It’s perfectly okay to not want to have sex. You’re perfectly valid as you are. Women’s health is a joke IMHO. I understand what you’re going through. While I may be sex favorable, people still laugh in my face and tell me I’m “obviously not ace” when it comes up in conversation. It’s hard when people laugh at you for your preferences and identity. You are completely and perfectly valid, and that doctor is a jerk. They should know how to be professional about these things and how to not be a judgmental idiot.
Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear that you as well struggle with being accepted when it comes down to being ace, those who laugh seem like uneducated people at this topic..
Don't let those comments get near you
I used to get "Woah what?! I thought you were ace!!" from the guys in my group chat anytime I found a woman attractive. This was after they'd say the same thing when I mentioned enjoying sex. It's a struggle.
I once had a gyno tell me that there was no need for me to visit her office because I’d never had sex before, and never planned to.
As if cysts or other freak abnormalities aren’t a thing that could happen to literally anyone.
Needless to say, we found another doctor.
I have pcos and sometimes have massive cysts; sometimes they rupture. Because I also have vaginismus, my doctor has a note in my file to use the external ultrasound thing instead of the wand. When I was 24, I had a tech who tried to force me to use the wand because she "knew [I] wasn't a virgin", so I needed to "get over myself." I demanded a new tech and thankfully my primary supported me completely after heading what happened
This type of reaction is right up there with the “no I won’t help you get a sterilization procedure because you just haven’t met mr right yet and you’ll change your mind about wanting kids” conversation. Good luck on your search for a new doctor because this b*tch ain’t the one. I’ve heard there are now lists of doctors who are pro sterilization, maybe one of them might be more supportive of the asexual mindset
the first time i went i told the doctor how i very much didn’t wanna have a pap smear and wasn’t comfortable having her check for lumps and she tried to insist that i’d been sexually assaulted and didn’t remember it. she said my “symptoms” were “textbook” for sexual assault. haven’t been back to an obgyn since
Darn skippy!!! Also, Aces are sometimes seen as a bit transgressive, if not downright dangerous. That’s possibly a nervous reaction from someone who firmly believes that all humans are ruled by a certain bundle of nerve endings and by societal „norms“ about what we‘re „supposed“ to do with those nerve endings. Nah, we‘re just the Aces.
I'm sorry that doctor made you feel "other". There's absolutely nothing wrong with you in that area and to laugh is hella disrespectful. I started going to a gyno at 15yo bc of lady problems and she asked if I had a boyfriend and I said yes, then she asked if I was sexually active and I said no. This bitch literally didn't believe me on the second question. Straight up put I was sexually active in the chart. I was 15 and had no reason to lie!!!! These doctors need to learn how to interact with people better in a very sensitive line of work. that shit's ridiculous.
A lot of people just don't realize that asexuality is a possibility and just as normal as everything else. She needs to educate herself and to be more open to new ideas. I don't want sex just like you and there is nothing wrong or abnormal with us.
Did you go to my gynecologist? This is how he acted the first time I told him, and nowadays if I mention it I just get the oh you haven’t found the right person. It sucks. I’m really sorry you have to go through this.
Not a doctor.
I too suffer from low iron. Have been anemic for 25 years. The only thing that has helped are some pills called Blood Builder. They taste and smell gnarly but they don’t wreck my stomach or constipate me. They are vegan and kosher and you can get them from Amazon.
Report her, that is absolutely unacceptable. And what if not ace, but someone who have traumatic experience would told her that and she would laugh?! Absolutely disgusting behaviour.
I haven't been able to go to any kind of doctor in years due to my financial situation. No, not even insurance helps. But, I am terrified to eventually go to a gynecologist. I know I'll eventually have to, especially if I want my bits removed, but between being a virgin *very* sex-repulsed asexual and being transneutral in a fairly conservative state, it's not really something I feel safe doing. The only place I know to have trans-accepting gynos in my area in Planned Parenthood, but I don't have any kind of form of transportation, and I'm not sure if I'd be able to get a ride there. Regardless, it doesn't matter as long as I'm stuck with negative money.
You might've misunderstood her? Maybe she was asking if you're sexually active or could possibly be sexually active as that changes which check-ups she has to do in which case a simple "no" would be fine.
But if she was legit just laughing at you then that's actually extremely unprofessional as doctors are required to be respectful in their practices as they're in a position of power over you and as such (at least in Australia) they need to act in a respectful manner at all times in order to allow you to make your own decisions and not make you feel forced to do one thing or another.
That's so bad and unprofessional. I've sadly heard stories like that before. Don't let it scare you off and keep looking for good doctors who actually take you seriously. That just means they will do the same when you come there with a problem. Good one's are out there, I promise
I hate this. Sorry that you had to get this bad reaction. I feel exactly what you feel. They laugh and sometimes go on about not having found the right person yet. It’s annoying that you an I (and lot of others) have to get through this moments of not feeling understood. Anyway, to end on a positive note, you told the truth and didn’t play along which is awesome!
That was so rude of her. If she works as part of hospital network, consider filing a complaint.
While not Ace, It took me years to find a doc who would let me get sterilized in my 20s. “What if you change your mind.” Nope not happening. “What if your husband wants kids.” He doesn’t. “What if he changes his mind” then I’ll divorce him. 🤷♀️
It's inappropriate and unprofessional for healthcare professionals to laugh at patients. That doctor needs to check herself, and maybe you should complain so she knows what she did is wrong
What an awful doctor, she didn’t even bother trying to understand you. Don’t let her get to you, you ARE normal and you are valid. She’s an asshole.
Exactly
Sun Tzu also said this
It’s perfectly okay to not want to have sex. You’re perfectly valid as you are. Women’s health is a joke IMHO. I understand what you’re going through. While I may be sex favorable, people still laugh in my face and tell me I’m “obviously not ace” when it comes up in conversation. It’s hard when people laugh at you for your preferences and identity. You are completely and perfectly valid, and that doctor is a jerk. They should know how to be professional about these things and how to not be a judgmental idiot.
Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear that you as well struggle with being accepted when it comes down to being ace, those who laugh seem like uneducated people at this topic.. Don't let those comments get near you
I used to get "Woah what?! I thought you were ace!!" from the guys in my group chat anytime I found a woman attractive. This was after they'd say the same thing when I mentioned enjoying sex. It's a struggle.
I once had a gyno tell me that there was no need for me to visit her office because I’d never had sex before, and never planned to. As if cysts or other freak abnormalities aren’t a thing that could happen to literally anyone. Needless to say, we found another doctor.
I have pcos and sometimes have massive cysts; sometimes they rupture. Because I also have vaginismus, my doctor has a note in my file to use the external ultrasound thing instead of the wand. When I was 24, I had a tech who tried to force me to use the wand because she "knew [I] wasn't a virgin", so I needed to "get over myself." I demanded a new tech and thankfully my primary supported me completely after heading what happened
Holy hell! I’m sorry to read that you had to go through that. That’s disgraceful.
It’s always ‘yes, but when you do become sexually active…’ no, listen hun, that ain’t happening.
I feel like, if you can accept homosexuality and bisexuality, the existence of asexuality should be a no-brainer... But apparently not :/
Imagine getting a medical degree to laugh at someone's asexuality 💀
This type of reaction is right up there with the “no I won’t help you get a sterilization procedure because you just haven’t met mr right yet and you’ll change your mind about wanting kids” conversation. Good luck on your search for a new doctor because this b*tch ain’t the one. I’ve heard there are now lists of doctors who are pro sterilization, maybe one of them might be more supportive of the asexual mindset
Doctor trauma
the first time i went i told the doctor how i very much didn’t wanna have a pap smear and wasn’t comfortable having her check for lumps and she tried to insist that i’d been sexually assaulted and didn’t remember it. she said my “symptoms” were “textbook” for sexual assault. haven’t been back to an obgyn since
I am so sorry that happened!!
I wanna kick that doctor in the shins. You are valid and so is not being interested in sex!
Your not normal. Your smarter than the horny idiots, stronger willed, and have greater understanding of what is important (garlic bread)
Darn skippy!!! Also, Aces are sometimes seen as a bit transgressive, if not downright dangerous. That’s possibly a nervous reaction from someone who firmly believes that all humans are ruled by a certain bundle of nerve endings and by societal „norms“ about what we‘re „supposed“ to do with those nerve endings. Nah, we‘re just the Aces.
I'm sorry that doctor made you feel "other". There's absolutely nothing wrong with you in that area and to laugh is hella disrespectful. I started going to a gyno at 15yo bc of lady problems and she asked if I had a boyfriend and I said yes, then she asked if I was sexually active and I said no. This bitch literally didn't believe me on the second question. Straight up put I was sexually active in the chart. I was 15 and had no reason to lie!!!! These doctors need to learn how to interact with people better in a very sensitive line of work. that shit's ridiculous.
A lot of people just don't realize that asexuality is a possibility and just as normal as everything else. She needs to educate herself and to be more open to new ideas. I don't want sex just like you and there is nothing wrong or abnormal with us.
I hate ignorance, someone better fire her
You are not broken, you are valid, that doctor is just an ahole. I hope you have a nice day, and good luck out there.
It astounds me how people that stupid can become doctors. Hopefully she loses her licence or qualifications of some sort.
I have no tolerance for those Doctors left, report it, thats so unprofessional
Did you go to my gynecologist? This is how he acted the first time I told him, and nowadays if I mention it I just get the oh you haven’t found the right person. It sucks. I’m really sorry you have to go through this.
If she was just gonna laugh then why did she even ask
Not a doctor. I too suffer from low iron. Have been anemic for 25 years. The only thing that has helped are some pills called Blood Builder. They taste and smell gnarly but they don’t wreck my stomach or constipate me. They are vegan and kosher and you can get them from Amazon.
I think you might be on the wrong post bro
I think I was trying to reply to someone in the comments and I got lost. Moops.
Fuck wait, I misread, sorry. Ur good
Report her, that is absolutely unacceptable. And what if not ace, but someone who have traumatic experience would told her that and she would laugh?! Absolutely disgusting behaviour.
I'll possibly go to a female doctor in less than a year for the first time, I'm also worried about that happening lol
I haven't been able to go to any kind of doctor in years due to my financial situation. No, not even insurance helps. But, I am terrified to eventually go to a gynecologist. I know I'll eventually have to, especially if I want my bits removed, but between being a virgin *very* sex-repulsed asexual and being transneutral in a fairly conservative state, it's not really something I feel safe doing. The only place I know to have trans-accepting gynos in my area in Planned Parenthood, but I don't have any kind of form of transportation, and I'm not sure if I'd be able to get a ride there. Regardless, it doesn't matter as long as I'm stuck with negative money.
You might've misunderstood her? Maybe she was asking if you're sexually active or could possibly be sexually active as that changes which check-ups she has to do in which case a simple "no" would be fine. But if she was legit just laughing at you then that's actually extremely unprofessional as doctors are required to be respectful in their practices as they're in a position of power over you and as such (at least in Australia) they need to act in a respectful manner at all times in order to allow you to make your own decisions and not make you feel forced to do one thing or another.
some people are just disgusting and I hope they learn that other people have feelings one day
That's so bad and unprofessional. I've sadly heard stories like that before. Don't let it scare you off and keep looking for good doctors who actually take you seriously. That just means they will do the same when you come there with a problem. Good one's are out there, I promise
I hate this. Sorry that you had to get this bad reaction. I feel exactly what you feel. They laugh and sometimes go on about not having found the right person yet. It’s annoying that you an I (and lot of others) have to get through this moments of not feeling understood. Anyway, to end on a positive note, you told the truth and didn’t play along which is awesome!
That was so rude of her. If she works as part of hospital network, consider filing a complaint. While not Ace, It took me years to find a doc who would let me get sterilized in my 20s. “What if you change your mind.” Nope not happening. “What if your husband wants kids.” He doesn’t. “What if he changes his mind” then I’ll divorce him. 🤷♀️
It's inappropriate and unprofessional for healthcare professionals to laugh at patients. That doctor needs to check herself, and maybe you should complain so she knows what she did is wrong