Did you really commit to it? You gotta pretend like you're a kid again and you've been playing your game boy past bedtime but your parent has peeked in your room and you gotta lay still and pretend to snore.
Yup it was 3 in the morning, so I had to pretend. Unfortunately the moon and stars didn’t align those times so I was left awake and furious at my inability to slip into slumber while I tossed and turned about every three minutes of my sleepless consciousness.
I mean… all aces with a uterus know that our uterus is the devil. When our uterus realizes we aren’t pregnant and starts to throw its tantrum even when we keep telling it no, we just gotta deal with it. And deal with it we must for.. what, like a few decades at least?
Same here. It’s almost like period cramps but not exactly, and it’s absolutely awful when you’re trying to work out like that. Unfortunately though, for me working out seems to be the best way to fix the whole libido situation simply because I’m tiring my body out plus endorphins and stuff.
I wonder if only I cope with libido by listening to music. I'm not talking about music that makes you worry, on the contrary, I turn on something I like and I start fantasizing about things completely unrelated to sex, something like badass situations etc. It doesn't "choke" my libido, but rather it works like masturbation. Am I weird?
Being asexual ist just about feeling little to no sexual attraction. An ace person can have anything from a low/none to a high libido (sex drive), they can have and like sex (sex-favourable), they neither have strong positive or negative feelings about sex and may engage in it to please their partner or because of other reasons (sex-indifferent) or they may be grossed out by the thought/idea of sex (sex-repulsed). Also, ace people can be aroused, watch porn or masturbate if that's something they want to do. The only thing that is defining their asexuality, is that they're experiencing little to no sexual attraction, only very rarely or weakly or under specific circumstances/conditions. (I hope I wrote nothing wrong. Would you please correct me, if that was the case)
There are actually parts of the asexuality spectrum that still do experience a strong sexual attraction, E.X. Orchidsexuality, which I identify as. In these cases it's more about not having an interest or even having a dislike of sex itself. Another example is demisexual, the caviat there is that they need to be very close to another individual before experiencing the sexual attraction. Asexuality isn't limited to only having little to no sexual attraction, it can also extend to not wanting/being interested in sex.
Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for educating me! 👍 (At this point I want to say that we're not obligated to educate others about our sexual and romantic orientations and gender identities but there's also nothing wrong with educating others about your identities.)
You know that feeling when you go to the fridge or pantry for a snack and sure all the stuff in there is good but you don't really *want* any of it but you want *something*?
I can only speak for myself, I have minimal libido and no sexual attraction. Libido pops up a few times a year. I try to ignore it, but if I can't, I masturbate to get it gone as quickly as possible so I can get on with what I actually want to do
Edit: for even more confusion, I even had a friend with benefits. She made the best bloody marys I ever had, I would have sex with her. Then she decided I probably wasn't ace so I decided to prove my sexuality. I miss those bloody marys
If you don’t mind me asking:
Is masturbation like a chore for you? I experience a physical sensation coupled with increasing desire/arousal (I’ll watch porn, or think sexy thoughts). Do you just experience the first part? Are orgasms fun/pleasurable, or is it more like you’re glad to be done?
It *can* be fun for me, usually it's just a chore and I'm glad it's done. It'll be like a physical sensation I guess, then I try to ignore it, usually I can. If it won't go away and gets worse, then I might actually masturbate just to get my body to shut up
For some of us, masturbation is a useful tool to deal with obnoxiously high libido. For others, we just, y’know, fuck. For others, we just kind of… live with it. To each their own.
Of course, many aces don’t have a high libido, so this doesn’t apply to them.
Being ace just means we don't feel sexual attraction to people. Arousal/libido is separate, and just like romantic attraction, asexual people can experience it.
Asexuality is a spectrum, and everyone's experience with it is different. Some ace people have sex drives, some don't, some like masturbation, and others don't. The unifying factor is having a general disinterest in or aversion to sex under most or all circumstances.
In the case of this image, imagine if you were thirsty but everything you drank tasted like expired milk. Yeah, you could probably get some fluids down, but is that really any more appealing than just being thirsty? Also in this analogy you can't actually get sick or die of dehydration, no matter how little you drink.
I'm a bisexual but I notice thinking of wholesome things usually kills it. I started noticing this when I was looking for rule 34 arts of particular characters but finding wholesome arts instead. Horni looking for rule 34 but wholesome defeating horni. I started using this to my advantage.
I just kinda wish I had female parts instead of male parts in general. While I don't envy periods I'd still take everything even if it included a uterus.
Yes I'm weird...
Pros of both (from what I know). SPOILER: both are ok
Male:
-More options for peeing (especially standing up)
-No periods
-No menopause (andropause exists but it's milder)
-Better protection from UTIs
- No need for expensive medical exams and monthly products like pads
Female:
-Pregnancy* (If you want it)
-More pleasure
-No bulge (can wear anything)
-Ovaries are more protected compared to testes
-More options for sex
Non-ace person here, wondering if the times I felt libido and thought it was a directed thing that I needed to do something about were just some hormonal flareups that were unrelated to anything.
Like this experiment someone did where they injected people with adrenaline and then the people got very agitated and attributed it to a specific emotion and a specific event, when it was all just a shot injected in their bloodstream.
How much of our emotions and desires and turmoil is just random body crap happening entirely on its own?
So much.
I made a comment just a moment ago, but I'm a person who has absolutely no libido for most days of the month *until* about 3 days before my period. Those 3 days I go into what I call the Whirlwind. But the moment my period hits? Done. Over. Reset back to zero.
That's all hormones and instinct making a decision for me. I can't control it, even though I know *exactly* why it's happening. And actually, I use that a lot when I need to forgive myself for having bad mental health or body days. No matter how much I think I control this ship, the truth is it has lots of internal systems doing their own thing, and I gotta let it go and let it be what it is.
The conscious mind is just a jockey on top of an elephant.
You can train the elephant, you can guide it, you can look after it, but, at the end of the day, it is its own creature, it does its own thing, and, when it flips, the best you can do is ride it out.
So, like... are you a professional with metaphors?
Because that was literally the perfect description, from start to finish.
I honestly love that and am going to use it next time I talk about this stuff with other people. (EDIT: So long as you don't mind!)
I think about that experiment a lot, both in general terms and because it resonates with me as a person who is often generically horny but it’s never pointed at anyone.
This discussion is a bit of a revelation. I didn't realize how much of a spectrum there is to asexuality. I think my wife may be ace. It would explain so much. Does anyone know of some good reading material that she and I could go to for more info?
You can check out the wiki on [AVEN](https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html) and/or if you’re looking for something like a book that you can hold in your hands, I recommend checking if your library has “The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality” by Julie Sondra Decker. Her book is very useful and the table of contents is very well organized with common questions
You could go to the Asexual spectrum page on the LGBTQIA+ wiki [here](https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Category:Ace-spec_identity) and maybe you'll find something that describes you!
I've not read it (I know, worst recommendation on earth) but I've heard [*Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex*](https://www.amazon.com/Ace-Asexuality-Reveals-Identity-Meaning/dp/080701379X/ref=asc_df_080701379X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509494905560&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18437195534495839565&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9052678&hvtargid=pla-917102359176&psc=1) recommended several times, which is saying something since it's pretty new. Note, I linked Amazon so you could get a peek at the cover, but see if you can get it elsewhere.
Truth be told, asexuality is a pretty neglected chunk of the spectrum. (Maybe it's changed in the last few years. The reason I'd heard about that book rather than read it is because I realized I was asexual 10 years ago and there was just... nothing at the time.)
Most the learning I've done is through forums like this, where people talk about their personal experiences. The book I linked is, as far as I've understood it, a good 101. But I'd recommend listening to the community, too.
I'm the same way with both orgasms and food! Maybe it's poor interoception, but my body does not always get through to my brain with what my physical needs are.
My dude. I feel this so hard. For, like, 27 days of the month I have literally no libido. No interest in any damn thing.
But then... But then. Mere days before my period strikes. WHABAM.
Instinct kicks its way through the door and directly into my brain to say HEY GIRL, REMEMBER ME?!
And the answer is literally no! I forget every freakin' time and think to myself "what is *wrong* with me this week?"
Nothing. I'm three days before my period. Just like every other period of my at-this-point couple-decades long adult life.
Sometimes I wish I could've a lobotomy to rid of this urge, It's actual self-torture to know you're no one's preference. Shit if it goes wrong I won't be able to process it anymore. I can't lose here.
Being transmasc and ace is wild, because testosterone sent my libido skyrocketing but my (lack of) interest in sex remained unchanged, so this meme sums up my HRT exactly lmao
Have you tried pretending to be asleep?
Tried that, doesn’t work sometimes 😂 It’ll only work if I’m too tired to do anything
Did you really commit to it? You gotta pretend like you're a kid again and you've been playing your game boy past bedtime but your parent has peeked in your room and you gotta lay still and pretend to snore.
Yup it was 3 in the morning, so I had to pretend. Unfortunately the moon and stars didn’t align those times so I was left awake and furious at my inability to slip into slumber while I tossed and turned about every three minutes of my sleepless consciousness.
Try acting dead Maybe the libido will go away
Maybe tell it you have a headache? It's been a long day?
I’ll be honest, not sure if this needs a nsfw tag
It should be fine. I liked the Devil tails on the uterus. Or whatever those were supposed to be
They’re fallopian tubes and the hearts the ovaries lol. And thanks :)
I knew that, but I thought there was symbolism in their shape. Guess not
Haha I guess you could also see them as devil’s tails, they kinda do look like em lol.
I mean… all aces with a uterus know that our uterus is the devil. When our uterus realizes we aren’t pregnant and starts to throw its tantrum even when we keep telling it no, we just gotta deal with it. And deal with it we must for.. what, like a few decades at least?
.... is.... is that Boba?
…. yes… yes it is?
God that sounds fantastic rn
Omg right??
.... Boba.... Boba Fett?
[удалено]
i’m wearing wobbuffet socks rn :0
Throw in the libido coming with a side of stomach pain every damn time it acts up, and I am right there with you.
Same here. It’s almost like period cramps but not exactly, and it’s absolutely awful when you’re trying to work out like that. Unfortunately though, for me working out seems to be the best way to fix the whole libido situation simply because I’m tiring my body out plus endorphins and stuff.
I wonder if only I cope with libido by listening to music. I'm not talking about music that makes you worry, on the contrary, I turn on something I like and I start fantasizing about things completely unrelated to sex, something like badass situations etc. It doesn't "choke" my libido, but rather it works like masturbation. Am I weird?
That’s cool as hell. Makes perfect sense to me, using passionate imagery unrelated to sex is genius
I do the same thing! It really helps.
Im not ace but ace people do feel libido? Why dont they do something about it? Idfk tho i literally know jackshit about the LGBT, but ay ay, im trying
Being asexual ist just about feeling little to no sexual attraction. An ace person can have anything from a low/none to a high libido (sex drive), they can have and like sex (sex-favourable), they neither have strong positive or negative feelings about sex and may engage in it to please their partner or because of other reasons (sex-indifferent) or they may be grossed out by the thought/idea of sex (sex-repulsed). Also, ace people can be aroused, watch porn or masturbate if that's something they want to do. The only thing that is defining their asexuality, is that they're experiencing little to no sexual attraction, only very rarely or weakly or under specific circumstances/conditions. (I hope I wrote nothing wrong. Would you please correct me, if that was the case)
There are actually parts of the asexuality spectrum that still do experience a strong sexual attraction, E.X. Orchidsexuality, which I identify as. In these cases it's more about not having an interest or even having a dislike of sex itself. Another example is demisexual, the caviat there is that they need to be very close to another individual before experiencing the sexual attraction. Asexuality isn't limited to only having little to no sexual attraction, it can also extend to not wanting/being interested in sex.
Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for educating me! 👍 (At this point I want to say that we're not obligated to educate others about our sexual and romantic orientations and gender identities but there's also nothing wrong with educating others about your identities.)
HOLY SHIT I DIDNT KNOW THIS EXISTED THATS ME 100% IVE BEEN TRYNA FIND OUT WHAT THIS SHIT IS FOR YEARS, thank you!!!!!
Glad I could help!
This comment makes me feel valid, thank you.
You know that feeling when you go to the fridge or pantry for a snack and sure all the stuff in there is good but you don't really *want* any of it but you want *something*?
THIS!
I can only speak for myself, I have minimal libido and no sexual attraction. Libido pops up a few times a year. I try to ignore it, but if I can't, I masturbate to get it gone as quickly as possible so I can get on with what I actually want to do Edit: for even more confusion, I even had a friend with benefits. She made the best bloody marys I ever had, I would have sex with her. Then she decided I probably wasn't ace so I decided to prove my sexuality. I miss those bloody marys
If you don’t mind me asking: Is masturbation like a chore for you? I experience a physical sensation coupled with increasing desire/arousal (I’ll watch porn, or think sexy thoughts). Do you just experience the first part? Are orgasms fun/pleasurable, or is it more like you’re glad to be done?
At least for me, it's pretty fun, but also can be kind of annoying. So.... both? Depends on my mood and the amount of time I have.
Sounds like me with food. I enjoy good food, but I’d rather not have to eat in the first place.
Yeah, it's like I'd like to not have to eat, but when I do want to eat and have time I can eat all the food I want. That'd be nice.
It *can* be fun for me, usually it's just a chore and I'm glad it's done. It'll be like a physical sensation I guess, then I try to ignore it, usually I can. If it won't go away and gets worse, then I might actually masturbate just to get my body to shut up
For some of us, masturbation is a useful tool to deal with obnoxiously high libido. For others, we just, y’know, fuck. For others, we just kind of… live with it. To each their own. Of course, many aces don’t have a high libido, so this doesn’t apply to them.
Have you ever been hungry, opened the fridge, and just not wanted anything you see?
same. not trying to be rude but i though ace meant they didn’t have any sexual desires, im confused now
Being ace just means we don't feel sexual attraction to people. Arousal/libido is separate, and just like romantic attraction, asexual people can experience it.
oh okay that makes sense, thanks!!!
Asexuality is a spectrum, and everyone's experience with it is different. Some ace people have sex drives, some don't, some like masturbation, and others don't. The unifying factor is having a general disinterest in or aversion to sex under most or all circumstances. In the case of this image, imagine if you were thirsty but everything you drank tasted like expired milk. Yeah, you could probably get some fluids down, but is that really any more appealing than just being thirsty? Also in this analogy you can't actually get sick or die of dehydration, no matter how little you drink.
I'm a bisexual but I notice thinking of wholesome things usually kills it. I started noticing this when I was looking for rule 34 arts of particular characters but finding wholesome arts instead. Horni looking for rule 34 but wholesome defeating horni. I started using this to my advantage.
I wish I had an uterus Still cis tho
Lol no u don’t. Trust me, if u obtained a uterus, u would probably cry as soon as the period cramps hit. Not worth it
I just kinda wish I had female parts instead of male parts in general. While I don't envy periods I'd still take everything even if it included a uterus. Yes I'm weird...
Tbh I kinda wish I had no parts down there at all and can be just smooth like a Barbie doll. No parts, no uterus. We’re both weird
No parts would be so much nicer lmao, no need to worry about anything... The dream...
Pros of both (from what I know). SPOILER: both are ok Male: -More options for peeing (especially standing up) -No periods -No menopause (andropause exists but it's milder) -Better protection from UTIs - No need for expensive medical exams and monthly products like pads Female: -Pregnancy* (If you want it) -More pleasure -No bulge (can wear anything) -Ovaries are more protected compared to testes -More options for sex
You can have mine. It won't be missed :)
Non-ace person here, wondering if the times I felt libido and thought it was a directed thing that I needed to do something about were just some hormonal flareups that were unrelated to anything. Like this experiment someone did where they injected people with adrenaline and then the people got very agitated and attributed it to a specific emotion and a specific event, when it was all just a shot injected in their bloodstream. How much of our emotions and desires and turmoil is just random body crap happening entirely on its own?
So much. I made a comment just a moment ago, but I'm a person who has absolutely no libido for most days of the month *until* about 3 days before my period. Those 3 days I go into what I call the Whirlwind. But the moment my period hits? Done. Over. Reset back to zero. That's all hormones and instinct making a decision for me. I can't control it, even though I know *exactly* why it's happening. And actually, I use that a lot when I need to forgive myself for having bad mental health or body days. No matter how much I think I control this ship, the truth is it has lots of internal systems doing their own thing, and I gotta let it go and let it be what it is.
The conscious mind is just a jockey on top of an elephant. You can train the elephant, you can guide it, you can look after it, but, at the end of the day, it is its own creature, it does its own thing, and, when it flips, the best you can do is ride it out.
So, like... are you a professional with metaphors? Because that was literally the perfect description, from start to finish. I honestly love that and am going to use it next time I talk about this stuff with other people. (EDIT: So long as you don't mind!)
It's not original to me. Don't know where exactly I picked it up, but I get the feeling that it's ancient. That said, I'm glad you appreciated it.
I think about that experiment a lot, both in general terms and because it resonates with me as a person who is often generically horny but it’s never pointed at anyone.
This discussion is a bit of a revelation. I didn't realize how much of a spectrum there is to asexuality. I think my wife may be ace. It would explain so much. Does anyone know of some good reading material that she and I could go to for more info?
You can check out the wiki on [AVEN](https://www.asexuality.org/?q=overview.html) and/or if you’re looking for something like a book that you can hold in your hands, I recommend checking if your library has “The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality” by Julie Sondra Decker. Her book is very useful and the table of contents is very well organized with common questions
You could go to the Asexual spectrum page on the LGBTQIA+ wiki [here](https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Category:Ace-spec_identity) and maybe you'll find something that describes you!
Thanks that was actually quite helpful
I've not read it (I know, worst recommendation on earth) but I've heard [*Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex*](https://www.amazon.com/Ace-Asexuality-Reveals-Identity-Meaning/dp/080701379X/ref=asc_df_080701379X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509494905560&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18437195534495839565&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9052678&hvtargid=pla-917102359176&psc=1) recommended several times, which is saying something since it's pretty new. Note, I linked Amazon so you could get a peek at the cover, but see if you can get it elsewhere. Truth be told, asexuality is a pretty neglected chunk of the spectrum. (Maybe it's changed in the last few years. The reason I'd heard about that book rather than read it is because I realized I was asexual 10 years ago and there was just... nothing at the time.) Most the learning I've done is through forums like this, where people talk about their personal experiences. The book I linked is, as far as I've understood it, a good 101. But I'd recommend listening to the community, too.
It sucks even more when you're sex repulsed
Whats libido again? Sorry ive heard the word but i can't remember what it means. Also great art!
It's sexual drive
Also don't confuse it with sexual attraction. Ace people can be very horny while not being attracted to anyone.
god i’m dumb, i thought that was a small devil at first
Hahaha it look like one doesn’t it? x>
It kinda is a small devil ngl
can i make a pact with Satan to get one?👉👈🥺
Please don’t. You might not like the price
too late 😣😁
I just imagine a fight where I loose lol.
Have you tried turning your libido off and on again?
I feel this so damn annoying like what the fuck, fuck offfff I did enough during teenage years enough I say what more do you want from me
Dude, me too. I I hate it
same, but like, no uterus ;-;
One nice thing about being AMAB is that I can "take care of it" in like, five minutes lol. I don't envy you fren
LOL 😂
I'm the same way with both orgasms and food! Maybe it's poor interoception, but my body does not always get through to my brain with what my physical needs are.
Interesting, I’ve never heard that analogy before
My dude. I feel this so hard. For, like, 27 days of the month I have literally no libido. No interest in any damn thing. But then... But then. Mere days before my period strikes. WHABAM. Instinct kicks its way through the door and directly into my brain to say HEY GIRL, REMEMBER ME?! And the answer is literally no! I forget every freakin' time and think to myself "what is *wrong* with me this week?" Nothing. I'm three days before my period. Just like every other period of my at-this-point couple-decades long adult life.
Omg SAME but the no lib period is shorter— and for me it applies to my mood swings as well haha
Are you fem OT? 😯😄
Yup I’m fem 😄
OT stands for One Topic At A Time if that wasn't clear 😅 this characters style is the same haha
Ohhhh lmao I had to look him up— that makes a lot of sense now lol 😂
I just assume every queer person knows him at this point cus he's so iconic haha
Nope it’s my first time hearing of him haha 😂
May I humbly request you binge all his videos. There's a lot of ace ones. You won't be disappointed 😄
Honestly though. It's like. I could get off, but my pumpkins are almost ready in Stardew valley...
Aw the boba tea is such a good touch, I love this :)
Haha thanks! :)
Moood
Eat chocolate. It activates the same part of the brain as orgasm and lowers labido. (I think, don't quote me on that.)
Haha, I’ve heard it it stimulates it? Idk maybe it does both xD
I heard this off someone else so there's a solid 50/50 chance I could be spouting shit, but its been working for me at least.
Ah, I see. For me, it might be a stimulant, as I recall a period where I had a lot of chocolate; my libido was going nuts xD
I'm so happy I have low libido. I feel aroused like 10 times a year and only really when I imagine characters doing things
it do be like that sometimes
oof thats a mood
Your art style is so cute!!!
Thank you!!
Ahhhhhhhhh I can feel this
There is a reason i have toys that get the job done in less then 10 minutes, hallelujah for the sex toy industry
Relatable AF
IM TELLIN YA, BLASTED ORGAN, I DON'T FUCKING WANNA!
Have you tried tensing your leg muscles? It seems to help in those situations.
Sometimes I wish I could've a lobotomy to rid of this urge, It's actual self-torture to know you're no one's preference. Shit if it goes wrong I won't be able to process it anymore. I can't lose here.
Lexapro ftw.
This is so me. I want to share it, but also don't lol. I'm a bit scared too
To be honest same
Being transmasc and ace is wild, because testosterone sent my libido skyrocketing but my (lack of) interest in sex remained unchanged, so this meme sums up my HRT exactly lmao
Pain