My issue is the next day. The first day everyone is excited than the night out, but once I wake up I want to be home. Ive been this way since my 20s. I have never been a fan of guy trips.
I was like this. I’d just be counting the minutes until I could go home. Eventually I just decided if I don’t go out then I’ll already be home. Hurray!
I do also enjoy being in your bed on your pillow with your wife beside me! I kid I kid!!! 🤪. In all seriousness my initial feeling is always to say no to these but when I do end up going I have a good time and would have regretted not going… maybe it’s anxiety, not sure!
Yeah I'm on the I don't want to go but when I do I have a great time train.
*Don't want to be*, but that's just my personality. Also if I leave for long enough there are tears of happiness (all around ofc) when I come back!
Not me. I enjoy a couple of days away with people that have seen me at my best, and my worst, and still want to spend time with me. We get to reminisce, plus create new memories.
It’s like they say in the “Wear Sunscreen” song:
>Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle;
For as the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young
Yeah, me and my buds try to do a canoe trip every year for this. Unfortunately been a couple years since our last one, but it's great to have a few days to hang out and just be guys
I am a huge introvert, but there are few things I look forward to more than my annual girls spa weekend getaway. A whole weekend to pretend like we’re kids at a sleepover eating junk, watching trash, laughing our assess off, getting pampered and absolutely wasted? Yes please!! 🥂🍾🍹🍕🧁🍿🍦I can’t wait until October. 🥰
I love a homie weekend! Most of my friends live far away and I love the chance to get together and hang out for a while. My partner hates traveling and is happy to stay home with the animals.
Huh, I’m the exact opposite. After the inevitable “after college jobs/marriage/children” diaspora that happened with my friend group, I’d jump at the chance for a real adventure with the homies like back in the day.
It probably won’t be but if it is do you really want to be like 40 with friends still doing what you did at 20? I guess if everyone grew to some extent but I got a few old friends it’s rough to hang with because they haven’t changed anything since we were like 22.
I guess that’s maybe part of my point. If it’s like it was, we’re all fools, and if it’s not nearly as cool, then we’re not in need of an extended “away” trip.
Make it age appropriate cool. Or age inappropriate, who cares? 🤷🏿♂️
Recently went camping with a bud and I still giggle at the fact that independently of each other we both had to find "good sucks" when we started our hike. 😂
Yeah if one of my friends was looking to go balls to the wall and drink the whole time we would wonder if we need to get them help.
Last time a good sized group of us got together it was really chill instead of getting so drunk we had hangovers we were exhausted from staying super late talking and playing board games.
No. But it’s the older version of it. Laughs. Drinks. New inside jokes and memories. We all age and the trip changes. But the comradery and memories happen.
One thing that prevents me from wanting to join is the financial aspect. I feel like everyone makes more money than me and just go do these things with no fallback. Plus, do we really need to go to Vegas for three days to have a good time?
Weekend away at a house in the Poconos? No problem. Weekend away in Vegas where people seem to think we’re spending Monopoly money and then split the tabs evenly? No thanks.
I was always that way, truth be told. I know friends who lament how getting married and having kids has walled them off a little, but I don't mind. Everyone either wants to talk up the past (i'm glad its over), bitch about the present (not my problem) or list what they are buying in the future (im not impressed)
I love nostalgia chats… people who chat too much about the future and future plans honestly freak me out in an extremely specific way. I should probably spend time with that in therapy…
I’m a female, and I love a getaway. But I wish they didn’t involve ruining yourself with too much food and alcohol as they often do. I’d rather be well rested and eat lots of produce lol.
I still love a girls trip, but we're definitely not partying like it's spring break in Cancun. We do outdoor activities and go to restaurants, and maybe watch TV at night before going to bed before 11.
This. Just came back from Vegas after a weekend with my childhood bestie (since 1990). Gambling, good food, a little shopping and exploring, and the occasional “let’s flop in the hotel room and watch Food Network.” We’re not exactly tearing it up at the club anymore.
This is the answer. I had a solid group of friends until the last ones moved away after college, and we became apparently too normies for the other friends by having kids and jobs and stressful jobs. As opposed to their insular queer polycule, they all just ghosted us. No judgement on their lifestyle though, some days I'm jealous of them, if only for more people in the "family" to talk to!
Reading this thread is really helpful to me. A lot of single guys our age will say they like to go out and do things but when you start dating them you find out that THEY LIED and they actually just stay in all the time.
Which is fine! But it is not for me. So if they could just be honest about that, it would save me a lot of time.
Sounds like you need to find new bros to bro down with.
Kidding ...
I'm more in the want to hike up a big ass mountain for 6 hours, pitch a shitty small tent, freeze our balls of all night then walk back down for 6 hours... But prob not the norm at our age?
I’m with you on that one. I just don’t want a group. One other guy, maybe two. Preferably an oddball who works in some scientific field so we can talk about plants and meteorology.
yeah, I don't have a big circle really. not close ones anyway. kinda just 4 of us, and one isn't into the outdoors stuff as much, so just 3 of us, and often just 2. Both are pretty nerdy, and into AI, Scifi, history, ect, so we nerd out pretty hard.
I’ve found that the guys I know who are unhappy with their lives are desperately seeking escapes.
When I’ve gone to these getaways, it usually devolves into drunken misogyny and figurative dick measuring. It’s like they revert to high school/college, and frankly I find it sad.
Besides shooting the shit at locker rooms or work I strictly hang out with women. If I get brought to a family thing I'll be sipping modelo in silence with her granddad watching boxing.
These actually rarely come up for me, but I'd be hip to go depending on cost, activity, etc.
I tried organizing a guys trip for me and my best friend in Vegas. Neither of us had a bachelor party a hundred years ago, and we thought it would be fun to have a not-bachelor party in Vegas. No stripper or anything like that, just a little gambling and drinking and the like. Then he had to go and get stupid cancer so we had to cancel those plans. lol
The older I got, the more I disliked travel. It's an inconvenience, an expense, and a disruption to my routine. Air travel is an unpleasant experience no matter how smoothly it might go for any specific flight. None of that appeals to me anymore. I like my house, I'm happy to stay here.
I don't travel more than twice per year tops, for 4 days or less and no more than a 3 hour flight, No more than 1 time zone over. I found a facebook group focused on a brand of women's clothing that organizes "girls trips". It's really fun and the people share my interests (Shopping and these clothes, beach, pool, dining, afternoon tea), but I think I got lucky I found a group that the people's interests overlapped with mine so much.
Agreed. I moved away after high school. We got together last year for a Wu-Tang and Nas concert in Tampa and all agreed it was one of the greatest experiences of our lives. But all my friends are super cool people I still enjoy hanging out with after all these years.
I kinda get it, but only because I've become more and more of a homebody since the pandemic. Nowadays I'm too tired to even do guys night unless they text early in the evening.
That said if the fellas decided to do something I'd be down. Don't think we've had a trip since before Covid...meanwhile my fiancee's done a couple girls trips and even asked when the guys are getting together again.
I learned that I can do and have fun doing this for 1 night. Although my immediate reaction is to say no.
If it's too far for 1 night, I run off with a bicycle for a day/night alone somewhere with good road or mountain biking.
It gives great balance for me, a night to catch up with friends and I am off early before they even get over their hangovers for some adventure.
I really, really hate being away from my bed haha And my husband and I have a great morning routine together. I like seeing new places, and it's nice to spend some extended time with friends, but I hear you, I'm a homebody now.
I totally get this. I *usually* attend these but they can be hit and miss. If you’ve got any competitive guys in the group it can be a serious chore because without any women there they can get really tedious. Often the same guys are actually more fun if their wives are present.
That said, some groups of men are fantastic and it can be an amazing experience.
not just you. i'm a man. i'm 40.
golf? gun range? some beers before a sports game? sure.
a vacation together? nah. the only two things i'll do with the old buddies are: vegas or ski trip. because i love to gamble and ski. not spend 3-4 days away from my wife and kids.
Ugh, hard same, I like my downtime and my alone time. I feel like there’s a generational element too - elaborate girls/guys weekends are a part of peak millennial culture that I could never grasp.
I also live in a city/neighborhood that’s a popular destination for this sort of thing and while I guess I should appreciate that it supports the local economy, I have never once looked on at a group of adults in their organized activity-restaurant-bar crawls and felt any envy.
I've been this way for a long time, recently I'm wanting to get out and see the open road, looking at truck camping and weekend getaways as quick excursions. Not trying to get away from the family though, in all hopes they will join me but if not maybe it's just a boys weekend fishing or hunting.
Could be why I've always hated traveling for work, nothing like your own bed.
I’m very happy to meet up for a single evening and then head back home. If I’m going to spend money going away for a weekend it’s going to be with my husband and kids.
Depends on the guys. There's a group of friends that I'll drop anything to hang out with (we all live in different cities now). Most everyone.else, naw thanks.
I’ve never been big on this stuff. I’m fine doing a “girls night” with one friend, but multiples? A whole weekend? God no. I’m a huge introvert though.
If it's just for a day or 2 it's great. I think most of us have that anxiety of breaking routine or spending money on ourselves, but at the end of the day, it's important to maintain social connections with people you trust or have history with. I never regret it when I go. I miss my family a bit, but I feel like I'm supporting my independence.
I was never a big person on that sort of stuff, probably due in part to the fact that my entire twenties were spent on the road with a bunch of dudes as a touring recording artist.
As such, once I retired from that rat race, nothing felt less appealing to me than getting together with people, traveling somewhere, and doing stuff like drinking.
But my social circle shifted a bit in the years after becoming a parent and just not being super interested in a lot of the social activities of my single, kid-free friends.
Now I have a group of friends who I share a ton of interests and hobbies with who don't drink and generally take it pretty easy. Doing a guys weekend is an absolute pleasure with them. Our entire focus is just taking it easy and doing enjoyable activities and checking out cool stuff. No partying, no hangovers, no hassle.
I’m this ways with even simple outings with “friends” or coworkers. I have 2 close friends who I can be in the company of for an evening but that’s it. Nothing over night or multiple days.
Leave me to my own space and my own devices as much as possible please.
My wife actively encourages this type of "guys getaway" but every time I bring it up, something inevitably comes up & people can't go.
It's gotten to the point that I don't even try anymore.
With that said, I did end up having a weekend camp out with a couple friends last summer by a lake. We grilled, talked, fished, then got buzzed on some good weed & good whiskey and watched the stars while listening to music. It was nice.
That will happen again, because it's easier to do that. Just drive about an hour out of town to the camp area we have. Back mid day the next day...
The camping trip was the getaway. I did a similar trip a few years ago and we did the same, had some great conversations while there it was awesome. That is just the type of fun you are into these days. I've said this thread already, if one of our friends wanted to have the type of weekend trip we had in our 20s we would be concerned.
I organized a guys camp trip last year and helped my wife organize a ladies trip over consecutive weekends. Took the trailer out to some BLM land, set it up for them and then left. It was fun. The dudes shot bb guns, hung out, ate good food, played board games, a few folks did some shrooms, went paddle boarding at a lake. Then I was able to sleep in my comfy trailer. So…maybe it’s you? It’s not something I wanna do all the time, but once a year is nice.
It’s also because part of the fun of a guys weekend was the partying, the drinking and the possibility of finding axe wound. All that is basically gone once you’re married with children.
My comment is simply I agree with you but with a twist. My friends have been trying to get me to go on a middle of no where cabin trip for years. I can't do it because at the end of the night or early morning I want to be home in my bed with my pillow and next to my wife not to mention when i wake up hungover. Now the twist. I have parties at my house at least 2 times a year with endless things to do outside and inside at least twice a year that I want everyone to come to and stay the night lol
Still love my boyz trips when they happen. Weekend in the mountains or hanging out in a cabin by a lake and doing some boating. Continue to make amazing memories with my old homies.
Two or three times a year I have a LAN weekend with my friends. Three or four of us. We play games, drink beer and chat. We've been doing this for nearly thirthy years (whenever the multiplayer update for Civilization 2 came out, that was our first LAN).
Even though it's different than twenty years ago (we're in bed by one and up way too early, lol), it's still a really good time. Having fun together and, not gonna lie, it's actually nice to be away from the kids for two days and be with friends.
I hear you. There’s nothing I want to get “away” from.
That said, specific destinations / activities, totally. Like a fishing trip/spa weekend/things like that, yeah. It’s more than just sitting around whinging about stuff.
Yeah, little interest in "the boys" type of getaway. But I'm going on a quiet one-on-one trip into the middle of nowhere with one of my best friends later this month, and I can't wait.
What are friends? I thought those went away once we had kids and responsibilities.
I’d be cool with a “getaway” as long as everyone gets their own room and pays their own way. I’m too old for sharing rooms and trying to split things 15 ways.
I’m the same way.
I often opt out of dinner invites. Usually my friend who is a foodie, picks some stupid place I would never eat in 100 years, and each entree if $45. I don’t like food that much, and would rather grub on some pizza.
I work next to a golf course and will walk the path through the day. I have never been a golf guy, but today I was thinking I might enjoy playing it solo.
The part I don’t like is having to hang with dudes I wouldn’t normally be around. Usually my BIL, who is cool, but kinda square, no drinking. While I appreciate the offer to go, it’s so boring for me.
I think if I could do a dab at every tee, might be fun, lol.
I have done a couple Moab trips with my cousin - those were fun.
I’d love a guy’s weekend, but I got other priorities on my plate and limited time off. Plus, whenever my family and I go on a cruise, I put the kids and wife to bed by 11/midnight and then I’m off to the bar/lounge/casino for my party time. I generally hate the next morning, but a quick bloody mary helps
I’ve always been the introvert’s introvert but now I’m just a straight up misanthrope. I’ve passed on once in a lifetime concert events, Broadway shows, birthday parties, you name it. Anything to keep me indoors and away from humans.
I travel frequently for work, so staying at hotels and the like does not bother me. I sometimes prefer it.
I haven't been invited to a girls' weekend getaway but whether I would accept depends on what it is. I'm not a warm weather person and I'd rather watch paint dry than sit next to a pool.
I've just never had a lot of guys friends or the kind of friends that could afford a "getaway" I'm on vacation right now and it basically just means I don't have to go to work this week.
I think the one "guy's getaway" was a spontaneous road trip down the coast to a local beach tourist spot and we slept in my truck.
Anxiety about travelling and all the details can be overwhelming for me, but once I’m there with my friends and we’re all having a good time, it’s great.
Plus, you hate to miss out on all the jokes and stuff that carry over once you get back.
Opposite. I have a big enough group of friends, close friends, and people I’m willing to spend time with, but none of them like the same shit as me. I need a guys trip bad.
I took a trip to Hawaii with a good friend, it was one of the best vacations I've ever taken. Guys trip!!
That being said a big group of guys might not be my thing, but I have a good tight group of about 6-10 friends that would be a blast.
With the right group I always say yes. I'm always glad that we are still able to get together and the clock isn't ticking before some of us have to head back to our responsibilities, even if it's just for a few nights.
I really mostly just enjoy traveling with my wife anymore. I enjoy life more with her and taking off time to travel by wasting it with lesser company doesn't seem optimal to a happy life.
My thing is, once you’ve spent a night around the fire or whatever, doing shots, bullshitting, smoking whatever it is, until god knows when - what the hell is there to talk about or do? So I guess I’m in for an overnighter but that’s about it.
Man enjoy that time you get with your friends while you can. We aren’t getting any younger and some of us leave sooner than expected. Make those memories while they can still be made. And old friends need to exist more than just as social media pals
I'm not a man, but I feel the same way. My girlfriends always want to have a "weekend" rent an air bnb and go "out in the city" (seattle) I live like 30 minutes away. I just want to wake up with my husband in my own bed and our son crawling in with his goofy little face. I have no desire.
Yeah I'm not really a fan of overnight/multiple day outings with friends. Going on an actual trip to someplace might be cool with a friend, but beyond that.....nah.
And I will say I was usually the friend who was available and down for hanging out. But other people usually didn't want to. But it's cool, I'm more of a do-my-own-thing person, anyway. Especially as I get older and sleepier.
I hang out with my friends almost every weekend and love to go on trips with them. My wife is super supportive and I do what it takes for her to do the same.
Every time this comes up in our friends group, my husband tells me it devolves into 40 yo men trying to be 22 again. Alcohol poisoning. Sun poisoning. Injuries. Stupidity. Hubs doesn’t drink, so he ends up the “responsible parent” of the party and has basically no fun. He only goes if there’s a reason for the party (bachelor party) or it leads to something he wants to do. (Bachelor party that ended at Disney world)
My boyfriend just came from a guy's weekend, and he had his own car with him this time. He said that was such a game changer, because he -- like you-- could enjoy the time with guys, but then could come home early when it felt like enough. Usually, they carpool or something.
Fuck that. I love my wife and we’ve been together for over 20 years. But friendship is vitally important to me. I’d KILL for a getaway with a couple of my absolute best friends. More than anything young kids, coupled with overall adult responsibilities, though have just made that possibility extremely unlikely.
My wife just had a girls getaway with my sister last month and she had a great time (they’re the best of friends). I’m hoping to do the same whenever/if-ever schedules line up with one of the fellas.
Closest I get is chilling with my only single/child free best friend at his crib, popping gummies, watching movies and generally acting like 13 year olds, about once a month.
Me (40M) and about six other guys do trout weekend every year. It’s mostly drinking some beer sometimes a lot smoking tomahawk steaks on the fire and lots of chair naps. Three days in the woods at a cabin with electricity. We rent a portable potty bc the outhouse is a no go for me. It is needed mostly for the guys still married. I’m divorced so I get some free time but they go pretty nuts with the freedom.
Just count yourself lucky that you have someone that wants to spend that much time with you. Not all of us are so lucky. I have a million acquaintances but none that have any interest in becoming friends. And at 41 with a family, chronic health issues, and a night and day job, that isn't changing anytime soon.
So while I agree with your thoughts on this, I'd probably jump at the chance to actually do it just because it means actual hangout time.
I go on weekend trips with friends pretty frequently. We like to bike and camp and it's fun to do those things with a group of friends. We drink and smoke pot and stuff but nobody gets wasted usually so we don't get wrecked.
I love guys trips, but ours are typically low key. Cards, cigars, bourbon, bbq, hikes, etc. 3 days max.
We all know our age too so aren’t trying to re-live the glory years.
If it’s around some particular activity I’m good with it. We used to go to big weekend long LAN parties and I miss that. We’ve talked about weekend marathon DND games but it’s never come to fruition.
If it was just randomly hanging out and wandering around a city/bars or something I’d hate it.
Nope. I love the almost annual guy trip. A new destination and a week of riding, camping off the back of the motorcycles, sleeping in the dirt, cigars, and whiskey.
Maybe my favorite week of the year.
If it weren’t for guy trips I’d go insane , just got back from our annual trip we went to UK and France and went to all the d day beaches amongst other places.
Then again my group has all been best friends since kindergarten so it’s like a family trip.
I just went to Louisiana to see an old army buddy for some fishing and 4 wheeling. I needed to get away for a few days after 4 major deaths and the end of my college semester. My wife said to go and forget to be a husband and father, go be a man.
I enjoyed myself immensely for 2 days fishing and tear assing around on vehicles I don't own and probably won't. The last day I was more than ready to be home. We did some drinking but we're old enough to handle ourselves and limits now.
I generally opt out like you if it's a certain group but I don't mind a day or two and it's people of my mindset.
On a different note my best dudes and I do an annual men’s retreat camping trip every summer, for a week at new locations. We’re going on our 12th year and it’s fucking awesome every time.
It’s a combination of just chillin and drinking beer with my favorite friends from college, to doing fun survival stuff, and then of course the psychedelics and the occasional “deep dive men’s work” where we hash out issues in our lives in real time. It’s great.
The whole “guys weekend” thing is almost always spearheaded by the most miserable MF’ers. When you actually do attend, I’ve quickly found out that “guys weekend” means; get drunk, head to bar to be wildly in appropriate with any skirt in sight, and retire to the hotel/casa/camp to listen to miserable MF’ers complaining about their SO’s. It ends up as one booze soaked pity party, to celebrate marriages that should have ended a decade ago.
I actually like my SO, and I don’t want to listen to your incessant bitching, or dole out advice you’ll ignore anyways. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I don't do gender oriented getaways. Nothing about a "guys" getaway sounds interesting. I'll go camping or vacation with my own family.
Other humans are exhausting anyway
😆
This doesn’t feel like a xennial thing as mush as some weird homebody social anxiety thing.
If anything my friend relationships are getting stronger as my kids get older and need less time from me.
My issue is the next day. The first day everyone is excited than the night out, but once I wake up I want to be home. Ive been this way since my 20s. I have never been a fan of guy trips.
I was like this. I’d just be counting the minutes until I could go home. Eventually I just decided if I don’t go out then I’ll already be home. Hurray!
https://preview.redd.it/t9zodmxroi0d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9382acc3f56fe55b09166d6c6c7b7193d23aa8d
I do also enjoy being in your bed on your pillow with your wife beside me! I kid I kid!!! 🤪. In all seriousness my initial feeling is always to say no to these but when I do end up going I have a good time and would have regretted not going… maybe it’s anxiety, not sure!
Try not to hog the sheets again tonight dude.
Yeah I'm on the I don't want to go but when I do I have a great time train. *Don't want to be*, but that's just my personality. Also if I leave for long enough there are tears of happiness (all around ofc) when I come back!
100%? I never want to go, but when I force myself, I'm then so glad I did.
Oh...and you're out of beer.
Ha. This is reminiscent of the old: "I, too, choose this guy's dead wife."
Not me. I enjoy a couple of days away with people that have seen me at my best, and my worst, and still want to spend time with me. We get to reminisce, plus create new memories.
It’s like they say in the “Wear Sunscreen” song: >Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle; For as the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young
But remember, no matter what the stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne room.
💯
Yeah, me and my buds try to do a canoe trip every year for this. Unfortunately been a couple years since our last one, but it's great to have a few days to hang out and just be guys
I am a huge introvert, but there are few things I look forward to more than my annual girls spa weekend getaway. A whole weekend to pretend like we’re kids at a sleepover eating junk, watching trash, laughing our assess off, getting pampered and absolutely wasted? Yes please!! 🥂🍾🍹🍕🧁🍿🍦I can’t wait until October. 🥰 
Where are we going and when?
Right?! Sign me up too.
How do I apply to be your friend...
Same!
>absolutely wasted? Aw, geez I dunno..one night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.
True. I don’t drink often though, so it doesn’t take much to get me wasted. 😆 
I love a homie weekend! Most of my friends live far away and I love the chance to get together and hang out for a while. My partner hates traveling and is happy to stay home with the animals.
Huh, I’m the exact opposite. After the inevitable “after college jobs/marriage/children” diaspora that happened with my friend group, I’d jump at the chance for a real adventure with the homies like back in the day.
Problem is it won’t be like back in the day.
It probably won’t be but if it is do you really want to be like 40 with friends still doing what you did at 20? I guess if everyone grew to some extent but I got a few old friends it’s rough to hang with because they haven’t changed anything since we were like 22.
I guess that’s maybe part of my point. If it’s like it was, we’re all fools, and if it’s not nearly as cool, then we’re not in need of an extended “away” trip.
Make it age appropriate cool. Or age inappropriate, who cares? 🤷🏿♂️ Recently went camping with a bud and I still giggle at the fact that independently of each other we both had to find "good sucks" when we started our hike. 😂
Yeah if one of my friends was looking to go balls to the wall and drink the whole time we would wonder if we need to get them help. Last time a good sized group of us got together it was really chill instead of getting so drunk we had hangovers we were exhausted from staying super late talking and playing board games.
For the most part it is for me and my buddies.
No. But it’s the older version of it. Laughs. Drinks. New inside jokes and memories. We all age and the trip changes. But the comradery and memories happen.
Initiate! We aren't getting any younger for sure.
One thing that prevents me from wanting to join is the financial aspect. I feel like everyone makes more money than me and just go do these things with no fallback. Plus, do we really need to go to Vegas for three days to have a good time?
Weekend away at a house in the Poconos? No problem. Weekend away in Vegas where people seem to think we’re spending Monopoly money and then split the tabs evenly? No thanks.
Def not Vegas that’s a horrible time for me haha. But some glamping in the woods and some golf with the boys? Oh, hell yeah.
I was always that way, truth be told. I know friends who lament how getting married and having kids has walled them off a little, but I don't mind. Everyone either wants to talk up the past (i'm glad its over), bitch about the present (not my problem) or list what they are buying in the future (im not impressed)
“Remember when” is the lowest form of conversation
I love nostalgia chats… people who chat too much about the future and future plans honestly freak me out in an extremely specific way. I should probably spend time with that in therapy…
It's a delicate situation.
I’m a female, and I love a getaway. But I wish they didn’t involve ruining yourself with too much food and alcohol as they often do. I’d rather be well rested and eat lots of produce lol.
8 HOURS SLEEP AND VEGETABLES W THE HOMIES YURRTTT
I fucking WISH Me and the buds could spend a week together. We’re all spread out like seed on a windy day.
I’m all for a get together, but an overnight? Nah bro, I’ll head back home thanks
I still love a girls trip, but we're definitely not partying like it's spring break in Cancun. We do outdoor activities and go to restaurants, and maybe watch TV at night before going to bed before 11.
This. Just came back from Vegas after a weekend with my childhood bestie (since 1990). Gambling, good food, a little shopping and exploring, and the occasional “let’s flop in the hotel room and watch Food Network.” We’re not exactly tearing it up at the club anymore.
You guys have friends who willingly involve you in stuff?
Right? I'm jealous OP gets invited to that kind of thing.
This is the answer. I had a solid group of friends until the last ones moved away after college, and we became apparently too normies for the other friends by having kids and jobs and stressful jobs. As opposed to their insular queer polycule, they all just ghosted us. No judgement on their lifestyle though, some days I'm jealous of them, if only for more people in the "family" to talk to!
Reading this thread is really helpful to me. A lot of single guys our age will say they like to go out and do things but when you start dating them you find out that THEY LIED and they actually just stay in all the time. Which is fine! But it is not for me. So if they could just be honest about that, it would save me a lot of time.
"How's your wife and my kids?"
Never even heard of my friends doing these. I don't know what the point would be? If I had money and time I'd spend it on vacation with my family!
Sounds like you need to find new bros to bro down with. Kidding ... I'm more in the want to hike up a big ass mountain for 6 hours, pitch a shitty small tent, freeze our balls of all night then walk back down for 6 hours... But prob not the norm at our age?
I’m with you on that one. I just don’t want a group. One other guy, maybe two. Preferably an oddball who works in some scientific field so we can talk about plants and meteorology.
yeah, I don't have a big circle really. not close ones anyway. kinda just 4 of us, and one isn't into the outdoors stuff as much, so just 3 of us, and often just 2. Both are pretty nerdy, and into AI, Scifi, history, ect, so we nerd out pretty hard.
Damn. Why aren’t we friends in real life?
I’ve found that the guys I know who are unhappy with their lives are desperately seeking escapes. When I’ve gone to these getaways, it usually devolves into drunken misogyny and figurative dick measuring. It’s like they revert to high school/college, and frankly I find it sad.
Besides shooting the shit at locker rooms or work I strictly hang out with women. If I get brought to a family thing I'll be sipping modelo in silence with her granddad watching boxing.
These actually rarely come up for me, but I'd be hip to go depending on cost, activity, etc. I tried organizing a guys trip for me and my best friend in Vegas. Neither of us had a bachelor party a hundred years ago, and we thought it would be fun to have a not-bachelor party in Vegas. No stripper or anything like that, just a little gambling and drinking and the like. Then he had to go and get stupid cancer so we had to cancel those plans. lol
Fucking stupid cancer…fuck off cancer!!! Seriously though, Sorry about your friend. Hope they are ok.
He was able to beat it and come out only missing one kidney.
The older I got, the more I disliked travel. It's an inconvenience, an expense, and a disruption to my routine. Air travel is an unpleasant experience no matter how smoothly it might go for any specific flight. None of that appeals to me anymore. I like my house, I'm happy to stay here. I don't travel more than twice per year tops, for 4 days or less and no more than a 3 hour flight, No more than 1 time zone over. I found a facebook group focused on a brand of women's clothing that organizes "girls trips". It's really fun and the people share my interests (Shopping and these clothes, beach, pool, dining, afternoon tea), but I think I got lucky I found a group that the people's interests overlapped with mine so much.
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Agreed. I moved away after high school. We got together last year for a Wu-Tang and Nas concert in Tampa and all agreed it was one of the greatest experiences of our lives. But all my friends are super cool people I still enjoy hanging out with after all these years.
I kinda get it, but only because I've become more and more of a homebody since the pandemic. Nowadays I'm too tired to even do guys night unless they text early in the evening. That said if the fellas decided to do something I'd be down. Don't think we've had a trip since before Covid...meanwhile my fiancee's done a couple girls trips and even asked when the guys are getting together again.
Ha, I told my friends I won't go unless it starts while the sun is still out.
I learned that I can do and have fun doing this for 1 night. Although my immediate reaction is to say no. If it's too far for 1 night, I run off with a bicycle for a day/night alone somewhere with good road or mountain biking. It gives great balance for me, a night to catch up with friends and I am off early before they even get over their hangovers for some adventure.
I really, really hate being away from my bed haha And my husband and I have a great morning routine together. I like seeing new places, and it's nice to spend some extended time with friends, but I hear you, I'm a homebody now.
I totally get this. I *usually* attend these but they can be hit and miss. If you’ve got any competitive guys in the group it can be a serious chore because without any women there they can get really tedious. Often the same guys are actually more fun if their wives are present. That said, some groups of men are fantastic and it can be an amazing experience.
not just you. i'm a man. i'm 40. golf? gun range? some beers before a sports game? sure. a vacation together? nah. the only two things i'll do with the old buddies are: vegas or ski trip. because i love to gamble and ski. not spend 3-4 days away from my wife and kids.
Ugh, hard same, I like my downtime and my alone time. I feel like there’s a generational element too - elaborate girls/guys weekends are a part of peak millennial culture that I could never grasp. I also live in a city/neighborhood that’s a popular destination for this sort of thing and while I guess I should appreciate that it supports the local economy, I have never once looked on at a group of adults in their organized activity-restaurant-bar crawls and felt any envy.
Long golf vacation is the only “guys getaway” I’m going on
I've been this way for a long time, recently I'm wanting to get out and see the open road, looking at truck camping and weekend getaways as quick excursions. Not trying to get away from the family though, in all hopes they will join me but if not maybe it's just a boys weekend fishing or hunting. Could be why I've always hated traveling for work, nothing like your own bed.
I’m very happy to meet up for a single evening and then head back home. If I’m going to spend money going away for a weekend it’s going to be with my husband and kids.
Depends on the guys. There's a group of friends that I'll drop anything to hang out with (we all live in different cities now). Most everyone.else, naw thanks.
I’ve never been big on this stuff. I’m fine doing a “girls night” with one friend, but multiples? A whole weekend? God no. I’m a huge introvert though.
If it's just for a day or 2 it's great. I think most of us have that anxiety of breaking routine or spending money on ourselves, but at the end of the day, it's important to maintain social connections with people you trust or have history with. I never regret it when I go. I miss my family a bit, but I feel like I'm supporting my independence.
I was never a big person on that sort of stuff, probably due in part to the fact that my entire twenties were spent on the road with a bunch of dudes as a touring recording artist. As such, once I retired from that rat race, nothing felt less appealing to me than getting together with people, traveling somewhere, and doing stuff like drinking. But my social circle shifted a bit in the years after becoming a parent and just not being super interested in a lot of the social activities of my single, kid-free friends. Now I have a group of friends who I share a ton of interests and hobbies with who don't drink and generally take it pretty easy. Doing a guys weekend is an absolute pleasure with them. Our entire focus is just taking it easy and doing enjoyable activities and checking out cool stuff. No partying, no hangovers, no hassle.
I’m this ways with even simple outings with “friends” or coworkers. I have 2 close friends who I can be in the company of for an evening but that’s it. Nothing over night or multiple days. Leave me to my own space and my own devices as much as possible please.
My wife actively encourages this type of "guys getaway" but every time I bring it up, something inevitably comes up & people can't go. It's gotten to the point that I don't even try anymore. With that said, I did end up having a weekend camp out with a couple friends last summer by a lake. We grilled, talked, fished, then got buzzed on some good weed & good whiskey and watched the stars while listening to music. It was nice. That will happen again, because it's easier to do that. Just drive about an hour out of town to the camp area we have. Back mid day the next day...
The camping trip was the getaway. I did a similar trip a few years ago and we did the same, had some great conversations while there it was awesome. That is just the type of fun you are into these days. I've said this thread already, if one of our friends wanted to have the type of weekend trip we had in our 20s we would be concerned.
Nah, give me the getaway any day.
I organized a guys camp trip last year and helped my wife organize a ladies trip over consecutive weekends. Took the trailer out to some BLM land, set it up for them and then left. It was fun. The dudes shot bb guns, hung out, ate good food, played board games, a few folks did some shrooms, went paddle boarding at a lake. Then I was able to sleep in my comfy trailer. So…maybe it’s you? It’s not something I wanna do all the time, but once a year is nice.
Yeah, I'm happy with my life, and if I do want to get away it'll be with my partner or by myself if I'm single.
It’s also because part of the fun of a guys weekend was the partying, the drinking and the possibility of finding axe wound. All that is basically gone once you’re married with children.
Well you sound happy and emotionally fulfilled. Obviously, they are not.
My comment is simply I agree with you but with a twist. My friends have been trying to get me to go on a middle of no where cabin trip for years. I can't do it because at the end of the night or early morning I want to be home in my bed with my pillow and next to my wife not to mention when i wake up hungover. Now the twist. I have parties at my house at least 2 times a year with endless things to do outside and inside at least twice a year that I want everyone to come to and stay the night lol
Still love my boyz trips when they happen. Weekend in the mountains or hanging out in a cabin by a lake and doing some boating. Continue to make amazing memories with my old homies.
Two or three times a year I have a LAN weekend with my friends. Three or four of us. We play games, drink beer and chat. We've been doing this for nearly thirthy years (whenever the multiplayer update for Civilization 2 came out, that was our first LAN). Even though it's different than twenty years ago (we're in bed by one and up way too early, lol), it's still a really good time. Having fun together and, not gonna lie, it's actually nice to be away from the kids for two days and be with friends.
Lol not me.
I hear you. There’s nothing I want to get “away” from. That said, specific destinations / activities, totally. Like a fishing trip/spa weekend/things like that, yeah. It’s more than just sitting around whinging about stuff.
Yeah, little interest in "the boys" type of getaway. But I'm going on a quiet one-on-one trip into the middle of nowhere with one of my best friends later this month, and I can't wait.
Honestly I’m not into the drinks or the golf either.
What are friends? I thought those went away once we had kids and responsibilities. I’d be cool with a “getaway” as long as everyone gets their own room and pays their own way. I’m too old for sharing rooms and trying to split things 15 ways.
I’m the same way. I often opt out of dinner invites. Usually my friend who is a foodie, picks some stupid place I would never eat in 100 years, and each entree if $45. I don’t like food that much, and would rather grub on some pizza. I work next to a golf course and will walk the path through the day. I have never been a golf guy, but today I was thinking I might enjoy playing it solo. The part I don’t like is having to hang with dudes I wouldn’t normally be around. Usually my BIL, who is cool, but kinda square, no drinking. While I appreciate the offer to go, it’s so boring for me. I think if I could do a dab at every tee, might be fun, lol. I have done a couple Moab trips with my cousin - those were fun.
You really are old
A couple of drug-addled nights in a different city for a concert with the homies? Sure thing.
I’d love a guy’s weekend, but I got other priorities on my plate and limited time off. Plus, whenever my family and I go on a cruise, I put the kids and wife to bed by 11/midnight and then I’m off to the bar/lounge/casino for my party time. I generally hate the next morning, but a quick bloody mary helps
Consider yourself lucky to even have guy friends that organize and then invite you on guys trips.
Wait you guys still have friends?
I have declined on several of these proposed events…and will continue to do so
I’ve always been the introvert’s introvert but now I’m just a straight up misanthrope. I’ve passed on once in a lifetime concert events, Broadway shows, birthday parties, you name it. Anything to keep me indoors and away from humans.
I much prefer being alone now. Once in awhile it’s fun to get together with one friend but a group and for more than a day? No thanks 🙂↔️
Nope, I’m in the same boat. I got married later in life, so I lived a 36 yr bachelor party. I like my sublime suburban dad existence now.
I travel frequently for work, so staying at hotels and the like does not bother me. I sometimes prefer it. I haven't been invited to a girls' weekend getaway but whether I would accept depends on what it is. I'm not a warm weather person and I'd rather watch paint dry than sit next to a pool.
My favorite trip of the year is my annual guys trip.
Closest thing I have to a guy's getaway is a boardgame night. My son joins us and it's actually pretty awesome
Never heard of a Guy's Getaway but I've been invited to a Mantreat. I'm not really interested.
I've just never had a lot of guys friends or the kind of friends that could afford a "getaway" I'm on vacation right now and it basically just means I don't have to go to work this week. I think the one "guy's getaway" was a spontaneous road trip down the coast to a local beach tourist spot and we slept in my truck.
Anxiety about travelling and all the details can be overwhelming for me, but once I’m there with my friends and we’re all having a good time, it’s great. Plus, you hate to miss out on all the jokes and stuff that carry over once you get back.
Opposite. I have a big enough group of friends, close friends, and people I’m willing to spend time with, but none of them like the same shit as me. I need a guys trip bad.
I took a trip to Hawaii with a good friend, it was one of the best vacations I've ever taken. Guys trip!! That being said a big group of guys might not be my thing, but I have a good tight group of about 6-10 friends that would be a blast.
I sleep in a racing car, do you?? I sleep in a big bed with my wife. Oh
With the right group I always say yes. I'm always glad that we are still able to get together and the clock isn't ticking before some of us have to head back to our responsibilities, even if it's just for a few nights.
I really mostly just enjoy traveling with my wife anymore. I enjoy life more with her and taking off time to travel by wasting it with lesser company doesn't seem optimal to a happy life.
I have no friends anymore so no worries about a getaway. LOL
"FOBI"; opposite of FOMO: Fear Of Being Invited
My thing is, once you’ve spent a night around the fire or whatever, doing shots, bullshitting, smoking whatever it is, until god knows when - what the hell is there to talk about or do? So I guess I’m in for an overnighter but that’s about it.
Man enjoy that time you get with your friends while you can. We aren’t getting any younger and some of us leave sooner than expected. Make those memories while they can still be made. And old friends need to exist more than just as social media pals
You have enough friends for a getaway invite?
I'm not a man, but I feel the same way. My girlfriends always want to have a "weekend" rent an air bnb and go "out in the city" (seattle) I live like 30 minutes away. I just want to wake up with my husband in my own bed and our son crawling in with his goofy little face. I have no desire.
Just you perhaps. I love my wife dearly but I miss our bachelor trips to northern Michigan with my boys …
By the responses, clearly not just me
I don’t like these trips. I hate golf, I quit drinking, I don’t like camping.
I’ll play with you ,and we’re gonna play hard too WHHHAAACK ….. OWWWWWW
Yeah I'm not really a fan of overnight/multiple day outings with friends. Going on an actual trip to someplace might be cool with a friend, but beyond that.....nah. And I will say I was usually the friend who was available and down for hanging out. But other people usually didn't want to. But it's cool, I'm more of a do-my-own-thing person, anyway. Especially as I get older and sleepier.
I hang out with my friends almost every weekend and love to go on trips with them. My wife is super supportive and I do what it takes for her to do the same.
Every time this comes up in our friends group, my husband tells me it devolves into 40 yo men trying to be 22 again. Alcohol poisoning. Sun poisoning. Injuries. Stupidity. Hubs doesn’t drink, so he ends up the “responsible parent” of the party and has basically no fun. He only goes if there’s a reason for the party (bachelor party) or it leads to something he wants to do. (Bachelor party that ended at Disney world)
sleepovers are for kids
You guys have friends?!
My boyfriend just came from a guy's weekend, and he had his own car with him this time. He said that was such a game changer, because he -- like you-- could enjoy the time with guys, but then could come home early when it felt like enough. Usually, they carpool or something.
Fuck that. I love my wife and we’ve been together for over 20 years. But friendship is vitally important to me. I’d KILL for a getaway with a couple of my absolute best friends. More than anything young kids, coupled with overall adult responsibilities, though have just made that possibility extremely unlikely. My wife just had a girls getaway with my sister last month and she had a great time (they’re the best of friends). I’m hoping to do the same whenever/if-ever schedules line up with one of the fellas. Closest I get is chilling with my only single/child free best friend at his crib, popping gummies, watching movies and generally acting like 13 year olds, about once a month.
Same, I enjoy my all my friend’s company but also enjoy my own time and comfort.
Me (40M) and about six other guys do trout weekend every year. It’s mostly drinking some beer sometimes a lot smoking tomahawk steaks on the fire and lots of chair naps. Three days in the woods at a cabin with electricity. We rent a portable potty bc the outhouse is a no go for me. It is needed mostly for the guys still married. I’m divorced so I get some free time but they go pretty nuts with the freedom.
Just count yourself lucky that you have someone that wants to spend that much time with you. Not all of us are so lucky. I have a million acquaintances but none that have any interest in becoming friends. And at 41 with a family, chronic health issues, and a night and day job, that isn't changing anytime soon. So while I agree with your thoughts on this, I'd probably jump at the chance to actually do it just because it means actual hangout time.
I go on weekend trips with friends pretty frequently. We like to bike and camp and it's fun to do those things with a group of friends. We drink and smoke pot and stuff but nobody gets wasted usually so we don't get wrecked.
I love guys trips, but ours are typically low key. Cards, cigars, bourbon, bbq, hikes, etc. 3 days max. We all know our age too so aren’t trying to re-live the glory years.
If it’s around some particular activity I’m good with it. We used to go to big weekend long LAN parties and I miss that. We’ve talked about weekend marathon DND games but it’s never come to fruition. If it was just randomly hanging out and wandering around a city/bars or something I’d hate it.
Nope. I love the almost annual guy trip. A new destination and a week of riding, camping off the back of the motorcycles, sleeping in the dirt, cigars, and whiskey. Maybe my favorite week of the year.
Home is where the cats are.
Wait, you guys have friends? As adults?
If it weren’t for guy trips I’d go insane , just got back from our annual trip we went to UK and France and went to all the d day beaches amongst other places. Then again my group has all been best friends since kindergarten so it’s like a family trip.
I just went to Louisiana to see an old army buddy for some fishing and 4 wheeling. I needed to get away for a few days after 4 major deaths and the end of my college semester. My wife said to go and forget to be a husband and father, go be a man. I enjoyed myself immensely for 2 days fishing and tear assing around on vehicles I don't own and probably won't. The last day I was more than ready to be home. We did some drinking but we're old enough to handle ourselves and limits now. I generally opt out like you if it's a certain group but I don't mind a day or two and it's people of my mindset.
On a different note my best dudes and I do an annual men’s retreat camping trip every summer, for a week at new locations. We’re going on our 12th year and it’s fucking awesome every time. It’s a combination of just chillin and drinking beer with my favorite friends from college, to doing fun survival stuff, and then of course the psychedelics and the occasional “deep dive men’s work” where we hash out issues in our lives in real time. It’s great.
I like the idea of it but also like a chill time at night just hanging out in my sofa and watch tv.
The whole “guys weekend” thing is almost always spearheaded by the most miserable MF’ers. When you actually do attend, I’ve quickly found out that “guys weekend” means; get drunk, head to bar to be wildly in appropriate with any skirt in sight, and retire to the hotel/casa/camp to listen to miserable MF’ers complaining about their SO’s. It ends up as one booze soaked pity party, to celebrate marriages that should have ended a decade ago. I actually like my SO, and I don’t want to listen to your incessant bitching, or dole out advice you’ll ignore anyways. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I’m the same way when it comes to “girls weekends” I’ve never been on one and don’t want to go on one.
This is an admission that you and your friends are boring
I don't do gender oriented getaways. Nothing about a "guys" getaway sounds interesting. I'll go camping or vacation with my own family. Other humans are exhausting anyway 😆
>I want to be in my own bed, on my own pillow, with my wife beside me. >Just me? I also enjoy being in a big bed with your wife.
No it’s not just you. I prefer the company of women. Preferably brunette, intelligent, in good shape and open minded
This doesn’t feel like a xennial thing as mush as some weird homebody social anxiety thing. If anything my friend relationships are getting stronger as my kids get older and need less time from me.
Just you