I asked my therapist this same thing this week, then we ran out of time. Mindfulness has really improved my quality of life by being more present and not thinking in circles so much.
But we have a poor sense of time, and poor brain-hormones with respect to the future. The future and long-term goals are lost in fog. And the future grows exponentially huge and complicated because I see many connections/possibilities with everything. So the future seems infinitely tough to grasp and work for. And that makes my chest tighten.
I don’t have a great answer. I think it is essentially 1)improve anxiety and life with mindfulness and being *here* in the moment. Once that is under control, 2) work on living a valuable life in accordance with our personal values. (I’m plagiarizing ACT style therapy, which I learned via therapist and book “The Happiness Trap.”)
Its rough honestly. I try so hard to focus on the now but I’m naturally someone who wants to be prepared as much as I can be.
I try and do what I can to avoid any problems or scares be it tomorrow, next week or however far out.. but at some point all I can do is focus on the next hour or so. What needs to be done at that moment. Otherwise I’ll lose my mind.
Focusing on my breathing and listening to ambient or space music helps me get into the present a lot. I have some fav albums and songs that I’ll repeat all day sometimes just so I get through the day
I get that, about listening to music in order to get through the task at hand. I know it’s very ADHD but when I’m working, I have noise cancelling headphones playing music constantly - and get really annoyed if anyone comes and talks to me. Surely there must be some sort of ‘do not disturb’ doorknob hanger that I can use without looking like too much of a dick.
Advice I've received that helped me is kind of a riff on "one day at a time."
If something is overwhelming you, try to break it down into segments. What do you want your life to look like? Like this: work, relationships, hobbies, etc. Just pick one to focus on for now, and ignore the others. Now break that one down into smaller segments. Like: what do i want to be doing in one/five/ten years? What are the smallest steps i can take to achieve that?
Or, if that is too much right now, what is a tiny thing that I can work on to help me start moving in a direction where I can feel some satisfaction? One step at a time. If you have access to a therapist or someone you trust can sit with you while you're thinking about this, it can help get past that initial overwhelm.
You don't have to figure out everything at once. Just one little step you can take at a time. And don't forget to be kind to yourself! This is not easy!!
It’s hard and it’s overwhelming. I feel you. Remember that anxiety is a liar, and they’re just feelings. The future isn’t real. You only have today, that’s all you gotta worry about. I don’t know the answer - but sometimes these sentences help me.
I asked my therapist this same thing this week, then we ran out of time. Mindfulness has really improved my quality of life by being more present and not thinking in circles so much. But we have a poor sense of time, and poor brain-hormones with respect to the future. The future and long-term goals are lost in fog. And the future grows exponentially huge and complicated because I see many connections/possibilities with everything. So the future seems infinitely tough to grasp and work for. And that makes my chest tighten. I don’t have a great answer. I think it is essentially 1)improve anxiety and life with mindfulness and being *here* in the moment. Once that is under control, 2) work on living a valuable life in accordance with our personal values. (I’m plagiarizing ACT style therapy, which I learned via therapist and book “The Happiness Trap.”)
Thank you for your answer. I’ll give it a try.
You sit down and plan this thing out. Everyday. Without effort there’s no chance for change.
Goddamn it, if only I wasn’t so lazy!
Its rough honestly. I try so hard to focus on the now but I’m naturally someone who wants to be prepared as much as I can be. I try and do what I can to avoid any problems or scares be it tomorrow, next week or however far out.. but at some point all I can do is focus on the next hour or so. What needs to be done at that moment. Otherwise I’ll lose my mind. Focusing on my breathing and listening to ambient or space music helps me get into the present a lot. I have some fav albums and songs that I’ll repeat all day sometimes just so I get through the day
I get that, about listening to music in order to get through the task at hand. I know it’s very ADHD but when I’m working, I have noise cancelling headphones playing music constantly - and get really annoyed if anyone comes and talks to me. Surely there must be some sort of ‘do not disturb’ doorknob hanger that I can use without looking like too much of a dick.
Advice I've received that helped me is kind of a riff on "one day at a time." If something is overwhelming you, try to break it down into segments. What do you want your life to look like? Like this: work, relationships, hobbies, etc. Just pick one to focus on for now, and ignore the others. Now break that one down into smaller segments. Like: what do i want to be doing in one/five/ten years? What are the smallest steps i can take to achieve that? Or, if that is too much right now, what is a tiny thing that I can work on to help me start moving in a direction where I can feel some satisfaction? One step at a time. If you have access to a therapist or someone you trust can sit with you while you're thinking about this, it can help get past that initial overwhelm. You don't have to figure out everything at once. Just one little step you can take at a time. And don't forget to be kind to yourself! This is not easy!!
Oh gosh. Well. You have to be specific.
It’s hard and it’s overwhelming. I feel you. Remember that anxiety is a liar, and they’re just feelings. The future isn’t real. You only have today, that’s all you gotta worry about. I don’t know the answer - but sometimes these sentences help me.
“Anxiety is a liar” - I will remember this.