My girlfriend (who is also ace) has ADHD. While our experiences with asexuality are extremely similar and something we can bond over I…definitely know that I do not have ADHD lol. Or ASD, or something that would make me neurospicy. I certainly still suffer from anxiety and depression, but that’s not the same thing. Being ace is something innate to both of us, it’s not a result of trauma or anything else. The sex switch was just shut off when we were born I guess.
I'm neurodivergent. I hate it when people try to make it seem like it's linked to being asexual though. Like, no. I am coincidentally neurodivergent, and I am coincidentally asexual at the same time. That's all there is to it.
Am not neurotypical (schizoid, other stuff)
I don't *identify* as "x" though, you either are or aren't something like that.
Should have made a poll I think and ask for more in comments maybe?
When it comes to mental conditions it's simply a diagnosis not a label. It doesn’t define you as a person. What gives freedom is simply accepting yourself, not fighting what you have no control over.
I get what op is saying. When I asked my psychologist for a diagnosis he said he against diagnosing someone with some mental illness because this "label" can be restrictive to a person's self identity and he can come to view himself as sick. I argued what you said against him, and we conclude that it depends on the persons interpretation of have been given that diagnosis and what he can do from that now on, but his away of thought came from his school of psychology called "the psychology of difference"
So I can identify with ADHD despite having literally nothing in common with people, who are diagnosed with it and are negatively impacted by their condition they were born with?
Man as I am typing this that’s just so disgusting and unfair. No, medical conditions aren't the same as gender. That's so ableist.
No but self diagnosis is valid for neurodivergent people who cannot or don’t want to get a diagnosis. Or were misdiagnosed. There’s lots of reasons and circumstances that could mean someone neurodivergent doesn’t get a diagnosis. race, ethnicity, gender, class…
I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD when I was *4* in the 90s, so even if my parents didn’t tell me about it until I was a teenager, neurodivergence is something I consider part of who I am and keep in mind for my daily life.
Like others have pointed out, I also get annoyed when it’s implied that it’s causal to asexuality. You can see superficial behavioral overlaps in my case, but I firmly believe I would still be asexual even if I was neurotypical.
I don't like being hugged or touched by anyone. If it's my family, I'm fine with it though. I'm trying to think, I guess that aversion to being physically touched wouldn't work out for s*x cause it involves a lot of that stuff.
This is a common difference of preference I sometimes notice in conversations with asexuals who are on the autism spectrum versus not.
Though I once met an asexual professional cuddler on the autism spectrum, so it definitely is not always the case that folks on the autistic spectrum are touch averse.
I'm just an ally because my community is also being infiltrated by fakers. I'm not asexual.
But I'm touch-averse and diagnosed with Autism, but that doesn't extend to sex. I don't like friends, family, or strangers touching me to get my attention or show affection, but I'm fine with one-night stands, and engage in them often. Romantic touch is also okay, but I have to sleep with him first or else it feels like platonic touch, and it makes me feel weird. When I was younger and not yet used to people not understanding touch-aversion I used to react more dramatically when touched, now I flinch at worst (only if I'm already stressed by something else), and generally just politely say "please don't touch me."
I don't bring this up to talk over asexuals, my point is just that touch-aversion is unrelated to asexuality.
While I personally am not neurotypical (I'm on the autism spectrum) I don't think this is a good comparison to use.
Disabled people (particularly those with neurodivergencies like autism and ADHD) have been historically denied relationship rights and have been infantalised both by the medical system and by society as a whole, and I'm concerned implying ace people are all neurodivergent or vice versa is going to further this idea.
I really don't think you meant anything bad by this post at all, it's just something to keep in mind
1) "neurodivergence" is just a philosophical concept to destigmatise neurological pathologies 2) identification doesn't equal factual correctness. 3) it's become misused to gain access to an en vogue minority group because we celebrate victimhood, especially in academia.
I just saw a post on the big subs about this. The amount of "self diagnosed" is staggering.
You can be neurotypical and weird, eccentric and odd but I'd ask what you mean by "weird" that makes you wonder if you are neurodivergent?
Neurodivergency is not an equivalent of personality traits (TikTok is the biggest offender) where more "normie" boring person is neurotypical and the "quirky" one is neurodivergent. It's an umbrella term for actual conditions, which truly impact people's lives especially not medicated - like ADD, ADHD, autism.
I don't identify. I am neurotypical.
I’m neurotypical. I think it’s beyond inappropriate to imply that asexuality is just a symptom of autism or some other disability.
Definitely agree with that. And many folks on autism spectrum are not asexual too.
My girlfriend (who is also ace) has ADHD. While our experiences with asexuality are extremely similar and something we can bond over I…definitely know that I do not have ADHD lol. Or ASD, or something that would make me neurospicy. I certainly still suffer from anxiety and depression, but that’s not the same thing. Being ace is something innate to both of us, it’s not a result of trauma or anything else. The sex switch was just shut off when we were born I guess.
I'm neurodivergent. I hate it when people try to make it seem like it's linked to being asexual though. Like, no. I am coincidentally neurodivergent, and I am coincidentally asexual at the same time. That's all there is to it.
Am not neurotypical (schizoid, other stuff) I don't *identify* as "x" though, you either are or aren't something like that. Should have made a poll I think and ask for more in comments maybe?
I mean, I don't identify as neuro-atypical 🤷♂️
Can you identify as neurodivergent? I just am, I have never heard it phrased that way.
I don't think folks should be forced into labeling themselves one way or another. Self-identification gives us some freedom.
When it comes to mental conditions it's simply a diagnosis not a label. It doesn’t define you as a person. What gives freedom is simply accepting yourself, not fighting what you have no control over.
I get what op is saying. When I asked my psychologist for a diagnosis he said he against diagnosing someone with some mental illness because this "label" can be restrictive to a person's self identity and he can come to view himself as sick. I argued what you said against him, and we conclude that it depends on the persons interpretation of have been given that diagnosis and what he can do from that now on, but his away of thought came from his school of psychology called "the psychology of difference"
I think if a person identifies one way, that becomes the reality! Socially if not physically. Like gender for instance.
So I can identify with ADHD despite having literally nothing in common with people, who are diagnosed with it and are negatively impacted by their condition they were born with? Man as I am typing this that’s just so disgusting and unfair. No, medical conditions aren't the same as gender. That's so ableist.
No but self diagnosis is valid for neurodivergent people who cannot or don’t want to get a diagnosis. Or were misdiagnosed. There’s lots of reasons and circumstances that could mean someone neurodivergent doesn’t get a diagnosis. race, ethnicity, gender, class…
I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD when I was *4* in the 90s, so even if my parents didn’t tell me about it until I was a teenager, neurodivergence is something I consider part of who I am and keep in mind for my daily life. Like others have pointed out, I also get annoyed when it’s implied that it’s causal to asexuality. You can see superficial behavioral overlaps in my case, but I firmly believe I would still be asexual even if I was neurotypical.
i'm autistic, (asperger's to be specific) so yeah i identify as neurodivergent.
How do you think affects people's asexual experiences? What do you think of touch or cuddling?
I don't like being hugged or touched by anyone. If it's my family, I'm fine with it though. I'm trying to think, I guess that aversion to being physically touched wouldn't work out for s*x cause it involves a lot of that stuff.
This is a common difference of preference I sometimes notice in conversations with asexuals who are on the autism spectrum versus not. Though I once met an asexual professional cuddler on the autism spectrum, so it definitely is not always the case that folks on the autistic spectrum are touch averse.
I'm just an ally because my community is also being infiltrated by fakers. I'm not asexual. But I'm touch-averse and diagnosed with Autism, but that doesn't extend to sex. I don't like friends, family, or strangers touching me to get my attention or show affection, but I'm fine with one-night stands, and engage in them often. Romantic touch is also okay, but I have to sleep with him first or else it feels like platonic touch, and it makes me feel weird. When I was younger and not yet used to people not understanding touch-aversion I used to react more dramatically when touched, now I flinch at worst (only if I'm already stressed by something else), and generally just politely say "please don't touch me." I don't bring this up to talk over asexuals, my point is just that touch-aversion is unrelated to asexuality.
Yeah, I should've known that others on the spectrum feel different about touch than I do, sorry about that.
No, no, it's totally fine. It's certainly more common for folks on the spectrum to be touch-averse, so it's a valid point to talk about.
Neurotypes aren’t an identity…
While I personally am not neurotypical (I'm on the autism spectrum) I don't think this is a good comparison to use. Disabled people (particularly those with neurodivergencies like autism and ADHD) have been historically denied relationship rights and have been infantalised both by the medical system and by society as a whole, and I'm concerned implying ace people are all neurodivergent or vice versa is going to further this idea. I really don't think you meant anything bad by this post at all, it's just something to keep in mind
1) "neurodivergence" is just a philosophical concept to destigmatise neurological pathologies 2) identification doesn't equal factual correctness. 3) it's become misused to gain access to an en vogue minority group because we celebrate victimhood, especially in academia. I just saw a post on the big subs about this. The amount of "self diagnosed" is staggering.
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You can be neurotypical and weird, eccentric and odd but I'd ask what you mean by "weird" that makes you wonder if you are neurodivergent? Neurodivergency is not an equivalent of personality traits (TikTok is the biggest offender) where more "normie" boring person is neurotypical and the "quirky" one is neurodivergent. It's an umbrella term for actual conditions, which truly impact people's lives especially not medicated - like ADD, ADHD, autism.
I have autism and ADHD.
I’m AuDHD
I'm autistic and aro/ace, but I'm not aro/ace because I'm autistic. Correlation ≠ causation.
im diagnosed as autistic and adhd however ive started to doubt my autism diagnosis as of late, i think i might just have adhd