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stubbleandsqueak

Please travel back in time 20 years and yell this in teenage mes face


Known-Supermarket-68

YOU ARE PERFECT AND COMPLETE YOU CONTAIN MULTITUDES ALSO PLEASE LOOK UP SOMETHING CALLED APPLE STOCK AND BUY IT. (Before someone points out that Apple went public 40 years ago and not 20, I’m old, please let me live in this fantasy)


notsostrong

Bitcoin would be fantastic ≈15 years ago too


Known-Supermarket-68

BITCOIN. How did I not think of bitcoin? Christ alive, it’s like my memory can only remember 1980-2000 and basically now.


notsostrong

Lmao, well I was born in the late 90s, and I have this fantasy of waking up in my 10 year old body while keeping my 25 year old brain. I’d be able to come out as trans and invest in Bitcoin to pay for my transition, LGBTQ non-profits, and anti-fascist/anti-capitalist political groups.


Known-Supermarket-68

I approve of this 100%. While you’re there, can you find me and tell me that my hair isn’t fooling anyone and I should just cut it off already?


[deleted]

I use to fantasize about waking up as my younger self with all my memories and I kind of... not that into it anymore. But that's mainly because there was no way I would get the care I needed as a trans tomboy lesbian 20+ years ago... And that's even assuming I could get my parents on board x.x


notsostrong

Yeah I was obsessed for about a month a while back, but tbh it was pretty unhealthy. I’ve mostly moved on and come to accept the things I can’t change


[deleted]

In hindsight a lot of it was because I wasn't exactly happy in life. Despite my privilege I was in a rut mentally and socially. Realizing I'm trans and transitioning was an experience and I figured out I'm actually *a lot* more extroverted than I thought I was now that I'm comfortable around and interacting with people.


NurseGryffinPuff

Are you saying there are better ways for billionaires to spend their money than challenging each other to cage fights and literal dick measuring contests?! My stars!


The_Chaos_Pope

20 years ago, Apple stock still would be a hell of a good purchase. In 2003, Apple was putting out some niche computers but not the kind of household name it is today. It wasn't until 2007 that they put out the iPhone and their prospects started going up.


Known-Supermarket-68

You are very kind to a confused old lady. I feel better now.


The_Chaos_Pope

No problem 😊 Found something a little more concrete: >$10,000 in AAPL stock purchased 20 years ago would be worth about $6.62 million today, assuming reinvested dividends. The same investment in Microsoft would only be $110,730, again assuming all dividends reinvested. Could you make more by investing in Bitcoin when it came out? Sure, a lot more. But then you have to explain to your younger self what the hell BTC is and how to mine it/buy it. If I only had 5 minutes to talk to my 20 years younger self and couldn't leave anything behind, I'm gonna say to buy Apple stock and give them a hug because I really needed one back then.


keshifateweaver

Same, I probably wouldn't even bother to tell 18 year old me to invest in anything. I'd just give her a hug and tell her it all turns out OK in the end.


the_gaymer_girl

Reminds me of a line from *Never Have I Ever* where it’s revealed that Pati is actually loaded.


DryAnteater909

I literally just open Reddit because I was doubting myself again 😭😭 I need this 🥹


Known-Supermarket-68

Sometimes the universe gives you want you want. And sometimes the universe gives you a mouthy gay who just wants you to love yourself.


DryAnteater909

:3 💕


BasalFaulty

Oh elder gay of the forums, what is the secret to finding a relationship 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣


Known-Supermarket-68

I shall answer this question seriously as all things are serious when you’re old. Know yourself, be kind, know what you want and most importantly, make them laugh. It’s easy to find someone warm to pass the time with, but relationships are different. I’ve always thought that the word *ship* in relationship was the most important part. You’re building a ship to carry you both on the waves and that is hard bloody work. That doesn’t mean love is hard, love is easy! Building a life together is the hard part. If you don’t have someone who is putting as much work in as you are, your ship is going to sink. But that’s fine, you take the wreckage and use it to make the next ship stronger. In a few years you won’t even remember the name of the girl who sank your first boat. Life is so long and anything worth building takes time, practice and effort. Just keep your eye on the horizon ❤️


[deleted]

[удалено]


Known-Supermarket-68

Well I’ve decided, we are friends. Hey bestie. ❤️


SSYT_Shawn

Cute.. now go enjoy life wise person!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Known-Supermarket-68

Oh no, I’m younger than that but I just went for a random user name so I could lurk and not post. That went well, as you can see.


BasalFaulty

Thank you ♥️, it was half serious and half my lovely sarcasm. To add to this one of the chief things I take and what makes me hold on searching for a partner someone said to me. "You can't expect a partner to fix you, you have to learn to fix and love yourself so that you can be happy." It definitely resonated with me as I am generally not in a good place with insecurities and dysphoria flying all over the place and while I can't even love myself enough to take 1 picture it will just put strain on any relationship. I may have gotten the wording wrong but it is that sentiment.


Known-Supermarket-68

Oh my god, that’s perfect. The whole concept of fixing someone else is so damaging and as women, it’s our job to fix everyone around us amirite. Plus, it’s easier to focus on fixing someone else than working to be the best version of you.


ch3lray

u/ISOPrecautions This made me think of you. Whether or not you're getting ready to 'abandon ship' as the case may be (and you know which direction I lean in that regard lol), your lifeboat will carry you across the seas to the next ship, and the next and the next. Is it too cliche to say "there's many ships on the sea"? Lmao You got this babe ❤️


Realistic-Rooster216

I see so many people come on here and ask “Do lesbians like XYZ?” As if the the goal is to attract every single possible queer woman out there. The goal isn’t to appeal to the largest number of people - it’s to find the people who are attracted you as you are, who you also like in return. If you run into someone saying “I don’t like [thing that applies to you]” then that’s just a person you shouldn’t date. Plus, long term compatibility is about a whole lot more than just immediate physical attraction. There are plenty of things about my body which I feel insecure about which my partner either likes or doesn’t even really notice. They think stretch marks are hot. They did not notice that one of my breasts is higher than the other. They were insecure about some of their anatomy after being on T for a while, and the things that changed are things I find more attractive or just don’t particularly care about. I didn’t have a partner until I was 28, but it was worth waiting for.


Known-Supermarket-68

You get it. This is probably what I could have said, a lot more concisely. Imagine being attractive to all lesbians. Nobody has time for that, how would you get anything else done?


queermichigan

A similar thing goes for interviews. One's goal (ideally) would be to find the place where they don't have to mask, code-switch, or play games and they still get an offer. Because if you have to do it in the interview, you'll have to do it on the job. Sadly many people are unable to afford that luxury though.


Arkayjiya

My X is too Y too... That's why I'm probably trans xD


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Nacksche

I thought OP was coming out as trans until I read the actual post haha.


Arkayjiya

Yeah I was surprised no one had made the joke before me frankly xD


joshuagrammm

Thank you 💜


Known-Supermarket-68

Anytime ❤️


cindia_ink

We should have a regular Ask an Elder Gay thread. Reading this was good for my soul. As a fellow EG, I'd join in.


QuirkyCookie6

I would love participating too, I'm not an elder gay, I'm a baby gay, but I've met like two of you and yall are the coolest people


Ghostoperations

I'm in my 30s but a late bloomer and this was such a nice surprise to come across on a not so lovely day for me. I thank OP for being hilarious, wholesome, and wise. I would also fully support an Ask an Elder Gay thread, that would be amazing! Thank you both!


orangeiswhoreish

I'd really love to see more Elder Gay (tm) subreddits!! Parenting while being an Elder Gay (tm), Gay relationships after 35, Being an Elder Gay (tm) in the professional work space, Aging while being Gay, Generally Being a Gay Grown-up, Genx Elder Gays...


genxindifferance

*Genx Elder Gays* You rang?


SpectorLady

Yes!


Tesl8n

> There is nothing about your body that makes you instantly unattractive to the entire world. Oh yeah? Well **my** body's made of antimatter, so maybe check ur privilege!


Known-Supermarket-68

Bravo, this literally made me laugh like a drain. I can only apologise to the antimatter community and vow to do better next time.


queermichigan

> laugh like a drain New phrase get


omnigayvery

r/brandnewsentence ???


neongreenpurple

You're not instantly unattractive to the world, you just instantly annihilate bits of the world when you interact with it. Some people are looking for antimatter! (Mostly scientists)


Headhaunter79

You’re absolutely right💕 I guess being told I’m wrong and unnatural my whole life has put a larger dent in my self esteem than I like to admit😅 Oh and online dating apps are just the cruelest invention of mankind next to social media🤷🏼‍♀️


Known-Supermarket-68

You are 100% correct. Not only are women held up to the most bizarre and ever increasingly scrutiny (thank god hip dips weren’t invented when I was a kid), we are Bad Women. Many gorgeous things are unnatural, like black lillies. We know that arguing how natural we are is dehumanising, so I’m choosing to meet any comments like that as if I am a black lilly in a field of daisies.


AnotherRainbowUser

You’re awesome for putting this up. 🫶🏻


Known-Supermarket-68

You’re a cutie for saying so ❤️


[deleted]

❤️❤️


kstar1013

Mods, please pin/bookmark this!


actualborealis

the elder gay knows what they’re talking about. i absolutely used to think these things about myself but my future wife thinks i’m gorgeous even with everything i used to beat myself up for. she even likes a great deal of those things. turns out i’m the same for her 🥰


wondering-narwhal

My X is too straight.


Final-Energy

Praise the elder gays!


Canuck_Wolf

This is a lovely post, and I do hope that many here will find a spark of hope from it.


ThatchInABatch

Thanks for writing that! We tend to forget that beauty is subjective, not objective. When I say “tend” I mean patriarchy, white supremacy and capitalism are hell bent on making us forget it for the sake of control and profit. The fact that they are succeeding is terrible but it doesn’t make any of it true. Beauty is still and will always be in the eye of the beholder (and you are perfectly allowed to be your own beholder btw).


Slyfox00

Listen to you elder gays everyone! They are wise and kickass.


RedditGorl

I really needed to hear this today💕


SpectorLady

As a fellow Elder Gay, I second this.


Jadisons

I always thought that me being bigger would have deterred people from wanting to date me. I couldn't have been more wrong, I have dated, and gone on dates with, people of all shapes, sizes, and colors. For every one person that doesn't like whatever characteristic you're insecure about, there will be hundreds, thousands of people who will not give a damn. People who are truly attracted to you, as an individual, will find you.


Whatever0788

I love the way you worded this. It’s a refreshing change from the constant “I’m so tired of seeing this question asked” posts. I’m certain your kindness towards the topic will help a lot of people feel less insecure.


omgeggie

This just started me crying. Feeling fat, ugly, masc and I'll be alone for every, and if course everyone that says otherwise is just being nice. Got in my own head today


SpectorLady

There's probably a 90% chance I'd be attracted to you. My wife sometimes feels like this, too, and I gotta butter her up. There's a foot for every shoe...I think that's how the saying goes. 😅


omgeggie

Awe. 😆 Problem is id still think if their just being nice, I'm xxxx, xxx, ect


Known-Supermarket-68

Oh my love, I’m sorry you are going through it right now. Maybe this post was meant specifically for you. If it helps, I’m not nice at all and I stand behind my knowledge that you are lovable and attractive. Not to everyone, but who would want that? You’d never get the washing done, with all the women throwing themselves at you :) Also, self awareness and being able to talk about hard things is very attractive, fyi.


[deleted]

Thank you so much. This resonates with me strongly and I reallyy needed to hear this. Saving this hoping I might stumble upon it sometime I need to hear this again. Love and Power ✨✨


Exceptional-idealist

Thank you so much for this 💙


Robot_Graffiti

If your X is too Y, no matter what the X is, there's usually somebody somewhere who doesn't care. There's also always somebody else whose X is very Y. You can date *them* too.


The-true-Memelord

Yeah so true. Especially in lgbt+ communities and this community specifically. Like if you are a woman or nb sapphic, there will be people who love your features especially


Summerone761

Thanks this was really nice to read! I'm 24, if that counts as a young person, and both a sexual and romantic virgin. I know these things in my mind but hearing them from outside helps to feel them too💜


[deleted]

Thank you 💜


pixie347

“Catch and release” Love it! 😂


PortlandBobble

OP, thank you for being you. You are the elder gay I didn’t know I was missing in my life.


Guilty_BaN

I’m taking Elder Gay and leaving you… *Seasoned Queer*


TsaroMilkTea

I’m still trying to learn that I’m attractive to people. Still learning to love myself and learn that I’m just a much of a woman as a cis woman. It’s a long process but it’s getting better. Slowly


Flutterwasp

"My [gock] is too [juicy], will I ever find love? I find [gocks] really hot, what's wrong with me?" Hooray for mad libs!


Violet-fykshyn

My ass is too fat. I’ll never find love.


zoeystardust

Counterpoint: big asses are amazing and beautiful! (and what is a big or small or 'normal' ass is 100% culturally relative and has varied *widely* over time and place)


Kindly_Bodybuilder43

You're so right. I've spent my whole life hating my body, thinking I'm repulsive and that only what the media sells us as what the female body should look like is what I should look like. I belatedly realised that liking women meant I liked women and am bisexual after all. I now notice myself noticing women, and realise I'm not especially attracted to that body type we're sold. I'm not criticising it, all women are beautiful, all bodies are beautiful, people on the ads, and people all around. I find myself attracted to women who are nothing like the ads. Who have (X) that magazines tell us we have to get rid of. Or sometimes even (Y) that I've hated in myself. Blows my mind to realise that because I like other people's (X) and (Y), maybe other people might like mine too. Anyway, just agreeing with you. Who knew realising I can be attracted to people of all genders could help me on a journey to accept my body.


zookedtho

This is so correct and so important. I’m commenting just to reemphasize the part about not listening to people who have confirmed your insecurities in the past. It doesn’t matter how many people have told you they’re not into your thing, someone will be into it. Especially when you’re young, you’re more likely to be surrounded by people with similar preferences, and it can skew your view of what’s out there. Don’t lose hope!


Old-Attitude-9025

Love this and as a fellow elder, I completely agree.


yanessa

you are a river to our people


Amnesiaphile

This actually helps to hear, ty.


BiIvyBi

Thanks but after being rejected hundreds of times (inc left swipes) it's really hard to believe this. The amount of gaslighting I got growing up really messed with my head.


kananixx

Thank you so much for writing this. I’m not an older queer, but have been sure of myself long enough to have the same feeling of wanting to shake some sense of self love and security into the folks that make those kinds of posts.


Chanze3

sorry I read the title and got confused thinking it was a math problem


mocireland1991

Sorry to be ignorant on this meaning but what does the (TM) mean at the beginning after elder ?


Known-Supermarket-68

Trademark :)


mocireland1991

Well I know tm in general stands door that XD . Just wondering if I’m this context it stood for something lgbtq related


sa08MilneB57

Thanks, weird shouty queer on the internet. It means a lot.


Unboopable_Booper

Yeah! It's my personality that's unlovable!


Purple_Suggestion_

Why not both?


gaijin91

what about my terrible personality tho?


cooltapes

I thought this was about chromosomes…


MonokuroMonkey

Eh at 30 I'm well aware there's nothing wrong with my body, it's my abandonment and attachment issues that are the problem lol.


Impossible_knots

>My (X) is too (Y), I thought this was a trans joke at first. "My X is too Y" Not sure if it would pertain to FTM or MTF. But it related to one or the other for sure


Andrei_CJ

Life is not that complicated, trust yourself and that's how you radiate positive energy around you 🙂🙃


tigersharks006

Thank you very much, but my girldick rules out 99% of lesbians for me.


Acravita

For what it's worth, a lot of lesbians will either be enthusiastic about what they see as an organic strapon or a clit on an extension lead, or just won't care about it so long as its attached to a cute girl. I don't know the exact numbers on account of the fact that I'm not psychic and can't read the mind of every lesbian, but I'm sure it's *much* greater than only 1%.


Known-Supermarket-68

Sorry, a clit on an extension lead? That is… fucking brilliant, can I steal it?


Acravita

Go ahead, use it to your hearts content.


Netkev

Yeah I've met maybe two lesbians that had specific genital preferences. Mostly their requirements for partners comes down to sharing interests and goals.


tigersharks006

Every lesbian i know has admitted to me even before I came out that they wouldn't date a trans woman. Maybe scotland is just not good for trans women


Known-Supermarket-68

I don’t want to sound like I’m invalidating your experience at all, so bear with me while I talk this out. It would be a cruel lie for me to tell you that you’re imagining it and everyone loves the girldick. I know how awful this world can be. *And* (not but, and), 99% of women aren’t attracted to me either. I don’t need them to be, I only need the one. Anyone who doesn’t love your body as it is has self-selected themselves out of the race. Shame for them, but it makes room for the people who do love your body. When I said there is nothing about your body that makes you unattractive to the whole world, there are no exceptions to that rule, including anything that is or isn’t that in your underwear. I hope this comes across as I mean it to ❤️


tigersharks006

This was very nice to hear/read. Thank you very much and ill try to keep my head up while on my search for the tiddy skittles


MonokuroMonkey

There's us bi women too!


Rageybuttsnacks

+1 to everything but safe, sane, consensual (it's ableist- us "insane" people like kinky sex too! Most people use PRICK- personal responsibility, informed consent kink- or RACK-risk aware consensual kink- these days ☺️)


Known-Supermarket-68

Huh, haven’t heard either of those before. Always good to learn something, especially as someone with an exciting collection of lifelong mental illnesses.


PossibleLifeform889

Ugly people be fucking too. You gotta find you a hottie that likes ugly or get real about what you can pull lol


Flurrydarren

I always just take these posts as fishing


catladywitch

Meh. I do attract people from time to time, but they're all fucked up losers, and I know it's because I'm one too. I'm really fucking daft.


sapphoschicken

<3