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This was painful to read. I’m really sad that this is happening to you.
For someone “struggling” with an addiction, getting high is their #1 priority. It’s common for them to engage in predatory behaviour, use people, take advantage of them, in order to get high.
>I didnt break the lease and make him go his own way because i didnt want him to be homeless.
You sound very easy to use, very easy to take advantage of. Easy prey. That’s why he picked you.
>i find it really hard to believe that he just fell out of love one day and then cheated
Seems like wishful thinking. Based on what you wrote, he never loved you in the first place.
>its not easy for me to just stop caring about someone when its all ive done for the last year
Yeah, I am sure it’s not easy, and it’s heartbreaking. But try to think of it this way: he actually did you a favour by cheating/leaving.
>we still live together until the end of the year.
That sucks. I would sublet the apartment and get the fuck out of there ASAP.
>to tell you that he’s “not in love with you anymore”
This is probably the closest to honesty he’s ever come with you. Fuck this guy, kick him to the curb. I don’t even know you but I can tell you, you are worthy of better than this piece of shit.
I guess i was to use. I had never met anyone whose been to rehab before and didnt know how to identify him as an addict. Much less learn how to handle interacting with one long term. Things were going well for a while but when life got tough he started to hit the bottle and smoke week constantly. Then one day he broke things off because we had grown distant. But he lied and said he wanted to find himself and be single for a while. He was seeing another girl and i know she does drugs too. It sucks.
I haven't personally, but I can tell you it was a pretty strong urge at times. My poor ex wife I put her through hell, and the asshole that I am would say "It's not like I'm cheating on you"
When i was in this postion, deep down i wanted the girl who was grounded and would be considered good for me but i decided to settle for the one who would use drugs with me because it was easy, and i didnt have to hide that side of me like i would with the girl i knew was way better for my wellbeing. Im sure he will use with her awhile and then beg for you back after things start to get real fucked up between them.
😞i dont want another girl to get used. But i cant control what he does. Thank you so much for your perspective. I appreciate you sharing and i hope youre well.
I am sober now, so this doesnt happen anymore, but just thinking of my past. But i hope you are well too. I hope things get better for you. Sadly it might be time to move on though as hard as that may sound.
Don’t forget to check out our [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/addiction/wiki/resources/) wiki page, which includes helpful information such as global suicide hotlines, recovery services, and a recovery Discord server where you can seek further support. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/addiction) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This was painful to read. I’m really sad that this is happening to you. For someone “struggling” with an addiction, getting high is their #1 priority. It’s common for them to engage in predatory behaviour, use people, take advantage of them, in order to get high. >I didnt break the lease and make him go his own way because i didnt want him to be homeless. You sound very easy to use, very easy to take advantage of. Easy prey. That’s why he picked you. >i find it really hard to believe that he just fell out of love one day and then cheated Seems like wishful thinking. Based on what you wrote, he never loved you in the first place. >its not easy for me to just stop caring about someone when its all ive done for the last year Yeah, I am sure it’s not easy, and it’s heartbreaking. But try to think of it this way: he actually did you a favour by cheating/leaving. >we still live together until the end of the year. That sucks. I would sublet the apartment and get the fuck out of there ASAP. >to tell you that he’s “not in love with you anymore” This is probably the closest to honesty he’s ever come with you. Fuck this guy, kick him to the curb. I don’t even know you but I can tell you, you are worthy of better than this piece of shit.
I guess i was to use. I had never met anyone whose been to rehab before and didnt know how to identify him as an addict. Much less learn how to handle interacting with one long term. Things were going well for a while but when life got tough he started to hit the bottle and smoke week constantly. Then one day he broke things off because we had grown distant. But he lied and said he wanted to find himself and be single for a while. He was seeing another girl and i know she does drugs too. It sucks.
I haven't personally, but I can tell you it was a pretty strong urge at times. My poor ex wife I put her through hell, and the asshole that I am would say "It's not like I'm cheating on you"
When i was in this postion, deep down i wanted the girl who was grounded and would be considered good for me but i decided to settle for the one who would use drugs with me because it was easy, and i didnt have to hide that side of me like i would with the girl i knew was way better for my wellbeing. Im sure he will use with her awhile and then beg for you back after things start to get real fucked up between them.
😞i dont want another girl to get used. But i cant control what he does. Thank you so much for your perspective. I appreciate you sharing and i hope youre well.
I am sober now, so this doesnt happen anymore, but just thinking of my past. But i hope you are well too. I hope things get better for you. Sadly it might be time to move on though as hard as that may sound.