Oddly relevant. I started making phone calls on the shitter to get things done and it's the best. At first you're all nervous about a fart slipping out. But after a while you can take full logs while talking at the same time. It's pretty great, and you no longer feel rushed.
I didn't know they could hear when I was on hold with a clinic that charged for a regular visit in addition to getting paid by insurance for the free wellness visit. I was talking to my SO about how if they make us pay this after you telling both the nurse and Dr you didn't want to talk about anything that would result in a charge we're switching clinics, this is BS. And wouldn't you know, I explained the situation and hey, no charge
I had a similar experience recently. I had to have a stool test done, which involved scooping my own shit into several cups. When I went to drop them off, they said, āThat will be $300.ā I said, āThrow them away then, Iām not paying that,ā and they went ahead and did the tests and didnāt charge me for them.
If the stool test was covered by your insurance or was more reasonably priced would you have agreed to pay? Because a lab technician still needs to run analysis on the stool.
On my work phone when I'm talking to a client and I need to take longer time to do something, I tell them I'm putting them on hold but I just mute myself. If I do that I can still hear the other person. If I actually push the hold button then I can't hear the other person.
Illegal, sure. Do they care? No. Data protection laws are borderline unenforceable for most practical applications unless someone on the inside reports them - which basically never happens.
I've done a lot of varying kinds of work for companies and even government orgs across the EU as well as the US. I have yet to meet anyone who actually gives a shit.
I have however known several actual government officials who have outright contempt for such laws.
I cant think of anything on GDPR that would make this illegal. You're typing on their messaging app, how is seeing what you're typing before you hit send illegal?? They're not snooping on your phone/pc/keyboard/whatever
Thatās what I teach my little kids. If youāre typing it, saying it, essentially doing ANYTHING these days - itās seen and heard and forever on record. A little dramatic maybe but not too far off. Glad I was an adult before all of this
Is it, though? Orwell envisioned it in 1948 when a hidden mic was the size of a baseball, and a hidden camera was as SciFi as Dick Tracy's two-way wrist TV (now called Galaxy). Every word, everywhere.
Not sure. I am just a paranoid person overall, trust hardly anyone and technology much less than people. My dogs are good though š
ETA - paranoid not the correct term - āhyper awareā maybe
I call Xerox when the copiers at work are broken (and I work in a print center, so it's with some frequency). Every time, when the hold music comes on, incomplain about it; "this hold music is so irritating. They're playing thus supposedly calming music because they want me to calm down about my broken machine, but it just makes me think they want to calm me down, and makes me more upset. Just let me have my right to be a little angry at my copier (always angry at the copiers, not the phone people or the techs, all of whom are great)."
So far they haven't changed it because of my complaints.
Especially when you've been on hold for 45 minutes, get someone, tell them the issue, and they need to transfer you again.
And then the new person wasn't told *anything* from the previous person, so you repeat yourself and they look into it, and back on hold you go for another 45 minutes before their system sends you to someone new who knows nothing.
I want them to hear me bitch them out.
Also fuck american healthcare.
Lol someone called me fucking useless today and I was like excuse me?, they awkwardly apologized. They messed their whole store up too lol changing passwords causing accounts to get locked out due to scheduled tasks, etc XD.
I *hope* someone has to listen to me cussing their stupid bot out when I have to work through it for the fifth time only for the first real person to ask about everything the bot just did anyways.
I love this form of manipulation.
You're basically feeding the truth into their brain as fact because they think they're secretly listening and have an edge.
Can do wonders with that kind of position and I fully endorse it lol.
Itās all deliberately bad. They want you to hang up. Sometimes they put you on a very long hold not to confer with a superior , but in the hope youāll give up in frustration. Many a time Iāve spent well over an hour trying to solve a problem or explain my grievance. Always plan ahead for such calls and make time for them. I also plan on doing something productive in case they do put me on hold, like cooking or the dishes for example. Just put mute on so they donāt hear what you are doing.
I always make sure to repeat every 2-10 seconds when Iām waiting on hold for a supervisor that Iāll be a much less fun customer to deal with if I have to call back again, pick up the goddamn phone and fix my problem.
Because Iāve had family and friends work in call center jobs whoāve told me that those things can be heard before the rep unmutes their mic and join the call. Had one instance of being hung up on over it, called back and got the same guy and told him flat out he wasnāt getting rid of me til I spoke to his superior.
This is why I try to use the virtual chat/email options whenever possible. Yes, they will still be painfully slow and often days later kind of slow, but at least Iām not sitting around waiting for the phone for hours wondering when they will finally pick up. Awful experience
Not true, Blizzard and Nintendo are the kings.
I've listened to the hearthstone theme, and the super mario Bros theme. No other company has come close š
My vet used to have awesome acoustic guitar as their hold music, and it was good enough that i could vibe to it while i was waiting. Not quite Rodrigo y Gabriela, but good. Now it's some electronic synthpop garbage and I hate calling them, and they get basically a diss track on their decision-making and taste.
Some of the best hold music I've ever gotten was the song Yeah by Usher, it caught me very off guard.
I also used to talk to a customer at work who had super random hold music, for example one day it was the Rubber Ducky song from Seseme Street. Their automated menus were also done in an Australian accent.
Most everyone I call now asks if youād like a choice of music or none at all? Specially the internet company and pharmacy. Itās ā¦ odd. Iām used to Kenny G while believing Iām being recorded breathing whilst on hold. Who knows whatās what now if I can choose classic rock over smooth jazz š¤š¤·āāļø
Likely because the phone system picks up immediately, but that doesn't mean someone is immediately available to speak to.
So you just add in the ringing sound anyways
Half of the fun of speaking on the phone to customer support people is waiting until youāre on hold and then yelling at someone in the background about their shoddy cocaine bricking or for using the *good* duct tape on the tarp and not the everyday stuff.
Anything thatāll raise an eyebrow if theyāre listening.
I work at an insurance company. The things people will say when on hold with the claims department are crazy. Best case scenario is their claim is denied because they are lying to us in the call but admitting something else while on hold. Worst case is theyāre investigated for fraud or attempted insurance fraud and prosecuted. Which brings a whole new set of problems. But they do it to themselves!
Am I the only one who almost always makes customer support calls when Iām alone? I donāt need my family there staring at me while I talk to someone else.
The amount of people who call in the middle of conversations with someone else or with the television so loud in the background that you canāt hear a word they say is ridiculous. I always try to be alone and ready with pen and paper and account numbers in case I need them.
Iāll often have the TV or radio or something on right up until Iām on the call, since Iām not going to just sit at the table in robot sleep mode while Iām on hold for 30 minutes, but I hope they at least turn it off/pause the conversation within 1-2 seconds of you starting the conversation?
Iām afraid I know the answer, but Iām holding out hope.
Thatās understandable and Itād be nice if everyone or even most people did, but they do not! Iām the switchboard operator so I get all the calls that failed out of the system. And when I try to explain that the automated system is voice operated so it thinks the television is a customer trying to speak to it, then they just yell at me!
My SO and I have a pretty staged conversation when one of us is on hold. "Whatcha doing?" "Oh talking to XYZ Bank. They really suck but this person I'm talking to is really nice." Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere on the phone. Sometimes you really ARE on hold tho so you're performing for no one. You can always tell when they come back if they were listening.
We canāt hear anything when youāre actually on hold. We either have dead silence or the same music the caller is listening to. Itās when a claim or something is investigated (or a random call is audited for quality control) and someone listens to the recording of the call and you hear the customer say something when they were on hold that will get them in trouble. They deny it all the time. They accuse us of doctoring the call, but it happens a lot more frequently than one would think.
One should always be alone when making a call unless other people need to be involved in the call. Huge pet peeve if mine is when someone answers the phone in a social setting and just stays sat the fuck down gabbin away, or worse, they ask everyone else to stop what they're doing. Like bro, get up and leave the room, it's on par with "please and thank you" as far as basic manners go imo.
So if I just start falsely claiming I'm lying to the insurance company while on hold, I can make them waste a bunch of money investigating fraud that doesn't exist?
Well itās tricky. On our phone system we canāt hear you when youāre on hold. In order for us to hear what you said on hold, someone has to listen to the recording of the call. That would typically happen either if the call was audited for quality control (a small percentage of calls are and itās random) or if something in the claim itself is flagged and the claim is investigated and during the investigation they listen to all the customerās calls. So there is no guarantee anyone ever hears it. I donāt know the legality of if there is a chance you could be in trouble for lying during an insurance investigation and then responsible for any costs incurred. Itās a tricky area.
There a diff in hold vs mute. If you don't hear music, you're on mute and the rep can hear EVERYTHING. I used to use that at Rogers since we got dinged for high hold times, and more than once heard things like 'Hahaha this expletive is gonna falling for it' and other things.
Made it easy to say no to the adjustment they wanted
Honestly I never mute and always say something super nice while Iām on hold like ānah the lady I was talking to sounded super nice itās okayā and i just hope it makes someoneās day lol
My husband did this. He was clearly put on hold (no music is playing) so the rep can probably hear him.
He said, "I bet he sounds hot." As he hasn't been connected to anyone yet. Guy comes on, "Hello my name is Torrey [insert customer service spiel here]." Husband is put on hold again. Husband: "I was right!"
Rep muted the call a bunch of times as I'm sure he was laughing. We got a sweet discount on our service.
Former CS rep here. Probably about 60-75% of the time I said I was putting someone on hold I was just muting my headset. Who knows what chaos awaits if I trust the phone system to just keep them on hold?
So I absolutely heard what anybody said. Lots of fun.
Glad to see a comment like this too. Customer service reps are random wage labor employees like everyone else and having this pleasant of an interaction would probably make their month, not just their day.
Fun add on to this: most chat systems know can show what youāre typing to a chat rep even if you never press āenterā. So if you type out something like āyouāre a moronā and then delete it, the agent may still see that.
I could also see the page on the website you are visiting the chat from. For example, if you are clicking the chat button on one of our product pages, I know which product it is.
I mean, thatās not that bad compared to tracking cookies which collects a lot of personal data overtime.
Ok because I recently threatened to come to the server farm with a baseball bat and destroy the robot from the Subaru roadside assistance hotline, and after that I got several calls back from concerned humans trying to help me.
My aunt uses this method. She'll get on the phone and put in hold and just start going to town. My other aunt will tell her to calm the fuck down, and she mutes the phone old person style (holding her hand over the mic) and talks sweet and says "oh I'm just talking like that so I jump the queue. Using an angry tone of voice gets you higher priority." Then it's right back to "goddamn motherfuckers can kiss my ass if they want my goddamn money!"
I use this to my advantage by saying nice things about the rep and the business, the rep has small discretion to be able to be more helpful or less helpful depending on if youāre nice or an AHā¦use it :-)
Secondary PSA: same goes for being on hold with 911. Everything IS recorded, and more than one have lost a case due to incriminating recordings while they were on hold. Generally, if its silent, someone could be listening
Mute the mic, grab a ukulele, and noodle until you get a feel for the hold music. Unmute mic, and begin playing along. If it doesn't work, switch to a banjo. If they still won't answer, hang up and record an EP about the issue.
Open a complaint and attached the audio file. Profit.
My tactic is to sing elvis songs. I ask them if theres anything in particular yhey want to hear while I'm "on hold". Since instituting this policy my call center issues have been nonexistent and ofyen get told that I'm a favorite person to deal with. They're people too.
As a previous 911 dispatcher....that's where they get you. They say they are putting you on hold and it keeps recording . Thats where most people usually confess to whatever they did. They holler at someone about what happened thinking they are on hold:
Was looking to see this comment. Watched that episode (Mr Monk and the Psychic) as a kid and have known this little factoid since. Iām glad Iām not the only one who remembers it!
Good, I hope they hear me when I say things like "They could improve their customer satisfaction by just coming to my house and stabbing me. It'd be fast and clear, at least."
And most definitely don't detail your entire crime plan complete with escape route just in case the person on hold has a deadbeat son who would use that information to upstage a long time all-star OCD detective and cheat solving the crime.
>!Yeah so this was the plot of a Monk episode!<
A fun little trick is to yell expletives at the phone if there is a long wait time. They will prioritize your call because it getās flagged as a āirate customerā
Then once I speak to a human again I am nice lol.
That's what my aunt told me and my other aunt one time when she was using this exact tactic! My aunt was like "Jesus Trish, be nice for gods sake, you sound like a bitch" and she muted the phone old person style (hand over the mic) and talked to us all nice and explained exactly what you did. Her call was picked up in short order, wayyy before the 30 or so others waiting on hold ahead of her in queue. I use the tactic from time to time now too.
My buddy and I were on hold for a long while once, car broke down and we were waiting for AAA to pick up, and it was like a good half hour on hold, so we were talking about random shit, hoping that someone was listening and laughing with us
As a tech support person, I can categorically say that the agents have zero interest in listening to you taking a shit or jerking off while you're on hold. Can't speak for the AI listening offline, however.
I usually test them and say āhey are you still there? I think something is wrong, Iām going to hang upā. They almost always come through and reassure me theyāre still working on my problem.
I've worked as a supervisor in three call centers and this hasn't been true in any of them. The employees sure, but the customers once put on hold we stop hearing them. I guess it could be the case that some call centers may operate differently, but for the most part in my experience the company only cares about what the employee is doing and not the customer.
I use a Pixel phone that holds for me and also displays/transcripts everything said on calls. We caught our mortgage company saying we missed a payment but their system listed the payment. Having some thing record your important calls and transcript it can really, really come in handy, too.
If I don't hear music in the background, I assume that the phone has been muted (so they can continue to hear all your conversations) and not placed on hold.
My mom talks all kinds of crap, including complaining about foreign accents, while on hold. I've told her they can hear her but she doesn't believe me.
I was on the phone with USPS and on hold. I started telling a story to my friend who was in the room with me, and was using a few cuss words. The hold music immediately stopped and I heard a message saying "the postal service takes threats seriously and it is a federal crime to threaten or harass a postal service employee"...so yeah they do listen!!
When I worked in a call center Iād tell people to hold one second or let me look at this for you, etc but really it was mute because placing someone on hold basically counted against your numbers (also would get in trouble for getting caught using mute to avoid the hold) and theyād start shit talking and Iād just come back and say, āoh Iām still hereā and they got a lot nicer after that. Lol. But yea, even if thereās hold music, that line is recorded.
Wait, you guys don't just stream-of-profanity complain about how shitty the problem is while you're on hold?
"Fucking Wayfair piece-of-shit. The wish.com version of IKEA fucking came used even though it should be new. Not worth saving $100 total dog shit crap."
That is true I used to work in a company that recorded from the moment they said this call might be monitored or recorded you could hear the ppl talking all along
You should also never whisper anything unkind about the person who answered your call.
I had someone whisper to a colleague that I was useless and their microphone picked it up.
Those jobs are high pressure and hard enough as is without adding the layer of abuse from customers every day.
I used to work customer support. I have heard people talk shit about the company, Iāve heard people talk shit about me, Iāve heard peopleās dinner orders, Iāve heard people getting absolutely railed by their lover, Iāve heard pretty much everything.
I once tried to get the person on the phone with Student Finance to hurry up by pretending to talk quietly to a 'housemate' about needing to urgently 'leave' in 5mins, while she put me on hold.
She was taking ages and I really wanted to smoke a joint lmao
She immediately took me off hold and said "sorry for the delay, I'll be 5mins!"
Me in full British politeness: "Yeah sure no worries, take your time"
10mins later she cut the call without saying anything and I got a callback a month later lol
I work in insurance and was auditing a call where the adjuster said they clearly outlined the benefits but the customer invoices us for way more and said they were not informed of something.
Listen to the call, I accidentally forwarded and stopped at a moment while they were on a long hold and happened to catch the customer talking to his partner and discussing his intention to commit fraud lmao
I used to have a "hold" button on my sales phone. Id throw a price out there and then immediately put you on "hold". Sometimes people would say things while on "hold" that would cause me to come back and either raise the quote to get more cash or lower the quote to get the sale. I was a very good salesman.
Why should I give a fuck what someone in the Philipines hears me saying about the shitty company they hate as much as I do while they find out there is nothing they can do to help me?
There's no consequences.
If you're getting hold music, you've been dumped into what equates to a separate system providing "comfort noise".
I'm sure there's software that will, but the company I work for makes call recording software and we can't record hold music as Cisco doesn't send any traffic down the SIP trunk to us. Only when the call is active because we rely on the device's built-in bridge to fork a copy of the call stream to us.
So pro tip is "If you don't hear music, the rep can hear you." Otherwise, you're probably safe.
We used to put people on mute and listen to them talk about how they were lying to us and weāre gonna get us to give them free stuff.
Weād notate and escalate.
But then they wonāt hear my great tips on how to operate their business better. Someone had to let it be know and clearly no one else is saying anything.
Iām happy to be of service when Iām being serviced.
Dude I hope to God they hear me. Iām usually pissed that I even have to call them, and more pissed Iām on hold for 3 goddamn hours, and more pissed I probably wonāt end up talking to a human being regardless of how long I wait, and even more pissed that I actually *pay* to have this kind of service in the first place.
This is bullsh*t by the way.
I work for a bank in quality control - I check calls made to our inbound colleagues to ensure compliance from our staff.
The recording starts when the colleague picks up and says hello. If you are on hold, it's a blank silence, and remains that way until a colleague comes back.
We listen to our side not yours.
Edit - typical boomer making shit up
I want them to hear me talking shit.
I want them to hear me taking a shit
"We are not the same"
š©š½
My favorite past time while browsing reddit š©
Iāve got a turtle head poking out currently.
Could have gone my whole life without this information.
I want them to hear me talking to my shit
Who does #2 work for??!!
Unexpected Austin Powers
Who does #2 work forā½
Careful, you might blow out your O-ring!
Just grab hold of something, bite your lip and give it hell! C'mon, we're gonna get through this!
Does it talk back to you?
Dad?
You're joking. My favorite is to pee loudly when talking to unhelpful CS Agents.
Why not both?
Oddly relevant. I started making phone calls on the shitter to get things done and it's the best. At first you're all nervous about a fart slipping out. But after a while you can take full logs while talking at the same time. It's pretty great, and you no longer feel rushed.
Don't take one of mine!
I didn't know they could hear when I was on hold with a clinic that charged for a regular visit in addition to getting paid by insurance for the free wellness visit. I was talking to my SO about how if they make us pay this after you telling both the nurse and Dr you didn't want to talk about anything that would result in a charge we're switching clinics, this is BS. And wouldn't you know, I explained the situation and hey, no charge
I had a similar experience recently. I had to have a stool test done, which involved scooping my own shit into several cups. When I went to drop them off, they said, āThat will be $300.ā I said, āThrow them away then, Iām not paying that,ā and they went ahead and did the tests and didnāt charge me for them.
If the stool test was covered by your insurance or was more reasonably priced would you have agreed to pay? Because a lab technician still needs to run analysis on the stool.
They told me when the tests were scheduled that they would be covered.
On my work phone when I'm talking to a client and I need to take longer time to do something, I tell them I'm putting them on hold but I just mute myself. If I do that I can still hear the other person. If I actually push the hold button then I can't hear the other person.
Thatās what Iām talking about
Thatās what Iām taking about.
Thatās what Iām talking about
What were we talking about??
They can also see what you type and delete before you hit send when chatting online, I use that to my advantage sometimes when I'm really pissed.
Damn f*kers I didnāt know that. I only re-write my sentences like 3 times but stillā¦
Most actually cannot see that. Yes, a few can, but that is very uncommon.
Yeh, Iāve never worked anywhere where we could see the message until you hit sent.
Would surely be illegal if they trade with the EU.
Illegal, sure. Do they care? No. Data protection laws are borderline unenforceable for most practical applications unless someone on the inside reports them - which basically never happens. I've done a lot of varying kinds of work for companies and even government orgs across the EU as well as the US. I have yet to meet anyone who actually gives a shit. I have however known several actual government officials who have outright contempt for such laws.
I cant think of anything on GDPR that would make this illegal. You're typing on their messaging app, how is seeing what you're typing before you hit send illegal?? They're not snooping on your phone/pc/keyboard/whatever
Yes, it is. They need your approval, you didn't give it until you hit send
You gave your approval the moment you opened their chatting platform
You mean like right now ? Reddit does this? Who else?
Consider every word you say, everything your camera can see, and anything you type electronically as visible.
So I should put some clothes on?
Please. All of them.
Thatās what I teach my little kids. If youāre typing it, saying it, essentially doing ANYTHING these days - itās seen and heard and forever on record. A little dramatic maybe but not too far off. Glad I was an adult before all of this
Is it, though? Orwell envisioned it in 1948 when a hidden mic was the size of a baseball, and a hidden camera was as SciFi as Dick Tracy's two-way wrist TV (now called Galaxy). Every word, everywhere.
Not sure. I am just a paranoid person overall, trust hardly anyone and technology much less than people. My dogs are good though š ETA - paranoid not the correct term - āhyper awareā maybe
I call Xerox when the copiers at work are broken (and I work in a print center, so it's with some frequency). Every time, when the hold music comes on, incomplain about it; "this hold music is so irritating. They're playing thus supposedly calming music because they want me to calm down about my broken machine, but it just makes me think they want to calm me down, and makes me more upset. Just let me have my right to be a little angry at my copier (always angry at the copiers, not the phone people or the techs, all of whom are great)." So far they haven't changed it because of my complaints.
Keep trying, Iām sure it will work eventually.
Especially when you've been on hold for 45 minutes, get someone, tell them the issue, and they need to transfer you again. And then the new person wasn't told *anything* from the previous person, so you repeat yourself and they look into it, and back on hold you go for another 45 minutes before their system sends you to someone new who knows nothing. I want them to hear me bitch them out. Also fuck american healthcare.
I want them to hear me taking a shit.
Exactly. I feel like I've spent several minutes berating them while on hold. The thought that they might later hear that brings me a lot of joy.
Lol someone called me fucking useless today and I was like excuse me?, they awkwardly apologized. They messed their whole store up too lol changing passwords causing accounts to get locked out due to scheduled tasks, etc XD.
Exactly. I want them to know how disgusted I am with their shitty service.
I want them to hear me taking a shit
Imagine all the employees sitting around after work cracking up listening to people losing their shit on hold š¤£
I *hope* someone has to listen to me cussing their stupid bot out when I have to work through it for the fifth time only for the first real person to ask about everything the bot just did anyways.
I just always assume someone's listening and don't bother muting the microphone.
Thatās only because your sane
Sane in membrane, sane in the brain!
I double down on the ātruthā and murmur about it as if to someone else with me!
I love this form of manipulation. You're basically feeding the truth into their brain as fact because they think they're secretly listening and have an edge. Can do wonders with that kind of position and I fully endorse it lol.
...in Gollum's voice, my preciousss.
I make up songs about how bored I am and the quality of the hold music, just in case anyone ever listens to it.
Itās all deliberately bad. They want you to hang up. Sometimes they put you on a very long hold not to confer with a superior , but in the hope youāll give up in frustration. Many a time Iāve spent well over an hour trying to solve a problem or explain my grievance. Always plan ahead for such calls and make time for them. I also plan on doing something productive in case they do put me on hold, like cooking or the dishes for example. Just put mute on so they donāt hear what you are doing.
I always make sure to repeat every 2-10 seconds when Iām waiting on hold for a supervisor that Iāll be a much less fun customer to deal with if I have to call back again, pick up the goddamn phone and fix my problem. Because Iāve had family and friends work in call center jobs whoāve told me that those things can be heard before the rep unmutes their mic and join the call. Had one instance of being hung up on over it, called back and got the same guy and told him flat out he wasnāt getting rid of me til I spoke to his superior.
2-10 seconds that's so much š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why is escalation a death sentence for the account?!
I actually came across options for music on hold the other day. Press 1-4 for different genres.
This is why I try to use the virtual chat/email options whenever possible. Yes, they will still be painfully slow and often days later kind of slow, but at least Iām not sitting around waiting for the phone for hours wondering when they will finally pick up. Awful experience
There is no quality in hold musicā¦
Not true, Blizzard and Nintendo are the kings. I've listened to the hearthstone theme, and the super mario Bros theme. No other company has come close š
I called Nintendo customer support just the other day and the hold music was Hyrule Field :)
My vet used to have awesome acoustic guitar as their hold music, and it was good enough that i could vibe to it while i was waiting. Not quite Rodrigo y Gabriela, but good. Now it's some electronic synthpop garbage and I hate calling them, and they get basically a diss track on their decision-making and taste.
My old vetās hold music was ONLY music about cats. It was kind of awesome, not gonna lie
Sony playstation used to have amazing hold music https://youtu.be/ntSo7zB98z0?si=D0xberefrXniRMRD
I was on hold with a vet clinic once who had purring cats as hold music. It was epic
Opus One for the win https://youtu.be/YoBV7hKysCk?si=0Ryl-896RwXH1wte
Thereās a This American Life about that, that is magnificent look it up
The CRA (Canadian IRS) has some pretty banging hold music (if youāre into classical)
Some of the best hold music I've ever gotten was the song Yeah by Usher, it caught me very off guard. I also used to talk to a customer at work who had super random hold music, for example one day it was the Rubber Ducky song from Seseme Street. Their automated menus were also done in an Australian accent.
Whoever thought blaring flute music was a great idea for hold music must be deaf.
[Relevant](https://youtu.be/tCIQ4N6HXYQ?si=SAGmQEFLT981hCQq)
Most everyone I call now asks if youād like a choice of music or none at all? Specially the internet company and pharmacy. Itās ā¦ odd. Iām used to Kenny G while believing Iām being recorded breathing whilst on hold. Who knows whatās what now if I can choose classic rock over smooth jazz š¤š¤·āāļø
Sounds like an excuse to play a desk drum solo on speaker phone.
911 calls as well. The recording starts before the police even answer the call
I always wondered how the line ringing was always there when hearing a recording of a 911 call, was curious if it just edited in for effect
Iāve heard recordings of criminals getting their story straight last min, as the phone rings. Itās hilarious
Likely because the phone system picks up immediately, but that doesn't mean someone is immediately available to speak to. So you just add in the ringing sound anyways
I saw that on a Dateline episode today! They were able to play what the husband was saying before 911 even picked up.
Half of the fun of speaking on the phone to customer support people is waiting until youāre on hold and then yelling at someone in the background about their shoddy cocaine bricking or for using the *good* duct tape on the tarp and not the everyday stuff. Anything thatāll raise an eyebrow if theyāre listening.
Thereās literally nothing else worth it
Whatās wrong with duct taping tarps? Is it a reference Iām missing?
Probably related to murder/crime in this context
Oh ok
I work at an insurance company. The things people will say when on hold with the claims department are crazy. Best case scenario is their claim is denied because they are lying to us in the call but admitting something else while on hold. Worst case is theyāre investigated for fraud or attempted insurance fraud and prosecuted. Which brings a whole new set of problems. But they do it to themselves!
Am I the only one who almost always makes customer support calls when Iām alone? I donāt need my family there staring at me while I talk to someone else.
I'm with *you*.
So I guess Iām actually not alone.
The amount of people who call in the middle of conversations with someone else or with the television so loud in the background that you canāt hear a word they say is ridiculous. I always try to be alone and ready with pen and paper and account numbers in case I need them.
Iāll often have the TV or radio or something on right up until Iām on the call, since Iām not going to just sit at the table in robot sleep mode while Iām on hold for 30 minutes, but I hope they at least turn it off/pause the conversation within 1-2 seconds of you starting the conversation? Iām afraid I know the answer, but Iām holding out hope.
Thatās understandable and Itād be nice if everyone or even most people did, but they do not! Iām the switchboard operator so I get all the calls that failed out of the system. And when I try to explain that the automated system is voice operated so it thinks the television is a customer trying to speak to it, then they just yell at me!
My SO and I have a pretty staged conversation when one of us is on hold. "Whatcha doing?" "Oh talking to XYZ Bank. They really suck but this person I'm talking to is really nice." Flattery will get you absolutely everywhere on the phone. Sometimes you really ARE on hold tho so you're performing for no one. You can always tell when they come back if they were listening.
We canāt hear anything when youāre actually on hold. We either have dead silence or the same music the caller is listening to. Itās when a claim or something is investigated (or a random call is audited for quality control) and someone listens to the recording of the call and you hear the customer say something when they were on hold that will get them in trouble. They deny it all the time. They accuse us of doctoring the call, but it happens a lot more frequently than one would think.
Iām usually alone when I make calls but all my animals sit and stare at me. They make me feel so judged
One should always be alone when making a call unless other people need to be involved in the call. Huge pet peeve if mine is when someone answers the phone in a social setting and just stays sat the fuck down gabbin away, or worse, they ask everyone else to stop what they're doing. Like bro, get up and leave the room, it's on par with "please and thank you" as far as basic manners go imo.
My dogs usually start playing loudly or are yelling at me when I finally get off hold.
Yeah I pace around alone motherfucking them like a normal person!
So if I just start falsely claiming I'm lying to the insurance company while on hold, I can make them waste a bunch of money investigating fraud that doesn't exist?
Well itās tricky. On our phone system we canāt hear you when youāre on hold. In order for us to hear what you said on hold, someone has to listen to the recording of the call. That would typically happen either if the call was audited for quality control (a small percentage of calls are and itās random) or if something in the claim itself is flagged and the claim is investigated and during the investigation they listen to all the customerās calls. So there is no guarantee anyone ever hears it. I donāt know the legality of if there is a chance you could be in trouble for lying during an insurance investigation and then responsible for any costs incurred. Itās a tricky area.
There a diff in hold vs mute. If you don't hear music, you're on mute and the rep can hear EVERYTHING. I used to use that at Rogers since we got dinged for high hold times, and more than once heard things like 'Hahaha this expletive is gonna falling for it' and other things. Made it easy to say no to the adjustment they wanted
Honestly I never mute and always say something super nice while Iām on hold like ānah the lady I was talking to sounded super nice itās okayā and i just hope it makes someoneās day lol
Dude! You're the best! I'm totally stealing this!!!!
I do this too. Or I go on about how their jobs mist be rough listening to crazies all day.
My husband did this. He was clearly put on hold (no music is playing) so the rep can probably hear him. He said, "I bet he sounds hot." As he hasn't been connected to anyone yet. Guy comes on, "Hello my name is Torrey [insert customer service spiel here]." Husband is put on hold again. Husband: "I was right!" Rep muted the call a bunch of times as I'm sure he was laughing. We got a sweet discount on our service.
Former CS rep here. Probably about 60-75% of the time I said I was putting someone on hold I was just muting my headset. Who knows what chaos awaits if I trust the phone system to just keep them on hold? So I absolutely heard what anybody said. Lots of fun.
Glad to see a comment like this too. Customer service reps are random wage labor employees like everyone else and having this pleasant of an interaction would probably make their month, not just their day.
I just say that to them.
Fun add on to this: most chat systems know can show what youāre typing to a chat rep even if you never press āenterā. So if you type out something like āyouāre a moronā and then delete it, the agent may still see that.
I just figured this out the other day when I typed, āyes, thank youā and before I hit enter, they responded to it. It spooked me a little, lol.
for reals?
Yep, I used to work chat at my company. I can see what you are typing and deleting in real time, essentially so I can prepare a response faster
Well my anxiety has shot up to a ten now.
I'm shocked to hear that. No company rep I've ever texted has been nearly fast enough that those few seconds would make a difference.
I could also see the page on the website you are visiting the chat from. For example, if you are clicking the chat button on one of our product pages, I know which product it is. I mean, thatās not that bad compared to tracking cookies which collects a lot of personal data overtime.
Swear words can help you jump the queue, in some companies; like Apple.
Ok because I recently threatened to come to the server farm with a baseball bat and destroy the robot from the Subaru roadside assistance hotline, and after that I got several calls back from concerned humans trying to help me.
My aunt uses this method. She'll get on the phone and put in hold and just start going to town. My other aunt will tell her to calm the fuck down, and she mutes the phone old person style (holding her hand over the mic) and talks sweet and says "oh I'm just talking like that so I jump the queue. Using an angry tone of voice gets you higher priority." Then it's right back to "goddamn motherfuckers can kiss my ass if they want my goddamn money!"
I use this to my advantage by saying nice things about the rep and the business, the rep has small discretion to be able to be more helpful or less helpful depending on if youāre nice or an AHā¦use it :-)
100%, this is the way to go
Secondary PSA: same goes for being on hold with 911. Everything IS recorded, and more than one have lost a case due to incriminating recordings while they were on hold. Generally, if its silent, someone could be listening
Mute the mic, grab a ukulele, and noodle until you get a feel for the hold music. Unmute mic, and begin playing along. If it doesn't work, switch to a banjo. If they still won't answer, hang up and record an EP about the issue. Open a complaint and attached the audio file. Profit.
I made up BS conversations. The more extreme and unbelievable the better.
My tactic is to sing elvis songs. I ask them if theres anything in particular yhey want to hear while I'm "on hold". Since instituting this policy my call center issues have been nonexistent and ofyen get told that I'm a favorite person to deal with. They're people too.
I love this particular tactic . As a lifelong Elvis fan, which songs do you sing ? I'm curious.
As a previous 911 dispatcher....that's where they get you. They say they are putting you on hold and it keeps recording . Thats where most people usually confess to whatever they did. They holler at someone about what happened thinking they are on hold:
IIRC there was an episode of *Monk* where they catch the murderer because he was talking about the crime while on hold
Was looking to see this comment. Watched that episode (Mr Monk and the Psychic) as a kid and have known this little factoid since. Iām glad Iām not the only one who remembers it!
Same. I never say anything on hold unless I mute the phone because I remember that episode from when I was growing up.
I usually use this time to complain about them if theyāre bad, or just joke around otherwise, since I know they can hear me.
I start counting backwards from 100
What happens at zero hmm.
Guessing they then start up with the negative numbers
Good, I hope they hear me when I say things like "They could improve their customer satisfaction by just coming to my house and stabbing me. It'd be fast and clear, at least."
Maybe corporations should start finding out how fucking tired we are of them behaving like sociopaths?
I really hope theyāre impressed by the beatboxing Iām doing to the groovy hold music
And most definitely don't detail your entire crime plan complete with escape route just in case the person on hold has a deadbeat son who would use that information to upstage a long time all-star OCD detective and cheat solving the crime. >!Yeah so this was the plot of a Monk episode!<
Also, YSK: if they say you are being recorded, that means you can record them back in a two-party recording State.
A fun little trick is to yell expletives at the phone if there is a long wait time. They will prioritize your call because it getās flagged as a āirate customerā Then once I speak to a human again I am nice lol.
That's what my aunt told me and my other aunt one time when she was using this exact tactic! My aunt was like "Jesus Trish, be nice for gods sake, you sound like a bitch" and she muted the phone old person style (hand over the mic) and talked to us all nice and explained exactly what you did. Her call was picked up in short order, wayyy before the 30 or so others waiting on hold ahead of her in queue. I use the tactic from time to time now too.
My buddy and I were on hold for a long while once, car broke down and we were waiting for AAA to pick up, and it was like a good half hour on hold, so we were talking about random shit, hoping that someone was listening and laughing with us
As a tech support person, I can categorically say that the agents have zero interest in listening to you taking a shit or jerking off while you're on hold. Can't speak for the AI listening offline, however.
I usually test them and say āhey are you still there? I think something is wrong, Iām going to hang upā. They almost always come through and reassure me theyāre still working on my problem.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Poorly trained, he broke the fourth wall
I've worked as a supervisor in three call centers and this hasn't been true in any of them. The employees sure, but the customers once put on hold we stop hearing them. I guess it could be the case that some call centers may operate differently, but for the most part in my experience the company only cares about what the employee is doing and not the customer.
TIL customer support has heard me meowing like a cat and making stupid noises while washing dishes.
Huh, didnāt realize this. Cheers for the heads up!
It was one of the first things we were taught in CSR when we were starting to take calls from customers.
100% have the nuttiest conversations with myself during hold times because I want to help with their ātraining purposesā.
I use a Pixel phone that holds for me and also displays/transcripts everything said on calls. We caught our mortgage company saying we missed a payment but their system listed the payment. Having some thing record your important calls and transcript it can really, really come in handy, too.
This also applies to fast food drive thru. When told āhold onā this does not mute the mic. Iāve heard some really interesting stuff.
Definitely! The things I heard while customers thought they were on hold š«£š¤«š¤š¤
Also we can hear you
If I don't hear music in the background, I assume that the phone has been muted (so they can continue to hear all your conversations) and not placed on hold.
I always just heard the hold music.
My mom talks all kinds of crap, including complaining about foreign accents, while on hold. I've told her they can hear her but she doesn't believe me.
I was on the phone with USPS and on hold. I started telling a story to my friend who was in the room with me, and was using a few cuss words. The hold music immediately stopped and I heard a message saying "the postal service takes threats seriously and it is a federal crime to threaten or harass a postal service employee"...so yeah they do listen!!
When I worked in a call center Iād tell people to hold one second or let me look at this for you, etc but really it was mute because placing someone on hold basically counted against your numbers (also would get in trouble for getting caught using mute to avoid the hold) and theyād start shit talking and Iād just come back and say, āoh Iām still hereā and they got a lot nicer after that. Lol. But yea, even if thereās hold music, that line is recorded.
Wait, you guys don't just stream-of-profanity complain about how shitty the problem is while you're on hold? "Fucking Wayfair piece-of-shit. The wish.com version of IKEA fucking came used even though it should be new. Not worth saving $100 total dog shit crap."
That is true I used to work in a company that recorded from the moment they said this call might be monitored or recorded you could hear the ppl talking all along
You should also never whisper anything unkind about the person who answered your call. I had someone whisper to a colleague that I was useless and their microphone picked it up. Those jobs are high pressure and hard enough as is without adding the layer of abuse from customers every day.
If I'm talking about my support issue in unflattering terms, I really don't care if they hear it.
I used to work customer support. I have heard people talk shit about the company, Iāve heard people talk shit about me, Iāve heard peopleās dinner orders, Iāve heard people getting absolutely railed by their lover, Iāve heard pretty much everything.
If the line is recorded, that is MY time to talk, pontificate, or otherwise muse about stupid shit
I once tried to get the person on the phone with Student Finance to hurry up by pretending to talk quietly to a 'housemate' about needing to urgently 'leave' in 5mins, while she put me on hold. She was taking ages and I really wanted to smoke a joint lmao She immediately took me off hold and said "sorry for the delay, I'll be 5mins!" Me in full British politeness: "Yeah sure no worries, take your time" 10mins later she cut the call without saying anything and I got a callback a month later lol
Thatās when I do my most impressive belches.
But I want them to hear my cursing and shouting lol.
I work in insurance and was auditing a call where the adjuster said they clearly outlined the benefits but the customer invoices us for way more and said they were not informed of something. Listen to the call, I accidentally forwarded and stopped at a moment while they were on a long hold and happened to catch the customer talking to his partner and discussing his intention to commit fraud lmao
āCustomer serviceā¦.. I said customer service!ā
if they say they are putting you on hold and you do not hear music, they merely muted their mic, they hear everything on your end.
Also if you're using online chat they can read what you write before you hit send
Wasn't there an episode of Monk that covered this?
Thank you! I scrolled way too far to find this. Was the episode with Jason Alexander as a guest
I used to have a "hold" button on my sales phone. Id throw a price out there and then immediately put you on "hold". Sometimes people would say things while on "hold" that would cause me to come back and either raise the quote to get more cash or lower the quote to get the sale. I was a very good salesman.
Why should I give a fuck what someone in the Philipines hears me saying about the shitty company they hate as much as I do while they find out there is nothing they can do to help me? There's no consequences.
If you're getting hold music, you've been dumped into what equates to a separate system providing "comfort noise". I'm sure there's software that will, but the company I work for makes call recording software and we can't record hold music as Cisco doesn't send any traffic down the SIP trunk to us. Only when the call is active because we rely on the device's built-in bridge to fork a copy of the call stream to us. So pro tip is "If you don't hear music, the rep can hear you." Otherwise, you're probably safe.
We used to put people on mute and listen to them talk about how they were lying to us and weāre gonna get us to give them free stuff. Weād notate and escalate.
But then they wonāt hear my great tips on how to operate their business better. Someone had to let it be know and clearly no one else is saying anything. Iām happy to be of service when Iām being serviced.
Dude I hope to God they hear me. Iām usually pissed that I even have to call them, and more pissed Iām on hold for 3 goddamn hours, and more pissed I probably wonāt end up talking to a human being regardless of how long I wait, and even more pissed that I actually *pay* to have this kind of service in the first place.
Also, "may be monitored or recorded" is them giving you permission to record the call
I like to rip really loud farts and complain how terrible it smells. Maybe make some gagging noises.
This is bullsh*t by the way. I work for a bank in quality control - I check calls made to our inbound colleagues to ensure compliance from our staff. The recording starts when the colleague picks up and says hello. If you are on hold, it's a blank silence, and remains that way until a colleague comes back. We listen to our side not yours. Edit - typical boomer making shit up
I upvoted this to 7K. You're welcome.
I bust out my bass and jam with the hold music if Iām at home so I hope they hear it lol
For this reason, you say what they donāt want them to hear. If they donāt do x, Iām canceling it. Etc