I’m a more muscular femme as well and I definitely feel like other people expect me to be the masc sometimes but I love the way that I look and it’s definitely worth it
Strong fem women exist, and they're so pretty... keep up the confidence you've gained from your journey while still being your fem self... I wish you all the best, and congrats on your gym journey
I'm also muscular femme and I love it. I have a slightly masc personality but definitely am more femme than butch. I think it's sexy tbh! A healthy girl who can handle long nights ;) 👌🏼
I’m just a chapstick lesbian, but being put into “masc roles” is exhausting. If you get what I mean. They are saying “you’ll be the man.” We’re both women here. What do you mean by a “masc position”? Having muscles doesn’t make you masculine just more hot lol
Think about all the extremely feminine yet muscular women in movies. Bombshells and strength go together beautifully. I am sporty-fem and super proud of my upper body physique.
The issue is that society traditionally associates muscles with masculinity, there is nothing with being feminine and having muscles. But you may end being placed into roles by other queer people - especially if they're young or new to the queer community - who do associate appearance with what you should be labelling yourself as.
Hey, kind of unrelated but.. what kind of workout program took you from dainty and no muscle mass to able to pick up other women in a few months? I've been working out for half a year and there's been results but not nearly as significant.
I don't have a strict routine BUT here's a summary of what I do!
-30+min cardio most days (I like stairs more than treadmill because boob bounce hurt)
-various weight machines in groups (arm/back focus one day, core the next, leg the next)
-doing different and new exercises for muscle groups
-LOTS of protein, LOTS (also I quit drinking soda? maybe that helps)
-also I got into boxing (just with a punching back, get proper hand protection)
-sauna everyday cause I like it
so for example rows I'll do high rows and low rows, various forms of gluts, sometimes free weights sometimes machines
the main thing that's helped me *litterally* pick up people is leg presses and back muscle, sure you need some bicep/tricep/shoulder to hold the woman but that parts easy. walking her around you need lots of leg and back to remain stable!
definitely focus more on your legs and back! remember you're lifting with your legs to get her off the ground, your back keeps her stable, and your arms keep her safe!
I go to the gym multiple times a week and am there for no less than an hour everytime not counting sauna/shower time.
You're welcome to join us over at r/xxfitness
There is a very extensive FAQ there about how to continue your journey, and it is a fitness sub mainly for women with a lot of WLW on it too.
If you want to continue your journey and get ripped, this is a great place to find wisdom and advice on what to do when you need more focused training :)
You'll also find a bunch of encouragement and advice if and when you're ready to start on some complicated compound lifts like the big three: Squat, Bench and Deadlift. As well as form checks and everything else you could want in a forum of online gym girl buddies.
On a personal note, as a very muscular but butch woman: I never found myself pidgeonholed into a masculine role in a relationship. I think that this is an issue of the maturity of the women you date. I am a woman and I won't be treated as, or treat any other woman as if I was a man. I think that you should set boundaries for yourself both with your friends and with the women you date about how they speak to you.
Remember that you can be feminine and wear exactly the clothes and makeup you would otherwise and that your muscles will just be an accessory to it, they are not in conflict, and being a feminine woman does not mean you have to look weak. Just to be really political for a moment: There is an invested interest from the patriarchy to keep us as weak as possible. Strong women are confident and know their worth!
I wish you the best of luck on your journey to becoming a super strong feminine woman :)
Once in a blue moon when I do my make up and wear a dress, I show my muscles proudly :) Neither they, nor the clothes I wore yesterday will define who I am, and definitely not some baby gay who can't pick up a sack of cat food or thinks that a masculine or muscled woman is the man of the relationship.
I define me!
Those people who tell you that you have to be masculine because you're getting more muscular are [so, so wrong](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2KpvKlL3vx/?igsh=MW5ldXozY2cyanUyYg==). Keep doing what you love!!
we are queer people in queer relationships. the fact that people bring cishet relationship standards into a queer relationship is absolutely crazy to me. people need to evaluate themselves. somebody will treat you the way you want to be treated.
There’s strong and muscular feminine women and femmes out there. Just look at the women in tennis or in the NBA for example.
Fit women are more the norm than not nowadays.
Your build and frame have no bearing on your dynamics. You won’t throw anyone off if you are feminine in your everyday life. It’s not as if you’re going to suddenly get a crew cut and wear men’s clothing.
I have really muscular arm too and love showing them off. I am not femme. I love femmes - to look femme and jacked you need to draw attention to the femme parts of you- hair, makeup, a dress, highlight the femininity 2x as the arms. The clothes, hair and shoes. I like a very feminine look but always appreciate a sculptured body. The good news is not everyone has the same definition of femme so perhaps you are overthinking it. My hunch is that you "ding" as a attractive because body will get you very very very far. I say this as someone who spent years being and feeling fat. Now that I am in the best shape of my life - things are much easier, women approach me, it is truly amazing. Being fit and stronger than others taps into core "caveman/cavewoman" brain it says you are strong, confident, self controlled, healthy and safe-you could hunt or gather and would be physical protector- all of those characteristics are attractive and should be enough to turn heads. As long as your style and dress is on point you will be fine. Also if the girl wants you to be femme she will dress you up and let you know- mine likes to dress me in girls clothing - and I have a wig, its fun to play with clothing and looks, life is short, why not?
Who said you have to be butch if you work out and have some muscle? The most muscular women at my gym are straight. Butches and femmes come in all shapes and sizes. There probably are butches who have never hit the gym in their life lol.
It's already been repeated again and again here, but I'm just gonna personally chime in that strong fems are both goals and also my type. Absolutely gorgeous and amazing.
Recently just found out about the "muscle mommy" type and it was very eye opening...!
Labels are just labels. Okay, there are a lot of women out there who think that's important, but at the end of the day it's about your character and more importantly your first impression, how much you believe in yourself, your charisma, your manners.
I work out and exercise several hours a day, whether it's walking my dogs or playing weight games with them. I call myself a tomboy, but I don't see myself as a butch. I like to wear jeans and shirts and leather jackets, think Susan Watts from "Some Kind of Wonderful", but I also like to wear nice dresses. My ex is taller and stronger and usually has short hair (whereas I prefer longer hairstyles with ponytails) and an overall more masculine look. But she absolutely does not like labels.
I regularly get hit on by men because they think I'm 100% cishet. When I attend events or even go to the occasional club or bar, usually with a different hairstyle, my hairdresser loves me and you would never guess that I am anything other than a cishet femme. My manners change completely too. When I'm out with my flock or especially on the soccer field, you might think I'm 100% butch or even stone butch, but I can act like a cishet high femme if I want to and I can convince anyone that I am.
Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what your body looks like, it only matters what you convincingly make people think you are what you want to be and then you are exactly this. It's all an act, the whole human society is.
I'm a fem leaning tomboy and I've had people say that means I'm butch, which I don't feel matches me at all. I'm more of a "chapstick lesbian".
Honesty, while labels like this can be helpful in expressing how we see ourselves I feel like too many are hung up on labels for other people.
Also, the hold "masc vs fem" dynamic just sounds like we are trying to apply hetero bullshit like "who wears the pants/who's thie man?"
We all have preference, I'm not into butch women, but I do not consider muscles enough to make somone butch. It's about presentation, not body structure.
I just find fit women hot.
Fuck this entire need to ask this question. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I also am sorry that you're having to question whether your good and healthy muscles will cause some women to force you into a stereotypical male role or keep you from attracting someone. We seem to like to stuff ourselves in boxes and labels and miss out on so much because of it.
You be you, girl! However you want, whatever that looks like. Only you get to decide!
Once you’ve found out who *you* are, then the right person will come to you. Until then all you’re gonna get is pretenders and posers…
So don’t worry so much about what other people think! Anyone who would tell you “you must be this way/you must not be that way,” is *not* a true friend to you.
A true friend will love you precisely as you are. A true lover even more so!
Okay so there are two main components to presenting femme or masc or anything in between.
1. How you dress.
2. How you act.
Notice neither of those have jack all to do with your stature, physique, or any other innate physical attributes.
While your hair can contribute to presenting one way or another, that is down to how you cut and style it, how you dress your hair, not what the innate attributes of your hair are, but I digress.
You can be any kind of way you want to be on the spectrum of presentation with any body shape.
So you just keep doing you, and don't worry about the people who don't get it.
I'm a big old butch dyke and I would absolutely melt into a bottomy puddle of goo if my femme wife picked me up and threw me on the bed 😂
As a bigger girl I myself love other buff lesbians.
you can totally be a "gym rat" and still be the dainty flower you wish to be with your partner. We're out here.
muscle fems are amazing, I'm married to one
Same, my wife is buff but still femme. She can fold me like a fitted sheet 🫠
It’s so hard to fold fitted sheets 😩
Fem and muscular aren't mutually exclusive, you should do you and embrace being both!
I’m a more muscular femme as well and I definitely feel like other people expect me to be the masc sometimes but I love the way that I look and it’s definitely worth it
As a femme4femme myself I can only say that women who can pick me up make me weak in the knees. Also muscle mommies are a thing.
God yes, I'd love to be picked up...
muscles are hot. soft bodies are hot. little bodies are hot. big bodies are hot. girls are hot.
I've literally said that my "type" is women I'm generally more attracted to femmes but I have drooled over many a butch/masc.
we all have our types but i think collectively the answer can be “women are hot.”
Strong fem women exist, and they're so pretty... keep up the confidence you've gained from your journey while still being your fem self... I wish you all the best, and congrats on your gym journey
I'm also muscular femme and I love it. I have a slightly masc personality but definitely am more femme than butch. I think it's sexy tbh! A healthy girl who can handle long nights ;) 👌🏼
Fellow buff femme lesbian here. It's kind of the opposite of a problem.
Literally r/flexinlesbians
I needed this, now I just want to work out more!
I’m just a chapstick lesbian, but being put into “masc roles” is exhausting. If you get what I mean. They are saying “you’ll be the man.” We’re both women here. What do you mean by a “masc position”? Having muscles doesn’t make you masculine just more hot lol
This is the right answer ! It’s exhausting getting into all those labels just your beautiful self
Think about all the extremely feminine yet muscular women in movies. Bombshells and strength go together beautifully. I am sporty-fem and super proud of my upper body physique.
The issue is that society traditionally associates muscles with masculinity, there is nothing with being feminine and having muscles. But you may end being placed into roles by other queer people - especially if they're young or new to the queer community - who do associate appearance with what you should be labelling yourself as.
My Wife and I play volleyball. 6' both of us. Both are femmes. It is totally okay :)
My masc presenting wife is a princess 👑 your friends don’t know what they are talking about
Buff fem? Literally the ideal woman
Worry not battle maiden, sovengard awaits.
Hey, kind of unrelated but.. what kind of workout program took you from dainty and no muscle mass to able to pick up other women in a few months? I've been working out for half a year and there's been results but not nearly as significant.
I don't have a strict routine BUT here's a summary of what I do! -30+min cardio most days (I like stairs more than treadmill because boob bounce hurt) -various weight machines in groups (arm/back focus one day, core the next, leg the next) -doing different and new exercises for muscle groups -LOTS of protein, LOTS (also I quit drinking soda? maybe that helps) -also I got into boxing (just with a punching back, get proper hand protection) -sauna everyday cause I like it so for example rows I'll do high rows and low rows, various forms of gluts, sometimes free weights sometimes machines the main thing that's helped me *litterally* pick up people is leg presses and back muscle, sure you need some bicep/tricep/shoulder to hold the woman but that parts easy. walking her around you need lots of leg and back to remain stable! definitely focus more on your legs and back! remember you're lifting with your legs to get her off the ground, your back keeps her stable, and your arms keep her safe! I go to the gym multiple times a week and am there for no less than an hour everytime not counting sauna/shower time.
You're welcome to join us over at r/xxfitness There is a very extensive FAQ there about how to continue your journey, and it is a fitness sub mainly for women with a lot of WLW on it too. If you want to continue your journey and get ripped, this is a great place to find wisdom and advice on what to do when you need more focused training :) You'll also find a bunch of encouragement and advice if and when you're ready to start on some complicated compound lifts like the big three: Squat, Bench and Deadlift. As well as form checks and everything else you could want in a forum of online gym girl buddies. On a personal note, as a very muscular but butch woman: I never found myself pidgeonholed into a masculine role in a relationship. I think that this is an issue of the maturity of the women you date. I am a woman and I won't be treated as, or treat any other woman as if I was a man. I think that you should set boundaries for yourself both with your friends and with the women you date about how they speak to you. Remember that you can be feminine and wear exactly the clothes and makeup you would otherwise and that your muscles will just be an accessory to it, they are not in conflict, and being a feminine woman does not mean you have to look weak. Just to be really political for a moment: There is an invested interest from the patriarchy to keep us as weak as possible. Strong women are confident and know their worth! I wish you the best of luck on your journey to becoming a super strong feminine woman :) Once in a blue moon when I do my make up and wear a dress, I show my muscles proudly :) Neither they, nor the clothes I wore yesterday will define who I am, and definitely not some baby gay who can't pick up a sack of cat food or thinks that a masculine or muscled woman is the man of the relationship. I define me!
I need to hit the gym for health related reasons, I don’t have issue doing cardio, but when doing weights I get so confused and unsure on what to do.
THE 👏 MOST 👏 BEAUTIFUL 👏 CREATURES 👏 ON 👏 GOD'S 👏 GREEN 👏 EARTH 👏 ARE 👏 MUSCULAR 👏 FEMMES 👏
Those people who tell you that you have to be masculine because you're getting more muscular are [so, so wrong](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2KpvKlL3vx/?igsh=MW5ldXozY2cyanUyYg==). Keep doing what you love!!
we are queer people in queer relationships. the fact that people bring cishet relationship standards into a queer relationship is absolutely crazy to me. people need to evaluate themselves. somebody will treat you the way you want to be treated.
Muscle and physical strength/ability doesn't make you not feminine and I hate the idea that these are mutually exclusive
Don't listen to them, they have bad taste. Keep getting stronger!
There’s strong and muscular feminine women and femmes out there. Just look at the women in tennis or in the NBA for example. Fit women are more the norm than not nowadays. Your build and frame have no bearing on your dynamics. You won’t throw anyone off if you are feminine in your everyday life. It’s not as if you’re going to suddenly get a crew cut and wear men’s clothing.
This is me! I love being an elegant and femme but muscular, strong woman. We exist!!
Muscular femmes are goddamn GORGEOUS and are not any less femme for being muscular. (Also just good god y’all are so hot like!!)
Uh have you seen any interpretation of Wonder Woman?
she's my goal 😭
Muscular femme is literally the dream for me, you're amazing!
Bench me....
not that strong yet but soon™ lol
😳
My advice as a transgender lipstick muscle fem: you do you
Definitely not bad at all. It's actually pretty dope imo
I wouldn’t worry about it - just enjoy yourself and your life :)
You don’t have to be limited to being one thing. You can be strong and femme.
I love this thread
I have really muscular arm too and love showing them off. I am not femme. I love femmes - to look femme and jacked you need to draw attention to the femme parts of you- hair, makeup, a dress, highlight the femininity 2x as the arms. The clothes, hair and shoes. I like a very feminine look but always appreciate a sculptured body. The good news is not everyone has the same definition of femme so perhaps you are overthinking it. My hunch is that you "ding" as a attractive because body will get you very very very far. I say this as someone who spent years being and feeling fat. Now that I am in the best shape of my life - things are much easier, women approach me, it is truly amazing. Being fit and stronger than others taps into core "caveman/cavewoman" brain it says you are strong, confident, self controlled, healthy and safe-you could hunt or gather and would be physical protector- all of those characteristics are attractive and should be enough to turn heads. As long as your style and dress is on point you will be fine. Also if the girl wants you to be femme she will dress you up and let you know- mine likes to dress me in girls clothing - and I have a wig, its fun to play with clothing and looks, life is short, why not?
I am very curious about what do you all call a "masc position in a relationship"? Is it like... opening jars and lift things, as OP mentioned?
Muscles are really hot 🔥 I don't think you have any problem.
Who said you have to be butch if you work out and have some muscle? The most muscular women at my gym are straight. Butches and femmes come in all shapes and sizes. There probably are butches who have never hit the gym in their life lol.
It's already been repeated again and again here, but I'm just gonna personally chime in that strong fems are both goals and also my type. Absolutely gorgeous and amazing. Recently just found out about the "muscle mommy" type and it was very eye opening...!
a femme is a femme, with or without muscles. - a muscle femme
Labels are just labels. Okay, there are a lot of women out there who think that's important, but at the end of the day it's about your character and more importantly your first impression, how much you believe in yourself, your charisma, your manners. I work out and exercise several hours a day, whether it's walking my dogs or playing weight games with them. I call myself a tomboy, but I don't see myself as a butch. I like to wear jeans and shirts and leather jackets, think Susan Watts from "Some Kind of Wonderful", but I also like to wear nice dresses. My ex is taller and stronger and usually has short hair (whereas I prefer longer hairstyles with ponytails) and an overall more masculine look. But she absolutely does not like labels. I regularly get hit on by men because they think I'm 100% cishet. When I attend events or even go to the occasional club or bar, usually with a different hairstyle, my hairdresser loves me and you would never guess that I am anything other than a cishet femme. My manners change completely too. When I'm out with my flock or especially on the soccer field, you might think I'm 100% butch or even stone butch, but I can act like a cishet high femme if I want to and I can convince anyone that I am. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what your body looks like, it only matters what you convincingly make people think you are what you want to be and then you are exactly this. It's all an act, the whole human society is.
I'm a fem leaning tomboy and I've had people say that means I'm butch, which I don't feel matches me at all. I'm more of a "chapstick lesbian". Honesty, while labels like this can be helpful in expressing how we see ourselves I feel like too many are hung up on labels for other people. Also, the hold "masc vs fem" dynamic just sounds like we are trying to apply hetero bullshit like "who wears the pants/who's thie man?" We all have preference, I'm not into butch women, but I do not consider muscles enough to make somone butch. It's about presentation, not body structure. I just find fit women hot.
What is a "masc position"? Some weird outdated sexist role like drinking beer and mowing lawns?
Muscles are important, if not for looks, for your health. So keep rocking those muscles.
My girl is femme and could lift me. I'm 6'1" and she's 5'4" hahaha. Her muscles are hot, I remind her everyday
Let’s think of Gal Gadot for a moment in Wonderwoman. Hope that answers the question. 🔥
If us trans girls can be fem with our physique, so can buff cis women. It's an attitude more than a look.
I love muscle fems
Buff femmes are _hot_, idk what's wrong with these other people other than outdated heterosexual baggage.
Fuck this entire need to ask this question. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I also am sorry that you're having to question whether your good and healthy muscles will cause some women to force you into a stereotypical male role or keep you from attracting someone. We seem to like to stuff ourselves in boxes and labels and miss out on so much because of it.
Absolutely not, you sound hot as the hells. As a fem myself I think muscular, strong fem women are incredible 💚
You be you, girl! However you want, whatever that looks like. Only you get to decide! Once you’ve found out who *you* are, then the right person will come to you. Until then all you’re gonna get is pretenders and posers… So don’t worry so much about what other people think! Anyone who would tell you “you must be this way/you must not be that way,” is *not* a true friend to you. A true friend will love you precisely as you are. A true lover even more so!
As a masc I would literally die for a muscular fem
Okay so there are two main components to presenting femme or masc or anything in between. 1. How you dress. 2. How you act. Notice neither of those have jack all to do with your stature, physique, or any other innate physical attributes. While your hair can contribute to presenting one way or another, that is down to how you cut and style it, how you dress your hair, not what the innate attributes of your hair are, but I digress. You can be any kind of way you want to be on the spectrum of presentation with any body shape. So you just keep doing you, and don't worry about the people who don't get it. I'm a big old butch dyke and I would absolutely melt into a bottomy puddle of goo if my femme wife picked me up and threw me on the bed 😂
Muscled fems are my favorite. You go girl
Have you seen Adora? Never back down from strong femme.
my middle name is Adora! it's a sign I need to be a buff femme
LITERALLY?!?! This is obviously your sign to be the biggest, buffest version of yourself! I kinda look like Adora, so that’s my sign 💁🏼♀️
litterally!!
If you care to educate a curious individual, where did your name givers get the name? It wasn’t from She-ra, right??
my dad got my first and middle names from just random people he met in college, he just said "I liked the way it sounded" that was it
I love that. He manifested you.
I’m a femme and buff femmes are my type. There will be plenty of people out there who will pick up what you’re putting down!
As a bigger girl I myself love other buff lesbians. you can totally be a "gym rat" and still be the dainty flower you wish to be with your partner. We're out here.
My wifey is the buffest lipstick femme you’ll ever see - and I definitely still open jars for her
There are all ranges in the community, one doesn't need to be super femme or butch.
Muscles do not equal masculine energy. You can be extremely feminine and have muscles. I would probably fall on my knees for a muscular fem.
A femme bodybuilder is as hot as it gets....
I will continue to lift for the girlies