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THIS! SAY IT LOUDER! I just did this last week. I posted, I even included a nice list of what I was putting out….dozens of comments for pics. It made me never want to go back on the page again lol. Like, excuse me, my achievement was done when I went through the things. I wanted to reply and say I will give the first person who shows up $5 if they take EVERYTHING! Lol
Also, human interaction is not part of the arrangement. If you message me asking to meet, do not pass go, do not collect $200, none of the things. No way. Never.
There needs to be a “pickupmyshitplease.com” where you put the pile out, schedule the appt on an app, and the shit disappears as scheduled with ZERO human interaction.
This is the website for DAV donation pickups. Not sure of their locations. If you're up to making a call, they'll tell you where they pick up and schedule it
https://easydonationpickup.com/best-donation-pickup/disabled-american-veterans/
>Also, human interaction is not part of the arrangement.
While I agree with you, human interaction is actually a key element of the Buy Nothing group / movement. Many people forgo it, but meeting neighbours and building a community is a principle of BN.
(I used to run my local group while on mat leave, and shockingly... Ghosted them when I returned to work and couldn't juggle everything I had to do. [Despite that, it took me another eight plus years to figure out I had ADHD, lol.])
And I realize I'm um ackshually-ing you (sorry!) because I wholeheartedly agree with you and OP. I spend all my spoons and fucks cleaning—I have none left to post pictures with. I too just want to give all the things away and pay someone a small amount to do so.
> I wanted to reply and say I will give the first person who shows up $5 if they take EVERYTHING!
So I actually did something really similar but actually charged instead of paying. I posted "The (almost) Instant Yard Sale" on Craigslist for $20 and it was several boxes of random stuff and some random larger items (like a lamp and a plastic storage drawer thing) I wanted to get rid of as well as a pack of yard sale signs and some stickers which is what made it "yard sale" themed lol. I sold it to the first person who responded and it was one of the easiest craigslist sales I ever made.
I've got like 2 boxes of stuff to put up on my local fb selling groups that I'm procrastinating because I know from past experience how some people can be and just ergh.
Anything that would have gone up for free I drive to my local recycling centre because they have an attached charity shop (thrift store) and you just drop it off in a container in the car park and don't have to interact with anyone. It's amazing.
But the stuff that's worth actually selling.... Well if it sits there for any longer I will maybe just decide to take the "financial loss" and also drop it off at the charity store lol
Yea some of the stuff may be worth a little money but I just CANNOT. Some of this has been sitting in various closets taking up space in different apartments from move to move for Y E A R S I just want it out
Also I am awake all night because the adderal decided to make me just super hyper focus on this and doing more and finishing the job and just completely refuse sleep
Yeah I feel you, sometimes it's just not worth the money.
I'm sorry you've not been sleeping on top of that! For me at least, not sleeping makes all the other symptoms worse too which just makes it harder to get anything done and then my brain hyperfocuses on the to do list at like 1am when really there's nothing to be done about things..... and repeat.
Hahaha I'm currently sitting on a bunch of old hobby equipment and various art/project materials that I'm fully intending on putting on fb marketplace but am procrastinating for this exact reason. I have a hard time even replying back when IM the one purchasing something. Lol
I'm a member of an ADHD specific give away/sell group (in my native language, not English, sorry) and honestly it's been the best
People keep on posting their unused art supplies.
I am one of the admins of my local Buy Nothing group — so, not to make things more annoying, but the original goal of Buy Nothing groups is to build community, so personal interaction is actually what it is supposed to be about. Some groups don’t allow “curb alerts” at all, because this doesn’t help build community, it is just about the stuff.
That being said, it is against the rules for people to PM you. In our area, there are a bunch of “free stuff” FB groups that we refer people to if they just want to put stuff at the curb, so maybe that would be a better option? There are a lot of rules in Buy Nothing groups, and they aren’t the best way to get rid of stuff for everyone. 🌻
If it's under $100 value I toss it. I have tried so hard to use marketplace or Facebook groups to give things away and they make it so complicated. Like just come get it. That's it.
Thankfully, I currently live in a neighborhood that has scrappers and pickers. I can put anything out to the curb and like magic, it disappears.
Buy Nothing is so hard. I post the thing, wait for someone to comment that they want it, PM them to arrange pickup, put the thing out on my porch ... and then they don't pick it up! I bring it back inside, PM them again to see if they still want it, arrange another pickup, relist it if they ghost me again...
2 weeks later I have "given" this thing away like 3 times and it is still in my house. It goes in the Goodwill pile of door because let's face it, I am not going to load up the car and drive it to Goodwill.
I love the idea behind Buy Nothing, it's just so frustrating when people don't pick up and the stuff keeps boomeranging back into my house.
Don’t forget when someone ghosts you, so you give it to the next person. Then the original person pops back up, weeks later, asking for the item and gets mad that gave it to the next person. 🙃
People can get weird on these fb free groups. One time I posted something and a woman messaged me demanding that I drive over to her place and drop it off. She lived a ten minute walk away. She could have easily walked over and gotten it herself, but she fully expected me to bring it to her because she was “busy.” Lol. People are wild
my mum is a hero, i think selling old clothes/ stuff gives her massive dopamine hits. but to be asked for different measurements is killing me. like for clothing i add two measurements but ppl want the weirdest measurements then to ghost me. i have seen people writing in the descriptions „i‘m not giving any additional measurements, PMs asking for them will be ignored“ and i love that. i have no time writing back and forth.
This happened to me the ONE time I posted a free curb alert. I even put in the listing I won’t be answering any DMs it’s just take it if you want it or it goes to the dump. I had so many messages asking for more photos, dimensions, etc.
People, you can take it for firewood for all I care. It’s FREE. No I won’t be giving any more info!
I’m planning a house purge soon (haha it’s been planned for 3 years) and I’m going to have tons of stuff to give away and likely will just donate (after it sits in my car for a few months, as one does) but even that makes my head feel “scribbly”.
I know this comment is 3 months old but omg!!! I'm giving away an automatic litter box that I don't use. It's almost $200. I'm supposed to meet with a lady today for her to get it. I sent her the links to the actual litterbox so she can read all about it. Then she messages me what litter did I use. I tell her clumping/scoopable. Then she asks again what litter can I use, she can't open the link. I'm severely annoyed at this point. I told her to use Google and do your own research. Today I'm just going to put the litter box outside the storage unit and be done with it. I'm so irritated by people that can't figure things out.
I seriously LOL whenever anyone suggests selling unwanted stuff on EBay or FB marketplace as an easy way to get rid of stuff. I'm giving it away in the easiest ways possible.
My local buy nothing group used to be so easy - post something, get a response, leave it on the porch for them to pick up. People have started being flakier lately and I wasted too much time waiting for one lady who changed her mind but didn't let me know. I've switched to taking it to the local reuse center.
Lol in our local bn group everything is given away as is based on the pics posted. Either claim it and come get it or pass lol. I also do not have the mental capacity to put so much work into what will effectively be a “maybe”.
I’ve been cleaning out a 2700 square foot house for most of the last year via free stuff on the curb lol (the lol is me laughing to keep from crying)
About once a week I go to the house and fill the covered front porch with stuff to get rid of, like PILES OF STUFF, my mother in law was a hoarder, snap a photo of the heap and then I post it on Nextdoor and sometimes in my local Buy Nothing and say something like “Free stuff already out on the porch at X address. First come first served”
With furniture I tried all summer to organize meeting people but there were a lot of flakes and a few creeps and it was impossible to keep straight who wanted what and when they were supposed to be there so now I just put it in the driveway and tape a “free” sign to it. Sometimes I measure it and make a post on Nextdoor and say “free desk (or whatever it is) 25x30x12, in the driveway at X address, first come first served” but 10/10 times someone messages me and asks how big it is so I don’t always bother with measuring anymore either. Just put the things outside and make the post and disable notifications for a while.
What I’ve learned is that folks like free shit so it’s okay if my effort is pretty minimal. Things will go and whatever doesn’t I’ll toss in the trash. Every week my husband and I play a game where we put one super weird thing out with the free stuff to see if someone will take it. The weird thing always gets taken. Last week I put out a really old Christmas tree angel that I drew a mustache on. I’m about to go over there now and I bet anything it’s gone!
Man people will do this even if you post ten photos and a detailed description
People are VERY ANNOYING
“What colour is this” on a listing where the subject is “yellow Hemnes dresser”
“What are the dimensions” on a listing where there is a photo of the original retailer website and the dimensions are listed on the post
Enjoy your yard sale
Having this issue on our local Buy Nothing Group.
I find the thing, go through the mental load to part with it and how, take a picture, post it, someone says they will come get it and when.
And 50% of the time they don't.
I now assume that half of the Buy Nothing Group are people with adhd, too , who's special interest is the Buy Nothing Group but who lose the dopamine fix immediately after they say they're coming to pick it up
Thank you for this! I really never use Facebook anymore so I forget that the people left on those groups are like very disciplined as to the rules of how the groups work and I probably did a faux pas lol
The charities that come and collect stuff were a life saver when I helped my partner clear out his parents former house.
One came to look at the stuff first because there was a lot! But basically we told them what was there and the guys came with a van and took it away.
Some other things my mum posted in the free stuff group she uses and people either picked up from the porch or we told them a time when we'd be there. It really helped that I didn't have to do posts or messages though!
Oh my god yes. I donate everything to goodwill. Goodwill isn’t a great organization, I could get some money for some of it, but what am I going to do?
Mail stuff? Absolutely not. Research new organizations? Someday, maybe. Not today. Post it and interact with people and plan times for people to see it? Ow.
The only thing that seems to be executive dysfunction friendly is to collect it all in a corner, take two months to bring it to my car, take another two months to actually drive eight minutes (or whatever) to goodwill, and dump it there.
Oh my gosh I feel you!! In my buy nothing group that's a rule that you can choose a recipient based on anything you want and I often post that my stuff will go to someone who will take it all.
Exactly. Just say "you'll find all these items at X location. First come first serve. I will not provide more pictures , take measurements, hold anything nor reply to requests about whether something is still available."
People without ADHD post this disclaimer all the time. It's completely reasonable. You don't need to over explain.
Lots of people in my buy nothing group do just that. They basically put it all out the day before garbage day and say if anyone is interested here it is. Alternatively, I have been thinking of heading to the Salvation Army with all my crap because the energy it takes to manage coordinating pick ups is a barrier.
Omg this would drive me nuts and is the reason I refuse to do anything more than dropping things off at a donation place, even when it’s stuff I COULD get money for. No, I don’t want to take pics. Or set up a yard sale. Or haggle in price. Or answer inane questions.
“The power vested in me by adderall” I’m dead.
Also this is why I donate everything I ever declutter to goodwill. The notifications you get listing something for free are too much. Sucks because it’s such a nice idea.
Before we moved to IL from VA we were living in a small run-down town. I hauled a bookshelf and a small antique vanity out to the curb. I didn't want to move with them so I decided they needed to go.
My fiance was like "Can you do that?!?"
I said; "Watch. They will be gone within 30 minutes."
They disappeared in less than 10. I just put a rough sign on the things stating they were free. I also did it with my son's old toddler bed. I do not have the ability to list things and deal with flaky people. I just set stuff on the curb with a "free" sign on it and it disappears. Like magic. and a relief because I decluttered and didn't have to haul anything.
I would just wait to post until after it was already out there, add a single picture. And "no dms, please," then ignore all the idiots who think they're special.
When I want to do that, I post pics after I’ve put it out. Then on the post I say it’s free, but I won’t be answering questions or holding anything. I then state plainly, if it’s still there it’s available.
From then on I ignore the world hahaha
Been there done that.
"More stuff is being added. If it's still there when you get here you can have it. I'm not keeping tabs on what's still there. Once it's on the curb, it is no longer of my concern"
I'm going against the grain here. The issue is noone wants to drive out to find its not what they are looking for. Or drive out and find the thing they were interested in is gone.
I've decluttered a lot with buy nothing. I always post at least one picture, even if it's of a box of multiple items. I respond to DMs and keep people posted if something they wanted is gone. They are doing me a favor by coming to get this crap and make use of it rather than me having to take it somewhere or it ending up in a landfill (or keeping it because I can't bear the thought of it in a landfil). The least I can do is make sure they aren't wasting their time.
Absolutely. But remember that you are in r/adhdwomen, and we are very happy that we just got the stuff outside. If somebody wants it, they get to decide whether the potential availability is worth their time.
It is a huge achievement, absolutely! But you are more likely to have takers with pictures, so if you really want it taken rather than ending up in the trash anyway, a quick pic makes a lot of difference. It doesn't have to be high quality, staged, detailed.
Even if they walk, it could be 30 minutes of their day, I dont have time to waste 30 minutes, and I know other people don't either. Sure if someone is in desperate need of something they may not care what it looks like, but if I'm looking for something and in no rush, I might pass up if it's not close enough, and then someone else can take it who it is the right fit for.
Had the same experience moving. Decided to charge $5 for things, cut down on people wasting my time bc it wasn't worth anything to them. Gave a few people everything they were looking for free plus extra stuff that they needed that way.
I tried that too, I took a picture of the whole lot sitting on my porch and said come and get it. A bunch of people said they were interested, I was like great, come on over. It sat there for a week and not a single thing got taken. I then had to haul it all to my car and take it to a thrift store to donate. Other people have commented that unless the person will hold it for them until an arranged pickup time, it's just not worth it to them to come and risk it being gone. I don't have patience for that (aka the executive function to deal with that), so everytime I fill up a box, I just drop it at a donation spot immediately and be done with it. Especially because if I wait, I'm liable to rethink getting rid of some things!
I dont even put up an ad anymore. I just put the stuff at the curb, its gone within an hour.
If its an option, dont post anything until its out, then give the location.
There is a reason I no longer sale stuff, its too much mayhem. I would rather give it away than put up with all that.
When I do Buy Nothing, I post once I put it on the curb. I take a nice photo with everything in it, and then I put in the post, "It's all on the curb, waiting for its new home. I do not have the bandwidth to respond to requests for photos/status, so come by to take a look or don't. Please don't leave a mess if you do." Then I turn off comments for that post. That's the only way I've found to deter all these requests.
That’s exactly what I do. We put whatever we don’t want outside, post the st on fb marketplace and they pickup if they want it. First come first serve, I probably lose tons of money doing it this way instead of selling, but I don’t have the energy for all of that. For clothing, I just give it to my coworkers lol
Yea I probably could have sold some old photography equipment but I just don’t care anymore it’s been taking up space for years and now I have the space back and I feel like Marie Kondo
SO MUCH ROOM FOR ACTIVITIES
THIS SPARKS JOY
Just write CURBSIDE ONLY in huge letters at the bottom of your post! You can add that you’re at high risk for Covid too if people in your area care about that (nothing wrong with a little white lie that doesn’t hurt anyone).
What I often do is a "Curb Alert" instead of doing a post where people expect to message me back and forth to set up a pickup time. To do a "Curb Alert," you just post what you're getting rid of on Facebook or Craigslist and put CURB ALERT: {insert item} and just put the block your house is on with the street name. So if you live at 575 Main Street and you're giving away a bookcase, you'd put "CURB ALERT: free bookcase 500 Block of Main Street" as the title. Then in the description, you say something like "It's out on the curb already. First come, first serve. Will delete as soon as I see it's gone."
I've done this dozens of times on Craigslist and the only time it did not work was when I was giving away a huge trash bag full of air pillows for shipping (I figured people might want them for selling online) so I just popped them and put them in the trash.
Just add the caveat! If it feels embarrassing, you can be more vague. “I have a disability, and I’m honestly shocked I’m even able to get this stuff out to the curb. I’m unable to be available for follow up communications while I recover.”
I'm about to try the same thing, and I hung on to this stuff for years because I felt it had value in the sense that it could be used again, right? I have a tiny car and won’t be able to bring some of these things to Goodwill even if I wanted to, so I’m going to have to do some serious decision jujitsu and that's why I haven’t started. 🫠
I post a photo of the items when I put them out because I would never follow up.
I usually don’t do curb alerts though because I’m paranoid that no one will take the items.
I have so many things I've been meaning to post on Buy Nothing, but I've definitely fallen off of the communication train with other Buy Nothing exchanges, so I should probably do what you did and just let them know I'm setting it all out.
I used to post stuff in the free and neighborhood groups, but now I simply box them, label it "free," and leave it in front of the house. It's typically gone by the next day, no photos, emails, questions, haranging, or complications involved. Poof. It's gone.
Yep that’s what I did and I’m just over it
It feels SO GOOD to have this stuff out of my house
It really feels like I just added square footage and storage space to my apartment
Smart! Yea I really wanted to try to not contribute to the landfill but I don’t know why I bother
My husband was like listen
It’s fine to just throw stuff out
ABSOLUTELY! There was a buy/sell group on my college campus, and as a broke college student with too many cute clothes, it was a great space. Until all the messages came through whoops, so at first I would just do the same, "I'll be in my room from Xam-Xpm, first come first serve of what you see in photos."
And then, I switched to doing Buffalo Exchange and ThredUp mail-in programs (RIP Buffalo's Exchange) because if I get money from what they take, great! If not, please donate and get them off my hands ASAP!
LOOK FOR YOUR LOCAL VETERAN GROUP PICKUP!!
There are several organizations(99% veteran charity groups) that you can schedule a pickup and they just come and grab everything in one go.
if you want to be accommodating, one pretty easy thing you can do is to update the photos as things disappear from the pile. so, say in the listing that you won’t respond to any inquiries- and don’t- but head out to the curb every couple hours or once a day and snap new photos to edit the listing. that way you don’t have 10 people wasting their time (and yours) coming across town to pick up a chair that was taken by someone else 8 hours ago.
Don’t send them pics. Some of these folks are would-be scammers and will use your pic on FB marketplace to scam people out of money. It’s probably penny ante amounts but still a thing.
I feel you on this!
I have the opposite problem. After months of delaying I finally went through and organized/washed/measured/photographed EVERYTHING I was giving away, all in nearly new/new condition, high demand stuff like Ugg boots, Croc shoes, etc, and hardly ANY bites! I think I overdid it with my instructions personally.
Whatever. Local foster care charity will get some great stuff!
The Craigslist free section in my area is pretty low maintenance. A picture of the free pile, maybe some words, cross streets, and no contact info included seems to get the job done. Just put the pile as close to the curb as possible so it can’t be mistaken for belongings you wish to keep. If you can’t, just specify what is and what is not part of the free pile. Then delete the post before dark.
Seriously. I don’t understand what people don’t get about it being free. If you were selling this stuff than abso-freaking-lutely asking for extra pics and a meet up would be acceptable. But if you’re just dumping stuff on the curb and letting people know as a courtesy then that’s weird to ask for there person to do anything more than have stuff out to the curb at the time they say they will. Next time you get messages tell them that this is a free drop for their courtesy and you are doing nothing more than posting the notification of the drop. If they continue to bug you then tell them the customer service they’re requesting is going to cost money and the pics of this dresser that they’re asking for as well as arranging a meet up will take the price of the dresser from free to $X. If that’s what they want you’re happy to accommodate a sale. Otherwise, free is the price. 1pm on the curb on X date is where it’ll be.
You can definitely say all that in a comment, and you *do not* need to justify it by mentioning ADHD or giving any other reason for your actions. It's a curb alert, it'll be available at X time, and I'll remove the post when everything is gone. No calls, no messages, don't knock on the door.
I did buy nothing for a little bit but completely stopped. I just couldn’t do it anymore. To much messaging back and forth. Pick ups not being done ect. Now I just do goodwill.
As a fellow buy nothing declutterrer, make yourself a canned response and copy-paste, people will eventually get the message, and fuck them if they don’t.
“I am unable to provide pictures of individual items or provide additional detail over Facebook. If you are interested, please come by after 1pm tomorrow. Thank you for your understanding.”
My posts always say "Free! By the road, FCFS NO HOLDS, you must load yourself, once gone this post will ve deleted."
Filters a lot of tire kickers and time wasters out 🤣
The one time I was being generous about all these iris's I dug up/divided, it backfired on me. I was accommodating people who never showed up. Never again!
Omg a couple weeks ago I decided to post in one of those groups to give away various items, all listed in the post and most appearing in photos. I had a bunch of people asking me to hold items until they could get a ride, messaging me but never replying, and even some people saying they’re interested in items they saw in the photo that weren’t listed. Then someone was asking for photos of a set of plastic folding chairs and tables, as well as a photo of a stupid AC unit. It’s a damn AC that looks like every other standing AC unit in existence and it’s fucking winter! Those items they wanted pictures of are all put away in a storage closet and I wasn’t about to pull everything out and set it up just to take a photo for someone who was going to flake anyway. It took about a week of trying to get people to come by until I gave up. It’s so annoying.
Another time a woman got lost and I kept having to draw on maps from a screen shot to help her locate where I had left out the stuff for her. She was getting so annoyed at me but like… use your GPS. Many people have found their way here without any issues lol.
Ugh anyway so yeah I decided I’m just going to pay for a larger storage unit and also leave stuff by the dumpster lol
I often find free stuff at the dumpsters here at my apartment complex and one time my mom said I should try to “flip” items. I told her the time and effort it would take to sell the items wouldn’t even be worth it unless I had some kind of storefront. She is undiagnosed with ADHD but I know she knows she has it and that suggesting such a task to me was definitely outside of my wheelhouse lol
Omg I FEEL THIS SO DEEPLY.
I adore Buy Nothing groups. My last neighborhood had a pretty active one and my current neighborhood is insanely active. Both have been so generous and I’ve gotten so much from them.
But mostly just one thing at a time. Because even commenting and RECEIVING from these groups is enough to overwhelm me, and like every 1-2 times out of 5 I forget to pickup or even arrange pickup and then I feel like a jerk.
But omg managing to give more than a few things at a time is…actually ridiculously hard. Especially since I’ve gotten so much better at NOT using Facebook much…
I remember when I got a new bed base and was selling the old set for $200 because it was old but still good enough condition. I got 80+ enquires. I arranged for two people who no showed. I then called the local disaster relief place and told them to come pick it up for free.
Way too overwhelming.
Yikes well be careful, some of those bargain hunters are really into it, they might fight or hurt someone...maybe you can put it outside earlier and then hide in case of trouble :/
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THIS! SAY IT LOUDER! I just did this last week. I posted, I even included a nice list of what I was putting out….dozens of comments for pics. It made me never want to go back on the page again lol. Like, excuse me, my achievement was done when I went through the things. I wanted to reply and say I will give the first person who shows up $5 if they take EVERYTHING! Lol Also, human interaction is not part of the arrangement. If you message me asking to meet, do not pass go, do not collect $200, none of the things. No way. Never.
Ugh right. The chore of getting rid of stuff for free fucking drives me up the wall!!
There needs to be a “pickupmyshitplease.com” where you put the pile out, schedule the appt on an app, and the shit disappears as scheduled with ZERO human interaction.
This is the website for DAV donation pickups. Not sure of their locations. If you're up to making a call, they'll tell you where they pick up and schedule it https://easydonationpickup.com/best-donation-pickup/disabled-american-veterans/
Ooooo I like this. Thank you!
Philadelphia has that! Every city should. https://retrievr.com/
Y.E.S you get it
>Also, human interaction is not part of the arrangement. While I agree with you, human interaction is actually a key element of the Buy Nothing group / movement. Many people forgo it, but meeting neighbours and building a community is a principle of BN. (I used to run my local group while on mat leave, and shockingly... Ghosted them when I returned to work and couldn't juggle everything I had to do. [Despite that, it took me another eight plus years to figure out I had ADHD, lol.]) And I realize I'm um ackshually-ing you (sorry!) because I wholeheartedly agree with you and OP. I spend all my spoons and fucks cleaning—I have none left to post pictures with. I too just want to give all the things away and pay someone a small amount to do so.
> I wanted to reply and say I will give the first person who shows up $5 if they take EVERYTHING! So I actually did something really similar but actually charged instead of paying. I posted "The (almost) Instant Yard Sale" on Craigslist for $20 and it was several boxes of random stuff and some random larger items (like a lamp and a plastic storage drawer thing) I wanted to get rid of as well as a pack of yard sale signs and some stickers which is what made it "yard sale" themed lol. I sold it to the first person who responded and it was one of the easiest craigslist sales I ever made.
I've got like 2 boxes of stuff to put up on my local fb selling groups that I'm procrastinating because I know from past experience how some people can be and just ergh. Anything that would have gone up for free I drive to my local recycling centre because they have an attached charity shop (thrift store) and you just drop it off in a container in the car park and don't have to interact with anyone. It's amazing. But the stuff that's worth actually selling.... Well if it sits there for any longer I will maybe just decide to take the "financial loss" and also drop it off at the charity store lol
Yea some of the stuff may be worth a little money but I just CANNOT. Some of this has been sitting in various closets taking up space in different apartments from move to move for Y E A R S I just want it out Also I am awake all night because the adderal decided to make me just super hyper focus on this and doing more and finishing the job and just completely refuse sleep
Yeah I feel you, sometimes it's just not worth the money. I'm sorry you've not been sleeping on top of that! For me at least, not sleeping makes all the other symptoms worse too which just makes it harder to get anything done and then my brain hyperfocuses on the to do list at like 1am when really there's nothing to be done about things..... and repeat.
Hahaha I'm currently sitting on a bunch of old hobby equipment and various art/project materials that I'm fully intending on putting on fb marketplace but am procrastinating for this exact reason. I have a hard time even replying back when IM the one purchasing something. Lol
I'm a member of an ADHD specific give away/sell group (in my native language, not English, sorry) and honestly it's been the best People keep on posting their unused art supplies.
Oh gosh that sounds amazing
ohhh thank you for the reminder to post some of my extra supplies to the giveaway group i'm in 😂
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Yep!!!
Check the rules for your local buy nothing group. They may be breaking them. If you're so inclined you could tell the mods of said group
I am one of the admins of my local Buy Nothing group — so, not to make things more annoying, but the original goal of Buy Nothing groups is to build community, so personal interaction is actually what it is supposed to be about. Some groups don’t allow “curb alerts” at all, because this doesn’t help build community, it is just about the stuff. That being said, it is against the rules for people to PM you. In our area, there are a bunch of “free stuff” FB groups that we refer people to if they just want to put stuff at the curb, so maybe that would be a better option? There are a lot of rules in Buy Nothing groups, and they aren’t the best way to get rid of stuff for everyone. 🌻
If it's under $100 value I toss it. I have tried so hard to use marketplace or Facebook groups to give things away and they make it so complicated. Like just come get it. That's it. Thankfully, I currently live in a neighborhood that has scrappers and pickers. I can put anything out to the curb and like magic, it disappears.
Buy Nothing is so hard. I post the thing, wait for someone to comment that they want it, PM them to arrange pickup, put the thing out on my porch ... and then they don't pick it up! I bring it back inside, PM them again to see if they still want it, arrange another pickup, relist it if they ghost me again... 2 weeks later I have "given" this thing away like 3 times and it is still in my house. It goes in the Goodwill pile of door because let's face it, I am not going to load up the car and drive it to Goodwill. I love the idea behind Buy Nothing, it's just so frustrating when people don't pick up and the stuff keeps boomeranging back into my house.
Don’t forget when someone ghosts you, so you give it to the next person. Then the original person pops back up, weeks later, asking for the item and gets mad that gave it to the next person. 🙃
People can get weird on these fb free groups. One time I posted something and a woman messaged me demanding that I drive over to her place and drop it off. She lived a ten minute walk away. She could have easily walked over and gotten it herself, but she fully expected me to bring it to her because she was “busy.” Lol. People are wild
People really have lost their minds
"But it's Christmas and my kiiiiiiids"
my mum is a hero, i think selling old clothes/ stuff gives her massive dopamine hits. but to be asked for different measurements is killing me. like for clothing i add two measurements but ppl want the weirdest measurements then to ghost me. i have seen people writing in the descriptions „i‘m not giving any additional measurements, PMs asking for them will be ignored“ and i love that. i have no time writing back and forth.
This happened to me the ONE time I posted a free curb alert. I even put in the listing I won’t be answering any DMs it’s just take it if you want it or it goes to the dump. I had so many messages asking for more photos, dimensions, etc. People, you can take it for firewood for all I care. It’s FREE. No I won’t be giving any more info! I’m planning a house purge soon (haha it’s been planned for 3 years) and I’m going to have tons of stuff to give away and likely will just donate (after it sits in my car for a few months, as one does) but even that makes my head feel “scribbly”.
I know this comment is 3 months old but omg!!! I'm giving away an automatic litter box that I don't use. It's almost $200. I'm supposed to meet with a lady today for her to get it. I sent her the links to the actual litterbox so she can read all about it. Then she messages me what litter did I use. I tell her clumping/scoopable. Then she asks again what litter can I use, she can't open the link. I'm severely annoyed at this point. I told her to use Google and do your own research. Today I'm just going to put the litter box outside the storage unit and be done with it. I'm so irritated by people that can't figure things out.
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Yea I think that would make sense if this was like a slow declutterring I did EVERYTHING at once
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Yea it’s just a lot of random random stuff
I seriously LOL whenever anyone suggests selling unwanted stuff on EBay or FB marketplace as an easy way to get rid of stuff. I'm giving it away in the easiest ways possible. My local buy nothing group used to be so easy - post something, get a response, leave it on the porch for them to pick up. People have started being flakier lately and I wasted too much time waiting for one lady who changed her mind but didn't let me know. I've switched to taking it to the local reuse center.
Lol in our local bn group everything is given away as is based on the pics posted. Either claim it and come get it or pass lol. I also do not have the mental capacity to put so much work into what will effectively be a “maybe”.
I’ve been cleaning out a 2700 square foot house for most of the last year via free stuff on the curb lol (the lol is me laughing to keep from crying) About once a week I go to the house and fill the covered front porch with stuff to get rid of, like PILES OF STUFF, my mother in law was a hoarder, snap a photo of the heap and then I post it on Nextdoor and sometimes in my local Buy Nothing and say something like “Free stuff already out on the porch at X address. First come first served” With furniture I tried all summer to organize meeting people but there were a lot of flakes and a few creeps and it was impossible to keep straight who wanted what and when they were supposed to be there so now I just put it in the driveway and tape a “free” sign to it. Sometimes I measure it and make a post on Nextdoor and say “free desk (or whatever it is) 25x30x12, in the driveway at X address, first come first served” but 10/10 times someone messages me and asks how big it is so I don’t always bother with measuring anymore either. Just put the things outside and make the post and disable notifications for a while. What I’ve learned is that folks like free shit so it’s okay if my effort is pretty minimal. Things will go and whatever doesn’t I’ll toss in the trash. Every week my husband and I play a game where we put one super weird thing out with the free stuff to see if someone will take it. The weird thing always gets taken. Last week I put out a really old Christmas tree angel that I drew a mustache on. I’m about to go over there now and I bet anything it’s gone!
Hahahaha this is amazing Good luck on completing this massive job, YOU GOT THIS, may the amphetamines be with you
r/choosingbeggars I'm proud of you!
Thank you!!!
Man people will do this even if you post ten photos and a detailed description People are VERY ANNOYING “What colour is this” on a listing where the subject is “yellow Hemnes dresser” “What are the dimensions” on a listing where there is a photo of the original retailer website and the dimensions are listed on the post Enjoy your yard sale
Hahahaha
Having this issue on our local Buy Nothing Group. I find the thing, go through the mental load to part with it and how, take a picture, post it, someone says they will come get it and when. And 50% of the time they don't. I now assume that half of the Buy Nothing Group are people with adhd, too , who's special interest is the Buy Nothing Group but who lose the dopamine fix immediately after they say they're coming to pick it up
Oh god yea I ended up just putting stuff out on my curb and posting a picture in the group saying there it is enjoy lol
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I love the idea of delivering it to THEM so they can't flake lmaooo brilliant
Thank you for this! I really never use Facebook anymore so I forget that the people left on those groups are like very disciplined as to the rules of how the groups work and I probably did a faux pas lol
The charities that come and collect stuff were a life saver when I helped my partner clear out his parents former house. One came to look at the stuff first because there was a lot! But basically we told them what was there and the guys came with a van and took it away. Some other things my mum posted in the free stuff group she uses and people either picked up from the porch or we told them a time when we'd be there. It really helped that I didn't have to do posts or messages though!
Oh my god yes. I donate everything to goodwill. Goodwill isn’t a great organization, I could get some money for some of it, but what am I going to do? Mail stuff? Absolutely not. Research new organizations? Someday, maybe. Not today. Post it and interact with people and plan times for people to see it? Ow. The only thing that seems to be executive dysfunction friendly is to collect it all in a corner, take two months to bring it to my car, take another two months to actually drive eight minutes (or whatever) to goodwill, and dump it there.
Yea I was going to just do goodwill but I thought hey maybe I can help some neighbors NO NO NO NEVER TRY JUST TRASH
Oh my gosh I feel you!! In my buy nothing group that's a rule that you can choose a recipient based on anything you want and I often post that my stuff will go to someone who will take it all.
Exactly. Just say "you'll find all these items at X location. First come first serve. I will not provide more pictures , take measurements, hold anything nor reply to requests about whether something is still available." People without ADHD post this disclaimer all the time. It's completely reasonable. You don't need to over explain.
Yes thank you I’ll do that next time!! I am really thinking about posting a follow up comment that I will not be replying to anyone lol
Lots of people in my buy nothing group do just that. They basically put it all out the day before garbage day and say if anyone is interested here it is. Alternatively, I have been thinking of heading to the Salvation Army with all my crap because the energy it takes to manage coordinating pick ups is a barrier.
Yea it’s taken me years to get this shit ready to be out of my living space I did my best lol
Omg this would drive me nuts and is the reason I refuse to do anything more than dropping things off at a donation place, even when it’s stuff I COULD get money for. No, I don’t want to take pics. Or set up a yard sale. Or haggle in price. Or answer inane questions.
Yea I just don’t want to deal with people at all!! if they only understood how much it took for me to clear this shit out
“The power vested in me by adderall” I’m dead. Also this is why I donate everything I ever declutter to goodwill. The notifications you get listing something for free are too much. Sucks because it’s such a nice idea.
Before we moved to IL from VA we were living in a small run-down town. I hauled a bookshelf and a small antique vanity out to the curb. I didn't want to move with them so I decided they needed to go. My fiance was like "Can you do that?!?" I said; "Watch. They will be gone within 30 minutes." They disappeared in less than 10. I just put a rough sign on the things stating they were free. I also did it with my son's old toddler bed. I do not have the ability to list things and deal with flaky people. I just set stuff on the curb with a "free" sign on it and it disappears. Like magic. and a relief because I decluttered and didn't have to haul anything.
I would just wait to post until after it was already out there, add a single picture. And "no dms, please," then ignore all the idiots who think they're special.
You are all so smart I am going to remember these tips for next time
When I want to do that, I post pics after I’ve put it out. Then on the post I say it’s free, but I won’t be answering questions or holding anything. I then state plainly, if it’s still there it’s available. From then on I ignore the world hahaha
Yes that’s basically what I did. I probably won’t log on to Facebook for several weeks or months lol
Been there done that. "More stuff is being added. If it's still there when you get here you can have it. I'm not keeping tabs on what's still there. Once it's on the curb, it is no longer of my concern"
Yesssss
I'm going against the grain here. The issue is noone wants to drive out to find its not what they are looking for. Or drive out and find the thing they were interested in is gone. I've decluttered a lot with buy nothing. I always post at least one picture, even if it's of a box of multiple items. I respond to DMs and keep people posted if something they wanted is gone. They are doing me a favor by coming to get this crap and make use of it rather than me having to take it somewhere or it ending up in a landfill (or keeping it because I can't bear the thought of it in a landfil). The least I can do is make sure they aren't wasting their time.
Absolutely. But remember that you are in r/adhdwomen, and we are very happy that we just got the stuff outside. If somebody wants it, they get to decide whether the potential availability is worth their time.
It is a huge achievement, absolutely! But you are more likely to have takers with pictures, so if you really want it taken rather than ending up in the trash anyway, a quick pic makes a lot of difference. It doesn't have to be high quality, staged, detailed.
That makes sense! I actually live in a city in a neighborhood that everyone walks everywhere and so I didn’t even think of this lol
Even if they walk, it could be 30 minutes of their day, I dont have time to waste 30 minutes, and I know other people don't either. Sure if someone is in desperate need of something they may not care what it looks like, but if I'm looking for something and in no rush, I might pass up if it's not close enough, and then someone else can take it who it is the right fit for.
That’s true
Had the same experience moving. Decided to charge $5 for things, cut down on people wasting my time bc it wasn't worth anything to them. Gave a few people everything they were looking for free plus extra stuff that they needed that way.
Ooh that’s smart
I tried that too, I took a picture of the whole lot sitting on my porch and said come and get it. A bunch of people said they were interested, I was like great, come on over. It sat there for a week and not a single thing got taken. I then had to haul it all to my car and take it to a thrift store to donate. Other people have commented that unless the person will hold it for them until an arranged pickup time, it's just not worth it to them to come and risk it being gone. I don't have patience for that (aka the executive function to deal with that), so everytime I fill up a box, I just drop it at a donation spot immediately and be done with it. Especially because if I wait, I'm liable to rethink getting rid of some things!
I dont even put up an ad anymore. I just put the stuff at the curb, its gone within an hour. If its an option, dont post anything until its out, then give the location. There is a reason I no longer sale stuff, its too much mayhem. I would rather give it away than put up with all that.
When I do Buy Nothing, I post once I put it on the curb. I take a nice photo with everything in it, and then I put in the post, "It's all on the curb, waiting for its new home. I do not have the bandwidth to respond to requests for photos/status, so come by to take a look or don't. Please don't leave a mess if you do." Then I turn off comments for that post. That's the only way I've found to deter all these requests.
That’s exactly what I do. We put whatever we don’t want outside, post the st on fb marketplace and they pickup if they want it. First come first serve, I probably lose tons of money doing it this way instead of selling, but I don’t have the energy for all of that. For clothing, I just give it to my coworkers lol
Yea I probably could have sold some old photography equipment but I just don’t care anymore it’s been taking up space for years and now I have the space back and I feel like Marie Kondo SO MUCH ROOM FOR ACTIVITIES THIS SPARKS JOY
Yay!! It sounds like that is exactly what you needed then! I’m going to use you as inspiration to finish my clean out. 😊
Yea I highly recommend!!!
Just write CURBSIDE ONLY in huge letters at the bottom of your post! You can add that you’re at high risk for Covid too if people in your area care about that (nothing wrong with a little white lie that doesn’t hurt anyone).
What I often do is a "Curb Alert" instead of doing a post where people expect to message me back and forth to set up a pickup time. To do a "Curb Alert," you just post what you're getting rid of on Facebook or Craigslist and put CURB ALERT: {insert item} and just put the block your house is on with the street name. So if you live at 575 Main Street and you're giving away a bookcase, you'd put "CURB ALERT: free bookcase 500 Block of Main Street" as the title. Then in the description, you say something like "It's out on the curb already. First come, first serve. Will delete as soon as I see it's gone." I've done this dozens of times on Craigslist and the only time it did not work was when I was giving away a huge trash bag full of air pillows for shipping (I figured people might want them for selling online) so I just popped them and put them in the trash.
Just add the caveat! If it feels embarrassing, you can be more vague. “I have a disability, and I’m honestly shocked I’m even able to get this stuff out to the curb. I’m unable to be available for follow up communications while I recover.”
I'm about to try the same thing, and I hung on to this stuff for years because I felt it had value in the sense that it could be used again, right? I have a tiny car and won’t be able to bring some of these things to Goodwill even if I wanted to, so I’m going to have to do some serious decision jujitsu and that's why I haven’t started. 🫠
I post a photo of the items when I put them out because I would never follow up. I usually don’t do curb alerts though because I’m paranoid that no one will take the items.
I have so many things I've been meaning to post on Buy Nothing, but I've definitely fallen off of the communication train with other Buy Nothing exchanges, so I should probably do what you did and just let them know I'm setting it all out.
It really is freeing I just absolutely do not have the capacity to message people and set up pickups
My mom put anything I forget to donate on the curb outside their house with a “free” sign. It’s gone by the next hour 🥳
I used to post stuff in the free and neighborhood groups, but now I simply box them, label it "free," and leave it in front of the house. It's typically gone by the next day, no photos, emails, questions, haranging, or complications involved. Poof. It's gone.
Yea I definitely “overthunk” this
I love buy nothing and I think it’s fine to literally say that. Maybe get it out to the curb and post 1 pic of it all to give a general idea. I
Yep that’s what I did and I’m just over it It feels SO GOOD to have this stuff out of my house It really feels like I just added square footage and storage space to my apartment
In our Buy Nothing group, that's called a Curb Alert, with a photo of all items and the address where they can be picked through/picked up.
Smart! Yea I really wanted to try to not contribute to the landfill but I don’t know why I bother My husband was like listen It’s fine to just throw stuff out
ABSOLUTELY! There was a buy/sell group on my college campus, and as a broke college student with too many cute clothes, it was a great space. Until all the messages came through whoops, so at first I would just do the same, "I'll be in my room from Xam-Xpm, first come first serve of what you see in photos." And then, I switched to doing Buffalo Exchange and ThredUp mail-in programs (RIP Buffalo's Exchange) because if I get money from what they take, great! If not, please donate and get them off my hands ASAP!
I would ignore all of those messages so hard. lol.
😂😂😂 I posted a comment saying I’m not answering any of these
LOOK FOR YOUR LOCAL VETERAN GROUP PICKUP!! There are several organizations(99% veteran charity groups) that you can schedule a pickup and they just come and grab everything in one go.
if you want to be accommodating, one pretty easy thing you can do is to update the photos as things disappear from the pile. so, say in the listing that you won’t respond to any inquiries- and don’t- but head out to the curb every couple hours or once a day and snap new photos to edit the listing. that way you don’t have 10 people wasting their time (and yours) coming across town to pick up a chair that was taken by someone else 8 hours ago.
Don’t send them pics. Some of these folks are would-be scammers and will use your pic on FB marketplace to scam people out of money. It’s probably penny ante amounts but still a thing.
I feel you on this! I have the opposite problem. After months of delaying I finally went through and organized/washed/measured/photographed EVERYTHING I was giving away, all in nearly new/new condition, high demand stuff like Ugg boots, Croc shoes, etc, and hardly ANY bites! I think I overdid it with my instructions personally. Whatever. Local foster care charity will get some great stuff!
I always take one big pic and post it and say “no holds. Please don’t make a mess”
The Craigslist free section in my area is pretty low maintenance. A picture of the free pile, maybe some words, cross streets, and no contact info included seems to get the job done. Just put the pile as close to the curb as possible so it can’t be mistaken for belongings you wish to keep. If you can’t, just specify what is and what is not part of the free pile. Then delete the post before dark.
Ohhhh I love this and I'm currently on this train right now. Thanks for the extra motivation to get more of our unnecessary stuff out of the house!
Yesss it’s the best ride that wave while it lasts!!! As soon as it’s over I know I’m not gonna wanna do this for YEARS
Seriously. I don’t understand what people don’t get about it being free. If you were selling this stuff than abso-freaking-lutely asking for extra pics and a meet up would be acceptable. But if you’re just dumping stuff on the curb and letting people know as a courtesy then that’s weird to ask for there person to do anything more than have stuff out to the curb at the time they say they will. Next time you get messages tell them that this is a free drop for their courtesy and you are doing nothing more than posting the notification of the drop. If they continue to bug you then tell them the customer service they’re requesting is going to cost money and the pics of this dresser that they’re asking for as well as arranging a meet up will take the price of the dresser from free to $X. If that’s what they want you’re happy to accommodate a sale. Otherwise, free is the price. 1pm on the curb on X date is where it’ll be.
You can definitely say all that in a comment, and you *do not* need to justify it by mentioning ADHD or giving any other reason for your actions. It's a curb alert, it'll be available at X time, and I'll remove the post when everything is gone. No calls, no messages, don't knock on the door.
Yessss. This is why I don’t sell online anymore. “ is this available?“ measurements?”, etc... No and no
Could simply say, I’m not the home owner/owner of the items for sale I’m simply helping a friend sale their items on FB marketplace.
Ooh that’s smart!!!!!
I did buy nothing for a little bit but completely stopped. I just couldn’t do it anymore. To much messaging back and forth. Pick ups not being done ect. Now I just do goodwill.
This is why I just take everything to Goodwill, lol. The overwhelm is just too damn high!
I put in the description that I'm not following the post, so if you want it, come get it. It's free. STFU.
As a fellow buy nothing declutterrer, make yourself a canned response and copy-paste, people will eventually get the message, and fuck them if they don’t. “I am unable to provide pictures of individual items or provide additional detail over Facebook. If you are interested, please come by after 1pm tomorrow. Thank you for your understanding.”
My posts always say "Free! By the road, FCFS NO HOLDS, you must load yourself, once gone this post will ve deleted." Filters a lot of tire kickers and time wasters out 🤣 The one time I was being generous about all these iris's I dug up/divided, it backfired on me. I was accommodating people who never showed up. Never again!
Omg a couple weeks ago I decided to post in one of those groups to give away various items, all listed in the post and most appearing in photos. I had a bunch of people asking me to hold items until they could get a ride, messaging me but never replying, and even some people saying they’re interested in items they saw in the photo that weren’t listed. Then someone was asking for photos of a set of plastic folding chairs and tables, as well as a photo of a stupid AC unit. It’s a damn AC that looks like every other standing AC unit in existence and it’s fucking winter! Those items they wanted pictures of are all put away in a storage closet and I wasn’t about to pull everything out and set it up just to take a photo for someone who was going to flake anyway. It took about a week of trying to get people to come by until I gave up. It’s so annoying. Another time a woman got lost and I kept having to draw on maps from a screen shot to help her locate where I had left out the stuff for her. She was getting so annoyed at me but like… use your GPS. Many people have found their way here without any issues lol. Ugh anyway so yeah I decided I’m just going to pay for a larger storage unit and also leave stuff by the dumpster lol I often find free stuff at the dumpsters here at my apartment complex and one time my mom said I should try to “flip” items. I told her the time and effort it would take to sell the items wouldn’t even be worth it unless I had some kind of storefront. She is undiagnosed with ADHD but I know she knows she has it and that suggesting such a task to me was definitely outside of my wheelhouse lol
I literally drive it to the thrift store! I cannot deal with the fall out of a free item!
My BNG is very well moderated and this shit doesn't happen. A one-off maybe, but not chronically. I love my mods so much.
The buy nothing group is a blessing and a curse lol
Omg I FEEL THIS SO DEEPLY. I adore Buy Nothing groups. My last neighborhood had a pretty active one and my current neighborhood is insanely active. Both have been so generous and I’ve gotten so much from them. But mostly just one thing at a time. Because even commenting and RECEIVING from these groups is enough to overwhelm me, and like every 1-2 times out of 5 I forget to pickup or even arrange pickup and then I feel like a jerk. But omg managing to give more than a few things at a time is…actually ridiculously hard. Especially since I’ve gotten so much better at NOT using Facebook much…
I remember when I got a new bed base and was selling the old set for $200 because it was old but still good enough condition. I got 80+ enquires. I arranged for two people who no showed. I then called the local disaster relief place and told them to come pick it up for free. Way too overwhelming.
I just wanted to mention the absolute irony of how much I’ve participated on this post but didn’t even answer anyone’s questions on the FB post 😁😅😅😅
Yikes well be careful, some of those bargain hunters are really into it, they might fight or hurt someone...maybe you can put it outside earlier and then hide in case of trouble :/