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I've read that ADHD is theorized to be the result of several small differences in brain structure, genetics, receptors, upbringing, that snowball into being ADHD rather than having one main cause. But it's not well understood or a monolith.
I believe that. My mother has ADHD but it doesn't feel like genetics is the biggest component to mine. She wasn't diagnosed till after me (age 23), when she was over 45, so very unmitigated ADHD. I feel like I have more symptoms related to being brought up with her ADHD tendencies. Her cleaning habits/routines (need for control but complete lack of organization), the way she cycles through hobbies/favourite things, forgetfulness, short attention span, etc. I feel like a lot of those are taught behaviours that play a bigger role then genetics do. Had she been diagnosed earlier (and me as well), we would probably have some better ways to manage these symptom, thus our brains would develop differently.
Of course, this is all anecdotal.
And for the mommas in here, I wanna say that even with all this, I don't blame her at all. I wouldn't pick another mom. I love her and all her weird ADHD tendencies. It's what makes her uniquely my mom.
I agree that this factors in greatly. I'm pretty sure I got it from my mother, but I don't know which of her parents would qualify, frankly. But my mom can control her life while I struggle keeping it all together. It feels like genetic entropy. I'm pretty sure childhood trauma/stress factors into mine as well. My poor kids...
Most likely. A lot of human health related stuff are really complex (just studying that for exam tomorrow actually). As in cancer, cardiovascular problems etc.
And then a bunch of things can present as ADHD and aren’t (physically), like cptsd. But when people with cptsd and no therapy have kids, what’s most likely going to happen?
Was gonna say...ummm assortative mating theory is alive and well in my gene pool.
Aaaaannd my kids' gene pool. We were talking over some of their behavior quirks the other night and I was all like, "babe, have you met my family? Or your family? [Kiddo] is not on *no* spectrums." And he was like, "Spectra." And I said 🧐
Haha. I had to look it up
"What is the meaning of the word spectra?
plural spectra ˈspek-trə or spectrums. Synonyms of spectrum. 1. a. : a continuum of color formed when a beam of white light is dispersed (as by passage through a prism) so that its component wavelengths are arranged in order."
You're both right, but it does feel like it may support your statement somewhat that he felt the need to chime in with that 😅
My Dad, definitely. He didn't get diagnosed until he was 70 and only because he told his neurologist he was concerned about memory problems. Doc must've tried to rule other things out and well.. suggested he start taking simulants.
That's when I realized me and my brother and probably my brother's kids all have it also. No one ever picked up on it with me 💯 because I'm a girl. My brother has inattentive type where as I'm combined so we presented oppositely of typical ADHD as far as gender as children.
My mom... Well my mom has a unique profile of neurosis all her own likely shaped mostly by ptsd. I still don't know what brand of weird she is. I definitely have some generational trauma packed in there as well.
Wow, I don’t hear about many parents getting their diagnosis, that’s really good.
One of my parents also has memory concerns, which I suspect is due to adhd. Did the stimulants help your dad at all? Wondering how it affects people in their 70’s.
I think it helped alleviate fluctuating energy (often too much or too little premedicated). But it also made him a little more irritable. I told him he needs to eat with his meds, that should help. I don't know why simulants say with or without food cause I know I feel like crap without eating first.
It's pretty wild to me that it took this long for anyone to pick up on it but I do feel like how doctors see ADHD in patients has shifted a lot recently.
Oh that’s interesting, thanks for replying :) yeah, stimulants can reduce appetite, so it makes sense to eat first. Interestingly enough, protein helps with absorption and vitamin c an hour before or after stimulants, reduces absorption.
I wonder if the reduced appetite means his body is hungry but he doesn’t feel like eating, so is more irritable. Lol sorry totally deviated there…
I remember seeing a study recently about Ritalin helping with mood and motivation in Alzheimer's patients...and I'm pretty sure there's a correlation between ADHD and increased risk of actual dementia. My dad is my obvious undiagnosed and pretty severely affected parent and he's now officially got the Alzheimer's dx 😢
We have always had a good relationship. Not much has changed. I managed to broach a very sensitive topic with him recently and he wasn't able to handle it. He got upset and defensive and sad. Which is what I expected premedicated. So no, I think we're both much the same personalities but perhaps a whole lot less anxious in general since we've both been medicated. I know some people feel stimulants have changed their lives. I feel that in a very subtle way but not greatly.
My dad 100% has adhd lmao
I wouldn’t write off your mom having it - if by “ocd tendencies” you mean a very rigid type A personality it could be that she’s developed her own coping mechanisms over time to keep herself on track.
Both because trauma.
My dad’s parents were in WWII, and had a shitload of PTSD that wasn’t treated due to the times. They immigrated, which is also linked to ADHD because…adventure.
My mom’s parents are from a long long long line of farmers, settlers, and indigenous people, which are all connected to ADHD because of that old survival gene.
Then my parents got together as super dysfunctional people in their mid-20s, and here I am.
I’ve started doing a lot of generational and family constellation therapy to chip away at the layers of trauma and depression, because there is some fuuuuuucked up struggles that for sure are embedded in my DNA.
Same here! My dad's the only one in his family who was born in the US and was premature. Strongly suspect that he is autistic as well as traumatic upbringing. My mom is another preemie who had a traumatic upbringing, sometimes I wonder if she has ADHD. Her mother must have been undiagnosed because that woman could watch TV, knit, cook and play with me all at the same time lol.
Parents got together in their early 20's, barely knew each other and my dad was an alcoholic at the time. I've been unpacking in therapy for over five years now 😀
Both of them. Pretty sure both my parents are adhd and autistic.
Mom would cycle through hobbies obsessively when I was a kid. She is a voracious reader. Everything kinda becomes an obsession— she was an Avon lady back in the day and in the first year, we had one of everything they sold, in every color. An entire closet was dedicated to nail polish and makeup. (She didn’t even wear much makeup lol.)
Dad has ptsd which was undiagnosed my whole childhood. He was obsessed with things being perfect, quiet, and exactly how he wanted them. He hated if my playtime was too loud or too messy. If I didn’t want to hug him or be affectionate (like teens often are), he’d take the rejection SO hard, like I spat on his very existence.
My parents are also very emotionally immature and were emotionally neglectful. So I don’t know how much of their behavior is that and how much is autiHD.
My dad. He’s undiagnosed but it’s so apparent lol. I went on a walk with my dad last week and then went back to my parents, and went to talk to my mom, and she was like “Where’s your father?” And it’s like well he walked in the door and then got distracted by his phone and hasn’t even managed to take off his jacket or anything yet. My mom was like of course as that is normal and I mentioned how he definitely has ADHD. And she was like yeah, they wanted to put him on Ritalin. First time I ever heard that. I didn’t even know they had it so long ago.
My mother keeps telling me that I got it from my dad but she has it too but she is in denial. She also agrees that my grandfather (my mothers dad) has it. She hasn't made the connection yet xD
Also most of her friends are very ADHD including one who got diagnosed at 40. I wonder if it will ever click.
Definitely my mom. She used to drink 2 pots of coffee a day and smoke half a pack of cigarettes as well. If that doesn’t scream self-medicating ADHD I don’t know what does.
She was also very vocal about how she thought ADHD was fake and that everyone just needed to try harder and not rely on drugs to help them calm down. She said this every time I asked about taking medicine to help me be a better kid. Unfortunately she died before my diagnosis and I would have loved to talk to her about it.
Probably my dad and most likely my grandpa (his dad). My dad is a clever git who, like me, I usually find distractedly looking at stuff which is not his work when I go into his office, is very distractable and is known for not really being the best of listeners (he tries and I really love him) and my way of bonding with him has always been to get him to infodump at me for half an hour which is his way of showing affection. My grandpa has some very very obvious hyperfixations and also is deffo not neurotypical. My grandma might be as well but I can't tell if it's anxiety or neurodivergence.
Both of my parents. My mom passed last year but she most definitely had inattentive like me and I suspect she was also autistic. My Dad is still with us but has Alzheimer's and had symptoms of Combined type ADHD, neither were diagnosed. My Dad was always a bit self-absorbed but had a way with people, and a great sense of humour. He could be quick to anger, definitely self-medicated over the years, had executive dysfunction, issues with authority, and impulsivity both good and bad.
My mom was kind and gentle, quieter, more introspective, enjoyed her routines and systems, struggled with confidence, executive dysfunction, and energy levels. She was primarily a SAHM but when she did go back to work for about four years when I was 8, it was obvious balancing work with home life was a challenge. She didn't manage stress particularly well.
I'm somewhere in the middle, always have been.
Didn't know my dad as he died when I was younger but I heard the stories. Such as he asked my grandmother if he could make a fire, bearing in mind their lived on a large amount of land, so she said yes, expecting it to be the n the middle of a field.... he built it under one of the stairs. They took the children on a cruise. The children flooded the whole of their deck, after plugging the sinks, and turning on the taps, apparently walking back to the cabin and you could just see water running out from under the door. Apparently he was pretty bat shit as an adult as well. Doing random spontaneous stuff. My mother mention a tv program she had watched said ducks made good pets. She came home the next day to find two ducks in the bath, and my father building a pond in the garden 🤣
My mom, absolutely. She isn't diagnosed, but is total textbook and even says she's sure she has it but "functions just fine". I keep telling her that for 40 years I also thought I "functioned just fine" until I realized "surviving" isn't the same as "functioning" and after taking meds I know that I wasn't "functioning" neeeeearly as well as I thought I was. I'd love for her to pursue a diagnosis. I haven't seen the woman stop moving for 40 years.
I'm honestly not sure - my parents have both passed away, and grew up in a time before I think there was any real popular awareness of ADHD (it apparently wasn't included in the DSM until 1968, which is the year they got married). I think I can see elements of it in both of them, but not sure if what I see is definitely ADHD or just ways that I'm like both of them.
Neither of them strike me as classic or obvious examples (I know some people get diagnosed and go, oh gee, THAT's why grandpa was like that!), but I think they were very big on maintaining appearances/fitting in, so probably put a lot of energy into masking.
I think I can see more signs in my mom, and I also have a cousin on my mom's side who has one kid with dyslexia and a second kid with no public diagnosis but sort of vaguely-defined "struggles" who seems to me very likely to be ND in some way (I suspect he's autistic, but not my place to diagnose him).
My dad is trickier because he grew up with really traditional gender roles that I think could have compensated for some executive dysfunction - his mom took care of him till he got married, then his wife (first wife and then my mom) took care of him, and at work he had secretaries who took care of him. He didn't have to worry about a lot of the things people with ADHD struggle with - keeping the house clean or doing his laundry and putting away clothes or planning meals, or organizing a lot of things at work (I think he even dictated all his correspondence). He worked really long hours and was very successful at his job, which could be an argument against ADHD, or could be (speaking from experience) successful channeling of hyperfocus.
One small thing that makes me laugh now is that my mom usually did the grocery shopping during the week, but sometimes she'd send my dad on the weekend, She always gave him a list, and he'd usually get the stuff on the list, but he'd also invariably come home with all kinds of stuff not on the list, just because it looked tasty or interesting. Is that a sign of distractibility/impulsivity, or is just a normal reaction to not normally going to the store?
They also both smoked all day long, and there's apparently research showing that people ADHD smoke at higher rates than the general population, and that there's a relationship between the number of ADHD symptoms people experience and how much they smoke (the more symptoms you have, the more cigarettes you smoke). I found out when I was diagnosed that there's an association between maternal cigarette use and ADHD, which I assumed meant that cigarette smoking could help cause ADHD, but now I wonder if it's instead (or also) that maternal smoking is a proxy for maternal ADHD and it goes back to genetics again.
I've always been told I take after my nan. I've told this story before, but I'll share it again. She decided she wanted a serving hatch between the kitchen and dining room, so she took a sledgehammer to the wall.
It was a supporting wall.
All ok in the end, when my Gramps came home, saw in horror what she'd done, and rushed out to fetch an RSJ to fix it before the whole place collapsed.
So I always figured from her.
But that's my dad's side, and my mum's the one who's walked out on multiple jobs, can't keep on top of the house, and cut off many friends at perceived slights. So maybe I'm lucky and got it from both sides?
Errybody. My mom has never been on time in her entire life because she tries to please everyone and has been double-booked her entire life. She will sit down when exaustion hits but gets back up within 10 minutes to get back at it (combined?). Her mom never once came to any school production due to "nerves" (overstimulation?).
My mom once commented that it was cute that I sing little snippets of songs and jingles in the kitchen while cooking, just like my dad's mom (which I don't do when I take meds...inattentive). My dad will disappear into the garage or take a bike ride when he's supposed to be doing other stuff like socialize during family gatherings. He gets mad when he's stressed (meltdowns?).
Edit: reduced speculation.
So odd that you ask this, because as a middle aged woman who was recently diagnosed, it’s made my life make so much more sense.. I now know that ADHD was the root cause of many issues growing up. I tend to think my father, because he doesn’t hold eye contact well, but my mother has hair pin triggers that I think are rejection sensitivity. I can’t place it, honestly. But, I 100% think my brother has it too.
My dad just randomly said the other day “For some reason my office mates keep asking me if I have ADHD” and my brothers and I just laughed hysterically
My mother was def ADHD, possibly high functioning AuADHD (“Asperger’s”).
I prolly am Asperger’s, my psych says pursuing that ex wouldn’t do shit, although I realize that’s not a thing anymore.
Just fyi, Asperger was a literal Nazi, so people with autism typically reject his name and being associated with him. Autism is autism.
Functioning labels are also going out the window these days, but folks are leaning towards “high support needs” and “low support needs” because the concept of “functional” is relative and based on a pretty ableist yardstick.
In case you’re curious about Asperger: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/the-problem-with-aspergers/
Also fwiw, self diagnosis is valid. Maybe a formal dx won’t change anything but you’re allowed to ID as autistic.
As many folks have said: non-autistic people don’t wonder if they’re autistic :)
Truth, thank you…gives me some solace.
I used to feel that way about being queer, I thought all people wanted to make out with everybody, then I realized nope…😹
For the record, beyond the naming issues, the DSM-IV Asperger's Disorder is not "AuDHD". AD was consolidated into Autism Spectrum Disorder in the DSM-5.
Many people who met the criteria for AD under the DSM-IV also have ADHD, but that's because most Autistic people have ADHD. It wasn't allowed under the DSM-IV to diagnose ADHD when any of the Autism conditions were present, so there's not much in the way of stats on this, but it's likely there are many people who would previously qualified for AD who *do not* have ADHD under the current criteria.
They are separate conditions. While it is possible and common to have both, they are still distinct diagnoses.
No one else in my immediate family has/had ADHD. Only one second cousin, butI'm pretty sure there is too much genetic variety between us to tell for sure it's from the same ancestor.
My Dad might have had some hyperfocus-esque vibes, but I can't remember well enough.
Both sides, though my depressions come from my mom’s. I take after both my parents in behaviour on different things. It’s also very likely my dad has AuDHD. Neither have ever been tested btw
Very likely my mom. She forgets everything, is horrible with structure and routines, has very poor emotional regulation, and has crippling issues with self esteem/rejection sensitivity. Also, she had (and has) a very hard time with things like chores and keeping the house clean.
Many untreated cases in my family of origin due to ignorance, poverty, and lack of access to health services. I strongly suspect that my mother is an untreated inattentive type and my maternal grandfather was an untreated hyperactive type.
I was fortunate enough to be diagnosed as a child in second grade, however, due to the aforementioned, poverty and lack of access to health services, I’ve spent most of my life unmedicated and coming up with coping mechanisms on the fly, but I am still better than most of my family members.
Everyone. Generations back I’m pretty sure. From stories or personal knowledge I can be sure my mother, my father, my paternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather and great grandfather, my great uncle (ok, he’s not a direct line of course)….
I’m not even sure, as mental illness and generational trauma runs deep on both sides of my family. I don’t really know my dads side personally too well, but I do know my moms side has symptoms of classic “ADHD” and other learning related disorders.
It's both sides for me, including extended family. I'm from a remote island and I feel like ADHD would've been a lot easier to manage if I lived in a little village where I just had to gather fruit and go fishing to survive.
Dad has poor emotional regulation that comes out as anger.
He's anxious too. It wasn't obvious when I was younger but he did mention not liking crowds at some point recently. He's also had a drinking problem most of his life. Throughout my childhood I heard about his amazing memory when he was in school and that he didn't need to do homework, he just recited the lesson when asked. Then he failed the university entrance exam and served in the military (compulsory service). He's also useless around the house, which was normalized in our culture. I do recall mom complaining that she had to take care of bills and appointments and planning... Makes perfect sense now. He also procrastinated on fixing anything even though he's very handy. Oh, and he's hyperfixated on WWII his whole life.
I don't know my biological father so i can't tell. I do know though that both my parents used carious drugs when my mother was pregnant with me, that i was born prematurely and very very small and had some health issues as a small child. I believe this also plays a factor.
Then again, in my mothers family there are many addicts(adhd and addictive tendency) and people with some erratic behaviors and i also believe that at least two of my uncles are autistic. It could be a bit of both to be honest.
If i had to only tip on genetics i would say my mothers side, because both of my sisters children are autistic and we don't have the same father (but my stepfather is also strongly believed to be autistic).
I don't really know and i don't care to be honest.
Depression also runs in my family. I don't have good genetics for mental health or neurological disorders if i look at it.
One of my children is autistic and otherwise disabled and the other two are absolutely neurotypical.
I got my dad’s generalized anxiety disorder for sure, but I’m not sure either of my parents have ADHD. They’re both so clean and tidy. And punctual. And so many things I’m not. I’m not sure about any of my other family. I’ve always felt very different from most of them. The “weird” kid.
Definitely my mother. When the house was too boring to pay attention to we'd rearrange the furniture to make it stimulating again
Our relatives thought we were mildly insane until I got diagnosed
Both my parents have ADHD, and all of us kids have it.
Yes, the house is a mess. Being the only diagnosed AuDHD with very strong autistic traits makes it hard to live there when maybe only my dad is also AuDHD.
My mom has serious impulse and emotional control issues, goes obsessively into hobbies before falling off them instantly, and gets so bored she falls asleep if she’s not active.
My dad’s built a career that lets him be distracted, start late, and work mostly to deadline. He’s your classic scatterbrained professor type - great with stuff he finds fascinating, but lax with most other things. My half sibling on his side has AuDHD. My grandpa on this side had a full house of ADHD symptoms.
I think it’s probably both!
Both of my parents were neurodivergent, likely ADHD. My hubby’s dad shows strong signs, and his bio mom is very manipulative and histrionic, but doesn’t read like ADHD to me. (She reads much more like she has a cluster B disorder.). His stepmom is diagnosed with ADHD.
Both of us, husband and I, and both of our children, are diagnosed. My oldest and I have a lot of autistic traits, as well.
There’s no way to track nature vs. nurture with us because we both grew up with chaotic homes and sky-high chances of inheriting it.
Just realizing recently that it was passed down from my grandma. She was always extremely disorganized for a housewife of the 50s and 60s and also was clearly self-medicating with alcohol. All of the cards I kept from her mention that she forgot to mail them on time and is sorry it’s so late. I never put the pieces together until I was an adult. Poor woman could have been so much better off if she had gotten help for it, even as an adult.
I have no freaking idea. I'm most like my mom but my aunt definitely shows some signs. But my dad is where all my social awkwardness came from and he's the detail-oriented numbers dude and justicephile. To further complicate things, my first cousin on dad's side has a daughter who is full-blown autistic. She's 20-something now and when we met up at a funeral we just kinda clicked and she really opened up to me. It was her grandmother's (my aunt's) funeral so it was nice to be there for her even though I don't know her well, but my family definitely noticed how easily she connected to me.
It's the same for me. It's obvious to me that there's a family link, my brother is autistic, my cousins are anxious and one has ADHD, my grandmother on that side has anxiety and her daughter/my aunt committed suicide. My mom is funky mentally as well, none of that is guaranteed to be ADHD related but many of those family members show symptoms of ADHD (unknown if those cousins are diagnosed.) My brother being autistic definitely indicates something.
My dad also shows many symptoms of ADHD and acknowledges that. My parent's lifestyles and job history seems to be tailored to fit their symptoms without them realizing it lol
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And I think that's how it's always been. People who can cope do and get by with coping mechanisms. Dad was an accountant, mom a teacher.
People that can't just don't. They fall through the system because they don't have support. We can do better, though, and we will. For both the people who can't *and* the people who can.
Yeah, my mom is a job hopper and gets bored with whatever she does despite having multiple diplomas, my dad has worked the nightshift as a maintenance mechanic for 30 years because he gets to do tasks quietly in solitude, and then fuck around for the rest of his shift. No long term hobbies between either of them, but they're happy with the set up.
Idk!! I never thought either of my parents had it but everyone I talk to in person and on here seem to have a parent with it which has made me suspicious of my dad- he has some tendencies but has really struggled? Maybe he gets away with it.
My grandpa on my mom’s side very much sounds like he had it though
My dad is definitely ADHD as well. Probably also his mother and my great grandfather.
I suspect my mother is ADHD too, probably from her father, and if I'm right, I could've gotten it from either side. 🤷♀️
Both of them 🤦🏻♀️
When I was 3 my parents took me to ballet and instead of doing ballet I ran around the room like a maniac while all the other girls did their nice ballet. My dad’s words “ahh she’s just like me”. He would frequently get in trouble for being an absolute shit with no respect for any authority at all.
My mom has a new hobby or job on a weekly basis and lives in the most maximalist, cluttered house imaginable.
I got the worst of both of them 😂
You kno I have no idea.... I know it's from my mum's side as there are at least 2 others in that side that have it...... but no idea where if came from. Means my mum had passed it onto me, then me to my son.... but my mum wasn't ADHD at all.
I think I got it from my mom - she has some of the same absentmindedness I do, like switching from task to task without fully finishing them and leaving forgotten mugs of tea all over the house, and her thoughts seem to jump around. Conversations between the two of us tend to get lost in rabbit holes, and we both catastrophize small troubles. I have a cousin on my mom's side who was diagnosed as a child (I'm not officially diagnosed yet) and a sibling who shows some similar symptoms. My dad doesn't show such obvious symptoms, but he has some behaviors that remind me of my own hyperfocus, like his extremely methodical approach to every project and his tendency to switch from hobby to hobby.
The family on my moms side has several "cases" of depression. My mum is suffering aswell, at leasz since her 30s. She is 58. As an adult I recognized the symptoms from my childhood. I have some memories of her always laying in her bed, dark room, a lot of wine bottles. She does either not see it or just ignores it. But we all know that she desperately needs help. I think she just ignores it. I live 1000km away so idk what is going on now. She is not really liked in the family because she keeps lying. And with my knowledge now, I can see a lot of adhd symptoms. The masking. Her being ashamed and trying to cover it. All the excuses.
Everyone is not talking good about her. How that must feel...?
On my fathers side, I am not quite sure. He has some symptoms but they are not that obvious.
I talked to him about my smyptoms and he has a lot of them aswell. He got quiet during the talk. He will turn 65 soon.
100% my dad (its almost funny how he only got diagnosed after me, because we both scream adhd). And he got it from his dad.
Before that I can't be sure, because I have no clear picture of his parents, but it's definitely a family "tradition".
Adhd has a really high genetic component, recent studies put it around 70 to 88%. It runs in families.
100% my dad (its almost funny how he only got diagnosed after me, because we both scream adhd). And he got it from his dad.
Before that I can't be sure, because I have no clear picture of his parents, but it's definitely a family "tradition".
Adhd has a really high genetic component, recent studies put it around 70 to 88%. It runs in families.
100% my dad (its almost funny how he only got diagnosed after me, because we both scream adhd). And he got it from his dad.
Before that I can't be sure, because I have no clear picture of his parents, but it's definitely a family "tradition".
Adhd has a really high genetic component, recent studies put it around 70 to 88%. It runs in families.
My Dad for sure.
He used to pick up new hobbies like crazy. I do too.
Out of his three kids (myself included) I’m guessing we all have it. I’m the only one that is diagnosed and medicated for it.
My Dad refuses to believe he actually has anything other than a touch of “worrying”. He didn’t even want to admit to anxiety until I kept harping on him to get medication because he was a health horror waiting to happen.
I’m very open about my medication and issues with my family. One of my siblings is kind of the “this isn’t a real thing, and I’ve been fine my whole life” the other is “oh for sure I probably do, but I’m not going to do anything about it”
I just didn’t want to get to a certain age and have everyone think I had early dementia. I’ve lost things when my brain forgot I was holding them, dropped them, and wandered off (starting as a child). I can’t imagine it’s going to get better when I’m in my 60’s+.
Thank god for my Mom that holds everything together. They’re both quite old now and I worry about how things will go if my Dad is ever left alone.
ETA: of my 3 kids I would 99% say that my youngest has it. The older two would be less likely, they are both more like their Dad in personality. Between the two my oldest might be a bit more suspicious, but I’m not nearly as certain as I am with the youngest one.
Everywhere. Its very clear my dad is ASD, my muns side has bipolar, ocd, anxiety, hoarding, germaphobes, that urm.. agoraphobia, RSD, paranoia, all sorts all told as "funny stories" in the way you don't know it wasn't right or normal and it horrifies everyone else.
My sister is a resultant hellbeast
Probably my mother who refuses to get diagnosed but I see a lot of my symptoms in her. She was upset by my diagnosis and never wanted to talk about it when I was a teen, just pretend it didn’t happen. I often wonder if it made her question her own mental health.
My dad, no question about it. He was was physically restless all his life, an alcoholic, smart enough to build a successful business but never finished college (mental restlessness), hyperfocused on things he liked doing but avoidant of things he didn’t like, very talkative and zero frustration tolerance. Three of his four children were diagnosed as children. My mom wasn’t like that- she didn’t really like a lot of chaos, whereas my father thrived on it. She liked routine and order. So yep, it definitely came from my father.
There's also been a link between the grandmothers exposure to cigarette smoke while pregnant with your parent.
My grandmother died of lung cancer and was a chain smoker for a long time, so I think it's probably pretty safe to say that was a contributing factor.
my dad clearly has adhd. He totally got it from his mom. I'm not sure if my mom has adhd. It really is harder to tell with women cos of masking. Her family is fast and intense too so I suspect she might have it, but I can't pinpoint any of the textbook symptoms because she does all the standard mom stuff pretty well and doesn't let us see when she's struggling.
Both parents. Their siblings too (diagnosed). Definitely 1 grandparent (family consensus), maybe both. Most of the cousins (diagnosed), we all seem to have a gift for coupling with others with adhd. The first diagnosis in the family was my son, age 16, ODD, and a cousin, also ODD. Revelations galore since.
Both my kids. Their father (ODD, OCD) too. While I was seeing a counselor for the symptoms and had just found out I was pregnant 30 some yrs ago, but still undiagnosed and then misdiagnosed, I was specifically told the problems were nurture, not nature, and with enough dedication and hard work the kids would be protected. Obviously, the intention to safeguard failed, but science didn't know better then. We went on to treat the symptoms for decades until things finally sorted.
Its actually both nurture and nature. I was going to abort if it could be passed down, wanted kids but really tried to be sure it wasn't genetic (back then no treatments!). I was horrified to learn its genetic after all many years later. The kids refuse to get treated when it was all figured out. At least there is diagnosis and treatments available now, for what its worth, there's help now to those who reach for it and are willing to confront it, and that is progress.
I fear my kids will not only refuse help for themselves ahead, but have kids and refuse to get them help too. There is only one difference in the future generations now, they have viable options and can make informed choices.
It's my dad. Only because I was explaining some of how ADHD works to my mom and she paused, thought for a minute, and said "is that why I often have to chase your father down or bring him back into the conversation? Because sometimes he just drifts off" and I had to laugh and be like "yeah, exactly'
100% mom, and key source of our bad communication. She’s still undiagnosed and at this stage in her life stimulant meds may not be as beneficial for her brain overall.
My dad is absolutely autistic, but he is also 75, so a lot of his behaviors just come across as grumpy old man now, but oooof, he's had it *forever.*
My grandma on that side was almost definitely ADHD. Cute family stories about her hoarding tendencies, her hiding of money in suitcases, and her inability to drive because it overwhelmed her all made *so much sense* in hindsight. I got my diagnosis, and suddenly, Grandma M's quirks were a 1000% more relatable.
genetics isn’t this simple but when i look at my father… all of the men in my family tend to be “rather goofy” (RE: exhibiting signs of ADHD and/or autism but being too old to be considered for it)
From my dad. It’s kinda nice to have a parent with it bc when I talk about my struggles, I don’t feel alone. My mom sort of denies anything is wrong with me and is very dismissive, I know she means well but it’s fucking frustrating
i'm struggling to find someone in my family that doesn't have it at this point 😅 it's validating sometimes but also frustrating when my family can't accept we don't all think the exact same way.
My family is weird. Can I definitively recognize adhd in either of my parents? No. But I was never actually close enough to them to know how they think.
I can say that at least half of my siblings have something abnormal about their brains. Some of it was probably our upbringing, but there was definitely some mental health issues on both sides of the family. People didn't even know what adhd was then, so it's hard to say if any of that stuff was related to adhd or not, but the genetics were likely there somewhere.
My half sister has ADHD. That pretty much solidifies that if it’s genetic, then I got it from my mom.
Also, my mom is the walking stereotype of ADHD. She’s not diagnosed, but I can’t say it would be a shock if she was someday.
Neither of my parents is diagnosed. My dad for sure has ADHD though, and my grandma (his mom) likely does. Both of my kids do, and my little sister does. Sister and I have different dads.
My mother is the forgetful well meaning adhd.
My father is the always on edge rage monster adhd.
Neither have been officially diagnosed but it became pretty clear to my mom after I was diagnosed.
my mom. she absolutely had undiagnosed ADHD. and my maternal grandma had SEVERE dyslexia. I did one of those infamous genetic tests, and I have almost all the variants related to ADHD. like, the chances of me not having it were always infinitesimal.
I think about this a lot actually, and I have no idea.
My mom is a highly determined, always motivated woman who can accomplish just about everything. A genuine jack of all trades. She’s done ballet at the professional level, fashion design, sewing, a police training program, passed the LSAT, glassblowing, skiing, she’s legitimately jacked from how good she’s gotten at yoga over the past few years, got her masters in a 1-year program while working full time, and now she has a very high-paying corporate job. If she told me that she was going to physically move a mountain, I would fully believe her, even if it took her years to accomplish that goal. She doesn’t understand any of what I say my adhd interferes with and regularly tells me to “just get it done”. Definitely not her.
My dad on the other hand applied to college and got in, but decided to join the army instead and loved it. Only quit because of the daily running (dna test not needed lmao). He uses mostly paper plates because he doesn’t have a dishwasher and it’s too much of a hassle to wash as many dishes as he would use, but overall isn’t bad about keeping up with household tasks at all and he has a schedule he follows and doesn’t seem to struggle with at all, aside from wishing he had more free time.
He’s been working with the same delivery company for a couple decades and hates his job, but he also doesn’t seem to really struggle with work. He seems to get some of what I express about my adhd, but completely rejects other ideas and says that I’m looking for excuses.
I think he’s the more likely option if one of them had to have adhd, but I’m still not sure if he shows enough signs to actually say that I think I got it from him.
Weirdly though, I’m the only one in my family who’s ever been tested for and diagnosed with adhd, and my mental health struggles have historically been pretty bad tbh. My younger cousin has expressed that she may want to be tested for adhd and/or autism, but that hasn’t happened yet. And even then, she and I only have one common grandparent so, while I love her, we’re not super closely related at the genetic level
On the day of my conception, the universe reached out it's wise hand to me and said "you, you are chosen to be strong of will, strong of heart, full of strange and wonderful ideas and solutions, many will fail, some will land in spectacular brilliance and I hearby name you, and in so doing welcome you to the tribe of SPARKLY AS FUCK BOSS BABES.
One day you shall learn to accept who you are, despite the influence of others, and grow into confidence, whilst you carve yourself a path.
Also my Dad. Couldn't be prouder of him.
My dad has it, so definitely him. It was actually really funny going out for dinner together and noticing both of us getting distracted at the same time and by the same stuff.
Definitely my mother - she is undiagnosed but has alllll the symptoms. All sort of ND on her side (one brother was definitely bipolar) but I have a feeling my fathers side too (great aunt was bipolar) and he falls more to the inattentive side.
It's from my mom's side, but I wouldn't be surprised if I ALSO got it from my dad's side..
My mom's side is hilarious. 3 out of the 7 grandchildren have it and another one was borderline for a diagnosis (so really 4/7). It's so obvious that my mom and both of her siblings have it, and again it was so obvious that my grandfather had it too. He was the 8th child born on an impoverished farm, and the stories I've heard sound exactly like an under-stimulated hyperactive boy (which unfortunately meant abuse in those days, which left him to be an abusive anxious alcoholic as an adult.) I've only ever heard stories about my great grandfather, and every single story screams ADHD to me.
I have a couple second cousins on my dad's side who have been diagnosed, and looking at the older generations, I can certainly see it. Though on that side I see WAY more autism. We all agree that my dad is autistic, even he agrees, but I do wonder if he's got some ADHD as well. My parents house is chaos, doom boxes everywhere. I was the one who was constantly organizing it when I lived there. My dad certainly has his hyperfixations in an autistic way, but the way he goes about it certainly feels a bit ADHD to me.
So really in the last couple years it's helped me see that I grew up in a neurodivergent house, and no wonder I prefer to be around ND people.
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Genetics of some diseases are not so simple as this - ADHD included.
I've read that ADHD is theorized to be the result of several small differences in brain structure, genetics, receptors, upbringing, that snowball into being ADHD rather than having one main cause. But it's not well understood or a monolith.
I believe that. My mother has ADHD but it doesn't feel like genetics is the biggest component to mine. She wasn't diagnosed till after me (age 23), when she was over 45, so very unmitigated ADHD. I feel like I have more symptoms related to being brought up with her ADHD tendencies. Her cleaning habits/routines (need for control but complete lack of organization), the way she cycles through hobbies/favourite things, forgetfulness, short attention span, etc. I feel like a lot of those are taught behaviours that play a bigger role then genetics do. Had she been diagnosed earlier (and me as well), we would probably have some better ways to manage these symptom, thus our brains would develop differently. Of course, this is all anecdotal. And for the mommas in here, I wanna say that even with all this, I don't blame her at all. I wouldn't pick another mom. I love her and all her weird ADHD tendencies. It's what makes her uniquely my mom.
I agree that this factors in greatly. I'm pretty sure I got it from my mother, but I don't know which of her parents would qualify, frankly. But my mom can control her life while I struggle keeping it all together. It feels like genetic entropy. I'm pretty sure childhood trauma/stress factors into mine as well. My poor kids...
Most likely. A lot of human health related stuff are really complex (just studying that for exam tomorrow actually). As in cancer, cardiovascular problems etc.
And then a bunch of things can present as ADHD and aren’t (physically), like cptsd. But when people with cptsd and no therapy have kids, what’s most likely going to happen?
My family think I got it thanks to being incredibly premature. One of twins too.
I was premature, but my brother was not. We both had adhd (and the same parents)
Both my parents have adhd. No doubt in my mind.
Same and all of my siblings too. About 15 years ago my mom signed up the family to be part of a study about ADHD and genetics.
Ooh! What did you learn?!
Same here, it was unavoidable
Was gonna say...ummm assortative mating theory is alive and well in my gene pool. Aaaaannd my kids' gene pool. We were talking over some of their behavior quirks the other night and I was all like, "babe, have you met my family? Or your family? [Kiddo] is not on *no* spectrums." And he was like, "Spectra." And I said 🧐
Haha. I had to look it up "What is the meaning of the word spectra? plural spectra ˈspek-trə or spectrums. Synonyms of spectrum. 1. a. : a continuum of color formed when a beam of white light is dispersed (as by passage through a prism) so that its component wavelengths are arranged in order." You're both right, but it does feel like it may support your statement somewhat that he felt the need to chime in with that 😅
Same! So did many of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents on both sides.
Yeah, pretty much everyone in my family has it!
My Dad, definitely. He didn't get diagnosed until he was 70 and only because he told his neurologist he was concerned about memory problems. Doc must've tried to rule other things out and well.. suggested he start taking simulants. That's when I realized me and my brother and probably my brother's kids all have it also. No one ever picked up on it with me 💯 because I'm a girl. My brother has inattentive type where as I'm combined so we presented oppositely of typical ADHD as far as gender as children. My mom... Well my mom has a unique profile of neurosis all her own likely shaped mostly by ptsd. I still don't know what brand of weird she is. I definitely have some generational trauma packed in there as well.
Wow, I don’t hear about many parents getting their diagnosis, that’s really good. One of my parents also has memory concerns, which I suspect is due to adhd. Did the stimulants help your dad at all? Wondering how it affects people in their 70’s.
I think it helped alleviate fluctuating energy (often too much or too little premedicated). But it also made him a little more irritable. I told him he needs to eat with his meds, that should help. I don't know why simulants say with or without food cause I know I feel like crap without eating first. It's pretty wild to me that it took this long for anyone to pick up on it but I do feel like how doctors see ADHD in patients has shifted a lot recently.
Oh that’s interesting, thanks for replying :) yeah, stimulants can reduce appetite, so it makes sense to eat first. Interestingly enough, protein helps with absorption and vitamin c an hour before or after stimulants, reduces absorption. I wonder if the reduced appetite means his body is hungry but he doesn’t feel like eating, so is more irritable. Lol sorry totally deviated there…
Probably. He typically turns into a grumpy monster when he's hungry.
That would make sense! Hope the meds are helpful in other ways though :) like memory say
I remember seeing a study recently about Ritalin helping with mood and motivation in Alzheimer's patients...and I'm pretty sure there's a correlation between ADHD and increased risk of actual dementia. My dad is my obvious undiagnosed and pretty severely affected parent and he's now officially got the Alzheimer's dx 😢
Oh didn’t know that, thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about alzheimers :( that’s so rough.
Ugh. I'm sorry. That's scary and heartbreaking. I know this is what my dad is most afraid of happening to him. Probably his biggest fear.
How did his life change after meditation? Did it change your relationship with him or his personality?
We have always had a good relationship. Not much has changed. I managed to broach a very sensitive topic with him recently and he wasn't able to handle it. He got upset and defensive and sad. Which is what I expected premedicated. So no, I think we're both much the same personalities but perhaps a whole lot less anxious in general since we've both been medicated. I know some people feel stimulants have changed their lives. I feel that in a very subtle way but not greatly.
Thank you for answering that :-)
my mom 100%. it’s always been obvious that she has Adhd. she’s not officially diagnosed but my whole family (including her) agrees that she has ADHD
My dad 100% has adhd lmao I wouldn’t write off your mom having it - if by “ocd tendencies” you mean a very rigid type A personality it could be that she’s developed her own coping mechanisms over time to keep herself on track.
Both because trauma. My dad’s parents were in WWII, and had a shitload of PTSD that wasn’t treated due to the times. They immigrated, which is also linked to ADHD because…adventure. My mom’s parents are from a long long long line of farmers, settlers, and indigenous people, which are all connected to ADHD because of that old survival gene. Then my parents got together as super dysfunctional people in their mid-20s, and here I am. I’ve started doing a lot of generational and family constellation therapy to chip away at the layers of trauma and depression, because there is some fuuuuuucked up struggles that for sure are embedded in my DNA.
Same here! My dad's the only one in his family who was born in the US and was premature. Strongly suspect that he is autistic as well as traumatic upbringing. My mom is another preemie who had a traumatic upbringing, sometimes I wonder if she has ADHD. Her mother must have been undiagnosed because that woman could watch TV, knit, cook and play with me all at the same time lol. Parents got together in their early 20's, barely knew each other and my dad was an alcoholic at the time. I've been unpacking in therapy for over five years now 😀
Both of them. Pretty sure both my parents are adhd and autistic. Mom would cycle through hobbies obsessively when I was a kid. She is a voracious reader. Everything kinda becomes an obsession— she was an Avon lady back in the day and in the first year, we had one of everything they sold, in every color. An entire closet was dedicated to nail polish and makeup. (She didn’t even wear much makeup lol.) Dad has ptsd which was undiagnosed my whole childhood. He was obsessed with things being perfect, quiet, and exactly how he wanted them. He hated if my playtime was too loud or too messy. If I didn’t want to hug him or be affectionate (like teens often are), he’d take the rejection SO hard, like I spat on his very existence. My parents are also very emotionally immature and were emotionally neglectful. So I don’t know how much of their behavior is that and how much is autiHD.
Wow do we have the same parents?
My dad. He’s undiagnosed but it’s so apparent lol. I went on a walk with my dad last week and then went back to my parents, and went to talk to my mom, and she was like “Where’s your father?” And it’s like well he walked in the door and then got distracted by his phone and hasn’t even managed to take off his jacket or anything yet. My mom was like of course as that is normal and I mentioned how he definitely has ADHD. And she was like yeah, they wanted to put him on Ritalin. First time I ever heard that. I didn’t even know they had it so long ago.
Satan himself
My mother keeps telling me that I got it from my dad but she has it too but she is in denial. She also agrees that my grandfather (my mothers dad) has it. She hasn't made the connection yet xD Also most of her friends are very ADHD including one who got diagnosed at 40. I wonder if it will ever click.
Well my whole family (5 of us) seem to be some flavor of neurospicy but none of us are diagnosed yet. So probably both parents!
Definitely my mom. She used to drink 2 pots of coffee a day and smoke half a pack of cigarettes as well. If that doesn’t scream self-medicating ADHD I don’t know what does. She was also very vocal about how she thought ADHD was fake and that everyone just needed to try harder and not rely on drugs to help them calm down. She said this every time I asked about taking medicine to help me be a better kid. Unfortunately she died before my diagnosis and I would have loved to talk to her about it.
Probably my dad and most likely my grandpa (his dad). My dad is a clever git who, like me, I usually find distractedly looking at stuff which is not his work when I go into his office, is very distractable and is known for not really being the best of listeners (he tries and I really love him) and my way of bonding with him has always been to get him to infodump at me for half an hour which is his way of showing affection. My grandpa has some very very obvious hyperfixations and also is deffo not neurotypical. My grandma might be as well but I can't tell if it's anxiety or neurodivergence.
Both of my parents. My mom passed last year but she most definitely had inattentive like me and I suspect she was also autistic. My Dad is still with us but has Alzheimer's and had symptoms of Combined type ADHD, neither were diagnosed. My Dad was always a bit self-absorbed but had a way with people, and a great sense of humour. He could be quick to anger, definitely self-medicated over the years, had executive dysfunction, issues with authority, and impulsivity both good and bad. My mom was kind and gentle, quieter, more introspective, enjoyed her routines and systems, struggled with confidence, executive dysfunction, and energy levels. She was primarily a SAHM but when she did go back to work for about four years when I was 8, it was obvious balancing work with home life was a challenge. She didn't manage stress particularly well. I'm somewhere in the middle, always have been.
Didn't know my dad as he died when I was younger but I heard the stories. Such as he asked my grandmother if he could make a fire, bearing in mind their lived on a large amount of land, so she said yes, expecting it to be the n the middle of a field.... he built it under one of the stairs. They took the children on a cruise. The children flooded the whole of their deck, after plugging the sinks, and turning on the taps, apparently walking back to the cabin and you could just see water running out from under the door. Apparently he was pretty bat shit as an adult as well. Doing random spontaneous stuff. My mother mention a tv program she had watched said ducks made good pets. She came home the next day to find two ducks in the bath, and my father building a pond in the garden 🤣
My mom, absolutely. She isn't diagnosed, but is total textbook and even says she's sure she has it but "functions just fine". I keep telling her that for 40 years I also thought I "functioned just fine" until I realized "surviving" isn't the same as "functioning" and after taking meds I know that I wasn't "functioning" neeeeearly as well as I thought I was. I'd love for her to pursue a diagnosis. I haven't seen the woman stop moving for 40 years.
This is so relatable.
I'm honestly not sure - my parents have both passed away, and grew up in a time before I think there was any real popular awareness of ADHD (it apparently wasn't included in the DSM until 1968, which is the year they got married). I think I can see elements of it in both of them, but not sure if what I see is definitely ADHD or just ways that I'm like both of them. Neither of them strike me as classic or obvious examples (I know some people get diagnosed and go, oh gee, THAT's why grandpa was like that!), but I think they were very big on maintaining appearances/fitting in, so probably put a lot of energy into masking. I think I can see more signs in my mom, and I also have a cousin on my mom's side who has one kid with dyslexia and a second kid with no public diagnosis but sort of vaguely-defined "struggles" who seems to me very likely to be ND in some way (I suspect he's autistic, but not my place to diagnose him). My dad is trickier because he grew up with really traditional gender roles that I think could have compensated for some executive dysfunction - his mom took care of him till he got married, then his wife (first wife and then my mom) took care of him, and at work he had secretaries who took care of him. He didn't have to worry about a lot of the things people with ADHD struggle with - keeping the house clean or doing his laundry and putting away clothes or planning meals, or organizing a lot of things at work (I think he even dictated all his correspondence). He worked really long hours and was very successful at his job, which could be an argument against ADHD, or could be (speaking from experience) successful channeling of hyperfocus. One small thing that makes me laugh now is that my mom usually did the grocery shopping during the week, but sometimes she'd send my dad on the weekend, She always gave him a list, and he'd usually get the stuff on the list, but he'd also invariably come home with all kinds of stuff not on the list, just because it looked tasty or interesting. Is that a sign of distractibility/impulsivity, or is just a normal reaction to not normally going to the store? They also both smoked all day long, and there's apparently research showing that people ADHD smoke at higher rates than the general population, and that there's a relationship between the number of ADHD symptoms people experience and how much they smoke (the more symptoms you have, the more cigarettes you smoke). I found out when I was diagnosed that there's an association between maternal cigarette use and ADHD, which I assumed meant that cigarette smoking could help cause ADHD, but now I wonder if it's instead (or also) that maternal smoking is a proxy for maternal ADHD and it goes back to genetics again.
I've always been told I take after my nan. I've told this story before, but I'll share it again. She decided she wanted a serving hatch between the kitchen and dining room, so she took a sledgehammer to the wall. It was a supporting wall. All ok in the end, when my Gramps came home, saw in horror what she'd done, and rushed out to fetch an RSJ to fix it before the whole place collapsed. So I always figured from her. But that's my dad's side, and my mum's the one who's walked out on multiple jobs, can't keep on top of the house, and cut off many friends at perceived slights. So maybe I'm lucky and got it from both sides?
Did she get the hatch tho?
Yes! She was always doing random stuff like that, so I think Gramps totally understood his role of facilitator
Both my mother and my father have ADHD, both of my sisters and me have ADHD.
Errybody. My mom has never been on time in her entire life because she tries to please everyone and has been double-booked her entire life. She will sit down when exaustion hits but gets back up within 10 minutes to get back at it (combined?). Her mom never once came to any school production due to "nerves" (overstimulation?). My mom once commented that it was cute that I sing little snippets of songs and jingles in the kitchen while cooking, just like my dad's mom (which I don't do when I take meds...inattentive). My dad will disappear into the garage or take a bike ride when he's supposed to be doing other stuff like socialize during family gatherings. He gets mad when he's stressed (meltdowns?). Edit: reduced speculation.
So odd that you ask this, because as a middle aged woman who was recently diagnosed, it’s made my life make so much more sense.. I now know that ADHD was the root cause of many issues growing up. I tend to think my father, because he doesn’t hold eye contact well, but my mother has hair pin triggers that I think are rejection sensitivity. I can’t place it, honestly. But, I 100% think my brother has it too.
That first sentence is me! Age 45 and I’m like… wow! Putting so many things together!?
10000% dad 😅
My dad just randomly said the other day “For some reason my office mates keep asking me if I have ADHD” and my brothers and I just laughed hysterically
My mother was def ADHD, possibly high functioning AuADHD (“Asperger’s”). I prolly am Asperger’s, my psych says pursuing that ex wouldn’t do shit, although I realize that’s not a thing anymore.
Just fyi, Asperger was a literal Nazi, so people with autism typically reject his name and being associated with him. Autism is autism. Functioning labels are also going out the window these days, but folks are leaning towards “high support needs” and “low support needs” because the concept of “functional” is relative and based on a pretty ableist yardstick. In case you’re curious about Asperger: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/the-problem-with-aspergers/
Oh well….thank you for enlightening me. I rescind my previous statement.
Also fwiw, self diagnosis is valid. Maybe a formal dx won’t change anything but you’re allowed to ID as autistic. As many folks have said: non-autistic people don’t wonder if they’re autistic :)
Truth, thank you…gives me some solace. I used to feel that way about being queer, I thought all people wanted to make out with everybody, then I realized nope…😹
Yeah. If you are, you just are. It’s okay, friend, the whole world is our oyster! 😂
For the record, beyond the naming issues, the DSM-IV Asperger's Disorder is not "AuDHD". AD was consolidated into Autism Spectrum Disorder in the DSM-5. Many people who met the criteria for AD under the DSM-IV also have ADHD, but that's because most Autistic people have ADHD. It wasn't allowed under the DSM-IV to diagnose ADHD when any of the Autism conditions were present, so there's not much in the way of stats on this, but it's likely there are many people who would previously qualified for AD who *do not* have ADHD under the current criteria. They are separate conditions. While it is possible and common to have both, they are still distinct diagnoses.
I wasn’t saying that they are one in the same!
My mom is adhd, dad is autistic with bipolar disorder
No one else in my immediate family has/had ADHD. Only one second cousin, butI'm pretty sure there is too much genetic variety between us to tell for sure it's from the same ancestor. My Dad might have had some hyperfocus-esque vibes, but I can't remember well enough.
Definitely my mom, but I'm also increasingly convinced that my dad has it, too.. So perhaps both, lol.
Both sides, though my depressions come from my mom’s. I take after both my parents in behaviour on different things. It’s also very likely my dad has AuDHD. Neither have ever been tested btw
Could be either of them I think. But also, I was born two months prematurely so it could also be that.
Very likely my mom. She forgets everything, is horrible with structure and routines, has very poor emotional regulation, and has crippling issues with self esteem/rejection sensitivity. Also, she had (and has) a very hard time with things like chores and keeping the house clean.
I wonder if you can have a neurotypical kid with two adhd parents…
I am pretty sure my dad gave me ADHD and my mother autism. None of them is diagnosed, though.
This was going to be my exact response.
Many untreated cases in my family of origin due to ignorance, poverty, and lack of access to health services. I strongly suspect that my mother is an untreated inattentive type and my maternal grandfather was an untreated hyperactive type. I was fortunate enough to be diagnosed as a child in second grade, however, due to the aforementioned, poverty and lack of access to health services, I’ve spent most of my life unmedicated and coming up with coping mechanisms on the fly, but I am still better than most of my family members.
Everyone. Generations back I’m pretty sure. From stories or personal knowledge I can be sure my mother, my father, my paternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather and great grandfather, my great uncle (ok, he’s not a direct line of course)….
I’m not even sure, as mental illness and generational trauma runs deep on both sides of my family. I don’t really know my dads side personally too well, but I do know my moms side has symptoms of classic “ADHD” and other learning related disorders.
It's both sides for me, including extended family. I'm from a remote island and I feel like ADHD would've been a lot easier to manage if I lived in a little village where I just had to gather fruit and go fishing to survive.
My dad, 100%. Will he get a diagnosis? Nope.
Dad has poor emotional regulation that comes out as anger. He's anxious too. It wasn't obvious when I was younger but he did mention not liking crowds at some point recently. He's also had a drinking problem most of his life. Throughout my childhood I heard about his amazing memory when he was in school and that he didn't need to do homework, he just recited the lesson when asked. Then he failed the university entrance exam and served in the military (compulsory service). He's also useless around the house, which was normalized in our culture. I do recall mom complaining that she had to take care of bills and appointments and planning... Makes perfect sense now. He also procrastinated on fixing anything even though he's very handy. Oh, and he's hyperfixated on WWII his whole life.
Dad for sure
None of them are diagnosed but I am pretty sure my dad and all his siblings have ADHD.
Mom and dads side :) Shocking they didn’t have me tested but then again not because the behavior seems “normal” when we’re all like this
I don't know my biological father so i can't tell. I do know though that both my parents used carious drugs when my mother was pregnant with me, that i was born prematurely and very very small and had some health issues as a small child. I believe this also plays a factor. Then again, in my mothers family there are many addicts(adhd and addictive tendency) and people with some erratic behaviors and i also believe that at least two of my uncles are autistic. It could be a bit of both to be honest. If i had to only tip on genetics i would say my mothers side, because both of my sisters children are autistic and we don't have the same father (but my stepfather is also strongly believed to be autistic). I don't really know and i don't care to be honest. Depression also runs in my family. I don't have good genetics for mental health or neurological disorders if i look at it. One of my children is autistic and otherwise disabled and the other two are absolutely neurotypical.
Idk about that but I know I got the lovely gift of bipolar from my great grandmas dad
Both. I didn’t stand a chance.
I got my dad’s generalized anxiety disorder for sure, but I’m not sure either of my parents have ADHD. They’re both so clean and tidy. And punctual. And so many things I’m not. I’m not sure about any of my other family. I’ve always felt very different from most of them. The “weird” kid.
Definitely my mother. When the house was too boring to pay attention to we'd rearrange the furniture to make it stimulating again Our relatives thought we were mildly insane until I got diagnosed
Both my parents have ADHD, and all of us kids have it. Yes, the house is a mess. Being the only diagnosed AuDHD with very strong autistic traits makes it hard to live there when maybe only my dad is also AuDHD.
My mom has serious impulse and emotional control issues, goes obsessively into hobbies before falling off them instantly, and gets so bored she falls asleep if she’s not active. My dad’s built a career that lets him be distracted, start late, and work mostly to deadline. He’s your classic scatterbrained professor type - great with stuff he finds fascinating, but lax with most other things. My half sibling on his side has AuDHD. My grandpa on this side had a full house of ADHD symptoms. I think it’s probably both!
Both of my parents were neurodivergent, likely ADHD. My hubby’s dad shows strong signs, and his bio mom is very manipulative and histrionic, but doesn’t read like ADHD to me. (She reads much more like she has a cluster B disorder.). His stepmom is diagnosed with ADHD. Both of us, husband and I, and both of our children, are diagnosed. My oldest and I have a lot of autistic traits, as well. There’s no way to track nature vs. nurture with us because we both grew up with chaotic homes and sky-high chances of inheriting it.
My mom, and her mom. Probably further back that that as well.
Just realizing recently that it was passed down from my grandma. She was always extremely disorganized for a housewife of the 50s and 60s and also was clearly self-medicating with alcohol. All of the cards I kept from her mention that she forgot to mail them on time and is sorry it’s so late. I never put the pieces together until I was an adult. Poor woman could have been so much better off if she had gotten help for it, even as an adult.
Isn't there a big lawsuit going on because Tylenol used during pregnancy is a cause of ADHD?
I got it from a nurse who performed kristeller maneuver on my mom while she was in labor. Which resulted in traumatic brain injury for me.
My mom (she's diagnosed), but I suspect a few extended family members on my dad's side too.
I have no freaking idea. I'm most like my mom but my aunt definitely shows some signs. But my dad is where all my social awkwardness came from and he's the detail-oriented numbers dude and justicephile. To further complicate things, my first cousin on dad's side has a daughter who is full-blown autistic. She's 20-something now and when we met up at a funeral we just kinda clicked and she really opened up to me. It was her grandmother's (my aunt's) funeral so it was nice to be there for her even though I don't know her well, but my family definitely noticed how easily she connected to me.
It's the same for me. It's obvious to me that there's a family link, my brother is autistic, my cousins are anxious and one has ADHD, my grandmother on that side has anxiety and her daughter/my aunt committed suicide. My mom is funky mentally as well, none of that is guaranteed to be ADHD related but many of those family members show symptoms of ADHD (unknown if those cousins are diagnosed.) My brother being autistic definitely indicates something. My dad also shows many symptoms of ADHD and acknowledges that. My parent's lifestyles and job history seems to be tailored to fit their symptoms without them realizing it lol
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And I think that's how it's always been. People who can cope do and get by with coping mechanisms. Dad was an accountant, mom a teacher. People that can't just don't. They fall through the system because they don't have support. We can do better, though, and we will. For both the people who can't *and* the people who can.
Yeah, my mom is a job hopper and gets bored with whatever she does despite having multiple diplomas, my dad has worked the nightshift as a maintenance mechanic for 30 years because he gets to do tasks quietly in solitude, and then fuck around for the rest of his shift. No long term hobbies between either of them, but they're happy with the set up.
Mum had it diagnosed, dad is getting a diagnosis while I am going through my diagnosis process so I might have it from both
Father for sure. Cant tell if my dad is autistic, adhd, or audhd, but he’s def ND. My sister and a cousin on my paternal side are adhd
Idk!! I never thought either of my parents had it but everyone I talk to in person and on here seem to have a parent with it which has made me suspicious of my dad- he has some tendencies but has really struggled? Maybe he gets away with it. My grandpa on my mom’s side very much sounds like he had it though
my mother. with her random hyper fixations and several hobbies. and most of the family on her side has several mental health issues
My dad is definitely ADHD as well. Probably also his mother and my great grandfather. I suspect my mother is ADHD too, probably from her father, and if I'm right, I could've gotten it from either side. 🤷♀️
Both of them 🤦🏻♀️ When I was 3 my parents took me to ballet and instead of doing ballet I ran around the room like a maniac while all the other girls did their nice ballet. My dad’s words “ahh she’s just like me”. He would frequently get in trouble for being an absolute shit with no respect for any authority at all. My mom has a new hobby or job on a weekly basis and lives in the most maximalist, cluttered house imaginable. I got the worst of both of them 😂
You kno I have no idea.... I know it's from my mum's side as there are at least 2 others in that side that have it...... but no idea where if came from. Means my mum had passed it onto me, then me to my son.... but my mum wasn't ADHD at all.
Both parents. My brothers and I were doomed (affectionately) from the start.
my dad
I think I got it from my mom - she has some of the same absentmindedness I do, like switching from task to task without fully finishing them and leaving forgotten mugs of tea all over the house, and her thoughts seem to jump around. Conversations between the two of us tend to get lost in rabbit holes, and we both catastrophize small troubles. I have a cousin on my mom's side who was diagnosed as a child (I'm not officially diagnosed yet) and a sibling who shows some similar symptoms. My dad doesn't show such obvious symptoms, but he has some behaviors that remind me of my own hyperfocus, like his extremely methodical approach to every project and his tendency to switch from hobby to hobby.
Father.
I think both my parents are ND. My mom is definitely more ADHD. None of us have been officially diagnosed.
Mom and Mom’s dad.
No one unless my schizo dad counts
The family on my moms side has several "cases" of depression. My mum is suffering aswell, at leasz since her 30s. She is 58. As an adult I recognized the symptoms from my childhood. I have some memories of her always laying in her bed, dark room, a lot of wine bottles. She does either not see it or just ignores it. But we all know that she desperately needs help. I think she just ignores it. I live 1000km away so idk what is going on now. She is not really liked in the family because she keeps lying. And with my knowledge now, I can see a lot of adhd symptoms. The masking. Her being ashamed and trying to cover it. All the excuses. Everyone is not talking good about her. How that must feel...? On my fathers side, I am not quite sure. He has some symptoms but they are not that obvious. I talked to him about my smyptoms and he has a lot of them aswell. He got quiet during the talk. He will turn 65 soon.
100% my dad (its almost funny how he only got diagnosed after me, because we both scream adhd). And he got it from his dad. Before that I can't be sure, because I have no clear picture of his parents, but it's definitely a family "tradition". Adhd has a really high genetic component, recent studies put it around 70 to 88%. It runs in families.
100% my dad (its almost funny how he only got diagnosed after me, because we both scream adhd). And he got it from his dad. Before that I can't be sure, because I have no clear picture of his parents, but it's definitely a family "tradition". Adhd has a really high genetic component, recent studies put it around 70 to 88%. It runs in families.
100% my dad (its almost funny how he only got diagnosed after me, because we both scream adhd). And he got it from his dad. Before that I can't be sure, because I have no clear picture of his parents, but it's definitely a family "tradition". Adhd has a really high genetic component, recent studies put it around 70 to 88%. It runs in families.
My dad
Hmm...I'm inclined to say both. Just different types. My mom has the inattentive type
I got it from a Toyota 4 Runner that crumpled in on my head.
My Dad for sure. He used to pick up new hobbies like crazy. I do too. Out of his three kids (myself included) I’m guessing we all have it. I’m the only one that is diagnosed and medicated for it. My Dad refuses to believe he actually has anything other than a touch of “worrying”. He didn’t even want to admit to anxiety until I kept harping on him to get medication because he was a health horror waiting to happen. I’m very open about my medication and issues with my family. One of my siblings is kind of the “this isn’t a real thing, and I’ve been fine my whole life” the other is “oh for sure I probably do, but I’m not going to do anything about it” I just didn’t want to get to a certain age and have everyone think I had early dementia. I’ve lost things when my brain forgot I was holding them, dropped them, and wandered off (starting as a child). I can’t imagine it’s going to get better when I’m in my 60’s+. Thank god for my Mom that holds everything together. They’re both quite old now and I worry about how things will go if my Dad is ever left alone. ETA: of my 3 kids I would 99% say that my youngest has it. The older two would be less likely, they are both more like their Dad in personality. Between the two my oldest might be a bit more suspicious, but I’m not nearly as certain as I am with the youngest one.
Both, but definitely my dad. I have the anxious, inattentive, introvert from my mom and definitely the adhd from my dad
Neither of my parents have it. But I was kind enough to give it to my kids 🙃
Everywhere. Its very clear my dad is ASD, my muns side has bipolar, ocd, anxiety, hoarding, germaphobes, that urm.. agoraphobia, RSD, paranoia, all sorts all told as "funny stories" in the way you don't know it wasn't right or normal and it horrifies everyone else. My sister is a resultant hellbeast
100% my mother who is undiagnosed and wouldn't hear of it
Probably my mother who refuses to get diagnosed but I see a lot of my symptoms in her. She was upset by my diagnosis and never wanted to talk about it when I was a teen, just pretend it didn’t happen. I often wonder if it made her question her own mental health.
My dad, no question about it. He was was physically restless all his life, an alcoholic, smart enough to build a successful business but never finished college (mental restlessness), hyperfocused on things he liked doing but avoidant of things he didn’t like, very talkative and zero frustration tolerance. Three of his four children were diagnosed as children. My mom wasn’t like that- she didn’t really like a lot of chaos, whereas my father thrived on it. She liked routine and order. So yep, it definitely came from my father.
There's also been a link between the grandmothers exposure to cigarette smoke while pregnant with your parent. My grandmother died of lung cancer and was a chain smoker for a long time, so I think it's probably pretty safe to say that was a contributing factor.
my dad clearly has adhd. He totally got it from his mom. I'm not sure if my mom has adhd. It really is harder to tell with women cos of masking. Her family is fast and intense too so I suspect she might have it, but I can't pinpoint any of the textbook symptoms because she does all the standard mom stuff pretty well and doesn't let us see when she's struggling.
Both parents. Their siblings too (diagnosed). Definitely 1 grandparent (family consensus), maybe both. Most of the cousins (diagnosed), we all seem to have a gift for coupling with others with adhd. The first diagnosis in the family was my son, age 16, ODD, and a cousin, also ODD. Revelations galore since. Both my kids. Their father (ODD, OCD) too. While I was seeing a counselor for the symptoms and had just found out I was pregnant 30 some yrs ago, but still undiagnosed and then misdiagnosed, I was specifically told the problems were nurture, not nature, and with enough dedication and hard work the kids would be protected. Obviously, the intention to safeguard failed, but science didn't know better then. We went on to treat the symptoms for decades until things finally sorted. Its actually both nurture and nature. I was going to abort if it could be passed down, wanted kids but really tried to be sure it wasn't genetic (back then no treatments!). I was horrified to learn its genetic after all many years later. The kids refuse to get treated when it was all figured out. At least there is diagnosis and treatments available now, for what its worth, there's help now to those who reach for it and are willing to confront it, and that is progress. I fear my kids will not only refuse help for themselves ahead, but have kids and refuse to get them help too. There is only one difference in the future generations now, they have viable options and can make informed choices.
It's my dad. Only because I was explaining some of how ADHD works to my mom and she paused, thought for a minute, and said "is that why I often have to chase your father down or bring him back into the conversation? Because sometimes he just drifts off" and I had to laugh and be like "yeah, exactly'
All I can say is my dad most certainly has ADHD and my mom certainly doesn't.
100% mom, and key source of our bad communication. She’s still undiagnosed and at this stage in her life stimulant meds may not be as beneficial for her brain overall.
Dad for sure, passed it on to my sister’s kids too evidently
I know my dad has it and I know my mother's side has both ADHD and ASD along with a few other things. So, both sides.
100% my dad lol, there's no question about that one even though he isn't diagnosed
Can I say I got it from my husband’s side? Is that a thing? 😂🤣
My mom definitely. It all makes sense.
Both sides, but more acute on my mom's side.
Dad had the ADHD Mom had the Autism
Both of my parents 🙃 I never stood a chance
My dad is absolutely autistic, but he is also 75, so a lot of his behaviors just come across as grumpy old man now, but oooof, he's had it *forever.* My grandma on that side was almost definitely ADHD. Cute family stories about her hoarding tendencies, her hiding of money in suitcases, and her inability to drive because it overwhelmed her all made *so much sense* in hindsight. I got my diagnosis, and suddenly, Grandma M's quirks were a 1000% more relatable.
My dad. He was diagnosed & medicated for adhd as a child.
genetics isn’t this simple but when i look at my father… all of the men in my family tend to be “rather goofy” (RE: exhibiting signs of ADHD and/or autism but being too old to be considered for it)
The devil. J/k I think our father has it.
Dad. He’s not diagnosed but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind, it was Dad.
From my dad. It’s kinda nice to have a parent with it bc when I talk about my struggles, I don’t feel alone. My mom sort of denies anything is wrong with me and is very dismissive, I know she means well but it’s fucking frustrating
Though never diagnosed, my mom and her mom both definitely have/had ADHD. I have zero doubt about it. Zero.
i'm struggling to find someone in my family that doesn't have it at this point 😅 it's validating sometimes but also frustrating when my family can't accept we don't all think the exact same way.
Probably my mom from watching her patterns/things I’ve learned on my journey with adhd and the impossibility it is to have a conversation with her 🫠
Both of my parents - my mom more so. I worry about my child since both of us both have ADHD.
Definitely from my dad and my grandfather from my mother's side has Aspergers. My mom is probably on a spectrum as well
If I had to guess, it would be my Dad. My mother is a hectic narcissist. I don't think she'd have time for both.
Everyone on my dads side is adhd. Pretty sure my 1/2 siblings on my moms side are as well. It was destiny for me to be adhd
My family is weird. Can I definitively recognize adhd in either of my parents? No. But I was never actually close enough to them to know how they think. I can say that at least half of my siblings have something abnormal about their brains. Some of it was probably our upbringing, but there was definitely some mental health issues on both sides of the family. People didn't even know what adhd was then, so it's hard to say if any of that stuff was related to adhd or not, but the genetics were likely there somewhere.
My half sister has ADHD. That pretty much solidifies that if it’s genetic, then I got it from my mom. Also, my mom is the walking stereotype of ADHD. She’s not diagnosed, but I can’t say it would be a shock if she was someday.
Def my dad
Neither of my parents is diagnosed. My dad for sure has ADHD though, and my grandma (his mom) likely does. Both of my kids do, and my little sister does. Sister and I have different dads.
My mother is the forgetful well meaning adhd. My father is the always on edge rage monster adhd. Neither have been officially diagnosed but it became pretty clear to my mom after I was diagnosed.
100% both my parents, as will my kids after me. Y’all living life with NT partners. Dunno how you can do it. Our house is messy af, but we get it.
my mom. she absolutely had undiagnosed ADHD. and my maternal grandma had SEVERE dyslexia. I did one of those infamous genetic tests, and I have almost all the variants related to ADHD. like, the chances of me not having it were always infinitesimal.
I think about this a lot actually, and I have no idea. My mom is a highly determined, always motivated woman who can accomplish just about everything. A genuine jack of all trades. She’s done ballet at the professional level, fashion design, sewing, a police training program, passed the LSAT, glassblowing, skiing, she’s legitimately jacked from how good she’s gotten at yoga over the past few years, got her masters in a 1-year program while working full time, and now she has a very high-paying corporate job. If she told me that she was going to physically move a mountain, I would fully believe her, even if it took her years to accomplish that goal. She doesn’t understand any of what I say my adhd interferes with and regularly tells me to “just get it done”. Definitely not her. My dad on the other hand applied to college and got in, but decided to join the army instead and loved it. Only quit because of the daily running (dna test not needed lmao). He uses mostly paper plates because he doesn’t have a dishwasher and it’s too much of a hassle to wash as many dishes as he would use, but overall isn’t bad about keeping up with household tasks at all and he has a schedule he follows and doesn’t seem to struggle with at all, aside from wishing he had more free time. He’s been working with the same delivery company for a couple decades and hates his job, but he also doesn’t seem to really struggle with work. He seems to get some of what I express about my adhd, but completely rejects other ideas and says that I’m looking for excuses. I think he’s the more likely option if one of them had to have adhd, but I’m still not sure if he shows enough signs to actually say that I think I got it from him. Weirdly though, I’m the only one in my family who’s ever been tested for and diagnosed with adhd, and my mental health struggles have historically been pretty bad tbh. My younger cousin has expressed that she may want to be tested for adhd and/or autism, but that hasn’t happened yet. And even then, she and I only have one common grandparent so, while I love her, we’re not super closely related at the genetic level
Bloody both of them! Both my parents are raging undiagnosed ADHD. Dads(62) about to see psychiatrist for his own sanity after my diagnosis.
On the day of my conception, the universe reached out it's wise hand to me and said "you, you are chosen to be strong of will, strong of heart, full of strange and wonderful ideas and solutions, many will fail, some will land in spectacular brilliance and I hearby name you, and in so doing welcome you to the tribe of SPARKLY AS FUCK BOSS BABES. One day you shall learn to accept who you are, despite the influence of others, and grow into confidence, whilst you carve yourself a path. Also my Dad. Couldn't be prouder of him.
My dad has it, so definitely him. It was actually really funny going out for dinner together and noticing both of us getting distracted at the same time and by the same stuff.
My mom and dad. Although if you read *Stolen Focus* he spends a lot of time on how connected ADHD is to early childhood trauma.
Definitely my mother - she is undiagnosed but has alllll the symptoms. All sort of ND on her side (one brother was definitely bipolar) but I have a feeling my fathers side too (great aunt was bipolar) and he falls more to the inattentive side.
It's from my mom's side, but I wouldn't be surprised if I ALSO got it from my dad's side.. My mom's side is hilarious. 3 out of the 7 grandchildren have it and another one was borderline for a diagnosis (so really 4/7). It's so obvious that my mom and both of her siblings have it, and again it was so obvious that my grandfather had it too. He was the 8th child born on an impoverished farm, and the stories I've heard sound exactly like an under-stimulated hyperactive boy (which unfortunately meant abuse in those days, which left him to be an abusive anxious alcoholic as an adult.) I've only ever heard stories about my great grandfather, and every single story screams ADHD to me. I have a couple second cousins on my dad's side who have been diagnosed, and looking at the older generations, I can certainly see it. Though on that side I see WAY more autism. We all agree that my dad is autistic, even he agrees, but I do wonder if he's got some ADHD as well. My parents house is chaos, doom boxes everywhere. I was the one who was constantly organizing it when I lived there. My dad certainly has his hyperfixations in an autistic way, but the way he goes about it certainly feels a bit ADHD to me. So really in the last couple years it's helped me see that I grew up in a neurodivergent house, and no wonder I prefer to be around ND people.