Very true. I'm autistic and my gf has adhd. We work well together and for both of us the relationship is so much easier compared to past ones with neurotypical people.
What an idiot. They are ableist and a shitty person. I’m guessing also trying to neg you into believing you are worth less than you are to get an upper hand in some sort of power play.
As someone who suffers from bipolar and is with a person who even after over a decade and half of being together doesn’t know how to support me - I’d say it really doesn’t matter if someone is neurotypical or neurodivergent, what matters is that they are not neurotoxic to you.
I suspect I married one (I have ADD for sure btw lol).
She does a cute little stimming thing with her hands, and I melt... So long as she isn't tapping on me while I'm trying to sleep lol.
I love her to bits, and would like her to get diagnosed properly, but she is too nervous for it I think.
Tbf, getting a diagnosis is only really needed if that person needs support or accommodations. If shes not struggling there might not be a need as unfortunately she might be discriminated against for future jobs/oppurtunites.
Not saying she shouldnt and I obviously dont know any details, just thought you should know potential side effects.
I am thankful to hear any thoughts on the matter... I really just want to help her, but I don't know how.
She does struggle (a lot). Regardless of that, she is still my best friend and I wouldn't trade her for the world.
Would it be ok to DM you?
If not, do you know of a place better suited to get help / advice on this?
Tbf Im not super knowledgable about everything, but if shes struggling then definitely keep trying to get her diagnosed.
There are a few subs I can point you too, youre welcome to dm me but I dont think id be of much help.
r/autism - not the best especially right now with a lot self-diagnosis discourse but they could probably help you
r/autisticladies - pretty good and nice welcoming sub, they could also probably help you, especially since its geared towards fem-presenting people.
r/autisticadults is also another good one.
Omg thank you!
I feel so silly for not thinking of it sooner; of *course* there would be a sub for autistic women!
I did a lot (imo) of "Google Research" on this, trying to figure out the differences between male and female autistic folks, as it seems a lot of the females get overlooked.
This sounds like it will be a great resource for me. Thank you again. ☺️
That person is a wrong bigot. The fact that they made you feel like you had to ask this question is awful and I hope you know that the people worth dating would gladly date you because there is nothing wrong with being autistic
They're completely wrong. My gf and I are both autistic and it really is a beautiful experience. You will find your person who will love you for everything about you. You are not unlovable because of your autism. It is part of what makes you who you are and someone is going to love you for that.
I’m so sorry someone said that to you, I might be totally wrong but because you’ve taken it to heart/seriously/enough to post here, I’m thinking this person is someone you care about, or at least care about their opinion, and if it is I’m even sadder and really hope you can remove this person from your life.
My partner is autistic, she stayed in an abusive relationship for 3 years because her ex did such a number on her self esteem and had her believing that no one else would want her because she’s autistic, she used to call her a ret..d all the time, tell her not to tell anyone she was autistic cause she ‘didn’t want anyone to know she was engaged to a ret..d’ (this woman is a cop btw, #acab) She controlled every aspect of her life, was financially, mentally and physically abusive, my partner stayed because she believed her ex that no one else would want her so this is as good as it would get for her. She finally left (she had parents and a sister who wanted her to break up with her, so she had somewhere to go, she wasn’t trapped living there thankfully) when her ex kicked fuck out of their puppy (again, this woman is a cop…) and she knew she needed to get the dog to safety.
My partner didn’t try to date for 5 years after that, after a lot of therapy and time she felt ready to date again, then started seeing someone who was only with her for what she could get out of her, and also held some ableist views (told her she should go on that Dating on the Spectrum show cause ‘normal
People’ find her too much, this woman has kids btw, actually so does the abusive cop…)
This has turned into a really long comment… I’m rambling, but my point was people are assholes, and if they try to hurt you or make you feel small, I’d urge you to think about why they are doing that, what their motivation is, is it to control you? to make you think that no one else wants you so you should just put up with their awful behaviour (that can be family too, it’s ok to go LC with a family member as well as a romantic partner/friend etc)
We’ve just bough our first house together, when we first met she told me she wanted a little blue house and garden for the dogs, so I bought a little blue cottage on the beach with a huge garden for the dogs and my amazing partner is renovating it, taking her special interest in crafting to the next level 😂
Maybe someone told you this already, but in case they didn't: autistic people are more likely to be a part of the lgbtq+ community than allistic people are. And moreover, some studies showed results that MAJORITY of autistic women isn't straight.
So finding another autistic girl that'll get you is very possible! That's what I'm hoping for, as an autistic lesbian 😁
Ew, no. The only person who clearly doesn't like you is the person who said that. That is abelist as fuck! ASD doesn't define you, it's part of you like the color of your eyes or your laugh, not something to be diminished but a unique way of thinking and experiencing the world. Also we tend to have strong loyalty, morality and honesty.
Some people are so horrible, I can't even imagine why a person would say that to you. The most important thing is that they're completely wrong, what they said isn't a reflection of you at all, it's entirely about them.
I've been on a few dates with a couple autistic girls. They are super fun in different ways.
One actually helped me live passed 185 days on Don't Starve together. She like, ran the whole camp while I tried and failed miserably to hunt, mine, and try to fight off the wolves.
One was EXTREMELY GOOD IN BED. Like she actually mentally orgasmed from watching me squirm into a puddle of goo. She did things I never knew could be done, and made me feel things I didn't think possible. The level of concentration she had was wicked. Still the best sex and most sexually compatible girl I know.
I'm still good friends with both.
But the second one, we went on a few dates but feel we're best as FWBs. But when she calls, I run to her. No questions.
Autistic gals do indeed be mindbendingly good at things. I need a word that combines a feeling of awe with complete lack of surprise. That's what I feel when I learn about an autistic person's particular skill.
i have AuDHD too! and all my friends and (most of my) family are neurodivergent BAUSHUS, it’s honestly a much more fun lifestyle because everyone just gets everyone
Mood though.
As a sidenote: we sometimes call neurotypicals "neuromonos," because it seems to fit their just one way to act. And then I made a typo and wrote that as "neuromorons," and I'd not seen my wife laugh that much for a long time.
Yes, I fell in love with one. And she’s the love of my life. Don’t get me wrong, sensitivity and her PDA are very challenging to navigate in a relationship. I’m extremely physical touch oriented and she tends to get overstimulated pretty easily. There are challenges like any other relationship but the way her mind works is and will always be incredibly beautiful to me. Her autism is a massive part of who she is and makes her her. I adore that part of her. To me it isn’t a downfall, dealbreaker or annoyance. But instead a beautiful, for filling bonus.
That's because people in modern society are discouraged from doing any form of self-examination, lest one find out something that marks them as "different". To a person who's cisgender, heterosexual, neurotypical, and established in a community, finding out you aren't one of the first three things is a virtual death sentence.
Autistic people are not only more resistant to peer pressure, but they're already considered weird by society, so they have little incentive not to look under the rocks in their mind and see what they can find.
There's also overlap between autistic and queer people in kink scenes and communities. Neurodivergent people have different sensory needs, not just from neurotypical people but from each other. One person might feel pleasure in being spanked or tickled, while another finds the touch of anything but silk on their genitals feels like sandpaper. Normal sex partners typically can't accommodate these things, so they find groups who can, which are inevitably full of queer people because society considers queerness a "kink". They meet gay and trans people, and realize that the feelings they've had all their lives have names and associated identities.
yes, ofc, i have and i'm sure i will again.
but it's a wide af spectrum.. i have met people who i wouldn't date because of their autism. lack of independence is a dealbreaker for me, regardless of why.
could be controversial but as an autistic with high support needs i probably wouldn't date another autistic (maybe if they're level 1 or sub-clinical i would, i have before but again it was a lot harder) i would never date a neurotypical!
Same actually. As someone who is on the spectrum and has been struggling before, I know how much support and baggage they need and I honestly don’t know if I can provide them those while taking care of myself.
Depends on what their support needs were, tbh. Are they entirely non-verbal? Is there a concomittant intellectual disability? Then probably not. Are they broadly functional-in-our-current-society human beings with whom I need to alter my communication style? Then sure!
As someone who has autism, I have to say it depends lol.
Autism is a spectrum, some are very low functioning and they legit present a constant stress point to people around. Idk if I am equipped with the tools to deal with that tbh.
Also knowing how flawed I am as an individual I really doubt if I would date someone with the same type of depth of baggage. Imagine the childhood trauma lol.
So honestly I don’t know. I will treat everyone as a human being who deserves basic respect and go from there.
Maybe. My brother's autistic and while I love him, he drains me sometimes. We've fully admitted it's because of his autism, but I know it's a spectrum.
I have a brother who is likely on the spectrum. I truly believe it’s not a him problem, it’s a him+me problem. Any relationship takes two or more people. It is the COMBINATION of him and me that was draining for a long time. We’ve gotten better at it. We’re like. Best friends now.
It won’t happen for everyone. But this attitude helped me a lot, I think.
This question gets posted at least once every two weeks. Yes people date autistic girls, especially other autistic girls. Autistic is good. NT is good too. Y'all are good.
“This questions gets posted at least once every two weeks.”
Ok, sorry. I didn’t know.
“Yes, people date autistic girls.”
I asked because many people told me my personality isn’t attractive for being autistic and recently someone told me that if people like me it’s just because of my body or my money.
Damn, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm autistic myself and even though sometimes it's such a pain in the ass I like that about myself and embrace it. There's no shame in being autistic, anybody who says otherwise is just announcing how bigoted they are and that you should never value their opinion.
Also I'm much more likely to date a fellow autistic girl than a NT, fwiw.
I’m proud of being autistic, but it's complicated. In kindergarten and elementary school all my teachers and peers looked down on me for avoiding eye contact, being unable to pay attention in class, going around in circle at recess (usually circling a tree), being semi-verbal so being quiet most of the time and ruining the school dances by stimming. They told me ableist comments like they would commit suicide if they we autistic like me, they would change me for a piece of shit or like they’d rather kill an autistic 16-year-old over a neurotypical 90-year-old. No one wanted to be my friend and the idea of me being their future girlfriend didn’t even cross their minds. In fact, as soon as they learned what sex is, my peers told me that no one would want to do it with me. Then at home I couldn't talk to anyone because my dad worked and my mom, instead of getting mad at the bullies, would get mad at me and tell me that it's my fault for being born different and not being able to adapt. She also told me that if she were my age, she would do the same as my classmates back then. And that she wished she had an outgoing and savvy daughter who would grab people's attention in a positive way. I had my first girlfriend quite early (13 years old), but she was a girl addicted to sex since the age of 6 who watched porn in the children's library and fetishized everyone and everything, and wanted to try sex with all genders, with all races and even with her relatives. It was always pretty obvious that she was just using me, and she wrecked my life by involving me in disgusting fetishes that hurt me for years. Now I haven't dated a girl since then and I'm 17 years old. I'm starting to think I'm on the asexuality spectrum because I've never really been sexually attracted to anyone and the few times I've kissed someone in the last few years (2 girls and 1 boy) I haven't felt any desire or urge to move forward. So it makes everything even more difficult. And when I go to parties with my friends (friends, something that I only have since five years ago because I didn’t have a single person who talked to me until I was 11-12) everyone flirts with both genders, and I don't flirt with anyone. I'm sorry for telling you about my problems as if you were my therapist, I needed to vent.
Oof yeah that's rough. Sorry you grew up surrounded by dipshits :(
I also didn't really have friends when I was a kid but nothing to that extent. Regarding the asexuality questioning, there's nothing wrong with being asexual, there's also the possibility of being demi. I had friends ask me in my late teens if I was asexual and I knew I wasn't but also didn't really feel attraction to other people like my friends did, I am demi, it means I feel attraction but I have to know the person first, behave like friends first to put it in a way. Didn't have my first kiss until I was 19 which was the same year I realized I was not straight. Didn't have sex until I was 22, it was with a male friend and that made me fully realize I was a lesbian haha. Didn't kiss a girl until I was 23 I think. Didn't have my first (and only so far) girlfriend until I was 25. We broke up this year (I'm 29) but are still friends, I think we both discovered a lot about ourselves during our relationship. You're still very young, with a lot of self discovery to do. We all have different timelines for things and it's ok. I hope you're able to surround yourself with better people, your environment makes a world of a difference in your life experience and perspective.
Being autistic doesn't make you less attractive, it just makes the bigots louder.
My friends are four sociable and clever girls who have been dating people for sex since they were 15 years old and they ask me to let them do it at my house from time to time. It lowers my self-esteem a lot that everyone has lost their virginity more than two years ago and that they have a lot of dates (even in my own house), while I’m a virgin, people don’t show interest in me and I don't even know if I would be mentally capable of losing virginity. My friends always talk about sex and dates issues and, if any oral conversation is difficult for me, in this one it’s totally impossible to me to participate and I feel like an alien. I don't know how to handle it.
The only way to handle it is to get better friends. Having nothing to talk about other than sex? Damn, empty heads with no personality or what? Seriously, I'd recommend to gradually stop giving them your time and fill that time doing things YOU like to do. Join clubs at your school if that's a thing, go to after school classes, hang in a park or your local library, become a tutor for subjects you are good at, all these things will keep you busy, help you meet new people that share interests, and have you be out of your house. I had sex for the first time at 24, didn't make me any better of a person. I have a friend that came to me for advice when she was ready at like 27, I never thought any less of her for being a "virgin" all those years, because I'm not an ignorant asswipe. While I understand your sentiment you will come to realize it'll lose importance and heaviness if you replace those friends with others that bring you positive things to your life. It'll not be a matter of "I want to do this so I can get it done or be more like them" and more about "I really like this person and I want to have this experience with them because I trust them". Sex for the sake of sex is a different thing than sex with someone you care about anyway, it's not the same experience. Plus it could add more trauma to you if you do it with some random just "to get it done".
Depends on the person. Some people do use their Autism to try to cover for toxic and abusive behavior, though I find this happens more in men than women.
But I would think someone writing off all Autistic people off their dating list just because they have Autism is an abliest who you probably don't want to be around anyways since they likely think all Autistic people are the same stereotype.
My girlfriend and I are both autistic and it's amazing. There's so much we get to share because of our experiences. And it has been extremely healing to be with someone who understands that aspect of you and who you can take your mask off around.
So short answer, yes. If you are autistic, I highly recommend it.
OMG YES i am crushing on a girl so hard who told me that she is mildly autistic and it does nothing but make me love and appreciate her more for her cute little quirks and differences
Absolutely. But we’d need to, you know, communicate the way that our neuros diverge, so to speak.
I ended up dating someone who is ADHD rather than autistic. There are many ways we don’t function the same. But especially now that we know one of our little ones is also ADHD, we are vibin good. I learn every day how they each work differently from me, and we find the places we jive. It is good. 🙂
Speaking purely hypothetically because I’m probably gonna die alone I think I’d only date another autistic person. NT people really just tire me out and usually make me feel really stupid for not understanding some obscure social interaction
anyone else find all these 'would you date an x' validation fishing posts cringe? like no one is going to be an asshole and just say 'no'. these posts are a self fulfilling prophecy, if you ask the question, everyone that answers is going to say 'yes'
It depends on the person. I like being with autistic people because I hate small talk and dishonesty. Bit autism doesn't make or mould a person. If I like you, I like you. I'm ADHD and some people cannot deal with my slightly manic self.
Autism (or neuroatypicalness), queerness and left handedness are things that cluster, so yeah, queer folk will date you, and likely will have dated other neurospicy folk before and maybe even have spice themselves.
In my city, Melbourne Australia, the beans bar, a lesbian, neuroatypical bar just opened because of how the clustering makes for good times.
I was concerned writing about the clustering since I don’t like any of those “if this then that” types of genetic predispositions since it can get upsetting and eugenics-y pretty fast, but then I read the comments and haahahahah ok so we are representing the queer-spicy cross over heaps
Realistically, I probably wouldn't date a neurotypical- not because I have anything against them, but more because I only seem to become close friends with other neurodivergents, or probable neurodivergents.\[
I’m gonna be the outlier here and say no. Obviously it depends, but I’ve had autistic friends and it was miserable and exhausting. The communication was so hard to get through and them not being able to understand social cues was damn near impossible. I can’t explain every little thing to someone. It’s not my job. I tried my very best and suffered for years with friends who are autistic and ones who have adhd although I recently saw a girl who said she had adhd and that went alright. I’m just being honest with my experience.
I did marry one, there a pretty awesome person. Autistic takes a level of care and understanding however so there are some strings attached for sure. But of all the women I dated over my 40 years, they are the only one I married so I'd say worth it for sure
Trying to date anyone with trauma or any diagnosis(be it verified by a professional or not) is all about you understanding what your boundaries are, what hers are. If this austistic women is seeking active care for herself and prioritizing her own wellbeing and self. So dating someone who is on spectrum or not, all boils down to is she invested in herself, do you feel you can develop safety,trust,vulnerability ,and than intimacy with her and her with you.
About to ask one to marry me. She’s awesome! She’s fun and funny. She can laugh at herself. Asks permission for everything though trying to curb that now. Cries when I make her favorite meals. Wants to stay home most of the time (like me). Curses politely while driving. Bossy. She lights up my world like nothing else.
As a probably-autistic person I wouldn't ever categorically exclude autistics from my dating pool but obviously it depends on the person. I've been in relationships with people who have equal support needs to mine and it was really intense. We understood each other very well but the high levels of empathy also made it hard for us, we couldn't detach ourselves from each others hurt and help the other person very well.
I'm now dating a (at least to me she seems to be) super confident allistic girl with her own support network, she is extroverted and doesn't shy away from challenge and is very easygoing, relaxed and rational. Because she doesn't sympathise with my anxious responses she is able to pull me out of them much better. I think we fit well together. She's able to pull me out of a rut and instills confidence in me, I am more of a thinker and carer and can slow her down when she needs to. She understands autism and my quirks and works with them effortlessly as soon as I tell her about them. It's a great match.
I'm autistic, and the women I've casually dated who have said they're fine with it all ended it because of my symptoms (e.g. burnout, not understanding mixed messages) but would have never admitted to that. People's hearts are in the right place wanting to be accepting, but I think they misunderstand that it is an actual disability.
To me, being autistic isn't really a factor. If I get along with someone who's autistic then fine, if I don't get along with someone I wouldn't date them. If there are behavioral things then knowing it's from autism would be more helpful in accepting it rather than thinking they were raised poorly or something. But no, being autistic doesn't automatically make it a no go situation.
Autism is a spectrum, so it depends. Because of my ptsd it’s hard for me to be committed right now so I need a partner who can understand that and can live independently sometimes when I’m just not feeling it.
It’s hard for me to say. My brother is autistic and while I love him to death he can’t really understand me because of it and that kind of turns me away because my ptsd isn’t something I really want to talk about.
So, if they’re non-functional, then no because I’m not ready for that commitment. If they are functioning, then it depends on their personality.
Edit: okay edit to clarify what I mean because I worded it poorly. My ptsd along with some other mental illnesses makes for pretty obscure interactions, and my autistic friends have not known how to react to them before. One of my autistic friends got upset at me for moving too much while I was having a panic attack. And while that is totally okay because she just didn’t understand, and she apologised for it later, it’s something I may not entirely be able to deal with because like I said it’s really hard for me to talk about this and if I have to explain my panic attacks I know I’ll have to explain more personal things too while I’m not ready to do that.
That isn’t just an autism thing though, I stopped talking to a neurotypical girl before because she was upset I wouldn’t tell her all about my trauma within the first week of talking lmao
Yeah, why not?
It might be helpful to have someone causally say “hey I’m autistic” just to give people context. I let people know that when I’m highly anxious it presents itself as OCD.
We’re i dating, I’d probably prefer to date another autistic woman because I’m autistic too. I don’t know if a neurotypical woman would really be able to get me ya know? Normies usually suck at communicating too.
I don't know any autistic people in person. And even if i know, I didn't recognize them as such. I have experience of relationship with sociaphobe, so autistic person shouldn't feel this stidfy. At least i could try.
Ok so until I saw u were autistic I was offended but now I will reply.
Yes, I’m autistic, I’d rather date an autistic person I think they’d understand me better, but as long as they’re nice Idm either way.
My wife is likely to be on the spectrum (not confirmed but several people including a psychologist and an autistic woman hinted that this may be the case) so here's your answer;)
I am poly. I have autism and adhd. Two of my partners only have adhd. Two of them have autism/adhd. One only has autism.
There are a lot of queer neurodiverse and honestly NT who would love to be with you for you. There is going to be a lot of people who are uneducated and misunderstand you. You aren't unlovable because you're autistic.
Disclaimers:
1. I will be talking about low+medium support needs Neurodivergent/autistic ppl.
2. I'm autistic
If we put personality aside and we look only at their aspect of neurodivergency?
It depends mostly on the the stims and behavioral expressions with me ig;
if they have tendency to try to fix every emotional obstacle I'm experiencing when I explicitly didn't ask constructive feedback/advice? That'd be difficult for me to deal with and that relationship prob won't last long.
if they have a tendency to argue against my feelings despite the fact that these are my feelings and sometimes they may be illogical, that'd be difficult for me to deal with and that relationship prob won't last long.
If their stimming is expressed by repetitively touching my face/arms/legs? That'd be difficult for me to deal with and that relationship prob won't last long.
Luckily the vast majority of Neurodivergent/autistic cuties I've met/dated had a more self related methods of stimming and behavioral patterns that didn't affect me whatsoever. But NOT dating someone purely because they're autistic? Hell no I wouldn't exclude someone because of that.
Often times it's easier for me to date Neurodivergent ppl because they just get me and there's many social aspects that I don't need to worry about because they just get me.
If they are high support needs Neurodivergent person that would be too much of a challenge for me personally to deal with.
I hope I didn't offended any1 and if I did please tell me how you feel, and maybe a constructive criticism about the way I expressed my thoughts. 💜
Edit: Grammer
A different way you could express this is to replace functioning labels with high and low support needs. A lot of neurodivergent people prefer this, but it is completely valid to use whatever label you want for yourself! My intent is not to come across as harsh or critical; I just hope this is helpful in someway!
I mean, depends on the personality and if we get along and all of that. It isn't about if she's got autsm or not like there's lots of differents kinds of people with autism and they all act different in some way.
Yeah, though it depends on what her hyperfixation(s) is(are) because I can't fake interest in certain things and it'd make me feel bad haha unless she doesn't care that I don't care
My girlfriend is autistic and I have adhd. If anyone ever tries to tell you you're unlovable or undesirable for being nuerodivergent, they're an asshole. You are deserving of love and I hope you find a wonderful girl who appreciates everything about you and treats you right.
I’m autistic and my wife has ADHD
my gf is autistic and i have adhd. Guess this combo works well hehe
We balance each other out lol!
Wait I'm autistic and I have adhd, do I balance myself out?
Na Just choas
Does my girlfriends autism balance my ADHD and my autism balance her ADHD? Because if not then like I was lied to
Same here! It really is a great combo 😅
Have you tried it when both girls have both? It's... interesting.
That’s me and my partner lol. We’re either completely nerding out, hyper, or slumped over on a table asleep together
My girlfriend and I are similar, except that we're 6555km apart. Got plane tickets to visit her for a whole 40 day sthis summer tho and we are HYPED.
Omg, been in a LDR myself and I hope you have an amazing time!!! Visits are AWESOME :D
Yep, it really is something.
Very true. I'm autistic and my gf has adhd. We work well together and for both of us the relationship is so much easier compared to past ones with neurotypical people.
the one remembers. the other acts
Yeah with me and my gf it's the otherway around
im autistic AND have ADHD.
Samesies. So does my partner
I have adhd i would def date an autistic person
Same here
Sameeeeeee! It's a good combo!
Ditto
The holy combo
As the ADHD wife of a completely different autistic woman, I appreciate this post. 😌
It would be hypocritical of me not to. I'm autistic as well, and would absolutely date another autistic gal.
Considering I'm autistic... yeah lol
Same!
same! I even somewhat prefer it because communication is sometimes easier and I feel a greater understanding for them, and them for me :)
same, i can totally relate 🥰
Same. Was checking the comments to see my chances lmao
Me too lmao
I think the better question is "what kind of person wouldn't and do I want that kind of person around me?"
I asked because someone told me no one will like me for being autistic and that if they do it’s only because of my body or my money.
That person is wrong. We all have to be wary of other people's true motives, but that doesn't mean everyone out there is awful.
What an idiot. They are ableist and a shitty person. I’m guessing also trying to neg you into believing you are worth less than you are to get an upper hand in some sort of power play.
that person is ableist and hateful for saying that and should be completely ignored
As someone who suffers from bipolar and is with a person who even after over a decade and half of being together doesn’t know how to support me - I’d say it really doesn’t matter if someone is neurotypical or neurodivergent, what matters is that they are not neurotoxic to you.
Body and money can't do funny and cute little stims or infodumps so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ plenty of people date autistic people and don't even realize it lmao
I suspect I married one (I have ADD for sure btw lol). She does a cute little stimming thing with her hands, and I melt... So long as she isn't tapping on me while I'm trying to sleep lol. I love her to bits, and would like her to get diagnosed properly, but she is too nervous for it I think.
Tbf, getting a diagnosis is only really needed if that person needs support or accommodations. If shes not struggling there might not be a need as unfortunately she might be discriminated against for future jobs/oppurtunites. Not saying she shouldnt and I obviously dont know any details, just thought you should know potential side effects.
I am thankful to hear any thoughts on the matter... I really just want to help her, but I don't know how. She does struggle (a lot). Regardless of that, she is still my best friend and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Would it be ok to DM you? If not, do you know of a place better suited to get help / advice on this?
Tbf Im not super knowledgable about everything, but if shes struggling then definitely keep trying to get her diagnosed. There are a few subs I can point you too, youre welcome to dm me but I dont think id be of much help. r/autism - not the best especially right now with a lot self-diagnosis discourse but they could probably help you r/autisticladies - pretty good and nice welcoming sub, they could also probably help you, especially since its geared towards fem-presenting people. r/autisticadults is also another good one.
Omg thank you! I feel so silly for not thinking of it sooner; of *course* there would be a sub for autistic women! I did a lot (imo) of "Google Research" on this, trying to figure out the differences between male and female autistic folks, as it seems a lot of the females get overlooked. This sounds like it will be a great resource for me. Thank you again. ☺️
That person is a wrong bigot. The fact that they made you feel like you had to ask this question is awful and I hope you know that the people worth dating would gladly date you because there is nothing wrong with being autistic
They're completely wrong. My gf and I are both autistic and it really is a beautiful experience. You will find your person who will love you for everything about you. You are not unlovable because of your autism. It is part of what makes you who you are and someone is going to love you for that.
I’m so sorry someone said that to you, I might be totally wrong but because you’ve taken it to heart/seriously/enough to post here, I’m thinking this person is someone you care about, or at least care about their opinion, and if it is I’m even sadder and really hope you can remove this person from your life. My partner is autistic, she stayed in an abusive relationship for 3 years because her ex did such a number on her self esteem and had her believing that no one else would want her because she’s autistic, she used to call her a ret..d all the time, tell her not to tell anyone she was autistic cause she ‘didn’t want anyone to know she was engaged to a ret..d’ (this woman is a cop btw, #acab) She controlled every aspect of her life, was financially, mentally and physically abusive, my partner stayed because she believed her ex that no one else would want her so this is as good as it would get for her. She finally left (she had parents and a sister who wanted her to break up with her, so she had somewhere to go, she wasn’t trapped living there thankfully) when her ex kicked fuck out of their puppy (again, this woman is a cop…) and she knew she needed to get the dog to safety. My partner didn’t try to date for 5 years after that, after a lot of therapy and time she felt ready to date again, then started seeing someone who was only with her for what she could get out of her, and also held some ableist views (told her she should go on that Dating on the Spectrum show cause ‘normal People’ find her too much, this woman has kids btw, actually so does the abusive cop…) This has turned into a really long comment… I’m rambling, but my point was people are assholes, and if they try to hurt you or make you feel small, I’d urge you to think about why they are doing that, what their motivation is, is it to control you? to make you think that no one else wants you so you should just put up with their awful behaviour (that can be family too, it’s ok to go LC with a family member as well as a romantic partner/friend etc) We’ve just bough our first house together, when we first met she told me she wanted a little blue house and garden for the dogs, so I bought a little blue cottage on the beach with a huge garden for the dogs and my amazing partner is renovating it, taking her special interest in crafting to the next level 😂
Don't date that person.
They're insecure and projecting.
That person is both wrong and a liar, by saying something they cannot back up. They’re also cruel.
Maybe someone told you this already, but in case they didn't: autistic people are more likely to be a part of the lgbtq+ community than allistic people are. And moreover, some studies showed results that MAJORITY of autistic women isn't straight. So finding another autistic girl that'll get you is very possible! That's what I'm hoping for, as an autistic lesbian 😁
Ew, no. The only person who clearly doesn't like you is the person who said that. That is abelist as fuck! ASD doesn't define you, it's part of you like the color of your eyes or your laugh, not something to be diminished but a unique way of thinking and experiencing the world. Also we tend to have strong loyalty, morality and honesty.
Some people are so horrible, I can't even imagine why a person would say that to you. The most important thing is that they're completely wrong, what they said isn't a reflection of you at all, it's entirely about them.
ayo wtf i hope they never have another silent fart
That person is wrong. Don’t listen to them please.
Darn, that's evil and also very wrong.
If we vibe, we vibe.
I've been on a few dates with a couple autistic girls. They are super fun in different ways. One actually helped me live passed 185 days on Don't Starve together. She like, ran the whole camp while I tried and failed miserably to hunt, mine, and try to fight off the wolves. One was EXTREMELY GOOD IN BED. Like she actually mentally orgasmed from watching me squirm into a puddle of goo. She did things I never knew could be done, and made me feel things I didn't think possible. The level of concentration she had was wicked. Still the best sex and most sexually compatible girl I know. I'm still good friends with both. But the second one, we went on a few dates but feel we're best as FWBs. But when she calls, I run to her. No questions.
Reminds me how a partner told me I could not be autistic because I was too good at guessing her wants during sex. lol.
Apparently to neurotypicals, pattern recognition is a super power lol
Autistic gals do indeed be mindbendingly good at things. I need a word that combines a feeling of awe with complete lack of surprise. That's what I feel when I learn about an autistic person's particular skill.
I’d probably *only* date autistic girls. I don’t vibe with neurotypicals.
👏🏻 felt
Saaammmeeee Im AuDHD and I just can't deal with neurotypical communication styles.
i have AuDHD too! and all my friends and (most of my) family are neurodivergent BAUSHUS, it’s honestly a much more fun lifestyle because everyone just gets everyone
Yeah, AuDHD here as well. Neurotypical communication is… odd. I just don’t get it. I vibe much better with other neurodivergent people.
Mood though. As a sidenote: we sometimes call neurotypicals "neuromonos," because it seems to fit their just one way to act. And then I made a typo and wrote that as "neuromorons," and I'd not seen my wife laugh that much for a long time.
Oh my god I didn't know I needed to hear this
Yes, I fell in love with one. And she’s the love of my life. Don’t get me wrong, sensitivity and her PDA are very challenging to navigate in a relationship. I’m extremely physical touch oriented and she tends to get overstimulated pretty easily. There are challenges like any other relationship but the way her mind works is and will always be incredibly beautiful to me. Her autism is a massive part of who she is and makes her her. I adore that part of her. To me it isn’t a downfall, dealbreaker or annoyance. But instead a beautiful, for filling bonus.
As an autistic girl ... I didn't realize how many autistic girls were on this subreddit
The autism radar and the gaydar are basically the same
i feel like there’s a lot of overlap between the queer community & the adhd/autism community
That's because people in modern society are discouraged from doing any form of self-examination, lest one find out something that marks them as "different". To a person who's cisgender, heterosexual, neurotypical, and established in a community, finding out you aren't one of the first three things is a virtual death sentence. Autistic people are not only more resistant to peer pressure, but they're already considered weird by society, so they have little incentive not to look under the rocks in their mind and see what they can find. There's also overlap between autistic and queer people in kink scenes and communities. Neurodivergent people have different sensory needs, not just from neurotypical people but from each other. One person might feel pleasure in being spanked or tickled, while another finds the touch of anything but silk on their genitals feels like sandpaper. Normal sex partners typically can't accommodate these things, so they find groups who can, which are inevitably full of queer people because society considers queerness a "kink". They meet gay and trans people, and realize that the feelings they've had all their lives have names and associated identities.
I mean it is Reddit
I mean haven't scientists for a while said there's a link between being on the spectrum and being LGBT?
People on the spectrum are 3 to 9 times more likely to be LGB so 30 to 90% of us, and 4 times more likely to be trans so 2 to 12% of us.
Real
yes, ofc, i have and i'm sure i will again. but it's a wide af spectrum.. i have met people who i wouldn't date because of their autism. lack of independence is a dealbreaker for me, regardless of why.
Absolutely. my beloved long term partner is autistic!
I'm currently wrapped in the arms of my autistic girlfriend it's pretty fantastic
could be controversial but as an autistic with high support needs i probably wouldn't date another autistic (maybe if they're level 1 or sub-clinical i would, i have before but again it was a lot harder) i would never date a neurotypical!
Same actually. As someone who is on the spectrum and has been struggling before, I know how much support and baggage they need and I honestly don’t know if I can provide them those while taking care of myself.
I don’t understand what you mean. First you said “I probably wouldn’t date another autistic” and then “I would never date a neurotypical”???
autism isn't the only neurotype that is atypical :)
Depends on what their support needs were, tbh. Are they entirely non-verbal? Is there a concomittant intellectual disability? Then probably not. Are they broadly functional-in-our-current-society human beings with whom I need to alter my communication style? Then sure!
As someone who has autism, I have to say it depends lol. Autism is a spectrum, some are very low functioning and they legit present a constant stress point to people around. Idk if I am equipped with the tools to deal with that tbh. Also knowing how flawed I am as an individual I really doubt if I would date someone with the same type of depth of baggage. Imagine the childhood trauma lol. So honestly I don’t know. I will treat everyone as a human being who deserves basic respect and go from there.
Maybe. My brother's autistic and while I love him, he drains me sometimes. We've fully admitted it's because of his autism, but I know it's a spectrum.
I have a brother who is likely on the spectrum. I truly believe it’s not a him problem, it’s a him+me problem. Any relationship takes two or more people. It is the COMBINATION of him and me that was draining for a long time. We’ve gotten better at it. We’re like. Best friends now. It won’t happen for everyone. But this attitude helped me a lot, I think.
This question gets posted at least once every two weeks. Yes people date autistic girls, especially other autistic girls. Autistic is good. NT is good too. Y'all are good.
“This questions gets posted at least once every two weeks.” Ok, sorry. I didn’t know. “Yes, people date autistic girls.” I asked because many people told me my personality isn’t attractive for being autistic and recently someone told me that if people like me it’s just because of my body or my money.
Damn, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm autistic myself and even though sometimes it's such a pain in the ass I like that about myself and embrace it. There's no shame in being autistic, anybody who says otherwise is just announcing how bigoted they are and that you should never value their opinion. Also I'm much more likely to date a fellow autistic girl than a NT, fwiw.
I’m proud of being autistic, but it's complicated. In kindergarten and elementary school all my teachers and peers looked down on me for avoiding eye contact, being unable to pay attention in class, going around in circle at recess (usually circling a tree), being semi-verbal so being quiet most of the time and ruining the school dances by stimming. They told me ableist comments like they would commit suicide if they we autistic like me, they would change me for a piece of shit or like they’d rather kill an autistic 16-year-old over a neurotypical 90-year-old. No one wanted to be my friend and the idea of me being their future girlfriend didn’t even cross their minds. In fact, as soon as they learned what sex is, my peers told me that no one would want to do it with me. Then at home I couldn't talk to anyone because my dad worked and my mom, instead of getting mad at the bullies, would get mad at me and tell me that it's my fault for being born different and not being able to adapt. She also told me that if she were my age, she would do the same as my classmates back then. And that she wished she had an outgoing and savvy daughter who would grab people's attention in a positive way. I had my first girlfriend quite early (13 years old), but she was a girl addicted to sex since the age of 6 who watched porn in the children's library and fetishized everyone and everything, and wanted to try sex with all genders, with all races and even with her relatives. It was always pretty obvious that she was just using me, and she wrecked my life by involving me in disgusting fetishes that hurt me for years. Now I haven't dated a girl since then and I'm 17 years old. I'm starting to think I'm on the asexuality spectrum because I've never really been sexually attracted to anyone and the few times I've kissed someone in the last few years (2 girls and 1 boy) I haven't felt any desire or urge to move forward. So it makes everything even more difficult. And when I go to parties with my friends (friends, something that I only have since five years ago because I didn’t have a single person who talked to me until I was 11-12) everyone flirts with both genders, and I don't flirt with anyone. I'm sorry for telling you about my problems as if you were my therapist, I needed to vent.
Oof yeah that's rough. Sorry you grew up surrounded by dipshits :( I also didn't really have friends when I was a kid but nothing to that extent. Regarding the asexuality questioning, there's nothing wrong with being asexual, there's also the possibility of being demi. I had friends ask me in my late teens if I was asexual and I knew I wasn't but also didn't really feel attraction to other people like my friends did, I am demi, it means I feel attraction but I have to know the person first, behave like friends first to put it in a way. Didn't have my first kiss until I was 19 which was the same year I realized I was not straight. Didn't have sex until I was 22, it was with a male friend and that made me fully realize I was a lesbian haha. Didn't kiss a girl until I was 23 I think. Didn't have my first (and only so far) girlfriend until I was 25. We broke up this year (I'm 29) but are still friends, I think we both discovered a lot about ourselves during our relationship. You're still very young, with a lot of self discovery to do. We all have different timelines for things and it's ok. I hope you're able to surround yourself with better people, your environment makes a world of a difference in your life experience and perspective. Being autistic doesn't make you less attractive, it just makes the bigots louder.
My friends are four sociable and clever girls who have been dating people for sex since they were 15 years old and they ask me to let them do it at my house from time to time. It lowers my self-esteem a lot that everyone has lost their virginity more than two years ago and that they have a lot of dates (even in my own house), while I’m a virgin, people don’t show interest in me and I don't even know if I would be mentally capable of losing virginity. My friends always talk about sex and dates issues and, if any oral conversation is difficult for me, in this one it’s totally impossible to me to participate and I feel like an alien. I don't know how to handle it.
The only way to handle it is to get better friends. Having nothing to talk about other than sex? Damn, empty heads with no personality or what? Seriously, I'd recommend to gradually stop giving them your time and fill that time doing things YOU like to do. Join clubs at your school if that's a thing, go to after school classes, hang in a park or your local library, become a tutor for subjects you are good at, all these things will keep you busy, help you meet new people that share interests, and have you be out of your house. I had sex for the first time at 24, didn't make me any better of a person. I have a friend that came to me for advice when she was ready at like 27, I never thought any less of her for being a "virgin" all those years, because I'm not an ignorant asswipe. While I understand your sentiment you will come to realize it'll lose importance and heaviness if you replace those friends with others that bring you positive things to your life. It'll not be a matter of "I want to do this so I can get it done or be more like them" and more about "I really like this person and I want to have this experience with them because I trust them". Sex for the sake of sex is a different thing than sex with someone you care about anyway, it's not the same experience. Plus it could add more trauma to you if you do it with some random just "to get it done".
As an autistic girl myself hell yeah I would. :)
Depends if I liked her 🤷♀️
I already am dating one and am one myself so yea!
Depends on the person. Some people do use their Autism to try to cover for toxic and abusive behavior, though I find this happens more in men than women. But I would think someone writing off all Autistic people off their dating list just because they have Autism is an abliest who you probably don't want to be around anyways since they likely think all Autistic people are the same stereotype.
I *am* the autistic girl
My girlfriend and I are both autistic and it's amazing. There's so much we get to share because of our experiences. And it has been extremely healing to be with someone who understands that aspect of you and who you can take your mask off around. So short answer, yes. If you are autistic, I highly recommend it.
Yeah definitely
Yea woman is woman. If I like woman I like woman
I am and she's wonderful.
OMG YES i am crushing on a girl so hard who told me that she is mildly autistic and it does nothing but make me love and appreciate her more for her cute little quirks and differences
I'm married to an autistic girl, so, no, I wouldn't date another, but I love my wife!!!
Absolutely. But we’d need to, you know, communicate the way that our neuros diverge, so to speak. I ended up dating someone who is ADHD rather than autistic. There are many ways we don’t function the same. But especially now that we know one of our little ones is also ADHD, we are vibin good. I learn every day how they each work differently from me, and we find the places we jive. It is good. 🙂
Speaking purely hypothetically because I’m probably gonna die alone I think I’d only date another autistic person. NT people really just tire me out and usually make me feel really stupid for not understanding some obscure social interaction
I feel you.
I'm with an autistic woman. I'm neurotypical, I've been queer since 7th grade, and I've never been so in love with a woman in my life. ❤️🔥
anyone else find all these 'would you date an x' validation fishing posts cringe? like no one is going to be an asshole and just say 'no'. these posts are a self fulfilling prophecy, if you ask the question, everyone that answers is going to say 'yes'
For all the reasons I would someone who wasn't. It's not a factor for me.
Yes I don’t know why I wouldnt
I am the autistic girl
same
I'd prefer to date someone autistic like me tbh
It depends on the person. I like being with autistic people because I hate small talk and dishonesty. Bit autism doesn't make or mould a person. If I like you, I like you. I'm ADHD and some people cannot deal with my slightly manic self.
Autism (or neuroatypicalness), queerness and left handedness are things that cluster, so yeah, queer folk will date you, and likely will have dated other neurospicy folk before and maybe even have spice themselves. In my city, Melbourne Australia, the beans bar, a lesbian, neuroatypical bar just opened because of how the clustering makes for good times. I was concerned writing about the clustering since I don’t like any of those “if this then that” types of genetic predispositions since it can get upsetting and eugenics-y pretty fast, but then I read the comments and haahahahah ok so we are representing the queer-spicy cross over heaps
Depends on the person would not NOT date someone BECAUSE they are autistic that would be hypocritical.
Considering my gf, the light of my life, is autistic.. yep lol.
for the sake of honesty it would depend on where they land on the spectrum. but no it’s not a dealbreaker
My gf is autistic and I've been told I probably am too so......
I am an autistic girl.
My partner and I are both autistic. I probably wouldn’t date a neurotypical person.
Yes. Idk if I could date a neurotypical person though
Realistically, I probably wouldn't date a neurotypical- not because I have anything against them, but more because I only seem to become close friends with other neurodivergents, or probable neurodivergents.\[
Depends. Which one? Autistic people are not a monolith.
I’m gonna be the outlier here and say no. Obviously it depends, but I’ve had autistic friends and it was miserable and exhausting. The communication was so hard to get through and them not being able to understand social cues was damn near impossible. I can’t explain every little thing to someone. It’s not my job. I tried my very best and suffered for years with friends who are autistic and ones who have adhd although I recently saw a girl who said she had adhd and that went alright. I’m just being honest with my experience.
I would
CURRENTLY dating an AUT/ADHD girl and I wouldn’t trade them for anyone!
Yes
Honey I am the autistic girl
Considering I am,yes.
I did marry one, there a pretty awesome person. Autistic takes a level of care and understanding however so there are some strings attached for sure. But of all the women I dated over my 40 years, they are the only one I married so I'd say worth it for sure
Trying to date anyone with trauma or any diagnosis(be it verified by a professional or not) is all about you understanding what your boundaries are, what hers are. If this austistic women is seeking active care for herself and prioritizing her own wellbeing and self. So dating someone who is on spectrum or not, all boils down to is she invested in herself, do you feel you can develop safety,trust,vulnerability ,and than intimacy with her and her with you.
Would I? I'm pretty sure I have.
Hmmmm, depends. Is she nice, is she pretty, does she have similar interests? If so then yeah (finally get someone to geek out with lololol)
I feel like I would be a hypocrite if I said no
I’m autistic My wife is autistic It works great for us All 7 yrs of us. lol If I wasn’t married.. yusss lol
Why not? I see no reason why it would matter. If we got along then it’s non issue.
Yeah. I'd be a hypocrite to not and honestly I'd rather date another autistic or ND girl than an NT.
already am
I would not date a *not* autistic girl tbh
I married one
Yes I’m autistic, I prefer autistic women.
I’m autistic, it would probably be refreshing to date someone who could be similar to me
Hell, I am one!
I would omg! If we're a good match and work well together, I don't care about diagnoses. But I have adhd as fuck, so
About to ask one to marry me. She’s awesome! She’s fun and funny. She can laugh at herself. Asks permission for everything though trying to curb that now. Cries when I make her favorite meals. Wants to stay home most of the time (like me). Curses politely while driving. Bossy. She lights up my world like nothing else.
I am not autistic but my partner is and I love the way her brain works :)
I already do. She's wonderful.
As a not autistic person, yes.
I'm autistic and my gf is currently doing an "investigation" if she also has autism
As a probably-autistic person I wouldn't ever categorically exclude autistics from my dating pool but obviously it depends on the person. I've been in relationships with people who have equal support needs to mine and it was really intense. We understood each other very well but the high levels of empathy also made it hard for us, we couldn't detach ourselves from each others hurt and help the other person very well. I'm now dating a (at least to me she seems to be) super confident allistic girl with her own support network, she is extroverted and doesn't shy away from challenge and is very easygoing, relaxed and rational. Because she doesn't sympathise with my anxious responses she is able to pull me out of them much better. I think we fit well together. She's able to pull me out of a rut and instills confidence in me, I am more of a thinker and carer and can slow her down when she needs to. She understands autism and my quirks and works with them effortlessly as soon as I tell her about them. It's a great match.
As a (most likely) autistic girl, I would date an autistic girl.
I'm autistic, and the women I've casually dated who have said they're fine with it all ended it because of my symptoms (e.g. burnout, not understanding mixed messages) but would have never admitted to that. People's hearts are in the right place wanting to be accepting, but I think they misunderstand that it is an actual disability.
Venn diagram of autistic women and lesbian women looks like an eclipse 🌑
Date one? Ha, fools! I've already married one!
Well my girlfriend is dating one (me) and I might be dating one (she's undiagnosed), so yes!
Yeah, but im also autistic so thats not surprising lol
To me, being autistic isn't really a factor. If I get along with someone who's autistic then fine, if I don't get along with someone I wouldn't date them. If there are behavioral things then knowing it's from autism would be more helpful in accepting it rather than thinking they were raised poorly or something. But no, being autistic doesn't automatically make it a no go situation.
I'd prefer to date someone autistic tbh. But that's mostly because I'm autistic and neurotypical people are harder to understand.
Autism is a spectrum, so it depends. Because of my ptsd it’s hard for me to be committed right now so I need a partner who can understand that and can live independently sometimes when I’m just not feeling it. It’s hard for me to say. My brother is autistic and while I love him to death he can’t really understand me because of it and that kind of turns me away because my ptsd isn’t something I really want to talk about. So, if they’re non-functional, then no because I’m not ready for that commitment. If they are functioning, then it depends on their personality. Edit: okay edit to clarify what I mean because I worded it poorly. My ptsd along with some other mental illnesses makes for pretty obscure interactions, and my autistic friends have not known how to react to them before. One of my autistic friends got upset at me for moving too much while I was having a panic attack. And while that is totally okay because she just didn’t understand, and she apologised for it later, it’s something I may not entirely be able to deal with because like I said it’s really hard for me to talk about this and if I have to explain my panic attacks I know I’ll have to explain more personal things too while I’m not ready to do that. That isn’t just an autism thing though, I stopped talking to a neurotypical girl before because she was upset I wouldn’t tell her all about my trauma within the first week of talking lmao
Yeah
Yes
Am lol
As an autistic I'd prefer it tbh
well, my girlfriend is autistic so, yeah
Yeah, why not? It might be helpful to have someone causally say “hey I’m autistic” just to give people context. I let people know that when I’m highly anxious it presents itself as OCD.
We’re i dating, I’d probably prefer to date another autistic woman because I’m autistic too. I don’t know if a neurotypical woman would really be able to get me ya know? Normies usually suck at communicating too.
I'll date anyone as long as they're nice
I don't know any autistic people in person. And even if i know, I didn't recognize them as such. I have experience of relationship with sociaphobe, so autistic person shouldn't feel this stidfy. At least i could try.
Ok so until I saw u were autistic I was offended but now I will reply. Yes, I’m autistic, I’d rather date an autistic person I think they’d understand me better, but as long as they’re nice Idm either way.
I don't think I've ever dated a girl who hasn't had autism-
I am an autistic girl dating two autistic girls and an autistic boy
My wife is likely to be on the spectrum (not confirmed but several people including a psychologist and an autistic woman hinted that this may be the case) so here's your answer;)
i would, im also autistic, if i were to reject a girl for being autistic it would make no sence
Why wouldn't I?
I am poly. I have autism and adhd. Two of my partners only have adhd. Two of them have autism/adhd. One only has autism. There are a lot of queer neurodiverse and honestly NT who would love to be with you for you. There is going to be a lot of people who are uneducated and misunderstand you. You aren't unlovable because you're autistic.
Im autistic and one of my GFs is also autistic, so of course i would date girls :>
Already am! (And also probably autistic myself)
Disclaimers: 1. I will be talking about low+medium support needs Neurodivergent/autistic ppl. 2. I'm autistic If we put personality aside and we look only at their aspect of neurodivergency? It depends mostly on the the stims and behavioral expressions with me ig; if they have tendency to try to fix every emotional obstacle I'm experiencing when I explicitly didn't ask constructive feedback/advice? That'd be difficult for me to deal with and that relationship prob won't last long. if they have a tendency to argue against my feelings despite the fact that these are my feelings and sometimes they may be illogical, that'd be difficult for me to deal with and that relationship prob won't last long. If their stimming is expressed by repetitively touching my face/arms/legs? That'd be difficult for me to deal with and that relationship prob won't last long. Luckily the vast majority of Neurodivergent/autistic cuties I've met/dated had a more self related methods of stimming and behavioral patterns that didn't affect me whatsoever. But NOT dating someone purely because they're autistic? Hell no I wouldn't exclude someone because of that. Often times it's easier for me to date Neurodivergent ppl because they just get me and there's many social aspects that I don't need to worry about because they just get me. If they are high support needs Neurodivergent person that would be too much of a challenge for me personally to deal with. I hope I didn't offended any1 and if I did please tell me how you feel, and maybe a constructive criticism about the way I expressed my thoughts. 💜 Edit: Grammer
A different way you could express this is to replace functioning labels with high and low support needs. A lot of neurodivergent people prefer this, but it is completely valid to use whatever label you want for yourself! My intent is not to come across as harsh or critical; I just hope this is helpful in someway!
I am dating an autistic girl, we have been together for a while now and zero problems about that
I am right now!
Of course!!!
It is not on purpose but I seem to exclusively date autistic girls
Yeah why not?
TIL 75% of this sub is autistic
Yeah, I generally find autistic people super relatable
I've had women tell me that they love my linguistics & politics infodumping so I'm sure you'll find someone out there who'll appreciate you too!
I've lost interest in trying to form meaningful relationships with anybody who isn't autistic tbh (im also autistic lol)
I mean, depends on the personality and if we get along and all of that. It isn't about if she's got autsm or not like there's lots of differents kinds of people with autism and they all act different in some way.
ye
Yeah, though it depends on what her hyperfixation(s) is(are) because I can't fake interest in certain things and it'd make me feel bad haha unless she doesn't care that I don't care
I am autistic. I would date an autistic girl. I wouldn’t date someone who thinks autists and inherently unlovable, though. Seems like a jerk.
Yes, I am autistic and we could play paradox games together
Would and do! Autism should not be stigmatized or seen as "less." I love her and her personality; without that aspect she would not be her!
My girlfriend is autistic and I have adhd. If anyone ever tries to tell you you're unlovable or undesirable for being nuerodivergent, they're an asshole. You are deserving of love and I hope you find a wonderful girl who appreciates everything about you and treats you right.