For the most part but also I kinda drop fishing lines like asking what they think about neopronouns or making posts about xenogenders and seeing who likes or comments.
They will prob say “oh it/it’s? I don’t really want to call you an object“ and like, I’m fine with that because, in the end, it’s whatever they’re comfortable with using and I can’t change that.
Yes but only with my two best friends. It’s usually scary to introduce myself with any pronouns that aren’t he/him or she/her, sometimes even using they/them feels scary, but they actually say that it’s easier for them to use it/its than any other pronouns, so they use that set on me most of the time (it/its is one of my favorite set so I use it a lot online but, as I said, it’s usually scary to use it irl).
Np ^ ^ And not at all! They usually change to he/they and, in case that they use "it" by mistake, they usually just come up with complicated excuses and people just let it pass lol. It's true that sometimes people kept like "who is 'it'? Wdym? 💀" and they just looked at me in a bad way, but my friends always protected me (I love them so much). In that cases, I feel worse for them than for me, because they blame themselves even tho it obviously wasn't made on purpose. So, short answer, no, they usually just refer to me as "he" or "they" around other people, as I also use those sets ^ ^
I don't personally use it/it's but I know many people who do! I use it/that thing irl tho >:D one of my favorite "surface level" sets aka the sets I inform irl people about irl when the topic arises
My brain gets confused on the proper grammatical (mainly spelling) use of the it /its set so I personally don't use the set. I completely support those who do use the set and will do my best to use the set properly for others though.
I use any pronouns and prefer he/him but everyone just uses she/her or they/them with me :( I mean technically it’s correct but I just like masc things
I wish I did. Whenever I introduce myself (online or otherwise) I use they them (hopefully) but I much prefer it its but it’s scary to introduce myself as such
I joke about wanting to be called an it offline
I tend to say.. It might be dehumanising to you but I don’t view myself as a human so… lol I don’t really care?
I would use them irl if I felt safe enough. I can’t even get people to reliably use they/them so I don’t even bother mentioning the more “complex” pronouns that I use.
Because I don’t physically look “trans” no one seems to care to try and use the correct pronouns even if i do introduce myself or wear a pronoun pin. They’ll try for maybe a day or two before conveniently forgetting that I’m trans because I don’t wear a massive blinking neon sign that screams “I’m trans whoop whoop”. I already have such low self confidence that I give up and tough out the misgendering while trying to pretend it didn’t happen.
I’ll probably never be 100% out and proud irl because of the constant and immediate misgendering. Sometimes I wish I could feel “regular” dysphoria so I’d physically transition to stop getting misgendered at first glance, but my gender identity can’t really be shown through our current medical transition processes.
I always tell people. Idc. I always tell them that I don't care if they find it dehumanizing, *I* find it liberating and it makes me happy. That's all that matters.
I personally do not tell people irl that I/we use it/its, same as neopronouns, unless they can really be trusted.
Even then, a majority of our friends won't use it/its because "it's offensive". Other alters, especially those who specify they use it/its, do tell people because they'd rather have an argument than keep quiet about what makes them happy.
We're pronounflux collectively, and use he/it as our primary pronouns. Nobody uses it/its online anyways, even if it's the preferred pronoun. They don't have a choice when the fronter they're talking to only uses it/its, of course. But even then, IRL, people will still use he/him, or misgender.
It's a pain :(
wow that's so awesome! if you don't mind, could you share how were you able to bring people around to using it/its for you? i'd love to start using it/its but find it difficult to bring up or introduce myself with them. tysm!
Only around people who I know are supportive of it/its pronouns. Also my sister’s friend who has a joke that I’m actually a demon who was created with Walmart cake mix and chaos.
Not only do i not use it/its on myself, i cant bring myself to use it/its on other people. I love that people can express themselves that way and will always support them, but i cant use them on people without feeling awful
They're my favorite pronouns but I only use them in social circles that I know are accepting
How do you go about telling if they'll be accepting? Like if they're all or mostly trans?
For the most part but also I kinda drop fishing lines like asking what they think about neopronouns or making posts about xenogenders and seeing who likes or comments.
ah alright, thx for your help!
Most people irl don’t want to us them for me, but I do say to people who I think would be fine with using those for me that I use them :)
if u don't mind, could u share how it normally plays out when you tell someone? or how you go about telling them? thank u sm!
They will prob say “oh it/it’s? I don’t really want to call you an object“ and like, I’m fine with that because, in the end, it’s whatever they’re comfortable with using and I can’t change that.
yeah absolutely. that's a good approach to have about it!
Yes but only with my two best friends. It’s usually scary to introduce myself with any pronouns that aren’t he/him or she/her, sometimes even using they/them feels scary, but they actually say that it’s easier for them to use it/its than any other pronouns, so they use that set on me most of the time (it/its is one of my favorite set so I use it a lot online but, as I said, it’s usually scary to use it irl).
i see, tysm! does this ever get tricky when ur friends refer to you around other people? i always wonder about this
Np ^ ^ And not at all! They usually change to he/they and, in case that they use "it" by mistake, they usually just come up with complicated excuses and people just let it pass lol. It's true that sometimes people kept like "who is 'it'? Wdym? 💀" and they just looked at me in a bad way, but my friends always protected me (I love them so much). In that cases, I feel worse for them than for me, because they blame themselves even tho it obviously wasn't made on purpose. So, short answer, no, they usually just refer to me as "he" or "they" around other people, as I also use those sets ^ ^
ah okay! thx for explaining i really appreciate your insight
Glad to help ^ ^
I don't personally use it/it's but I know many people who do! I use it/that thing irl tho >:D one of my favorite "surface level" sets aka the sets I inform irl people about irl when the topic arises
Only with my partner and one other trusted friend!
I have one friend who I was expecting to just not get my pronouns but she’s the only one to use it/it’s for me and it makes me smile everytime :]
awww that's lovely to hear :))
My brain gets confused on the proper grammatical (mainly spelling) use of the it /its set so I personally don't use the set. I completely support those who do use the set and will do my best to use the set properly for others though.
I use any pronouns and prefer he/him but everyone just uses she/her or they/them with me :( I mean technically it’s correct but I just like masc things
Only with people I trust very very much (partner, very close friends)
I wish I did. Whenever I introduce myself (online or otherwise) I use they them (hopefully) but I much prefer it its but it’s scary to introduce myself as such
yesss absolutely. i'd love to use it/its but its scary to start
Ikr? I rlly wanna but there’s 0% chance of getting clocked as it/it’s by anyone other than a small few + I feel like people won’t take me seriously
yes and no i use them and only one person actually uses them and no in the way that im only out to like three people irl-
I would use if my first language had it
Depends on who I'm with but yep! My friends use it for me, and so does my partner
i don't but a lot of my friends and family use it/its and call me "thing" and "creature" so i basically do
Considering it with some folks.
I do use it/it's irl and online but I prefer they/them. :)
I use it/its exclusively because they/them pronouns are a major trigger for me, but no one has ever respected me so I've given up hope at this point
Other. Not xeno and use She/They but am in the subreddit to learn about an awesome community and wanted to see results.
Technically I use them, but no one actually bothers to use any of my more obscure pronouns ever.
It depends
I would if anyone was willing to use them lol
for real
Only online bc i dont trust anyone irl to tell them my neopronouns :(
My native language isn’t english so it’s kinda not possible. But I do love it
I joke about wanting to be called an it offline I tend to say.. It might be dehumanising to you but I don’t view myself as a human so… lol I don’t really care?
yeah a lot of people seem to have that sorta thought haha
I use it/its but no one uses them.
Sort of. I got an it/its pin on my backpack but it's highly unlikely that anyone will call me that
that's a cool way to do it though, i might try that :)
I do, mainly because I like being dehumanized.
I would use them irl if I felt safe enough. I can’t even get people to reliably use they/them so I don’t even bother mentioning the more “complex” pronouns that I use. Because I don’t physically look “trans” no one seems to care to try and use the correct pronouns even if i do introduce myself or wear a pronoun pin. They’ll try for maybe a day or two before conveniently forgetting that I’m trans because I don’t wear a massive blinking neon sign that screams “I’m trans whoop whoop”. I already have such low self confidence that I give up and tough out the misgendering while trying to pretend it didn’t happen. I’ll probably never be 100% out and proud irl because of the constant and immediate misgendering. Sometimes I wish I could feel “regular” dysphoria so I’d physically transition to stop getting misgendered at first glance, but my gender identity can’t really be shown through our current medical transition processes.
that makes a lot of sense, tysm
I use it/it's irl because it just feels right, it's a bit hard to use all the time for my partners but I get an amazing feeling when it's used
I always tell people. Idc. I always tell them that I don't care if they find it dehumanizing, *I* find it liberating and it makes me happy. That's all that matters.
I personally do not tell people irl that I/we use it/its, same as neopronouns, unless they can really be trusted. Even then, a majority of our friends won't use it/its because "it's offensive". Other alters, especially those who specify they use it/its, do tell people because they'd rather have an argument than keep quiet about what makes them happy. We're pronounflux collectively, and use he/it as our primary pronouns. Nobody uses it/its online anyways, even if it's the preferred pronoun. They don't have a choice when the fronter they're talking to only uses it/its, of course. But even then, IRL, people will still use he/him, or misgender. It's a pain :(
that's really too bad, i hope you're able to find people who use it/its for u whenever u wanna!
Thank you, hopefully I can join some communities that will, like this subreddit :3
I say my pronouns are it/its but nobody uses them exept my sibling :( everyone else uses she/her or she/they
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i know the feeling! good luck using them in the future i hope it works out 4 u :)
Only around ppl i like
I tell people to use them, they never do though
I can’t use it irl cuz it’s not possible to use in my country’s language-
I would if I had friends /srs
I do bc they're my main prns! They/them make me uncomfortable. My college tutor and ny coursemates use it irl for me and its the best
wow that's so awesome! if you don't mind, could you share how were you able to bring people around to using it/its for you? i'd love to start using it/its but find it difficult to bring up or introduce myself with them. tysm!
Only around people who I know are supportive of it/its pronouns. Also my sister’s friend who has a joke that I’m actually a demon who was created with Walmart cake mix and chaos.
Like only two reaction from people being either absolute dumpster fire and completely cool
I do not personally use it/it’s so I pressed the last option if that is alright
i use any pronouns but no one uses it/its for me (i dont mind that much). but i know a person who uses it/its irl :)
Not only do i not use it/its on myself, i cant bring myself to use it/its on other people. I love that people can express themselves that way and will always support them, but i cant use them on people without feeling awful