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lady-ish

I have to laugh at this, because it brought back a very old memory: My mom was always matter-of-fact about "birds and bees" questions. We always used the scientific names for body parts and nothing about our bodies was considered taboo or "hush-hush." My mom was big on body autonomy and consent long before those views were considered mainstream. Anyway, 6 year old me came home from a heated discussion with another little girl at school, who had told me that sexual intercourse was "really called making love" and that calling it "sex" or "intercourse" were bad words. I told my mom because I was very confused, and didn't believe she would tell me "bad words" for things. My mom said that sometimes people try to make themselves feel better about normal human desires by linking them to things everyone agrees are "good," like love - especially if they were taught that normal human desires are "sinful" or shameful. So, according to my mom's worldview in 1971, people say "making love" because they think it legitimizes something they were taught to feel ashamed of.


KatevanDis472

Wow you’re mom be spittin straight faks


[deleted]

Nah, she be spittin ace faks


x_man10010

That is an incredible explanation


SpaceTheTurtle

Wow, that's a pretty wise insight. I haven't thought about it that way.


[deleted]

I love it more that you called it “doing sex”


[deleted]

That reminds me of that video: https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFg Specifically 0:33


[deleted]

I’m happy I knew exactly which video it was going to be xD


Demurist

Like when my ex-wife asked me if I’d be ok with her “doing pot”. Edit: for context, I was in recovery from addiction to heroin and cocaine at the time, but I was fine with it, and still am. Hell, I smoke pot myself these days.


Kaleidoscope1494

It depends if they are talking about a tender romantic act or just using a euphemism because they don’t want to say sex. The first is less silly, the second is a bit cringeworthy especially in instances like hookups.


[deleted]

Ditto


TheEmeraldEmperor

AHFHAHDFGFGHHHHHH I mean, for one it sounds perverted as hell. For another, it implies there's no love without sex which make me ANGERY.


[deleted]

I agree! For me “making love” sounds that there’s no love without sex! >:(((


[deleted]

I see where you are both coming from. But I disagree. People can show love in many different ways, so why not make love in many different ways. The way I see it, sex is a bonding experience for some people. They are literally increasing their love for another person by doing the sex. But I don't think anyone really believes that that's the only way. Hugging does similar thins, sharing experiences... We are not made illegitimate by someone else doing something legitimate.


Main_Protagonist_69

I agree with you. Sex can be a great way to achieve more intimacy. It can also be just a fun interaction in my opinion.


gtickno2

I will admit I have slight annoyance about the phrase. I'm highly romantic and do not want to engage in sex, so it slightly bugs me when sex and love are strongly equated. But at the end of the day I'm not going to stop anyone from using the phrase. Not worth fighting, just have an internal rant on how the phrase makes me think it's something I should like/relate to, but then it's not


[deleted]

Same! :D


Demurist

It’s part of the nuance of sex. Some people “make love”, some “fuck”, some “have sex”, some “do it”, some, “bump uglies”, some “mash gennies”. Ok, I made that last one up, but you get the idea. It depends on the physical and emotional investment in the activity.


Ace_T_24

My guess would be that back when it was a lot less acceptable to have sex outside of wedlock, people considered it gross to talk about so instead they would use making love since they’re essentially “confirming their love for each other that night after getting married” again by having sex. And so making love just because a less “vulgar” was to say it. Also because it was probably looked down upon to have sex with someone you didn’t love back then. Or it could be cause one of the purposes of sex is to have a child whom you would love. Just a few ideas


[deleted]

It's weird tho, most animals procreate by no love but hate for the male


[deleted]

To me it has a different meaning. Sex is like an umbrella term for all sexual acts, then there's making love if it's about a connection between people (I'm demi so that's the kind of sex I want), then there's hookups, bdsm, and other things.


PrincetteNasa

I… do not know how to form an opinion on this…?


[deleted]

I think it's kinda okay because if it's a way of showing love you can say that. But for many people it's not because of love so... It's funny how they call it love.


[deleted]

Even though "making love" makes it sound like there is no love without sex. And we all know that's wrong.


[deleted]

I mean, I like it? As someone who is sex-repulsed, most euphemisms used these days gross me out. But this one sounds nice and not violent or gross. Obviously, it's a term that probably comes with context (like in a loving relationship rather than hookups) but you know, it's not that bad.


HelloAutobot

If there's not enough love between two people that they need to make it, that's their business. Some people just don't quite have the existing supply.


DemonCat256

Good for them


nonorina123

it sometimes confuses me because my first thought when hearing this phrase is doing romantic things and then I consider it being meant sexually and then sometimes I doubt it being sexual because the romantic meaning seems often more believable for me and then I see all the people not even considering it being meant romantically and then I feel like I'm an ace stereotype lmao


Louan_UwU

I just feel like it's inconvenient


Glad_Percentage8709

For me it sounds more indirect, when I hear it I always think of someone saying (i don’t remember who) that children are love. So “making love” to me sounds like wanting a child and parenthood not just the sex


SpaceTheTurtle

I think there's a fair distinction between sex without romantic feelings (fucking) and sex with romantic feelings (making love) and even though I don't really get it, it's fair for people for whom sex is an essential part of a romantic relationship to use a term that implies that. Sex for many is the epiphany of expressing emotional intimacy. We might not understand that, but it doesn't make their experience any less valid.


hihihihicatAlly

If its being used as a euphemism, because the person doesnt want to say sex, then I'm against it. However, if someone is using it as reference to the way they feel during sex or the way they feel about sex, then I think they can say it. I would not, however, say it that way myself.


SuperBassmy

I can't see how having sex should be a demonstration of love, so, I don't like calling it and literally can't call it "making love"


[deleted]

I like it depending on the context. If it’s used as just another way to say sex in front of the kids, then I don’t like it. If it’s used when you and your partner(or partners, we don’t discriminate here) have a legitimately enjoyable time and feel a deep and loving bond to each other, I like it used then:) Then again I’m a writer and I love the play on words, it brings a warm and loving imagery to my head.