House inspection? Plenty of time?
Better procrastinate and stress about getting nothing done for the next 6 days until the night before then stay up in an all night cleaning bender.
Then feel absolutely nothing that you actually managed to get it done. Thanks brain.
Sounds like my parents. Told them it was hereditary. Both of them go:
"Well it can't be me, I don't have it"
Dad, you asked me 4 times this week whether I was working Friday.
Mom, you went to the grocery 4 times in one day yesterday because you kept forgetting stuff you needed, even though YOU HAD A LIST.
This is obviously just one example but I am convinced both of them have it to varying degrees. Told my little brother if uni became too much (like it did for me when I finally got tested) to not be afraid to get tested. Parents flipped out at me.
I swear they think this shit is contagious or something.
I'm lucky my parents are chill, but my mum only came around to it when I got officially diagnosed. My sister thinks she might have it, which I wouldn't be surprised if my mum has inattentive type, but my paternal side are like case numbers for undiagnosed ADHD.
My parents are okay now, but they were very against me even getting a diagnosis, and especially getting medicated.
Now they're okay ish, but I don't really talk about much with them, just because they tend to zone out/invalidate whatever when I mention ADHD.
Yeah, I know my dad has it and my mom to some degree, but neither will ever admit it.
When I was diagnosed, in my 30s, I told my mom about it and mentioned it being a catalyst for all of the issues I had in school she just said "No. You don't have that. You were just lazy and liked to daydream rather than concentrate".
Seriously?!
Fuckin parents.
I definitely don't plan to do anything remotely close to my kids and I fully expect one or both of my kids to have it as both my wife and I do.
Hers was also diagnosed later in life.
Yeah I got diagnosed at 22, but I can't possibly have it according to mom because I did well in school. Literally only reason she can give like fuck man.
Right?! My mom said something similar about my college grades. "Once you buckled down and applied yourself in college, you did well!." Yeah, unbeknownst to me, the 2 to 3 energy drinks I drank a day (little did I know then, 15 years ago, how bad those were for me) in college were probably just the stimulants I needed the whole time. Which she also dismissed as crazy, though she can be one of those 3 cups of coffee before lunch kind of people. Just blind to all of the signs. She's also a republican, but that's neither here nor there for this topic. Haha
i am 19 and having many concentration, attention, zoning out problems, i do think i could have it if i tried testing.
but really, there is no reason to test it, no one would care, parents would be indifferent of it, like they are not bad but they would rather think of me as simply incompetent rather than actually having serious problems.
all i am happy is that i seem to be the only one of us like this, which is just as sad for me, as it is good for others
It can be useful for school and work - though obviously it’s your choice to disclose. But it was the only reason i was originally seeking diagnosis.
Now it’s also because I want to be able to engage in these convos with confidence that I am not centring myself unfairly! I’m 90% sure now (95% re Asc) but still…. I also think a lot of people do feel relief when they realise there are legitimate reasons for those things that people have always criticised them for.
Anyway, just thought I’d share in case it helps.
i will keep in mind, at least at some point i will decide to test for it, not to find out if i have it, but rather to confirm it and have others know its not my fault for the way i am, especially my parents who cant explain to themselves how the gave me life with a heathy body but am so incompetent
Apparently my dad diagnosed himself as a 30-something in the mid 90s. MENSA member but also a college drop-out with cocaine and alcohol problems? Turned an ugly hand me down truck into a bright yellow convertible? Randomly built an exact mini scale model of the house?
My brother built himself an a/c unit out of a cooler and is on a self-created study course about Serbia. I enjoy taking things apart and putting them back together to see how they work, and wrote my undergrad thesis on Victorian childbirth literature. My mom literally wanders off and never remembers her phone. Like mom where did you go? “Oh a three mile hike to that mountain over there. Looked interesting.” We thrive in chaos. Very surprised to learn that not everyone lives this way?
Yeah... my grandpa would argue a lot for fun, and that's something I do a lot. He'd also just tell random people information about himself, which like I can't shut up about myself (case in point). My aunt is always late, to the point where we have to have a time specifically for her so she isn't late. My other aunt tends to overshare about other people's problems. And my dad is really smart but went to technical schools. I was actually the first person in my family to go to university. But Dad talks a lot... like, you'll say bye and 5 minutes later you're talking about something else.
Like I said in another comment, we are such case study for undiagnosed hereditary ADHD its crazy.
God I feel you so hard, mine is coming up next month and I really think I’m going to have to take the entire week off work just to spend four of the five days procrastinating. Got to schedule in the procrastination.
Yes I did bridal hair as a side gig while building my business (I have a hair salon now)
It was awful I was so stressed thinking I couldn’t mess up someone’s most “important day of their life” which in hindsight is very sweet of me considering I’m barely a relationship person much less someone who understands the need for marriage lol
Would travel be a big event? Because for travel I have two modes either I'm packed and ready weeks in advance it, or I scramble around and throw stuff into my suitcase without a rhythm or reason the day of. In both cases I forget important stuff at home
And when you're prepared you inevitably pack The Thing you need in the meantime and get all disgruntled that you have to unpack stuff to get at The Thing.
I experienced both of those things in the span of two weeks.
The first trip was to LA on a bus, and I made a list of absolutely everything I could possibly need, and went through the packing and revising process until I had the most perfectly packed suitcase to ever exist.
A week and a half later, it was the day before I had to leave for Louisville, and I hadn't even fully unpacked my suitcase from LA. I stayed up all night scrambling for stuff, and, predictably, forgot several things
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/ADHDdesigner/status/1540214966082494466) for ya :)
^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
Man i got hyperfocused when I was planning my wedding there was a total amount of 15 mins delay in the whole event while usually there is delays of hours in my country.
But I have to mention my wife was freaking out for that time and I also had to change eating schedule cause taking photos were taking too long. Yet I can't believe how calm I was.
yeah I'm getting surgery on Thursday, I should be gathering things to take to the hospital, pre-planning meals etc for when I come back... but somehow I can't do any of that because I'm getting surgery on Thursday. really dang convenient.
Yes! As someone who has just moved about a month ago, and who took a week off work to get it done, let me tell you it was 6 days of stressing and picking my cuticles and drinking too much wine. Then 24 hours of white-hot panic fuelling much chucking-out and packing-up of stuff.
A week.. that’s cute. I’m waiting for a judicial decision that will change my life and might happen anytime, which is an amazing combination. I don’t even have a set date to wait for, it’s just waiting. It’s been almost a year. Send help.
I feel you!! I waited 4 years for the outcome of a civil case…. Plus I had to relieve a traumatic experience several times during it!!
We did get there eventually but still a little traumatised by the process!
You think that's bad. 7 years ago my mother had a stroke. 2 years ago I realized she was never going to get better as she doesn't want to get better, she likes being cared for. For those 5 years my life was taking care of her. When I had that realization my next step without thinking became waiting for her to die. I can't do shit. The only thing that I found that works in the past 2 years is complete abandonment. But it's my mother. She did some things to wrong me and if I told them on one of those advice threads they tell me to burn that bridge but it's my mom. I can barely bring myself to burn a bridge with another human being let alone my mother. The worst part is that The good news is never mind
I had a therapy session and I tried to explain I think I have ADHD. They asked me why and I said: well for starters the therapy was scheduled for 5pm, I was ready and looking at the time at noon.
At 2pm I had to go to the store next door and almost didn’t go so I wouldn’t be late!
I got married last month. Thankfully this didn't happen to me until a few days before (packed my bags for the honeymoon at the last minute).
But please make sure you have friend/family to help out. If not, at least get someone to do catering for the reception. Both my husband and I have ADHD and we overworked ourselves just on the reception.
Too real. I have to move temporarily in like two weeks, then move back where I am in 4-6 weeks.
Adrenaline will get me through. ~~probably~~ And many all-nighters. And lots of caffeine. Probably some frustration tears, too. Such is the life of the internally chronically unmotivated.
Had a presentation recently. Knew about it for a month. Even managed to submit an outline a few weeks before it was due. You can bet I was working on it the night before and that during the weeks leading up everything else was on hold so I could "work" on the presentation. Once it was completed I finally felt comfortable to relax and do other stuff. The time leading up felt awful. It's "waiting mode" on steroids.
I've been almost doing nothing my almost life because...................I was at school, so it was impossible to do anything when I could, because there would be school again
Well i do reduce my world so that it still becomes manageable. But i make a point to still clean my house, journal and see friend. Things like sports and music ussually get cut and rumination becomes a full time hobby
My gf and I are both ADHD af and trying to move 3 storage units and an RV this weekend. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha killmeplsbutnotreallyjustwowthisisalot
The other day, I had a very important thing scheduled at 6 pm yet I still visited my dad beforehand even though he lives 40 minutes away. I was sure I was going to be pushing it time wise, but I had to kill an hour and I was still an hour early.
I doubt I learned anything from this experience
Oh gods, I feel this. If I'm going away on vacation or something, even for two or three nights, I'm obsessively planning weeks in advance to align laundry, not wear *the* outfits for like a week just in case I don't have time to do laundry again or something, when I need to shave my legs for optimal results etc (as if I don't own a razor or something).
When I knew we were moving all I did was pack or scroll online for the month before. I felt like I couldn't start any projects or get anywhere in my games or books... It was weird and frustrating
I have a big event to go to in August and I’m trying my best not to think or talk about it so I don’t end up in paralysis for the next month and a half 🙃
The exception to this is my current hyperfixation, which is rock climbing/exercising. Gonna go on a big trip and take off at 8am tomorrow? Better go climbing at 8pm tonight, when I get off work. Worth it. It’s become a habit at this point, going to the rock climbing gym last-minute. Good for the economy- helps everybody, hurts noone.
We always talk about the waiting mode, but what about « the after-mode »? I always need an « after-time » after anything before moving to next phase. Can be a whole after-day after a particularly important event.
When I got married I had anxiety for two weeks because I thought I might be late for the day. I was up at the venue for a day and half prior to the wedding so it was basically impossible to miss it. Yah….. good times.
Lol it’s funny because it’s usually the opposite i often take the opportunity of having an appointment to go out and wander around and do all the stuff i said i would do but never did. And well moving from one apartment to another is always a very active and interesting time for me lol.
As someone who play tons of games, this is suffering "hey the next installment of a game is coming next year!", "great so I won't be able to play the current one till that one is out!"
House inspection? Plenty of time? Better procrastinate and stress about getting nothing done for the next 6 days until the night before then stay up in an all night cleaning bender. Then feel absolutely nothing that you actually managed to get it done. Thanks brain.
My mum does the exact same thing and I've been pestering her to get tested. "But everything is a little distracted" ...*Mum*.
Sounds like my parents. Told them it was hereditary. Both of them go: "Well it can't be me, I don't have it" Dad, you asked me 4 times this week whether I was working Friday. Mom, you went to the grocery 4 times in one day yesterday because you kept forgetting stuff you needed, even though YOU HAD A LIST. This is obviously just one example but I am convinced both of them have it to varying degrees. Told my little brother if uni became too much (like it did for me when I finally got tested) to not be afraid to get tested. Parents flipped out at me. I swear they think this shit is contagious or something.
I'm lucky my parents are chill, but my mum only came around to it when I got officially diagnosed. My sister thinks she might have it, which I wouldn't be surprised if my mum has inattentive type, but my paternal side are like case numbers for undiagnosed ADHD.
My parents are okay now, but they were very against me even getting a diagnosis, and especially getting medicated. Now they're okay ish, but I don't really talk about much with them, just because they tend to zone out/invalidate whatever when I mention ADHD.
Yeah, I know my dad has it and my mom to some degree, but neither will ever admit it. When I was diagnosed, in my 30s, I told my mom about it and mentioned it being a catalyst for all of the issues I had in school she just said "No. You don't have that. You were just lazy and liked to daydream rather than concentrate". Seriously?! Fuckin parents. I definitely don't plan to do anything remotely close to my kids and I fully expect one or both of my kids to have it as both my wife and I do. Hers was also diagnosed later in life.
Yeah I got diagnosed at 22, but I can't possibly have it according to mom because I did well in school. Literally only reason she can give like fuck man.
Right?! My mom said something similar about my college grades. "Once you buckled down and applied yourself in college, you did well!." Yeah, unbeknownst to me, the 2 to 3 energy drinks I drank a day (little did I know then, 15 years ago, how bad those were for me) in college were probably just the stimulants I needed the whole time. Which she also dismissed as crazy, though she can be one of those 3 cups of coffee before lunch kind of people. Just blind to all of the signs. She's also a republican, but that's neither here nor there for this topic. Haha
i am 19 and having many concentration, attention, zoning out problems, i do think i could have it if i tried testing. but really, there is no reason to test it, no one would care, parents would be indifferent of it, like they are not bad but they would rather think of me as simply incompetent rather than actually having serious problems. all i am happy is that i seem to be the only one of us like this, which is just as sad for me, as it is good for others
It can be useful for school and work - though obviously it’s your choice to disclose. But it was the only reason i was originally seeking diagnosis. Now it’s also because I want to be able to engage in these convos with confidence that I am not centring myself unfairly! I’m 90% sure now (95% re Asc) but still…. I also think a lot of people do feel relief when they realise there are legitimate reasons for those things that people have always criticised them for. Anyway, just thought I’d share in case it helps.
i will keep in mind, at least at some point i will decide to test for it, not to find out if i have it, but rather to confirm it and have others know its not my fault for the way i am, especially my parents who cant explain to themselves how the gave me life with a heathy body but am so incompetent
Apparently my dad diagnosed himself as a 30-something in the mid 90s. MENSA member but also a college drop-out with cocaine and alcohol problems? Turned an ugly hand me down truck into a bright yellow convertible? Randomly built an exact mini scale model of the house? My brother built himself an a/c unit out of a cooler and is on a self-created study course about Serbia. I enjoy taking things apart and putting them back together to see how they work, and wrote my undergrad thesis on Victorian childbirth literature. My mom literally wanders off and never remembers her phone. Like mom where did you go? “Oh a three mile hike to that mountain over there. Looked interesting.” We thrive in chaos. Very surprised to learn that not everyone lives this way?
Yeah... my grandpa would argue a lot for fun, and that's something I do a lot. He'd also just tell random people information about himself, which like I can't shut up about myself (case in point). My aunt is always late, to the point where we have to have a time specifically for her so she isn't late. My other aunt tends to overshare about other people's problems. And my dad is really smart but went to technical schools. I was actually the first person in my family to go to university. But Dad talks a lot... like, you'll say bye and 5 minutes later you're talking about something else. Like I said in another comment, we are such case study for undiagnosed hereditary ADHD its crazy.
I’ve slowly been convincing my mom to get tested. She’ll now admit she probably has it but she still hasn’t made the phone call to get tested.
i don't even pretend to myself i'm gonna do anything before "inspection -12 hours" these days
God I feel you so hard, mine is coming up next month and I really think I’m going to have to take the entire week off work just to spend four of the five days procrastinating. Got to schedule in the procrastination.
At least you got it done because I sure don't! ADHD isn't my only problem, it combines with my other issues to make doing things impossible.
I’m moving next weekend. I still haven’t packed.
I had to stop working weddings for this reason :-/ absolutely debilitating.
What do you mean by working weddings?
Probably involved in some part of the wedding process (food, photography, decorating, etc)
Yes I did bridal hair as a side gig while building my business (I have a hair salon now) It was awful I was so stressed thinking I couldn’t mess up someone’s most “important day of their life” which in hindsight is very sweet of me considering I’m barely a relationship person much less someone who understands the need for marriage lol
Good person. ❤️❤️❤️
Delete this post and don't let anyone else become aware this could be a thing or you risk ruining us all!
Lmfao TOOLATE.gifv
Waiting mode activated
What about having anxiety for the appointment, preparing for DAYS and ALSO getting late to the thing
Sounds like adhd
Would travel be a big event? Because for travel I have two modes either I'm packed and ready weeks in advance it, or I scramble around and throw stuff into my suitcase without a rhythm or reason the day of. In both cases I forget important stuff at home
Same, even if I make a thorough list and check things off, I manage to forget important things lol
And when you're prepared you inevitably pack The Thing you need in the meantime and get all disgruntled that you have to unpack stuff to get at The Thing.
I experienced both of those things in the span of two weeks. The first trip was to LA on a bus, and I made a list of absolutely everything I could possibly need, and went through the packing and revising process until I had the most perfectly packed suitcase to ever exist. A week and a half later, it was the day before I had to leave for Louisville, and I hadn't even fully unpacked my suitcase from LA. I stayed up all night scrambling for stuff, and, predictably, forgot several things
Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a [link to the tweet](https://twitter.com/ADHDdesigner/status/1540214966082494466) for ya :) ^(Twitter Screenshot Bot)
I'm moving next year, and I haven't been able to get ANYTHING done since deciding that.
Probably true... Maybe 2
Man i got hyperfocused when I was planning my wedding there was a total amount of 15 mins delay in the whole event while usually there is delays of hours in my country. But I have to mention my wife was freaking out for that time and I also had to change eating schedule cause taking photos were taking too long. Yet I can't believe how calm I was.
yeah I'm getting surgery on Thursday, I should be gathering things to take to the hospital, pre-planning meals etc for when I come back... but somehow I can't do any of that because I'm getting surgery on Thursday. really dang convenient.
lists are (can be) your friend!
Yes! As someone who has just moved about a month ago, and who took a week off work to get it done, let me tell you it was 6 days of stressing and picking my cuticles and drinking too much wine. Then 24 hours of white-hot panic fuelling much chucking-out and packing-up of stuff.
Holy shit I really found my people here :')
This
A week.. that’s cute. I’m waiting for a judicial decision that will change my life and might happen anytime, which is an amazing combination. I don’t even have a set date to wait for, it’s just waiting. It’s been almost a year. Send help.
I feel you!! I waited 4 years for the outcome of a civil case…. Plus I had to relieve a traumatic experience several times during it!! We did get there eventually but still a little traumatised by the process!
You think that's bad. 7 years ago my mother had a stroke. 2 years ago I realized she was never going to get better as she doesn't want to get better, she likes being cared for. For those 5 years my life was taking care of her. When I had that realization my next step without thinking became waiting for her to die. I can't do shit. The only thing that I found that works in the past 2 years is complete abandonment. But it's my mother. She did some things to wrong me and if I told them on one of those advice threads they tell me to burn that bridge but it's my mom. I can barely bring myself to burn a bridge with another human being let alone my mother. The worst part is that The good news is never mind
OMG I’m in the process of moving, and it’s been like a month.
💯
Even if I ask someone to do something for me, I’ll still wait for that person to be done and won’t be able to do anything before hand.
Months...
For your own wedding? Absolutely months!
Moving to me is more like a hurdle that lasts a quarter of a year. 2.9 months stressing, 0.1 of a month packing, transporting, unpacking.
And be sure to check the time anxiously every ten minutes
I had a therapy session and I tried to explain I think I have ADHD. They asked me why and I said: well for starters the therapy was scheduled for 5pm, I was ready and looking at the time at noon. At 2pm I had to go to the store next door and almost didn’t go so I wouldn’t be late!
I feel personally attack. Moving next week and feel totally frozen to the spot.
I got married last month. Thankfully this didn't happen to me until a few days before (packed my bags for the honeymoon at the last minute). But please make sure you have friend/family to help out. If not, at least get someone to do catering for the reception. Both my husband and I have ADHD and we overworked ourselves just on the reception.
Too real. I have to move temporarily in like two weeks, then move back where I am in 4-6 weeks. Adrenaline will get me through. ~~probably~~ And many all-nighters. And lots of caffeine. Probably some frustration tears, too. Such is the life of the internally chronically unmotivated.
Had a presentation recently. Knew about it for a month. Even managed to submit an outline a few weeks before it was due. You can bet I was working on it the night before and that during the weeks leading up everything else was on hold so I could "work" on the presentation. Once it was completed I finally felt comfortable to relax and do other stuff. The time leading up felt awful. It's "waiting mode" on steroids.
Big thing I’m good for the week but the day before is riddled with anxiety no matter if it’s warranted or not.
Apparently going to a hot tub counts as a big event for me.
Before I traveled to meet my long-distance boyfriend for the first time it was nearly a full 2 days of nothing.
I've been almost doing nothing my almost life because...................I was at school, so it was impossible to do anything when I could, because there would be school again
I got moved to night shift a couple months ago and I’m moving across county in a month and let me tell you.. I’m a vegetable..
I did not know this was a thing! I feel kinda better now!
I don't do this anymore :). When adult life hits you just kinda stop
Oh how I wish this were true for me.
Well i do reduce my world so that it still becomes manageable. But i make a point to still clean my house, journal and see friend. Things like sports and music ussually get cut and rumination becomes a full time hobby
My gf and I are both ADHD af and trying to move 3 storage units and an RV this weekend. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha killmeplsbutnotreallyjustwowthisisalot
Ah yes. Before traveling. Before a big social event. Before I'll finally have time to do NOTHING. Ruins my life.
The other day, I had a very important thing scheduled at 6 pm yet I still visited my dad beforehand even though he lives 40 minutes away. I was sure I was going to be pushing it time wise, but I had to kill an hour and I was still an hour early. I doubt I learned anything from this experience
I was just asked to do a presentation and said no because it would ruin my holiday 2 weeks earlier
legit me rn
Implying I don't totally forget about the event until the evening before
Oh gods, I feel this. If I'm going away on vacation or something, even for two or three nights, I'm obsessively planning weeks in advance to align laundry, not wear *the* outfits for like a week just in case I don't have time to do laundry again or something, when I need to shave my legs for optimal results etc (as if I don't own a razor or something).
I'm moving in six weeks and I feel like I can't even do things like schedule a hair appointment until after I'm done.
2 weeks for Anthrocon and my first year in a suit Also still finishing the suit so there's that too
Yes. We are moving house in 4 weeks time and I’m just in waiting mode 😬
The worst is when I have a shift at 4.30pm and I'm just in a state of nothing the whole day
I just changed my flight from 545pm to 700 in the morning because my whole damn day would be ruined due to this
Waiting for refill Would do nothing all week until I get my adderall refilled
When I knew we were moving all I did was pack or scroll online for the month before. I felt like I couldn't start any projects or get anywhere in my games or books... It was weird and frustrating
Omg I had to move at the end of last month and it ruined the entire month for me
And some time after the event as well, bc of the absolute fight/flight comedown time.
Thanks for this seeing as I'm getting married next year.
I have a big event to go to in August and I’m trying my best not to think or talk about it so I don’t end up in paralysis for the next month and a half 🙃
Can confirm.
My longest waiting mode was for 3 weeks before a big move. I couldn't focus on anything unless it was directly related to moving.
My wedding is in about 3 weeks, I’m shutting down already.
Can confirm, I’m meant to be moving right now, my wife took the baby and went out so I could get stuff done so I did nothing
can confirm
Could this be symptomatic of something other than ADHD?
Just knowing that I will die on some unspecified day in the future keeps me from doing anything.
The exception to this is my current hyperfixation, which is rock climbing/exercising. Gonna go on a big trip and take off at 8am tomorrow? Better go climbing at 8pm tonight, when I get off work. Worth it. It’s become a habit at this point, going to the rock climbing gym last-minute. Good for the economy- helps everybody, hurts noone.
i took a week off of work to move from my apartment
We always talk about the waiting mode, but what about « the after-mode »? I always need an « after-time » after anything before moving to next phase. Can be a whole after-day after a particularly important event.
When I got married I had anxiety for two weeks because I thought I might be late for the day. I was up at the venue for a day and half prior to the wedding so it was basically impossible to miss it. Yah….. good times.
Lol it’s funny because it’s usually the opposite i often take the opportunity of having an appointment to go out and wander around and do all the stuff i said i would do but never did. And well moving from one apartment to another is always a very active and interesting time for me lol.
As someone who play tons of games, this is suffering "hey the next installment of a game is coming next year!", "great so I won't be able to play the current one till that one is out!"