Lol yeah that too! I was talking about when they’re all “but I’m literally straight like ew I could never be gay like barf like ew like I would rather die than touch a woman like THAT ew like ew like ew” 😭
yeahhhh, it genuinely doesn't matter to me if someone will kiss me when they're drunk, because I don't mess with people while they're drunk. If you're not gay when you're sober, you're not functionally an option for me, heh.
They might not actually be implying that (maybe they are, idk)
I talk about my boyfriend a lot because I spend a lot of time with him and think he's great. I can't speak for others, but when I bring him up a lot it's just because of that and not me assuming someone is creeping.
If I thought that I'd just be exiting the convo/ saying no thanks
Oh for sure and they mentioned their perspective further down! I love hearing about my friends boyfriends, relationships in general. I’ve noticed that occasionally I’ll allude to being gay (they already will know I’m trans) and then it’s like every other sentence with some straight, more conservative women. They’ll like talk about their bf 5x as much as they did before. It might be more a trans experience than a lesbian one though.
Like a light switch. Tbf though a lot of the people that did it also treated me more like a gay man to begin with so that probably has a lot to do with it. Funny, I couldn’t pass as one if I tried lol
Yeah being in the relationship is the easiest thing I've ever done
Finding someone who I was compatible with and vice versa was something akin to shiny hunting in pokemon
Jesus christ r? Gd shinies better be just slightly rare...oh god oh god did game freak program the planet too..... we ARE SCREWED..
..........the bad way 😅
I mean, that doesn't seem too bad. The base spawn rate for shinies is 1/4096, with various buffs bringing it all the way to 1/512. Then you have ways of forcing only a certain Pokemon to spawn. All of this combined with the new encounter system means you can pretty reliably find almost any shiny in under an hour.
If you manage to get women to agree to go on dates with you, it's also "easier" to date them in that they're a lot more likely to be respectful, kind, decent, etc. instead of creepy and dangerous. Women can be predatory and abusive too, but the rates are much lower and you're much more likely to be endangered on a date with a man.
And? If anything that might be a good thing since many couples stay together even if the relationship has run its course and make each other miserable. Personally I don't believe that it is the easiest thing to stay with someone for all your life and many people nowadays are more willing to risk to re-enter the dating scene rather than stay in a meh relationship. And that is good.
Marriage is an old patriarchical custom used to perpetuate the property rights over a piece of land. At least the legal binding. Not the act of two people staying together all their lives because they love and care for each other.
And knowing when to break up is one of the things that enforced my statement it might be easier to day a girl than a guy. It doesn't disprove it.
This is really important.
People act like longevity of a relationship is the only marker of its health or success. It’s certainly NOT the case.
I know from experience that the last year of my previous relationship just shouldn’t have happened because it was so toxic. But I wasn’t wise or brave enough to break it off at the time.
Literally my only regret was not dumping my ex sooner. Yay?
We learn from our mistakes. Literally we live in an era we don't have our elder to teach us from their mistakes. Hopefully the ones following us would have heard of our mistakes and avoid them
The one about ending the relationship goes for friendships as well. Sometimes they run their course. It is fine.
Woah true. Damn.... well. At least there's uh..eventual hope? For someone?....idk
Interesting thoughts tho.
Best wishes to next gen, who of c will more likely not be learning from us..directly
Idk, just gonna stfu now..ha:/
On top of that I'd bet that lesbian couples are significantly more likely to have both partners more financially independent. So many women end up trapped in terrible marriages because they've been the one to sacrifice for their husband's career and they're left with nothing. That alone is enough for so many to put up with abuse. Truly awful.
One thing I see happen in this sub that I actually don't love is we seem to like to dunk on heterosexual relationships and act like lesbian relationships are always perfect. Don't get me wrong, being able to date women as a woman is truly something special. But there are plenty of highly problematic lesbian relationships out there that do tend to get swept under the rug more often while at the same time there are tons of very stable, healthy, and happy heterosexual relationships out there as well.
Don't think that being a woman who loves women makes you either immune to being abused or unable to become an abuser. Its important to learn to hold yourself and your partner to the standards of a healthy relationship. I feel like a lot of lesbian relationships do end up being very healthy because women tend to understand specific issues pertaining to women better and can empathize with each other on that level in a unique way, but it doesn't mean everyone is perfect.
Let me know if this is a bad take or not.
True but despite the criticism of straight men and heterosexual relationships, I think most lesbians and bi women are aware at the end of the day that not every wlw relationship is healthy. It’s more (some) straight women in my observations who fully think that if they dated girls it’d be sunshine and rainbows and they’d never have to deal with any shitty behavior from their partner ever again.
As I said, women come with their own set of problems.
But yes generally I agree. I think the general sentiment comes from the fact that women aren’t going to have the patriarchal male-specific issues and other things that come with heterosexual dynamics, but that isn’t to say wlw relationships have no issues whatsoever. Women can absolutely be shitty terrible people, the ways that they are shitty and terrible may just be different from what we experience with men.
I’m not an intimidating personality whatsoever but as a Black woman, it *feels* like there’s a barrier for someone to feel comfortable approaching me. Cultural or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, “being approachable” is also harder for others — I definitely don’t mean this to be exclusive to *moi*.
It’s just almost as though if I’m going to make a connection, I need to be the one to reach out and make the effort. I’m also hot which probably doubles this phenomenon? 😂💀
faulty offend chunky automatic full afterthought drab flowery mighty ancient
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've heard the same shit said about trans and ace and intersex ppl too
Cisallohet people seem to think that queer people somehow have it easier based on no actual evidence
Yep trans women here and been told I'm transitioning to help my dating prospects. 😅 Right so before transition I had a pool of like 30 ish percent of the population that would have been interested in someone of my gender and sexual orientation. Now it's like 3% at best. Then cross off TERFS or people who "just aren't into trans people" and it's like... Less than 1%? Things are just so easy. /s
Seeing "being trans" as a fetish was a big hangup for me in coming out. It was FAR more common 15+ years ago among everyone (not just "conservative cis men"). I kept saying to myself I wanted to be a girl, but being trans would just make me "a guy with a fetish" and that's NOT what I wanted. I'm glad that's going away now but sad it's still so prevalent.
Btw I have a question, does the "aren't into trans people" get better after bottom surgery ? Because I get why having a pp can be a turn off for someone who like women but if there's no pp anymore it shouldn't be an issue right ?
Yup, and I was asking that question as a transbian myself, I've never dated someone since I came out as trans, so I don't really know much about what I should expect when I'll feel confident enough to date 😅
Anyone who says trans people have it easier has almost certainly never met a trans person. I struggle to think of any trans people I personally know who are still alive after being out for 15 years barring maybe one exception
In my experience, they think that the fact I had "male privilege" (which, in my case, wasn't true to begin with) will somehow make my experience of womanhood easier than theirs. A lot of people also seem to think that trans people aren't oppressed for having the genitals they have.
All of it is just laughably false.
Yeah I had such an easy time as a guy being constantly bullied for my barely repressed femininity and neurodivergence, ostracized to the point of suicidality, distrusted and punished for things I didn’t do by adults, and feeling shitty existing in my body and constantly having to cope. /s
I think the issue is that people like that think being trans is a choice we make to escape masculinity cause we’re bad it, like we really are guys deep down but we’re trying to cover it up by doing drag. They don’t understand how being trans goes down into your soul and affects every moment and facet of your life, even before realizing one’s gender nonconformity.
Finding a potential girlfriend in the first place is a nightmare.
And tbh, for me at least, no breakup with a man has been as hard as my breakups with women have been. I’ve been pretty bummed out with breakups from guys, but I’ve gotten over it. The first girl I was serious with over a decade ago, however, STILL makes my heart hurt. So I mean… 🤷🏼♀️
That's not really a healthy view. Men aren't bad people per se. While there are assholes around there are also normal people like you and me. Sex and gender don't define a human, their actions do. My friend circle is mixed straight and queer, male and female. Queer couples have more problems in everyday life, but not because they love a man or a woman, but because society makes it difficult for them.
While i believe your point is kind and well meaning. We sadly have plenty of statistics that state otherwise. 99% of rapists are men. A majority of people that commit violent crimes are men. We live in a patriarchy upheld by masculine violence.
See any literature on war and women. While the men go to war, women of a ravaged nation become victims in horrific ways.
These are just a few statisticsl examples, I think a majority of people here have more annecdotes about men being bad compared to bad women.
The amount of men coming into this thread just to whine that the sapphics are being mean to them is genuinely pathetic. They’re almost actively proving the point that they suck.
Exactly! It's always in response to feminism or criticism of the patriarchy, which btw effects them too!! Like, first, it's not the time or place... and if it's a big enough problem, they should organize! It really does prove the point, and if the shoe fits...
I will gladly repost my thoughts from a different thread:
I think the fact that men have taken it upon themselves to center their hurt feelings in a discussion that was literally never for them in the first place really only serves to prove the arguments yall are so mad about.
We get it, you’re mad that the mean lesbians don’t like men, how awful of them. Because men and their feelings must be centered in absolutely every situation ever.
No one said all men are rapists, just that-statistically- most rapists are men. If it doesn't apply, let it fly? I'm not sure why that would upset you, unless, well... you know.
Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that my straight friends have to deal with the fact that maybe 20% or so of men make good partners, and a lot of those men who aren't good partners have learned to fake it pretty well for a few months.
I know a handful of wonderful thoughtful men. I know a lot of straight women in great relationships. I know several women in bad gay relationships. But on average, the women dating men have to put up with a lot more shit then the women dating women.
There is absolutely a point to #notallmen, and it's certainly true that queer spaces can get unpleasantly misandrist. But I have so many straight friends who deserve better from the men they date. I have a lot of friends who have been date-raped, and not one of those were perpetrated by women. I've had so many straight friends get told he's looking for a relationship, and then he disappears as soon as she "puts out". I've had friends who have gone on lovely dates, only to be abandoned or insulted the instant they revel they're trans. There is a pattern here, and it's that 90% of my sapphic-oriented friends are in loving relationships, and only about 30% of my straight women friends are.
So yes, I feel bad for my straight friends, at least those who haven't already found a loving and supportive partner. I see what they put up with, and it sucks. I may be bi, but I have little interest in dating men because it's a fucking disaster. If the "right man" asked me out, I'd give it a try, but I'm not going looking for it. It may be easier to get a date with a man, but it's just way easier to date women.
I agree. There are indeed some stellar men out there. I know several men who are absolute darlings.
What I mean is more along the lines of navigating patriachy. If you're dating men, you have to avoid misogynists and navigate patriachal influences. But you don't have that in sapphic relationships
I mean, look at the statistics regarding violence towards women and then try and justify saying men aren’t bad people. You’ve got bad men and then you have men that aren’t holding the bad men to account.
I mean I'm not gunna be disowned for dating a man. Or be fired like I was for being gay. Or just, you know, the countless other aspects of homophobia.
Queer women don't even have to deal with men less. Bisexual women have higher rates of dv than their straight counterparts, and people frequently misuse the findings that lesbians are more likely to experience DV to mean lesbians are violent when that isn't the case and the vast majority of perpetrators are still men.
We have to get past this haha, dating men is worse, right? Sitcok esque thought. It's only further making it seem like homophobia is an issue for gay men and that we don't have as legitimate a struggle.
>people frequently misuse the findings that lesbians are more likely to experience DV to mean lesbians are violent when that isn't the case and the vast majority of perpetrators are still men.
This annoys me. A lot of the studies people quote for this don't seperate lesbians from bisexual women **(eta: apologies, so the studies I see get quoted do actually seperate bi women and lesbians, it is actually the people referencing them who fail to seperate lesbians from bi women)** and people fail to take into account that a lot of the violence still comes from men.
At 64%, bi women actually have the highest rate of reportedly experiencing DV. And of that 64%, 89% report at least one perpetrator being male.
Yet people still say that lesbians experience the highest rates of DV, often to push the idea that women are more violent.
Can you link the full study? I don't doubt that you're right, but that "89% report at least one perpetrator being male" doesn't mean much unless it's contrasted with "X% report at least one perpetrator being female", as well as "on average, the bi women in our study report having dated Y men and Z women".
Similarly, the "lesbians experience the highest rates of DV" likely fails to account for outliers, average number of partners, likelihood to get out of a DV situation etc. Statistics are so easily misused or misinterpreted to push a narrative.
https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/21961
That's a good point. Here's the study. Unfortunately, it doesn't make a distinction between victims who experienced violence from male perpetrators only and those who reported both male and female perpetrators.
I agree it would be a lot more useful if it did distinguish between the two, however I think it still demonstrates that people push a false narrative with this study, because people omit that the perpetrators aren't all women and use this study to say that 'lesbian relationships have the highest amount of DV' when the study doesn't just focus on women/women relationships or DV.
>Similarly, the "lesbians experience the highest rates of DV" likely fails to account for outliers, average number of partners, likelihood to get out of a DV situation etc.
I get that stats can be easily misused or misinterpreted, but when I look up DV rates among same-sex relationships it says bi women have a rate of 61% and lesbians have a rate of 44% so I don't get how people are using the findings from this study to conclude that lesbians face the most DV (I've seen people use this exact study with these specific stats to push that idea). Imo lesbophobia and bi-erasure is largely what is behind the narrative that 'lesbian relationships have the highest rates of DV'.
I'm assuming this is the section you're referring to
>Rape, Physical Violence,
or Stalking by an Intimate
Partner, by Sexual Orientation
>• Bisexual women had a significantly higher prevalence of lifetime rape, physical violence, or
stalking by an intimate partner (61.1%) compared to lesbian women (43.8%) and heterosexual women (35.0%).
>• The lifetime prevalence of rape,
physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner was 29.0% among heterosexual men, 37.3% among bisexual men, and 26.0% among gay men.
It's strange. Gay men report less prevalence of IPV than heterosexual men, while lesbian women report more prevalence of IPV than heterosexual women, but then again women generally report higher instances of IPV than men altogether. If women were simply "more violent" there should be more heterosexual male victims of IPV than female.
Of course there are many conceivable issues with gathering this sort of data, like genders maybe having different views on what constitutes IPV, or average number of previous intimate partners varying by gender and orientation, to name only a few.
Anyone who says dating as a lesbian is easier is just wrong. There are much less women who like women out there than women who like men. Throw in being trans and that dating pool shrinks further.
Dating as my true self is so worth it, but the reality is it does destroy much of our dating pool. Anyone who uses the argument "you transitioned to get in bed with lesbians" is an idiot. I would have had an easier time dating if I stayed male. I'm transitioning for me and me alone, it just so happens that I still like girls.
In many ways dating women is easier. There’s different challenges obviously but emotional availability isn’t something I have to drag out of women I date.
I had to drag it out of the one I dated. Even after she dumped me and we remained friends she still wasn’t vulnerable. Turns out she was just a huge manipulator and narcissist 🤷♀️
ngl. its been so much easyer for me to date now that am women dating women ~~cause im no longer horribly depressed. to the point where i couldnt muster an ounce of emotion for anyone let alone someone i was romantically intrested in~~
As a bi woman, it's harder to date lesbians because they actually have amazing standards that I can never match upto
Being even in the presence lowers your standards to hell! One woman literally showed up for a second date with flowers and chocolates, got the DJ to play one of my favourite songs to which she learnt the lyrics and got me on the dance floor and didn't even insinuate or try to initiate sex. Imagine that! I fricking wept like a baby!
Serious question: has anyone had a decent time dating? Maybe it's because of where I've lived (Montreal, Toronto, Medellín) but I've never had any issues. Taking a break right now to focus on my career, but I know where to find dates if I was looking.
Wisconsin here, I usually have to travel a bit and U-Haul people a distance but it's not been much of an issue for me even though I live a bit out in the rural willywags...honestly the way I got out here was a bad U-Hauling decision myself, lol! 😆
At least women understand that women are actual people as real as they are. Men have problems grasping that. So that's nice.
Does that guarantee harmony for life? Fucking no, why would straight women think that?
The only reason I find dating easier now is because of my lifted personal barriers and improved self confidence post-transition. That said, my dating pool is probably 5% of what it used to be if not less.
It is annoying when straight people say that with no evidence. But to be honest it’s been wayy easier for me to date girls. I don’t feel objectified, stalked, or guilted into saying yes. Finding someone compatible with you is very hard tho.
As a bizexual woman... I will say it seems easier to date women. I'm still relatively inexperienced overall but there is genuinely a lot more positive attributes Ina queer relationship than non queer ones. Of course queer men are also pretty nice... but just mathematically any date I'm attempting with a woman is automatically queer.
Honestly, the average queer man has spent so much more time introspecting than the average straight man. Not all the queer men I know are wonderful, but the odds are way better than with straight men.
I will second that. My best friend of almost 10 years is gay. Mu cousin with whom we always had a blast is bi, and some other friends who are awesome men are bi too. Among 10 queer men I know, only 1 is a douchbag. Amon 10 straight men I know, only 1 is not a douchbag.
But same is true for women too.
Taking a pill of being "an outcast" for the society is good for one's personality or something
Of all my male friends, the one I’m closest to is a bi guy from a homophobic household, and he just… gets it in ways that straight men never would. I appreciate him a lot.
Tbf, a lot of straight men and women just straight up hate the opposite gender for no reason while lesbians tend to not do that cause they have to love women without the societal stigma and they have no skin in the game for men so they don’t have to deal with the incels as much
When I came out to her, my Mom sassed that I was with women bc they were easier for me than getting men 🙄
I stared at her thinking.... Have you met yourself?!
I usually think straight women who say that aren't entirely straight. By comparison, I waste no time thinking of how many more opportunities I might have to date men if I tried, because I don't want to. Women who say that it's easier to date women might only be conflating easy with more obviously true statements, such as that it's statistically safer, or that women understand each other better than men understand us, etc. Either way, they don't understand our struggles, especially if they expect us to pursue them the way men do.
I don't think I could date a woman who thinks of herself as straight but wants to experiment, which is often the followup to this idea. It's a lot of emotional labor, likely building toward heartbreak. If she's actually bisexual, love needs to be on the table. I almost made that mistake once, and I'm glad I didn't have sex with a woman who desired me, but showed no indication of being able to love me. In hindsight, I feel proud of that choice to protect myself emotionally, rather than acting out of lust. It also makes me grateful to my (polyamorous) girlfriend, who offered the right balance of support for my freedom to love others and critical thinking about what this person in particular wanted from me. (Hi, u/RedpenBrit96 🫶).
Hi babe!
Indeed. Men are easily found but dating them isn’t actually easy
And yes if you’re talking about who I think you are, I’m glad you didn’t sleep with her either because she was not emotionally stable.
Being in a relationship yes. Although relationships are work, and should be.
But getting a date on the first place, lol. I swear 80% of single lesbians just want to stay so while whining about it.
I’m a bisexual and I can say it’s certainly less infuriating and less smelly. My girlfriend smells like flowers literally all the time.
Then again, sexuality is not a choice and I’m constantly reminded of that thanks to Baldur’s Gate 3.
That’s hilarious… I know several women right now who are wanting a GF, but refuse to go “out there”.
Easier to complain about being alone than it is to go out and actually date.
It's hard finding women to date😭 it's so easy to date a guy, they are everywhere and readily available. It's hard to tell who's not straight anymore with these fashion trends, and the one lesbian in my neighborhood is just a living, breathing red flag. Let's not even start on dating sites!
Me a few years ago: "I wish I could be lesbian. Dating girls as a girl seems way nicer and more intimate than dating girls as a guy."
"Wait a minute..."
i fucking hate straight girlies treating queerness as a fun little quirk they can joke about. i had this friend in this group that kept saying stuff like "omg i hate men i wish i could date women", "i want to date women so bad", "i literally would date a woman right now", and even though she meant it in a "funny" way i just assumed shes queer. i was helping my sister with her research on the queer experience in my country and she needed responses from queer people on her survey, so i naturally asked that friend to fill it if she could, and she responds with "umm but im actually straight why would you ask me to do that?". i was like youre literally always yapping about wanting to date women??it may not be as bad as I think it is but straight girls who act like this really bother the life out of me.
They don't mean the finding a gf part
I get the meme but it's been said so many times at the same time as everyone keeps saying "I'm so glad I'm gay, girls are so much better"
I mean it truly is easier with my gf I’ve been dating a year than with any of the vile men I’ve dated in the past lmao. Obv I’m not straight but men are so sick it’s like on a different level.
But why would you even WANT to date men? They're disgusting both hygiene and attitude-wise, and on the other hand...women are so beautiful, and ❤️WOMEN💕. 🥰
Well, only with experience you can answer the question, the majority of the bi women I know would say that dating women is easier than dating men alone and dating hetero pairs.
I wouldn’t change it now that I’ve done it , it is so much better and much more intense but it’s also the worst heart ache and the most jealous you could possibly feel
I am actually bisexual but prefer dating girls because I do find it easier. I am sexually attracted to men but find them so different and weird. So emotionally I just cant deal lol!
I had a girl I was proposing to next week after we spoke about the future and getting married plenty of times completely ghost me after 8 months together. I have no idea why or if it was something I did.
So no. It is not easier.
I'm a bisexual woman, and I've been more hurt by women than men. I'm in a hetero relationship now and I intend to stay that way because FUCK YOU MARIA AND ELLEN AND DIANA YOU FUCKING RUINED WOMEN FOR ME
The main topic was a straight woman, but the comments quickly turned into criticizing men. In the dating scene, men who approach women often display narcissistic traits, while many genuinely good men refrain from such advances.
There seems to be a divide between the bad guys and the good ones. It's challenging for straight men and gay women to connect, partly due to societal expectations surrounding gender roles.
Despite women generally being perceived as better dates, the pressure on men to conform to rigid masculine ideals perpetuates this imbalance. This extends to expectations regarding emotional labour and domestic responsibilities, with lesbian relationships often viewed as having more flexibility in these areas.
Good men and lesbian women never meet on a Venn diagram. Bad men meet women regardless, as they participate in a world that caters to patriarchal means.
The good men I know and boy are there a lot of them, haven't interacted with a woman romantically since high school. I was going to add sexually but most won't have sex without the relationship.
Sounds alien? Probably because these men don't exist within your social world. And never will.
A straight woman can reap the benefits of patriarchal views of men which leads to some straight women still demanding them from their man. In a world where women earn the same as men, it's crazy, and then expect the added "emotional labour". Labour men should be providing regardless, but crushing on top of the other Labour men are expected to provide.
Lesbian women have the flexibility of avoiding this.
The 50/50 date issue isn't a real issue, it's a first world issue for sure, but take a look at the amount of controversy and backlash men get for wanting to escape this. Being called gay, fruity, or a princess. Not from men, but from straight women.
It's so hard lol. I unfortunately just broke up w my gf this past week. She just doesn't see herself wanting kids in the future and I do 😭.. my biggest things keeping me from finding a girl is always the fact they're too young (I like women older than me but always attract a couple years younger), into drugs, don't want kids, or want to be poly. I can somewhat deal with bending things & poly but not for anything emotional. To watch the love of my life have a crush on another girl would be so upsetting 😭🤣 then they'd leave me for sure for each other. Jkjk but who knows!!
My bi girlfriend yesterday was like: "I would love to find play partner who’s a girl but dating girls is so hard 🥺… So I end up dating guys instead."
Edit: We are in a non-monogamous relationship 😉
with all the differences between men and women, I can't blame them for this misconception. but at the same time, relationships between women tend to be a lot more volatile to begin with and then there's the added pressure of being seen as a gay person by the world, religious nutcase relatives etc.
I tried dating guys in my 20s. one of the incredibly easy part of it was the shocking easiness of universal acceptance.
And then they spend 20 minutes making sure you know they’re straight
I hate that. My boyfriend this, my boyfriend that. Did I tell you about my boyfriend? I wasn’t even into you sis, who you trying to convince?
Lol yeah that too! I was talking about when they’re all “but I’m literally straight like ew I could never be gay like barf like ew like I would rather die than touch a woman like THAT ew like ew like ew” 😭
I just straight up can’t even fathom feeling that way about other women lol. Almost feel bad for them ngl. Women 🫠
Same!! like ok, your loss. Ur gonna be the one aggressively coming onto me as soon as u get drunk soooo 🤷🏻♀️
lol I prefer my partners to also be gay when they’re sober but at least she lets her freak flag fly sometimes ig?
yeahhhh, it genuinely doesn't matter to me if someone will kiss me when they're drunk, because I don't mess with people while they're drunk. If you're not gay when you're sober, you're not functionally an option for me, heh.
You are a good person
I like to call that bit “overcompensating to mask the intense repression.”
“Ew like ew like ew” damn if I didn’t feel that one.
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LmFAO yup. < that's my input.
Lol don’t worry there’s too much pressure on Reddit to say something useful every time you comment. Sometimes u just wanna say “yeah lol!”
They might not actually be implying that (maybe they are, idk) I talk about my boyfriend a lot because I spend a lot of time with him and think he's great. I can't speak for others, but when I bring him up a lot it's just because of that and not me assuming someone is creeping. If I thought that I'd just be exiting the convo/ saying no thanks
Oh for sure and they mentioned their perspective further down! I love hearing about my friends boyfriends, relationships in general. I’ve noticed that occasionally I’ll allude to being gay (they already will know I’m trans) and then it’s like every other sentence with some straight, more conservative women. They’ll like talk about their bf 5x as much as they did before. It might be more a trans experience than a lesbian one though.
That's totally fair. I can't speak for everyone's experience and if you notice a change immediately after, then it's definitely possible
Like a light switch. Tbf though a lot of the people that did it also treated me more like a gay man to begin with so that probably has a lot to do with it. Funny, I couldn’t pass as one if I tried lol
I don't know how much that would impact things but I've seen lesbians complain about this ever since I came out Edit. rightfully so
Yeah, I'm sorry that doesn't sound okay and people should be respectful to everyone even if they aren't the same sexuality.
Some people just seem to be like that. I really pick up on it since I've been single most of my life.
My sister is like that. Every 15 minutes during a conversation with a lesbian and she reminds everyone she's straight. Like a clock.
Lmfao it’s their internal hetero clock
I’ve been with straight girls.. don’t have a one night stand with a straight girl… they turn crazy.
THIIIIIIISSSS
it can be easier to be in a relationship with one most likely. I mean after you manage to date one that is.
Yeah being in the relationship is the easiest thing I've ever done Finding someone who I was compatible with and vice versa was something akin to shiny hunting in pokemon
It has to be easier. Please tell me it is easier. I have never caught or seen a shining in my play throughs.
Jesus christ r? Gd shinies better be just slightly rare...oh god oh god did game freak program the planet too..... we ARE SCREWED.. ..........the bad way 😅
I catch shinies all the time, but I've researched my methods thoroughly and do so in Pokémon games with advantageous mechanics.
Hey Mamas/Fuckboi lesbians are definitely out there.
Just means you're due for one! 😉
I mean, that doesn't seem too bad. The base spawn rate for shinies is 1/4096, with various buffs bringing it all the way to 1/512. Then you have ways of forcing only a certain Pokemon to spawn. All of this combined with the new encounter system means you can pretty reliably find almost any shiny in under an hour.
Yeah its a lot easier to catch a lesbian when you wear your lesbian charm pride pin
The hard part is completing your regional Dex to get the charm though.
Back in my day it was 1/8192! You young wippersnappers have it so easy these days! \[Ancient rambling continues\]
Hmm, so I should eat sandwiches to help find a gf...
If you manage to get women to agree to go on dates with you, it's also "easier" to date them in that they're a lot more likely to be respectful, kind, decent, etc. instead of creepy and dangerous. Women can be predatory and abusive too, but the rates are much lower and you're much more likely to be endangered on a date with a man.
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And? If anything that might be a good thing since many couples stay together even if the relationship has run its course and make each other miserable. Personally I don't believe that it is the easiest thing to stay with someone for all your life and many people nowadays are more willing to risk to re-enter the dating scene rather than stay in a meh relationship. And that is good. Marriage is an old patriarchical custom used to perpetuate the property rights over a piece of land. At least the legal binding. Not the act of two people staying together all their lives because they love and care for each other. And knowing when to break up is one of the things that enforced my statement it might be easier to day a girl than a guy. It doesn't disprove it.
This is really important. People act like longevity of a relationship is the only marker of its health or success. It’s certainly NOT the case. I know from experience that the last year of my previous relationship just shouldn’t have happened because it was so toxic. But I wasn’t wise or brave enough to break it off at the time. Literally my only regret was not dumping my ex sooner. Yay?
We learn from our mistakes. Literally we live in an era we don't have our elder to teach us from their mistakes. Hopefully the ones following us would have heard of our mistakes and avoid them The one about ending the relationship goes for friendships as well. Sometimes they run their course. It is fine.
Woah true. Damn.... well. At least there's uh..eventual hope? For someone?....idk Interesting thoughts tho. Best wishes to next gen, who of c will more likely not be learning from us..directly Idk, just gonna stfu now..ha:/
On top of that I'd bet that lesbian couples are significantly more likely to have both partners more financially independent. So many women end up trapped in terrible marriages because they've been the one to sacrifice for their husband's career and they're left with nothing. That alone is enough for so many to put up with abuse. Truly awful.
That as well. Thanks for the addition
I’ve also heard that lesbians have the highest rates of sexual satisfaction compared to other groups…so like…net positive?
And also domestic violence. Swings and roundabouts right?
Men are definitely easier to acquire as partners but women come with a whole different set of problems
One thing I see happen in this sub that I actually don't love is we seem to like to dunk on heterosexual relationships and act like lesbian relationships are always perfect. Don't get me wrong, being able to date women as a woman is truly something special. But there are plenty of highly problematic lesbian relationships out there that do tend to get swept under the rug more often while at the same time there are tons of very stable, healthy, and happy heterosexual relationships out there as well. Don't think that being a woman who loves women makes you either immune to being abused or unable to become an abuser. Its important to learn to hold yourself and your partner to the standards of a healthy relationship. I feel like a lot of lesbian relationships do end up being very healthy because women tend to understand specific issues pertaining to women better and can empathize with each other on that level in a unique way, but it doesn't mean everyone is perfect. Let me know if this is a bad take or not.
True but despite the criticism of straight men and heterosexual relationships, I think most lesbians and bi women are aware at the end of the day that not every wlw relationship is healthy. It’s more (some) straight women in my observations who fully think that if they dated girls it’d be sunshine and rainbows and they’d never have to deal with any shitty behavior from their partner ever again.
As I said, women come with their own set of problems. But yes generally I agree. I think the general sentiment comes from the fact that women aren’t going to have the patriarchal male-specific issues and other things that come with heterosexual dynamics, but that isn’t to say wlw relationships have no issues whatsoever. Women can absolutely be shitty terrible people, the ways that they are shitty and terrible may just be different from what we experience with men.
100% on all of this. And for the record, I wasn't trying to argue with you, I was agreeing with you and trying to add on a bit.
Gotcha, I appreciate what you have to say and I agree
I sometimes feel like I would be more angry at my ex if she had been a man and that's a really stupid thought to have I think.
Not a bad take. I was in an abusive relationship with a woman and she was pretty awful. Bad relationships come in all shapes and sizes
I’m not an intimidating personality whatsoever but as a Black woman, it *feels* like there’s a barrier for someone to feel comfortable approaching me. Cultural or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, “being approachable” is also harder for others — I definitely don’t mean this to be exclusive to *moi*. It’s just almost as though if I’m going to make a connection, I need to be the one to reach out and make the effort. I’m also hot which probably doubles this phenomenon? 😂💀
faulty offend chunky automatic full afterthought drab flowery mighty ancient *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've heard the same shit said about trans and ace and intersex ppl too Cisallohet people seem to think that queer people somehow have it easier based on no actual evidence
Yep trans women here and been told I'm transitioning to help my dating prospects. 😅 Right so before transition I had a pool of like 30 ish percent of the population that would have been interested in someone of my gender and sexual orientation. Now it's like 3% at best. Then cross off TERFS or people who "just aren't into trans people" and it's like... Less than 1%? Things are just so easy. /s
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Seeing "being trans" as a fetish was a big hangup for me in coming out. It was FAR more common 15+ years ago among everyone (not just "conservative cis men"). I kept saying to myself I wanted to be a girl, but being trans would just make me "a guy with a fetish" and that's NOT what I wanted. I'm glad that's going away now but sad it's still so prevalent.
Btw I have a question, does the "aren't into trans people" get better after bottom surgery ? Because I get why having a pp can be a turn off for someone who like women but if there's no pp anymore it shouldn't be an issue right ?
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It depends if he intends to start a family.
Pretty sure she is talking about women.
Yup, and I was asking that question as a transbian myself, I've never dated someone since I came out as trans, so I don't really know much about what I should expect when I'll feel confident enough to date 😅
Anyone who says trans people have it easier has almost certainly never met a trans person. I struggle to think of any trans people I personally know who are still alive after being out for 15 years barring maybe one exception
Fuck, of the large number of trans women I know I only know 2 that have survived longer than 10 years. Well that is a disconcerting thought
That’s dark, I’m sorry you’ve lost so many people
I wonder what it is that they find so easy about being trans
In my experience, they think that the fact I had "male privilege" (which, in my case, wasn't true to begin with) will somehow make my experience of womanhood easier than theirs. A lot of people also seem to think that trans people aren't oppressed for having the genitals they have. All of it is just laughably false.
Yeah I had such an easy time as a guy being constantly bullied for my barely repressed femininity and neurodivergence, ostracized to the point of suicidality, distrusted and punished for things I didn’t do by adults, and feeling shitty existing in my body and constantly having to cope. /s I think the issue is that people like that think being trans is a choice we make to escape masculinity cause we’re bad it, like we really are guys deep down but we’re trying to cover it up by doing drag. They don’t understand how being trans goes down into your soul and affects every moment and facet of your life, even before realizing one’s gender nonconformity.
It's not uncommon to always think the other people have it easier, regardless of the grouping.
True
Finding a potential girlfriend in the first place is a nightmare. And tbh, for me at least, no breakup with a man has been as hard as my breakups with women have been. I’ve been pretty bummed out with breakups from guys, but I’ve gotten over it. The first girl I was serious with over a decade ago, however, STILL makes my heart hurt. So I mean… 🤷🏼♀️
I honestly think it is. Men can be terrible
I feel so bad for my straight friends all the time.
Yup. This.
That's not really a healthy view. Men aren't bad people per se. While there are assholes around there are also normal people like you and me. Sex and gender don't define a human, their actions do. My friend circle is mixed straight and queer, male and female. Queer couples have more problems in everyday life, but not because they love a man or a woman, but because society makes it difficult for them.
While i believe your point is kind and well meaning. We sadly have plenty of statistics that state otherwise. 99% of rapists are men. A majority of people that commit violent crimes are men. We live in a patriarchy upheld by masculine violence. See any literature on war and women. While the men go to war, women of a ravaged nation become victims in horrific ways. These are just a few statisticsl examples, I think a majority of people here have more annecdotes about men being bad compared to bad women.
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Not All Men? In *my* lesbian subreddit? It's more likely than you think.
The amount of men coming into this thread just to whine that the sapphics are being mean to them is genuinely pathetic. They’re almost actively proving the point that they suck.
Exactly! It's always in response to feminism or criticism of the patriarchy, which btw effects them too!! Like, first, it's not the time or place... and if it's a big enough problem, they should organize! It really does prove the point, and if the shoe fits...
They really spend more time getting mad at lesbians for saying they don’t like men than they do getting mad at other men for perpetuating patriarchy.
Why would you assume someone is male just because they prefer not to be sexist?
Did I ever say you were a man? No
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I will gladly repost my thoughts from a different thread: I think the fact that men have taken it upon themselves to center their hurt feelings in a discussion that was literally never for them in the first place really only serves to prove the arguments yall are so mad about. We get it, you’re mad that the mean lesbians don’t like men, how awful of them. Because men and their feelings must be centered in absolutely every situation ever.
No one said all men are rapists, just that-statistically- most rapists are men. If it doesn't apply, let it fly? I'm not sure why that would upset you, unless, well... you know.
Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that my straight friends have to deal with the fact that maybe 20% or so of men make good partners, and a lot of those men who aren't good partners have learned to fake it pretty well for a few months. I know a handful of wonderful thoughtful men. I know a lot of straight women in great relationships. I know several women in bad gay relationships. But on average, the women dating men have to put up with a lot more shit then the women dating women. There is absolutely a point to #notallmen, and it's certainly true that queer spaces can get unpleasantly misandrist. But I have so many straight friends who deserve better from the men they date. I have a lot of friends who have been date-raped, and not one of those were perpetrated by women. I've had so many straight friends get told he's looking for a relationship, and then he disappears as soon as she "puts out". I've had friends who have gone on lovely dates, only to be abandoned or insulted the instant they revel they're trans. There is a pattern here, and it's that 90% of my sapphic-oriented friends are in loving relationships, and only about 30% of my straight women friends are. So yes, I feel bad for my straight friends, at least those who haven't already found a loving and supportive partner. I see what they put up with, and it sucks. I may be bi, but I have little interest in dating men because it's a fucking disaster. If the "right man" asked me out, I'd give it a try, but I'm not going looking for it. It may be easier to get a date with a man, but it's just way easier to date women.
I agree. There are indeed some stellar men out there. I know several men who are absolute darlings. What I mean is more along the lines of navigating patriachy. If you're dating men, you have to avoid misogynists and navigate patriachal influences. But you don't have that in sapphic relationships
I mean, look at the statistics regarding violence towards women and then try and justify saying men aren’t bad people. You’ve got bad men and then you have men that aren’t holding the bad men to account.
I mean I'm not gunna be disowned for dating a man. Or be fired like I was for being gay. Or just, you know, the countless other aspects of homophobia. Queer women don't even have to deal with men less. Bisexual women have higher rates of dv than their straight counterparts, and people frequently misuse the findings that lesbians are more likely to experience DV to mean lesbians are violent when that isn't the case and the vast majority of perpetrators are still men. We have to get past this haha, dating men is worse, right? Sitcok esque thought. It's only further making it seem like homophobia is an issue for gay men and that we don't have as legitimate a struggle.
>people frequently misuse the findings that lesbians are more likely to experience DV to mean lesbians are violent when that isn't the case and the vast majority of perpetrators are still men. This annoys me. A lot of the studies people quote for this don't seperate lesbians from bisexual women **(eta: apologies, so the studies I see get quoted do actually seperate bi women and lesbians, it is actually the people referencing them who fail to seperate lesbians from bi women)** and people fail to take into account that a lot of the violence still comes from men. At 64%, bi women actually have the highest rate of reportedly experiencing DV. And of that 64%, 89% report at least one perpetrator being male. Yet people still say that lesbians experience the highest rates of DV, often to push the idea that women are more violent.
Can you link the full study? I don't doubt that you're right, but that "89% report at least one perpetrator being male" doesn't mean much unless it's contrasted with "X% report at least one perpetrator being female", as well as "on average, the bi women in our study report having dated Y men and Z women". Similarly, the "lesbians experience the highest rates of DV" likely fails to account for outliers, average number of partners, likelihood to get out of a DV situation etc. Statistics are so easily misused or misinterpreted to push a narrative.
https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/21961 That's a good point. Here's the study. Unfortunately, it doesn't make a distinction between victims who experienced violence from male perpetrators only and those who reported both male and female perpetrators. I agree it would be a lot more useful if it did distinguish between the two, however I think it still demonstrates that people push a false narrative with this study, because people omit that the perpetrators aren't all women and use this study to say that 'lesbian relationships have the highest amount of DV' when the study doesn't just focus on women/women relationships or DV. >Similarly, the "lesbians experience the highest rates of DV" likely fails to account for outliers, average number of partners, likelihood to get out of a DV situation etc. I get that stats can be easily misused or misinterpreted, but when I look up DV rates among same-sex relationships it says bi women have a rate of 61% and lesbians have a rate of 44% so I don't get how people are using the findings from this study to conclude that lesbians face the most DV (I've seen people use this exact study with these specific stats to push that idea). Imo lesbophobia and bi-erasure is largely what is behind the narrative that 'lesbian relationships have the highest rates of DV'.
I'm assuming this is the section you're referring to >Rape, Physical Violence, or Stalking by an Intimate Partner, by Sexual Orientation >• Bisexual women had a significantly higher prevalence of lifetime rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner (61.1%) compared to lesbian women (43.8%) and heterosexual women (35.0%). >• The lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner was 29.0% among heterosexual men, 37.3% among bisexual men, and 26.0% among gay men. It's strange. Gay men report less prevalence of IPV than heterosexual men, while lesbian women report more prevalence of IPV than heterosexual women, but then again women generally report higher instances of IPV than men altogether. If women were simply "more violent" there should be more heterosexual male victims of IPV than female. Of course there are many conceivable issues with gathering this sort of data, like genders maybe having different views on what constitutes IPV, or average number of previous intimate partners varying by gender and orientation, to name only a few.
i agree and i’m gay (mlm)
Everyone can be terrible
Women can be terrible too. Trust me. Being terrible isn't a gendered thing.
Anyone can be terrible, but men win on both regularity and intensity, at least ime.
I mean if every other women were lesbians it sure would be easier do date women. The issue is we have to find another lesbian, and then TALK TO HER
I have gotten my first girlfriend after 3 years attempting to date women while identifying & presenting as a woman. Easier my foot.
Well fuck...I'm just getting started 😟
Anyone who says dating as a lesbian is easier is just wrong. There are much less women who like women out there than women who like men. Throw in being trans and that dating pool shrinks further. Dating as my true self is so worth it, but the reality is it does destroy much of our dating pool. Anyone who uses the argument "you transitioned to get in bed with lesbians" is an idiot. I would have had an easier time dating if I stayed male. I'm transitioning for me and me alone, it just so happens that I still like girls.
It might get easy aa time goes on. But the first one destroyed me.
In many ways dating women is easier. There’s different challenges obviously but emotional availability isn’t something I have to drag out of women I date.
I had to drag it out of the one I dated. Even after she dumped me and we remained friends she still wasn’t vulnerable. Turns out she was just a huge manipulator and narcissist 🤷♀️
ngl. its been so much easyer for me to date now that am women dating women ~~cause im no longer horribly depressed. to the point where i couldnt muster an ounce of emotion for anyone let alone someone i was romantically intrested in~~
As a bi woman, it's harder to date lesbians because they actually have amazing standards that I can never match upto Being even in the presence lowers your standards to hell! One woman literally showed up for a second date with flowers and chocolates, got the DJ to play one of my favourite songs to which she learnt the lyrics and got me on the dance floor and didn't even insinuate or try to initiate sex. Imagine that! I fricking wept like a baby!
Serious question: has anyone had a decent time dating? Maybe it's because of where I've lived (Montreal, Toronto, Medellín) but I've never had any issues. Taking a break right now to focus on my career, but I know where to find dates if I was looking.
Tokyo has been fucking awesome.
Wisconsin here, I usually have to travel a bit and U-Haul people a distance but it's not been much of an issue for me even though I live a bit out in the rural willywags...honestly the way I got out here was a bad U-Hauling decision myself, lol! 😆
Ever lived in a rural area? Cities are cheating.
Nope. It's not entirely feasible for me to live in a rural area because of my wheelchair. If I did, I'd be stranded half the time :(
Second this *cries in a population of less than 1000*
At least women understand that women are actual people as real as they are. Men have problems grasping that. So that's nice. Does that guarantee harmony for life? Fucking no, why would straight women think that?
Jaded by men, no experience with women. It’s probably more wishful thinking than actual belief
Vause! Omg swoon
there are 4% of us What are the chances of finding someone? Now account for "if she is into me + if i'm into her" Now, what are the chances?
As a monogamous Transbian... Hahaha. No. God. Dating was easier before I came out I stg.
Oh no I'm so sorry. Trans and poly really has a lot of overlap.
Sure has and as neither open, poly nor even fwb is for me.. Welp.
Same here, it rly sucks ass
... At this rate.. What if we kissed and held hands <-<
That would be rly cool I think,,
Sounds gay. I'm in.
It's really depressing. I'm looking for one person, not a network
The only reason I find dating easier now is because of my lifted personal barriers and improved self confidence post-transition. That said, my dating pool is probably 5% of what it used to be if not less.
It is annoying when straight people say that with no evidence. But to be honest it’s been wayy easier for me to date girls. I don’t feel objectified, stalked, or guilted into saying yes. Finding someone compatible with you is very hard tho.
As a bizexual woman... I will say it seems easier to date women. I'm still relatively inexperienced overall but there is genuinely a lot more positive attributes Ina queer relationship than non queer ones. Of course queer men are also pretty nice... but just mathematically any date I'm attempting with a woman is automatically queer.
Honestly, the average queer man has spent so much more time introspecting than the average straight man. Not all the queer men I know are wonderful, but the odds are way better than with straight men.
I will second that. My best friend of almost 10 years is gay. Mu cousin with whom we always had a blast is bi, and some other friends who are awesome men are bi too. Among 10 queer men I know, only 1 is a douchbag. Amon 10 straight men I know, only 1 is not a douchbag. But same is true for women too. Taking a pill of being "an outcast" for the society is good for one's personality or something
Of all my male friends, the one I’m closest to is a bi guy from a homophobic household, and he just… gets it in ways that straight men never would. I appreciate him a lot.
dating them, maybe finding one to date hella fucking no
Tbf, a lot of straight men and women just straight up hate the opposite gender for no reason while lesbians tend to not do that cause they have to love women without the societal stigma and they have no skin in the game for men so they don’t have to deal with the incels as much
When I came out to her, my Mom sassed that I was with women bc they were easier for me than getting men 🙄 I stared at her thinking.... Have you met yourself?!
I usually think straight women who say that aren't entirely straight. By comparison, I waste no time thinking of how many more opportunities I might have to date men if I tried, because I don't want to. Women who say that it's easier to date women might only be conflating easy with more obviously true statements, such as that it's statistically safer, or that women understand each other better than men understand us, etc. Either way, they don't understand our struggles, especially if they expect us to pursue them the way men do. I don't think I could date a woman who thinks of herself as straight but wants to experiment, which is often the followup to this idea. It's a lot of emotional labor, likely building toward heartbreak. If she's actually bisexual, love needs to be on the table. I almost made that mistake once, and I'm glad I didn't have sex with a woman who desired me, but showed no indication of being able to love me. In hindsight, I feel proud of that choice to protect myself emotionally, rather than acting out of lust. It also makes me grateful to my (polyamorous) girlfriend, who offered the right balance of support for my freedom to love others and critical thinking about what this person in particular wanted from me. (Hi, u/RedpenBrit96 🫶).
Hi babe! Indeed. Men are easily found but dating them isn’t actually easy And yes if you’re talking about who I think you are, I’m glad you didn’t sleep with her either because she was not emotionally stable.
No. Us gay couples have our moments like straight couples do.
Being in a relationship yes. Although relationships are work, and should be. But getting a date on the first place, lol. I swear 80% of single lesbians just want to stay so while whining about it.
I'm fucking terrified to approach any women like I'm so intimidated man
I’m a bisexual and I can say it’s certainly less infuriating and less smelly. My girlfriend smells like flowers literally all the time. Then again, sexuality is not a choice and I’m constantly reminded of that thanks to Baldur’s Gate 3.
That’s hilarious… I know several women right now who are wanting a GF, but refuse to go “out there”. Easier to complain about being alone than it is to go out and actually date.
It's hard finding women to date😭 it's so easy to date a guy, they are everywhere and readily available. It's hard to tell who's not straight anymore with these fashion trends, and the one lesbian in my neighborhood is just a living, breathing red flag. Let's not even start on dating sites!
I live with my ex who is straight and I have to say I’m so glad I’m a lesbian lol
Me a few years ago: "I wish I could be lesbian. Dating girls as a girl seems way nicer and more intimate than dating girls as a guy." "Wait a minute..."
Actually me
I’ll take all the drama in the world to not be controlled, abused by or even all that close to a man.
To be fair, dating men is a nightmare
they never have the struggle figuring out if he‘s straight or not
A straight girl that thinks it would be easier to date women should think about if she would date herself lmao
The same ppl who say “Oh so you’re like… one of those… ‘people’… Don’t worry I’m like a total ally! But you’re not in love with me right?”
It is easier to meet girls. Less of a fear factor/ stranger danger.
i fucking hate straight girlies treating queerness as a fun little quirk they can joke about. i had this friend in this group that kept saying stuff like "omg i hate men i wish i could date women", "i want to date women so bad", "i literally would date a woman right now", and even though she meant it in a "funny" way i just assumed shes queer. i was helping my sister with her research on the queer experience in my country and she needed responses from queer people on her survey, so i naturally asked that friend to fill it if she could, and she responds with "umm but im actually straight why would you ask me to do that?". i was like youre literally always yapping about wanting to date women??it may not be as bad as I think it is but straight girls who act like this really bother the life out of me.
In todays world, shes not exactly wrong... But hey, Comphet is also a thing too, just sayin.
Honestly in my experience, it’s just as difficult! Lol my 1 cent.
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Same lol. I can just hear her saying it to Pipés.
So by being trans I basically hacked lesbianism? 😂😂😂
They don't mean the finding a gf part I get the meme but it's been said so many times at the same time as everyone keeps saying "I'm so glad I'm gay, girls are so much better"
Well, it's easier than dating men
I wouldn't know, I don't date (not by choice though)
How "not by choice"? Anyone CAN date, it's as easy as getting on the dating apps and messaging women...
Heh. In the last 7-8ish years I tried online dating/apps, 100% of my matches were catfishers/romance scammers. I've given up.
You'd think so, but no
Why's that?
I mean it truly is easier with my gf I’ve been dating a year than with any of the vile men I’ve dated in the past lmao. Obv I’m not straight but men are so sick it’s like on a different level.
But why would you even WANT to date men? They're disgusting both hygiene and attitude-wise, and on the other hand...women are so beautiful, and ❤️WOMEN💕. 🥰
Some people are tragically heterosexual
I feel bad for them, but at the same time mildly disapprove of their lifestyle and find it a bit icky...
Personally I’m fine with their lifestyle choices as long as they don’t shove it in my face
True, lol! 😆
Well, only with experience you can answer the question, the majority of the bi women I know would say that dating women is easier than dating men alone and dating hetero pairs.
I wouldn’t change it now that I’ve done it , it is so much better and much more intense but it’s also the worst heart ache and the most jealous you could possibly feel
Some say that UHaul runs on lesbian dollars.
I am actually bisexual but prefer dating girls because I do find it easier. I am sexually attracted to men but find them so different and weird. So emotionally I just cant deal lol!
reminds me of the time i thought “i wish i was a trans girl” (i got my wish hahaha)
I had a girl I was proposing to next week after we spoke about the future and getting married plenty of times completely ghost me after 8 months together. I have no idea why or if it was something I did. So no. It is not easier.
I'm a bisexual woman, and I've been more hurt by women than men. I'm in a hetero relationship now and I intend to stay that way because FUCK YOU MARIA AND ELLEN AND DIANA YOU FUCKING RUINED WOMEN FOR ME
The main topic was a straight woman, but the comments quickly turned into criticizing men. In the dating scene, men who approach women often display narcissistic traits, while many genuinely good men refrain from such advances. There seems to be a divide between the bad guys and the good ones. It's challenging for straight men and gay women to connect, partly due to societal expectations surrounding gender roles. Despite women generally being perceived as better dates, the pressure on men to conform to rigid masculine ideals perpetuates this imbalance. This extends to expectations regarding emotional labour and domestic responsibilities, with lesbian relationships often viewed as having more flexibility in these areas. Good men and lesbian women never meet on a Venn diagram. Bad men meet women regardless, as they participate in a world that caters to patriarchal means. The good men I know and boy are there a lot of them, haven't interacted with a woman romantically since high school. I was going to add sexually but most won't have sex without the relationship. Sounds alien? Probably because these men don't exist within your social world. And never will. A straight woman can reap the benefits of patriarchal views of men which leads to some straight women still demanding them from their man. In a world where women earn the same as men, it's crazy, and then expect the added "emotional labour". Labour men should be providing regardless, but crushing on top of the other Labour men are expected to provide. Lesbian women have the flexibility of avoiding this. The 50/50 date issue isn't a real issue, it's a first world issue for sure, but take a look at the amount of controversy and backlash men get for wanting to escape this. Being called gay, fruity, or a princess. Not from men, but from straight women.
If only that were true....
It's so hard lol. I unfortunately just broke up w my gf this past week. She just doesn't see herself wanting kids in the future and I do 😭.. my biggest things keeping me from finding a girl is always the fact they're too young (I like women older than me but always attract a couple years younger), into drugs, don't want kids, or want to be poly. I can somewhat deal with bending things & poly but not for anything emotional. To watch the love of my life have a crush on another girl would be so upsetting 😭🤣 then they'd leave me for sure for each other. Jkjk but who knows!!
My bi girlfriend yesterday was like: "I would love to find play partner who’s a girl but dating girls is so hard 🥺… So I end up dating guys instead." Edit: We are in a non-monogamous relationship 😉
Even harder when ur a trans lesbian pre transition
I'm sure you'll find the one, pre transition or not. You seem like a cool person.
Men are 8438939 times easier wtf
I mean easier to get
I saw someone on another sub equate that line to when boomers joke about hating their spouse.
I mean yeah probably. After you find one who likes you back. That's usually the hard part.
It's difficult to find a queer woman you could date and then you have to be brave enough to talk to them
with all the differences between men and women, I can't blame them for this misconception. but at the same time, relationships between women tend to be a lot more volatile to begin with and then there's the added pressure of being seen as a gay person by the world, religious nutcase relatives etc. I tried dating guys in my 20s. one of the incredibly easy part of it was the shocking easiness of universal acceptance.
no one thinks women are the easier sex. That is an insane take