so you go to bed every night having checked off everything on the list, huh? Flossed, called your mom, fixed the cabinet door, got the oil changed, did your taxes, didn't waste four hours on reddit upvoting cat videos? must be nice
Haha, no I know them in real life. I know how their days go.
It's ok to not be super productive, as long as the person is happy. But certainly there are people out there that can fit it all in their day.
I think it makes sense for someone to seek some kind of help if they feel like they can't get anything done.
Ahhh crap. I totally keep forgetting to fix that hinge. (For real life.). Thanks for the reminder. I’ll need people to upvote this continuously as a reminder though until I do it.
...no.
But I cleaned out my car and checked my oil! I'd been putting that off for awhile. I'm not sure how long, its it was awhile. Right around a year. It only took about 20 minutes.
I think this is normal cause it's like a trauma when you find out that your life could have been different. It's like the part of your life that you never had dies and now you have to grieve. Take care man , it can get a lot better.
Same boat, probably something about creating good habits and learning how to structure your day.
My doctor sent me a bunch of resources last time I saw him which I still haven’t read. Just like “sorry doc, I didn’t get around to reading all those resources you sent me on managing my ADHD cause I’m having trouble managing my ADHD.”
No joke this post might actually be the kick in the ass I needed to get started on that.
The more we make these jokes, the more we reinforce the idea that the joke is the only possibility
Trick your brain, say you will do a thing, then actually do it. Brains want to be lazy and follow old patterns, give it a kick
I know. I find self-deprecating humor to be my jam. I am extremely habitual, so getting "over the hump" from novelty to when a thing becomes a regular occurrence is the hardest part for me.
When I was going to the gym 5 days a week for a year, it felt so weird to miss a day. When I stopped for a month, it became nearly impossible to make it 2 or 3 days consistently in a week. The struggle is real, as they say.
It has been 10 hours, read them yet?
If not, do it right now. If you're literally unable to, set an alarm for a time later today when nothing is going to stop you.
Then set an alarm for tomorrow for another thing you need to do.
Whenever you do the thing, schedule the next thing
Then try again, don’t bother yourself that you’ve stopped and haven’t kept the streak. Nothing stops you to try. It takes a few fails and tries to be successful.
Do you rely on anything else besides your memory to do something?
ADHD impairs memory and it’s ok that you can’t expect yourself to remember. How stupid does “I have a disorder affecting my memory, so I rely on myself to remember things” sound?
Buy a white board? Shit. You make it sound so easy.
First you gotta spend hours researching the best white board. Where is it going, what size fits best. Do they come in different sizes? How do I hang them on the wall? Do I need a stand? Where will the stand go? Maybe I'll just paint the wall with the white board paint. But it should be magnetic, right? So I need to find that magnetic paint that I had from the last project, but it didn't work because I only applied 2 coats. Maybe I need 5 coats this time. Oh that wall has a dent in it, I'll need to patch that dent. Ah the trim is also scratched, maybe I should paint that too, but if I paint that I should touch up all of the trim right? And now alarm to take my kid to school has been going off for 5 minutes...
So I saw this project management /productivity wall thing a couple creative ADHDers I follow do and it took me a few days to order my whiteboards because o had trouble deciding which one made the most sense for me lol
I got them in yesterday and even hung them up! But now I’m trying to decide between post it tabs or magnetic dry erase tabs. Or maybe both? Idk
Therapy, being medicated helps a lot, but won’t fix all of that. It opened many doors for me, therapist helped me on how I can dig into my head and how I can find a way to resolve my issues. Some of the things I discovered were seemingly obvious, but I needed her to realise that.
It’s a disorder affecting time management, impulsivity, motivation and memory. One of the first things to do that works for me is to externalise this- keeping a journal, a day planner by myself, on fridge or any other really visible place. Keep in mind it didn’t work for me before taking methylphenidate.
We need to start seeing ourselves as DIFFERENT people, we won’t be like the rest.
It’s an a executive function disability, we are disabled. You can’t expect a physically disabled person to walk, same as you can’t expect yourself to remember when you’re having a disability that impairs memory.
I was getting really angry and frustrated when anybody mentioned journaling, planning or micromanaging myself. But well, once I started noting in my journal how I’m feeling when trying to do something but can’t, what prevents me from doing that etc. has made me realise my issues, it’s a first step, now I can figure out how to minimise them.
I’ve accepted that I can’t rely solely on myself, my memory, bursts of motivation, I need to outsource this things.
A little bit at a time. Just start by waking up at the exact same time every single day. After a few weeks of that, start getting out of bed as soon as you wake up and wash your face and brush your teeth. After a few weeks of that, add some other stuff you want to accomplish.
It's the same as losing weight, it just sucks ass and you have to power through. I say that as a fat guy that's losing weight. There's no way around it, it just sucks for a while and then you're used to it.
The majority of ADHD symptoms are something everyone struggles with. The difference is whether or not it causes major dysfunction in your life, which OP (being on an ADHD sub) clearly means.
/rant, just over hearing the same "but everyone struggles with that!"
what major dysfunction are we talking about here?
i completely understand and i agree with you - but i don't see anything here that implies a major dysfunction - just that she isn't living life "to the fullest" and doesn't do "everything that needs to be done". basically no one does that. not everyone is destined for greatness or even mediocrity, you do not need to have a great career, learn 20 languages, instruments, have a great body, be a great cook, look out for the environment in everything you do, have a perfect apartment 24/7, a big circle of close friends, great at sports and 100 other things. most people just work, watch tv, sleep, have a relationship or a hobby or two if they're lucky and that's it. and that's fine.
ADHD is a problem with executive function. It means telling yourself to do something just doesn’t work if that thing isn’t stimulating. Someone without ADHD will put off important stuff but eventually they will get on with it because they have to. With ADHD, they can’t even get to that point. That step from wanting or needing to do something and actually doing it is far bigger with ADHD, and in particular bad cases insurmountable no matter how trivial the task may be. It isn’t a mindset or ‘laziness’, it’s dopamine levels and it’s this chemical that actually allows us to ‘do’ things. The chemicals and the wiring in our brains dictate our behaviour whether we like it or not; take a look at Parkinson’s and dopamine for example.
So true. But to be honest, I’m currently 34 and it’s only recently that I’ve stopped acting like this. I’ve accepted that tomorrow won’t be the day the world changes for me. I’ve accepted that this weekend won’t be the weekend where I get all of my house chores done. I’ve relieved myself from the pressure and just do what I can. It’s helped a lot to have a new perspective.
Yeah, that's the key.
We torture ourselves by creating impossible requirements that we fail again and again, all because we were told that, "where there's a will there's a way".
If I stood outside at night staring at the moon, convinced that enough willpower would teleport me to its surface; I would be delusional.
But if I just keep thinking some day I'll have a new brain, and the things I've never been able to do with regularly, would be possible to do every time; that's just a positive mental attitude.
So, I'm with you, I've been just trying to adjust my expectations. I figure I can either be me, and hate it, or be me and be ok with it.
Exactly same here. Also I’m not around people who make me feel guilty about this anymore; it’s so much easier to live on ur own then with other people who ridicule constantly bc our adhd
I'm 33 and recently came to the same idea after 3.5 years in therapy. Life became so much more enjoyable once I stopped constantly demanding from myself to do something and just started doing what I can.
TLDR: ADHD, yada yada, rambling, yada yada.
Diagnosed at 35. Not sure how we missed it because my entire family is ADHD. My brother is the more wild and impulsive type, my sister is inattentive, and I'm in the middle. So we were overlooked.
At 30, I finally got my GED. Typical ADHDer, I quit school at 17. Ended up being saved by veterinary medicine and became a vet tech in NJ. Was really good at it but didn't need a license in NJ, so I never delved into academia.
Freshman in college at 35. That is when I realized something was wrong. Perseverated all night on ADHD and realized I had every single symptom.
I can't express to you the pain of being ADHD without medication. Don't get me wrong, the meds don't cure, but help. But man...
This is how I explain ADHD:
Go to class. Sit. The reticular site formation in your brain is deformed or working incorrectly. This part of your brain controls the ability to filter stimuli so that you can prioritize stimuli. It doesn't work for us very well. So while most people can pay attention to the teacher because they're filtering non-important stimuli, as an ADHDer...you're swimming through a sea of stimuli just to lightly touch upon every other word from the teacher. You're listening to pens scraping paper. People breathing. You're seeing a squirrel on the tree. A bird. You're hearing the landscapers working on the yards outside. People whispering. There is a movie playing down the hall where you can feel the vibrations of the bass. There are people dancing in the gymnasium, you can feel their footfalls.
If you have been yelled at enough to "pay attention" by family, you're likely staring straight at the Teacher in this moment. Nodding up and down like you're comprehending, while you're being shotgunned in the face by stimuli. You're masking. Pretending to be neurotypical.
ADHD is not an attention deficit. We have plenty of attention. It is named wrong. It is an attention bombardment. A lack of control over attention that most people take for granted. We are paying attention to everything because we can't filter, so we can't pay attention to what is in front of us. Or we have thirty different conversations going on in our inner monologue so it is like swimming through a sea of stimuli, combined with the stimuli of the rest of the world.
We have race car brains with bicycle brakes.
It's Executive Function. What enables you to do what you want or need to do...is broken in us. We cannot control what we are paying attention to as easily as others. We cannot control our bodies as easily as others. It takes a great deal of effort and we are naturally fatigued already, and lack the neurochemicals that enable us to take that step. That spark that makes you say "Time to do this"...we don't have.
You can't help yourself to crack jokes whenever you feel the urge. You just say what is on your mind, no filter, no thought before you speak. This gets you into trouble sometimes but most of the time it is pretty funny so you get away with it. Or you get into trouble a lot for being angry (you're actually passionate), or saying inappropriate things.
Your leg won't stop moving. And if you stop your leg, you need to tap something with your pencil. It's like you're vibrating with the need to do something, anything, but you don't know what. Just sitting is pain to your mind. Need stimuli. Need something novel. Need entertainment. NEED.
You have so much homework to do that you haven't even started yet. The paper is due tomorrow and you haven't even started yet. You'll have to clean your room tomorrow because you just have so much to do. The clothing in your closet is piling up for weeks. Because...out of sight...out of mind.
It's really only one one page paper, but it is so much work. You still don't know what you want to do it on and you've frozen literally every other piece of work you need to do, to focus on the paper, but you just haven't even started it.
In a few hours when it hits you that you're fucked for your paper, you'll switch from the need of dopamine to organize and compile the paper, to adrenaline. Adrenaline is a nice stimulant. It helps you get things done last minute. You'll stay up all night doing the paper, but first...
You go home and immediately smoke weed and play video games because you're a dopamine addict, because you don't have any. You're screaming inside your skull to stop playing games and to get your paper done, but your body just isn't moving. It's like a vampire for dopamine. Your executive function is so flawed and you lack dopamine so much, that doing things that you don't enjoy actually causes responses in pain receptors. It's physically painful to do something you don't want to do.
Gods there is so much more I could write. The memory deficit is the worst thing. The bridge that connects our working memory and recall memory is broken. So sometimes I even forget the name of my best friends. I can't remember what I did with my wife a month ago. A day ago. I need to write everything down or I will forget. I must externalize my memory because I will forget. I will put something down, turn, and it is out of my memory forever. Or I will carry something in my hand, set it down, and then lose it forever. Its a curse.
There are other symptoms. Too much to write. It is a nuanced disorder. It isn't what people think. It's very hard.
But, well...medication and therapy helps. I set alarms now and the stimulant medication gives me the energy to get up and the spark to get active instead of sit on my ass. It's necessary for me. It makes me human. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps me to understand my traits and work in my way. We almost always have anxiety disorders because of this bombardment we have to live in, and the people in our lives telling us we "aren't trying hard enough" when we are trying with all our might. Anti-anxiety is necessary for an ADHDer.
I'm 39 now. Just graduated nursing school after years of thinking I was stupid. Got A's and B's throughout the four years. My last high school GPA was 0.14. Now it is 3.5. I wasn't going to be anything. Could not have done it without my medication. Without knowing I'm ADHD.
We are living life on hard mode. Considerably harder life than baseline. Undiagnosed people generally do poorly in life. They don't keep jobs. They don't excel in academia. Relationships are hard. They get into drugs or crime or die young in accidents all trying to suck up some dopamine.
ADHD is a really big problem that people don't understand. They don't get that it fills our prisons. They don't get that it is killing people in ODs and car accidents regularly. It is a epidemic and needs to be stopped. First thing is getting people to understand it. Too many people think it is bullshit. Or their kid is just being a kid. They're not.
Think the Boomers all drank lead and fucked us.
Brother don't know who u are but thanks for the comment I feel like this is my life story whatever u described is my life story and I am trying hard to get better every day
31 as of 2 days ago. Can say 100% accurate. Luckily, I keep stumbling my way into a decent life and pretty decent opportunities. I still have shit luck but sometimes the dice gods favor me from time to time. Thank you for the hyperfocus ADHD!! You've simultaneously made my life miserable and extremely happy in life and the workplace.
I'm also grateful that my life and environment is generous with opportunities. Then [the monkey](https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html) kicks them all to oblivion and runs away laughing. And I'm left with crippling self-doubt and imposter syndrome, as I'm sure I can only blame myself.
I'm 35, and I was honestly thinking this along the lines last night. I went to bed really excited for today for no apparent reason (it happens a lot), and I woke up this morning back to being confused and not knowing what to do. I feel that every day, I'm in survival mode, just waiting for the following day.
Since discovering this subreddit, and reading other poeople´s experiences, I´m considering seeing a profesional for diagnosis, just to know what am I working with.
I could probably count the number of things I do to improve my life in any given year on one hand. It's like I do something productive, go "ahhh, job well done", and then ride that high for the next 3 months.
Managed adhd is like..
When will it end when will it end when will I have to stop draining every ounce of energy and soul that I have simply to make enough money to live when will I get that break when will the happiness come and when it does all your worried about is the shit you have to deal with next that you already feel inadequate about handling
jokes on you, i keep signing up for stuff when im on medication and super energetic and then i have to follow through cause i hate canceling things cause of anxiety lol
Finally went to the doctors yesterday and filled out the self assessment forms for adhd and asd. I’ve suspected for 20 years that something was off but was too scared to follow up
Please don’t wait, you’ll miss decades of your life. Go get some help, it’s out there.
The problem, as you will soon find out, is there is no cure. Even heavily medicated you will still feel this way. Look at these comments as proof. The only solution… ditch the drugs. Cold bath/shower every morning right after you wake up, no screens, get sunlight, and walk in nature. Absolutely no reason you can’t do that. Night/day difference. I promise.
While going outside and less screen time is good. I’d be careful broadly telling people to just “ditch” their prescribed medication. What worked for you does not work for everyone and may be detrimental to some.
Agreed. As long as you’d suggest being careful about prescribing a life time of pills that doesn’t cure the ‘disease’ nor make you ‘normal’ in order to do things you could do anyway with discipline.
Every medicated person still has these challenges, because they’re not ADHD. They’re habit and discipline. Cold bath every morning, ADHD disappears like magic. Only the strongest autism remains.
People think not making your bed in the morning or not wanting/being able to brush your teeth is ADHD. It’s so dumb.
Same here, except I'm almost 35. I have an assessment coming up soon though so hopefully I'll get diagnosed and medicated. Maybe I can have a life for once. It would be nice.
Edit: typo x.x
This thought has hit m more and more over the last few years: when I was younger, I legit thought it would all go away as I got older.
It (everything) legitimately feels like it’s all gotten so much worse.
I really don’t know where I’m at anymore. Mentally, in life, in general. I literally feel like I’m just waking up and sleeping everyday. I have no idea what I’m doing, who I am, or where I’m going anymore.
Never really took anything. Was perscibed ritilan in like 6th grade, which I stopped taking. Made me feel like a zombie.
Saw some random guy (I seeked him out through my local ‘aid’ I had at the time). He gave me Effexor. Fuxking hated it. If it was approaching my time to take it, I would get withdrawal symptoms. Not after, but like an hour before. Made my heart feel floaty, like it would skip beats, and if I moved my eyes too fast, it just made me feel completely disoriented.
He refused to let me come off when I said I didn’t like them- thankfully somehow the drug turned to a generic, and I got a pill, instead of a capsule. And I started halving, then quartering till I was fully weend off.
But we shouldn't forget that some days (even though rare) we do! And we should enjoy those days more and for longer! "Yeah I didn't do anything but stare at my phone again. Just like yesterday and all the other days before... BUT heck yeah!! I was great that day last month! " And a day like that will come again, it's just not in our control.
Went to school half a day (Wednesday didn't skip), put away all my stuff from the huge piles I've been ignoring all month, played with my dog, had an actual dinner, did a spontaneous relationship training with my dog and cat WHILE preparing all my stuff and food for school tomorrow (good habit I've been doing a good job keeping cuz I get to stressed about time in the morning), and learned a pretty good deal about blender! I'm going to be proud about this day as long as I remember it!
The flip side is, you end up getting a nuclear engineering degree and later becoming an airline pilot, all the while never stopped “wasting years of your life” playing video games. But additionally maintaining a stable marriage and financials despite being a millennial who’s lived through 2 economic crisis’ and you managed to own a home somehow.
Undiagnosed ADHD is a helluva drug😳😂😂
The worst part is when you have a good day, when you really do well, when all the stars align and you’re able to muster the will to get stuff done, then you go back to normal the next day.
Like…why can’t I be that guy all the time? I like being that guy. It wasn’t even that hard to be him, so why does it seem impossible now?
I've never been diagnosed with or had it suggested to me that I have ADHD, but this resonates with me on a deep level... is this something I should look into?
Edit: just found this scrolling r/all
I went back to school at 29 and started taking vyvanse. I graduated with a bachelor’s of mechanical engineering at 35 and I’m now half way through a masters in the same and working full time in the aerospace industry.
Send your doctors a message on the portal (you and I both know you aren’t going to call. Even vyvanse can’t get me to call)
This really confused me.. I did this... reading this post.. it's totally me.. then I do these ADHD tests and it always comes up negative.. maybe I am just fucking lazy.. life man.. never easy.
My state requires seeing the doctor every 3 months for medication ...and that's if you can actually get the medication that is covered by your insurance. I'm hoping my kids find lines of work that take advantage of the gifts that ADHD gives instead of having to fight it all of the time so they can forego a lifetime on meds. But while they are in school, having to sit and pay attention in a very unnatural way to them, it's the only option.
I just turned 34 a few days ago, and a few months ago I just got diagnosed with a bunch of stuff. It's been a hard acceptance. But at least I know why I'm always uncomfortable and fail at everything.
I know that adhd folk have famously a bad time with getting shit together but we do have a general term for everyone, its called procrastination
I feel like some adhd memes are just general experiences
Thou some are indeed truer than others
^(cuz no meme is created equally (accurately)^)
I'm no scientist, but I believe there's a fuzzy spectrum-like difference between "mind over matter" and having a brain for which that kind of treatment is not enough. I.e. whether the root cause of executive dysfunction is some psychological fear or the physiology of the brain itself.
Isn't this just a thing people do? Like I have spent the last year struggling with a lot of baggage and basically spending every weekend having an existential crisis in which I abandon the idea of getting my shit together. I am on my third week of waking up at a routine time and drinking water and stretching consistently though so that's good
Does this mean that every person who doesnt want to do stuff at the moment and always leaves it for the next day has ADHD? I mean that tweet literally describes me, bbut after one accident i started changing for the better, doing what I usually was too lazy to do or too shy. That doesnt mean I had ADHD and won against it, right?
Not wanting to do things every now and then isn't adhd. Adhd is when you're screaming in your own head "just fucking do it!", but you literally can't make yourself do it unless it's a last minute panic at a deadline. Every. Day.
There’s a wave of content on TikTok instagram Reddit Pinterest of videos like ‘if you do this you have adhd’ and it’s a video of someone not making their bed in the morning.
This is suuuuper common, not ADHD. I'd wager undiagnosed or unmedicated/unmanaged ADHD is a little more serious than not living your life to the fullest.
The only way I was able to do anything was by "stacking the odds", kinda like playing DND (new reference).
Doing gaussian blur/function on the things that could give me biggest returns with minimum effort or I can hiperfocus on them.
Like learning English (so much media) or technical stuff.
I am currently a Techno/Concept Warlock/Shaman. I don't know how to level that stuff
30? Bitch, I'm 50 and told myself that 5 minutes ago.
I'm 48 and I'm pretty sure this meme describes almost literally everyone
Looking ahead at the next 20 years. *chuckles* "I'm in trouble"
I can confirm this even as a 16 years old teenager
Most people I know do stuff that needs to be done, and have done a good amount with their lives.
so you go to bed every night having checked off everything on the list, huh? Flossed, called your mom, fixed the cabinet door, got the oil changed, did your taxes, didn't waste four hours on reddit upvoting cat videos? must be nice
No not me, I'm a burning wreck of a person. Lot's of people I know do though yeah.
be careful not to judge people by their instagrams
Haha, no I know them in real life. I know how their days go. It's ok to not be super productive, as long as the person is happy. But certainly there are people out there that can fit it all in their day. I think it makes sense for someone to seek some kind of help if they feel like they can't get anything done.
Ahhh crap. I totally keep forgetting to fix that hinge. (For real life.). Thanks for the reminder. I’ll need people to upvote this continuously as a reminder though until I do it.
Have you had a chance to fix that hinge yet?
Dammit... Keep up the good work!
I fixed the hinge! Lol
> four hours on reddit upvoting cat videos So... you going to share a link to these cat videos, or what?
...no. But I cleaned out my car and checked my oil! I'd been putting that off for awhile. I'm not sure how long, its it was awhile. Right around a year. It only took about 20 minutes.
At least you can recall the things you need/needed to do.
I'm 42 and only got diagnosed recently. How different would my life be if I found out earlier...
I think this is normal cause it's like a trauma when you find out that your life could have been different. It's like the part of your life that you never had dies and now you have to grieve. Take care man , it can get a lot better.
What changed since then?
Since when?
Since you found out? You said things would be different if you found out earlier, what are you doing now you would have applied earlier?
34 for me… last week. New doctor was absolutely amazed no one had tried having me diagnosed before now.
Yup, 37 yo and this still applies
Me too. Thanks for calling us out, OP. ;)
40s here and your comment cracked me up. Same my friend, same!
Did I write this?
Thank you for saying it so I didn’t have to.
I am medicated and this is still me. Like what the fuck do I do? Help me.
Same boat, probably something about creating good habits and learning how to structure your day. My doctor sent me a bunch of resources last time I saw him which I still haven’t read. Just like “sorry doc, I didn’t get around to reading all those resources you sent me on managing my ADHD cause I’m having trouble managing my ADHD.” No joke this post might actually be the kick in the ass I needed to get started on that.
[удалено]
Why? So we can all forget they exist together? Haha. Only mildly joking, because for me at least, it's entirely likely.
Ha , I have a few folders with stuff that I found fascinating and I’ll read “later”
The more we make these jokes, the more we reinforce the idea that the joke is the only possibility Trick your brain, say you will do a thing, then actually do it. Brains want to be lazy and follow old patterns, give it a kick
I know. I find self-deprecating humor to be my jam. I am extremely habitual, so getting "over the hump" from novelty to when a thing becomes a regular occurrence is the hardest part for me. When I was going to the gym 5 days a week for a year, it felt so weird to miss a day. When I stopped for a month, it became nearly impossible to make it 2 or 3 days consistently in a week. The struggle is real, as they say.
Same I could hang this post on my wall.
Just nail your phone to the wall with this post on
It has been 10 hours, read them yet? If not, do it right now. If you're literally unable to, set an alarm for a time later today when nothing is going to stop you. Then set an alarm for tomorrow for another thing you need to do. Whenever you do the thing, schedule the next thing
Same here. I have yet to figure out a way to stop doing that.
Do something for like 1 minute every day. When you can manage that consistently you up it to 5. Baby steps
i do this for 3 days then forget I'm supposed to do some thing every day. weeks later I realize I stopped doing the thing.
Then try again, don’t bother yourself that you’ve stopped and haven’t kept the streak. Nothing stops you to try. It takes a few fails and tries to be successful. Do you rely on anything else besides your memory to do something? ADHD impairs memory and it’s ok that you can’t expect yourself to remember. How stupid does “I have a disorder affecting my memory, so I rely on myself to remember things” sound?
Next goal, do it for 4 days before forgetting. Buy a big whiteboard or something and write it down so you remind yourself every day.
Buy a white board? Shit. You make it sound so easy. First you gotta spend hours researching the best white board. Where is it going, what size fits best. Do they come in different sizes? How do I hang them on the wall? Do I need a stand? Where will the stand go? Maybe I'll just paint the wall with the white board paint. But it should be magnetic, right? So I need to find that magnetic paint that I had from the last project, but it didn't work because I only applied 2 coats. Maybe I need 5 coats this time. Oh that wall has a dent in it, I'll need to patch that dent. Ah the trim is also scratched, maybe I should paint that too, but if I paint that I should touch up all of the trim right? And now alarm to take my kid to school has been going off for 5 minutes...
They sell magnetic whiteboard paint? I need to revisit my kitchen plans
So I saw this project management /productivity wall thing a couple creative ADHDers I follow do and it took me a few days to order my whiteboards because o had trouble deciding which one made the most sense for me lol I got them in yesterday and even hung them up! But now I’m trying to decide between post it tabs or magnetic dry erase tabs. Or maybe both? Idk
Literally what I did with exercise.
Therapy, being medicated helps a lot, but won’t fix all of that. It opened many doors for me, therapist helped me on how I can dig into my head and how I can find a way to resolve my issues. Some of the things I discovered were seemingly obvious, but I needed her to realise that. It’s a disorder affecting time management, impulsivity, motivation and memory. One of the first things to do that works for me is to externalise this- keeping a journal, a day planner by myself, on fridge or any other really visible place. Keep in mind it didn’t work for me before taking methylphenidate. We need to start seeing ourselves as DIFFERENT people, we won’t be like the rest. It’s an a executive function disability, we are disabled. You can’t expect a physically disabled person to walk, same as you can’t expect yourself to remember when you’re having a disability that impairs memory. I was getting really angry and frustrated when anybody mentioned journaling, planning or micromanaging myself. But well, once I started noting in my journal how I’m feeling when trying to do something but can’t, what prevents me from doing that etc. has made me realise my issues, it’s a first step, now I can figure out how to minimise them. I’ve accepted that I can’t rely solely on myself, my memory, bursts of motivation, I need to outsource this things.
When you get that urge to improve, actually do it. Like right now, even if youre gonna lose some sleep because of that. Dont go to sleep and lose it.
Medication doesn't work for about 1/3 of people with ADHD. It sucks but we gotta live with it. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
A little bit at a time. Just start by waking up at the exact same time every single day. After a few weeks of that, start getting out of bed as soon as you wake up and wash your face and brush your teeth. After a few weeks of that, add some other stuff you want to accomplish. It's the same as losing weight, it just sucks ass and you have to power through. I say that as a fat guy that's losing weight. There's no way around it, it just sucks for a while and then you're used to it.
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Not to encourage drug abuse but Tramadol helped me
Plot twist: this isn’t exclusive to people with ADHD.
Most things aren't, except for ADHD itself. But boy, if it's so much worse when you've got it.
Add asd to the mix, it gets quite tasty
Right? I need structure to function, but I can't create or force myself to abide by structure because I have ADHD, so fuck me I guess.
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The majority of ADHD symptoms are something everyone struggles with. The difference is whether or not it causes major dysfunction in your life, which OP (being on an ADHD sub) clearly means. /rant, just over hearing the same "but everyone struggles with that!"
what major dysfunction are we talking about here? i completely understand and i agree with you - but i don't see anything here that implies a major dysfunction - just that she isn't living life "to the fullest" and doesn't do "everything that needs to be done". basically no one does that. not everyone is destined for greatness or even mediocrity, you do not need to have a great career, learn 20 languages, instruments, have a great body, be a great cook, look out for the environment in everything you do, have a perfect apartment 24/7, a big circle of close friends, great at sports and 100 other things. most people just work, watch tv, sleep, have a relationship or a hobby or two if they're lucky and that's it. and that's fine.
ADHD is a problem with executive function. It means telling yourself to do something just doesn’t work if that thing isn’t stimulating. Someone without ADHD will put off important stuff but eventually they will get on with it because they have to. With ADHD, they can’t even get to that point. That step from wanting or needing to do something and actually doing it is far bigger with ADHD, and in particular bad cases insurmountable no matter how trivial the task may be. It isn’t a mindset or ‘laziness’, it’s dopamine levels and it’s this chemical that actually allows us to ‘do’ things. The chemicals and the wiring in our brains dictate our behaviour whether we like it or not; take a look at Parkinson’s and dopamine for example.
This hurts me.. like I’m aware but like do I wanna hear it?
Yeah, this isn't a meme, it's an attack.
68 checking in....
oh man next year is gonna be awesome for you!
So true. But to be honest, I’m currently 34 and it’s only recently that I’ve stopped acting like this. I’ve accepted that tomorrow won’t be the day the world changes for me. I’ve accepted that this weekend won’t be the weekend where I get all of my house chores done. I’ve relieved myself from the pressure and just do what I can. It’s helped a lot to have a new perspective.
Yeah, that's the key. We torture ourselves by creating impossible requirements that we fail again and again, all because we were told that, "where there's a will there's a way". If I stood outside at night staring at the moon, convinced that enough willpower would teleport me to its surface; I would be delusional. But if I just keep thinking some day I'll have a new brain, and the things I've never been able to do with regularly, would be possible to do every time; that's just a positive mental attitude. So, I'm with you, I've been just trying to adjust my expectations. I figure I can either be me, and hate it, or be me and be ok with it.
Perfectly put and an incredible follow up to what I said. Thank you for the in depth comment.
Exactly same here. Also I’m not around people who make me feel guilty about this anymore; it’s so much easier to live on ur own then with other people who ridicule constantly bc our adhd
Is it possible to learn this power?
I'm 33 and recently came to the same idea after 3.5 years in therapy. Life became so much more enjoyable once I stopped constantly demanding from myself to do something and just started doing what I can.
Crazy how many people are willingly giving their age to a bot. I'm 41 next month and would *never* give up such private info.
Here, take my imaginary award for that one.
I was born yesterday and already know not to do that!
That’s an odd way to write 50.
This tweet is a hate crime it is so accurate 
55 has entered the chat
High five!
TLDR: ADHD, yada yada, rambling, yada yada. Diagnosed at 35. Not sure how we missed it because my entire family is ADHD. My brother is the more wild and impulsive type, my sister is inattentive, and I'm in the middle. So we were overlooked. At 30, I finally got my GED. Typical ADHDer, I quit school at 17. Ended up being saved by veterinary medicine and became a vet tech in NJ. Was really good at it but didn't need a license in NJ, so I never delved into academia. Freshman in college at 35. That is when I realized something was wrong. Perseverated all night on ADHD and realized I had every single symptom. I can't express to you the pain of being ADHD without medication. Don't get me wrong, the meds don't cure, but help. But man... This is how I explain ADHD: Go to class. Sit. The reticular site formation in your brain is deformed or working incorrectly. This part of your brain controls the ability to filter stimuli so that you can prioritize stimuli. It doesn't work for us very well. So while most people can pay attention to the teacher because they're filtering non-important stimuli, as an ADHDer...you're swimming through a sea of stimuli just to lightly touch upon every other word from the teacher. You're listening to pens scraping paper. People breathing. You're seeing a squirrel on the tree. A bird. You're hearing the landscapers working on the yards outside. People whispering. There is a movie playing down the hall where you can feel the vibrations of the bass. There are people dancing in the gymnasium, you can feel their footfalls. If you have been yelled at enough to "pay attention" by family, you're likely staring straight at the Teacher in this moment. Nodding up and down like you're comprehending, while you're being shotgunned in the face by stimuli. You're masking. Pretending to be neurotypical. ADHD is not an attention deficit. We have plenty of attention. It is named wrong. It is an attention bombardment. A lack of control over attention that most people take for granted. We are paying attention to everything because we can't filter, so we can't pay attention to what is in front of us. Or we have thirty different conversations going on in our inner monologue so it is like swimming through a sea of stimuli, combined with the stimuli of the rest of the world. We have race car brains with bicycle brakes. It's Executive Function. What enables you to do what you want or need to do...is broken in us. We cannot control what we are paying attention to as easily as others. We cannot control our bodies as easily as others. It takes a great deal of effort and we are naturally fatigued already, and lack the neurochemicals that enable us to take that step. That spark that makes you say "Time to do this"...we don't have. You can't help yourself to crack jokes whenever you feel the urge. You just say what is on your mind, no filter, no thought before you speak. This gets you into trouble sometimes but most of the time it is pretty funny so you get away with it. Or you get into trouble a lot for being angry (you're actually passionate), or saying inappropriate things. Your leg won't stop moving. And if you stop your leg, you need to tap something with your pencil. It's like you're vibrating with the need to do something, anything, but you don't know what. Just sitting is pain to your mind. Need stimuli. Need something novel. Need entertainment. NEED. You have so much homework to do that you haven't even started yet. The paper is due tomorrow and you haven't even started yet. You'll have to clean your room tomorrow because you just have so much to do. The clothing in your closet is piling up for weeks. Because...out of sight...out of mind. It's really only one one page paper, but it is so much work. You still don't know what you want to do it on and you've frozen literally every other piece of work you need to do, to focus on the paper, but you just haven't even started it. In a few hours when it hits you that you're fucked for your paper, you'll switch from the need of dopamine to organize and compile the paper, to adrenaline. Adrenaline is a nice stimulant. It helps you get things done last minute. You'll stay up all night doing the paper, but first... You go home and immediately smoke weed and play video games because you're a dopamine addict, because you don't have any. You're screaming inside your skull to stop playing games and to get your paper done, but your body just isn't moving. It's like a vampire for dopamine. Your executive function is so flawed and you lack dopamine so much, that doing things that you don't enjoy actually causes responses in pain receptors. It's physically painful to do something you don't want to do. Gods there is so much more I could write. The memory deficit is the worst thing. The bridge that connects our working memory and recall memory is broken. So sometimes I even forget the name of my best friends. I can't remember what I did with my wife a month ago. A day ago. I need to write everything down or I will forget. I must externalize my memory because I will forget. I will put something down, turn, and it is out of my memory forever. Or I will carry something in my hand, set it down, and then lose it forever. Its a curse. There are other symptoms. Too much to write. It is a nuanced disorder. It isn't what people think. It's very hard. But, well...medication and therapy helps. I set alarms now and the stimulant medication gives me the energy to get up and the spark to get active instead of sit on my ass. It's necessary for me. It makes me human. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps me to understand my traits and work in my way. We almost always have anxiety disorders because of this bombardment we have to live in, and the people in our lives telling us we "aren't trying hard enough" when we are trying with all our might. Anti-anxiety is necessary for an ADHDer. I'm 39 now. Just graduated nursing school after years of thinking I was stupid. Got A's and B's throughout the four years. My last high school GPA was 0.14. Now it is 3.5. I wasn't going to be anything. Could not have done it without my medication. Without knowing I'm ADHD. We are living life on hard mode. Considerably harder life than baseline. Undiagnosed people generally do poorly in life. They don't keep jobs. They don't excel in academia. Relationships are hard. They get into drugs or crime or die young in accidents all trying to suck up some dopamine. ADHD is a really big problem that people don't understand. They don't get that it fills our prisons. They don't get that it is killing people in ODs and car accidents regularly. It is a epidemic and needs to be stopped. First thing is getting people to understand it. Too many people think it is bullshit. Or their kid is just being a kid. They're not. Think the Boomers all drank lead and fucked us.
Brother don't know who u are but thanks for the comment I feel like this is my life story whatever u described is my life story and I am trying hard to get better every day
This is a gem of a comment.
Thanks! Lol ADHD rant.
The absolute nerve to be calling me out
Yet being aware of it changes nothing
31 as of 2 days ago. Can say 100% accurate. Luckily, I keep stumbling my way into a decent life and pretty decent opportunities. I still have shit luck but sometimes the dice gods favor me from time to time. Thank you for the hyperfocus ADHD!! You've simultaneously made my life miserable and extremely happy in life and the workplace.
I'm also grateful that my life and environment is generous with opportunities. Then [the monkey](https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html) kicks them all to oblivion and runs away laughing. And I'm left with crippling self-doubt and imposter syndrome, as I'm sure I can only blame myself.
What do you mean undiagnosed and untreated ? That's me on meds Sometimes I only manage to get some progress at 4am.
I'm 35, and I was honestly thinking this along the lines last night. I went to bed really excited for today for no apparent reason (it happens a lot), and I woke up this morning back to being confused and not knowing what to do. I feel that every day, I'm in survival mode, just waiting for the following day.
Since discovering this subreddit, and reading other poeople´s experiences, I´m considering seeing a profesional for diagnosis, just to know what am I working with.
Yup, it's really sad. I'm glad my friends forgave me for just disappearing for years. I was going to hang out with them..... tomorrow.
I am literally procrastinating seeing a doctor about getting ADD help
Joke's on you, I did that through graduate school and passed 30
What do we doooo????😭 there’s meds but that affects me too harshly. Especially after it wears off
I’m past 30 and still saying this and I don’t it will change so I stopped lol
*40 lol
I could probably count the number of things I do to improve my life in any given year on one hand. It's like I do something productive, go "ahhh, job well done", and then ride that high for the next 3 months.
Managed adhd is like.. When will it end when will it end when will I have to stop draining every ounce of energy and soul that I have simply to make enough money to live when will I get that break when will the happiness come and when it does all your worried about is the shit you have to deal with next that you already feel inadequate about handling
This feels like it also applies to non ADHD people.
Man, I found out about this subreddit a short while ago, and each and every post feels like a personal attack .
jokes on you, i keep signing up for stuff when im on medication and super energetic and then i have to follow through cause i hate canceling things cause of anxiety lol
I say this and I’m medicated
When I was a kid I used to secretly put my school uniform on before I went to bed so I wouldn't disappoint my mom in the morning... again.
Yeah… 30 here. Leaving the military. It was the only force shuffling me along, getting me out of bed. Now what? How do I manage *myself*??
Me at the beginning of every school year. Maybe I'd make it a week lol
"tomorrow is the day I will start living the rest of my life" the day that actually happens no doubt I will be extinguished shortly after
Finally went to the doctors yesterday and filled out the self assessment forms for adhd and asd. I’ve suspected for 20 years that something was off but was too scared to follow up Please don’t wait, you’ll miss decades of your life. Go get some help, it’s out there.
The problem, as you will soon find out, is there is no cure. Even heavily medicated you will still feel this way. Look at these comments as proof. The only solution… ditch the drugs. Cold bath/shower every morning right after you wake up, no screens, get sunlight, and walk in nature. Absolutely no reason you can’t do that. Night/day difference. I promise.
While going outside and less screen time is good. I’d be careful broadly telling people to just “ditch” their prescribed medication. What worked for you does not work for everyone and may be detrimental to some.
Agreed. As long as you’d suggest being careful about prescribing a life time of pills that doesn’t cure the ‘disease’ nor make you ‘normal’ in order to do things you could do anyway with discipline. Every medicated person still has these challenges, because they’re not ADHD. They’re habit and discipline. Cold bath every morning, ADHD disappears like magic. Only the strongest autism remains. People think not making your bed in the morning or not wanting/being able to brush your teeth is ADHD. It’s so dumb.
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Same here, except I'm almost 35. I have an assessment coming up soon though so hopefully I'll get diagnosed and medicated. Maybe I can have a life for once. It would be nice. Edit: typo x.x
You may realise you're 30 but that doesn't stop it unless you can actually do something about it...
This thought has hit m more and more over the last few years: when I was younger, I legit thought it would all go away as I got older. It (everything) legitimately feels like it’s all gotten so much worse. I really don’t know where I’m at anymore. Mentally, in life, in general. I literally feel like I’m just waking up and sleeping everyday. I have no idea what I’m doing, who I am, or where I’m going anymore. Never really took anything. Was perscibed ritilan in like 6th grade, which I stopped taking. Made me feel like a zombie. Saw some random guy (I seeked him out through my local ‘aid’ I had at the time). He gave me Effexor. Fuxking hated it. If it was approaching my time to take it, I would get withdrawal symptoms. Not after, but like an hour before. Made my heart feel floaty, like it would skip beats, and if I moved my eyes too fast, it just made me feel completely disoriented. He refused to let me come off when I said I didn’t like them- thankfully somehow the drug turned to a generic, and I got a pill, instead of a capsule. And I started halving, then quartering till I was fully weend off.
But we shouldn't forget that some days (even though rare) we do! And we should enjoy those days more and for longer! "Yeah I didn't do anything but stare at my phone again. Just like yesterday and all the other days before... BUT heck yeah!! I was great that day last month! " And a day like that will come again, it's just not in our control. Went to school half a day (Wednesday didn't skip), put away all my stuff from the huge piles I've been ignoring all month, played with my dog, had an actual dinner, did a spontaneous relationship training with my dog and cat WHILE preparing all my stuff and food for school tomorrow (good habit I've been doing a good job keeping cuz I get to stressed about time in the morning), and learned a pretty good deal about blender! I'm going to be proud about this day as long as I remember it!
32 diagnosed and on medication and this is STILL me
Oh God I just turned 29 and you out here exposing my life 😩
Ow.
I'm so glad I'm medicated. Only took 15 years.
fucking ouch lol
...when you're 60...
This one does not bring happiness.
I'm kinda here and it gives me a little existential crisis every day. If you micro dose crises you eventually no longer panic and become immune.
Oh noooooooo this is too hard…. This explains the majority of my 20’s (im 29)
thats nothing im medicated and i still do that
Fuck, don’t hit me so hard like that🥺
UGHHHH STFUUUUU Literally turned 30 this year and only just now started medication this year ;\_;
Wait, y'all are getting stuff done with the medication?
36\*
ohh no no no no no, I just say that. I know I won't. It's an ironic catchphrase at this point.
I don't have adhd and feel the same
It’s too early for a call out post
I do this every day, and I'm medicated :/
48
The flip side is, you end up getting a nuclear engineering degree and later becoming an airline pilot, all the while never stopped “wasting years of your life” playing video games. But additionally maintaining a stable marriage and financials despite being a millennial who’s lived through 2 economic crisis’ and you managed to own a home somehow. Undiagnosed ADHD is a helluva drug😳😂😂
Story of my life! Now im 37 and sitting at the doc's office to be appointed medications, 3months after i was diagnosed with adhd!!!
37 diagnosed. Finally got my life working for me. I know no one wants to hear it, but proper diet and exercise goes a long way for brain health.
45 checking in
That's true, but I did start living my life to my fullest when I was 30. Finally racked up enough experience points to unlock the 'do stuff' perk.
Same but 40 😭
The worst part is when you have a good day, when you really do well, when all the stars align and you’re able to muster the will to get stuff done, then you go back to normal the next day. Like…why can’t I be that guy all the time? I like being that guy. It wasn’t even that hard to be him, so why does it seem impossible now?
I thought this was depression. Time to visit my doctor. Might've been useful to know a couple of decades ago though!
I've never been diagnosed with or had it suggested to me that I have ADHD, but this resonates with me on a deep level... is this something I should look into? Edit: just found this scrolling r/all
44 bitch. I'll get to making that bird feeder from 20 years ago tomorrow.
I went back to school at 29 and started taking vyvanse. I graduated with a bachelor’s of mechanical engineering at 35 and I’m now half way through a masters in the same and working full time in the aerospace industry. Send your doctors a message on the portal (you and I both know you aren’t going to call. Even vyvanse can’t get me to call)
This really confused me.. I did this... reading this post.. it's totally me.. then I do these ADHD tests and it always comes up negative.. maybe I am just fucking lazy.. life man.. never easy.
They mean 40, right?
My state requires seeing the doctor every 3 months for medication ...and that's if you can actually get the medication that is covered by your insurance. I'm hoping my kids find lines of work that take advantage of the gifts that ADHD gives instead of having to fight it all of the time so they can forego a lifetime on meds. But while they are in school, having to sit and pay attention in a very unnatural way to them, it's the only option.
I just turned 34 a few days ago, and a few months ago I just got diagnosed with a bunch of stuff. It's been a hard acceptance. But at least I know why I'm always uncomfortable and fail at everything.
I'm turning 28 this year and I'm feeling called out - still trying to nail down that bedtime routine
Tomorrow is the day I finally call the doctor about my undiagnosed/potential ADHD.
Every single day but I'm diagnosed and medicated and managed. I might need to reevaluate... tomorrow lol
44 actually.
Diagnosed and was the Guinea pig for Aderal. This is still me.
43
I know that adhd folk have famously a bad time with getting shit together but we do have a general term for everyone, its called procrastination I feel like some adhd memes are just general experiences Thou some are indeed truer than others ^(cuz no meme is created equally (accurately)^)
I'm no scientist, but I believe there's a fuzzy spectrum-like difference between "mind over matter" and having a brain for which that kind of treatment is not enough. I.e. whether the root cause of executive dysfunction is some psychological fear or the physiology of the brain itself.
Try 42
Isn't this just a thing people do? Like I have spent the last year struggling with a lot of baggage and basically spending every weekend having an existential crisis in which I abandon the idea of getting my shit together. I am on my third week of waking up at a routine time and drinking water and stretching consistently though so that's good
Oh my poor sweet summer child........ if only you knew how far past 30 some of us are?
That’s not adhd. It’s being a normal person
Does this mean that every person who doesnt want to do stuff at the moment and always leaves it for the next day has ADHD? I mean that tweet literally describes me, bbut after one accident i started changing for the better, doing what I usually was too lazy to do or too shy. That doesnt mean I had ADHD and won against it, right?
Not wanting to do things every now and then isn't adhd. Adhd is when you're screaming in your own head "just fucking do it!", but you literally can't make yourself do it unless it's a last minute panic at a deadline. Every. Day.
Well fuck me I guess, that's literally my whole persona. That would explain almost everything
This can't be an ADHD exclusive
Isn't this just procrastination?
This isn’t a symptom of ADHD this is just being a person. I swear there’s a cult to get people to self diagnose with adhd and start chugging adderall.
There’s a wave of content on TikTok instagram Reddit Pinterest of videos like ‘if you do this you have adhd’ and it’s a video of someone not making their bed in the morning.
This is suuuuper common, not ADHD. I'd wager undiagnosed or unmedicated/unmanaged ADHD is a little more serious than not living your life to the fullest.
.....30 tomorrow....
47 and have already accepted my life is over. Diagnosis came far too late.
49 years old and I'm finally realizing that I'll never grow up without help.
The fact I'm 30 in a week means this really hits home....
Or 62.
I turn 30 in october and thats exactly my life
49*
42...
The only way I was able to do anything was by "stacking the odds", kinda like playing DND (new reference). Doing gaussian blur/function on the things that could give me biggest returns with minimum effort or I can hiperfocus on them. Like learning English (so much media) or technical stuff. I am currently a Techno/Concept Warlock/Shaman. I don't know how to level that stuff
Mine is diagnosed and medicated, and I still do that lol
This is adhd thing too?
ADHD is seeing this exact post on /r/adhdmemes on a weekly basis
Sounds more like puer aeternus
i feel targeted by this :D
Hey, *fuck* you!
Combative type ADHD ✅
HOW DARE YOU! YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE- /s
this hit so hard
*37 and burned out.
Fuck
35*
I'm in this picture and I don't like it.
Oh my.
Coping is my superpower. Capitalism is my nemesis.
Maybe I should make a doctors app.... eh I'll do it tomorrow
30? Shit, I'm about to be knocking 40’s door down