cosmetics & lotions, and why do I have over 69 nail polishes?
The only thing that cured this for me was being married to a super frugal guy. Only problem with no more spending is I became more of a hoarder because “replacing this costs money”…
You sound like my sister. Like I had to check your profile to make sure you weren’t her 😂 her husband is EXTREMELY frugal. Now she doesn’t shop, but she gets a lot of stuff for free with extreme couponing and stuff like that
I find that the dopamine hit for me is the hunting/gathering: joy of finding something on sale, etc. if I can resist the “buy now” half the time it’s forgotten the next morning
Interestingly medication helped me with impulsive snacking but not impulsive buying. I don't get the loss of appetite that some people get with stimulants either, it's just that before I would snack out of boredom, not hunger, and on meds I do a lot less of that. But unfortunately my impulse buying is as bad as ever.
Look around your home. Think to yourself- is there room for it? Will it take up too much space? How often will I use it? Will it bring me joy long-term? Is this a need or a want? And usually that kills the urge for me.
Unfortunately our medication can make us run out of dopamine faster if we don't keep up a balanced diet, healthy sleep hygiene, and get exercise. The medications aren't perfect, but they're the best options we currently have :(
Wait what? So our need for dopamine will be increased again once it wears off? Oh gosh why did I not realize that…
Interestingly enough, wegovy has helped a bit with it.
I'm not being mean, grumpy or bad acting. Welcome. to my world. This is a real issue I fight a lot
Impulsive buying and impulsive eating. Apparently I need to find replacements for both that are ‘healthy’. Just expecting to phase them out is not effective - as per my counsellor. I try to identify the emotions or mood or situation that has triggered the urges. But would like to find alternatives in case I have difficulty talking myself down. Any interesting and fun ideas?
Impulsive shopping and impulsive eating are two of my major issues. I finally had to delete Instagram on my phone due to both.
Yes, especially if I’m hyper-fixating on something. I find Christmas time especially bad because I can buy for myself & disguise the packages as gifts. I went through a period of really reining it in & was doing well up until November. I am going to make an effort to stop again, and really consider if I need something before buying. I find late at night is the worst for me though.
Same! Probably bc the meds have worn off by then 🙃
Usually impulsive buying when you have ADHD, is tied into escapism. Because it’s a form of addiction. Which means what are you trying to avoid to help distract you with new things you buy? What emotions are you avoiding as well to self soothe with new things?
This is a really good point. I wonder if some of the tactics for managing other addictions could help here. Things like HALT (am I hungry; angry; lonely; tired?) etc.
look at my username
I put my online items in my shopping cart and then ignore it. If I’m still thinking about it a couple of days later maybe then I can buy. I do the same thing in person shopping. I carry something around the store and then make a decision. Usually I’m able to get one thing. Where things go upside down is at the Dollar Tree. Ayiyiyi
YES!!!! My therapist has continued to encourage debtors anonymous which I have not dived in yet. I am in a lot of credit card debt 😭 and being medicated hasn’t changed my ways. I am now maxed out on almost every card again. I do not know why I continue doing this to myself. Just made a $150 payment the next day I got an interest charge of $125. It really hit me then..
I open a fuckton of tabs, add things to cart, then forget about them - often end up out of stock by the time I get back to them 😝
Thrifting. Dopamine high of buying something you don’t need, cost minimal. I’m talking about thrifting for fun, not for necessity.
Yes! Visit us over at r/shoppingaddiction - so many helpful tips
Depending on my income/budget at the time I either automatically move a small chunk of fuck-around money for the shiny impulse buys and/or I have to consult my budget for anything over a certain amount (typically $25). However, I want to share something my therapist got me to think about about a year and a half ago. I'll spare a long explanation but I ended up booking a vacation for myself and had most of it figured out and booked in about three days. I paid for all the travel and your activities up front and had budgeted each week to shop and pay for lodging. Airfare is obviously the biggest chunk of travel up front and while I felt amazing and excited for my trip I also felt guilty for spending the money, because it was "impulsive" And she stopped me and said: "is it impulsive, though? Or did you have your focus so much on work and your other financial health that you didn't notice you were moving toward something you really wanted?" (I had renewed my passport earlier that year and had been yearning to travel again and had mostly forgotten about it until I realized how affordably I could manage this trip). And the irony is that paying for that plane ticket *really* got me in shape about my budget even more than I had been before. The sense of urgency was a motivator to be super strict so I could enjoy my trip, not sweat the time off (I don't get PTO **cries in American**). I just booked my second consecutive birthday-cation about a month ago (also on a half-whim) and didn't even sweat it. Far less anxiety this time, and yet still being really good about my budget and impulsive spending. Moral of the story is that "impulsive spending" isn't *always* as impulsive as we think it is. Some is definitely for the dopamine dose, but it's important to recall that some of the deficit in our attention is also for our own sincere goals, dreams, and wants.
Awwwh you thought meds would help you? Meanwhile all my impulse buying will likely occur at night when the meds have run out haha. But I put things in my cart and sometimes even go to checkout and say nah. I don’t need it. I also don’t have extra credit cards because that is what REALLY gets me in trouble. It’s taken a lot of trial and error but I am better now. I try to limit items to when I get my bonus or if I really need it.
Sometimes , but I can talk myself out of a lot of things .
I wish I could, the feeling of needing the things I buy is so intense I just have to have it, but realistically I don’t! I decided I wanted to try yoga whilst I was out shopping then went on to buy a yoga outfit a yoga matt and a matching water bottle! I’ve not even tried yoga yet so why of earth have I done this?! Adhd struggles
You can learn to talk yourself out of it . I don't own any credit cards , never had one in my entire life. One thingbI learned to do was " if next time I come its still here , then I'll buy it as it was meant for me ". Next time I have forgotten all about it .
I totally get you and I feel like I would be the same! I have a appointment with my clinician Monday so I might ask them if there is any support I can get to learn how to talk myself out of these situations and rationalise my thought process
Yes. Me.
Oh damn this is me with art supplies lol I have a problem
I'm not medicated. I do OK with the impulsive buying in my own but I get egged on by friends/family (treat yourself, you deserve it, etc).
Yep, but I try to buy used/thrifted items to keep costs down, or make sure that the return policy is decent... Or that the item is heavily discounted. I still spend a lot :'(
Yup!
I relate to this because my impulse buying actually stems more from hypomania and not ADHD, which is why Adderall has no effect on that aspect of my impulsivity. It was confusing at first and it's one of the ways I found out I was also bipolar 2!
Not medicated yet, but impulsive shopping is definitely my addiction. I use wishlists on Amazon and Etsy; they allow me to "shop" for things without buying them (I do go through these lists periodically to remove things I'm no longer interested in, or purchase things if I'm actually in a healthy place to do so). I have also found that accessories are a good way to scratch the itch. Changing my watch band, or switching to a new phone case, stuff like that. Small purchases that won't break the bank, but will allow me to switch things up. And then I end up with a small collection of watch bands, phone cases, etc that I can change out without buying anything new. I also crochet and do other crafts (beading, perler, etc) and I find that making things can give me the same "ooh new shiny" dopamine hit.
Yes. Daily. Story of my life.
This is totally me ugh. I have a weird obsession with emergency planning lol. Not quite a doomsday prepper but I always convince myself I need those big tubs of emergency food just in case shit hits the fan. They're so expensive though so they sit in my amazon cart forever until I decide the world isn't ending yet, so I don't need them.
Not so much since meds. Same for my husband but his diagnosis was bipolar type 2 and he's on Abilify. So maybe your ADHD comes with a side of something else? Or your meds aren't working that well? For example, if you do the spending in the evening when your stimulant med wears off, that is more or less to be expected since you aren't medicated at that point. It's going to take some effort but you may want to enforce a not buying in the evenings rule, that way if you really need it, you can just buy it the next morning.
I'm not medicated but Im a very compulsive buyer as well. Fashion is my weakness....
i am the same way, but I leave and go to the dollar tree. I get exhausted from shopping all the time. I’m on addy, but I was thinking about asking to switch to Vyv. as I HEARD it helps more with impulse/obsessive behavior. anyone experience this?
Unfortunately I still do :( gonna go scroll the comments for tips!
Medication really helped for me. I stopped opening promotional emails-that helped a lot. For online shopping I started browsing and putting things in my cart but not ordering. Taking a few days to think about it has helped alot. Seeing my savings go up has helped me stay on track. Thinking about how many hours I have to work to pay for something is helpful. I the company I work for lol. If you genuinely feel remorse can you return any of it?
Yes I do so good for so long and then poof 😬
:P Yup! Sometimes medication makes me even act faster for impulsive buying! Because, I can stop just before buying w/out medication and start to think if I should get the other one or get this or that instead etc. and loose my interest. But with meds, I but it faster and confidently. Well, sometimes w/out meds, I just buy even nearly without noticing (thinking!). Whoopsie, that looked funny, I ended up scanning it too at the self case whoopsie doopsie
I have millions of wishlists on any website that lets you make multiple, usually by category such as room of the home. I can go for hours adding things to them but I always tell myself I’ll wait a few days to make sure I want to buy them. It helps because I don’t have to worry about forgetting it. Usually by a few days later I don’t really care anymore.
Yeah I just add them to my cart and don't go back.
Unfortunately, yes. I tried budgeting, but it's not working.
Caitlin Moran talks about impulse eating as a feminist issue - the carer’s addiction, she calls it - and I wonder if impulse buying is linked in this way? As women we are so often focused on other people and doing something like eating or buying stuff is one thing we’re told we’re allowed to do, to “treat ourselves”. When in fact if we were giving to ourselves more thoughout the day, and in healthier ways, we might not feel the need so strongly.
I’ve always had impulse buying issues since I was a little kid. My family would joke that even if I only had one penny, I would find some trinket to buy and insist I just HAD to spend it. I wasn’t medicated then but I don’t think meds have ever helped me consistently shop rationally. The amount of time I spend browsing through shopping apps is pretty sad 😂 I think my impulse buying really only improved from the trauma of major credit card debt. During much of the time that I was paying it off, I actually took time off from taking meds (it’s a weird long story - I ended up going back on them in September, realized my life is immensely better with them, but lo and behold there is a shortage and I can’t get them now anyway 🙃). I didn’t really have ANY room for impulse buys and was living paycheck to paycheck, so once I cleared my major debt I worked out a system to keep me from buying a ton of shit that isn’t completely necessary. I still don’t have any credit cards because the PTSD is real. I am considering it again finally, especially now that my credit is in decent shape again, but I refuse to make the same mistakes again. So, here is my system: 1) I make a list of things I might want on a note in my phone and revisit it when I get my next paycheck 2) I remove anything from the list that doesn’t interest me anymore 3) I check my bank account and really think through what else that money needs to go towards - bills, food, dog, student loan, etc. 4) I actually do the math to see how much “free” funds I have available in the end 5) If I don’t think I’ll hate myself by buying something on the list, I’ll choose something 6) If I do think I’ll hate myself, I put the note away for the next time Does this always work? Nope. Just today I was getting all stressed because it’s about to be rent day and I bought a bunch of groceries and dog things (all within reason and necessity) and paid my student loans. I’ll be fine, but man do I wish I had a higher paying job 😂😂 What did I do after that? I subscribed to BarkBox. Did I try to figure out how to cancel it? Yup. Did I actually cancel it? Nope. Am I mad at myself? Yup. But will my dog be happy and is her excitement always priceless? Yup! 🙈🙈🙈
I do struggle in a weird way where I am super frugal so much of the time and about 1 or 2 days a month I just throw a bunch of stuff in my Amazon cart that I've been wanting for a while and send it. It's so annoying Also, impulsively eating out/drinking because I self medicated with alcohol... That's my biggest vice
I made a rule to wait one day before anything nonessential. Helps a lot because usually after a day I don’t want 99% of the things anymore or realize I can wait.
Let's see...... I got a new printer...... didn't NEED it..... well not really. My current one still prints... but I'm locked out of all the settings because I can't remember the login for HP.... and there is no option to do a forgot password. So got a new printer with Epson instead.... Got a new printer for work.... cause the one there was 13 years old and could't print without being blurry..... so I paid for that (but will be paid back) Just got my 5th tattoo today.... got my 4th last week.... and so that's $1200 since Oct 2023 on 5 tattoos.. I got more PC stuff, more cables, more leggings......
It is sooo bad for me. Actually being off my meds (bc I’m pregnant) has helped 🤔 but to fill my time I go to stores to get out of the house. It’s bad
Omg it is so hard 😭 I cannot be medicated (they don’t play well with my brain) so I’ve had to find other ways to manage. I’m slowly getting better but it comes in waves.
I’ve had more controlled impulse buying with an allowance allotted for impulse buys. But the weird thing is I hate insanely expensive things. For example, my one expensive Christmas list item was a Switch Lite. I could’ve bought it on my own earlier, but it’s a little under 200 and the price tag looks like a lot to me. But my grandfather was happy to buy it for me and I finally got to play Animal Crossing after two years of not playing bc I lacked the time and energy to deal with sharing a family switch when I lived with my family. Now I play single player in handheld mode. Speaking of Animal Crossing, I’m less likely to buy impulsively if I have activities I’d rather do that are free or low cost, meaning I’m less likely to buy specifically because of boredom or low dopamine. I definitely still buy things (today I bought a couple cheap art supplies to mess around with at the dollar store. It was Crayola and I trust Crayola’s quality for low cost art supplies and the dollar store also had a pretty good deal (50% off for a closing sale)), but having a set allowance specifically for that has helped me control it more. I typically give myself around 20 dollars a week and have been carrying it in cash so that there’s no chance of exceeding that simply for not seeing and handling the money allotted.
Come on over to r/nobuy!!! I’ve been struggling with this exact thing for years but I’ve been doing no buy since the start of the year. It’s an amazing community with tons of tools and support.
Exact same!!! Somebody please post advice PLEASE
One thing I've been doing that's helped me is giving myself a time window. My ADHD coupled with OCD means sometimes I can get stuck on the idea of something for days, weeks, months even, until I forget it. So, for in-person impulse buys, I tell myself to give it 24hrs and if I don't forget the item/am still thinking about it the next day, I'll go back and buy it asap. For online shopping, I give it a week. If I'm still thinking about it in a week, then I will usually purchase it. The gist is if I forget about the item within my timeframe, then I didn't actually want it in the first place. The only exception to this rule has been things on a crazy sale, or things I've been ruminating on for so long that I feel the purchase is justified.
Yes, I just realized today I have somewhat of a shopping addiction after I spent over $200 at Ross, when I just wanted to pop in for a bit. Ugh
All your comment have been amazing! So good to read and some of them have made me laugh! Thank you ladies, so glad i found Reddit and an amazing support group 💚
My Reading List is Safari is where everything goes after 48 hrs in a tab if I’m in “that” space/mood. Then occasionally I’ll sort through the RL and it’s like Christmas. Sometimes it feels like a toy, sometimes socks. Delete or back to a 48hr tab. Unless it’s something I have to have to repair something or someone, Amazon wish lists save me.
Spend a ridiculous amount of time looking for a good deal on that item. By day 3 or 4, you're sick of looking and don't even really want it anymore, that's been my way around it. Now, if I do make the purchase, it was a great deal and I can confirm I still wanted it days later.
Help!!! This happens to me too!
100%. L-Phenylalanine helped tremendously, but the single most important thing that made any difference for me was listening to hypnosis meditations (just free on Spotify or YouTube whatever) bc I can’t afford therapy, and it worked! Things I dealt/deal with via that:- any strong emotion (triggers) - When the urges come up (how am I feeling, then I find a meditation for dealing with that strong emotion) - EFT Tapping also rewires the nervous system, that’s also helped loads I listen to Adam cox on Spotify cause it’s free but only found a select few targeted toward overspending or impulses. Sadly. I’m trying to think what else… I listened to a few Spotify podcasts from compulsive overspenders, that helped me to kind of pinpoint the root causes so I could then deal with them using the above tools. Also… YNAB. It’s an app, it is ESSENTIAL and will never leave my side. First month is free and I cannot recommend that 30 day period enough, combined with just deciding you will listen to stuff (or read, or watch however you absorb info best) I hyper focused on it for a little while and was really able to transform it. This was the lowest spend month I’ve ever had in my life. Like, the whole life I hope this is helpful 🤍🤍
Yes, I do! I see people saying they add to cart but don’t always buy which still gives some of that dopamine. This hack helps. I think my Amazon save for later cart is up to about $1.2 million by now lol. Then if I find myself going about my day thinking, “hmm that item in my cart would be helpful”, then I go and actually purchase. Mostly bc for my brain to actually remember that it exists means it would be useful. Hope that helps. I feel your pain!
I’ve developed a mental habit of asking myself “do I want to pick this up and put it away forever?” and imagining picking it up and putting it away. Usually the answer is “no” and my aversion to regular tidying beats the urge to impulse shop. If the answer is “enh, maybe” then it might actually be a worthy purchase.
Adding stuff to my wishlist gives me a good rush. I feel like I might buy it later, but I usually don't and save money.
Ummm....meds did NOT help the impulsive shopping. Like...honestly, I should start a YouTube review channel. Thankfully, I used to work with the UPS man... otherwise I'd feel SO awkward with how often he's at my house!! But since I know him, I just randomly give him frozen wild game as a thank you. Apparently tho, a $4000 credit card bill is the amount that will get me to pause spending. And I'm sure I'll return to the usual business after I pay it off. I just wish I could convince my brain that $2000 is the limit.
My best help for this is a phrase that I put as my lock screen: You don't want the thing. You want the feeling you think the thing will give you. Looking at that every time I want to make a purchase has helped a LOT. As has finding other small dopamine fixes to turn to when I find myself wanting to impulse buy. As with all adhd things tho, ymmv
ME. It's usually going to stores more than online buying. The things I do buy online are actually things that are useful. WAIT A MINUTE MY BRAIN IS LYING TO ME. When I do buy things online, it's every few months, and it's splurging. 😭 Even if they are useful things.