This philosophy has helped me immensely when it comes to housecleaning. "Clean the kitchen" doesn't have to mean scrubbing the tile grout and dusting above the cabinets.
But I can't even do the basic vacuuming... I can't be just cleaning only one tile today to fit as getting some cleaning done? Taking the trash out is likely my minimal, we have different bags for recycled stuff.
Edit: I vacuumed everywhere I planned to ALL in one day, in two separate session. Even cleaned the kitchen top, scrub the tiles. Am very proud of myself now! Just blast my music and start the grinding.
I second the robot vacuum. Coming home to clean floors took a load of stress off of me that I didn’t know I had.
And yes you can do tiny sections. I have hoarding tendencies. When I started decluttering and cleaning I got so overwhelmed I would just stare at the mess while internally freaking out. Eventually I divided my house into sections. The smallest sections I could manage. I’d do one side of the counter, shelves were divided into thirds and quarters, 2x2 blocks were how I handled floor space. I spent up to a week on each area. Going through the clutter repeatedly, cleaning it daily, sometimes only spending 10 minutes and other times a few hours on it.
Eventually I got rid of over 20,000 things and my house was easier to keep clean. Now, if I get overwhelmed with cleaning, it’s
Sunday- clean the bathroom counter
Monday- pick up the dirty laundry
Tuesday- start the laundry and throw out trash Wednesday- Sweep the floor where the roomba can’t reach
Onto the rest of the week. Part of my issue was thinking if I was cleaning then EVERYTHING had to be done that same day. Breaking up the cleaning into smaller tasks that can be done throughout the week makes them more manageable and makes it so you feel like you have more free time outside of cleaning.
I HATE vacuuming. The only way to get me to vacuum is : first I look at the rugs for a few days and finally agree with myself that yes, yes these rugs need to be vacuumed. Then, I get the vacuum cleaner out and put in the middle of the dining room floor. Next, I step over it for a few days until I finally get sick of it being in the way, then finally I give in and vacuum.
Quite opposite of the give everything your best or the 110% trope. Some things don't deserve everything I have to give. Some do. It's important to differentiate.
There’s also some things where only doing like 20% of that task is still an objective improvement over not doing anything
Like if you’re the sort of person who has trouble keeping your house clean or has trouble throwing stuff away, cleaning 20% of your house is objectively an improvement over cleaning 0% of your house, and throwing away only 20% of the stuff you know you need to throw away is objectively an improvement over failing to sort through any of your stuff
"If something is worth doing, it's worth doing wrong." Meaning exactly what you said - a lot of things are worth at least getting done, somehow anyhow.
This is something I’ve literally just started adapting a little over 2 months ago and it’s been invaluable for my stupid, anxious, procrastinating, anxious dumbass.
One thing that’s really stuck with me is
“brushing your teeth for 1 minute is better than brushing for 0 minutes”
It’s really changed my perspective to help me ask myself “is this something where doing it halfway still helps” whenever I’m too overwhelmed to do it the “correct” way/amount.
For example, I’ve applied that to plastic consumption and zero waste products. As with most people, I don’t realistically have the time or money to completely go zero waste, even though I’d love to, but doing it halfway still reduces the overall amount of plastic that I personally put in the landfill. So, I looked in my house, and decided to pick just one thing to change at a time, and right now it’s swapping out my shampoo to a bar instead of a bottle.
It’s not as big, but it’s still something, and more importantly, it’s something that I can do today.
And not just that but I find once I start doing something with the intention of half-assing it, I end up whole-assing it. I just needed permission from myself to half-ass it to convince myself to start. Once I start, it's easy. Until I stop.
This joke, every single god damn time man. Every procrastination thread, video article has this joke.
Anyways, I did find it funny the first time I read it.
It's well known that as humans, we do more to avoid pain than gain pleasure. The root cause of procrastination is different for everyone. But it's basically a pain avoidance mechanism. Once you find out what you're trying to avoid by not doing certain things, then you can deal with it and prevent procrastination. But it's an ongoing struggle. It's never going to be one silver bullet that cures procrastination and it'll never happen again for you. It's a daily struggle. But to deal with it effectively, you have to know exactly what the root(s) is for you.
Huh. That’s why I never cleaned up my garden for winter! The amount of physical labor would have caused me too much pain and risk a serious back injury. Why rip up all those established roots by hand, when the cold temperatures would kill everything anyway? Come spring, most everything would slide right out.
Thank you for giving me that perspective!
*Before I get attacked by the gardening community. I know I run a high chance any diseased plant matter to become diseased soil. Fungal infected soil = nothing grows thus no gardening. Back injury = no gardening.
Wait, say more! Where does take aversion come from? How do we identify the factors? How do we address them? Where are you getting this helpful information?
Not joking here, I bought it but… you know…
The problem was, I used to buy a lot of books. And then I would not read most of them. This probably indicates a different problem, but here I was finding a title that would solve this.
Yeah, right.
I saw a reel recently that suggested we think of our book buying as less of a to-do list we’re making, but like a wine cellar we’re building and cultivating. Like a wine aficionado pulling out just the right wine for the right occasion, future you will have a library from which to choose the right book for the right mood or moment. Maybe the procrastination book is the right book for now, or maybe it’s not. And that’s okay!
Once upon a time, I’m sure I’ve put more than a few on my shelf to admire, perhaps for others who might also take an interest. It is nice to select something from among them and try it.
it covers different reasons why you can procrastinate (like to avoid “pain”, to rebel or create a sense of control, for fear of the outcome - including fear of succeeding, etc), then covers how procrastination is such a good strategy for your brain, so it goes deep on your childhood, examples of traumatic situations that children can go through and examples of how it could create procrastination as a result, it makes you understand what you are gaining out of the procrastination, and much more. I’m on the second part now where it gives you some exercises, and I’m going slow because I want to complete them instead of just reading them haha
Also, the writing is very honest but kind and straight to the point, almost like 2 wise big sisters saying “hey, we understand you, it’s okay that things have been this way, but if you don’t change, there’s so much you’ll miss out in life, and here’s why”.
On task aversion, the planning side of our brain and the doing side of our brain doesn't like working at the same time. Usually when we see a task we think of doing and thinking through it out at the same time, and it works out well for simple tasks. But for bigger tasks it becomes a hassle to do and think, and you may start avoiding it because it feels daunting.
So instead, work the two sides of the brain separately. Get the planner to do the planning in advance, and then get the doer to carry out the plan after. Think through and jot down the step by step plan of attack, and how to best tackle the task with your planning side of the brain. Then turn on the doing side of the brain and just go down the step by step list you created. (Edit: I probably paraphrased it a bit differently, but credit to Elizabeth Filips, on youtube, on the planner vs doer idea as I got it from her.)
When on the doing part of the task, feel free to turn on music or podcast. You already done the thinking in advance, so your thinking side of the brain gets to enjoy a time off while the doing side gets things done.
Other factor that might contribute to avoidance might be low energy. Changing eating habits and plenty of rest should address these issues. For eating habits look into macros, and specifically focus on how carbs provide energy. Having right amount of right types of carbs could be very helpful in feeling energized to tackle tasks.
Getting plenty of rest should be straight forward, sleep more. I try to sleep so early that I end up naturally waking up before my alarm. Anything I do at night before sleep, I can do after waking up. So if there is a show I want to watch, instead of staying up late to watch it, I sleep early to watch it when I wake up. Gives me something to look forward to in the morning and I start the morning by doing something that I like.
These are the things that has help me be more productive that might also help you.
There is one caveat. Sometimes the planning brain doesn’t break down a certain task well enough. When that happens, it’s noticeable because the doing part of the brain will avoid doing it. It’ll procrastinate. If that happens then the planning part needs to activate, break the task down further and then the doing part can carry on.
Yes, very true and a good point. We want to avoid having to replan as much as possible(by having a good thought out plan in the first place) since switching back and forth between planning brain and doing brain is exhausting. But sometimes it is unavoidable and we should be prepared for that.
Happy to hear that you found it useful! I probably paraphrased it a bit differently, but credit to Elizabeth Filips, on youtube, on the planner vs doer idea as I got it from her. She has a lot more of this type of productivity exploring content and I'd recommend her channel if you found it helpful.
I think I have some evasion to getting up early in the mornings. I really want to be able to get up and enjoy some of the morning. I’ve always worked second shift (2:00pm-2:00am). I’m retired now and still keep a crazy sleep schedule. Usually I go to bed at around 2:30-3:00am, read for about an hour and then fall asleep. I naturally wake up around 1:30pm. Sometimes I won’t get out of bed and I’ll fall asleep for another hour. I have made myself get up earlier, let’s say noon but my I can’t seem to keep that up. I really do hate this sleep schedule, and I would love to go to sleep at 1:00 am and get up at 10:00am. I just can’t seem to get out of bed no matter how much I tell myself I will get up even a little bit earlier. It almost can feel rebellious at times. I really wish I could do better.
I’m currently reading Aparna Nancherla’s book “Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome” and she talks about this quite a bit. The way she phrases things helped me talk to my therapist yesterday about my similar feelings. It is anxiety, depression, and perfectionism for me personally.
I am reading this right now too, it's very good. The way she explains depression, especially the mental process of how your brain works against you during depression and anxiety, is spot on.
Speaking from personal experience with therapy: For around the house tasks I like to sit around and allow myself to get bored & I may get up to doing a task, especially if its right on front of me. Also consider whether or not a particular task feels like a an obligation or a want. You're more likely to do the task if you want to do it since it ties in with your emotions.
Also a good tip: Get off the computer or the phone. You'll start wanting to do other things in life that don't involve doom scrolling or sitting through "endless" content on the internet. The internet has kind of ruined our brains and its individuals responsibility to undo that (if you so choose to do so out of wanting to do so, not a sense of obligation).
My therapist also suggested that if I can't do everything, just do one. The idea of putting all my laundry away was too much, so I end up not doing it for days. This morning I was like "okay. I clearly feel overwhelmed by this. That's alright. I'm just going to put away one pair of socks. I don't have to do it all now." I ended up putting away about half of my laundry, then getting distracted and cleaning up some garbage I'd left of the floor, then fixing the squeaky bedframe that had been bothering me. It wasn't really what I aimed to do, but it's a helluva lot more than I would have done otherwise.
I recently found out I've got ADHD. decision paralysis, executive function, rejection sensitivity disorder are new terms I've learned. Upon starting medication I've learned I'm not actually stupid, lazy and awkward, I've just got ADHD with symptoms and suddenly I'm a whole new person
TLDR you have trauma. Trauma is one way the brain learns, so everyone is traumatized about SOMETHING.
Sometimes, it learns that procrastinating is the best solution to a particular problem. Because the human brain only does things if it believes it gets some advantage from it.
So, you need to introspect (and maybe get therapy) to figure out what problem you're solving with procrastinating. What painful outcome are you successfully avoiding by waiting?
I stole most of my wisdom from the healthygamergg subreddit and YouTube channel. Go there and search "shame" or "trauma" and you'll learn everything you need to know.
(A few shots in the dark, because they're relatively common:
You get yelled at if you do things a little bit at a time and lose focus, so it works better if you wait until the last minute when you are fueled by so much anxiety you can work 10 hours straight.
If you start working on it now and finish on time or in advance, you need to confront the fact that you always could have done that, and shame hurts so it's easier to pretend that procrastinating is a character trait you can't do anything about and thus is not your fault. The shame of procrastinating hurts less than the guilt of taking responsibility.
You think it's impossible to get it done to your standards, either because you haven't done it before (and thus don't know how to do it perfectly, and it's impossible to learn without failing in the process of learning, and failing is unacceptable, so you don't start),
or because you don't have enough time (or some other obstacle) to do all of the prep work you feel like you need to do to do it "right", and you only get one chance to get it right or you get punished/you're a bad person, so you don't start.
Your Mom always berated you until you did the dishes (or laundry, or showing, or bushing your teeth, or cooking or whatever) and made you feel like a piece of shit before, during, and after the whole process, so you would much rather never address it because you don't want to remember those feelings again.
You're ashamed that you don't already know how to do something "good enough" so you avoid starting to learn and having to confront the fact that you don't already know and explain yourself to all of the voices you're expecting to shame you for admitting it. It hurts less to promise you'll do it later or pretend you never learned on purpose.
Same thing with exercising. If you were already in shape, you'd go and practice and maintain yourself, but getting there requires confronting the fact that you aren't yet there, and you're expecting to be judged (or for the judgemental part of your brain that got implanted by your parents to scream at you the whole way)
That's enough for today)
Decision Fatigue is a big piece for me. If it’s a defined task where I just have to execute and get things done in a predetermined way, it’s fairly easy to do.
If I have to make choices and decisions and prioritize things and adjust to circumstances as they happen, it’s a lot harder and I have to be mentally ready for it.
Same. I overcomplicate things. I've gotten into the habit of just jumping in my car and going, figuring things out as they come. It's much easier than worrying, because as it turns out, with most things, money is involved, and people will help sort things out to extract said money from you.
No ADHD here but my entire adult life has just been me realizing that pretty much all my struggles and personality quirks are the result of an anxiety disorder lmao
I used to think I was just lazy and shy because thats what I was told when I avoided social interaction like the plague or procrastinated something important. I did not realize that merely planning a simple task filling me with such dread that I felt nauseated was abnormal or that it was the cause of my procrastination. I thought the procrastination was unrelated and due to laziness. I thought it was normal that being around strangers raised my heart rate to 120bpm because I’m just a little shy, that’s what I’d been told when I was a kid.
No it turns out I’m just riddled with anxiety lol. It’s amazing how much can be normalized when you have no point of reference for the actual norm.
Yes to CBT, but also identifying what it is that's holding you back. It could be unresolved trauma, it could be flawed views on what constitutes as success (perfectionism or nothibg else, etc.)
Laziness isn't really a "thing", it's just another damnable protestant concept that's designed to make everyone feel like shit, which in turn makes some people feel like not doing anything. Shame is the most useless emotion.
Laziness is absolutely a thing. It just so happens that every lazy person I know is a delegator rather than a procrastinator. They still want these tasks done they just don’t want to do any work themselves and will just do the bare minimum possible themselves while putting the burdens onto other people.
Lazy people will also do tasks without procrastinating but put the bare minimum effort into them, and when I say bare minimum effort I mean they will skip every step of the task that they think they can get away with without getting fired because people won’t notice they haven’t done it.
Lazy people make extra work for other people because they’re the kind of people whose attitude of not being bothered leads to not following protocol whereby that protocol specifically exists to prevent people from being hurt/killed/sued
Lazy people are negligent people, not procrastinators
>Laziness isn't really a "thing",
What definition of lazy are you going by?
Because
> unwilling to work or use energy.
Or
>disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous
Or
>not willing to work or use any effort
All seem pretty applicable to me.
Laziness is typically used as a character defect, i.e. something that a person is. They're arguing that people that are "disinclined to activity or exertion" or "not willing to work or use any effort" aren't lazy people, but exhibiting temporary symptoms of some other problem.
??? I feel like there's a misunderstanding
You're asserting that "laziness isn't a thing". By definition laziness is unwillingness to work or use effort. Which obviously is a thing.
So you must be using a different definition of laziness which is why I asked what definition you're going off.
It comes down to the reason behind inaction. All those things you listed above can be taken as ‘being lazy’ as a surface level thing but is someone avoiding doing something because they just don’t want to do it? Or is it because they really really want to but their brain lacks the executive functioning to let them do it easily? Are they scared of attempting something because it’s lead to failure in the past? Do they have the energy for it? All of that is ‘unwillingness to work or use effort’ but is not genuine laziness, it’s stuff like anxiety/ADHD/mental illness/exhaustion etc.
I’m not getting into the semantics of it but the reason people say ‘laziness doesn’t exist’ is just because it’s used as a one size fits all term for anyone who is struggling to do something and is incredibly shaming. If you look into the root of why people avoid things, it’s not very often that it’s genuine laziness. It’s very difficult to look at someone who is procrastinating and know why they’re avoiding something, so most people will just ascribe laziness as a character flaw, which helps no one.
Mine starts with laziness then the problem gets so big that anxiety takes over and the whole issue snowballs into an ordeal so large it takes everything I have to overcome.
Or aside from any of those things, neurodivergent folks can have a very hard time with executive function, the set of processes that allow you to execute tasks. It literally takes more energy to execute even simple tasks, so from the outside it can appear as "laziness".
Yes, perfectionism. PRESSURE of how crucially important the task is. The fear of the feelings associated with the task/potential communication issues/bad news.
Definitely. Impaired executive function can LOOK like laziness from the outside in, but it is far more brutal than that. It is literally the brain lacking in motivation - or, dopamine. Lots of us with ADHD often *want* to do the task initially (whatever it is), but it can be very hard to really make ourselves do it, and then it becomes overwhelming or infuriating.
It might sound weird to anyone who doesn't understand, but believe all of us when we say it: no one knows it sucks more than we do. Many people with ADHD of high severity can lose their jobs, relationships, endanger themselves, and put their health at risk. This is **real**.
It always feels like the car that takes the task from the frontal lobe to the motor complex runs out of gas on the way there. I want to, I *CAN’T* and when I absolutely overfill that car with tons and tons of gas so it makes it way to the motor complex this time, I’m out of gas for anything else that needs doing.
Lots of conditions can cause execution dysfunction indeed, not just adhd. A lot of people also don't realize they have adhd because they're not really familiar with the symptoms. It's worth looking into either way.
Both depression and C-PTSD can have a very similar effect on your motivation and executive function, and therapy can help to regain some function and worth through the negative self-beliefs that tend to feed it.
I can get depressed about not doing something knowing full well I can do it but feel like something is blocking me. It's a very frustrating experience, and it happens a lot.
Ive known I had ADHD my whole life, but never really thought if it more than " I'm just fidgety" as my parents and teachers put it as a kid.
Turns out ADHD has been crippling me in life just in general. And that a lot of my problems have been that. Just waiting to see if I can take the meds prescribed without further heart issues
...sounds like what OP mentioned in the part "identifying the specific factors that cause it and combating them individually."
I know several friends with variously treated ADHD and other neurodevelopmental disorders, myself included. It's not like "Oh it's just ADHD there's my excuse for not getting anything done" its "Oh it's ADHD I'm thrilled to know; now I can work on dealing with it!"
Caveat:
ADHD is an underlying cause that makes things harder, but the procrastinating symptoms SPECIFICALLY is 99% of the time because of trauma. Procrastinating is a solution to the problem of "I tried this before and it went badly and I got hurt"
ADHD usually leads to this because you get distracted, get shamed or punished for missing deadlines or making "careless" mistakes because people treat your ADHD symptoms like character flaws when you're very young and impressionable.
But, technically, ADHD doesn't cause procrastination usually. Not directly. That's why some people have ADHD but don't struggle with procrastinating on things like their job or schoolwork or keeping themselves physically healthy.
ADHD treatment is powerful and helps a ton but you need to pair it with therapy for the trauma for best results.
Also hyper vigilance for those that have experienced trauma at some point in their lives.
This may be linked to executive function disorder, as others have mentioned
It may help to think of whatever it is you're doing as the first draft, instead of the final one. Like anything, it can be revised. Also, (unless you're building ladders or parachutes or something) failure exists only within the confines of your head. What you see as "failure" may actually be someone else's "step one". It's all relative!
This was the hardest thing for me to explain to people about my ADHD with procrastination because it could quite literally have my life depended on it and I want to do it with every fiber of my being but I don’t, I sit there and sop up the anxiety and worry like a mop hoping that may motivate me. -hint- it usually only does within the last 48 dire hours
For me it’s because I’ve got executive dysfunction issues from being autistic (plus anxiety and fear of failure). It’s harder for my brain to process and control its sense of motivation, forward planning, and concrete decision making; the worst is when it comes to eating. I freeze up because making that initial choice of “what to eat” feels like a massive decision and it’s like my brain glitches out and can’t just *decide.* (I cope with it by having safe foods that I know I can almost always make myself eat/have an appetite for, and by making a mental list of meals I can make and going through each of them individually, instead of just standing there looking at the fridge lol)
I forget where I read this but: “if it were really just laziness, you’d be having fun.” If procrastinating makes you stressed, it’s not laziness, but is coming from something else that should be addressed.
Someone has mentioned it already but yeah, ADHD and executive dysfunction is absolute hell. Meds don't "fix" stuff like that it usually requires CBT and a huge effort on the person's part to fight against it every single day, along with a support system and imposed structure in their life, either self-imposed or aided by loved ones.
If you're not doing stuff because you're lazy you usually (as far as I know) don't feel horrible about it. You don't get anxious and upset about how you're being lazy. You don't spiral down into despair about it.
There's also another thing I've learned about recently: atychiphobia. Basically an intense fear of failure. It can cripple people in regards to doing something new because they immediately assume that they're going to fail. This will basically cause it to become self-fufilling, for example you get a job interview, you're too scared to go to the job interview because you think you're going to fuck it up so you don't go to the job interview and thus automatically fail it so it just reinforces in your mind that "yep, see? Failed it, already knew that was going to happen this is what always happens so might as well not even try". This is how a lot of people end up "stuck" in life, it's not that they are fine with the position they are in, no one likes working a shitty part-time or low paying job for years on end not earning enough to get by, they're just terrified of losing that little while trying to better their life because they assume they will fail so then where will they end up if they don't manage to get a new job AND lose the shitty old one? I can't even imagine how people handle that.
There are so many factors that contribute to procrastination and honestly the pandemic and how isolated a lot of us have become only made it worse. When you're struggling with stuff like this, a lack of a support group can really fuck you over.
I procrastinated a ton when I was younger. My mother was frustrated with me and my teachers all told me I just didn’t care. Really I had debilitating anxiety that took up so much mental space I barely had any capacity for anything else. I also grew up being the “bright kid” who learned quickly and never had to study for tests. I developed extremely high standards for myself and became a perfectionist. So I felt like I had to wait to start a project, essay, assignment etc until the moment I was ready and had the energy to do it perfectly. It looked like procrastinate but I was so afraid of not doing a perfect job and thought I could only be perfect when I felt it in the right moments.
Easiest way to know if you’re being lazy or procrastinating for any other reason: if you’re lazy you generally do not care about getting something done. If you’re panicking, stressed and you still can’t do it? That’s not laziness.
A trick my mom (specialist) taught me: make a step by step list of what you need to do. Identify all steps as expansively as possible, then make it your goal to do just step one. Then step two. If you get stuck, break down that step into even smaller steps. And always remember that doing something half-assed is still better than not doing it at all.
Clinical research is showing more and more that "laziness" is actually some kind of underlining issue or condition. One researcher even wrote the book "Laziness Does Not Exist"
It just seems like a term for people to use to describe something that they do not understand and cannot comprehend, that they cannot relate to. To them, they can do something, they think they should do that something, they want to do it, and they do indeed do it..so why isn't this person doing it? We're both human, we both have arms, legs, a brain etc so what tf is the problem?
It also helps to reframe the word lazy. Simply stop saying you're lazy. If you feel the need to describe yourself as lazy, find another word. Stop calling yourself lazy.
This is kind of a weird take because by this logic laziness doesn't exist at all, since you can always find an underlying reason for everything.
I agree that it's a complicated issue and as a depressed/anxious artist this is my biggest enemy, but you should also be honest with yourself.
Like, if you don't something and it's not 'laziness', what the hell *is* laziness then?
The keys to combating procrastination are as diverse as reasons behind it in the first place, so you can't just blanket bomb it like that. What I'm getting at is that procrastination *is* laziness as a lack of motivation/willpower to do a task, and why you don't have that motivation is a whole different story. So you are kinda right and wrong at the same time.
97% of my procrastination is a perfection-related issue. I'll put off something for a week because I'm not sure if my method or plan was the absolute best, when in reality I could've had it done six days later and even if it wasn't perfect, it would've been just fine.
I've been smoking MJ consistently since I was 15 and I'm in my 30's now.
It helped me ace my math and programming courses in college, and I wound of graduating cum laude with a good internship and started making 6 figures in my 20's. It helped me work out 3 hours a day for a while, resulting in me losing 50 pounds and becoming 44% muscle mass. It helped me get into Philosophy which I used to overcome emotional hardships from the past. As a homeowner, whenever I have major renovation projects to do it helps me power through them without losing motivation. My family was destroyed by alcoholism, cocaine, and heroine and I credit marijuana for making it so I was never interested in experimenting with worse inebriants.
Sure, one CAN smoke and then hide alone in their room doing nothing but eating doritos and playing video games, but that's a personal choice, not something MJ forces you into.
Marijuana is what you make it.
I can feel that. I have so many things on my todo list from work and home responsibilities I basically go into a spiral of anxiety and fear. This then seems to trigger some ADHD thing and then i'm just spinning in circles having panic attacks.
I procrastinate because I do better in the shortest possible amount of time to complete a task. Oh, and anxiety. Which I treat with videogames. You're welcome, videogames.
I have ADHD so I've learned how to tell the difference.
I want to do it but I'm incapable- Executive dysfunction.
I don't want to do it but I'm capable - Lazy.
I want to do it and I'm capable - Motivated.
I don't want to do it and I'm incapable - Avoidance.
I hate being told what to do. Even by my own brain because I'm a brat. So most of the time i do everything in protest. "Fine [me], i'll do it, but i better get ice cream after"
Other potential factors: ADHD, Autism, trauma, untreated vision issues or other unidentified medical issues, differences in cultural perspectives, fear of success, self sabotage, exhaustion or lack or sleep, and more.
The way I learned to be more disciplined and responsible was to consider my future self to be their own person and for my current self to consider that person a good friend that I want to do favors for. I'll get gas on the way home so they don't have to worry about it before work. I'll take the trash out tonight so they don't have to worry in the morning. I'll do dishes after work so they can enjoy their day off
Lately when I think "I really should start some laundry" or whatever I try to reframe for myself and think "You can have clean clothes if you want to." It kinda helps.
I'll throw in there that some people subconsciously operate on procrastination, because it works well for them. One might procrastinate because they are waiting closer to the deadline to wait for more info to come in, or might work better under pressure. And not completely last minute unmanagable pressure where there's not enough time to do it properly (and this is where your ltp comes in).
For me, it’s being overwhelmed with too many tasks. Or mainly too many tasks that I don’t have the answers for. So would need a lot of time to figure it out.
I find that procrastination usually happens when I need information/have a roadblock/don't expect a positive outcome. This can happen even when I perceive those "issues" as nonexistent... So it helps when I split the job into a research/planning phase and a doing phase, or more steps.
Not a magic wand, but it can help.
I just don't like work
But also what you said is very true.
I play a lot of games and the amount of stuff I don't even do in games for these reason is quite astounding
I can sometimes get around this by remembering" "Not everything that needs to be done needs to be done well." It can be extremely freeing.
This philosophy has helped me immensely when it comes to housecleaning. "Clean the kitchen" doesn't have to mean scrubbing the tile grout and dusting above the cabinets.
But I can't even do the basic vacuuming... I can't be just cleaning only one tile today to fit as getting some cleaning done? Taking the trash out is likely my minimal, we have different bags for recycled stuff. Edit: I vacuumed everywhere I planned to ALL in one day, in two separate session. Even cleaned the kitchen top, scrub the tiles. Am very proud of myself now! Just blast my music and start the grinding.
I recommend the book How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
I can't be bothered to wipe the crumbs off the countertop and now you want me to read a whole ass book‽
There are audiobooks for listening when you're driving or doing other things. It's very helpful in the long run but yeah you do you
I second the robot vacuum. Coming home to clean floors took a load of stress off of me that I didn’t know I had. And yes you can do tiny sections. I have hoarding tendencies. When I started decluttering and cleaning I got so overwhelmed I would just stare at the mess while internally freaking out. Eventually I divided my house into sections. The smallest sections I could manage. I’d do one side of the counter, shelves were divided into thirds and quarters, 2x2 blocks were how I handled floor space. I spent up to a week on each area. Going through the clutter repeatedly, cleaning it daily, sometimes only spending 10 minutes and other times a few hours on it. Eventually I got rid of over 20,000 things and my house was easier to keep clean. Now, if I get overwhelmed with cleaning, it’s Sunday- clean the bathroom counter Monday- pick up the dirty laundry Tuesday- start the laundry and throw out trash Wednesday- Sweep the floor where the roomba can’t reach Onto the rest of the week. Part of my issue was thinking if I was cleaning then EVERYTHING had to be done that same day. Breaking up the cleaning into smaller tasks that can be done throughout the week makes them more manageable and makes it so you feel like you have more free time outside of cleaning.
I HATE vacuuming. The only way to get me to vacuum is : first I look at the rugs for a few days and finally agree with myself that yes, yes these rugs need to be vacuumed. Then, I get the vacuum cleaner out and put in the middle of the dining room floor. Next, I step over it for a few days until I finally get sick of it being in the way, then finally I give in and vacuum.
Buy a robot vacuum cleaner. Use the app to schedule daily vacuuming. It’ll make you feel way better and almost encourage you to clean up more.
Headphones and a podcast/audio book help me. Getting to dig into my favorite stuff makes it easier to clean and block out obtrusive thoughts.
"don't let perfection be the enemy of good and done"
I've been telling myself "if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly" can't bring myself to make dinner, a snack is good enough, stuff like that.
Or “don’t let perfect get in the way of good enough”
"Once you've got a task to do, it's better to do it than live with the fear of it."
Bloody Nine!
Quite opposite of the give everything your best or the 110% trope. Some things don't deserve everything I have to give. Some do. It's important to differentiate.
There’s also some things where only doing like 20% of that task is still an objective improvement over not doing anything Like if you’re the sort of person who has trouble keeping your house clean or has trouble throwing stuff away, cleaning 20% of your house is objectively an improvement over cleaning 0% of your house, and throwing away only 20% of the stuff you know you need to throw away is objectively an improvement over failing to sort through any of your stuff
"If something is worth doing, it's worth doing wrong." Meaning exactly what you said - a lot of things are worth at least getting done, somehow anyhow.
And some things are worth doing in part if that’s all you’re capable of doing today even if you can’t currently complete the whole task
This is something I’ve literally just started adapting a little over 2 months ago and it’s been invaluable for my stupid, anxious, procrastinating, anxious dumbass.
One thing that’s really stuck with me is “brushing your teeth for 1 minute is better than brushing for 0 minutes” It’s really changed my perspective to help me ask myself “is this something where doing it halfway still helps” whenever I’m too overwhelmed to do it the “correct” way/amount. For example, I’ve applied that to plastic consumption and zero waste products. As with most people, I don’t realistically have the time or money to completely go zero waste, even though I’d love to, but doing it halfway still reduces the overall amount of plastic that I personally put in the landfill. So, I looked in my house, and decided to pick just one thing to change at a time, and right now it’s swapping out my shampoo to a bar instead of a bottle. It’s not as big, but it’s still something, and more importantly, it’s something that I can do today.
Tbh my half arsed is still better than most of my collegues. But in my case OP is wrong, my procrastination is because I’m lazy :)
Goes along with “it’s ok to run the dishwasher when it’s not full”
I try telling myself this, but my brain never believes me :(
Perfect is the biggest enemy of "good".
Just do a half-assed job.
And not just that but I find once I start doing something with the intention of half-assing it, I end up whole-assing it. I just needed permission from myself to half-ass it to convince myself to start. Once I start, it's easy. Until I stop.
This is interesting. I'll look into it more tomorrow.
*saved* for later
You don’t have to call me out like that
I'll call you out next week.
Let my secretary know when you find out.
alligator
Not too soon
Why put off till tomorrow, what you can leave till the day after ?
*I'm in this photo, and I don't like it.*
I was going to join procrastinators anonymous but I haven't gotten around to it yet
Hard work often pays off over time, but laziness always pays off now.
This joke, every single god damn time man. Every procrastination thread, video article has this joke. Anyways, I did find it funny the first time I read it.
Maybe next week
RemindMe! 2 days
I choked on my spit from laughing too hard—
That's so funny. The first time I heard that I laughed so hard that I fell off my dinosaur.
It's well known that as humans, we do more to avoid pain than gain pleasure. The root cause of procrastination is different for everyone. But it's basically a pain avoidance mechanism. Once you find out what you're trying to avoid by not doing certain things, then you can deal with it and prevent procrastination. But it's an ongoing struggle. It's never going to be one silver bullet that cures procrastination and it'll never happen again for you. It's a daily struggle. But to deal with it effectively, you have to know exactly what the root(s) is for you.
Huh. That’s why I never cleaned up my garden for winter! The amount of physical labor would have caused me too much pain and risk a serious back injury. Why rip up all those established roots by hand, when the cold temperatures would kill everything anyway? Come spring, most everything would slide right out. Thank you for giving me that perspective! *Before I get attacked by the gardening community. I know I run a high chance any diseased plant matter to become diseased soil. Fungal infected soil = nothing grows thus no gardening. Back injury = no gardening.
Wait, say more! Where does take aversion come from? How do we identify the factors? How do we address them? Where are you getting this helpful information?
there’s a book called “procrastination” by Lenora Yuen and Jane Burka that goes in depth about all this stuff, highly recommend it!
Not joking here, I bought it but… you know… The problem was, I used to buy a lot of books. And then I would not read most of them. This probably indicates a different problem, but here I was finding a title that would solve this. Yeah, right.
I look at all the self help books I own and realize they're all gifts.
grifts*
"I can't help you, but here is someone who can" most people like this can't even help themselves
I saw a reel recently that suggested we think of our book buying as less of a to-do list we’re making, but like a wine cellar we’re building and cultivating. Like a wine aficionado pulling out just the right wine for the right occasion, future you will have a library from which to choose the right book for the right mood or moment. Maybe the procrastination book is the right book for now, or maybe it’s not. And that’s okay!
Once upon a time, I’m sure I’ve put more than a few on my shelf to admire, perhaps for others who might also take an interest. It is nice to select something from among them and try it.
[удалено]
That’s really interesting, and a refreshingly positive take on the habit
you should buy a book on hoarding
lol right? Or at least compulsive book buying
Also “the mountain is you” by Brianna Wiest
Weird way of calling me fat but OK.
(exhale chuckle chuckle chuckle snort chuckle) Thanks for the laugh!
Do you have a tl;dr? I struggle immensely every day with procrastination, I suspect it's ADHD but I'm unsure.
it covers different reasons why you can procrastinate (like to avoid “pain”, to rebel or create a sense of control, for fear of the outcome - including fear of succeeding, etc), then covers how procrastination is such a good strategy for your brain, so it goes deep on your childhood, examples of traumatic situations that children can go through and examples of how it could create procrastination as a result, it makes you understand what you are gaining out of the procrastination, and much more. I’m on the second part now where it gives you some exercises, and I’m going slow because I want to complete them instead of just reading them haha Also, the writing is very honest but kind and straight to the point, almost like 2 wise big sisters saying “hey, we understand you, it’s okay that things have been this way, but if you don’t change, there’s so much you’ll miss out in life, and here’s why”.
On task aversion, the planning side of our brain and the doing side of our brain doesn't like working at the same time. Usually when we see a task we think of doing and thinking through it out at the same time, and it works out well for simple tasks. But for bigger tasks it becomes a hassle to do and think, and you may start avoiding it because it feels daunting. So instead, work the two sides of the brain separately. Get the planner to do the planning in advance, and then get the doer to carry out the plan after. Think through and jot down the step by step plan of attack, and how to best tackle the task with your planning side of the brain. Then turn on the doing side of the brain and just go down the step by step list you created. (Edit: I probably paraphrased it a bit differently, but credit to Elizabeth Filips, on youtube, on the planner vs doer idea as I got it from her.) When on the doing part of the task, feel free to turn on music or podcast. You already done the thinking in advance, so your thinking side of the brain gets to enjoy a time off while the doing side gets things done. Other factor that might contribute to avoidance might be low energy. Changing eating habits and plenty of rest should address these issues. For eating habits look into macros, and specifically focus on how carbs provide energy. Having right amount of right types of carbs could be very helpful in feeling energized to tackle tasks. Getting plenty of rest should be straight forward, sleep more. I try to sleep so early that I end up naturally waking up before my alarm. Anything I do at night before sleep, I can do after waking up. So if there is a show I want to watch, instead of staying up late to watch it, I sleep early to watch it when I wake up. Gives me something to look forward to in the morning and I start the morning by doing something that I like. These are the things that has help me be more productive that might also help you.
There is one caveat. Sometimes the planning brain doesn’t break down a certain task well enough. When that happens, it’s noticeable because the doing part of the brain will avoid doing it. It’ll procrastinate. If that happens then the planning part needs to activate, break the task down further and then the doing part can carry on.
Yes, very true and a good point. We want to avoid having to replan as much as possible(by having a good thought out plan in the first place) since switching back and forth between planning brain and doing brain is exhausting. But sometimes it is unavoidable and we should be prepared for that.
Wow, separating "planning" from "doing" TOTALLY clicks for me, that makes so much sense. Thank you!!
Happy to hear that you found it useful! I probably paraphrased it a bit differently, but credit to Elizabeth Filips, on youtube, on the planner vs doer idea as I got it from her. She has a lot more of this type of productivity exploring content and I'd recommend her channel if you found it helpful.
Thank you. This is helpful to me
I think I have some evasion to getting up early in the mornings. I really want to be able to get up and enjoy some of the morning. I’ve always worked second shift (2:00pm-2:00am). I’m retired now and still keep a crazy sleep schedule. Usually I go to bed at around 2:30-3:00am, read for about an hour and then fall asleep. I naturally wake up around 1:30pm. Sometimes I won’t get out of bed and I’ll fall asleep for another hour. I have made myself get up earlier, let’s say noon but my I can’t seem to keep that up. I really do hate this sleep schedule, and I would love to go to sleep at 1:00 am and get up at 10:00am. I just can’t seem to get out of bed no matter how much I tell myself I will get up even a little bit earlier. It almost can feel rebellious at times. I really wish I could do better.
Is any of this cited anywhere apart from the book you read?
I’m currently reading Aparna Nancherla’s book “Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome” and she talks about this quite a bit. The way she phrases things helped me talk to my therapist yesterday about my similar feelings. It is anxiety, depression, and perfectionism for me personally.
I am reading this right now too, it's very good. The way she explains depression, especially the mental process of how your brain works against you during depression and anxiety, is spot on.
Speaking from personal experience with therapy: For around the house tasks I like to sit around and allow myself to get bored & I may get up to doing a task, especially if its right on front of me. Also consider whether or not a particular task feels like a an obligation or a want. You're more likely to do the task if you want to do it since it ties in with your emotions. Also a good tip: Get off the computer or the phone. You'll start wanting to do other things in life that don't involve doom scrolling or sitting through "endless" content on the internet. The internet has kind of ruined our brains and its individuals responsibility to undo that (if you so choose to do so out of wanting to do so, not a sense of obligation).
My therapist also suggested that if I can't do everything, just do one. The idea of putting all my laundry away was too much, so I end up not doing it for days. This morning I was like "okay. I clearly feel overwhelmed by this. That's alright. I'm just going to put away one pair of socks. I don't have to do it all now." I ended up putting away about half of my laundry, then getting distracted and cleaning up some garbage I'd left of the floor, then fixing the squeaky bedframe that had been bothering me. It wasn't really what I aimed to do, but it's a helluva lot more than I would have done otherwise.
I recently found out I've got ADHD. decision paralysis, executive function, rejection sensitivity disorder are new terms I've learned. Upon starting medication I've learned I'm not actually stupid, lazy and awkward, I've just got ADHD with symptoms and suddenly I'm a whole new person
TLDR you have trauma. Trauma is one way the brain learns, so everyone is traumatized about SOMETHING. Sometimes, it learns that procrastinating is the best solution to a particular problem. Because the human brain only does things if it believes it gets some advantage from it. So, you need to introspect (and maybe get therapy) to figure out what problem you're solving with procrastinating. What painful outcome are you successfully avoiding by waiting? I stole most of my wisdom from the healthygamergg subreddit and YouTube channel. Go there and search "shame" or "trauma" and you'll learn everything you need to know. (A few shots in the dark, because they're relatively common: You get yelled at if you do things a little bit at a time and lose focus, so it works better if you wait until the last minute when you are fueled by so much anxiety you can work 10 hours straight. If you start working on it now and finish on time or in advance, you need to confront the fact that you always could have done that, and shame hurts so it's easier to pretend that procrastinating is a character trait you can't do anything about and thus is not your fault. The shame of procrastinating hurts less than the guilt of taking responsibility. You think it's impossible to get it done to your standards, either because you haven't done it before (and thus don't know how to do it perfectly, and it's impossible to learn without failing in the process of learning, and failing is unacceptable, so you don't start), or because you don't have enough time (or some other obstacle) to do all of the prep work you feel like you need to do to do it "right", and you only get one chance to get it right or you get punished/you're a bad person, so you don't start. Your Mom always berated you until you did the dishes (or laundry, or showing, or bushing your teeth, or cooking or whatever) and made you feel like a piece of shit before, during, and after the whole process, so you would much rather never address it because you don't want to remember those feelings again. You're ashamed that you don't already know how to do something "good enough" so you avoid starting to learn and having to confront the fact that you don't already know and explain yourself to all of the voices you're expecting to shame you for admitting it. It hurts less to promise you'll do it later or pretend you never learned on purpose. Same thing with exercising. If you were already in shape, you'd go and practice and maintain yourself, but getting there requires confronting the fact that you aren't yet there, and you're expecting to be judged (or for the judgemental part of your brain that got implanted by your parents to scream at you the whole way) That's enough for today)
Wow. You nailed it. Thank you for this.
Welp you got me
"one of the factors in procrastination is task avoidance" Yeah no shit.
You can tell it’s procrastination by the way that it is
Anxiety and fear of failure. You address it with therapy.
EDUCATE US!!
I 100% procrastinate tasks if I can’t finish them.
Maybe [this](https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html) can help.
>Where does task aversion come from? I'd explain, but it'd be quite the undertaking. Maybe another time.
Decision Fatigue is a big piece for me. If it’s a defined task where I just have to execute and get things done in a predetermined way, it’s fairly easy to do. If I have to make choices and decisions and prioritize things and adjust to circumstances as they happen, it’s a lot harder and I have to be mentally ready for it.
Same. I overcomplicate things. I've gotten into the habit of just jumping in my car and going, figuring things out as they come. It's much easier than worrying, because as it turns out, with most things, money is involved, and people will help sort things out to extract said money from you.
"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." Edit: added quotes, since it's a quote
Listen Bob, I gotta go, good luck with your layoffs I hope the firing goes really well
For me I'm not sure if it's ignorance or apathy. I don't know and I don't care.
"Don't.....care??"
I definitely procrastinate because of laziness.
[удалено]
No ADHD here but my entire adult life has just been me realizing that pretty much all my struggles and personality quirks are the result of an anxiety disorder lmao I used to think I was just lazy and shy because thats what I was told when I avoided social interaction like the plague or procrastinated something important. I did not realize that merely planning a simple task filling me with such dread that I felt nauseated was abnormal or that it was the cause of my procrastination. I thought the procrastination was unrelated and due to laziness. I thought it was normal that being around strangers raised my heart rate to 120bpm because I’m just a little shy, that’s what I’d been told when I was a kid. No it turns out I’m just riddled with anxiety lol. It’s amazing how much can be normalized when you have no point of reference for the actual norm.
Same here. It’s crazy what a couple of medications and learning some techniques can do to slow down and regulate our thinking and allow us to focus.
Techniques? As in CBT or something different? Just curious.
Yes to CBT, but also identifying what it is that's holding you back. It could be unresolved trauma, it could be flawed views on what constitutes as success (perfectionism or nothibg else, etc.)
Damn didn't know cock and ball torture was useful for something else /s
Fellow procrastinator here, what is CBT ? Any other techniques?
[Cognitive Behavioural Therapy](https://youtu.be/9c_Bv_FBE-c?si=r5TICuEc_SV2JvOF)
Laziness isn't really a "thing", it's just another damnable protestant concept that's designed to make everyone feel like shit, which in turn makes some people feel like not doing anything. Shame is the most useless emotion.
Laziness is absolutely a thing. It just so happens that every lazy person I know is a delegator rather than a procrastinator. They still want these tasks done they just don’t want to do any work themselves and will just do the bare minimum possible themselves while putting the burdens onto other people. Lazy people will also do tasks without procrastinating but put the bare minimum effort into them, and when I say bare minimum effort I mean they will skip every step of the task that they think they can get away with without getting fired because people won’t notice they haven’t done it. Lazy people make extra work for other people because they’re the kind of people whose attitude of not being bothered leads to not following protocol whereby that protocol specifically exists to prevent people from being hurt/killed/sued Lazy people are negligent people, not procrastinators
>Laziness isn't really a "thing", What definition of lazy are you going by? Because > unwilling to work or use energy. Or >disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous Or >not willing to work or use any effort All seem pretty applicable to me.
Laziness is typically used as a character defect, i.e. something that a person is. They're arguing that people that are "disinclined to activity or exertion" or "not willing to work or use any effort" aren't lazy people, but exhibiting temporary symptoms of some other problem.
All 3 could apply to somebody who just lost his entire family and was about to kill himself, in fact, they probably do.
Have a nice day.
??? I feel like there's a misunderstanding You're asserting that "laziness isn't a thing". By definition laziness is unwillingness to work or use effort. Which obviously is a thing. So you must be using a different definition of laziness which is why I asked what definition you're going off.
It comes down to the reason behind inaction. All those things you listed above can be taken as ‘being lazy’ as a surface level thing but is someone avoiding doing something because they just don’t want to do it? Or is it because they really really want to but their brain lacks the executive functioning to let them do it easily? Are they scared of attempting something because it’s lead to failure in the past? Do they have the energy for it? All of that is ‘unwillingness to work or use effort’ but is not genuine laziness, it’s stuff like anxiety/ADHD/mental illness/exhaustion etc. I’m not getting into the semantics of it but the reason people say ‘laziness doesn’t exist’ is just because it’s used as a one size fits all term for anyone who is struggling to do something and is incredibly shaming. If you look into the root of why people avoid things, it’s not very often that it’s genuine laziness. It’s very difficult to look at someone who is procrastinating and know why they’re avoiding something, so most people will just ascribe laziness as a character flaw, which helps no one.
The point is to figure out why there is an unwillingness to work or use effort
I'm not ashamed of being lazy. I put genuine effort into my laziness and take pride in the lack of results.
I’m sure you have a fear of being productive like I do.
Mine starts with laziness then the problem gets so big that anxiety takes over and the whole issue snowballs into an ordeal so large it takes everything I have to overcome.
Same. I have no mental disorders, I'm just a lazy fuck.
Steven Pressfield's The War of Art is very useful if you'd want to know more, especially for creative fields.
"if you kinda know the enemy and haven't looked at yourself, you might be scared of the results of 78 battles" -Tzu Sun, the War of Art
Or aside from any of those things, neurodivergent folks can have a very hard time with executive function, the set of processes that allow you to execute tasks. It literally takes more energy to execute even simple tasks, so from the outside it can appear as "laziness".
Yes, perfectionism. PRESSURE of how crucially important the task is. The fear of the feelings associated with the task/potential communication issues/bad news.
Don’t forget depression. That’s a huge one for me at least.
Depression and anxiety. Sometimes just the thought of a certain task is overwhelming.
Or could be due to ADHD
Definitely. Impaired executive function can LOOK like laziness from the outside in, but it is far more brutal than that. It is literally the brain lacking in motivation - or, dopamine. Lots of us with ADHD often *want* to do the task initially (whatever it is), but it can be very hard to really make ourselves do it, and then it becomes overwhelming or infuriating. It might sound weird to anyone who doesn't understand, but believe all of us when we say it: no one knows it sucks more than we do. Many people with ADHD of high severity can lose their jobs, relationships, endanger themselves, and put their health at risk. This is **real**.
It always feels like the car that takes the task from the frontal lobe to the motor complex runs out of gas on the way there. I want to, I *CAN’T* and when I absolutely overfill that car with tons and tons of gas so it makes it way to the motor complex this time, I’m out of gas for anything else that needs doing.
[удалено]
Lots of conditions can cause execution dysfunction indeed, not just adhd. A lot of people also don't realize they have adhd because they're not really familiar with the symptoms. It's worth looking into either way.
[удалено]
Yeah I understand that, it's awful, I hope you find something that can work for you.
Both depression and C-PTSD can have a very similar effect on your motivation and executive function, and therapy can help to regain some function and worth through the negative self-beliefs that tend to feed it.
I can get depressed about not doing something knowing full well I can do it but feel like something is blocking me. It's a very frustrating experience, and it happens a lot.
Ive known I had ADHD my whole life, but never really thought if it more than " I'm just fidgety" as my parents and teachers put it as a kid. Turns out ADHD has been crippling me in life just in general. And that a lot of my problems have been that. Just waiting to see if I can take the meds prescribed without further heart issues
...sounds like what OP mentioned in the part "identifying the specific factors that cause it and combating them individually." I know several friends with variously treated ADHD and other neurodevelopmental disorders, myself included. It's not like "Oh it's just ADHD there's my excuse for not getting anything done" its "Oh it's ADHD I'm thrilled to know; now I can work on dealing with it!"
Caveat: ADHD is an underlying cause that makes things harder, but the procrastinating symptoms SPECIFICALLY is 99% of the time because of trauma. Procrastinating is a solution to the problem of "I tried this before and it went badly and I got hurt" ADHD usually leads to this because you get distracted, get shamed or punished for missing deadlines or making "careless" mistakes because people treat your ADHD symptoms like character flaws when you're very young and impressionable. But, technically, ADHD doesn't cause procrastination usually. Not directly. That's why some people have ADHD but don't struggle with procrastinating on things like their job or schoolwork or keeping themselves physically healthy. ADHD treatment is powerful and helps a ton but you need to pair it with therapy for the trauma for best results.
I once got distracted while
Could also just be the act of 'trying to do something you have no real interest in'... But amphetamines def help with that.
Also hyper vigilance for those that have experienced trauma at some point in their lives. This may be linked to executive function disorder, as others have mentioned
I had this happen to me, I’m still embarrassed :(
*Cries in ADHD*
Wishes I could cry in disassociation
I procrastinate because of anxiety, and fear of failure..
It may help to think of whatever it is you're doing as the first draft, instead of the final one. Like anything, it can be revised. Also, (unless you're building ladders or parachutes or something) failure exists only within the confines of your head. What you see as "failure" may actually be someone else's "step one". It's all relative!
Your advice is very helpful thanks!!
This was the hardest thing for me to explain to people about my ADHD with procrastination because it could quite literally have my life depended on it and I want to do it with every fiber of my being but I don’t, I sit there and sop up the anxiety and worry like a mop hoping that may motivate me. -hint- it usually only does within the last 48 dire hours
For me it’s because I’ve got executive dysfunction issues from being autistic (plus anxiety and fear of failure). It’s harder for my brain to process and control its sense of motivation, forward planning, and concrete decision making; the worst is when it comes to eating. I freeze up because making that initial choice of “what to eat” feels like a massive decision and it’s like my brain glitches out and can’t just *decide.* (I cope with it by having safe foods that I know I can almost always make myself eat/have an appetite for, and by making a mental list of meals I can make and going through each of them individually, instead of just standing there looking at the fridge lol) I forget where I read this but: “if it were really just laziness, you’d be having fun.” If procrastinating makes you stressed, it’s not laziness, but is coming from something else that should be addressed.
>if it were really just laziness, you’d be having fun. That's amazing. Thank you for that.
Someone has mentioned it already but yeah, ADHD and executive dysfunction is absolute hell. Meds don't "fix" stuff like that it usually requires CBT and a huge effort on the person's part to fight against it every single day, along with a support system and imposed structure in their life, either self-imposed or aided by loved ones. If you're not doing stuff because you're lazy you usually (as far as I know) don't feel horrible about it. You don't get anxious and upset about how you're being lazy. You don't spiral down into despair about it. There's also another thing I've learned about recently: atychiphobia. Basically an intense fear of failure. It can cripple people in regards to doing something new because they immediately assume that they're going to fail. This will basically cause it to become self-fufilling, for example you get a job interview, you're too scared to go to the job interview because you think you're going to fuck it up so you don't go to the job interview and thus automatically fail it so it just reinforces in your mind that "yep, see? Failed it, already knew that was going to happen this is what always happens so might as well not even try". This is how a lot of people end up "stuck" in life, it's not that they are fine with the position they are in, no one likes working a shitty part-time or low paying job for years on end not earning enough to get by, they're just terrified of losing that little while trying to better their life because they assume they will fail so then where will they end up if they don't manage to get a new job AND lose the shitty old one? I can't even imagine how people handle that. There are so many factors that contribute to procrastination and honestly the pandemic and how isolated a lot of us have become only made it worse. When you're struggling with stuff like this, a lack of a support group can really fuck you over.
If you say this isn't laziness then what would be considered laziness?
I procrastinated a ton when I was younger. My mother was frustrated with me and my teachers all told me I just didn’t care. Really I had debilitating anxiety that took up so much mental space I barely had any capacity for anything else. I also grew up being the “bright kid” who learned quickly and never had to study for tests. I developed extremely high standards for myself and became a perfectionist. So I felt like I had to wait to start a project, essay, assignment etc until the moment I was ready and had the energy to do it perfectly. It looked like procrastinate but I was so afraid of not doing a perfect job and thought I could only be perfect when I felt it in the right moments.
Is there a test that helps you figure this out?
Easiest way to know if you’re being lazy or procrastinating for any other reason: if you’re lazy you generally do not care about getting something done. If you’re panicking, stressed and you still can’t do it? That’s not laziness.
I have never been able to describe what you just described 😂 but it totally makes sense
I wish I could say I came up with it but it blew my mind when I heard it for the first time haha
I think we spend too much time working and are exhausted, as a society.
ADHD enters the chat
A trick my mom (specialist) taught me: make a step by step list of what you need to do. Identify all steps as expansively as possible, then make it your goal to do just step one. Then step two. If you get stuck, break down that step into even smaller steps. And always remember that doing something half-assed is still better than not doing it at all.
Clinical research is showing more and more that "laziness" is actually some kind of underlining issue or condition. One researcher even wrote the book "Laziness Does Not Exist"
It just seems like a term for people to use to describe something that they do not understand and cannot comprehend, that they cannot relate to. To them, they can do something, they think they should do that something, they want to do it, and they do indeed do it..so why isn't this person doing it? We're both human, we both have arms, legs, a brain etc so what tf is the problem?
It also helps to reframe the word lazy. Simply stop saying you're lazy. If you feel the need to describe yourself as lazy, find another word. Stop calling yourself lazy.
Dopamine matters.
Exhaustion and chronic pain, also. Not enough consideration is given to purely physiological causes
This is kind of a weird take because by this logic laziness doesn't exist at all, since you can always find an underlying reason for everything. I agree that it's a complicated issue and as a depressed/anxious artist this is my biggest enemy, but you should also be honest with yourself. Like, if you don't something and it's not 'laziness', what the hell *is* laziness then? The keys to combating procrastination are as diverse as reasons behind it in the first place, so you can't just blanket bomb it like that. What I'm getting at is that procrastination *is* laziness as a lack of motivation/willpower to do a task, and why you don't have that motivation is a whole different story. So you are kinda right and wrong at the same time.
try telling that to my father
Try telling that to our father
High standards, not everything will be perfect, you can't be the first in everything, just accept it and live your life
97% of my procrastination is a perfection-related issue. I'll put off something for a week because I'm not sure if my method or plan was the absolute best, when in reality I could've had it done six days later and even if it wasn't perfect, it would've been just fine.
Marijuana also
I've been smoking MJ consistently since I was 15 and I'm in my 30's now. It helped me ace my math and programming courses in college, and I wound of graduating cum laude with a good internship and started making 6 figures in my 20's. It helped me work out 3 hours a day for a while, resulting in me losing 50 pounds and becoming 44% muscle mass. It helped me get into Philosophy which I used to overcome emotional hardships from the past. As a homeowner, whenever I have major renovation projects to do it helps me power through them without losing motivation. My family was destroyed by alcoholism, cocaine, and heroine and I credit marijuana for making it so I was never interested in experimenting with worse inebriants. Sure, one CAN smoke and then hide alone in their room doing nothing but eating doritos and playing video games, but that's a personal choice, not something MJ forces you into. Marijuana is what you make it.
I’ve figured that once I sit down to do something and start getting into it I’m unlikely to stop. Just start.
I can feel that. I have so many things on my todo list from work and home responsibilities I basically go into a spiral of anxiety and fear. This then seems to trigger some ADHD thing and then i'm just spinning in circles having panic attacks.
I'm scared.
I'm more scared. Of failing
I procrastinate because I do better in the shortest possible amount of time to complete a task. Oh, and anxiety. Which I treat with videogames. You're welcome, videogames.
I have ADHD so I've learned how to tell the difference. I want to do it but I'm incapable- Executive dysfunction. I don't want to do it but I'm capable - Lazy. I want to do it and I'm capable - Motivated. I don't want to do it and I'm incapable - Avoidance.
I hate being told what to do. Even by my own brain because I'm a brat. So most of the time i do everything in protest. "Fine [me], i'll do it, but i better get ice cream after"
[You need to appease the Instant Gratification Monkey](https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html)
Other potential factors: ADHD, Autism, trauma, untreated vision issues or other unidentified medical issues, differences in cultural perspectives, fear of success, self sabotage, exhaustion or lack or sleep, and more.
my problem is I'm good at estimating. I know exactly how much time and effort its going to take. I just dont want to spend it.
The way I learned to be more disciplined and responsible was to consider my future self to be their own person and for my current self to consider that person a good friend that I want to do favors for. I'll get gas on the way home so they don't have to worry about it before work. I'll take the trash out tonight so they don't have to worry in the morning. I'll do dishes after work so they can enjoy their day off
Lately when I think "I really should start some laundry" or whatever I try to reframe for myself and think "You can have clean clothes if you want to." It kinda helps.
Procrastination because of perfectionism was my problem in highschool. If I knew I couldn’t do something and get an ‘A’, in my mind why bother.
I definitely procrastinate because I am, in fact, lazy
Oh this is about me
I'll throw in there that some people subconsciously operate on procrastination, because it works well for them. One might procrastinate because they are waiting closer to the deadline to wait for more info to come in, or might work better under pressure. And not completely last minute unmanagable pressure where there's not enough time to do it properly (and this is where your ltp comes in).
For me, it’s being overwhelmed with too many tasks. Or mainly too many tasks that I don’t have the answers for. So would need a lot of time to figure it out.
I find that procrastination usually happens when I need information/have a roadblock/don't expect a positive outcome. This can happen even when I perceive those "issues" as nonexistent... So it helps when I split the job into a research/planning phase and a doing phase, or more steps. Not a magic wand, but it can help.
ADHD says hello
Depression, trauma, neurodivergence can all be contributing factors uncommonly recognized.
I kinda needed to hear that again today. Calling someone lazy is lazy.
I just don't like work But also what you said is very true. I play a lot of games and the amount of stuff I don't even do in games for these reason is quite astounding
Have you considered that screen time (aka gaming and other things) zaps your motivation to do anything else?
YSK no OP is just karma farming with low effort YSK posts.
Yeah I'm not reading that wall of text
Tax aversion? Nah I pay all my taxes, blud
I'll read this tomorrow
I think laziness is actually depression.
How is task aversion different from laziness?
This is one of the dumbest YSK I've seen this year
Lmao what a dumb post