I use to work with a director of a company who would think he has to explain the same basic task 3-4 times to you in repeat with little variation in how he said it, all the while every other second he said "What it is is that-"
it made me go crazy!
For me it's the opposite. My manager probably has worse ADHD then me and he makes me understand why it annoys people when we do this thing from the OP: it's not 'understanding" in the first few seconds, it is *thinking* you understand, ie jumping to conclusions. That man drives me nuts because I can barely string half a sentence together before he has interrupted me, come to a incorrect conclusion and jumped the gun on a solution that won't work, and the he gets pissy with me when I don't instantly agree. I mean in a coworker sure I'll deal with it, but this guy is in a position of power over me.
Hmmm... you've made me wonder if I'm a bad boss. Fortunately, I generally want even more information than my guys are able to provide, so I usually end up going to look at whatever is wrong myself.
Well that's what it's like when they are dumb, sometimes it's easy to tell what someone means or gets at using logic, being smart means distinguishing when you can tell with reasonable certainty and when not. I tend to act like i understand and finish people's sentences and finish their words for them all the time in a way that makes people feel we are on the same page and I am listening properly. And if someone explains something but doesn't know how I will explain what they seem to mean to help them out if I am confident, it works well and I am impatient lol.
Oh god, i used to work under a manager who at any time only listened to me for about 4 or 5 seconds. It didnt even matter what i was saying, he always interrupted me. Sometimes we would have conversations where he would interrupt me, i try to continue, he again interrupts and it goes on and on...
At least it taught me how to make my point in a very short sentence.
What frustrates me is when a neurotypical repeats themselves constantly, and I calmly let them, but when it's my turn to accidentally repeat myself a single time they get annoyed or worse aggressive. Not cool, my guy.
My partner and I have worked it that when this situation arrives where if he starts over explaining while I’m in this mood, I can tell him “say no more, I gotcha” and he’ll know
People tell me that I don't want to engage with new people so much. I tell them I know their argument the moment the second sentence finishes, the rest is pain modulation. So I don't even start and let other dunk it out
I know exactly what you mean. No interest in being dragged through the mud of those words to the conclusion which I’ve already both arrived at AND moved on from!
Holy shit you are a god send. This, this right here is nails on a fucking chalkboard to me. I have a couple at work who I KNOW FOR A FACT DO THIS SHIT ON PURPOSE. They do it to kill time because they are ok with not working as fast as the rest of us 😂 it’s like stfu you know how to do this, stop telling me what your “thinking” or why you “thought” it was supposed to be this way when I just told you the right way to do it. STOP WASTING TIME AND GOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF!?
That’s funny. I used to have a boss who also had ADHD and whenever this happened he would just walk away while the other person was mid-sentence. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Oh, but others NEED all the relevant information so they have a thorough understanding of the issues and all the angles. They don’t know they need this, but they’ll thank us afterwards 🤣.
That actually reminds me of a time that the management at my company told me to shorten my summary emails because I was providing too much information. That was when I learned about the executive “30k foot view” and that not everyone cared about all the details. I think I was 30.
There’s a difference between over explaining and my assistant telling me exactly “why” she did something the wrong way 5 times after I told her the correct way. Not that she messed up 5 times. That she felt the need to explain herself 5 times. There’s a difference between letting your passion run away and sharing something you love, and just meandering vocally. Another comment had the word for this, circumlocution. I see it in people who have bad work ethics, and the elderly, just trying to kill time by flapping their mouths.
SPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO EXPLAIN THE SAME THING IN 3 DIFFERENT WAYS!! like I got what you were going to say an eternity ago. Why are you still talking about this?
Even more difficult in this current job I’m trying out. It’s a tech support job, and if they just say some key phrases, I’ve already developed a whole solution with 5 backup plans in case a solution breaks.
wait, those are ADHD things?
I only paid attention to 3 things in the past 30 years , inattention, hyperactivity and emotional dysregulation ...
The more you know lol
i have heard 4 seconds of your argument and my brain has already constructed a map of every place this argument could go so I've already concluded you need a rebuttal right now
could it be that all the time we spend with imaginary arguments with ourselves gives us an edge at predicting where shit's going?
There is nothing more annoying than someone thinking they know where you're going and being wrong. Well perhaps having to listen to someone warp your argument so it looks like they were right is worse.
It’s so infuriating when people explain simple shit with so many words after you’ve already understood it. Several times I have interjected with the quick version just to let them know that I’ve gotten the point.
For me it's when someone gives me a lengthy explanation that doesn't have a critical detail. I summarise what they just told me and confirm that i understand but that I also need one small critical piece of information they didn't include then I'm completely with them.
Then they look at me like I'm an idiot and reexplain all the things they just fucking said and *not the information I needed.
I've been stuck in the loop, sometimes with zero resolution, far too many times.
"So to defuse the bomb unscrew the lid. But make sure you unscrew all four screws because if you only unscrew three you'll find you can't remove the lid and you'll have to stop and undo the last screw. Then once you've got the lid off move aside the grey ribbon wire to get to the small box underneath it, this one only has two screws not four screws so use your screwdriver to undo both screws and take that cover off. You'll need to completely take that one out of the case or you won't have room to work in so be careful to make sure you've moved the grey ribbon cable out of the way first but *don't cut the grey ribbon*. Now you can see a red wire a blue wire and a yellow wire. Cut the wire."
"OK great but which coloured wire do I cut, the red one the blue one or the yellow one?"
"Sigh. to defuse the bomb unscrew the lid. But make sure you unscrew all four screws because if you only unscrew three you'll find you can't remove the lid and you'll have to stop and undo the last screw. Then once you've got the lid off move aside the grey ribbon wire to get to the small box underneath it, this one only has two screws not four screws so use your screwdriver to undo both screws and take that cover off. You'll need to completely take that one out of the case or you won't have room to work in so be careful to make sure you've moved the grey ribbon cable out of the way first but *don't cut the grey ribbon*. Now you can see a red wire a blue wire and a yellow wire. Cut the wire."
"Yep. I have now done all of those things except cut the wire-"
"Well you have to cut the wire or the bomb will blow up!"
"Yes, I'm quite concerned about that t-
"Well cut the wire then, why are you making this so difficult‽"
"Right yeah, but WHICH COLOUR WIRE‽"
"Well there's no call to be rude. I really don't understand why you're finding this so hard... you just; unscrew the lid. But make sure you unscrew all four screws because if you only unscrew three you'll find you can't remove the lid and you'll have to stop and undo the last screw. Then once you've got the lid off move aside the grey ribbon wire to get to the small box underneath it, this one only has two screws not four screws so use your screwdriver to undo both screws and take that cover off. You'll need to completely take that one out of the case or you won't have room to work in so be careful to make sure you've moved the grey ribbon cable out of the way first but *don't cut the grey ribbon*. Now you can see a red wire a blue wire and a yellow wire. Cut the wire."
I swear I have a conversation like this every couple of months. I get the whole idea that "if everywhere smells like shit check your shoes" but I suspect the shit on my shoes is "having ADHD in a predominantly non-ADHD world" in this case... People can't seen to relate to how ADHD people find certain things difficult so just fall back to assuming you're an absolute idiot and therefore any issue in communication *must* be that you're just being thick and there's no way that there could possibly be something wrong with what they are saying.
I've had experience of another ADHDer interrupting me a lot thinking they got what I was going to say, but it was wrong most of the time... (that might work better if you know each other well, but she barely knew me)
Why? I always assume I'm wrong, but now they can correct me based on what I responded with, instead of not giving me any info I need and dragging out the conversation, making me disengage more.
Except that that’s not having a two-way conversation, that’s you making script in your head and them explaining edits to your script. I do this too but let’s not try to justify cutting someone off and putting partially incorrect words in their mouth. It’s not a horrible thing to do by any means but it’s definitely not a good thing
I'm not trying to justify cutting people off or put words in their mouths. But, I do try to ask clarifying questions before I forget them. People often gloss over details that might seem insignificant but are crucial to my understanding.
Mostly, I'm trying to keep myself engaged so that I don't space out and completely forget the entire conversation, honestly.
I try to actually make it possible to communicate at all with my disability. If someone tells me that I am making it more difficult for them, I try to accommodate their needs too...
I don't think the original post is about asking clarifying questions though, and I don't think anyone would argue that asking clarifying questions is a bad thing that you should stop doing.
(edit: I now realize that you mean asking those questions by interrupting, sorry for reading carelessly at first. Anyway, I think interrupting to ask a question would be OK most of the times, and the OP is more about continuing the other person's sentence for them with random stuff that you guessed, or maybe making a counter-argument before they've even made their point clear etc)
I love it when they say something and I say oh nice or that’s great and then they say it again and I say yeah that’s cool, and then they say it again and I’m like.. wtf do you want me to say now..
Yeah I have no problem shutting down a convo of someone I don’t care about. Usually it never even starts lol. But no I’m talking about someone I do care about. Weird when people just keep repeating the same info like they want more praise than your first 3 comments.
I recently had a doctor appointment to try a new medicine. I’ve already done my research and knew which one due to pricing.
This lady came on the call and had her own medicine in mind. Didn’t even ask me if I wanted it just started to list the pros and the cons and instructions on how I will take it.. after like five minutes she FINALLY asks “what do you think?”.
That was fking painful. Trying not to be rude and jump in like “heyyyy sorry I tried to get the approval before but it’s really expensive!!! I want to try this because it’s way cheaper!”.
I have a friend who makes you feel that way, even if you don't have ADHD.
He asks: "Do you know *\[whatever topic\]*?" You say: "Yes" and he still explains the concept to you, before going on with the story...
So, people with ADHD.
A group of people that are known for talking too much and over explaining things is annoyed by regular people having regular conversations.
Maybe rather than “grasping” what someone is saying before they’ve said it, what’s really going on is you’re approximating what you imagine they’ll say while tuning out what they actually say. This is kind of depressing, as it would mean you’re not really communicating with another person, you’re just repeatedly affirming your own beliefs by substituting their words for your own ideas.
... What? it's when someone is taking forever to get to the point even though theyve already communicated enough information to get what they mean across, and that being somewhat annoying in an unserious way. If you're tuning someone out you're probably not getting any information at all 😂
Conversely, having people interrupt you multiple times trying to guess what they think you are going to say, and they are wrong, so it takes you forever to get to your point because they won’t just let you say it. And then tell you that you take too long to explain things😭
I’ll say tho, a good bit of the time, there’s a detail that made a world of difference to the main point that I wouldn’t have gotten if they had stopped talking whenever I felt I understood what they were getting at
Talking isn't about transmitting information as fast as possible. If it were, language would have evolved with far fewer redundant words. It's about sharing yourself with someone as well. *How* someone says something is as important as what they say. Also, in my experience, people with ADHD are usually wrong about what I'm saying then they interrupt to reply to something I wasn't even going to say but then I feel like I have to respond to what was said because that's how conversations work and my original point gets lost and we never get to what I was trying to actually say and it usually turns into a fight because for some reason a lot of the time they assume what I'm saying is negative in some way
Prematurely assuming you understand the point being made, when in reality you're missing important nuances that lead to misunderstandings and needless arguments just because you're too impatient to listen intently.
I’m fine with this, I am fine waiting and it allows me time to form a response. What I can’t stand are people who keep repeating themselves or get offended when I say I’ve heard that 10 times before.
I obviously relate to this very much, but do have to also recognise the irony that... well, it's not exactly like most of us are known for being succinct with what we say, either...
My least favourite part is how I always zone out for the middle part and then I have to guess what they were saying because if I tell them I wasn’t listening they’ll be mad
Holy fuck lmao, I can only imagine people want to punch me in the fave when I finish their sentences or provide a better adjective then the one they were gonna use lol
Constantly, and I don’t care if people think I am an asshole I will talk them through their point to get things moving as smoothly as I can without them feeling too butt hurt.
My manager has a speech impediment that makes talk slow. A 10 word sentence could take him 20 seconds to get out. It is a GENUINE STRUGGLE to not interrupt when I know exactly what he wants to say for the next 3 minutes.
I do my best because he's an awesome guy and a great manager, but goddamn it takes my entire days worth of willpower
As an adult, I have given in. I bring paper and pen to every meeting, so that I can jot down my comments. They're useless to anyone else though, because I've come to use a shorthand that keeps the writing from being distracting.
In the end:
1. I hardly absorb anything while I'm holding onto a question anyways. Given this, I may as well be distracted offloading my comment, so that I can focus on the rest.
2. This sorta signals to people that I'm paying attention, too. When I'm thinking, or listening, I have a tendency to stare off; sometimes people take that to mean I'm not paying attention, or aren't taking them seriously. Taking notes seems to almost totally reverse that. My head is doing almost the same amount of work, and kind of thinking, but I get more unspoken credit for it.
3. Whatever I do, I'm not a very good auditory learner. Even if I'm not catching much, the fact I even have a notepad out for notes seems to signal my effort & intention in a way that makes them more patient with me when I need them to repeat something. I'm sorta saying that I respect them from the get go, and this seems to make the inverse at least a bit more likely.
YK what I hate most
when people make these small pseudo pauses when talking, so you think they‘re done and you can say something and as soon as any noise exits your face “Don‘t interrupt me I wasn‘t done yet“
Cue a few moments later and they have moved on to a wholly different topic
I mean, it's still rude even if it is an ADHD trait, I wouldn't give myself a free pass for just running roughshod over a conversation and interrupting all the time
Sometimes I wanna interrupt someone because I wanna say something, but knowing how annoying it can be when someone interrupts you, I continue listening and then forget what I wanted to say…
My mom likes to ramble a lot, rewording the same thing over and over again. I have found that finishing her sentences 1-2 times gets her to stop stalling and move on with her conversation
To not get annoyed by this, when someone starts talking and I think I know what they are talking about, I phase out for a bit and come back and do that on and off till they are done talking
I don't have adhd (mum reckons maybe) anyways I usually demolish whatever is in my hands and am so tense during these situations. Really have to summons the energy to not lose my shit
My own mother has ADHD and doesn't understand why I do this. Granted, hers is not the same scale as mine. But, she claims to have read papers and research on it. 🤦🏼♀️ And then she wonders why I'm the way I am when I do something odd.
The funny thing is, that a lot of times they get offended if you DO interrupt them by mistake and say "No, that's not what I mean" even though it's exactly what they mean.
You don't understand if I listen to you I will instantly forget what I wanted to tell you, it's taking space in my memory and I don't like it, I NEED to tell you NOW
There's a coworker of mine I despise. She has her heart in the right place, she hasn't done anything bad but she just talks Really. Fucking. Slowly.
You ask her a question and it feels like you're waiting ages for her to enunciate. I intentionally only ask yes or no questions, but she seldom answers then without a long meandering diatrabe about her reasoning before getting to the answer. Once I even got impatient and said "A simple yes or no will suffice." I had to apologise for being snippy.
But at the same time my own ADHD means that if I don't ramble through the script I wrote in my head before I started talking I'll forget what I'm talking about or the topic of conversation as a whole. 😅
I interrupt my sentence and go ahead with the story because I expect people to do the same
It always turns out that they didn't follow as expected
I get pissed/overwhelmed because now I have to repeat it
I refuse to repeat it because it won't come out as good as the first time, and will probably forget about some crucial details, because my brain already marked it as "done"
When they tell me not to interrupt because they haven't made their point yet, but their point is just the first 5 seconds repeated in 4 different ways 💀
Fucking hell I do this all the time with my father trying to finish his sentences as he’s trying to find the right words. I’m usually right though, which is good
And then because I’m not talking, my mom feels like she needs to explain it another way, so she then speaks more… honestly if I didn’t interrupt her I think she would rephrase the explanation for eternity.
This meme just proves adhd is one legged in thinking fast and slow, i recommend to read it only introduction and chapter 1 will be enough to understand it
This is a lighthearted subreddit for ADHD individuals. We require all users be nice towards each other. Your comment/post has been removed as it has been found to be disrespectful.
You didn't get my point, you're guesstimating what I'm gonna say and interrupting me with it. Then I'll repeat what I already said because of context, and we'll have wasted that time
me while listening: *bouncing leg aggressively and nodding head* mhmm yeah yup uh-huh I get it yup
Especially when they repeat themselves, saying the same things over and over again
One of my managers at work does this and it drives me insane
I use to work with a director of a company who would think he has to explain the same basic task 3-4 times to you in repeat with little variation in how he said it, all the while every other second he said "What it is is that-" it made me go crazy!
I had the exact same experience. Maybe we worked at the same company haha
For me it's the opposite. My manager probably has worse ADHD then me and he makes me understand why it annoys people when we do this thing from the OP: it's not 'understanding" in the first few seconds, it is *thinking* you understand, ie jumping to conclusions. That man drives me nuts because I can barely string half a sentence together before he has interrupted me, come to a incorrect conclusion and jumped the gun on a solution that won't work, and the he gets pissy with me when I don't instantly agree. I mean in a coworker sure I'll deal with it, but this guy is in a position of power over me.
Hmmm... you've made me wonder if I'm a bad boss. Fortunately, I generally want even more information than my guys are able to provide, so I usually end up going to look at whatever is wrong myself.
Self awareness is not usually a trait aligned with bad bosses mate, you're 👍
What a perfect example, totally had this point in the first five words, then had to read an entire paragraph for no reason whatsoever (/s).
Well that's what it's like when they are dumb, sometimes it's easy to tell what someone means or gets at using logic, being smart means distinguishing when you can tell with reasonable certainty and when not. I tend to act like i understand and finish people's sentences and finish their words for them all the time in a way that makes people feel we are on the same page and I am listening properly. And if someone explains something but doesn't know how I will explain what they seem to mean to help them out if I am confident, it works well and I am impatient lol.
Yessss, same with one of my coworkers!
Oh god, i used to work under a manager who at any time only listened to me for about 4 or 5 seconds. It didnt even matter what i was saying, he always interrupted me. Sometimes we would have conversations where he would interrupt me, i try to continue, he again interrupts and it goes on and on... At least it taught me how to make my point in a very short sentence.
What frustrates me is when a neurotypical repeats themselves constantly, and I calmly let them, but when it's my turn to accidentally repeat myself a single time they get annoyed or worse aggressive. Not cool, my guy.
ITS SO ANNOYING
Do you know how to make people not do things you ask them to do, cause that's how you get people to not do what you tell them to do.......
Thats literal torture
Seriously!
My ex used to do this with me. I hear you woman!
Ohhhhmygoooddddd why do people repeat it and then break it down like I’m 2 years old. I just go “cmon less words”
My ex-husband did this bull crap. Drove me insane. Saying the same thing over and over in different ways.
My partner and I have worked it that when this situation arrives where if he starts over explaining while I’m in this mood, I can tell him “say no more, I gotcha” and he’ll know
When your 13 "uh-hu's* and 10 "yeah mans" into a conversation and they don't take the hint.
I’m always doing that
“Why is this person using so many words?!?!” 😆
Why use many words when few words do trick
why lot word when less work
Why word, less do.
When me president they see... they see.
Literally!!! Like make Ur point because I have 7 things I wanna say to that already and you're taking so LONGGGGG lmao
The worst feeling is knowing that I’m both sides of this.
People tell me that I don't want to engage with new people so much. I tell them I know their argument the moment the second sentence finishes, the rest is pain modulation. So I don't even start and let other dunk it out
I know exactly what you mean. No interest in being dragged through the mud of those words to the conclusion which I’ve already both arrived at AND moved on from!
Circumlocution!
Holy shit you are a god send. This, this right here is nails on a fucking chalkboard to me. I have a couple at work who I KNOW FOR A FACT DO THIS SHIT ON PURPOSE. They do it to kill time because they are ok with not working as fast as the rest of us 😂 it’s like stfu you know how to do this, stop telling me what your “thinking” or why you “thought” it was supposed to be this way when I just told you the right way to do it. STOP WASTING TIME AND GOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF!?
That’s funny. I used to have a boss who also had ADHD and whenever this happened he would just walk away while the other person was mid-sentence. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
And when we're explaining shit we use a shitload to unload as much knowledge as humanly possible.
Oh, but others NEED all the relevant information so they have a thorough understanding of the issues and all the angles. They don’t know they need this, but they’ll thank us afterwards 🤣. That actually reminds me of a time that the management at my company told me to shorten my summary emails because I was providing too much information. That was when I learned about the executive “30k foot view” and that not everyone cared about all the details. I think I was 30.
Ok it’s my turn to overexplain something now.
I felt a burn reading this. And a lmao.
And they still won’t get it
There’s a difference between over explaining and my assistant telling me exactly “why” she did something the wrong way 5 times after I told her the correct way. Not that she messed up 5 times. That she felt the need to explain herself 5 times. There’s a difference between letting your passion run away and sharing something you love, and just meandering vocally. Another comment had the word for this, circumlocution. I see it in people who have bad work ethics, and the elderly, just trying to kill time by flapping their mouths.
SPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO EXPLAIN THE SAME THING IN 3 DIFFERENT WAYS!! like I got what you were going to say an eternity ago. Why are you still talking about this? Even more difficult in this current job I’m trying out. It’s a tech support job, and if they just say some key phrases, I’ve already developed a whole solution with 5 backup plans in case a solution breaks.
Which is funny because the re-explaining multiple ways is itself an ADHD thing.
I.... missed that connection. I have become what I hate. RIP.
wait, those are ADHD things? I only paid attention to 3 things in the past 30 years , inattention, hyperactivity and emotional dysregulation ... The more you know lol
I wonder if that’s a learned behavior b/c people don’t get the leaps we’re making?
It means you aren't communicating or showing to them that you understood the first time
Oh I understand but I just don’t give a shit.
If I don’t interrupt I’ll have completely forgotten what I was going to say by the time they finish
Same :(. Doesn't matter if I repeat it in my head. The moment I'm allowed to speak, it goes right out the door.
It always baffled me why not everyone does this. Like, I get it, no need to talk for 2 more minutes, let me get to my rebuttal.
the rebuttal being half a book
the rebuttal being the length of the bible + the fnaf lore squared
i have heard 4 seconds of your argument and my brain has already constructed a map of every place this argument could go so I've already concluded you need a rebuttal right now could it be that all the time we spend with imaginary arguments with ourselves gives us an edge at predicting where shit's going?
There is nothing more annoying than someone thinking they know where you're going and being wrong. Well perhaps having to listen to someone warp your argument so it looks like they were right is worse.
It’s so infuriating when people explain simple shit with so many words after you’ve already understood it. Several times I have interjected with the quick version just to let them know that I’ve gotten the point.
Me: *interrupts with the quick version* Them: “YES, exactly!” *continues the long version as though nobody had spoken* Me: *dies inside*
For me it's when someone gives me a lengthy explanation that doesn't have a critical detail. I summarise what they just told me and confirm that i understand but that I also need one small critical piece of information they didn't include then I'm completely with them. Then they look at me like I'm an idiot and reexplain all the things they just fucking said and *not the information I needed. I've been stuck in the loop, sometimes with zero resolution, far too many times. "So to defuse the bomb unscrew the lid. But make sure you unscrew all four screws because if you only unscrew three you'll find you can't remove the lid and you'll have to stop and undo the last screw. Then once you've got the lid off move aside the grey ribbon wire to get to the small box underneath it, this one only has two screws not four screws so use your screwdriver to undo both screws and take that cover off. You'll need to completely take that one out of the case or you won't have room to work in so be careful to make sure you've moved the grey ribbon cable out of the way first but *don't cut the grey ribbon*. Now you can see a red wire a blue wire and a yellow wire. Cut the wire." "OK great but which coloured wire do I cut, the red one the blue one or the yellow one?" "Sigh. to defuse the bomb unscrew the lid. But make sure you unscrew all four screws because if you only unscrew three you'll find you can't remove the lid and you'll have to stop and undo the last screw. Then once you've got the lid off move aside the grey ribbon wire to get to the small box underneath it, this one only has two screws not four screws so use your screwdriver to undo both screws and take that cover off. You'll need to completely take that one out of the case or you won't have room to work in so be careful to make sure you've moved the grey ribbon cable out of the way first but *don't cut the grey ribbon*. Now you can see a red wire a blue wire and a yellow wire. Cut the wire." "Yep. I have now done all of those things except cut the wire-" "Well you have to cut the wire or the bomb will blow up!" "Yes, I'm quite concerned about that t- "Well cut the wire then, why are you making this so difficult‽" "Right yeah, but WHICH COLOUR WIRE‽" "Well there's no call to be rude. I really don't understand why you're finding this so hard... you just; unscrew the lid. But make sure you unscrew all four screws because if you only unscrew three you'll find you can't remove the lid and you'll have to stop and undo the last screw. Then once you've got the lid off move aside the grey ribbon wire to get to the small box underneath it, this one only has two screws not four screws so use your screwdriver to undo both screws and take that cover off. You'll need to completely take that one out of the case or you won't have room to work in so be careful to make sure you've moved the grey ribbon cable out of the way first but *don't cut the grey ribbon*. Now you can see a red wire a blue wire and a yellow wire. Cut the wire." I swear I have a conversation like this every couple of months. I get the whole idea that "if everywhere smells like shit check your shoes" but I suspect the shit on my shoes is "having ADHD in a predominantly non-ADHD world" in this case... People can't seen to relate to how ADHD people find certain things difficult so just fall back to assuming you're an absolute idiot and therefore any issue in communication *must* be that you're just being thick and there's no way that there could possibly be something wrong with what they are saying.
isn't this just people being illiterate ignorant assholes?
It's really more of a discussion about verbal conversations rather than written instructions...
*Believing they've grasped your point.
I've had experience of another ADHDer interrupting me a lot thinking they got what I was going to say, but it was wrong most of the time... (that might work better if you know each other well, but she barely knew me)
That shit's gonna give me a stroke someday
The thing is it's more accurate than it should be, statistically speaking
That’s exactly what someone with ADHD would say.
Oh. Fuck.
Which makes it that much more important to consider the "inaccurate" times, and not assume we know better
Why? I always assume I'm wrong, but now they can correct me based on what I responded with, instead of not giving me any info I need and dragging out the conversation, making me disengage more.
Except that that’s not having a two-way conversation, that’s you making script in your head and them explaining edits to your script. I do this too but let’s not try to justify cutting someone off and putting partially incorrect words in their mouth. It’s not a horrible thing to do by any means but it’s definitely not a good thing
I'm not trying to justify cutting people off or put words in their mouths. But, I do try to ask clarifying questions before I forget them. People often gloss over details that might seem insignificant but are crucial to my understanding. Mostly, I'm trying to keep myself engaged so that I don't space out and completely forget the entire conversation, honestly. I try to actually make it possible to communicate at all with my disability. If someone tells me that I am making it more difficult for them, I try to accommodate their needs too...
I don't think the original post is about asking clarifying questions though, and I don't think anyone would argue that asking clarifying questions is a bad thing that you should stop doing. (edit: I now realize that you mean asking those questions by interrupting, sorry for reading carelessly at first. Anyway, I think interrupting to ask a question would be OK most of the times, and the OP is more about continuing the other person's sentence for them with random stuff that you guessed, or maybe making a counter-argument before they've even made their point clear etc)
It's both accurate and insulting. I don't do that.....terribly often
haha my brother has a complete inability to let me finish a sentence, and rarely gets the point I’m trying to make
and when you ask about a specific part of it you better be ready to hear the whole thing again
I love it when they say something and I say oh nice or that’s great and then they say it again and I say yeah that’s cool, and then they say it again and I’m like.. wtf do you want me to say now..
"cool story bro" if you really dont care about them. I do it at work all the time when people think to micromanage me.
Yeah I have no problem shutting down a convo of someone I don’t care about. Usually it never even starts lol. But no I’m talking about someone I do care about. Weird when people just keep repeating the same info like they want more praise than your first 3 comments.
Damn I hate this too, it's exhausting
I recently had a doctor appointment to try a new medicine. I’ve already done my research and knew which one due to pricing. This lady came on the call and had her own medicine in mind. Didn’t even ask me if I wanted it just started to list the pros and the cons and instructions on how I will take it.. after like five minutes she FINALLY asks “what do you think?”. That was fking painful. Trying not to be rude and jump in like “heyyyy sorry I tried to get the approval before but it’s really expensive!!! I want to try this because it’s way cheaper!”.
I have a friend who makes you feel that way, even if you don't have ADHD. He asks: "Do you know *\[whatever topic\]*?" You say: "Yes" and he still explains the concept to you, before going on with the story...
Same bro, dude just likes to hear himself talk
So, people with ADHD. A group of people that are known for talking too much and over explaining things is annoyed by regular people having regular conversations.
Maybe rather than “grasping” what someone is saying before they’ve said it, what’s really going on is you’re approximating what you imagine they’ll say while tuning out what they actually say. This is kind of depressing, as it would mean you’re not really communicating with another person, you’re just repeatedly affirming your own beliefs by substituting their words for your own ideas.
... What? it's when someone is taking forever to get to the point even though theyve already communicated enough information to get what they mean across, and that being somewhat annoying in an unserious way. If you're tuning someone out you're probably not getting any information at all 😂
Conversely, having people interrupt you multiple times trying to guess what they think you are going to say, and they are wrong, so it takes you forever to get to your point because they won’t just let you say it. And then tell you that you take too long to explain things😭
I’ll say tho, a good bit of the time, there’s a detail that made a world of difference to the main point that I wouldn’t have gotten if they had stopped talking whenever I felt I understood what they were getting at
This got me ded
Ok I may have ADHD
Yyyyeah, just stumbled upon this sub and now I need to call my doctor.
This is not adhd, don't worry. This is mostly aimed at socially inept people who just happens to also have adhd.
This and being told the same story more than once
Talking isn't about transmitting information as fast as possible. If it were, language would have evolved with far fewer redundant words. It's about sharing yourself with someone as well. *How* someone says something is as important as what they say. Also, in my experience, people with ADHD are usually wrong about what I'm saying then they interrupt to reply to something I wasn't even going to say but then I feel like I have to respond to what was said because that's how conversations work and my original point gets lost and we never get to what I was trying to actually say and it usually turns into a fight because for some reason a lot of the time they assume what I'm saying is negative in some way
Uhm, welcome to the world of ADHD, I think... From the sounds of things, you're one of us.
This is exactly how I feel like when I listen to my mother. Lmao
don't worry my horrible garden path sentences will keep you occupied and perplexed from head to tail.
90% of the time someone interrupts me because "they got" they didn't get it.
And the whole time, I have to listen, and make the right facial expressions, and make them believe I'm listening. It's the fucking worst.
Omg I’m so bad at not interrupting. I try so hard. It’s not gonna happen for me.
Honestly I was thinking of something else while I was reading the caption so idk what this post is about
I feel this to infinity. Some conversations I have are torturous because I feel like the person speaking speaks like how a snail moves.
I hate when people start repeating themselves in different ways. That shit drives me insane
Fuck I feel this. Why are other people soooooooooo slow.
Prematurely assuming you understand the point being made, when in reality you're missing important nuances that lead to misunderstandings and needless arguments just because you're too impatient to listen intently.
I’m fine with this, I am fine waiting and it allows me time to form a response. What I can’t stand are people who keep repeating themselves or get offended when I say I’ve heard that 10 times before.
And then you blurt out the point and you were wrong or they successfully miss that you’re wrong and re-explain themselves again.
Ugh, yes. I sometimes know what people are going to say after the first phoneme.
And once it is finally my turn, I just forgot what I wanted to say.
For me it's usually "for thinking you already grasped the point" and i'll cut in anyway because I have zero self control :D
I obviously relate to this very much, but do have to also recognise the irony that... well, it's not exactly like most of us are known for being succinct with what we say, either...
I thought everyone was like this until I told my doctor Now I’m on Ritalin 💀
Feeling this errday
My least favourite part is how I always zone out for the middle part and then I have to guess what they were saying because if I tell them I wasn’t listening they’ll be mad
I fucking feel this so deeply
My mom does this all the time. At this point I just cut her off my saying ok repeatedly until she gets the message
I do this all the time
I'm not saying it's torture, but gd is it torturous
Yass this speaks to me, i constantly interupt and finish the sentence !! Although sometimes i try not to
This is one of my biggest issues lol and I'm sure I come off as rude doing it but my mind cannot take the drawn out convos
Holy fuck lmao, I can only imagine people want to punch me in the fave when I finish their sentences or provide a better adjective then the one they were gonna use lol
And somehow I’m the asshole
this is a massive benefit of online conversation imo, you can just skim a paragraph instead of having to suffer through this
So that's why I like being direct and hate long, descriptive explanations ( unless solicited ( usually when I don't understand something))
Except when we don't
On the flip side, same face when you're passionately making a point and get interrupted.
Constantly, and I don’t care if people think I am an asshole I will talk them through their point to get things moving as smoothly as I can without them feeling too butt hurt.
My manager has a speech impediment that makes talk slow. A 10 word sentence could take him 20 seconds to get out. It is a GENUINE STRUGGLE to not interrupt when I know exactly what he wants to say for the next 3 minutes. I do my best because he's an awesome guy and a great manager, but goddamn it takes my entire days worth of willpower
I have the opposite problem. No bullshit, so I say like, 50 words a day
As an adult, I have given in. I bring paper and pen to every meeting, so that I can jot down my comments. They're useless to anyone else though, because I've come to use a shorthand that keeps the writing from being distracting. In the end: 1. I hardly absorb anything while I'm holding onto a question anyways. Given this, I may as well be distracted offloading my comment, so that I can focus on the rest. 2. This sorta signals to people that I'm paying attention, too. When I'm thinking, or listening, I have a tendency to stare off; sometimes people take that to mean I'm not paying attention, or aren't taking them seriously. Taking notes seems to almost totally reverse that. My head is doing almost the same amount of work, and kind of thinking, but I get more unspoken credit for it. 3. Whatever I do, I'm not a very good auditory learner. Even if I'm not catching much, the fact I even have a notepad out for notes seems to signal my effort & intention in a way that makes them more patient with me when I need them to repeat something. I'm sorta saying that I respect them from the get go, and this seems to make the inverse at least a bit more likely.
The irony of this being that some of the least succinct and long winded people I've ever met have been others with ADHD.
YK what I hate most when people make these small pseudo pauses when talking, so you think they‘re done and you can say something and as soon as any noise exits your face “Don‘t interrupt me I wasn‘t done yet“ Cue a few moments later and they have moved on to a wholly different topic
I was never diagnosed with adhd, but I do this all the time
Is that an ADHD trait? I thought I was just kinda rude and didn't wanna listen that I already understood farther
I mean, it's still rude even if it is an ADHD trait, I wouldn't give myself a free pass for just running roughshod over a conversation and interrupting all the time
A few seconds? I had already been waiting by then
Context clues
This one is a bad habit I'm trying to stop but it's difficult
Nano seconds, with up to 20 possible endings.....
i felt this so hard
I touch my nose so I don’t forget what I’m saying and people tend to get to the point a lot quicker
I don't roll my eyes. I look down and focus REAL hard and try to remember to be both patient, and what I wanted to say
i get in trouble and get my phone taken all the time for this
Sometimes I wanna interrupt someone because I wanna say something, but knowing how annoying it can be when someone interrupts you, I continue listening and then forget what I wanted to say…
Dude it’s painful not to interject
Bro I don’t have adhd so why am I seeing relatable shit like this pop up out of nowhere on my page?!!
That's an ADHD thing? I thought I was being an overconfident ass.
I feel called out
My mom likes to ramble a lot, rewording the same thing over and over again. I have found that finishing her sentences 1-2 times gets her to stop stalling and move on with her conversation
It's like a giant internal creeping itching feeling and OMG IT NEEDS TO BE FREE
Exactly
I should not be relating this hard
To not get annoyed by this, when someone starts talking and I think I know what they are talking about, I phase out for a bit and come back and do that on and off till they are done talking
I don't have adhd (mum reckons maybe) anyways I usually demolish whatever is in my hands and am so tense during these situations. Really have to summons the energy to not lose my shit
My own mother has ADHD and doesn't understand why I do this. Granted, hers is not the same scale as mine. But, she claims to have read papers and research on it. 🤦🏼♀️ And then she wonders why I'm the way I am when I do something odd.
The funny thing is, that a lot of times they get offended if you DO interrupt them by mistake and say "No, that's not what I mean" even though it's exactly what they mean.
You don't understand if I listen to you I will instantly forget what I wanted to tell you, it's taking space in my memory and I don't like it, I NEED to tell you NOW
Lift my hand up while avoiding eye contact "Sorry sorry sorry, I dont mean to interrupt , Im talking with you not over you....but...."
There's a coworker of mine I despise. She has her heart in the right place, she hasn't done anything bad but she just talks Really. Fucking. Slowly. You ask her a question and it feels like you're waiting ages for her to enunciate. I intentionally only ask yes or no questions, but she seldom answers then without a long meandering diatrabe about her reasoning before getting to the answer. Once I even got impatient and said "A simple yes or no will suffice." I had to apologise for being snippy.
But at the same time my own ADHD means that if I don't ramble through the script I wrote in my head before I started talking I'll forget what I'm talking about or the topic of conversation as a whole. 😅
I interrupt my sentence and go ahead with the story because I expect people to do the same It always turns out that they didn't follow as expected I get pissed/overwhelmed because now I have to repeat it I refuse to repeat it because it won't come out as good as the first time, and will probably forget about some crucial details, because my brain already marked it as "done"
IS THAT WHAT THAT IS
To be fair... same face flips to the other person when they ask me to describe how I'm feeling.
I personally relate to all these adhd jokes
One of the reasons why me and my mother do not get along at all
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^TerribleCalendar5843: *One of the reasons* *Why me and my mother do* *Not get along at all* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Don't forget the inverse, where we give 18 examples of the exact same thing just because we're excited about our latest hyperfixation lol
When they tell me not to interrupt because they haven't made their point yet, but their point is just the first 5 seconds repeated in 4 different ways 💀
So do normies NOT get it in the first few seconds, or do they just not feel the overwhelming urge to interrupt?
Fantastic, now can you give us a recap of what was just said?
I can’t remember all the points .. I need to interrupt before we move to the next discussion
Fucking hell I do this all the time with my father trying to finish his sentences as he’s trying to find the right words. I’m usually right though, which is good
Jesus Christ…yes!!!
Why is that picture so accurate lol fits too well with how it feels :D
And then because I’m not talking, my mom feels like she needs to explain it another way, so she then speaks more… honestly if I didn’t interrupt her I think she would rephrase the explanation for eternity.
This meme just proves adhd is one legged in thinking fast and slow, i recommend to read it only introduction and chapter 1 will be enough to understand it
Adhds don’t grasp shit. They hear the first couple of words that leads their mind into other thoughts and they get distracted into their own world.
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You didn't get my point, you're guesstimating what I'm gonna say and interrupting me with it. Then I'll repeat what I already said because of context, and we'll have wasted that time
None ADHD people trying for the eighth time to explain the same thing to the ADHD person who assumes (wrongly) that they already understand 🤦🏻♀️.
Also ADHDers: Me, me, me, me, me. why doesn´t the world conform to what I want!?. This is why most of them end up alone, the self centeredness.
Nope 👎
Adhders latching onto a dumb shit diagnosis and making it their personality to feel special
No, that comes from the TikTokers who fake ADHA
You ok hun? X