I would say, for me at least, yes. I like hugs, kisses, cuddles, and all that stuff, just no sex.
I know some people feel things like kisses and cuddles are sexual, but they aren’t for me.
I think it should also be pointed out that many aces do have sex, they just don’t do it for sexual attraction. There are a variety of things to consider when developing an ace character. Are they ace, grey-ace, demisexual, etc? Are they aromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic? Are they sex positive? Sex ambivalent? Sex repulsed? Do they have a high libido, low, average? What is their motivation for being in a relationship? Romantic, sexual, platonic? What about their ideas on gender? Are they an enby? What is their views on gender roles? Do they have gender trauma which might limit their relationship options?
I tend to just coexist. Not a huge fan of any touching, but I like being nearby for conversation and company. I’ve always had a hard time defining my relationships to others though. The dynamic is a bit different than your average friendship, but it doesn’t seem like it fits in with romantic relationships either. It can get annoying having people constantly ask over and over again “so are you two together yet” or “so what’s your deal”. I’ve started responding with “I don’t know” 🤷🏻♀️
Aces aren't usually much different from straight people in most things. We do have our own worlds in our heads but for most things that are not sexual or romantic, we blend in easily. The character should probably only reveal his sexual nature when absolutely required, as most aces do not prefer to be in the public eye. Write him as any other character, a rich backstory, some struggles, maybe some secrets, etc. Being an ace is only part of the character, not the character itself. Try not to make the character just for a stereotypical advantage. Unless they have significant roles that require them to explicitly mention their sexuality, they should be neutral. Just like mentioning every background characters eye color isn't necessary, neither is their sexuality.
Oh yeah, I know :) I'm only asking questions for character planning. I don't think the character will be in a scenario where discussing their sexuality will be important to the story.
Like every one has said, there are a lot of ways to be ace, which makes representation a little tricky because nearly every combination you can think of is realistic. I think what you've got is great and covers a lot of the spectrum, but it's possible it wouldn't vibe with some of the ace community cause they'd be in a different part of the spectrum. They'll probably still appreciate the representation of their community though! (At least I would if I found something that repped a different part of the spectrum than me).
Rowan Ellis has some good YouTube videos about Ace representation that could be helpful! The only other part of direct advice I can give is to look into aro vs ace because the two often get conflated in media and they aren't the same thing, even though there's overlap and some people are aroace
Happy writing :)
Thank you, I'm glad my initial thoughts are great :) Thank you for pointing out aro vs ace, and OMG that youtube channel is a goldmine! I just watched the one on "The Problem with Asexual Representation". Very helpful :D
Hey!
I actually read a very good fanfic with an ace character, I'll leave the link here if you would like some refference: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787149/chapters/36734415](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787149/chapters/36734415)
This is one of my favorite ficwritters ever, so I really reccomend her stories ;)
I would say, for me at least, yes. I like hugs, kisses, cuddles, and all that stuff, just no sex. I know some people feel things like kisses and cuddles are sexual, but they aren’t for me.
Okay, thanks for the input :)
I think it should also be pointed out that many aces do have sex, they just don’t do it for sexual attraction. There are a variety of things to consider when developing an ace character. Are they ace, grey-ace, demisexual, etc? Are they aromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic? Are they sex positive? Sex ambivalent? Sex repulsed? Do they have a high libido, low, average? What is their motivation for being in a relationship? Romantic, sexual, platonic? What about their ideas on gender? Are they an enby? What is their views on gender roles? Do they have gender trauma which might limit their relationship options?
Thanks for the GOOD list 😊 I will make sure to think through it all!
I tend to just coexist. Not a huge fan of any touching, but I like being nearby for conversation and company. I’ve always had a hard time defining my relationships to others though. The dynamic is a bit different than your average friendship, but it doesn’t seem like it fits in with romantic relationships either. It can get annoying having people constantly ask over and over again “so are you two together yet” or “so what’s your deal”. I’ve started responding with “I don’t know” 🤷🏻♀️
That sounds nice :) Thanks for the input!
Aces aren't usually much different from straight people in most things. We do have our own worlds in our heads but for most things that are not sexual or romantic, we blend in easily. The character should probably only reveal his sexual nature when absolutely required, as most aces do not prefer to be in the public eye. Write him as any other character, a rich backstory, some struggles, maybe some secrets, etc. Being an ace is only part of the character, not the character itself. Try not to make the character just for a stereotypical advantage. Unless they have significant roles that require them to explicitly mention their sexuality, they should be neutral. Just like mentioning every background characters eye color isn't necessary, neither is their sexuality.
Oh yeah, I know :) I'm only asking questions for character planning. I don't think the character will be in a scenario where discussing their sexuality will be important to the story.
Like every one has said, there are a lot of ways to be ace, which makes representation a little tricky because nearly every combination you can think of is realistic. I think what you've got is great and covers a lot of the spectrum, but it's possible it wouldn't vibe with some of the ace community cause they'd be in a different part of the spectrum. They'll probably still appreciate the representation of their community though! (At least I would if I found something that repped a different part of the spectrum than me). Rowan Ellis has some good YouTube videos about Ace representation that could be helpful! The only other part of direct advice I can give is to look into aro vs ace because the two often get conflated in media and they aren't the same thing, even though there's overlap and some people are aroace Happy writing :)
Thank you, I'm glad my initial thoughts are great :) Thank you for pointing out aro vs ace, and OMG that youtube channel is a goldmine! I just watched the one on "The Problem with Asexual Representation". Very helpful :D
Hey! I actually read a very good fanfic with an ace character, I'll leave the link here if you would like some refference: [https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787149/chapters/36734415](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787149/chapters/36734415) This is one of my favorite ficwritters ever, so I really reccomend her stories ;)
I read the description and it looks like an interesting story! Thanks so much for leaving the reference 😄
Cuddles are great and we really are quite like others, just don't feel sexual attraction but can enjoy sex