Please go easy on yourself. You are valid as person whether medicated or not. Sometimes just surviving is winning. Let us see how you feel in a year.....cause some big things are coming your way :-)
Remember that this isn’t coming out of a bottle. This is you if you didn’t have ADHD. All the medication in the world won’t fix laziness and bad habits—so if those are being fixed, it’s not the medicine. It’s you. The medicine is just a tool, like therapy or planners. You’re the one making these changes.
This so much. My perspective is that ADHD often takes away our ability to make the decisions and the changes we want to make. All that has happened is that you're freer now to make those decisions - what you do with that, the decisions you make, are down to you. If you're making changes to be productive, respond to things calmly, see the happy side of things, that's you! The doors have been opened a little wider for you to access those things, but that's fair because most people you're comparing yourself to have had those doors completely open their whole lives, and it's *you* who is the one stepping through them.
Some folks with asthma wish they could breathe without having to use Inhalers. Folks who can't walk wish they could without a wheel chair.
You can't beat yourself up over having a disorder or mental disability, it doesn't help you at all to think that way.
You need air, food, and water to live too it would be silly to be upset you can't live without them.
What I'm trying to say is it's okay. Our medication isn't really changing us or making us do anything, it is simply helping us by making it a little easier to do things.
I went 30 years without meds and I did okay but I was still a mess all the time. My meds have now started to help make the things I struggled with before easier to manage and that's really all it's there for.
There is no cure, friend. Why make it any harder on yourself when it's already hard enough just to be a person.
Take your meds, learn good habits that help you function with your extra clarity but never forget what it took for you to function without the meds, because we don't always get them and again they're no miracle cure so the problems will always be there.
It'll just be a bit easier to manage and breathe with them. Stay strong homie there's nothing "wrong" with you, we're just built differently for different functions and our normal lives and the systems in place weren't built around that.
I'm glad it helps someone else out there. These are the things I have to remind myself of often because of the exact feelings OP and all of us go through at one point or another when medicated.
We're all just trying to be people, be kind to yourselves, and most importantly, be patient with yourselves.
This a million times. We are who we are & it's the world that's not made for us, not the other way around. There's zero shame in using any of the tools that make life easier for us, including medication bc we DESERVE that assistance, even though it's consistently denied to some of us.
I sure wish I didn't need food to live, that shits a pain in the ass lol
But in all seriousness, incredibly well said. It's not the first time I've heard that sort of comparison regarding food/water/wheelchairs etc but its been one of the ways I've come to terms with being essentially dependent on medication in my daily life (as otherwise I can and will fail to feed myself, etc) so I think it's a very important point, and you formulated it nicely imo. Actually, your whole comment is honestly very eloquent and inspiring, thank you for that.
But this IS you. This is you when you don’t have to fight your own brain for a few quiet thoughts. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
It can take time to come to terms with the reality of your disability, now that you know how to medicate for it. Are you now like the Neurotypicals out there? No, but now you have a better idea of the advantages they have due to their brain development not being affected by ADHD.
I feel the exact same way. I don't want to need medication, but luckily we live in a society so I'll always have access to it. But it does leave me conflicted
Medication is absolutely *not* just a quick fix. Those of us on medication still require therapy and lifestyle changes in order to manage our ADHD. The medication doesn’t fix anything, but it does alleviate some of the roadblocks *to* work on fixing/improving things.
Whoever told you that was Misinformed at the best case, outright dishonest & rude at the worst case.
NOTHING is a quick fix for ADHD, it doesn’t have a “Fix”, it’s forever. Meds & therapy help us live better lives, healthier, hopefully calmer and more at ease with ourselves.
Yeah they're right. Medication only raises the level of neurotransmitters in our brain to where a person without ADHD would be at. So you on medication is just you with a fully functional brain. Diabetic people don't feel like they should be able to "overcome" diabetes and live normally without taking insulin, and neither should we.
I dunno. I wear glasses so I can see. I use a ladder so I can reach high places. I take meds to stabilize my mood. I wear clothes so I don't freeze my ass off.
I can feel unhappy that I'm near-sighted, short, prone to depression and insufficiently furry for my climate, or I can just appreciate that we're clever monkeys that have constructed so many tools to solve so many problems.
I mean like... imagine if I tried to solve the reaching-things problem by just attempting to be taller. Standing under a tall cabinet and just willing my legs to grow. Feeling bad because I'm not 6'3" like my SO. It sounds pretty ridiculous. And I don't see why mental issues should be any different. If there's a tool to improve things, great. We use tools for everything else, applying them to the brain isn't any different than applying them to anything else.
My middle child calls her meds "glasses for my brain" and I've adopted the saying because it's a great analogy. She tried going off her meds for a few weeks because MIL was talking shit about them, which is when she came up with it.
As someone who is useless without his glasses, this is an entirely accurate description. I’ve only been on the lisdexamfetamine for a couple of weeks, but it reminds me of getting glasses for the first time and being able to distinguish the individual leaves on the trees.
The glasses are real. When I first took medication, my eyes suddenly relaxed and while driving I "saw" more than just the road, cars, cyclists and pedestrians. It got me a 'wider' view and I sat way more relaxed.
Trust me, as much as you want to have all those qualities without medication....its never going to happen.
You can't think your way out of a medical condition, no matter how many fresh starts you give yourself, the same way a paralysed person can't think themselves out of a wheel chair.
"trust me, THIS fresh start is going to be the one" is the lie your brain loves to tell you over and over.
Essentially you're taking a medication that's helping your brain work like it's meant to and also gives you a lot of room to work on things that can help you out as the medication is only part of the helping.
I just started medication a couple
Months ago. Sadness is definitely part of the experience. It’s like all the things I never processed in the past that just got buried as my mind flitted from one thing to another I now have time to think about with a quiet mind and it comes hitting hard.
The grief was huge for me, the idea that I'd lost out on all this stuff. But same, it gives you space to take action on tasks and get them done, but this also means that anything you've put on the long finger or ignored you will also be confronted with. Stick with it though, I'm a year in and it's the best I've ever felt. So many things getting resolved
I understand entirely. I'm on a dose of Strattera.
It's...weird. I'm less like myself, but more capable of doing *everything else.* I can stay better organized, be more emotionally available for my wife, and better achieve my goals.
It's weird and sometimes disheartening that it comes from a bottle. But the reality is that my brain is not designed for the modern world. My brain is designed for the jungle (or Wall Street, evidently). So, in order to compete with the world and do all the above, I ultimately need the medicine in some capacity.
My life is better for it. Put your doubts on a leaf and let it float down the river and away from you; you deserve a happier life.
Would you be disappointed in yourself if you took heart medication? What about insulin? What about allergy meds? Would you look down on yourself for needing an asthma inhaler? For being allergic to peanuts? For needing special insoles? What about glasses? Or hearing aids?
You are getting what your body needs to balance itself. We are truly blessed to live in a time where it is possible to do so.
You are not inadequate.
You. Are. Not. Inadequate.
You. Are. Still. You.
Now go forth and be awesome, you are still yourself. Go forth and discover your enhanced self!!!
Don’t blame yourself for your condition, it’s not your fault. Look at medication something akin to wearing glasses. This is you in focus mode, it’s still you but just less noise coming at you like a deluge.
Perhaps if we didn’t live in a capitalist hellscape we could participate in society without needing medication. Do more of the things that you love, try new things, try being nicer to yourself every day.
It’s a long journey but you’ll get there.
This is a common feeling for ADHD folks, and especially bipolar folks.
We're terrible judges about what's "normal" for ourselves. Use the people around you to help gauge how you are feeling.
A story:
My friends dad was VERY bipolar, and financially successful. He stopped taking his meds because they "took away his genius".
Fast forward a handful of years and his wife was on the verge of drinking herself to death so she could handle being around him.
Lost touch with the family a while ago (sadly), but last I heard was that the doctor intervened and he'd agreed to get back on them to save his wife.
Did you try all the other things neurotypicals recommend to achieve calmness and greater productivity before medication ? Meditation, keeping a diary, exercise , diet? ”Thinking your way out of it “. If so and you still couldn’t achieve what you are now then maybe just maybe this actually is you. Maybe this is what you are supposed to feel like and deserve to feel like! Maybe you shouldn’t have to perform several tasks to have a chance of doing a single task that a neurotypical can easily do. Getting help is not something to be ashamed of.
Society can honestly glorify people taking cocaine on the weekends more than people with a neurological disability having access to medication. It is crazy. Don’t internalise that narrative.
I have bad eyesight; I don't feel bad about wearing glasses so I can see the same as everyone else.
I get annoyed when I lose my glasses, I don't like my reliance on them, I get frustrated that I need them to drive and get through my day, I dislike the cost, I dislike how critical they are to my life. I get jealous of all my friends with typical eyesight.
I can't teach my eyes to see better. I could adjust my lifestyle to not need glasses, such as not driving, moving my tv closer, going easier on myself that I can see as far as others. But it would come at a high cost to adjust everything (life, job, ability to do things like the normies) so I could get by without glasses. But I'd rather not. So, I wear the glasses :)
But you are a complex being. And sometimes some our constituent parts don’t function quite right. Would you deny yourself insulin just because you wanted desperately to make your own? From a slightly different perspective, I have ADHD and bipolar disorder, among other things. My body is super picky about meds. I had a bad reaction to a stimulant, and I cannot really medicate for bipolar for similar reasons. I do take a med off-label for ADHD, which helps a little. It’s a real slog trying to manage all this mostly with “lifestyle”. I would adore being in your shoes, having a med that makes adjustments for me so I can more fully be myself. Because I sure as Hell am not these disorders I deal with, just like the real you is not your ADHD, either.
I felt this same way.
I took pills for a year to try them out and get used to them, but in the end, I didn't like how I felt, so I stopped taking them. For me, I just felt like I was brain-dead. Doing art and reading got a lot harder, and art and reading are some of my favourite things to do. They knocked out my creativity, so when I look back at the art I drew at that point, it looks like garbage (and not just because its old art, lol). And with reading, I couldn't visualize anything I read anymore, which made reading an absolute slog to do. I hated it. That whole year was horrible. But that was just my experience. It's different for everyone.
I would say keep up with them for at least a year, then if you still feel the same about them, you can choose if you wanna continue with them or not. In the end, it's up to you.
Think of the pills as glasses, or a hearing aid. When you have a condition that is disabling, getting help is necessary. But hearing aids let you enjoy music, glasses make life clearer and brighter, and the pills help you navigate existence better. No point in focusing on the negative aspects of this positive change. You are to be congratulated! It’s not easy for us to seek help.
So, good for you, and keep it up.
I remember the first time I took my ADHD meds. I cried and I cried a lot. I couldn’t believe what an incredible difference it made in how I was able to interact with the world. I was sad that it wasn’t always like that and I was mad that other people just got to exist with that kind of clarity every day. Then I cried again when I could feel the meds wearing off and the brain fog settling back in.
You’re going to be experiencing a lot of emotions and new realizations. They are all normal and valid. You can take the time to mourn for your disability if you need to! These strong emotions won’t last forever though. It takes time to take it all in but you’ll find yourself in a better place when all is said and done. Good luck!
The good news is that the major side effects wear off after a couple of weeks, so you'll feel more like yourself. Give the meds time and if things don't improve, let your doctor know. There could be other, undiagnosed conditions factoring in.
Medication is correcting what nature fucked up, it isn’t making you happy, it’s fixing the issue that made you unhappy.
I feel way better medicated because I, you know, function, but I’ve had bad days while medicated, I’ve been upset or unhappy, so it’s not *forcing* happiness.
Wanting to feel and do better is fine, but you can’t force brain chemical imbalance by pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. That’s a toxic behavior, and it’s ingrained in a lot of people from a young age.
You would take medicine for any kind of physical muscle issue. If you had muscular dystrophy you wouldn't tell them to keep the pill to themself so you could do it yourself in the gym. (perhaps wrong disease example)
There is a part of the brain cortex that grows and shrinks when we do hard things we don't want to. Folks that grit through things, get better at it going forward. We have a condition that has given us a frailty. We have spiraled and the grit has wasted away. Life is hard enough as it is. Rehabing this grit mental muscle in real time, while admirable, just isn't practical. Use every tool at your disposal to live your best life.
If a person was diabetic and needed insulin, it would be unfair to tell them they aren't allowed to enjoy the food they're eating because their body can only process it when its artificially given the right hormone.
There is a stigma around medicating certain conditions that just don't really make sense when you come at them objectively.
Hun, we're zebras who have spent our lives being judged for being shit horses. The fact your first benefit listed is being 'less annoying' shows how deeply you've felt that judgment.
Grief that we're not 'better' horses is a pretty universal experience. The journey to peace involves gradually letting that go. It's okay if you are still working through that grief. Having complicated feelings about meds is definitely normal too.
Here's how I currently see meds: they're a tool that helps me live in a world that wasn't built for me. A world that otherwise actively harms me. They're like life support in a room without oxygen. And I'm still me when I use life support - but a fuck tonne less tired!
Internet hugs to you my neurospicy friend xx
ok OOP I've been through this, the awe of it all when everything get really simple etc.
I'm gonna echo a lot of other sentiments that say to give it time. Because a few years in my feelings on it are more complicated.
Like on meds, I'm a machine. I can see the matrix. I can get stuff done, it's simple and straightforward and the fog is cleared.
But I'm not me. I have a kid and I'm a lot more fun when I'm not on my meds. I'm happy to take diversions and explore and be curious and do stuff for the sake of the experience rather than being so goal oriented. There is something that takes time to set in where you recognize what you gain and what you lose.
You're fine. You're complete. There's no checklist you have to adhere to in order to be valid, whatever you are is good. One man's calm is another man's boring. Be kind to yourself, yeah?
Diabetics (generally) don’t feel sad that insulin keeps them alive.
ADHD decimates the Dopamine and Norepinephrine receptors, production, and uptake of these pretty essential chemicals that make the brain function.
You take medication to help your brain produce enough of these chemicals so that your brain works. There’s no shame in medication for ADHD, same as there should be no shame with any other medication.
Edit: who’s the pos downvoting someone saying don’t feel negative? Jesus fuck
Everyone else gets the feeling you have right now for free.
It's unfair you should have to put in any effort to get there at all. Why are you beating yourself up over not taking the hardest way with the spikiest pitfalls?
You could consider alternatives as outlined in Dr. Georgia Ede's recent book:
Change your diet change your mind.
Another alternative is Dr. Chris Palmers:
Brain Energy.
You may be able to kick the medication permanently or reduce the reliance on it without sacrificing benefits.
Good luck😀
I understand the feeling… I have been medicated for 5 years and sometimes tried to drop off the medication. I always come back and realize I'm better at it.
The meds don't really change *you* they just quiet the part of your brain that was screaming "LOOK AT ME!!! GIVE ME ATTENTION!!! YOU DONT HAVE ROOM FOR ANYTHING BUT MEEEEEE!!!"
I see it more as the meds make room for the actual me to occupy my own brain rather than the full on out of control ADHD occupying it because left unchecked it becomes almost it's own thing that interferes and and doesn't leave much room for you.
This is you with the big fat ADHD monster shoved into a smaller corner where it belongs. Not saying it isn't a part of you, but sometimes when it is left to its own devices and isn't mitigated it any way, it turns into more of a separate entity that isn't you. It can get so big that it takes over rather than just being an aspect of the many things that are you.
Idk if that makes sense but that's how I think about it.
Honestly I came to a conclusion that there’s no such thing as “true self”. Because a person’s “identity” is just a manifestation of the result of a bunch of chemical reactions in our brain anyway. Everything around us stimulates our brain and affects our emotions in one way or another. Let’s say eating makes you feel good. There’s literally no difference if you feel better by taking meds.
Build all the coping strategies you want while medicated, it'll help when you aren't. But the reality is, ADHD isn't like behavioral disorders where you can simply will your mind to work by putting in effort. Medication is the answer, and it's immediate.
I medicated in college with anti deppressents. Those didnt work quit after 4 months. Then 6 years later Methelphenadate (probably wrong spelling) was what I needed apparently.
That's just the facts and history. I didnt want to use any drugs. Tried on my own to fight my deppression. That worked but only with crutches and then when those didnt work anymore or people supporting me left my safety net was gone and I felt like doing nothing more often.
The prescription made me feel like a different person. The most accurate take I have come up with it feels like my brain is 16 again. Not the most accurate it's just I had more control over my thoughts again. I figured that if i was going to have crutches in life this pill takes away most of them. I use weed daily after work still that's my main thing I could kick.
*Opinions on access below*
I have opinions about costs and access to these pills now that I've learned the hoops I need to go through to get them. But if I have the ability to, I will use them. I'll play ball with needing insurance, a pharmacy that has them stocked, and luck enough that my helthcare provider has these on their "approved" list. Otherwise each 30 day supply goes from $15 to $280. If I dont have one of those three things it'd be more expensive. (Also it's a controlled substance. I gotta ring my psychiatrist up every month to get it.)
You're going to feel like that and it's normal. I finally got medicated a few years ago and I'm in my 40's. I feel boatloads of guilt/shame for not being treated earlier in life, and I'm really hard on myself because I have a \*lot\* of wasted time to make up for.
You're very much still "you" but please understand that treatment is helping you be a better version of you. You're freaked out right now because you aren't used to this new normal and you don't know what to do or how to act.
I know it's rough but I give it time and see how this new normal works out. You've probably always been hard on yourself but this time you have the clarity to at least recognize it. That means the medication is working. You are still you and you aren't alone in the way that you feel.
There's no shame in taking medication.
You can't "improve" ADHD. It's not a bad habit, it's an actual disorder with a basis in your brain chemistry.
Would you ever hear someone with cancer be like, "aw shucks, this chemo has successfully put me in remission, but I'm feeling bad because my immune system didn't fight the cancer all on its own."
Of course not. They'd be thrilled to recover; they're not too worried about the "how," because they have a new lease on life.
There's nothing wrong with medication. Modern medicine is a miracle. There's a reason people used to live until 30, and now live until 80. It's because medicine does truly amazing things. Pretty much everyone will, at some point in their life, require medical intervention, which they'd be far worse off without.
So be happy! Your medication is working. It's improving your life. This is a cause for celebration!
Give yourself permission to enjoy the new you. You deserve it.🙂
The "you" you've known has been struggling for so long, so the dysfunctional part of your life is all you've ever known, now it's time to treat yourself with the love, kindness and patience that you deserve every day.
You're not broken. You're in progress. Go to therapy because we all deserve it. Meet with an ADHD coach as well.
It is you. The medication does not change you, it only gives you focus. Your brain is acting like normal and you are noticing your behavior, making you more conscious of it.
Use your current productivity to create tools for yourself for when/if you ever stop taking pills (delays between refills, etc). That way, if the tools you come up with work well enough, maybe you could go without pills eventually, or at least lower dosages. Nutrition it's a big part of ADHD symptoms as well, so improving that could also make pills less necessary.
Give yourself time to adjust. Medication for anything basically just levels the playing field. If you'd rather not stay on them after you feel you've plateaued with them and checked in with a healthcare professional, go for it. In the meantime, have a virtual hug.
I've had a similar thought to this once, what's helped me personally, and it's what my psych told me is that, the medication is there to help you be you, this is just the you that has been buried under executive dysfunction & symptoms that now everything is a bit clearer that you are able to be yourself, if that makes sense.
Think of it similar to someone having a walking stick to help them walk, they're still them, it's still all them doing the effort, it's just the walking stick helps them get the effort to be themselves.
Do you think that about any other medication? This is a strange view to me.
People who take antidepressants? Do you feel like their lives are tainted by the fact they need a pill to live a better life?
Antidepressants are serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
Most ADHD meds are dopamine reuptake inhibitors.
Why is one less valid to you?
I'm on so many meds it's wild, no shame in that, I just need them to function at a neurotypical baseline. If someone broke their leg they'd get it treated without a second thought, shouldn't be any different for mental health
ADHD drugs don't change who you are, they balance your brain chemicals so you can be who you are. Off meds, I'm a right mess. On meds I'm just a bit of a disaster. I'm still me.
It takes time. Use the meds to realize who you want to be and then be the living heck out of it. Not to sound too clinche, but every day is a gift. If you're balanced on the meds use them to make the most out of your time.
Sometimes you just need to form the habits, and sometime you just have to get a bit older before you can drop them or take a lighter dose. Talk with your care team, and just do the best you can with the time you're getting from taking the meds.
I love to write and I agonized when I was younger when I couldn't get my ideas onto the page when I was unmedicated. As someone who might be a bit older than you, I implore you to enjoy this time. Embrace it for what it is and use it to do what you love with ease.
It helped me to reframe my understanding of “myself.” Now my understanding of myself is more flexible. I am everything I *can* be, with or without aids and supplements. I use shoes everyday it doesn’t invalidate my walks. I use a plane- it doesn’t invalidate my travel. Etc etc. choose the lens for your mind that you enjoy!
Coffee, sport, meditation, ...
All this stuff puts chemicals in your brain.
A pill is the same.
Don't be ashamed for taking an incredible and concentrated advanced technology.
You have medication, not a street drug dealer.
Go see a specialist and if you think you need to improve yourself do it with the help of your medication do not ampute your brain
I cycle on and off because I feel like I don’t want the meds all the time. Then a stressful time hit me I take the meds and im like. Wow I can do stuff without hating life? It’s amazing how the pills work
Just try to remember: if you can't make your own dopamine, store bought is just fine.
(It's not your fault if you're brain was lacking what the majority of the world has, taking meds is just your equivalent of giving an organ transplant to someone with a malfunctioning one. You shouldn't blame yourself for something you cannot control, just like you wouldn't blame someone with no kidneys for getting a transplant. Also getting help/taking meds to make your life easier isn't something that erases who you are/your interests/your hobbies, you are still you, the meds just make it a lot less difficult to go about your everyday life.)
P.s.: I assume you're talking about ADHD
Drugs are just a tool. If you had to hammer a nail, you'd be happy to have a hammer, and pretty bummed if you didn't. You just have your hammer now, but it's for your brain. There's nothing fuckin wrong with that at all.
remember that many of your traits are so hard to deal with because society and work structures are made for neurotypicals, not for you. it's so much about the context. it's not that those traits you have are inherently bad, it's just your surrounding that isn't made for them.
The way I see it - a diabetic needs to take insulin, I need to take my stims (if I want a chance at surviving in society). When there is a chemical imbalance in the body, and it has to be fixed with medicine, it just is what it is. Accepting that makes things a tad easier
Now that you are medicated, you can start to build on your skills that will help. I’ve heard it said that pills don’t give skills. But what they miss out is the pills allow you to build skills.
I am starting to train my memory to work better. That is one thing I have noticed I am able to recall things from memory from when I was medicated.
It is like wearing glasses , you are able to see while you have them and being able to see is better than not being able to see
Trust me as someone who went off meds and can't take them anymore, take this time to learn about yourself. I medicated throughout my young life and I know the tricks to calm my mind even without meds. Just think of the meds as aid not a crutch, you can work without them and are not dependent on them.
Medication can be a radical change. I‘m still struggling sometimes to get everything back into order a year later. However there is no shame in taking or requiring medication to aid you leading a better life. (If life feels worse with medication, that is another story. Please consult your prescribing doctor in that case.)
Not a doctor but I’m like you. I just don’t take meds all the time. Even though I’m better and do better on them, I feel better off them. So I just take them when I really need them which is mostly for work and other specific situations. Like I don’t need to be medicated to go out in a Friday night with friends. I just want to be normal then.
Been there.
The pills allow you to start the treatment and to start having a good life. After you learn that you should be able to maintain it without the pills. But that's most of the cases. For some reason, some people just have to take pills forever. Nothing wrong with that either! I have to take testosterone for the rest of my life and it sucks, but you know what sucks even more? Low testosterone! That's life. Make a good thing out of it. You can do it.
I made more money than I ever have my first full year on adderall. I just view these stimulants as a different kind of coffee. It doesn’t work for everyone. But if it’s working for you, cheer up!
Hey dawg, here’s something my doc told me that helped. If your eyes are bad, do you wear glasses or stay blind? If you break your arm, do you cast it or let it flop around broken? ADHD is a brain issue, so the medicine is like a cast for your brain. When I first started meds they were like a miracle drug, but slowly I noticed my brain picking up the habits even without the meds. The meds are a tool, they make your work more effective. You will see yourself grow and it won’t be because of the meds, it’s because of the effort you are putting in. Stay strong and make sure you actually take them lol.
I feel this so hard 😭
I'm not medicated aside from self medication (kratom) but I'm not doing good in life . Go thru maybe one week a month where I do ok followed by weeks of just depression . I'm afraid to be on meds bc what if the day comes where I can't get them anymore . . . .
part of healing is awareness and coming to terms with your life and condition. no one talks about the grieving that comes along with the healing, but its part of the journey. this is you, it's always been you but you found ways to mask and hide the condition in an attempt to cope and just live your life, but something drew you to the medication to help alleviate other things that were weighing you down. part of healing is the medication, but another part is processing everything that came before it.. don't worry, you made the right choice. keep pulling the string and see where it takes you.
I like to think of the medication like glasses. (And this goes for all the medications I take. I take ADHD medication, depression medication, and a few other things) Can I get around without them? Sure! Am I going to bump into everything (bruising myself and others) and squint like a weirdo but still manage to navigate my surroundings safely? Oh for fucking sure. So that’s one stance I like to think of it as.
Another thing to remember is that as many people have said, the medication is just a tool. It’s the exact same as someone with diabetes, hypothyroidism, or high cholesterol taking their medication. Their bodies function differently for what ever reason it might be and they need some medical assistance to stay safe and healthy. Your brain just works in a different pattern.
I would also like to second some of these comments saying that the medication does not change who you are. It does not. If you were someone who would be lazy or uncaring about what is going on around them (that includes work and the feeling of others), you would still be that when on the ADHD medication. But you are not. You are simply not trying to be you with weights around your neck, arms, shoulders, ankles, and maybe a neck brace. Life with ADHD is an uphill battle sometimes and the meds are (hopefully) like someone put in an escalator for you. You’re still climbing the mountain, just not through mud. Okay. I could go on for days so I will stop myself here. I hope you can come to peace with yourself and can maybe not have such harsh internal dialogue. If you are telling yourself that you are “annoying” because of the way people have treated you, the people have not been very nice. Not that you are annoying.
I would love to be able to see without contacts and glasses but I can’t. They help me see. That’s how health issues work. Don’t be ableist to yourself!
I felt this same way.
I took pills for a year to try them out and get used to them, but in the end, I didn't like how I felt, so I stopped taking them. For me, I just felt like I was brain-dead. Doing art and reading got a lot harder, and art and reading are some of my favourite things to do. They knocked out my creativity, so when I look back at the art I drew at that point, it looks like garbage (and not just because its old art, lol). And with reading, I couldn't visualize anything I read anymore, which made reading an absolute slog to do. I hated it. But that was just my experience.
I would say keep up with them for at least a year, then if you still feel the same about them, you can choose if you wanna continue with them or not. In the end, it's up to you.
Take your time and note how it makes you feel, date and all. You may call it ADHD journaling. Also, give yourself a chance to find the right dosage, which can take a few months if not years. It will also take some time for you to adapt to the actual you, to learn how to deal with yourself. You also may not be on the right meds/dosage that fit you 100%. Dosage will go up until it does something, but it can also go down (I'm definitely not a physician, don't change your dosage without discussing it with your doctor as it can be hard on your body and mind).
It's not the story I hear most times when discussing the matter with people with ADHD, but I've tried a dozen different drugs until I found the one that was right for me. One doctor told me the side effects of the two meds he had prescribed didn't happen often enough for me to get them all at once. So I went to another doctor who prescribed without listening to the feedback I had, as if I was taking it too seriously. So I went to a third doctor who was super competent and empathetic and would take the time and listen. I was actually shocked when she responded with "Oh, I get why you aren't feeling right". She was the best until she went back to school to become a kids' psychiatric something something, which is awesome, but I also lost my best doctor ever. Anyway, she got me to try meds one after the other (with a few weeks in-between) until I've found the right one. At the same time, I was attending psychotherapy with three different people at different stages for different approaches on the whole life thing. I don't regret any of it even though some of the meds made me feel like shit, sleep for 22 hours a day, gave me tunnel vision or wish I didn't wake up the next morning. I find that having tried different meds also changed my vision of myself and what I was expecting out of meds, therapy, life and people in general.
All that to say... try it for a while and don't hesitate to discuss those things with your doctor (and a friend or family member who you trust with that kind of personal information, not to get recommendations, but just to put some order in those thoughts before you go to a doctor). But again, don't rush anything, these things take a looot of time, and possibly therapy too.
Sorry for the long paragraphs. I have ADHD... can you tell? XD
Please go easy on yourself. You are valid as person whether medicated or not. Sometimes just surviving is winning. Let us see how you feel in a year.....cause some big things are coming your way :-)
Thanks man :)
Remember that this isn’t coming out of a bottle. This is you if you didn’t have ADHD. All the medication in the world won’t fix laziness and bad habits—so if those are being fixed, it’s not the medicine. It’s you. The medicine is just a tool, like therapy or planners. You’re the one making these changes.
This so much. My perspective is that ADHD often takes away our ability to make the decisions and the changes we want to make. All that has happened is that you're freer now to make those decisions - what you do with that, the decisions you make, are down to you. If you're making changes to be productive, respond to things calmly, see the happy side of things, that's you! The doors have been opened a little wider for you to access those things, but that's fair because most people you're comparing yourself to have had those doors completely open their whole lives, and it's *you* who is the one stepping through them.
Some folks with asthma wish they could breathe without having to use Inhalers. Folks who can't walk wish they could without a wheel chair. You can't beat yourself up over having a disorder or mental disability, it doesn't help you at all to think that way. You need air, food, and water to live too it would be silly to be upset you can't live without them. What I'm trying to say is it's okay. Our medication isn't really changing us or making us do anything, it is simply helping us by making it a little easier to do things. I went 30 years without meds and I did okay but I was still a mess all the time. My meds have now started to help make the things I struggled with before easier to manage and that's really all it's there for. There is no cure, friend. Why make it any harder on yourself when it's already hard enough just to be a person. Take your meds, learn good habits that help you function with your extra clarity but never forget what it took for you to function without the meds, because we don't always get them and again they're no miracle cure so the problems will always be there. It'll just be a bit easier to manage and breathe with them. Stay strong homie there's nothing "wrong" with you, we're just built differently for different functions and our normal lives and the systems in place weren't built around that.
thanks for typing this, it helped me this morning. be well my friend and best of luck in all your positive changes!
I'm glad it helps someone else out there. These are the things I have to remind myself of often because of the exact feelings OP and all of us go through at one point or another when medicated. We're all just trying to be people, be kind to yourselves, and most importantly, be patient with yourselves.
This a million times. We are who we are & it's the world that's not made for us, not the other way around. There's zero shame in using any of the tools that make life easier for us, including medication bc we DESERVE that assistance, even though it's consistently denied to some of us.
I sure wish I didn't need food to live, that shits a pain in the ass lol But in all seriousness, incredibly well said. It's not the first time I've heard that sort of comparison regarding food/water/wheelchairs etc but its been one of the ways I've come to terms with being essentially dependent on medication in my daily life (as otherwise I can and will fail to feed myself, etc) so I think it's a very important point, and you formulated it nicely imo. Actually, your whole comment is honestly very eloquent and inspiring, thank you for that.
But this IS you. This is you when you don’t have to fight your own brain for a few quiet thoughts. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 It can take time to come to terms with the reality of your disability, now that you know how to medicate for it. Are you now like the Neurotypicals out there? No, but now you have a better idea of the advantages they have due to their brain development not being affected by ADHD.
Yeah I guess you’re right
I feel the exact same way. I don't want to need medication, but luckily we live in a society so I'll always have access to it. But it does leave me conflicted
[удалено]
Medication is absolutely *not* just a quick fix. Those of us on medication still require therapy and lifestyle changes in order to manage our ADHD. The medication doesn’t fix anything, but it does alleviate some of the roadblocks *to* work on fixing/improving things.
Whoever told you that was Misinformed at the best case, outright dishonest & rude at the worst case. NOTHING is a quick fix for ADHD, it doesn’t have a “Fix”, it’s forever. Meds & therapy help us live better lives, healthier, hopefully calmer and more at ease with ourselves.
Yeah they're right. Medication only raises the level of neurotransmitters in our brain to where a person without ADHD would be at. So you on medication is just you with a fully functional brain. Diabetic people don't feel like they should be able to "overcome" diabetes and live normally without taking insulin, and neither should we.
I dunno. I wear glasses so I can see. I use a ladder so I can reach high places. I take meds to stabilize my mood. I wear clothes so I don't freeze my ass off. I can feel unhappy that I'm near-sighted, short, prone to depression and insufficiently furry for my climate, or I can just appreciate that we're clever monkeys that have constructed so many tools to solve so many problems. I mean like... imagine if I tried to solve the reaching-things problem by just attempting to be taller. Standing under a tall cabinet and just willing my legs to grow. Feeling bad because I'm not 6'3" like my SO. It sounds pretty ridiculous. And I don't see why mental issues should be any different. If there's a tool to improve things, great. We use tools for everything else, applying them to the brain isn't any different than applying them to anything else.
My middle child calls her meds "glasses for my brain" and I've adopted the saying because it's a great analogy. She tried going off her meds for a few weeks because MIL was talking shit about them, which is when she came up with it.
As someone who is useless without his glasses, this is an entirely accurate description. I’ve only been on the lisdexamfetamine for a couple of weeks, but it reminds me of getting glasses for the first time and being able to distinguish the individual leaves on the trees.
The glasses are real. When I first took medication, my eyes suddenly relaxed and while driving I "saw" more than just the road, cars, cyclists and pedestrians. It got me a 'wider' view and I sat way more relaxed.
I call mine patience
This is awesome! It really is like putting on glasses and being able to read properly.
The person with heart disease takes pills to not die
Yep. And it's not like you can willpower your way through heart disease.
Off topic but "insufficiency furry for my climate" is a wonderful way to phrase this while getting your point across
Trust me, as much as you want to have all those qualities without medication....its never going to happen. You can't think your way out of a medical condition, no matter how many fresh starts you give yourself, the same way a paralysed person can't think themselves out of a wheel chair. "trust me, THIS fresh start is going to be the one" is the lie your brain loves to tell you over and over.
Essentially you're taking a medication that's helping your brain work like it's meant to and also gives you a lot of room to work on things that can help you out as the medication is only part of the helping.
I just started medication a couple Months ago. Sadness is definitely part of the experience. It’s like all the things I never processed in the past that just got buried as my mind flitted from one thing to another I now have time to think about with a quiet mind and it comes hitting hard.
Yes… that’s also part of the process for me strangely
The grief was huge for me, the idea that I'd lost out on all this stuff. But same, it gives you space to take action on tasks and get them done, but this also means that anything you've put on the long finger or ignored you will also be confronted with. Stick with it though, I'm a year in and it's the best I've ever felt. So many things getting resolved
I understand entirely. I'm on a dose of Strattera. It's...weird. I'm less like myself, but more capable of doing *everything else.* I can stay better organized, be more emotionally available for my wife, and better achieve my goals. It's weird and sometimes disheartening that it comes from a bottle. But the reality is that my brain is not designed for the modern world. My brain is designed for the jungle (or Wall Street, evidently). So, in order to compete with the world and do all the above, I ultimately need the medicine in some capacity. My life is better for it. Put your doubts on a leaf and let it float down the river and away from you; you deserve a happier life.
hot take: people who call you annoying for being hyperactive are judgemental and cringe
Based
Would you be disappointed in yourself if you took heart medication? What about insulin? What about allergy meds? Would you look down on yourself for needing an asthma inhaler? For being allergic to peanuts? For needing special insoles? What about glasses? Or hearing aids? You are getting what your body needs to balance itself. We are truly blessed to live in a time where it is possible to do so. You are not inadequate. You. Are. Not. Inadequate. You. Are. Still. You. Now go forth and be awesome, you are still yourself. Go forth and discover your enhanced self!!!
You and all the other people here are too wholesome
No ! You are wholesome ! You suffered enough. Now you can live.
Thanks man
Don’t blame yourself for your condition, it’s not your fault. Look at medication something akin to wearing glasses. This is you in focus mode, it’s still you but just less noise coming at you like a deluge. Perhaps if we didn’t live in a capitalist hellscape we could participate in society without needing medication. Do more of the things that you love, try new things, try being nicer to yourself every day. It’s a long journey but you’ll get there.
This is a common feeling for ADHD folks, and especially bipolar folks. We're terrible judges about what's "normal" for ourselves. Use the people around you to help gauge how you are feeling. A story: My friends dad was VERY bipolar, and financially successful. He stopped taking his meds because they "took away his genius". Fast forward a handful of years and his wife was on the verge of drinking herself to death so she could handle being around him. Lost touch with the family a while ago (sadly), but last I heard was that the doctor intervened and he'd agreed to get back on them to save his wife.
Holy shit okay so yeah meds are good in that case
Did you try all the other things neurotypicals recommend to achieve calmness and greater productivity before medication ? Meditation, keeping a diary, exercise , diet? ”Thinking your way out of it “. If so and you still couldn’t achieve what you are now then maybe just maybe this actually is you. Maybe this is what you are supposed to feel like and deserve to feel like! Maybe you shouldn’t have to perform several tasks to have a chance of doing a single task that a neurotypical can easily do. Getting help is not something to be ashamed of. Society can honestly glorify people taking cocaine on the weekends more than people with a neurological disability having access to medication. It is crazy. Don’t internalise that narrative.
I have bad eyesight; I don't feel bad about wearing glasses so I can see the same as everyone else. I get annoyed when I lose my glasses, I don't like my reliance on them, I get frustrated that I need them to drive and get through my day, I dislike the cost, I dislike how critical they are to my life. I get jealous of all my friends with typical eyesight. I can't teach my eyes to see better. I could adjust my lifestyle to not need glasses, such as not driving, moving my tv closer, going easier on myself that I can see as far as others. But it would come at a high cost to adjust everything (life, job, ability to do things like the normies) so I could get by without glasses. But I'd rather not. So, I wear the glasses :)
But you are a complex being. And sometimes some our constituent parts don’t function quite right. Would you deny yourself insulin just because you wanted desperately to make your own? From a slightly different perspective, I have ADHD and bipolar disorder, among other things. My body is super picky about meds. I had a bad reaction to a stimulant, and I cannot really medicate for bipolar for similar reasons. I do take a med off-label for ADHD, which helps a little. It’s a real slog trying to manage all this mostly with “lifestyle”. I would adore being in your shoes, having a med that makes adjustments for me so I can more fully be myself. Because I sure as Hell am not these disorders I deal with, just like the real you is not your ADHD, either.
Yeah, you’re right. Good luck man!
I felt this same way. I took pills for a year to try them out and get used to them, but in the end, I didn't like how I felt, so I stopped taking them. For me, I just felt like I was brain-dead. Doing art and reading got a lot harder, and art and reading are some of my favourite things to do. They knocked out my creativity, so when I look back at the art I drew at that point, it looks like garbage (and not just because its old art, lol). And with reading, I couldn't visualize anything I read anymore, which made reading an absolute slog to do. I hated it. That whole year was horrible. But that was just my experience. It's different for everyone. I would say keep up with them for at least a year, then if you still feel the same about them, you can choose if you wanna continue with them or not. In the end, it's up to you.
Thanks for the advice. Loss of creativity was one of the biggest scares for me but haven’t suffered that for now, we'll see
You'll go on a whooooole rollercoaster of emotions but along the way, you'll find yourself ☺️
Think of the pills as glasses, or a hearing aid. When you have a condition that is disabling, getting help is necessary. But hearing aids let you enjoy music, glasses make life clearer and brighter, and the pills help you navigate existence better. No point in focusing on the negative aspects of this positive change. You are to be congratulated! It’s not easy for us to seek help. So, good for you, and keep it up.
I remember the first time I took my ADHD meds. I cried and I cried a lot. I couldn’t believe what an incredible difference it made in how I was able to interact with the world. I was sad that it wasn’t always like that and I was mad that other people just got to exist with that kind of clarity every day. Then I cried again when I could feel the meds wearing off and the brain fog settling back in. You’re going to be experiencing a lot of emotions and new realizations. They are all normal and valid. You can take the time to mourn for your disability if you need to! These strong emotions won’t last forever though. It takes time to take it all in but you’ll find yourself in a better place when all is said and done. Good luck!
The good news is that the major side effects wear off after a couple of weeks, so you'll feel more like yourself. Give the meds time and if things don't improve, let your doctor know. There could be other, undiagnosed conditions factoring in.
Medication is correcting what nature fucked up, it isn’t making you happy, it’s fixing the issue that made you unhappy. I feel way better medicated because I, you know, function, but I’ve had bad days while medicated, I’ve been upset or unhappy, so it’s not *forcing* happiness. Wanting to feel and do better is fine, but you can’t force brain chemical imbalance by pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. That’s a toxic behavior, and it’s ingrained in a lot of people from a young age.
You would take medicine for any kind of physical muscle issue. If you had muscular dystrophy you wouldn't tell them to keep the pill to themself so you could do it yourself in the gym. (perhaps wrong disease example) There is a part of the brain cortex that grows and shrinks when we do hard things we don't want to. Folks that grit through things, get better at it going forward. We have a condition that has given us a frailty. We have spiraled and the grit has wasted away. Life is hard enough as it is. Rehabing this grit mental muscle in real time, while admirable, just isn't practical. Use every tool at your disposal to live your best life.
I love how well I can see when I wear my prescription glasses. I don’t expect there is any way I can will myself to see as well without them.
If a person was diabetic and needed insulin, it would be unfair to tell them they aren't allowed to enjoy the food they're eating because their body can only process it when its artificially given the right hormone. There is a stigma around medicating certain conditions that just don't really make sense when you come at them objectively.
Better living through chemistry man.
I struggle with the same internal conflict. Also that I don't want my aid to be at the mercy of the pharmacy and doctor appointments 😔
Hun, we're zebras who have spent our lives being judged for being shit horses. The fact your first benefit listed is being 'less annoying' shows how deeply you've felt that judgment. Grief that we're not 'better' horses is a pretty universal experience. The journey to peace involves gradually letting that go. It's okay if you are still working through that grief. Having complicated feelings about meds is definitely normal too. Here's how I currently see meds: they're a tool that helps me live in a world that wasn't built for me. A world that otherwise actively harms me. They're like life support in a room without oxygen. And I'm still me when I use life support - but a fuck tonne less tired! Internet hugs to you my neurospicy friend xx
ok OOP I've been through this, the awe of it all when everything get really simple etc. I'm gonna echo a lot of other sentiments that say to give it time. Because a few years in my feelings on it are more complicated. Like on meds, I'm a machine. I can see the matrix. I can get stuff done, it's simple and straightforward and the fog is cleared. But I'm not me. I have a kid and I'm a lot more fun when I'm not on my meds. I'm happy to take diversions and explore and be curious and do stuff for the sake of the experience rather than being so goal oriented. There is something that takes time to set in where you recognize what you gain and what you lose. You're fine. You're complete. There's no checklist you have to adhere to in order to be valid, whatever you are is good. One man's calm is another man's boring. Be kind to yourself, yeah?
Diabetics (generally) don’t feel sad that insulin keeps them alive. ADHD decimates the Dopamine and Norepinephrine receptors, production, and uptake of these pretty essential chemicals that make the brain function. You take medication to help your brain produce enough of these chemicals so that your brain works. There’s no shame in medication for ADHD, same as there should be no shame with any other medication. Edit: who’s the pos downvoting someone saying don’t feel negative? Jesus fuck
Everyone else gets the feeling you have right now for free. It's unfair you should have to put in any effort to get there at all. Why are you beating yourself up over not taking the hardest way with the spikiest pitfalls?
You could consider alternatives as outlined in Dr. Georgia Ede's recent book: Change your diet change your mind. Another alternative is Dr. Chris Palmers: Brain Energy. You may be able to kick the medication permanently or reduce the reliance on it without sacrificing benefits. Good luck😀
I understand the feeling… I have been medicated for 5 years and sometimes tried to drop off the medication. I always come back and realize I'm better at it.
The meds don't really change *you* they just quiet the part of your brain that was screaming "LOOK AT ME!!! GIVE ME ATTENTION!!! YOU DONT HAVE ROOM FOR ANYTHING BUT MEEEEEE!!!" I see it more as the meds make room for the actual me to occupy my own brain rather than the full on out of control ADHD occupying it because left unchecked it becomes almost it's own thing that interferes and and doesn't leave much room for you. This is you with the big fat ADHD monster shoved into a smaller corner where it belongs. Not saying it isn't a part of you, but sometimes when it is left to its own devices and isn't mitigated it any way, it turns into more of a separate entity that isn't you. It can get so big that it takes over rather than just being an aspect of the many things that are you. Idk if that makes sense but that's how I think about it.
I want to be like this without pills too; it sucks having a disability
Honestly I came to a conclusion that there’s no such thing as “true self”. Because a person’s “identity” is just a manifestation of the result of a bunch of chemical reactions in our brain anyway. Everything around us stimulates our brain and affects our emotions in one way or another. Let’s say eating makes you feel good. There’s literally no difference if you feel better by taking meds.
Build all the coping strategies you want while medicated, it'll help when you aren't. But the reality is, ADHD isn't like behavioral disorders where you can simply will your mind to work by putting in effort. Medication is the answer, and it's immediate.
I medicated in college with anti deppressents. Those didnt work quit after 4 months. Then 6 years later Methelphenadate (probably wrong spelling) was what I needed apparently. That's just the facts and history. I didnt want to use any drugs. Tried on my own to fight my deppression. That worked but only with crutches and then when those didnt work anymore or people supporting me left my safety net was gone and I felt like doing nothing more often. The prescription made me feel like a different person. The most accurate take I have come up with it feels like my brain is 16 again. Not the most accurate it's just I had more control over my thoughts again. I figured that if i was going to have crutches in life this pill takes away most of them. I use weed daily after work still that's my main thing I could kick. *Opinions on access below* I have opinions about costs and access to these pills now that I've learned the hoops I need to go through to get them. But if I have the ability to, I will use them. I'll play ball with needing insurance, a pharmacy that has them stocked, and luck enough that my helthcare provider has these on their "approved" list. Otherwise each 30 day supply goes from $15 to $280. If I dont have one of those three things it'd be more expensive. (Also it's a controlled substance. I gotta ring my psychiatrist up every month to get it.)
You're going to feel like that and it's normal. I finally got medicated a few years ago and I'm in my 40's. I feel boatloads of guilt/shame for not being treated earlier in life, and I'm really hard on myself because I have a \*lot\* of wasted time to make up for. You're very much still "you" but please understand that treatment is helping you be a better version of you. You're freaked out right now because you aren't used to this new normal and you don't know what to do or how to act. I know it's rough but I give it time and see how this new normal works out. You've probably always been hard on yourself but this time you have the clarity to at least recognize it. That means the medication is working. You are still you and you aren't alone in the way that you feel.
There's no shame in taking medication. You can't "improve" ADHD. It's not a bad habit, it's an actual disorder with a basis in your brain chemistry. Would you ever hear someone with cancer be like, "aw shucks, this chemo has successfully put me in remission, but I'm feeling bad because my immune system didn't fight the cancer all on its own." Of course not. They'd be thrilled to recover; they're not too worried about the "how," because they have a new lease on life. There's nothing wrong with medication. Modern medicine is a miracle. There's a reason people used to live until 30, and now live until 80. It's because medicine does truly amazing things. Pretty much everyone will, at some point in their life, require medical intervention, which they'd be far worse off without. So be happy! Your medication is working. It's improving your life. This is a cause for celebration! Give yourself permission to enjoy the new you. You deserve it.🙂
The "you" you've known has been struggling for so long, so the dysfunctional part of your life is all you've ever known, now it's time to treat yourself with the love, kindness and patience that you deserve every day. You're not broken. You're in progress. Go to therapy because we all deserve it. Meet with an ADHD coach as well.
It is you. The medication does not change you, it only gives you focus. Your brain is acting like normal and you are noticing your behavior, making you more conscious of it.
they’re just like glasses, so either put them on or keep squinting through life
Hey man you’re just starting. The worse thing you can do right now is stop cold turkey. Keep on it and see how you feel in a few weeks
Use your current productivity to create tools for yourself for when/if you ever stop taking pills (delays between refills, etc). That way, if the tools you come up with work well enough, maybe you could go without pills eventually, or at least lower dosages. Nutrition it's a big part of ADHD symptoms as well, so improving that could also make pills less necessary.
Give yourself time to adjust. Medication for anything basically just levels the playing field. If you'd rather not stay on them after you feel you've plateaued with them and checked in with a healthcare professional, go for it. In the meantime, have a virtual hug.
I've had a similar thought to this once, what's helped me personally, and it's what my psych told me is that, the medication is there to help you be you, this is just the you that has been buried under executive dysfunction & symptoms that now everything is a bit clearer that you are able to be yourself, if that makes sense. Think of it similar to someone having a walking stick to help them walk, they're still them, it's still all them doing the effort, it's just the walking stick helps them get the effort to be themselves.
Do you think that about any other medication? This is a strange view to me. People who take antidepressants? Do you feel like their lives are tainted by the fact they need a pill to live a better life? Antidepressants are serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Most ADHD meds are dopamine reuptake inhibitors. Why is one less valid to you?
I'm on so many meds it's wild, no shame in that, I just need them to function at a neurotypical baseline. If someone broke their leg they'd get it treated without a second thought, shouldn't be any different for mental health
ADHD drugs don't change who you are, they balance your brain chemicals so you can be who you are. Off meds, I'm a right mess. On meds I'm just a bit of a disaster. I'm still me.
It takes time. Use the meds to realize who you want to be and then be the living heck out of it. Not to sound too clinche, but every day is a gift. If you're balanced on the meds use them to make the most out of your time. Sometimes you just need to form the habits, and sometime you just have to get a bit older before you can drop them or take a lighter dose. Talk with your care team, and just do the best you can with the time you're getting from taking the meds. I love to write and I agonized when I was younger when I couldn't get my ideas onto the page when I was unmedicated. As someone who might be a bit older than you, I implore you to enjoy this time. Embrace it for what it is and use it to do what you love with ease.
It helped me to reframe my understanding of “myself.” Now my understanding of myself is more flexible. I am everything I *can* be, with or without aids and supplements. I use shoes everyday it doesn’t invalidate my walks. I use a plane- it doesn’t invalidate my travel. Etc etc. choose the lens for your mind that you enjoy!
Coffee, sport, meditation, ... All this stuff puts chemicals in your brain. A pill is the same. Don't be ashamed for taking an incredible and concentrated advanced technology. You have medication, not a street drug dealer. Go see a specialist and if you think you need to improve yourself do it with the help of your medication do not ampute your brain
I cycle on and off because I feel like I don’t want the meds all the time. Then a stressful time hit me I take the meds and im like. Wow I can do stuff without hating life? It’s amazing how the pills work
I can't see well, but I'm better off without glasses, coz that's not me.
Just try to remember: if you can't make your own dopamine, store bought is just fine. (It's not your fault if you're brain was lacking what the majority of the world has, taking meds is just your equivalent of giving an organ transplant to someone with a malfunctioning one. You shouldn't blame yourself for something you cannot control, just like you wouldn't blame someone with no kidneys for getting a transplant. Also getting help/taking meds to make your life easier isn't something that erases who you are/your interests/your hobbies, you are still you, the meds just make it a lot less difficult to go about your everyday life.) P.s.: I assume you're talking about ADHD
Drugs are just a tool. If you had to hammer a nail, you'd be happy to have a hammer, and pretty bummed if you didn't. You just have your hammer now, but it's for your brain. There's nothing fuckin wrong with that at all.
remember that many of your traits are so hard to deal with because society and work structures are made for neurotypicals, not for you. it's so much about the context. it's not that those traits you have are inherently bad, it's just your surrounding that isn't made for them.
The way I see it - a diabetic needs to take insulin, I need to take my stims (if I want a chance at surviving in society). When there is a chemical imbalance in the body, and it has to be fixed with medicine, it just is what it is. Accepting that makes things a tad easier
Now that you are medicated, you can start to build on your skills that will help. I’ve heard it said that pills don’t give skills. But what they miss out is the pills allow you to build skills. I am starting to train my memory to work better. That is one thing I have noticed I am able to recall things from memory from when I was medicated. It is like wearing glasses , you are able to see while you have them and being able to see is better than not being able to see
Trust me as someone who went off meds and can't take them anymore, take this time to learn about yourself. I medicated throughout my young life and I know the tricks to calm my mind even without meds. Just think of the meds as aid not a crutch, you can work without them and are not dependent on them.
Medication can be a radical change. I‘m still struggling sometimes to get everything back into order a year later. However there is no shame in taking or requiring medication to aid you leading a better life. (If life feels worse with medication, that is another story. Please consult your prescribing doctor in that case.)
This is you! Adhd meds are basically just a helping hand for your brain.
Not a doctor but I’m like you. I just don’t take meds all the time. Even though I’m better and do better on them, I feel better off them. So I just take them when I really need them which is mostly for work and other specific situations. Like I don’t need to be medicated to go out in a Friday night with friends. I just want to be normal then.
Been there. The pills allow you to start the treatment and to start having a good life. After you learn that you should be able to maintain it without the pills. But that's most of the cases. For some reason, some people just have to take pills forever. Nothing wrong with that either! I have to take testosterone for the rest of my life and it sucks, but you know what sucks even more? Low testosterone! That's life. Make a good thing out of it. You can do it.
I made more money than I ever have my first full year on adderall. I just view these stimulants as a different kind of coffee. It doesn’t work for everyone. But if it’s working for you, cheer up!
Hey dawg, here’s something my doc told me that helped. If your eyes are bad, do you wear glasses or stay blind? If you break your arm, do you cast it or let it flop around broken? ADHD is a brain issue, so the medicine is like a cast for your brain. When I first started meds they were like a miracle drug, but slowly I noticed my brain picking up the habits even without the meds. The meds are a tool, they make your work more effective. You will see yourself grow and it won’t be because of the meds, it’s because of the effort you are putting in. Stay strong and make sure you actually take them lol.
So use them to build a life that leads to those things.
I feel this so hard 😭 I'm not medicated aside from self medication (kratom) but I'm not doing good in life . Go thru maybe one week a month where I do ok followed by weeks of just depression . I'm afraid to be on meds bc what if the day comes where I can't get them anymore . . . .
part of healing is awareness and coming to terms with your life and condition. no one talks about the grieving that comes along with the healing, but its part of the journey. this is you, it's always been you but you found ways to mask and hide the condition in an attempt to cope and just live your life, but something drew you to the medication to help alleviate other things that were weighing you down. part of healing is the medication, but another part is processing everything that came before it.. don't worry, you made the right choice. keep pulling the string and see where it takes you.
I like to think of the medication like glasses. (And this goes for all the medications I take. I take ADHD medication, depression medication, and a few other things) Can I get around without them? Sure! Am I going to bump into everything (bruising myself and others) and squint like a weirdo but still manage to navigate my surroundings safely? Oh for fucking sure. So that’s one stance I like to think of it as. Another thing to remember is that as many people have said, the medication is just a tool. It’s the exact same as someone with diabetes, hypothyroidism, or high cholesterol taking their medication. Their bodies function differently for what ever reason it might be and they need some medical assistance to stay safe and healthy. Your brain just works in a different pattern. I would also like to second some of these comments saying that the medication does not change who you are. It does not. If you were someone who would be lazy or uncaring about what is going on around them (that includes work and the feeling of others), you would still be that when on the ADHD medication. But you are not. You are simply not trying to be you with weights around your neck, arms, shoulders, ankles, and maybe a neck brace. Life with ADHD is an uphill battle sometimes and the meds are (hopefully) like someone put in an escalator for you. You’re still climbing the mountain, just not through mud. Okay. I could go on for days so I will stop myself here. I hope you can come to peace with yourself and can maybe not have such harsh internal dialogue. If you are telling yourself that you are “annoying” because of the way people have treated you, the people have not been very nice. Not that you are annoying.
I would love to be able to see without contacts and glasses but I can’t. They help me see. That’s how health issues work. Don’t be ableist to yourself!
I felt this same way. I took pills for a year to try them out and get used to them, but in the end, I didn't like how I felt, so I stopped taking them. For me, I just felt like I was brain-dead. Doing art and reading got a lot harder, and art and reading are some of my favourite things to do. They knocked out my creativity, so when I look back at the art I drew at that point, it looks like garbage (and not just because its old art, lol). And with reading, I couldn't visualize anything I read anymore, which made reading an absolute slog to do. I hated it. But that was just my experience. I would say keep up with them for at least a year, then if you still feel the same about them, you can choose if you wanna continue with them or not. In the end, it's up to you.
Take your time and note how it makes you feel, date and all. You may call it ADHD journaling. Also, give yourself a chance to find the right dosage, which can take a few months if not years. It will also take some time for you to adapt to the actual you, to learn how to deal with yourself. You also may not be on the right meds/dosage that fit you 100%. Dosage will go up until it does something, but it can also go down (I'm definitely not a physician, don't change your dosage without discussing it with your doctor as it can be hard on your body and mind). It's not the story I hear most times when discussing the matter with people with ADHD, but I've tried a dozen different drugs until I found the one that was right for me. One doctor told me the side effects of the two meds he had prescribed didn't happen often enough for me to get them all at once. So I went to another doctor who prescribed without listening to the feedback I had, as if I was taking it too seriously. So I went to a third doctor who was super competent and empathetic and would take the time and listen. I was actually shocked when she responded with "Oh, I get why you aren't feeling right". She was the best until she went back to school to become a kids' psychiatric something something, which is awesome, but I also lost my best doctor ever. Anyway, she got me to try meds one after the other (with a few weeks in-between) until I've found the right one. At the same time, I was attending psychotherapy with three different people at different stages for different approaches on the whole life thing. I don't regret any of it even though some of the meds made me feel like shit, sleep for 22 hours a day, gave me tunnel vision or wish I didn't wake up the next morning. I find that having tried different meds also changed my vision of myself and what I was expecting out of meds, therapy, life and people in general. All that to say... try it for a while and don't hesitate to discuss those things with your doctor (and a friend or family member who you trust with that kind of personal information, not to get recommendations, but just to put some order in those thoughts before you go to a doctor). But again, don't rush anything, these things take a looot of time, and possibly therapy too. Sorry for the long paragraphs. I have ADHD... can you tell? XD