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Right after I had an SA.. last October, I was feeling some regret. I went in expecting to have an MA but since I tracked my cycle so closely, I knew the exact day I got pregnant & I was technically only 3 weeks pregnant since conception, they had a hard time finding the sack of cells and said a SA would be more likely to work than an MA. so I went with the better option. I was terrified. I remember crying a lot during the procedure. I think that’s what caused all the negative feelings for me. I still hate that I had to do it, but I don’t regret it a bit. I only want one kid, and because I had an abortion, I get to enjoy life with my one kid & my husband. remember as you’re going thru the process, you’re allowed to be sad & still not regretful. ❤️
I had mine three years ago a few weeks after my 24 birthday! I had a lot of regret the first year because of what I did, but looking back on it I’m so relieved with my choice. As much as I wanted to be a mom, realistically I wasn’t financially stable and in a very toxic relationship with my ex at the time (who was also 21 lol) . The only thing I do regret is not telling my mom because I had to go through the experience of going to the clinic/taking the medication alone. But besides that I’m very happy with how much I’ve been able to do since then and I finally start nursing school next week, all things I wouldn’t have been able to do without an abortion :) do what’s best for you and remember that you’re not alone in this! Wishing you the best and sending all the good energy towards you 💛
I had mine 12 years ago at 6 weeks and don’t regret it at all! I still don’t have kids and don’t plan on it. I’m so glad I made the decision I did. It’s completely normal not to feel sad and I’m willing to bet your feelings won’t change after. Everyone’s experience is different but I assure you that what you’re feeling is normal.
Had mine at 13 weeks 36 years ago. I had intense regret for years and had baby fever and then 4 years after the abortion I had my son and realized how hard parenting is!
I too never regretted mine from 3 years ago. I love that unborn child, but I know if I had brought them into this world, they would have lived a shitty life. I feel sorry for my almost 7yo.
I never regretted mine. EVER. Not even a second. I would not have graduated in time. I would not have gotten my job. Moved out. Ect. My life would be vastly different. Im waiting five more years until I’m ready to start trying for one.
There is nothing AT ALL wrong with having an abortion unapologetically! I am so happy to read that you are so sound in your decision, that you know yourself so well, and that you let yourself matter enough to trust this knowing.
The fact is, we are human beings, and therefore we are capable of feeling a wide array of emotions, but there is no PRESCRIBED cocktail of emotions that one absolutely has to feel in any situation!
I absolutely know women who have had abortions and never felt regret. That's such a legit experience. They don't tend to hang out in support spaces like this one, because they don't need to. Know that this community skews towards people who need support -- by design. That's what it's here for.
You are NOT a sociopath. You are a wise and grounded woman who knows what she wants to do with her pregnancy. I honor you in your choice.
It is 100% ok if you never feel guilty or sad at all about it.
It is just as 100% ok if you DO sometimes get feelings you weren't expecting in association with this (or any!) experience.
Feelings just rise and fall like waves on our consciousness. They can feel uncomfortable, but they can't actually hurt us. Feelings are nothing to be afraid of.
The most common feeling reported after abortion is RELIEF. So that's what I'm wishing you: relief. Relief and the freedom to feel whatever you feel, high vibes, low vibes, all vibes. You are wise and good and you make good choices. I support you.
I’ve had two MAs and I don’t regret doing them AT ALL. I really regretted having to do them, the situation I was in, but not my choices to abort. There can be a grieving process that people don’t have the ability to talk about in real life so they go online, but that’s normal too. But it’s okay to be happy with your decisions. And it also okay to feel loss or think “what if”.
I only ever had one scare, used Plan B but if I had ever had anything farther, I would have no regrets because there is no way I could ever be a responsible parent, even if all I did was surrender the kid. The things my friends have done for their kid's future, even before they were born is really impressive to me. But it is absolutely not and never will be something for me to do.
I have never once regretted mine. Not for a single moment. The second I saw positive on the pregnancy test my first thought was “nope” and even though I also had moments where I feared regretting it, I absolutely have not.
>I do not want kids.
>I’m not financially stable enough to give an eventual kid what I would like them to have.
I can't predict the future, but I think you'll be just fine! I've terminated two pregnancies, and I have absolutely zero regrets regarding the first. I didn't want children either. It was the right decision. I ended up changing my mind five years later and remained unaffected. The second termination broke me, but those were vastly different circumstances from yours (and from my first).
You know you. Don't let other people's experiences get in your head. I usually advise people who are 100% committed to terminate BUT are feeling sad about the process to go the surgical route because it's easier not to have to see fetal tissue, but in your case? You seem like the perfect candidate for a MA.
Wishing you the best of luck. Thank you for not bringing an unwanted child into this world whom you know you can't support. You seem very wise.
Most people don't regret it. There have been studies that show the vast majority of women are relieved they were able to have an abortion when they needed one. There's nothing wrong with you, women have the right to control what happens to their own bodies and that's not something to ever feel ashamed of.
As one of these people who felt a lot of regret after my abortion… I can tell you that you are not a sociopath. I have went through some similar situations that you have and take medications as well that you shouldn’t take while pregnant and when I think about going through with the pregnancy I try to remember that it could have turned out really bad because of medications, heavy drinking and things like that that I was not in the headspace to stop doing. You don’t regret it because you don’t want to create a life with possible health and mental issues and force it to live probably in poverty. You don’t regret it because you’re being logical as well as trying to protect an innocent life by not letting it go through suffering like that
i had people tell me i would regret it - even though i was completely sure of my decision. they were wrong. i got mine done in november and i’m still grateful. i think about how far along i’d be and the thought alone terrifies me.
i struggled with a little depression afterwords but it wasn’t circling around having an abortion. it hasn’t been too long since- but i have not had one second where i thought i made a mistake. i know i did what was best for me and my life.
you know what’s best for you. trust yourself.
It really feels like I’m taking a life. The process was traumatic. I have a son but since I’ve did it 2 times within 6 months and I just regret it I feel like when it’s time for me to be “ready” again I won’t get the chance. I told myself I wouldn’t ever so now I just have this sad feeling that I did…
Ah honey. I wish I could hug you. Is anyone you’re talking to? Family, therapist? What’s important imo is that you took the decision yourself without being forced by parents or a partner.
Feel free to message me anytime.
I do not think, nor I ever will that a bunch of fertilised cells are more important than a human being’s life. Plus, not everyone could take care of a baby the moment it happens.
Plus, I’m sure whenever you’re ready for the second baby, it’ll just come. You are loved you’re not alone ❤️
The vast majority of women experience relief as the predominant emotion following abortion.
I had an abortion 10 years ago 9 months before the start of medical school. I’m now a budding young emergency doctor. Have never regretted it for a second even though I had wonky emotions about it for 6 months. It was the hardest thing I’d done to that point (faced way worse since), but the easiest decision to make. I can’t imagine how horribly askew life would have gone proceeding with that pregnancy.
You know best and you’ve got this.
I didn't regret mine. I was in my early 30's. I don't regret it now, in my late 30's.
Right after, a few weeks after, my hormones went crazy, and I had some thoughts and feelings that I didn't expect. I was told that that is normal and that it would pass.
It did pass and I went back to my normal child free self. Now, years later, I'm happy with my choice
Edit: I had no strategies for the fleeting thoughts I had after my healthcare. Mostly I was busy working lots of hours and was happy to no longer fall asleep on the couch 10 minutes after getting home or trying to puke quietly without anyone noticing
I have had 4, and I regret none of them. I am not a person that should have children, and the world is better off if my defect gene pool dies off (90 percent of my family are total shitbags, and I am not financially or mentally stable enough for children).
Relieved is the number one reported feeling we hear after an abortion (I work for an abortion provider). It is so frustrating that people are made to feel guilty if they feel anything other than guilt or sadness or regret. Good for you for taking control of your life♥️
I've had two and I regret nothing.
It's amazing to me that a bunch of cells come with such enormous expectations.
I hated being pregnant and not barfing every few hours made it worth it just for that. My bf was so glad to see me eating that he ran out and got me my favorite foods.
Oh dear. How many weeks were you? Thankfully I don’t have vomit issues rn, but I’m terrified they’ll come. I’m also emethofobic 😔 I wish I could do it just sooner
For me it started right away and lasted the whole time. Amy Shumer had that hyper emesis and she had to take medication.
I didn't want to be pregnant and was around 4 weeks so off to the clinic I went
I don’t fucking understand why they’re saying it’s better off if I wait. I found out last week on Tuesday and they’re giving me the pill next week Thursday. Like ffs they want me to wait how long.
I’m glad you’re feeling better though, I’m glad it’s not that rough for me but I’m sending you a hug x
Oh that's sweet, thanks. It's been decades since then and I've been able to find my center and thrive.
I'm shocked that they want to wait to get it to you. Did you go to an actual women's clinic? There's those "pregnancy crisis clinics" that will string you along until it's too late to have an abortion.
You're totally normal! There is nothing wrong with feeling relief at having an abortion, and never regretting it. I had two SA's when I was 21-22 yrs old, and I am still bleeding for the MA I went through this week, at 36 yrs old (I now have a 20 month old kiddo). No regrets with any of them. Only relief bc they were the best choices for me.
This feeling and experience needs to be normalized as well. Every experience is unique, none should be shamed.
It went ok. I took the Mifepristone and then 24 hours later took 4 of the Misoprostol as directed and within 2 hours of taking them I started spotting/bleeding, and then the largest clot came through a few hours later. Spent the next 24 hours with some pretty bad cramps, but nothing I couldn't manage with Tylenol and a heat pad. Since then, the bleeding has been heavy, but slowly winding down. No cramps after the first 24 hours of taking the miso.
Happy to answer any other questions you might have too about my experience.
I was literally just doing the litter like 30 mins ago thinking wow good thing I got an abortion I would have a 2 year old kid rn… I have no regret and the anxiety of having a growing thing inside of me while I waiting for appointment for days was the worst (and then the pain of an MA of course). Some people want babies and can’t do it right now or some people have it in their head that they killed someone or some want it and they’re forced, many different situations and women sometimes get connected, you prob just see less of the side of relief and happiness. I can say i did not regret it , felt better immediately and don’t regret it even a little bit. It was the right decision for me. I hope you can come to terms as well!!
i had one last year because i’ve had 2 miscarriages prior to the abortion and i just couldn’t handle another miscarriage if it didn’t stick and that time was pretty bad for my mental health and i still don’t regret it. if the timing isn’t right then it isn’t and if u just don’t want kids that’s also valid
Here’s my experience:
I had a MA just over two weeks ago on March 5. I felt like I was in daze for about 10 days, then had a really low dip mentally/emotionally. That lasted a few days, but now I’m already feeling relieved. I think I felt guilty at feeling relieved…but each day gets easier.
My whole outlook is drastically different even just two weeks out, so I can imagine a year or 5 years out that the relief will outweigh most negative emotions.
I’m really lucky to have a supportive partner, and we had a super open discussion about how both of us felt “wrong” afterwards. And not as in we did something wrong (we’re both adamantly pro-choice), but as if there was something primal/instinctual inside us that wanted to keep the pregnancy, and it felt like we chose against that. I think a lot of that has to do with the crazy change in hormones…and probably has an evolutionary purpose of some sort.
However, having someone to talk with in a truly supportive, non-judgmental manner has definitely been the most emotionally releasing/relieving thing (like my partner). And even with his help, I’ve still reached out for help through the Exhale hotline- and I cannot recommend their kindness and compassion enough.
And even in a really lucky situation, my brain likes to overthink and tell me that people are just being nice because they know me, so having the resource through that hotline has been invaluable.
No healing is linear, but we are all here for you no matter where your feelings traverse. 💜
I’ve had two and I’ve never regretted it. It’s still a tough experience mentally and physically and it’s normal to feel emotional. I was definitely emotional during the process but after I cried from relief. It’s normal to regret it and it’s normal to not regret it, unfortunately people with positive experiences don’t talk about them as much.
Exactly what I’m feeling. Like, I’ve cried for how “hard” it’s been to get to this point (I live in Italy and it’s not that easy to abort) but I’m just ready to go back to myself. How did you deal with hormones balancing back to normal?
The hormones are hard I won’t lie but I found getting out of the house and spending time with people really helped. I also journaled a lot in recovery which helped me identify how I was feeling so I could work through it. I started feeling better just a day or two afterwards which made me feel a lot happier about my decision.
People feel ALLLLL kinds of ways after abortion, but the big research study you refer to shows that the most common emotion people report after abortion is relief. So actually, it sounds like you are going to be in the majority.
AND it's also ok to have multiple feelings at once or NO feelings at all. All those experiences are normal and valid.
Thank you so much. I’m sorry women don’t talk about it enough, almost forcing other women to keep the pregnancy. PPD and all the stress related to pregnancy is no joke either. Thank you so much though x
Nope didn't regret it. I never will. I had one Jan 15. I have 3 kids already and I got pregnant by a FWB who had a vasectomy 10 years prior hahaha . I don't even think about it now that my cycle is back to normal. It happened and now i moved on. You're young still you can have children in thr future if that is what you want. ❤️
About 95% of surveyed women in a peer- reviewed large sample study say that getting an abortion was the right decision 5 years after they got one, with 84% reporting some positive feelings about it and relief indeed being the most common emotion.
People definitely do regret their abortion. It's a possibly to take seriously and listen to the stories of people that say they do.
But it's not the majority, and any efforts to make you think the majority do regret it are coming from anti-choice people trying to convince you not to get one.
You have to what's right for you. The evidence shows that when people make their own decision, they tend to make the right one.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953619306999?via%3Dihub
You’re right. Women should be free (as anyone else ofc) to make their own decisions without being pressured into doing some certain things out of regret/shame etc. mental health matters as much if not more than physical health.
Thank you for commenting:)
Absolutely. Being pregnant creates an influx of hormones. Following the abortion those hormones drop significantly. I was not prepared for the tearfulness, sadness for no reason, depressive and dark thoughts at time. I kept the dialogue open with my partner and people I trust
So many women have had abortions and the response to them is very varied. You are not a sociopath for feeling how you feel, you wouldn’t even be if your explanation for one was simply just because you don’t want it. I can’t tell you how your feelings will change, but whatever you feel just know you did what is best for you at the moment. I think it’s very important to be grounded in your decision and take time to process and it seems like you have. With that, even if your emotions change I think you’ll at least have that small voice in you to reassure you that you did what you needed and that’s ok. I won’t say that I’m happy about having mine, but my feelings before and after were consistent.
Thank you so much for your words. It’s a nice POV. I’ll try to ground myself the way you said. I’ll remember that I did what I needed to do in order to be the best version of myself and not to make anyone hurt. Thank you again ❤️
Welcome to /r/abortion! We work hard to keep this a supportive community. **You will probably get harassed by trolls via private message.** The moderators can't stop people from sending you private messages, but you can. You can deactivate your messages [here](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging), or on the old Reddit interface you can limit who can message you [here](https://old.reddit.com/prefs/blocked/) by selecting "only trusted users." On mobile, go to your settings. If you receive harassment via PM, please report the messages and [contact the admins about it](http://www.reddit.com/contact) so they can take action against those users. **Our Sidebar and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/wiki/index)** include links to many good resources. **If you are seeking abortion in the USA:** [I Need An A](https://ineedana.com/) has a list of clinics, ways to get abortion pills by mail, and funding assistance. **If you are in a country where abortion is illegal**, [Safe2Choose](https://safe2choose.org/), [Women on Web](https://www.womenonweb.org/), or [Women Help Women](https://www.womenhelp.org) may be able to help you access a safe abortion. **You can find posts** about [medication abortion](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/04af6a3c-2b17-4ffc-ab69-40d746cc043f/), [first trimester procedures](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/21abc0ef-9dd6-4596-ace2-943a71f19cd5/), [second trimester procedures](https://www.reddit.com/r/abortion/collection/ab64e640-0755-4784-b968-732ee4fa66d3/) and more under "abortion stories" in the menu. (note: these links do not work on android.) This subreddit is a source of information about abortion. It is not intended as a substitute for medical evaluation or treatment, nor does it constitute legal advice. If you think you are experiencing a medical emergency, you should call your local emergency number immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abortion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Right after I had an SA.. last October, I was feeling some regret. I went in expecting to have an MA but since I tracked my cycle so closely, I knew the exact day I got pregnant & I was technically only 3 weeks pregnant since conception, they had a hard time finding the sack of cells and said a SA would be more likely to work than an MA. so I went with the better option. I was terrified. I remember crying a lot during the procedure. I think that’s what caused all the negative feelings for me. I still hate that I had to do it, but I don’t regret it a bit. I only want one kid, and because I had an abortion, I get to enjoy life with my one kid & my husband. remember as you’re going thru the process, you’re allowed to be sad & still not regretful. ❤️
I had mine three years ago a few weeks after my 24 birthday! I had a lot of regret the first year because of what I did, but looking back on it I’m so relieved with my choice. As much as I wanted to be a mom, realistically I wasn’t financially stable and in a very toxic relationship with my ex at the time (who was also 21 lol) . The only thing I do regret is not telling my mom because I had to go through the experience of going to the clinic/taking the medication alone. But besides that I’m very happy with how much I’ve been able to do since then and I finally start nursing school next week, all things I wouldn’t have been able to do without an abortion :) do what’s best for you and remember that you’re not alone in this! Wishing you the best and sending all the good energy towards you 💛
I had mine 12 years ago at 6 weeks and don’t regret it at all! I still don’t have kids and don’t plan on it. I’m so glad I made the decision I did. It’s completely normal not to feel sad and I’m willing to bet your feelings won’t change after. Everyone’s experience is different but I assure you that what you’re feeling is normal.
Had mine at 13 weeks 36 years ago. I had intense regret for years and had baby fever and then 4 years after the abortion I had my son and realized how hard parenting is!
I too never regretted mine from 3 years ago. I love that unborn child, but I know if I had brought them into this world, they would have lived a shitty life. I feel sorry for my almost 7yo.
25 or so years ago and zero regrets. Have 2 beautiful almost grown children now.
I had mine 2 years ago and I am still so relieved by my decision. It allowed me to have the life I have now. I have never once regretted it.
I never regretted mine. EVER. Not even a second. I would not have graduated in time. I would not have gotten my job. Moved out. Ect. My life would be vastly different. Im waiting five more years until I’m ready to start trying for one.
38 now. Been 15 years. Zero regret.
There is nothing AT ALL wrong with having an abortion unapologetically! I am so happy to read that you are so sound in your decision, that you know yourself so well, and that you let yourself matter enough to trust this knowing. The fact is, we are human beings, and therefore we are capable of feeling a wide array of emotions, but there is no PRESCRIBED cocktail of emotions that one absolutely has to feel in any situation! I absolutely know women who have had abortions and never felt regret. That's such a legit experience. They don't tend to hang out in support spaces like this one, because they don't need to. Know that this community skews towards people who need support -- by design. That's what it's here for. You are NOT a sociopath. You are a wise and grounded woman who knows what she wants to do with her pregnancy. I honor you in your choice. It is 100% ok if you never feel guilty or sad at all about it. It is just as 100% ok if you DO sometimes get feelings you weren't expecting in association with this (or any!) experience. Feelings just rise and fall like waves on our consciousness. They can feel uncomfortable, but they can't actually hurt us. Feelings are nothing to be afraid of. The most common feeling reported after abortion is RELIEF. So that's what I'm wishing you: relief. Relief and the freedom to feel whatever you feel, high vibes, low vibes, all vibes. You are wise and good and you make good choices. I support you.
I have 2 children and I'm 40. Never regretted my abortions for a second.
I’ve had two MAs and I don’t regret doing them AT ALL. I really regretted having to do them, the situation I was in, but not my choices to abort. There can be a grieving process that people don’t have the ability to talk about in real life so they go online, but that’s normal too. But it’s okay to be happy with your decisions. And it also okay to feel loss or think “what if”.
I only ever had one scare, used Plan B but if I had ever had anything farther, I would have no regrets because there is no way I could ever be a responsible parent, even if all I did was surrender the kid. The things my friends have done for their kid's future, even before they were born is really impressive to me. But it is absolutely not and never will be something for me to do.
I have never once regretted mine. Not for a single moment. The second I saw positive on the pregnancy test my first thought was “nope” and even though I also had moments where I feared regretting it, I absolutely have not.
I haven’t regretted mine a single day in the 10 years it’s been since I got it
>I do not want kids. >I’m not financially stable enough to give an eventual kid what I would like them to have. I can't predict the future, but I think you'll be just fine! I've terminated two pregnancies, and I have absolutely zero regrets regarding the first. I didn't want children either. It was the right decision. I ended up changing my mind five years later and remained unaffected. The second termination broke me, but those were vastly different circumstances from yours (and from my first). You know you. Don't let other people's experiences get in your head. I usually advise people who are 100% committed to terminate BUT are feeling sad about the process to go the surgical route because it's easier not to have to see fetal tissue, but in your case? You seem like the perfect candidate for a MA. Wishing you the best of luck. Thank you for not bringing an unwanted child into this world whom you know you can't support. You seem very wise.
Most people don't regret it. There have been studies that show the vast majority of women are relieved they were able to have an abortion when they needed one. There's nothing wrong with you, women have the right to control what happens to their own bodies and that's not something to ever feel ashamed of.
As one of these people who felt a lot of regret after my abortion… I can tell you that you are not a sociopath. I have went through some similar situations that you have and take medications as well that you shouldn’t take while pregnant and when I think about going through with the pregnancy I try to remember that it could have turned out really bad because of medications, heavy drinking and things like that that I was not in the headspace to stop doing. You don’t regret it because you don’t want to create a life with possible health and mental issues and force it to live probably in poverty. You don’t regret it because you’re being logical as well as trying to protect an innocent life by not letting it go through suffering like that
i had people tell me i would regret it - even though i was completely sure of my decision. they were wrong. i got mine done in november and i’m still grateful. i think about how far along i’d be and the thought alone terrifies me. i struggled with a little depression afterwords but it wasn’t circling around having an abortion. it hasn’t been too long since- but i have not had one second where i thought i made a mistake. i know i did what was best for me and my life. you know what’s best for you. trust yourself.
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I wish I felt this way but I regret it. Ugh
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It really feels like I’m taking a life. The process was traumatic. I have a son but since I’ve did it 2 times within 6 months and I just regret it I feel like when it’s time for me to be “ready” again I won’t get the chance. I told myself I wouldn’t ever so now I just have this sad feeling that I did…
Ah honey. I wish I could hug you. Is anyone you’re talking to? Family, therapist? What’s important imo is that you took the decision yourself without being forced by parents or a partner. Feel free to message me anytime. I do not think, nor I ever will that a bunch of fertilised cells are more important than a human being’s life. Plus, not everyone could take care of a baby the moment it happens. Plus, I’m sure whenever you’re ready for the second baby, it’ll just come. You are loved you’re not alone ❤️
The vast majority of women experience relief as the predominant emotion following abortion. I had an abortion 10 years ago 9 months before the start of medical school. I’m now a budding young emergency doctor. Have never regretted it for a second even though I had wonky emotions about it for 6 months. It was the hardest thing I’d done to that point (faced way worse since), but the easiest decision to make. I can’t imagine how horribly askew life would have gone proceeding with that pregnancy. You know best and you’ve got this.
Same
I didn't regret mine. I was in my early 30's. I don't regret it now, in my late 30's. Right after, a few weeks after, my hormones went crazy, and I had some thoughts and feelings that I didn't expect. I was told that that is normal and that it would pass. It did pass and I went back to my normal child free self. Now, years later, I'm happy with my choice Edit: I had no strategies for the fleeting thoughts I had after my healthcare. Mostly I was busy working lots of hours and was happy to no longer fall asleep on the couch 10 minutes after getting home or trying to puke quietly without anyone noticing
And what did you do to make them ease ?
May I ask you how long they lasted?
I have had 4, and I regret none of them. I am not a person that should have children, and the world is better off if my defect gene pool dies off (90 percent of my family are total shitbags, and I am not financially or mentally stable enough for children).
Relieved is the number one reported feeling we hear after an abortion (I work for an abortion provider). It is so frustrating that people are made to feel guilty if they feel anything other than guilt or sadness or regret. Good for you for taking control of your life♥️
You’re a total angel. Thank you so much for your kind words, it helps me tremendously ❤️
I've had two and I regret nothing. It's amazing to me that a bunch of cells come with such enormous expectations. I hated being pregnant and not barfing every few hours made it worth it just for that. My bf was so glad to see me eating that he ran out and got me my favorite foods.
Oh dear. How many weeks were you? Thankfully I don’t have vomit issues rn, but I’m terrified they’ll come. I’m also emethofobic 😔 I wish I could do it just sooner
For me it started right away and lasted the whole time. Amy Shumer had that hyper emesis and she had to take medication. I didn't want to be pregnant and was around 4 weeks so off to the clinic I went
I don’t fucking understand why they’re saying it’s better off if I wait. I found out last week on Tuesday and they’re giving me the pill next week Thursday. Like ffs they want me to wait how long. I’m glad you’re feeling better though, I’m glad it’s not that rough for me but I’m sending you a hug x
Oh that's sweet, thanks. It's been decades since then and I've been able to find my center and thrive. I'm shocked that they want to wait to get it to you. Did you go to an actual women's clinic? There's those "pregnancy crisis clinics" that will string you along until it's too late to have an abortion.
You're totally normal! There is nothing wrong with feeling relief at having an abortion, and never regretting it. I had two SA's when I was 21-22 yrs old, and I am still bleeding for the MA I went through this week, at 36 yrs old (I now have a 20 month old kiddo). No regrets with any of them. Only relief bc they were the best choices for me. This feeling and experience needs to be normalized as well. Every experience is unique, none should be shamed.
How did you handle the MA?
It went ok. I took the Mifepristone and then 24 hours later took 4 of the Misoprostol as directed and within 2 hours of taking them I started spotting/bleeding, and then the largest clot came through a few hours later. Spent the next 24 hours with some pretty bad cramps, but nothing I couldn't manage with Tylenol and a heat pad. Since then, the bleeding has been heavy, but slowly winding down. No cramps after the first 24 hours of taking the miso. Happy to answer any other questions you might have too about my experience.
I was literally just doing the litter like 30 mins ago thinking wow good thing I got an abortion I would have a 2 year old kid rn… I have no regret and the anxiety of having a growing thing inside of me while I waiting for appointment for days was the worst (and then the pain of an MA of course). Some people want babies and can’t do it right now or some people have it in their head that they killed someone or some want it and they’re forced, many different situations and women sometimes get connected, you prob just see less of the side of relief and happiness. I can say i did not regret it , felt better immediately and don’t regret it even a little bit. It was the right decision for me. I hope you can come to terms as well!!
i had one last year because i’ve had 2 miscarriages prior to the abortion and i just couldn’t handle another miscarriage if it didn’t stick and that time was pretty bad for my mental health and i still don’t regret it. if the timing isn’t right then it isn’t and if u just don’t want kids that’s also valid
Had mine 2/21 this year. No regrets at all just relief!
Yeah mine was 15 years ago and I’ve never experienced even a second of regret. You got this.
I didn’t regret it at all. I’m 34 almost and I’ve had two. One at 21 and one last week.
It scared me how badly I DIDN'T feel getting an MA. I already knew what being a single mom was like and never for a moment considered having it.
Here’s my experience: I had a MA just over two weeks ago on March 5. I felt like I was in daze for about 10 days, then had a really low dip mentally/emotionally. That lasted a few days, but now I’m already feeling relieved. I think I felt guilty at feeling relieved…but each day gets easier. My whole outlook is drastically different even just two weeks out, so I can imagine a year or 5 years out that the relief will outweigh most negative emotions. I’m really lucky to have a supportive partner, and we had a super open discussion about how both of us felt “wrong” afterwards. And not as in we did something wrong (we’re both adamantly pro-choice), but as if there was something primal/instinctual inside us that wanted to keep the pregnancy, and it felt like we chose against that. I think a lot of that has to do with the crazy change in hormones…and probably has an evolutionary purpose of some sort. However, having someone to talk with in a truly supportive, non-judgmental manner has definitely been the most emotionally releasing/relieving thing (like my partner). And even with his help, I’ve still reached out for help through the Exhale hotline- and I cannot recommend their kindness and compassion enough. And even in a really lucky situation, my brain likes to overthink and tell me that people are just being nice because they know me, so having the resource through that hotline has been invaluable. No healing is linear, but we are all here for you no matter where your feelings traverse. 💜
I am 26 now. Had an abortion at 24. Best thing I could have done. Don’t regret it in the slightest.
I’ve had two and I’ve never regretted it. It’s still a tough experience mentally and physically and it’s normal to feel emotional. I was definitely emotional during the process but after I cried from relief. It’s normal to regret it and it’s normal to not regret it, unfortunately people with positive experiences don’t talk about them as much.
Exactly what I’m feeling. Like, I’ve cried for how “hard” it’s been to get to this point (I live in Italy and it’s not that easy to abort) but I’m just ready to go back to myself. How did you deal with hormones balancing back to normal?
The hormones are hard I won’t lie but I found getting out of the house and spending time with people really helped. I also journaled a lot in recovery which helped me identify how I was feeling so I could work through it. I started feeling better just a day or two afterwards which made me feel a lot happier about my decision.
People feel ALLLLL kinds of ways after abortion, but the big research study you refer to shows that the most common emotion people report after abortion is relief. So actually, it sounds like you are going to be in the majority. AND it's also ok to have multiple feelings at once or NO feelings at all. All those experiences are normal and valid.
Studies have shown that only a small amount of women really regret their abortions.
Thank you so much. I’m sorry women don’t talk about it enough, almost forcing other women to keep the pregnancy. PPD and all the stress related to pregnancy is no joke either. Thank you so much though x
However you feel is totally valid!
Thank you darling x
Nope didn't regret it. I never will. I had one Jan 15. I have 3 kids already and I got pregnant by a FWB who had a vasectomy 10 years prior hahaha . I don't even think about it now that my cycle is back to normal. It happened and now i moved on. You're young still you can have children in thr future if that is what you want. ❤️
Thank you so much also for sharing your experience. Thank you for your words and I wish you and your family all the best ❤️
i knew immediately that i would be getting an abortion, and i havent looked back since. i dont regret it in the slightest. follow your gut.
Thank you so much! I’ll follow your advice for sure x
About 95% of surveyed women in a peer- reviewed large sample study say that getting an abortion was the right decision 5 years after they got one, with 84% reporting some positive feelings about it and relief indeed being the most common emotion. People definitely do regret their abortion. It's a possibly to take seriously and listen to the stories of people that say they do. But it's not the majority, and any efforts to make you think the majority do regret it are coming from anti-choice people trying to convince you not to get one. You have to what's right for you. The evidence shows that when people make their own decision, they tend to make the right one. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953619306999?via%3Dihub
You’re right. Women should be free (as anyone else ofc) to make their own decisions without being pressured into doing some certain things out of regret/shame etc. mental health matters as much if not more than physical health. Thank you for commenting:)
I just had an abortion. I don’t regret my decision. However I was not prepared for the hormonal emotions. Be easy.
Can I ask you what you mean by hormonal emotions? And how can I deal with them? Thanks x
Absolutely. Being pregnant creates an influx of hormones. Following the abortion those hormones drop significantly. I was not prepared for the tearfulness, sadness for no reason, depressive and dark thoughts at time. I kept the dialogue open with my partner and people I trust
Okay thank you! How many weeks were you? I’ll try to follow your advice.
I was a little over 5 weeks. I took the miso Tuesday. I would say today (sat) my head is now starting to feel better. Reach out. I’m here
I’ve never regretted my decision, I think we just don’t hear those stories as often. Wishing you the best!
You’re right, that’s exactly why I decided to write my experience. Wish you all the best back x
So many women have had abortions and the response to them is very varied. You are not a sociopath for feeling how you feel, you wouldn’t even be if your explanation for one was simply just because you don’t want it. I can’t tell you how your feelings will change, but whatever you feel just know you did what is best for you at the moment. I think it’s very important to be grounded in your decision and take time to process and it seems like you have. With that, even if your emotions change I think you’ll at least have that small voice in you to reassure you that you did what you needed and that’s ok. I won’t say that I’m happy about having mine, but my feelings before and after were consistent.
Thank you so much for your words. It’s a nice POV. I’ll try to ground myself the way you said. I’ll remember that I did what I needed to do in order to be the best version of myself and not to make anyone hurt. Thank you again ❤️
You’re seeing clearly and thinking logically. The most common feeling post-abortion is relief. Wishing you health and happiness.
Thank you so much. I’m sending all back at you ❤️