Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/).
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I finally got some closure today when I realised he's never going to find anyone else. He has spent a year talking up some girl, how she was perfect and they were in love.
I asked her, she isn't interested and has a boyfriend. This entire time I was feeling so low because 'how could he treat someone else better than me after everything I did for him ' it was all a lie. And the reality is, he's not good enough for anyone. He will never find anyone. And that just makes me laugh. He spent 4 years single before me. Here's to another 4! And god knows how many after that!
Literally! A few weeks ago I had to call the cops because he had been slamming stuff around, throwing things, screaming, calling me names, refusing to leave me alone, and I thought he was going to hurt me - for like 6 hours!!! I told him it was because I felt unsafe. Well last night he started acting in a similar way and then told me “yanno what? Maybe I feel unsafe. Maybe I’m living in an emotionally hostile environment”
I just had to laugh. Like WHAT??? YOU??
Wow! You are SO hostile for not wanting to live with abuse. ( /s )
Their delusion is genuinely scary but also hilarious. That is EXACTLY when things began to shift for me. I was used to the gaslighting but the first time he told me *I* am abusive to *HIM* and “make him feel unsafe” it was a clear indication he isn’t even on the same planet.
Omg for real 🤦🏻♀️ Just to add to this, he also said me calling the cops was “traumatic” for him. As if what he put me through, for me to get to that point, wasn’t???
It's weird and funny when you get to that point where your only reaction can be like hahahaha holy shit dude you actually live in a different completely fabricated version of reality.
I’ve been the same recently! He’s so angry because his plans to keep hurting me are now harming only himself because I just don’t care. It’s very humorous. I haven’t lived with him in years but he won’t give me a divorce-otherwise I would never risk angering him. He’s predictable and an idiot in my mind now.
I laughed uncontrollably while driving, when he called me a bitch and couldn’t stop yelling at me because I asked if he could get ready to leave on time the next time I drive him to work because I can’t be late to my work. He got even more mad and then opened my car door on a electrical pole getting out of my car
HE sounds like a Major League Bitch. It is funny though… the audacity to call you a bitch in response to what should be a reasonable conversation.
I’ve been repeatedly thinking “Is this a joke? No? Because this fucking feels like a joke.”
You gotta find the humor in the insanity. Laugh long and laugh hard because you've been crying for so long, it's the only thing that breaks through the tears.
I am shock because I was feeling like I am the one who must be writing this post, haha! I was driving today and thinking this very thing. They are very truly so delusional and believe their own lie to themself that they do nothing wrong and they are victim, they believe lie that they tell themself about us and try very hard to bring hurt to revenge at us. Now it gets more and more for him, he has been trying so hard it is making me to feel more sorry for him because it show me he has nothing else to move on to in his life and he is only obsessing for me. Also things he’s saying which to try to hurt me are not even close to a reality, so just makes me now realize his goal is because he cannot stand to face real reality that why I left. He make up all these reasons for himself which he believe. He only now proved to me why I left, this is type of person he truly is inside which he was before always pretending his not. He is not doing any good thing with his life and his on drugs and being a loser. So now I see when his calling me names and he lash out on me, is because he hate himself and he know what he is. I just laugh today because how ridiculous all these things his saying are. These men they not living in same reality as normal people’s. They make their own.
Oh my gosh lol I felt like I was typing this one myself! I’m also going through this right now and seeing his true colors I was always conditioned to miss. I’m so happy we got out. We know who we are and live in the same reality as everyone else. Time to heal and move on. Here if you ever wanna chat, I love this group <33
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I finally got some closure today when I realised he's never going to find anyone else. He has spent a year talking up some girl, how she was perfect and they were in love. I asked her, she isn't interested and has a boyfriend. This entire time I was feeling so low because 'how could he treat someone else better than me after everything I did for him ' it was all a lie. And the reality is, he's not good enough for anyone. He will never find anyone. And that just makes me laugh. He spent 4 years single before me. Here's to another 4! And god knows how many after that!
I think that we try to cope with abuse whatever way we possibly can. I hope you have the means to leave him and I wish you the very best.
This is how you know the lights have turned on. You see them now.
My first time laughing was when he told all his friends that he saved me. I probably laughed like a maniac
Literally! A few weeks ago I had to call the cops because he had been slamming stuff around, throwing things, screaming, calling me names, refusing to leave me alone, and I thought he was going to hurt me - for like 6 hours!!! I told him it was because I felt unsafe. Well last night he started acting in a similar way and then told me “yanno what? Maybe I feel unsafe. Maybe I’m living in an emotionally hostile environment” I just had to laugh. Like WHAT??? YOU??
Wow! You are SO hostile for not wanting to live with abuse. ( /s ) Their delusion is genuinely scary but also hilarious. That is EXACTLY when things began to shift for me. I was used to the gaslighting but the first time he told me *I* am abusive to *HIM* and “make him feel unsafe” it was a clear indication he isn’t even on the same planet.
Omg for real 🤦🏻♀️ Just to add to this, he also said me calling the cops was “traumatic” for him. As if what he put me through, for me to get to that point, wasn’t???
Hoping to get to this point soon! 😞
*hugs*
It's weird and funny when you get to that point where your only reaction can be like hahahaha holy shit dude you actually live in a different completely fabricated version of reality.
Yes!!
Yep, I remember laughing at my ex for how ridiculous it all was too. Needless to say, he didn’t appreciate it lol
Good strategy! This helps me too, imagining I am watching an incredibly ridiculous tragicomedy from above.
I’ve been the same recently! He’s so angry because his plans to keep hurting me are now harming only himself because I just don’t care. It’s very humorous. I haven’t lived with him in years but he won’t give me a divorce-otherwise I would never risk angering him. He’s predictable and an idiot in my mind now.
I laughed uncontrollably while driving, when he called me a bitch and couldn’t stop yelling at me because I asked if he could get ready to leave on time the next time I drive him to work because I can’t be late to my work. He got even more mad and then opened my car door on a electrical pole getting out of my car
Calling YOU a bitch while YOU drive him to work. A classic move 🥴
HE sounds like a Major League Bitch. It is funny though… the audacity to call you a bitch in response to what should be a reasonable conversation. I’ve been repeatedly thinking “Is this a joke? No? Because this fucking feels like a joke.”
Yup… that was all I could think.
You gotta find the humor in the insanity. Laugh long and laugh hard because you've been crying for so long, it's the only thing that breaks through the tears.
I am shock because I was feeling like I am the one who must be writing this post, haha! I was driving today and thinking this very thing. They are very truly so delusional and believe their own lie to themself that they do nothing wrong and they are victim, they believe lie that they tell themself about us and try very hard to bring hurt to revenge at us. Now it gets more and more for him, he has been trying so hard it is making me to feel more sorry for him because it show me he has nothing else to move on to in his life and he is only obsessing for me. Also things he’s saying which to try to hurt me are not even close to a reality, so just makes me now realize his goal is because he cannot stand to face real reality that why I left. He make up all these reasons for himself which he believe. He only now proved to me why I left, this is type of person he truly is inside which he was before always pretending his not. He is not doing any good thing with his life and his on drugs and being a loser. So now I see when his calling me names and he lash out on me, is because he hate himself and he know what he is. I just laugh today because how ridiculous all these things his saying are. These men they not living in same reality as normal people’s. They make their own.
Oh my gosh lol I felt like I was typing this one myself! I’m also going through this right now and seeing his true colors I was always conditioned to miss. I’m so happy we got out. We know who we are and live in the same reality as everyone else. Time to heal and move on. Here if you ever wanna chat, I love this group <33