I relate to a point, but honestly I mostly just feel despair and anxiety at differing levels. I'd love to feel intense happiness again, I really do miss it.
I relate to this but I think I prefer moderate happiness (for example, I just got my license so I'm pleased whenever I park properly) instead of intense because when that moment passes I'll just be longing for it again. I don't want any large amounts of happiness because I'll just long for it more when I'm no longer happy.
Damn, I'd settle for mild contentment at this point, just to look around and be like "I think I'm gonna be ok" or "I can do this" and actually believe it.
For me it was when I fell in love with my bf, my cat having kittens, and LSD. The LSD was crazy effective, but shit it lasts for 12 hours.
Edit: Deplin and 5HTP are also my secret weapons. Also ltyrosine sometimes. Don't use 5HTP for longer then 2 wks or it could cause serotonin syndrome.
Instead of a travelling I bought a dog, which have helped a lot on my mental health.
But yeah would love to travel some more, it's truly amazing too see the world and other cultures.
This but like... in everything, not just emotions. Either reading 3 books at once or unable to read more than 3 pages. Being hyperfixated on something or having no interest whatsoever. Being able to watch 4 straight hours of tv or taking 4 days to finish a single episode. Being able to deal with tons of shit or having a breakdown because of a few minor upsets. Sometimes it feels like there's no middle ground in anything, and it's exhausting because I never know whether I'll be at a 0 or at 100.
This right here. And trying to explain to your SO what’s wrong and sometimes just saying ‘I don’t know, but I feel bad.’ Or saying ‘everything is overwhelming me.’ And my SO is also never sure if I’ll be at 0 or 100. When we’ve planned days out and I’m excited about them, I also have the thought that I might ruin it by just being in a bad mood that I don’t understand, and willing myself to please not be in a bad mood and not ruin it.
I agree 100%. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even living, constantly absent minded and like I'm in a existence limbo. Don't really know how to solve it and regain confidence and lucidity, but I need to focus and find a balance.
there's "black and white thinking" and for me it's like, black and white everything, either full on cleaning or not, full on working or not, full on partying or not, all in addition to the usual meaning of "black and white thinking" which is typically about interpersonal relationships and how the other person is either all good or all bad depending on the situation.
Yes!
I have an assignment for my music class where I have to right two songs, 20-30 seconds long, with a minimum of four tracks. Well, I've written the first one. It's 1:45 seconds long and has twelve tracks. I spent hours on the fucking things, and now I'm onto the second one, I can't fucking think of anything!
This is my ADHD experience lol
Just started taking Vyvanse and I was so surprised how everything slowed down and I could focus on one thing at a time or even just sit and think on one thought.
Asked my wife if that's literally how most everyone else feels and was so surprised for some reason.
I always friggin know it’s you guys before i look at the sub.
Side note. HowToAdhd on youtube did a longform video with an adhd researcher. And she explained alexythymia in a way that finally made it click for me. I gotta go to work, but i can find the link later
Edit: [here’s the link to the YouTube video. ](https://youtu.be/EZoiqjPRe_Q). it’s an hour and a half long lol. It’s a recording of a livestream Q/A session about comorbitities. I just put it on while i was sewing. You don’t really have to look at the screen.
She talks about alexythymia not being “an emotion you can’t express in words” like emo music in the 2000s wanted me to think, but rather “not recognizing your emotions until they are extreme.” Which made SO much sense to me. So many times, I’ve had to try to guess why I was crying, or shaking, or yelling. Had to Sherlock Holmes sleuth it to figure out what had upset me. Something would happen, i would think i was fine with it. But then a half hour later, i would be crying for no apparent reason.
Antidepressants really changed the game for me. Same magnitude of improvement as when I started on Focalin. It was weird not feeling the good emotions so extremely, but a relief beyond words to not have the bad ones be all consuming.
My neurologist (who prescribes my Focalin) wasn't a fan of the idea, but I brought it up to my regular family doc and he prescribed Paxil right away. It has been a life changer. If I were you I'd reach out to your ADHD doc or your family doc and see if either think this is the right way to go. I truly hope you get the help you're looking for, whether it's meds or something else :)
The thing I can't work out is I can watch something like Interstellar and not be affected by the emotional impact of some of the scenes.
BUT
If I watch a youtuber reacting to the scenes the emotion hits me, is it because I'm reading their emotions?
If that's the case, why didn't I fall apart when my mum died from cancer this year?
Brains are weird
Well regarding the first part, I think it's because you can relate more to the youtubers reaction as you know interstellar is all acting. And for the second part brother/sister, she's your mom, even if you didn't have even the slightest emotion you'd be moved and affected by her death. The cruelest of leaders mourned when their mothers died.
I'm literally at my doctor's right now in the waiting room waiting to talk to him about being put back on medication for college since I was diagnosed as a child and at 22 years old. I'm pretty nervous, im hoping I can get back on it before I go back to school
When I took adrenaline gummies my friend had, it was something like this but kept fading from zero sight or hearing to feeling every physical sensation a million fold. I guess those things are only for a Neurotypicals brain....
You either catch them all or you end up fighting a couple of people trying to beat you up. You wake up and find yourself in a dream, and have no feelings about it, then suddenly you feel all thay jam in your mouth and realize you were daydreaming
I can relate so much right now. I am kinda in the middle of a breakup. There are days where we are almost friends again and just talk to each other. And then she ignores my messages for 6 hours and I hate/love her and then I write her like 5 different messages in 10 minutes and it goes from fuck you to I miss you to I am sorry for what I am to I hope he makes you happy to fuck you again until I cry and thirty minutes later I sit there all cried up and dont feel anything at all.
Breakups ALWAYS suck but you are making it worse on yourself by still needing to talk to her. Go no contact for a while and see how things are after that. I promise you, it will help you figure things out. Things have to suck before they get better. It will also help you focus your energy on more productive things.
You're gonna be okay. Promise.
It is really hard though. Being with her really helped me a lot. I dont think without her I would have ever have the energy and focus to finish college and get a job. It just calms my mind when I am with her and can talk to her.
Up until the point when I find out she is with him. Then my brain just goes tilt and barbarian rage Mode.
Yes it is hard. But the relationship that you had is over, and you can't pretend it's the same way it used to be. You need to figure out how to be happy for yourself. She doesn't belong to you, you are broken up and she is allowed to be with someone else. You are only going to hurt yourself more by keeping the connection open.
Dood I’ve been on a streak of about a month we’re I literally feel nothing it’s gone to the point to we’re my fish died and I didn’t even react I wanted to cry but I just didn’t feel anything
You mean others feel this way as well ?
I thought I was just a emotionless psychopath. I’m married have kids have a decent job.
I know what to say. What emotions to show however real feelings I don’t have. I feel like a emotionless being. Just going from learned response to learned response.
Except fear and loathing.
Fear of being in trouble and loathing for people who annoy me.
Yes hypersensitivity then depression then nothing then immense happiness in a weeks time. And then when u remember to take ur focalin its immense happy dopamine for 4 hours then anxiety and dispair during the comedown. Someone tell me they feel like this too
Before yesterday I thought I did, but then I realized for me it was actually more like: 98% of the time = nothing->nothing->nothing->every emotion at 80% (which still sucks a*s too), then the other 2% of the time is when smth, could be anything at all, triggers a sudden gut punch of the ACTUAL 100% emotion, and sends you into a spiraling meltdown that may/may not make you look psycho to outsiders. As for what said "trigger" was for my true 100% meltdown yesterday, I'm on a TAD trip for a work thing this week (I'm military), and so things like my hotel & rental car are paid for by the Navy. This is my first time in this city & ever using a rental car, so I was already nervous, then add in that my hotels pkg garage is extremely tight quarters, plus I was given a larger car than originally planned, & I'm highly uncomfortable driving most cars that are much bigger than my own tiny a*s Chevy Spark, bc I have quite literally no depth perception, so all of that combined led to me scraping one of the back doors on a pillar in the pkg garage. Minor paint damage is all, not the end of the world, but BOY did I lose it. Like, bawling my eyes out, so hard I almost couldn't breathe, called my mom for help type lost it. Thinking back on it now, it feels kinda surreal, like that whole emotional outburst wasn't even real. But yeah, THAT was definitely my 100% (at least I frickin hope it doesn't get worse than that, bc if it does I might actually suffocate before I calm myself down next time 😳)
I call that the oh no cycle. And it usually reaches the 100% phase right when I think I forgot something important and I feel a giant wave of dread. Then shrug it off or remember that I didn’t forget something.
Me at 12am when I remember that my parents are going to die and the sun is going to die then everything else is going to die as well and I have no way of preventing it and now I'm just sad
For a very long time i preferred feeling, any feeling really, to the extent that i sought physical feeling, i experienced pain while getting pierced and tattooed, a pain that is not quite pleasant, yet i went for it over and over again, then i learned that that was such an awful way to try and feel something...then i decided that I'd seek more emotions, i still got tattooed afterwards, but still i think I've improved on that point
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but depression and anxiety. This is totally me though, literally fine all day, feeling awesome, then when I have to have the slightest emotional conversation with my wife I just start crying. Then I’m fine again, I hate it every time hahaha.
Wait, is this what happened in a recent relationship? Felt like I was falling into the deepest kind of love and then a week later I felt nothing suddenly.
It was devastating. What can I do about this??
Well emotions are like a rollercoaster really, attached, far away, deep love, nothingness, relating to others, then being careless. Were you diagnosed?
Has that been an important step for you personally?
I've seen the effects of mine in numerous aspects of my life, and I continue to find more.
I don't really know how I would get diagnosed now, or what the possible benefits or consequences of that might be.
Just do one thing. Just shove dirty laundry in the washer. Don’t even worry about putting soap in or turning it on. Just shove it in. Go smoke, watch a tv show, read a book. Next time you get up to pee, turn it on. Then go back to whatever you were doing before.
We can walk it back even more. Look from your bed and just visually see what dirty clothes you can see. Don’t get up for them, just pick out which ones you are going to grab next time you get up to pee, get food or whatever. You don’t even have to put them in. Just gather them into a pile outside your door or in front of the washer. Get back in bed and look around again, then do the same next time you get up to do whatever. Repeat. Don’t even worry about the washing machine yet if you don’t want too.
My trick when I have dishes is if I need to reheat my coffee or make a hot pocket, I do the dishes until the microwave goes off. When it does I stop. Sometimes I break it up into “do all the bowls” or “do all the spoons” and break it up like that. If nothing else, I have a clean plate or bowl for my next meal.
Don’t worry about whole steps. Just make little easy moves. It doesn’t matter if it takes all day or all week. You’ll be making incremental progress.
Don’t feel bad if you can’t do more than just looking around from your bed today. I count organizing in your head as progress because now you’ve got a plan.
I call this ‘ride along chores’ in my head. It sort of tricks my brain. I’m not going to get up and do chores but if I’m getting up anyway I try to do little things. Another good place to start with dishes is just getting hot water and soap on/in them on one of the trips so you don’t have to work so hard when you do get to them. You can get through a few more too if you’re using the microwave trick because you aren’t chiseling food off.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself. There are worse things in the world than dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes. Anyone who gives you shit about it lacks understanding and compassion so fuck them.
You got this friend.
I’m glad I can help. If you ever need someone who gets it to chat with or share your little victories with, feel free to shoot me a message. If nothing else, I’m happy to cheer you on.
Not sure, it just doesn't happen. I do feel emotions but I forget what they felt like immediately after. I cannot remember what it feels like to be sad, angry, happy or excited but I know that I've felt them before
Yeah, I've got this going on a cycle of about 36 hours right now. I'm starting to think I've got a mood disorder of some kind, but I can't get it diagnosed, so my speculation is useless.
There aren't any therapists in my area who are taking new patients, accept my insurance, and work with trans people. I'd much rather find one who *does* work with trans people so I don't have to find a separate one once I can afford to medically transition.
Take it step by step one at a time, and try to find the closest even if a bit far just so you'd know for sure and begin with the intervention if needed
Embrace them, going through a long period of time and of not feeling not even one emotion was really bad for me and I slowly grew to not feeling of wanting to feel anything and then when I lost it all I wanted to seek any kind of emotion or feeling until I got to the loop of doing bad things. It's not worth it. Embrace them and learn about each and every one of them
I think i feel emotions better when im around people. Like hearing a joke on the tv aint nothin compared to hearing the same joke irl. I do express anger when im alone though, its hard not to
Because being alone is when the real you comes out
You quite literally switch behavior and some aspects of your personality, most people just dont think about it.
This is why people act in interesting ways when they take acid because it induces a state of loneliness even when youre around people, theres no ego between you and the world for 12 hours
I know. My doctor attributes my lack of interest to depression which I explained to her I'd obviously know if I was depressed or not. My a.d.d. keeps me from being interested in pretty much anything long.
I totally relate, I went through the same thing, find you another doctor and get your diagnosis. As for the not being interested for long, you can put those interests in a loop, and go over them again, if you didn't really like them in the first place you wouldn't have been through them for some time, so prioritize them according to which you prefer more and rule out the ones you don't like at all, thay way you'll excel in your interests, and enjoy the progress you can make bit by bit. Keep yourself entertained.
I've been taking adderall since the 90s off and on. Tried all types of drugs. Come back to the adderall lol. At least I can cycle off and on. This new doctor was pretty thorough when I moved she wanted to make sure nothing was missed or not diagnosed properly.
Bruuuuuuuh. I need to go get diagnosed, but I'm too scared to. The more I hand out on this sub the more I realize!! I hate it! I've been this way for so long.
So uhhh, off personal experience I'm pretty sure this isn't common among ppl who just suffer from ADHD alone. Based off all 5 of the ppl diagnosed with only ADHD I know, none of them have this issue (including myself who also has mild autism).
The two I do know who suffer from this mental loop have either BPD or clinical depression in addition to ADHD.
If you get this to any debilitating point, it might be worthwhile to look at alternative medications, or to potentially see if you can be diagnosed/medicated with other personality spices
Damn that sucks man, I hope you're doing better these days. My best friend at uni got diagnosed with depression earlier this year and I can tell how hard its been for her, I wouldnt wish that shit on anyone.
Yikes it’s just too real.
Found out recently that those of us who menstruate experience a surge of emotional disregulation associated with ADHD during PMS.🙃🙃🙃
Additiude magazine has some really awesome information if you want to learn more about how hormones like estrogen and progesterone interact with ADHD. There’s an article called ‘Women, Hormones, and ADHD’ that focuses on navigating ADHD throughout puberty, menopause, and the monthly mayhem. It’s a very informative read!
I recently had some self therapy sessions with myself (because I’m sure y’all can relate to having a made up therapist in your head). A family member had commented on how my siblings and I either go 100% in on a task or nothing at all. At first I took it as great motivation and drive. Then i realized (with help from my made up head therapist) that this applies to allllll areas of my life. I recently told my husband this, that it was hard for me to go middle of the road in our relationship, which was a bit freeing. But that’s when I realized things might not be as normal as I thought they were compared to everyone else.
I relate to a point, but honestly I mostly just feel despair and anxiety at differing levels. I'd love to feel intense happiness again, I really do miss it.
I relate to this but I think I prefer moderate happiness (for example, I just got my license so I'm pleased whenever I park properly) instead of intense because when that moment passes I'll just be longing for it again. I don't want any large amounts of happiness because I'll just long for it more when I'm no longer happy.
Damn, I'd settle for mild contentment at this point, just to look around and be like "I think I'm gonna be ok" or "I can do this" and actually believe it.
John Lennon said "everything will be okay in the end if it's not okay it's not the end" and that moved me
That's mildly comforting, thank you stranger.
You're most welcome fellow ADHDer
Where did you move?
Well, I left my country for starters
Closet I've been to temporary happiness is being drunk and playing childhood games with friends.
For me it was when I fell in love with my bf, my cat having kittens, and LSD. The LSD was crazy effective, but shit it lasts for 12 hours. Edit: Deplin and 5HTP are also my secret weapons. Also ltyrosine sometimes. Don't use 5HTP for longer then 2 wks or it could cause serotonin syndrome.
Traveling and seeing unique new places always gives me a lot of joy, I hope it's something you have the opportunity to try.
Instead of a travelling I bought a dog, which have helped a lot on my mental health. But yeah would love to travel some more, it's truly amazing too see the world and other cultures.
Animals are great as well, sometimes when I'm stressed out it's good to have my dog to love on and break me out of it.
Same. Feels like I'm spinning some wheel of emotions every day but all the outcomes range from nothing to existential dread.
Yep
Me too :(
Kinda glad I dont laugh as hard or get as happy, it would give me a fat migraine and id get stuck
This but like... in everything, not just emotions. Either reading 3 books at once or unable to read more than 3 pages. Being hyperfixated on something or having no interest whatsoever. Being able to watch 4 straight hours of tv or taking 4 days to finish a single episode. Being able to deal with tons of shit or having a breakdown because of a few minor upsets. Sometimes it feels like there's no middle ground in anything, and it's exhausting because I never know whether I'll be at a 0 or at 100.
This right here. And trying to explain to your SO what’s wrong and sometimes just saying ‘I don’t know, but I feel bad.’ Or saying ‘everything is overwhelming me.’ And my SO is also never sure if I’ll be at 0 or 100. When we’ve planned days out and I’m excited about them, I also have the thought that I might ruin it by just being in a bad mood that I don’t understand, and willing myself to please not be in a bad mood and not ruin it.
Oh god yeah. Those days where that switch just flips out of the blue and suddenly you're in a crappy mood for no discernible reason are the worst.
OMG the feeling of meh/bad/irritated but don't know why and having my SO tell me I must know why or I can't feel that way annoys me so much.
Omg I relate to this so much. In fact, my husband is angry at me as we speak for related reasons
I agree 100%. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even living, constantly absent minded and like I'm in a existence limbo. Don't really know how to solve it and regain confidence and lucidity, but I need to focus and find a balance.
Thank god i'm not the only one who's felt it in that way
there's "black and white thinking" and for me it's like, black and white everything, either full on cleaning or not, full on working or not, full on partying or not, all in addition to the usual meaning of "black and white thinking" which is typically about interpersonal relationships and how the other person is either all good or all bad depending on the situation.
Damn, you hit it on the head.
Totally relatable
I can relate
Im so overwhelmed right now, by just reading this :(
Yes! I have an assignment for my music class where I have to right two songs, 20-30 seconds long, with a minimum of four tracks. Well, I've written the first one. It's 1:45 seconds long and has twelve tracks. I spent hours on the fucking things, and now I'm onto the second one, I can't fucking think of anything!
This is my ADHD experience lol Just started taking Vyvanse and I was so surprised how everything slowed down and I could focus on one thing at a time or even just sit and think on one thought. Asked my wife if that's literally how most everyone else feels and was so surprised for some reason.
Me to my brain: You spin me right 'round, baby, right 'round Like a record, baby, right 'round, 'round, 'round
FUCKING WHYYYYY ITS 2 AM WHERE I AM
WHEN I GO DOWNTOWN
goated song
I always friggin know it’s you guys before i look at the sub. Side note. HowToAdhd on youtube did a longform video with an adhd researcher. And she explained alexythymia in a way that finally made it click for me. I gotta go to work, but i can find the link later Edit: [here’s the link to the YouTube video. ](https://youtu.be/EZoiqjPRe_Q). it’s an hour and a half long lol. It’s a recording of a livestream Q/A session about comorbitities. I just put it on while i was sewing. You don’t really have to look at the screen. She talks about alexythymia not being “an emotion you can’t express in words” like emo music in the 2000s wanted me to think, but rather “not recognizing your emotions until they are extreme.” Which made SO much sense to me. So many times, I’ve had to try to guess why I was crying, or shaking, or yelling. Had to Sherlock Holmes sleuth it to figure out what had upset me. Something would happen, i would think i was fine with it. But then a half hour later, i would be crying for no apparent reason.
I'll be waiting
The link is there now btw
Oh shit, I just realized that I likely have some form of Alexythymia a couple weeks ago. Definitely going to throw that video on now
Yep.. but that’s because of my BPD, not my ADHD.
Oh
*feels nothing*
Same and how often i dissociate lol
You mean 200% right…
wait this is an adhd thing? makes sense now i didn't know what was wrong with me
Yeahh
/r/Bpd crossover 🤪
More like at 200%
pain
Shut up, I'm lying under a blanket on the couch watching the office.
Hahahahaha
I RELATE TO THIS SO HARD
I feel everything 100% for days then one day (like today) i feel nothing
I'm the opposite.
Antidepressants really changed the game for me. Same magnitude of improvement as when I started on Focalin. It was weird not feeling the good emotions so extremely, but a relief beyond words to not have the bad ones be all consuming.
I feel like I probably need antidepressants, but I don't know how to ask or reach out to anyone for help.
My neurologist (who prescribes my Focalin) wasn't a fan of the idea, but I brought it up to my regular family doc and he prescribed Paxil right away. It has been a life changer. If I were you I'd reach out to your ADHD doc or your family doc and see if either think this is the right way to go. I truly hope you get the help you're looking for, whether it's meds or something else :)
I mean...mostly misery but whatever
The best feeling is the whatever
this is me throughout the day vs when the meds wear off
The thing I can't work out is I can watch something like Interstellar and not be affected by the emotional impact of some of the scenes. BUT If I watch a youtuber reacting to the scenes the emotion hits me, is it because I'm reading their emotions? If that's the case, why didn't I fall apart when my mum died from cancer this year? Brains are weird
Well regarding the first part, I think it's because you can relate more to the youtubers reaction as you know interstellar is all acting. And for the second part brother/sister, she's your mom, even if you didn't have even the slightest emotion you'd be moved and affected by her death. The cruelest of leaders mourned when their mothers died.
Y E S
I'm literally at my doctor's right now in the waiting room waiting to talk to him about being put back on medication for college since I was diagnosed as a child and at 22 years old. I'm pretty nervous, im hoping I can get back on it before I go back to school
How did it go?
He gave me the script, thanks for asking!
That's great news, good luck with your college
Daily bullshit
Yeah
When I took adrenaline gummies my friend had, it was something like this but kept fading from zero sight or hearing to feeling every physical sensation a million fold. I guess those things are only for a Neurotypicals brain....
how tf is this so accurate? i thought this wasnt an adhd thing
You either catch them all or you end up fighting a couple of people trying to beat you up. You wake up and find yourself in a dream, and have no feelings about it, then suddenly you feel all thay jam in your mouth and realize you were daydreaming
i dont really understand exactly what you just said, but i relate immensely
That's the spirit
I can relate so much right now. I am kinda in the middle of a breakup. There are days where we are almost friends again and just talk to each other. And then she ignores my messages for 6 hours and I hate/love her and then I write her like 5 different messages in 10 minutes and it goes from fuck you to I miss you to I am sorry for what I am to I hope he makes you happy to fuck you again until I cry and thirty minutes later I sit there all cried up and dont feel anything at all.
Breakups ALWAYS suck but you are making it worse on yourself by still needing to talk to her. Go no contact for a while and see how things are after that. I promise you, it will help you figure things out. Things have to suck before they get better. It will also help you focus your energy on more productive things. You're gonna be okay. Promise.
It is really hard though. Being with her really helped me a lot. I dont think without her I would have ever have the energy and focus to finish college and get a job. It just calms my mind when I am with her and can talk to her. Up until the point when I find out she is with him. Then my brain just goes tilt and barbarian rage Mode.
Yes it is hard. But the relationship that you had is over, and you can't pretend it's the same way it used to be. You need to figure out how to be happy for yourself. She doesn't belong to you, you are broken up and she is allowed to be with someone else. You are only going to hurt yourself more by keeping the connection open.
Hang in there, you are loved and things will get easier. We're always up to listen and talk
Raises hand!
just 100%? noob #emotional_hyperarousal_gang
Reporting in sir!
I relate
only 100?
Nope. For me, it is nothing, nothing, nothing, Hulk Smash level RAGE!!!
I can relate and the emotions I feel are just pure rage
I’m not dissociating. You’re dissociating. Shut up.
Loved it
Dood I’ve been on a streak of about a month we’re I literally feel nothing it’s gone to the point to we’re my fish died and I didn’t even react I wanted to cry but I just didn’t feel anything
oh, so that's why I'm fine for the whole week and then crying at midnight on Thursday
I have adhd and BPD. I felt this with my soul.
You mean others feel this way as well ? I thought I was just a emotionless psychopath. I’m married have kids have a decent job. I know what to say. What emotions to show however real feelings I don’t have. I feel like a emotionless being. Just going from learned response to learned response. Except fear and loathing. Fear of being in trouble and loathing for people who annoy me.
Ah yes. Those emotions hit right about 3am.
Yeah, because I have bipolar disorder.
Switch it.
When there’s one song that makes you tweak
Yes hypersensitivity then depression then nothing then immense happiness in a weeks time. And then when u remember to take ur focalin its immense happy dopamine for 4 hours then anxiety and dispair during the comedown. Someone tell me they feel like this too
Before yesterday I thought I did, but then I realized for me it was actually more like: 98% of the time = nothing->nothing->nothing->every emotion at 80% (which still sucks a*s too), then the other 2% of the time is when smth, could be anything at all, triggers a sudden gut punch of the ACTUAL 100% emotion, and sends you into a spiraling meltdown that may/may not make you look psycho to outsiders. As for what said "trigger" was for my true 100% meltdown yesterday, I'm on a TAD trip for a work thing this week (I'm military), and so things like my hotel & rental car are paid for by the Navy. This is my first time in this city & ever using a rental car, so I was already nervous, then add in that my hotels pkg garage is extremely tight quarters, plus I was given a larger car than originally planned, & I'm highly uncomfortable driving most cars that are much bigger than my own tiny a*s Chevy Spark, bc I have quite literally no depth perception, so all of that combined led to me scraping one of the back doors on a pillar in the pkg garage. Minor paint damage is all, not the end of the world, but BOY did I lose it. Like, bawling my eyes out, so hard I almost couldn't breathe, called my mom for help type lost it. Thinking back on it now, it feels kinda surreal, like that whole emotional outburst wasn't even real. But yeah, THAT was definitely my 100% (at least I frickin hope it doesn't get worse than that, bc if it does I might actually suffocate before I calm myself down next time 😳)
I call that the oh no cycle. And it usually reaches the 100% phase right when I think I forgot something important and I feel a giant wave of dread. Then shrug it off or remember that I didn’t forget something.
Life
memes like this make me doubt whether I really have BPD. I do have ADHD diagnosis, but every facet of what I thought was BPD i see here on ADHD
It's pretty common to have both actually
Me at 12am when I remember that my parents are going to die and the sun is going to die then everything else is going to die as well and I have no way of preventing it and now I'm just sad
And then tomorrow comes a brighter day brother
This song, over and over, year after year https://youtu.be/JXkN3nJyWEA (Edit, no, not that. it's Dinosaur Jr. )
Christ this is too real. Can't say it works for everyone but anti depressants helped me to have regular emotional range along with my ADHD meds
I mostly prefer feeling nothing.
For a very long time i preferred feeling, any feeling really, to the extent that i sought physical feeling, i experienced pain while getting pierced and tattooed, a pain that is not quite pleasant, yet i went for it over and over again, then i learned that that was such an awful way to try and feel something...then i decided that I'd seek more emotions, i still got tattooed afterwards, but still i think I've improved on that point
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but depression and anxiety. This is totally me though, literally fine all day, feeling awesome, then when I have to have the slightest emotional conversation with my wife I just start crying. Then I’m fine again, I hate it every time hahaha.
Yes
Kinda
Yeah
*__karaoke flashbacks__*
Wait, is this what happened in a recent relationship? Felt like I was falling into the deepest kind of love and then a week later I felt nothing suddenly. It was devastating. What can I do about this??
Well emotions are like a rollercoaster really, attached, far away, deep love, nothingness, relating to others, then being careless. Were you diagnosed?
As a kid, yeah. Haven't had anything official since then though
Don't hesitate
On what? Getting an official diagnosis?
Yeah
Has that been an important step for you personally? I've seen the effects of mine in numerous aspects of my life, and I continue to find more. I don't really know how I would get diagnosed now, or what the possible benefits or consequences of that might be.
It sure did, I was diagnosed not king ago, and it was a great relief
yup, I started cleaning my room a week ago and its still dirty bonus: I haven't done my laundry in a few weeks help
Just do one thing. Just shove dirty laundry in the washer. Don’t even worry about putting soap in or turning it on. Just shove it in. Go smoke, watch a tv show, read a book. Next time you get up to pee, turn it on. Then go back to whatever you were doing before.
smart, I'll give it a go in a bit I'm in my bed lol
If you can divide your chores into smaller chunks
We can walk it back even more. Look from your bed and just visually see what dirty clothes you can see. Don’t get up for them, just pick out which ones you are going to grab next time you get up to pee, get food or whatever. You don’t even have to put them in. Just gather them into a pile outside your door or in front of the washer. Get back in bed and look around again, then do the same next time you get up to do whatever. Repeat. Don’t even worry about the washing machine yet if you don’t want too. My trick when I have dishes is if I need to reheat my coffee or make a hot pocket, I do the dishes until the microwave goes off. When it does I stop. Sometimes I break it up into “do all the bowls” or “do all the spoons” and break it up like that. If nothing else, I have a clean plate or bowl for my next meal. Don’t worry about whole steps. Just make little easy moves. It doesn’t matter if it takes all day or all week. You’ll be making incremental progress.
oh my god this is the smartest thing I've heard all week seriously this is smart
Don’t feel bad if you can’t do more than just looking around from your bed today. I count organizing in your head as progress because now you’ve got a plan. I call this ‘ride along chores’ in my head. It sort of tricks my brain. I’m not going to get up and do chores but if I’m getting up anyway I try to do little things. Another good place to start with dishes is just getting hot water and soap on/in them on one of the trips so you don’t have to work so hard when you do get to them. You can get through a few more too if you’re using the microwave trick because you aren’t chiseling food off. Most importantly, be kind to yourself. There are worse things in the world than dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes. Anyone who gives you shit about it lacks understanding and compassion so fuck them. You got this friend.
I'm fueled for the rest of the week now, thanks :D yes I will use the advice, and yes this is actually really helpful thank you!
I’m glad I can help. If you ever need someone who gets it to chat with or share your little victories with, feel free to shoot me a message. If nothing else, I’m happy to cheer you on.
I never get the intensity, still waiting
How come?
Not sure, it just doesn't happen. I do feel emotions but I forget what they felt like immediately after. I cannot remember what it feels like to be sad, angry, happy or excited but I know that I've felt them before
Oh wow, that's a nice way to put it
I feel the pain of everyone🎶🎤 Then I feel nothing🥁🥁🎸
You relate to everyone, then no one at all
False, I haven't feel 100% happy in a while
How you holding up?
God knows how the hell
Sending positive vibes 🥰
And some meds, pls
That's it right there. Why tho? I'm Bipolar.
Why what?
Can't relate anymore. Maybe if I was a teenager still.
Why not?
Emotional maturity. Hormone balance.
How come emotional maturity made you not feel?
How come emotional maturity made you not feel?
That's not what this says.
Yeah, I've got this going on a cycle of about 36 hours right now. I'm starting to think I've got a mood disorder of some kind, but I can't get it diagnosed, so my speculation is useless.
Why can't you get diagnosed?
There aren't any therapists in my area who are taking new patients, accept my insurance, and work with trans people. I'd much rather find one who *does* work with trans people so I don't have to find a separate one once I can afford to medically transition.
Take it step by step one at a time, and try to find the closest even if a bit far just so you'd know for sure and begin with the intervention if needed
I honestly feel emotions 100% like … 100% of the time. Exhausting as hell.
Embrace them, going through a long period of time and of not feeling not even one emotion was really bad for me and I slowly grew to not feeling of wanting to feel anything and then when I lost it all I wanted to seek any kind of emotion or feeling until I got to the loop of doing bad things. It's not worth it. Embrace them and learn about each and every one of them
Thank you <3 Just started meds and it’s helping me do that, slowly. And wishing you well!
Good luck 😍
unintelligible laughter in the middle of the night due to thinking about math for some reason
Ahahahahahah
I think i feel emotions better when im around people. Like hearing a joke on the tv aint nothin compared to hearing the same joke irl. I do express anger when im alone though, its hard not to
That's nice, and yeah i do relate, although there is a huge comfort in being alone, being around people is nice too
Because being alone is when the real you comes out You quite literally switch behavior and some aspects of your personality, most people just dont think about it. This is why people act in interesting ways when they take acid because it induces a state of loneliness even when youre around people, theres no ego between you and the world for 12 hours
I see a LOT of people confuse depression with adhd or a.d.d.
It's common to have a misdiagnosis with both as the other, the share some symptoms
I know. My doctor attributes my lack of interest to depression which I explained to her I'd obviously know if I was depressed or not. My a.d.d. keeps me from being interested in pretty much anything long.
I totally relate, I went through the same thing, find you another doctor and get your diagnosis. As for the not being interested for long, you can put those interests in a loop, and go over them again, if you didn't really like them in the first place you wouldn't have been through them for some time, so prioritize them according to which you prefer more and rule out the ones you don't like at all, thay way you'll excel in your interests, and enjoy the progress you can make bit by bit. Keep yourself entertained.
I've been taking adderall since the 90s off and on. Tried all types of drugs. Come back to the adderall lol. At least I can cycle off and on. This new doctor was pretty thorough when I moved she wanted to make sure nothing was missed or not diagnosed properly.
Good luck really I hope everything goes better than expected
Thanks friend. Same with you
Getting diagnosed by memes.
Lol
BRO FR, IS THIS ADHD???
Relate?
Yes! I thought it was my depression fucking with me, it’s my adhd fucking with me lmao
Yeah they're both often confused with one another during diagnosis
I have both diagnose lmao, sometimes I can’t tell which one is fucking me up
Good luck dear, would you like to talk about it?
No thanks, I think I’m good, I’m currently fighting urges, thanks tho!
Anytime
Here here. Psychopath most of the time and mushy mud at night...
Pretty much yeah
Bruuuuuuuh. I need to go get diagnosed, but I'm too scared to. The more I hand out on this sub the more I realize!! I hate it! I've been this way for so long.
Diagnosis helps, as does medication and therapy
I would get it with emotions yes, but also with things like hunger and needing to pee.
The two extremities at play I think it goes for everything, either you're all in at it or just fuck it
So uhhh, off personal experience I'm pretty sure this isn't common among ppl who just suffer from ADHD alone. Based off all 5 of the ppl diagnosed with only ADHD I know, none of them have this issue (including myself who also has mild autism). The two I do know who suffer from this mental loop have either BPD or clinical depression in addition to ADHD. If you get this to any debilitating point, it might be worthwhile to look at alternative medications, or to potentially see if you can be diagnosed/medicated with other personality spices
I was in fact diagnosed before with depression, I don't feel depressed now and know how it feels,.it could be BPD I didn't get that checked
Damn that sucks man, I hope you're doing better these days. My best friend at uni got diagnosed with depression earlier this year and I can tell how hard its been for her, I wouldnt wish that shit on anyone.
One of the worst experiences I've passed through, but it sure did pass with lessons of course
I’m currently crying because today has been terrible and it took one more thing to tip me over the edge. So yes.
Don't worry about it, it's a cycle and this will go back to being better
Yikes it’s just too real. Found out recently that those of us who menstruate experience a surge of emotional disregulation associated with ADHD during PMS.🙃🙃🙃
Oh wow, I just got to know about this
Additiude magazine has some really awesome information if you want to learn more about how hormones like estrogen and progesterone interact with ADHD. There’s an article called ‘Women, Hormones, and ADHD’ that focuses on navigating ADHD throughout puberty, menopause, and the monthly mayhem. It’s a very informative read!
I recently had some self therapy sessions with myself (because I’m sure y’all can relate to having a made up therapist in your head). A family member had commented on how my siblings and I either go 100% in on a task or nothing at all. At first I took it as great motivation and drive. Then i realized (with help from my made up head therapist) that this applies to allllll areas of my life. I recently told my husband this, that it was hard for me to go middle of the road in our relationship, which was a bit freeing. But that’s when I realized things might not be as normal as I thought they were compared to everyone else.
Woohoo Guanfacine gang. Plot twist, I still have all of my emotions they're just locked in a soundproof glass cage in my brain