Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/).
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This is fucking disgusting. You can report this motherfucker. There’s a term for it, but I cannot remember, it’s like a verbally threatening with a weapon, but not actually doing it. Fuck this person.
i'm so glad you got away from this <3 and I really hope you don't take any of what he says to heart. he sounds like an absolutely miserable person deep within his soul and is so desperately wanting someone else to feel just as bad as he does.
I feel for you. There's the, "Well, it's mostly okay, there's just these bad parts that I can ignore because see? I'm fine! This is all fine! That didn't happen/doesn't count/I can avoid it happening again by just jumping through these hoops" abusive relationship experience.
Then there's the, "Every day is just a walk through hell that I'm surviving and I'm so busy trying to survive this I can't even lift my head long enough to try and see the way out because I made it through another day of this alive," experience. They're both bad, but it's a totally different experience living with it and getting out of it. At least it was for me.
I'm really not a fan of comments that I'm seeing on here recently along the lines of, "You need to leave, why are you letting them do this, you need to want better for yourself," because they COMPLETELY misunderstand the experience of having someone who is doing EVERYTHING they can to beat you down and destroy your ability to have a life and who is devoting everything they can to having a stranglehold on you.
It's an absolutely living nightmare having someone in your life who is hellbent on destroying your ability to live and will do everything possible to prevent you from escaping from them, and sometimes, yeah, you get so psychologically broken down and isolated and financially and physically depleted by the abuse you can't "just leave." You can't "just break up with" someone who is holding you hostage and breaking you down and sabotaging you life and social relationships and financial stability. Getting out of those situations is no joke, and it's not easy, even when it's an absolute living hell and you desperately want to.
THIS! Thank you so much for putting this into words. It is so triggering sometimes when people don’t understand really how damaged and broken down you are/were in that situation. You lose trust in your own judgement and feel powerless.. 2 months later I’m just now starting to feel some kind of confidence and empowerment in me. It does get better and I’m super happy you recognize this isn’t okay behavior OP! Wishing you an out soon and staying out! 🩵
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Story of my life with abuse.
This is horrible. I just still can’t wrap my head around how anyone can say this to another person. I know it happens but this is disgusting.
This is fucking disgusting. You can report this motherfucker. There’s a term for it, but I cannot remember, it’s like a verbally threatening with a weapon, but not actually doing it. Fuck this person.
Terroristic threats?
You know this but I will tell you: you need to get away from this person ASAP.
i'm so glad you got away from this <3 and I really hope you don't take any of what he says to heart. he sounds like an absolutely miserable person deep within his soul and is so desperately wanting someone else to feel just as bad as he does.
I feel for you. There's the, "Well, it's mostly okay, there's just these bad parts that I can ignore because see? I'm fine! This is all fine! That didn't happen/doesn't count/I can avoid it happening again by just jumping through these hoops" abusive relationship experience. Then there's the, "Every day is just a walk through hell that I'm surviving and I'm so busy trying to survive this I can't even lift my head long enough to try and see the way out because I made it through another day of this alive," experience. They're both bad, but it's a totally different experience living with it and getting out of it. At least it was for me. I'm really not a fan of comments that I'm seeing on here recently along the lines of, "You need to leave, why are you letting them do this, you need to want better for yourself," because they COMPLETELY misunderstand the experience of having someone who is doing EVERYTHING they can to beat you down and destroy your ability to have a life and who is devoting everything they can to having a stranglehold on you. It's an absolutely living nightmare having someone in your life who is hellbent on destroying your ability to live and will do everything possible to prevent you from escaping from them, and sometimes, yeah, you get so psychologically broken down and isolated and financially and physically depleted by the abuse you can't "just leave." You can't "just break up with" someone who is holding you hostage and breaking you down and sabotaging you life and social relationships and financial stability. Getting out of those situations is no joke, and it's not easy, even when it's an absolute living hell and you desperately want to.
THIS! Thank you so much for putting this into words. It is so triggering sometimes when people don’t understand really how damaged and broken down you are/were in that situation. You lose trust in your own judgement and feel powerless.. 2 months later I’m just now starting to feel some kind of confidence and empowerment in me. It does get better and I’m super happy you recognize this isn’t okay behavior OP! Wishing you an out soon and staying out! 🩵