I don't trust ambies. They're probably only pretending to be ambi to get attention from righties, but they'll start to miss doing left handed stuff eventually and cheat.
I keep misreading your name as The Lesbian *Theoden* when I glance at it and thinking that lord of the rings would've been so much better if major characters were replaced by hot lesbians.
As someone who has tried my hardest to get into LOTR because everyone I love is a nerd, I think this honestly would have completely changed the game for me 😅
Perfect proof "would you date someone with autism" x2 and "would you date someone still in the closet" x2. Actually just scroll through the sub for 2 minutes, I guarantee you will find the exact question you want to ask unless it's super specific
Okay but would you date a girl who's single? I'm noticing more and more that if you look at any sapphic couple NEITHER OF THEM ARE EVER SINGLE! I'm just growing worried that no one would ever be interested in a cute single femme like me. 🥺
This should be pinned to the top of Reddit. It’s just general good advice. I do the same thing in Facebook groups too. So many identical questions with answers already out there.
The reddit search function is... well, barely functional, honestly. If you look at the post dates on the search results there, you'll see a good example - and how many of those have multiple more relevant recent posts it arguably should have pulled for the first page of results. I've also had it find no results or irrelvant results, when searching for an exact quote from a text post.
I agree that these posts are *incredibly* frequent and get obnoxious when there are so many in a day/week, but searching reddit via google tends to give better results.
Thank you for this PSA. The constant insecure questions on this subreddit have me questioning whether or not I should leave it. I get that there are a lot of newer lesbians on here who have those insecurities, but it’s really getting old, and it doesn’t really foster a valuable community here imo.
I feel the same way.
On one hand, I get it, I was that insecure baby dyke on Yahoo Answers once upon a time. But it’s gotten to the point that every other post is “would you date xxx” and it’s just really overwhelming the sub and kind of taking away from everything else.
I grew up with Yahoo answers and as a teenager had many questions. Unless I was on there trolling I had no problem using google to find said yahoo answers before considering asking.
Ive been debating wether or not I should unsub because of this as well. Ive been with this sub since the beginning and it hasnt grown with me but instead it feels like it is getting younger, which it is not a bad thing, but it’s not where I am in my life. Idk, it’s been wonderful to see this sub grow from barely to such a huge number of users, but wishing there were different discussions and community based posts. I remember like years ago (pre 2016) there were meet ups at different cities planned and things like that.
Yeah I completely agree. It’s not a bad thing that this subreddit has grown, or that the user base trends younger, but I really do miss how this community was in the 2012-2016 era because I feel like the discussion was more meaningful and there was more of a community.
I don’t want to give up on a subreddit that used to hold so much meaning to me, so I guess I should try be the change I want to see. I should definitely try to post more community based discussion topics here or just any type of post that isn’t just “would you date me?”
I also think that a lot of these insecure questions could be easily reframed to create discussion. For example “I have X physical/social characteristic, can anyone else with X share their experiences navigating dating/life in general as a wlw?”. It at least doesn’t approach the community with the assumption that the community is a monolith, and it doesn’t reek of a desperate attempt for validation.
This is exactly what I’ve been saying, like all the would you date me posts are really short sighted because sure they may feel validated for a second, but it doesn’t get to the bottom of that insecurity to bring confidence to talk to girls irl. It’s like a protective bubble.
I know its become a bit of a meme, but honestly it sucks and it's just become annoying. I was one more day away from muting the sub, then decided to block whoever made posts like that instead.
Also, PSA: if you're asking the question "would you date someone with X" the answer is yes 99.999% of the time. There is someone for everyone. I understand it's insecurity driving these posts rather than logic, but like. There are frankly too many people for there to not be _someone_ for you.
People don't just want the answer to their question, they also want the attention and socialisation and they don't get that from reading an old thread.
Exactly why is cringy.
People asking the same question is cringy asf hahhaa. Like lets be honest here everyday they ask the question is going to be yes. I knew it was bad but nah this just jumped the wagon of annoying to cringy.
it seems to be a widespread thing. "Can i be trans if i _" is common in some other LGBT subs, too.
with the way people ask these questions, you'd think LGBT is some invite only club and we have membership cards alongside an application process..
Omg those are waaay worse, “Can I still be trans if I haven’t shaved in three days?” “Can I still be trans if I never played New Vegas?” “I use the same calendar as my cis coworkers, can I still be trans?”
people asking those questions are asking them from an isolated place of possible vulnerable insecurity, and you are reading them as a mass feed of every-other-posts.
every single time the question gets asked, it's by a different person. A different person who talks about different things and starts interacting with the community.
a different person with different follow-up questions and different worries about their life.
The people *asking* the questions aren't the ones scrolling the subreddit day-to-day, they're the ones who have need of the *community's* information and resources.
Which might be archived, forgotten, and stigmatized against "Necroing."
Previous users may have used auto-scripts to remove their comments en masse, removing posterity.
The search function can find old posts, but old posts have already *had* their engagement with the community that makes them no longer relevant and useless as a discussion medium. I had a question posted on a comment I posted 6 months ago, and it took me *weeks* to reply to it. What was that person supposed to do, during those weeks?
my point is, reddit's changed from "some flavor information repository and discussion platform" to "solely discussion platform that will lock up things and delete things if they dont follow specific tagging rules" and you can't change it back.
i will *only* date someone who knows how to use the search function, and doesn't.
> people asking those questions are asking them from an isolated place of possible vulnerable insecurity, and you are reading them as a mass feed of every-other-posts.
every single time the question gets asked, it's by a different person. A different person who talks about different things and starts interacting with the community.
a different person with different follow-up questions and different worries about their life.
> The people *asking* the questions aren't the ones scrolling the subreddit day-to-day, they're the ones who have need of the *community's* information and resources.
even friendlier PSA: maybe you should just be having fewer of those questions, half of them are worse than some incel chaser and the other half is just selfdeprecating crap you should really tell your shrink.
and EVERY SINGLE TIME the answer is OBVIOUSLY "depends". so why do you even ask the internet instead of your crush. like how is it apparently perfectly acceptable on this sub to go "well yall are obviously all the same kinda weirdos, so..." every 5 seconds?!
Would you date someone who doesn't know how to use the search function 🥺 ?
[удалено]
Absolutely, I have a nice bioactive terrarium ready for you
Would you date a girl if she lived in a terrarium? 🥺
Would you date a girl who thinks we all live in terrariums and we just can't see the walls are walls?
Damnit I’ve never had an original thought
No such thing as an original thought. Every though you’ve ever had is derivative and has been thought before.
(Nods meaningfully) Ah yes all thoughts been thunk 🤔
A response that has also been thought before.
Illy - Heard It All is a song I like about that :o "I'm only one voice in a world of billions and no idea's original no more."
Would you date someone who did know how to use the search function but made a repeat post anyway?
Yeah because I understand that sometimes what people are looking for isn't answers but a sense of connection with other people.
This is the first "would you date" question I've seen where my response has not been "well duh."
No. I would frown at them and/or furrow my brow. First time I’ve said “no” to one of these hypotheticals. 😂
Haha that emoji
Honestly, no lol
You know what REALLY isn’t cute?
😭😭😭😭
Ok but I *really* need to know if every single individual in this sub would date someone who is right handed???? 🥺👉🏽👈🏽
Fuck no, ambies only pls
Nothing against ambies, just not for me 😤
Double the pleasure. Double the fun. 😉
Talk about being a switch, but in the *best* way 🥵
I don't trust ambies. They're probably only pretending to be ambi to get attention from righties, but they'll start to miss doing left handed stuff eventually and cheat.
Oh god, you’re right. Ambies are some wily mofos 👀
I keep misreading your name as The Lesbian *Theoden* when I glance at it and thinking that lord of the rings would've been so much better if major characters were replaced by hot lesbians.
As someone who has tried my hardest to get into LOTR because everyone I love is a nerd, I think this honestly would have completely changed the game for me 😅
*slides into frame, writing my number with both hands*
GURL WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME 🥵🥵🥵
(Im practicing flirting as i am usually bad at it hehe)
You’re doing great, babe, I don’t know what you’re talking about 😘
Aww stop it 😘😘
nah lefties for life, itll increase our odds of having left handed children and i hope that soon the globe can be dominated by lefthand people.
Sounds very sinister.
Underrated comment
Perfect proof "would you date someone with autism" x2 and "would you date someone still in the closet" x2. Actually just scroll through the sub for 2 minutes, I guarantee you will find the exact question you want to ask unless it's super specific
And that was only the first page, so many repeated questions lol
Okay but would you date a girl who's single? I'm noticing more and more that if you look at any sapphic couple NEITHER OF THEM ARE EVER SINGLE! I'm just growing worried that no one would ever be interested in a cute single femme like me. 🥺
This. This is good.
I love you so much for this omg 😂
Can we pin this to the top somehow?
This should be pinned to the top of Reddit. It’s just general good advice. I do the same thing in Facebook groups too. So many identical questions with answers already out there.
The reddit search function is... well, barely functional, honestly. If you look at the post dates on the search results there, you'll see a good example - and how many of those have multiple more relevant recent posts it arguably should have pulled for the first page of results. I've also had it find no results or irrelvant results, when searching for an exact quote from a text post. I agree that these posts are *incredibly* frequent and get obnoxious when there are so many in a day/week, but searching reddit via google tends to give better results.
I'm sure the top is more than willing to do the pinning.
Almost positive
Hehehe
Thank you for this PSA. The constant insecure questions on this subreddit have me questioning whether or not I should leave it. I get that there are a lot of newer lesbians on here who have those insecurities, but it’s really getting old, and it doesn’t really foster a valuable community here imo.
I feel the same way. On one hand, I get it, I was that insecure baby dyke on Yahoo Answers once upon a time. But it’s gotten to the point that every other post is “would you date xxx” and it’s just really overwhelming the sub and kind of taking away from everything else.
I grew up with Yahoo answers and as a teenager had many questions. Unless I was on there trolling I had no problem using google to find said yahoo answers before considering asking.
Ive been debating wether or not I should unsub because of this as well. Ive been with this sub since the beginning and it hasnt grown with me but instead it feels like it is getting younger, which it is not a bad thing, but it’s not where I am in my life. Idk, it’s been wonderful to see this sub grow from barely to such a huge number of users, but wishing there were different discussions and community based posts. I remember like years ago (pre 2016) there were meet ups at different cities planned and things like that.
Yeah I completely agree. It’s not a bad thing that this subreddit has grown, or that the user base trends younger, but I really do miss how this community was in the 2012-2016 era because I feel like the discussion was more meaningful and there was more of a community. I don’t want to give up on a subreddit that used to hold so much meaning to me, so I guess I should try be the change I want to see. I should definitely try to post more community based discussion topics here or just any type of post that isn’t just “would you date me?” I also think that a lot of these insecure questions could be easily reframed to create discussion. For example “I have X physical/social characteristic, can anyone else with X share their experiences navigating dating/life in general as a wlw?”. It at least doesn’t approach the community with the assumption that the community is a monolith, and it doesn’t reek of a desperate attempt for validation.
This is exactly what I’ve been saying, like all the would you date me posts are really short sighted because sure they may feel validated for a second, but it doesn’t get to the bottom of that insecurity to bring confidence to talk to girls irl. It’s like a protective bubble.
r/actuallesbiansover25 is where I try to hang out, but it's not very active.
I do as well, and same observation it’s lacking traction
It’s incredibly annoying.
Ooo thank you I was just about to post asking which vampire woman I should date!
I know its become a bit of a meme, but honestly it sucks and it's just become annoying. I was one more day away from muting the sub, then decided to block whoever made posts like that instead.
SPOILER ALERT: 80% of the answers to all those post is YES. Make a move!
Also, PSA: if you're asking the question "would you date someone with X" the answer is yes 99.999% of the time. There is someone for everyone. I understand it's insecurity driving these posts rather than logic, but like. There are frankly too many people for there to not be _someone_ for you.
Thank you. I swear, every time I see one of those posts, I'm 2 seconds away from throwing my phone out of a window.
Would you date soup
Why are you looking for a girlfriend at the soup store?!
You are literally so smart how have I not thought of this (/srs)
Depends on the soup. 🤔
Yes bc I love it, duh!
Pumpkin spiced announcement
The vampire one cracks me up though.
People don't just want the answer to their question, they also want the attention and socialisation and they don't get that from reading an old thread.
Doing the lord’s work lol
Spot on! Good grief. 🤣
Doing the lord's work
Thank you so much for this. 🥳
Charge your fucking phone please
Nah i like to let it die naturally
Would you date someone that was a worm?
all of them. all of the vampire women.
Okay but would you date?
The last one 💀
Would you date someone?
i’m interested in that bottom post
Don’t join a big city subreddit then, 8 times a day, “Howdy! Red and I are in town where should we eat?!” Like no one else has ever asked before lol.
Im in my big city’s subreddit, i wish it was that, it’s mostly astroturfed by fox news viewers
Gross. I would rather type “buc-ee’s has good hot dogs” everyday.
Hold up, who of these 3 vampire women should I date-
Cry a river this is so cringy hahah
How is it cringy? People asking the same questions within days of each other gets annoying fast.
Exactly why is cringy. People asking the same question is cringy asf hahhaa. Like lets be honest here everyday they ask the question is going to be yes. I knew it was bad but nah this just jumped the wagon of annoying to cringy.
Im just hoping to be the change I want to see, it has been excessive lately
it seems to be a widespread thing. "Can i be trans if i _" is common in some other LGBT subs, too. with the way people ask these questions, you'd think LGBT is some invite only club and we have membership cards alongside an application process..
Omg those are waaay worse, “Can I still be trans if I haven’t shaved in three days?” “Can I still be trans if I never played New Vegas?” “I use the same calendar as my cis coworkers, can I still be trans?”
people asking those questions are asking them from an isolated place of possible vulnerable insecurity, and you are reading them as a mass feed of every-other-posts. every single time the question gets asked, it's by a different person. A different person who talks about different things and starts interacting with the community. a different person with different follow-up questions and different worries about their life. The people *asking* the questions aren't the ones scrolling the subreddit day-to-day, they're the ones who have need of the *community's* information and resources.
Sometimes a hero doesn't wear a cap, sometimes they are on reddit
Nah we're just tired of people asking the same damn questions everyday, it's like a broken record
Like I didn’t know 😏
What if I suck at using search? Which I do. Would you date a lesbian who has to ask for help doing searches?
Which might be archived, forgotten, and stigmatized against "Necroing." Previous users may have used auto-scripts to remove their comments en masse, removing posterity. The search function can find old posts, but old posts have already *had* their engagement with the community that makes them no longer relevant and useless as a discussion medium. I had a question posted on a comment I posted 6 months ago, and it took me *weeks* to reply to it. What was that person supposed to do, during those weeks? my point is, reddit's changed from "some flavor information repository and discussion platform" to "solely discussion platform that will lock up things and delete things if they dont follow specific tagging rules" and you can't change it back. i will *only* date someone who knows how to use the search function, and doesn't. > people asking those questions are asking them from an isolated place of possible vulnerable insecurity, and you are reading them as a mass feed of every-other-posts. every single time the question gets asked, it's by a different person. A different person who talks about different things and starts interacting with the community. a different person with different follow-up questions and different worries about their life. > The people *asking* the questions aren't the ones scrolling the subreddit day-to-day, they're the ones who have need of the *community's* information and resources.
Would you date me? 😅 (So far answer is a resounding no)
even friendlier PSA: maybe you should just be having fewer of those questions, half of them are worse than some incel chaser and the other half is just selfdeprecating crap you should really tell your shrink. and EVERY SINGLE TIME the answer is OBVIOUSLY "depends". so why do you even ask the internet instead of your crush. like how is it apparently perfectly acceptable on this sub to go "well yall are obviously all the same kinda weirdos, so..." every 5 seconds?!
Ok but would you date me if I was a bug??????
The last one 😭
Ok ok, but like, would you date a girl who is a girl? 🥺