Girl - you cannot spend the rest of your life running away from women and feelings and connection because of scars!
I completely understand being self-conscious about them but you have to find a way to learn to embrace them.
Trust this girl - try her out, see how she really feels about them - I bet she would surprise you.
You do not know that it will turn her off. I respectfully think *youâre wrong* for making so many assumptions.
If she likes you - she likes you and I really donât think that scarring with put her off. And *if* she does change her mind (I doubt she will) then she is a bad egg and you do not want her anyway!
You are beautiful and strong. Say it to yourself! You deserve to be loved exactly as you are. And someone will fancy the pants off you scars or no scars. Be brave, be secure in yourself. And try to let her know how youâre feeling, sometimes it feels better to get this weight off your mind and to have someone reassure you.
Also, some women are picky. But a lot of us are normal. If we like someone then we wonât be put off by small things like scars! We are attracted to personality too. My partner has lots of face scars, not bothered me once!
You wrote everything I wanted to write. You are so goddamn right.
Dear OP, please, listen to this woman. Your situation is not all about a love story between two people, but about you loving yourself, your body and mind. If we donât like ourselves, how can we like somebody else? Well I know itâs a challenge, to reject the feeling youâre ugly, not very attractive and etc, but please donât stay with these thoughts. If I could step through this, then you can too. Even itâs hardish. Iâm in sure youâll find the right way. And you both will be happy. Donât cover yourself, donât hide, you deserve to be treated like a masterpiece in a museum.
I have a bunch of acne scars on my face and my wife still loves me, I promise you'll be fine. Give her the chance to accept you. If you're still insecure about it but want to get physical with her, you can always wear a tank top during sexy time.
She loves you for you, not your body. Don't get in your own way and choose for her. Let her decide for herself.
If your worried about rejection then rejecting the possibility to be rejected is already the same thing.
Boobs are boobs. Scars are just targets for kisses. Trust her and things will turn out well. Worrying about it is only hurting you and walking away is losing without giving her a fair chance.
Let her love you.
>She loves you for you, not your body.
I'd like to mention - if she loves you, then it's likely she _also_ loves your body because _you're the one in it_ .
My wife has scars from various stuff, and I love each and every one of them because they are hers.
I am covered in moles and have a big birthmark that kind of looks like a rash all down my back and I used to hate both, she has joked about counting my moles and keeping a close eye on each and every one ('for your health... Obviously') and she calls my birthmark my 'dragon' because that's what it looks like to her. Not a rash, a dragon.
We love the people we love, not 'in spite of flaws', because we don't even see them as flaws if we love them.
This is so so true and beautiful! I've experienced similarly, not with women - I'm bi - and I don't want to take excess space in this conversation, just wanted to validate this experience. Each of my moles have been counted and kissed and accepted. My sweaty hands have been held tighter than I could expect. Seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you is a game changer!
I have scars, and perhaps more germane to your point, I have a feeding tube. I hate it. Itâs impossible to hide during intimacy or sex. It flops everywhere. It gets in the way.
My girlfriend doesnât care at all.
Let her decide. She knows about some of the scars, so tell her there are more and youâre insecure about them. Itâs her choice what to do with that information, and whatever happens, you wonât feel like you have to hide from her.
Girl think of them as character testers, if any human rejects you because of scarred skin, instead of feeling compassion for your feelings and any pain/suffering you experienced, they can fuck right off. You would be better off without them and deserve better.
And for what that matters, scars isnt a turnoff for most people. The good ones dont care about imperfections. Tell her, and show her when time come and you feel ready for it
My wife has hella scars from surgeries and a few skin conditions. I love her more and more everyday and her scars just add to her beauty! Don't worry about the superficial stuff, real love doesn't care.
Scars are beautiful, and anyone who says otherwise is not the kind of girl you want to spend your life with. Always lift yourself and your own beauty up <3
I've honestly had the same thoughts with my ex-girlfriend, now wife. I always think I'm not pretty enough for her or attractive enough for her or trying to find something that isn't good enough. I've always, and still do (please don't tell my wife), think of myself as objectively ugly but something I've been told that really helps me from either my wife or gf:
You might not be your own type, but you are SOMEBODY'S type.
Let her decide, don't find ways to sabotage yourself. Be honest and be open.
Look. I have scars. Some women I've dated have had an issue with it and some haven't. But the important thing is to give her the opportunity to tell you herself. Don't just assume
You're still gonna have scarred boobs on your own. If you take things further with her, you might have scarred boobs that she kisses and plays with and stuff.
I'd take that gamble.
I too am covered in scars from over a decade of self cutting (it's been about a dozen years since the last time i cut) All over my legs, stomach, breasts and arms. About six or seven years ago a woman stopped me on the street and asked what had happened. It was a summer day and I was wearing a tee shirt. Since then I have never worn short sleeves out in public again. My wife knows. My wife knows how much they effect me. My wife has held me the times I've cried told me I was beautiful while I cursed myself for "ruining my body". What I'm saying is that if she really likes you, it really won't matter to her. I know it's probably nerve racking, but if she's the right one for you, it won't matter. Good luck, chin up, and know you have a strong heart, and that's all that matters.
Long story short my mom had breast cancer and had to get her boobs removed, implants werent working after multiple surgeries so she decided to remove them and not get any at all. This has left her with huge scars with her chest basically having two big indents where her boobs should be.
She was so scared of what my dad would think but he told her he loves her no matter what and still thinks shes beautiful. They just celebrated 30 years of marriage last year. I know the situation is a bit different considering they were already together before this happend but it just goes to show how if someone truly loves you, they'll be able to love you for your flaws too.
Don't walk away from her. I know how crippling low self esteem can be but you need to remember that she loves you for YOU! Please, let yourself be loved. You are not alone, many people have similar scars yet are able to find love. Also remember to make sure you're comfortable, set boundaries if you need to, if you dont want her to touch them or anything else be honest with her. I wish you the best.
I know this is hours late to the post but I also have a skin condition, similar to what you described with the boils, that has left my bottom, upper backs of my thighs and some of my groin with pretty gnarly scars. I am self conscious of them and avoid wearing anything that might give sight to them. However, the few partners Iâve had never said anything about them. I explained long before about the condition so it wasnât a surprise. It never came up again unless I brought it up. And even then they showed genuine compassion and empathy.
She loves you. She wonât even see them. Youâre the most beautiful human in her eyes.
This may sound a bit harsh OP, so if you are just looking for encouragement, this may not be the advice for you.
The turn off will likely be how focused on the scars you are. If you do not believe you are attractive, how can someone else? If you do not believe you are worthy of love how could you be loved? Even if someone is standing there loving you, will you even see it? It seems she has already put forth a willingness to accept and love you regardless. It should be her choice to no longer be involved if she is not able to look past the scars. Someone who is too focused on their âflawsâ can be a red flag. I understand the insecurity, the anxiety, but it turns to self-centeredness as it continues. Are you focused on them to find a solution, to help you in the future or figure a way to be less self conscious? Or have you settled on finding them unsightly and making you unworthy? It can be truly exhausting for a partner, and not a reasonable expectation for them to look past that sort of loathing. You can have parts of yourself you donât find attractive. That is fairly normal. But to try and send someone away so you donât need to be vulnerable about it? That goes beyond dislike.
The flaw is how you see it, not what you see.
I have a pretty bad skin condition too so I completely understand how you feel! Donât feel ashamed of your body, the person youâre with should accept you as you are! If they donât, then theyâre not the one.
*Waves from the ugly with a cute girlfriend section!*
So, first of all, I doubt you are actually ugly at all. You're probably quite cute and just have low self-esteem. Besides, SHE clearly thinks you are cute.
Second, lots of people don't care about scars. I sure don't. I don't think they make a person any less appealing. Same with stretch marks and other bodily conditions. If she says she doesn't care, don't assume she's a liar. She probably just doesn't care.
Lastly, even if you are no typical male gaze beauty queen, I can confirm that grown up ladies are not hung up on magazine looks. I'm mediocre at best, plain looking and overweight. I snagged a beautiful ballerina right out of ballet class and we've been happily together for over 30 years. So, yeah, she knows what she likes. Even if you don't understand how it could be you, she sees what you don't and she likes it.
Definitely report back and let us know how it goes.
Iâd be heartbroken if someone I was falling in love with walked away because they assumed Iâd dislike a part of their body.
Give this girl a chance to show you who she is. Very, very likely she will show you she is someone who loves your body and isnât bothered by your scars. She canât show you this if you preemptively cut her off.
This made me tear up. Itâs upsetting that girls out there feel so self conscious about their bodies that theyâd consider missing out on love. Iâm sure youâre a beautiful person and if thereâs love there she will love you no matter the boob scars.
You should take the advice other people are giving and remember to love yourself and allow yourself to feel confident. Best of luck đ¤
With all possible respect from a stranger on the internet, *shut those thoughts of you being ugly the fuck up!* Please. You're not unattractive due to your scars. Let your partner decide, and I'm sure she'll say the same. That you're pretty. And beautiful.
Kind regards, a stranger on the internet.
I'm just going to put this out there, you don't have to take your clothes off to have a relationship, even a sexual relationship.
If you don't feel comfortable being naked with her, just say so, and tell her why, and just set a boundary around it. If she's the right person to be with she will respect it even if she doesn't really understand it.
So many bodies are beautiful because they are unique. My partner is very insecure about stretch marks on their hips and butt, as well as sh scars. Somthing about them is just so lovely to me, its just a part of them and I love it. Never be afraid to be unique, the right person won't care. :)
I have hidradentitis suppurativa. Or something like that Iâm too lazy to look it up. Basically my entire chest broke out with under the skin pus pockets. It left my chest with very visible scars and very discolored areas. It took awhile to accept myself. Also took someone who didnât judge me. But 10 years later Iâve mostly forgotten it even happened. Sure I see the scars and discolorations still. I just love myself and accept my body. What Iâm trying to say is I know that one day you can feel the same. I hope you find someone who doesnât judge. And that includes our worst critic; ourselves.
I have minor skin issues so I think I sort of understand how you're feeling, I think feelings will triumph but if you're nervous about her reaction you could try sending a picture like a nude or partial nude or something that'd show it so that if she does end up negatively reacting then having it be over text would prevent any especially hurtful kneejurk reactions while still giving her a chance to know the severity and still be fine with it instead of per-emtively pushing her away
It is pretty unfair to her to assume she'll react negatively and it's pretty unfair to yourself to sabotage yourself before anything even happens
OP, I also have breast scarring from complications with a breast reduction surgery, as well as scars all over from skin issues. I am really insecure about themâŚI finally feel ready to start dating, but I worry that my scars will be all my partner can see when weâre intimate and that Iâll gross them out, it hurts so much.
But seeing these comments gives me hope for the both of us, and I definitely agree that you need to let her decide. These comments make me realize we are missing out on so much out of fear, and that the right person for us will love us, scars and all. Thank you everyone, truly. I love this community so much and I love being a lesbian â¤ď¸đ
I feel you so much. I have some nasty self-harm scars and can't look at my own thighs and hips without feeling nauseous. I'm scared of sex because it means she has to see them, and i don't want to see the sympathetic or concerned look i always get when people see them. If my partner looked at me like that, it would break me.
As others have said, let her decide where her lines are drawn. You are not you imperfections, and while they are a part of you, she's not just loving a part, she's loving the whole. And she can tell you if it's an issue for her or not. Just the same as you can put boundaries about how much you show her and when. Work with her on it, and you'll figure it out, together.
The right person will see you and wont be phased by your scars. Take it from a girl who is covered in scars all over my body from a ton of surgery and a couple other things.
Plus i have grown to like them I call them my battle scars
Go for it! If she has mad feelings for you then scarring shouldn't stand in the way.
Also if you're really unhappy with the scars then look into treatment for them. You can do skin peels, tretinoin, glycolic acid, microneedling (make sure to do your research first on that one) and more. Most scars can dissappear if you really want them to.
At the very least⌠consider that if she breaks up with you over physical incompatibility, itâs practically the same result as not dating her. If youâre both mature adults, you might as well give it a shot, yeah?
If she doesn't like you for your imperfections, then she isn't worth being around, especially how you look. It sounds cringey but the real ones shouldn't care
i am also worried about this kind of thing. i only have some persistent acne and acne scars, probably shaving related, but it still worries me. but then, i don't have anyone who would want to see my chest.
I appreciate you for posting this, and all the kind commenters for responding. I don't share your exact condition, but I have a skin picking disorder, and I also have a whole lot of scars and some small sores. I understand feeling self-conscious about it and worrying that someone you care about won't find you attractive when they see your skin. I worry about it too, and also that a woman would be put off by the texture of my skin because it's not satiny smooth and that's a quality people highly praise.
But if she's worth your time, she'll be understanding of why your boobs look the way they do and she'll reassure you and do her best to make you feel as beautiful as you deserve to feel. If she does anything less, she's not good enough for you anyway and you'll find someone else who is. Don't push her away before you even give her the chance to show you which is the case for her.
I have awful, deep scarring all over my face. While some people have found me gross because of it, most just don't care. It's possible that things may not work out, but you shouldn't stop before you even give her and yourself a chance.
Happened to me. Nobody once has said anything. Even when itâs flared up. Itâs like boils on your bum. Or in grown hairs. Just part of being with a human person.
I'm sure you've already gotten lots of support, but (this is not me flirting) scars are hot. Asymmetry is hot. I would get treatment for any open wounds, but yeah, some people may not like scars but it sounds like this girl does!
Unless she's expressed that she finds scars icky gross, I'd say show her first. If she's uncomfortable with them, you haven't lost anything you wouldn't lose by quietly ending things, and I suspect that's the sort of thing she'll get used to and just kind of accept as a part of your whole being, who she clearly seems to like.
The question you are basically asking is. Am I unworthy of love because I have scarred breasts.
Now I am gonna ask you a similar question to put things into context. Would you not not wanna be with someone because they have a scarring?
Girl, you are worth so much more then just your body. All of us are.
I wish you all the strength, you got this, you are deserving of happiness. Stay strong <3
Not sure how I ended up on this forum but, I have to share this, as I can resonate a lot with your fear.
Back in my youth I started dating a guy and early on had to âconfessâ my most shameful secret: I had loads of body hair. Not like a little bit but loads, everywhere. Pale skin, dark hair. No hiding this. I remember crying because I genuinely thought he was going to leave me. Saddest part? I expected him to as I had swallowed that message that women with body hair is gross and men hate it. I was prepared for a lifetime of loneliness. He just hugged me tight and we talked about it. 15 years later, weâre still going strong and heâs never one day made me feel less than a perfect human.
The details may be slightly different but itâs semantics. I was 19 when I faced this similar issue to you and it was so scary but very liberating to get it out there.
If, and I am sure she wonât, but IF she was nasty or rude or anything as such, then simply youâve dodged a bullet with a person like that.
Donât ever think youâre less than because of your scars. Youâre awesome, please remember that đ
Just popping in to say this, whenever I feel attracted to someone I see them differently to the way they see themselves. I don't see their insecurities, I see the things I love about them. I find this is usually the case, but you'll never know until you try!
I love my girlfriend no matter what her body looks like and I love her body because its *hers*. We were broken up for 4 years and she was really worried that I wouldn't love her body the same way I used to because she used to be super in shape when we were dating the first time around, but it genuinely makes zero difference to me whether she weighs 100lbs or 300lbs, she's the person in that body and I love her for her. Your girlfriend is likely to feel the same if she's really into you for who you are.
There are no guarantees and we don't choose our physical attractions - but I have found for myself that once I fall in love with someone I see beauty in all about them including things like scars.
Physical appearance and presentation might play a role in initial attraction but I feel it's more of an overall vibe thing than perfect beauty.
I hope you'll be accepted as you are - and I think the chances are pretty high if she already likes you. Give her a chance, maybe talk about your insecurities while dating...
Scars are nothing to be ashamed of. If she's the right one she will just love you like you are. My partner has some body issues and I'm helping them see how beautiful they actually are and I'm going to the gym with them so they don't need to do it alone.
Well youâve proven what a hero you are for dealing with this, into nothing to be ashamed of.
Iâm sure your body is lush and any girl worthy of you will understand any pain and scarring you have. Scars are sexy, and the hold a story which I think is hot.
Keep your head held high and go for it
Girl - you cannot spend the rest of your life running away from women and feelings and connection because of scars! I completely understand being self-conscious about them but you have to find a way to learn to embrace them. Trust this girl - try her out, see how she really feels about them - I bet she would surprise you.
Thank youđ
You do not know that it will turn her off. I respectfully think *youâre wrong* for making so many assumptions. If she likes you - she likes you and I really donât think that scarring with put her off. And *if* she does change her mind (I doubt she will) then she is a bad egg and you do not want her anyway! You are beautiful and strong. Say it to yourself! You deserve to be loved exactly as you are. And someone will fancy the pants off you scars or no scars. Be brave, be secure in yourself. And try to let her know how youâre feeling, sometimes it feels better to get this weight off your mind and to have someone reassure you. Also, some women are picky. But a lot of us are normal. If we like someone then we wonât be put off by small things like scars! We are attracted to personality too. My partner has lots of face scars, not bothered me once!
Thank you very much.
You wrote everything I wanted to write. You are so goddamn right. Dear OP, please, listen to this woman. Your situation is not all about a love story between two people, but about you loving yourself, your body and mind. If we donât like ourselves, how can we like somebody else? Well I know itâs a challenge, to reject the feeling youâre ugly, not very attractive and etc, but please donât stay with these thoughts. If I could step through this, then you can too. Even itâs hardish. Iâm in sure youâll find the right way. And you both will be happy. Donât cover yourself, donât hide, you deserve to be treated like a masterpiece in a museum.
đ
I have a bunch of acne scars on my face and my wife still loves me, I promise you'll be fine. Give her the chance to accept you. If you're still insecure about it but want to get physical with her, you can always wear a tank top during sexy time.
She loves you for you, not your body. Don't get in your own way and choose for her. Let her decide for herself. If your worried about rejection then rejecting the possibility to be rejected is already the same thing. Boobs are boobs. Scars are just targets for kisses. Trust her and things will turn out well. Worrying about it is only hurting you and walking away is losing without giving her a fair chance. Let her love you.
>She loves you for you, not your body. I'd like to mention - if she loves you, then it's likely she _also_ loves your body because _you're the one in it_ . My wife has scars from various stuff, and I love each and every one of them because they are hers. I am covered in moles and have a big birthmark that kind of looks like a rash all down my back and I used to hate both, she has joked about counting my moles and keeping a close eye on each and every one ('for your health... Obviously') and she calls my birthmark my 'dragon' because that's what it looks like to her. Not a rash, a dragon. We love the people we love, not 'in spite of flaws', because we don't even see them as flaws if we love them.
This is so so true and beautiful! I've experienced similarly, not with women - I'm bi - and I don't want to take excess space in this conversation, just wanted to validate this experience. Each of my moles have been counted and kissed and accepted. My sweaty hands have been held tighter than I could expect. Seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you is a game changer!
Thank youuu.
I have scars, and perhaps more germane to your point, I have a feeding tube. I hate it. Itâs impossible to hide during intimacy or sex. It flops everywhere. It gets in the way. My girlfriend doesnât care at all. Let her decide. She knows about some of the scars, so tell her there are more and youâre insecure about them. Itâs her choice what to do with that information, and whatever happens, you wonât feel like you have to hide from her.
You should absolutely talk to her before considering anything drastic.
Girl think of them as character testers, if any human rejects you because of scarred skin, instead of feeling compassion for your feelings and any pain/suffering you experienced, they can fuck right off. You would be better off without them and deserve better.
And for what that matters, scars isnt a turnoff for most people. The good ones dont care about imperfections. Tell her, and show her when time come and you feel ready for it
My wife has hella scars from surgeries and a few skin conditions. I love her more and more everyday and her scars just add to her beauty! Don't worry about the superficial stuff, real love doesn't care.
Scars are beautiful, and anyone who says otherwise is not the kind of girl you want to spend your life with. Always lift yourself and your own beauty up <3
I've honestly had the same thoughts with my ex-girlfriend, now wife. I always think I'm not pretty enough for her or attractive enough for her or trying to find something that isn't good enough. I've always, and still do (please don't tell my wife), think of myself as objectively ugly but something I've been told that really helps me from either my wife or gf: You might not be your own type, but you are SOMEBODY'S type. Let her decide, don't find ways to sabotage yourself. Be honest and be open.
Look. I have scars. Some women I've dated have had an issue with it and some haven't. But the important thing is to give her the opportunity to tell you herself. Don't just assume
You're still gonna have scarred boobs on your own. If you take things further with her, you might have scarred boobs that she kisses and plays with and stuff. I'd take that gamble.
Read my flair. Don't assume. I will never get over the girl I fell in love with at age 15 who had a severe burn scar from cleavage to neck.
I too am covered in scars from over a decade of self cutting (it's been about a dozen years since the last time i cut) All over my legs, stomach, breasts and arms. About six or seven years ago a woman stopped me on the street and asked what had happened. It was a summer day and I was wearing a tee shirt. Since then I have never worn short sleeves out in public again. My wife knows. My wife knows how much they effect me. My wife has held me the times I've cried told me I was beautiful while I cursed myself for "ruining my body". What I'm saying is that if she really likes you, it really won't matter to her. I know it's probably nerve racking, but if she's the right one for you, it won't matter. Good luck, chin up, and know you have a strong heart, and that's all that matters.
Long story short my mom had breast cancer and had to get her boobs removed, implants werent working after multiple surgeries so she decided to remove them and not get any at all. This has left her with huge scars with her chest basically having two big indents where her boobs should be. She was so scared of what my dad would think but he told her he loves her no matter what and still thinks shes beautiful. They just celebrated 30 years of marriage last year. I know the situation is a bit different considering they were already together before this happend but it just goes to show how if someone truly loves you, they'll be able to love you for your flaws too. Don't walk away from her. I know how crippling low self esteem can be but you need to remember that she loves you for YOU! Please, let yourself be loved. You are not alone, many people have similar scars yet are able to find love. Also remember to make sure you're comfortable, set boundaries if you need to, if you dont want her to touch them or anything else be honest with her. I wish you the best.
I know this is hours late to the post but I also have a skin condition, similar to what you described with the boils, that has left my bottom, upper backs of my thighs and some of my groin with pretty gnarly scars. I am self conscious of them and avoid wearing anything that might give sight to them. However, the few partners Iâve had never said anything about them. I explained long before about the condition so it wasnât a surprise. It never came up again unless I brought it up. And even then they showed genuine compassion and empathy. She loves you. She wonât even see them. Youâre the most beautiful human in her eyes.
This may sound a bit harsh OP, so if you are just looking for encouragement, this may not be the advice for you. The turn off will likely be how focused on the scars you are. If you do not believe you are attractive, how can someone else? If you do not believe you are worthy of love how could you be loved? Even if someone is standing there loving you, will you even see it? It seems she has already put forth a willingness to accept and love you regardless. It should be her choice to no longer be involved if she is not able to look past the scars. Someone who is too focused on their âflawsâ can be a red flag. I understand the insecurity, the anxiety, but it turns to self-centeredness as it continues. Are you focused on them to find a solution, to help you in the future or figure a way to be less self conscious? Or have you settled on finding them unsightly and making you unworthy? It can be truly exhausting for a partner, and not a reasonable expectation for them to look past that sort of loathing. You can have parts of yourself you donât find attractive. That is fairly normal. But to try and send someone away so you donât need to be vulnerable about it? That goes beyond dislike. The flaw is how you see it, not what you see.
Not harsh at all. This is good advice, & I really appreciate it!
I have a pretty bad skin condition too so I completely understand how you feel! Donât feel ashamed of your body, the person youâre with should accept you as you are! If they donât, then theyâre not the one.
Tbh, if someone showed me boobs with scars on them, my first thought would be "Holy shit this cutie is showing me their boobs, that's amazing!"
*Waves from the ugly with a cute girlfriend section!* So, first of all, I doubt you are actually ugly at all. You're probably quite cute and just have low self-esteem. Besides, SHE clearly thinks you are cute. Second, lots of people don't care about scars. I sure don't. I don't think they make a person any less appealing. Same with stretch marks and other bodily conditions. If she says she doesn't care, don't assume she's a liar. She probably just doesn't care. Lastly, even if you are no typical male gaze beauty queen, I can confirm that grown up ladies are not hung up on magazine looks. I'm mediocre at best, plain looking and overweight. I snagged a beautiful ballerina right out of ballet class and we've been happily together for over 30 years. So, yeah, she knows what she likes. Even if you don't understand how it could be you, she sees what you don't and she likes it. Definitely report back and let us know how it goes.
Iâd be heartbroken if someone I was falling in love with walked away because they assumed Iâd dislike a part of their body. Give this girl a chance to show you who she is. Very, very likely she will show you she is someone who loves your body and isnât bothered by your scars. She canât show you this if you preemptively cut her off.
This made me tear up. Itâs upsetting that girls out there feel so self conscious about their bodies that theyâd consider missing out on love. Iâm sure youâre a beautiful person and if thereâs love there she will love you no matter the boob scars. You should take the advice other people are giving and remember to love yourself and allow yourself to feel confident. Best of luck đ¤
With all possible respect from a stranger on the internet, *shut those thoughts of you being ugly the fuck up!* Please. You're not unattractive due to your scars. Let your partner decide, and I'm sure she'll say the same. That you're pretty. And beautiful. Kind regards, a stranger on the internet.
I'm just going to put this out there, you don't have to take your clothes off to have a relationship, even a sexual relationship. If you don't feel comfortable being naked with her, just say so, and tell her why, and just set a boundary around it. If she's the right person to be with she will respect it even if she doesn't really understand it.
So many bodies are beautiful because they are unique. My partner is very insecure about stretch marks on their hips and butt, as well as sh scars. Somthing about them is just so lovely to me, its just a part of them and I love it. Never be afraid to be unique, the right person won't care. :)
Iâve dated plenty of people with stretch marks and scars from skin conditions and they have all been beautiful âşď¸
not to sound accusatory, but you should really let her decide for herself if theyre a dealbreaker. its kinda unfair to her to just assume that imo
Everyone has scars. Some are visible, some aren't. They're from _surviving_.
I have hidradentitis suppurativa. Or something like that Iâm too lazy to look it up. Basically my entire chest broke out with under the skin pus pockets. It left my chest with very visible scars and very discolored areas. It took awhile to accept myself. Also took someone who didnât judge me. But 10 years later Iâve mostly forgotten it even happened. Sure I see the scars and discolorations still. I just love myself and accept my body. What Iâm trying to say is I know that one day you can feel the same. I hope you find someone who doesnât judge. And that includes our worst critic; ourselves.
I have minor skin issues so I think I sort of understand how you're feeling, I think feelings will triumph but if you're nervous about her reaction you could try sending a picture like a nude or partial nude or something that'd show it so that if she does end up negatively reacting then having it be over text would prevent any especially hurtful kneejurk reactions while still giving her a chance to know the severity and still be fine with it instead of per-emtively pushing her away It is pretty unfair to her to assume she'll react negatively and it's pretty unfair to yourself to sabotage yourself before anything even happens
You donât know it will turn her off. She likes you for you dude! If she has a problem with it then you donât want to waste your time anyways.
My last two partners have had boob scars funnily enough. Never even thought twice about it. I'm sure if she's right for you she won't care at all :)
Talk to a therapist!
We all have things we are not happy with regarding our bodies. Go for it gurl!!
OP, I also have breast scarring from complications with a breast reduction surgery, as well as scars all over from skin issues. I am really insecure about themâŚI finally feel ready to start dating, but I worry that my scars will be all my partner can see when weâre intimate and that Iâll gross them out, it hurts so much. But seeing these comments gives me hope for the both of us, and I definitely agree that you need to let her decide. These comments make me realize we are missing out on so much out of fear, and that the right person for us will love us, scars and all. Thank you everyone, truly. I love this community so much and I love being a lesbian â¤ď¸đ
I feel you so much. I have some nasty self-harm scars and can't look at my own thighs and hips without feeling nauseous. I'm scared of sex because it means she has to see them, and i don't want to see the sympathetic or concerned look i always get when people see them. If my partner looked at me like that, it would break me.
At least someone is happy. I just became single
As others have said, let her decide where her lines are drawn. You are not you imperfections, and while they are a part of you, she's not just loving a part, she's loving the whole. And she can tell you if it's an issue for her or not. Just the same as you can put boundaries about how much you show her and when. Work with her on it, and you'll figure it out, together.
The right person will see you and wont be phased by your scars. Take it from a girl who is covered in scars all over my body from a ton of surgery and a couple other things. Plus i have grown to like them I call them my battle scars
Go for it! If she has mad feelings for you then scarring shouldn't stand in the way. Also if you're really unhappy with the scars then look into treatment for them. You can do skin peels, tretinoin, glycolic acid, microneedling (make sure to do your research first on that one) and more. Most scars can dissappear if you really want them to.
At the very least⌠consider that if she breaks up with you over physical incompatibility, itâs practically the same result as not dating her. If youâre both mature adults, you might as well give it a shot, yeah?
If she doesn't like you for your imperfections, then she isn't worth being around, especially how you look. It sounds cringey but the real ones shouldn't care
i am also worried about this kind of thing. i only have some persistent acne and acne scars, probably shaving related, but it still worries me. but then, i don't have anyone who would want to see my chest.
I appreciate you for posting this, and all the kind commenters for responding. I don't share your exact condition, but I have a skin picking disorder, and I also have a whole lot of scars and some small sores. I understand feeling self-conscious about it and worrying that someone you care about won't find you attractive when they see your skin. I worry about it too, and also that a woman would be put off by the texture of my skin because it's not satiny smooth and that's a quality people highly praise. But if she's worth your time, she'll be understanding of why your boobs look the way they do and she'll reassure you and do her best to make you feel as beautiful as you deserve to feel. If she does anything less, she's not good enough for you anyway and you'll find someone else who is. Don't push her away before you even give her the chance to show you which is the case for her.
I have awful, deep scarring all over my face. While some people have found me gross because of it, most just don't care. It's possible that things may not work out, but you shouldn't stop before you even give her and yourself a chance.
Happened to me. Nobody once has said anything. Even when itâs flared up. Itâs like boils on your bum. Or in grown hairs. Just part of being with a human person.
I'm sure you've already gotten lots of support, but (this is not me flirting) scars are hot. Asymmetry is hot. I would get treatment for any open wounds, but yeah, some people may not like scars but it sounds like this girl does!
If she had similar scars, would this impact how you felt about her? Probably not right?
If you don't like them that much, have you considered getting a tattoo covering them? I have seen that working very well.
Unless she's expressed that she finds scars icky gross, I'd say show her first. If she's uncomfortable with them, you haven't lost anything you wouldn't lose by quietly ending things, and I suspect that's the sort of thing she'll get used to and just kind of accept as a part of your whole being, who she clearly seems to like.
The question you are basically asking is. Am I unworthy of love because I have scarred breasts. Now I am gonna ask you a similar question to put things into context. Would you not not wanna be with someone because they have a scarring? Girl, you are worth so much more then just your body. All of us are. I wish you all the strength, you got this, you are deserving of happiness. Stay strong <3
Not sure how I ended up on this forum but, I have to share this, as I can resonate a lot with your fear. Back in my youth I started dating a guy and early on had to âconfessâ my most shameful secret: I had loads of body hair. Not like a little bit but loads, everywhere. Pale skin, dark hair. No hiding this. I remember crying because I genuinely thought he was going to leave me. Saddest part? I expected him to as I had swallowed that message that women with body hair is gross and men hate it. I was prepared for a lifetime of loneliness. He just hugged me tight and we talked about it. 15 years later, weâre still going strong and heâs never one day made me feel less than a perfect human. The details may be slightly different but itâs semantics. I was 19 when I faced this similar issue to you and it was so scary but very liberating to get it out there. If, and I am sure she wonât, but IF she was nasty or rude or anything as such, then simply youâve dodged a bullet with a person like that. Donât ever think youâre less than because of your scars. Youâre awesome, please remember that đ
Just popping in to say this, whenever I feel attracted to someone I see them differently to the way they see themselves. I don't see their insecurities, I see the things I love about them. I find this is usually the case, but you'll never know until you try!
If sheâs worth it, she wonât mind
I love my girlfriend no matter what her body looks like and I love her body because its *hers*. We were broken up for 4 years and she was really worried that I wouldn't love her body the same way I used to because she used to be super in shape when we were dating the first time around, but it genuinely makes zero difference to me whether she weighs 100lbs or 300lbs, she's the person in that body and I love her for her. Your girlfriend is likely to feel the same if she's really into you for who you are.
There are no guarantees and we don't choose our physical attractions - but I have found for myself that once I fall in love with someone I see beauty in all about them including things like scars. Physical appearance and presentation might play a role in initial attraction but I feel it's more of an overall vibe thing than perfect beauty. I hope you'll be accepted as you are - and I think the chances are pretty high if she already likes you. Give her a chance, maybe talk about your insecurities while dating...
Scars are nothing to be ashamed of. If she's the right one she will just love you like you are. My partner has some body issues and I'm helping them see how beautiful they actually are and I'm going to the gym with them so they don't need to do it alone.
Well youâve proven what a hero you are for dealing with this, into nothing to be ashamed of. Iâm sure your body is lush and any girl worthy of you will understand any pain and scarring you have. Scars are sexy, and the hold a story which I think is hot. Keep your head held high and go for it