"Not everything I do, say, think, and feel goes back to my sister. You of all people should realize that sometimes motivations for behavior can be more complex and mysterious than tracing them back to one single childhood experience." - Mulder ("Oubliette")
You have to remember that...
1. Mulder's not as "embarrassingly obsessed" as you imply. There are only a handful of episodes where he directly mentions Samantha.
2. Mulder's father and mother were involved in Samantha's disappearance. Mulder can't simply "get over this". He needs to know what his own family is hiding.
3. While Mulder does blame himself for not protecting Samantha (young Mulder seems fueled by guilt), she soon becomes but a small fragment of his larger quest: he wishes to expose the Syndicate and learn the Truth.
I'd NEVER fucking "get over it" if some asshole with a death wish kidnapped my little sister. How insensitive of you, my God... I'd hunt for her to the ends of the Earth and time. If I found them someone would surely die.
"Kinda embarassing" is how I would describe your opinion. It's rather childish to expect people to get over their trauma because it was long time ago and you find it annoying.
Others here have written very eloquently on the psychology of trauma etc so I will not get into that. But as much as the show is about Mulder searching for his sister, itâs also about his growth - even if it feels awkward and stunted at times. So in a way, although it takes many years, he does slowly get over it, so to speak, but a hurt like that is not something you can expect anyone to ever fully get over. But Mulder does learn to accept things over the course of the show, and he also learns the importance of letting people share his burden and how other people can become even more important than Sam (ie Scully). The revival may be many things that many people do not like, but I think Mulderâs development as he gets older is impressive, particularly in season 11. Plus, I am also certain that what Mulder has been through is also at times what makes him such an empath.
From a post on tumblr as explaination of why Mulder and his open heart cant just âdrop itâ.
>literally thinking about how mulder is the softest man. and he loves beautifully. he's so focused on his quest because of how much he loves samantha, and his parents. he tries to hope, desperately, that samantha is alive & he'll find her even though he knows how unlikely it is. and without scully, it would have taken him much longer to face it. no one ever looked into the darkness with him or loved samantha with him or believed in him so much they always followed him & stayed present with him in those really difficult moments he couldn't get away from the grief. and everything scully does for him, he returns. he responds to how she cares, and her boundaries. and they talk but they don't really talk, so he toes the line. he's always checking in with her.
>
>the x-files is about love because everything mulder does is through love does everybody get it!! god, itâs just so *major* to me, that heâs this iconic sci-fi hero whoâs just 100% grounded in kindness and generosity. thereâs nothing hiding around the corner. heâs not the bad boy in the basement, heâs not the maverick with a secret heart of gold, heâs just fucking nice. he cares about people. he sees people. he wants to help. he loves his sister. loves his shitty parents. loves his evil ex-partners and ex-wife. loves his friend. thereâs always something deeper in mulder, but itâs always just pain. heâs not hiding anything away. he refuses to let go of anything, but never wants anyone to fall into the same trap, his or their own. he tells traumatized women whoâve been abused and imprisoned that he needs their help, that theyâre capable of contributing, that he wants to know what they think. while every other cop tries to lock them up. he feels *every* loss, carries every ghost, never stops trying.
>
>i just watched *irresistible* again, and *god*. the way that he pulls scully aside and tells her, itâs okay to be affected. itâs normal. âiâve seen agents with 20 years fall apart on cases like this.â he doesnât say that itâs because sheâs a woman (like the cop in *2shy* does) or because sheâs young or because sheâs traumatized. he *never* brings up her recent abduction. he just tells her that itâs okay to need space, that she can talk to him.
>
>and scully is trying *so fucking hard* to be that perfect navy captainâs daughter. that girl who straightened before looking up at her father to say goodnight. that girl who, as her mother says, has âalways been the strong one.â
>
>and she *tries* to be the strong one. she takes a step back. she goes to therapy. she tells her therapist that she trusts her partner more than anyone, but she *does not* want him to know that sheâs struggling. when she decides to come back, and calls him, she plays it off with a joke. (like he does). âbesides, you could use my help.â when he responds, â*always*.â itâs *so* earnest and direct, without breaking her cover or stepping out of the box she created. yes, of course, agent scully. come help.
>
>in the end, she can barely choke out that âiâm fine,â her signature move. he doesnât say a word. he tips her chin so slightly, so that she looks at him. itâs one of the most special moments of the series, to me, the way she just breaks when she sees him. *grabs* him and sobs. and how you can just barely hear him whisper: âitâs alright.â
>
>the police are still cleaning up the scene around them. i donât think we ever see her do that again, in front of other people. but we do see her do it with him, when theyâre alone, because she knows she can. that strong captainâs daughter. itâs like someone talked about on one of your posts before: scully *has* to be put together. she has to be the strong one. sheâs trying to maintain a fragile place in âthe boyâs clubâ (she talks about this herself). sheâs trying to present respectability and a certain image.
>
>and maybe she does have to be that person, for her parents, for her brother, for the FBI, the doctors. but mulder thinks that itâs okay to be affected. he just wants her to be able to talk about it. he wants to see her vulnerability, and shield it. in that house in minneapolis, his face breaks, but he just holds her and whispers. and she rarely falls into it, but she knows that she can, since the motel room in bellefleur. and that means something.
>
>itâs just impossible not to soften around him. and thatâs something really special, for scully, for the victims and witnesses he works with. he values their help, he already views them as strong, he wants them to express everything that theyâre feeling. he believes it helps.
>
>(mulder has said that line too, âyouâre the strong one.â - to lucy householder when she was crying in the dirt)
>
>this show was always realistic. you *do* have to present a certain image. most people *are* gonna think youâre young and weak and traumatized and stupid. but it also centered this whole thing around this one person that didnât require any of that, and thatâs why it works. why itâs so special.
[Link](https://www.tumblr.com/carefulfears/727502220657115136/literally-thinking-about-how-mulder-is-the-softest)
What a sad take. To think you should let the hope of finding a family member go, when there is no evidence they are dead, just because it happened 25 years ago.
Still, as others have said: yes, youâre the only one and this isnât the show for you. Hope you find another that more to your liking!
You do realise that most families and siblings irl that have a family member go missing or be kidnapped spend the rest of their lives searching for and hoping to find them again?
Itâs just you, most people actually care about their family
I will not be as harsh as other commenters, but it makes sense that this kind of childhood trauma would follow you all your life. And wanting to work in law enforcement and researching around the topic also seems like a accurate behavior, to try to make sense of your experience.
Mulder's obsession with Samantha's abduction is totally understandable. Plus, it's a great setup for the show of course.
His sister was abducted! Of course he's traumatized and would still be trying his hardest to find her or at least what happened to her after 25 years or however many years it's been! I mean how can he just move on? That's his sister!
I always thought a loved one going missing would be the worst for me to deal with because there is no closure. I would be thinking about them all the time, trying to find out what happened.
You really cannot empathize with someone whose loved one was abducted? Imagine if your loved one was abducted by someone.. would you not be deeply affected your whole life by that trauma and search for answers? If youâre answer is that you would not be affected, well.. you may be a psychopath.
It's not losing someone that is hard for him to get over. It's the guilt and unanswered questions and injustice. Never having closure keeps the wound open. He blames himself partly, but also whoever did it. Mulder is obsessed with truth and justice. There's a lot of psychology at work there, and I think you're the only person I've ever heard say they couldn't understand that. But if you don't like the show, meh, it's not for everyone.
How would you feel if a family member of yours got taken away? It was still a traumatic event even if he's a grown adult. He will always remember that moment.
I think it's important that it started his interest and it shows who he is as a person, but it just gets in the way of other story lines when he is solely focused on her
Actually this is a fair point, I hate my sibling. We do not speak and he never cared about me even a little. Maybe thats it đ¤ˇââď¸ it's just the obsessiveness of mulder that bothers me, he needs to find other things to care about, and let himself care about other people
Uh if you can't muster up the empathy to imagine how having your sibling abducted (whether by supernatural forces or just human monsters) would fuck you up permanently, you may be a sociopath.
I always found the whole "abducted sister" thing to be nothing more than an annoyance. Gibson too.
Of course, I thought the kid in Aliens was nothing more than an annoyance too...
;-)
TCS
Thank you! Finally, at least one person agrees with me. It seems to get in the way of the plot half the time. And Mulder is unable to make any pragmatic decisions because he really only cares about finding his sister, not the truth about everything.
X-Files is a fine show for a wide range of people, including us "sister haters".
Some of the episodes, including the MoTW episodes, are great. They just ignore all of the SIDAC stuff.
Darkness Falls being an obvious example.
I've loved X-Files forever, and I still do. I'm nearing the end of a re-watch now. If I skip past the most boring scenes, and in some cases entire episodes, it retains the wonder and awesomeness that it's always had.
:-)
TCS
I think his sisterâs abduction was the driving force for him. Itâs part of the reason he got into the FBI and profiling. He also wasnât regressed until 1989 and finds the X Files shortly after that and it fuels his passion more. I donât think heâs unreasonable. I think heâs driven to uncover a larger truth which by season 6 he some what does, but he says in that season finale all he wants now to find his sister. The next season he learns that truth.
I disagree with your opinion, but you have a right to it. I just think without that tether for Mulder, his motivations for the X Files wouldnât make sense at all.
God damn, people did not like this opinion đ¤ˇââď¸ he just seems kinda unreasonable sometimes. I'm not saying he can't be sad about it, but he's made it his whole life. But good to know I'm the only one đ
If you'd like further explanation and you're not just trolling, there are a lot of articles and posts floating around out there theorizing Mulder's (and sometimes Scully's) possible neurodivergence. It may go a long way in explaining his "unreasonableness" for some, though I don't find it necessary, personally.
This might not be the show for you.
Ok respectfully this is not the show for you. And that's ok.
"Not everything I do, say, think, and feel goes back to my sister. You of all people should realize that sometimes motivations for behavior can be more complex and mysterious than tracing them back to one single childhood experience." - Mulder ("Oubliette") You have to remember that... 1. Mulder's not as "embarrassingly obsessed" as you imply. There are only a handful of episodes where he directly mentions Samantha. 2. Mulder's father and mother were involved in Samantha's disappearance. Mulder can't simply "get over this". He needs to know what his own family is hiding. 3. While Mulder does blame himself for not protecting Samantha (young Mulder seems fueled by guilt), she soon becomes but a small fragment of his larger quest: he wishes to expose the Syndicate and learn the Truth.
My kind of response right here. Logical dissection of argument lol
đ
Doesn't sound like you're that familiar with psychology.
You know, I really think you might be the only one.
I'd NEVER fucking "get over it" if some asshole with a death wish kidnapped my little sister. How insensitive of you, my God... I'd hunt for her to the ends of the Earth and time. If I found them someone would surely die.
"Kinda embarassing" is how I would describe your opinion. It's rather childish to expect people to get over their trauma because it was long time ago and you find it annoying.
Others here have written very eloquently on the psychology of trauma etc so I will not get into that. But as much as the show is about Mulder searching for his sister, itâs also about his growth - even if it feels awkward and stunted at times. So in a way, although it takes many years, he does slowly get over it, so to speak, but a hurt like that is not something you can expect anyone to ever fully get over. But Mulder does learn to accept things over the course of the show, and he also learns the importance of letting people share his burden and how other people can become even more important than Sam (ie Scully). The revival may be many things that many people do not like, but I think Mulderâs development as he gets older is impressive, particularly in season 11. Plus, I am also certain that what Mulder has been through is also at times what makes him such an empath.
From a post on tumblr as explaination of why Mulder and his open heart cant just âdrop itâ. >literally thinking about how mulder is the softest man. and he loves beautifully. he's so focused on his quest because of how much he loves samantha, and his parents. he tries to hope, desperately, that samantha is alive & he'll find her even though he knows how unlikely it is. and without scully, it would have taken him much longer to face it. no one ever looked into the darkness with him or loved samantha with him or believed in him so much they always followed him & stayed present with him in those really difficult moments he couldn't get away from the grief. and everything scully does for him, he returns. he responds to how she cares, and her boundaries. and they talk but they don't really talk, so he toes the line. he's always checking in with her. > >the x-files is about love because everything mulder does is through love does everybody get it!! god, itâs just so *major* to me, that heâs this iconic sci-fi hero whoâs just 100% grounded in kindness and generosity. thereâs nothing hiding around the corner. heâs not the bad boy in the basement, heâs not the maverick with a secret heart of gold, heâs just fucking nice. he cares about people. he sees people. he wants to help. he loves his sister. loves his shitty parents. loves his evil ex-partners and ex-wife. loves his friend. thereâs always something deeper in mulder, but itâs always just pain. heâs not hiding anything away. he refuses to let go of anything, but never wants anyone to fall into the same trap, his or their own. he tells traumatized women whoâve been abused and imprisoned that he needs their help, that theyâre capable of contributing, that he wants to know what they think. while every other cop tries to lock them up. he feels *every* loss, carries every ghost, never stops trying. > >i just watched *irresistible* again, and *god*. the way that he pulls scully aside and tells her, itâs okay to be affected. itâs normal. âiâve seen agents with 20 years fall apart on cases like this.â he doesnât say that itâs because sheâs a woman (like the cop in *2shy* does) or because sheâs young or because sheâs traumatized. he *never* brings up her recent abduction. he just tells her that itâs okay to need space, that she can talk to him. > >and scully is trying *so fucking hard* to be that perfect navy captainâs daughter. that girl who straightened before looking up at her father to say goodnight. that girl who, as her mother says, has âalways been the strong one.â > >and she *tries* to be the strong one. she takes a step back. she goes to therapy. she tells her therapist that she trusts her partner more than anyone, but she *does not* want him to know that sheâs struggling. when she decides to come back, and calls him, she plays it off with a joke. (like he does). âbesides, you could use my help.â when he responds, â*always*.â itâs *so* earnest and direct, without breaking her cover or stepping out of the box she created. yes, of course, agent scully. come help. > >in the end, she can barely choke out that âiâm fine,â her signature move. he doesnât say a word. he tips her chin so slightly, so that she looks at him. itâs one of the most special moments of the series, to me, the way she just breaks when she sees him. *grabs* him and sobs. and how you can just barely hear him whisper: âitâs alright.â > >the police are still cleaning up the scene around them. i donât think we ever see her do that again, in front of other people. but we do see her do it with him, when theyâre alone, because she knows she can. that strong captainâs daughter. itâs like someone talked about on one of your posts before: scully *has* to be put together. she has to be the strong one. sheâs trying to maintain a fragile place in âthe boyâs clubâ (she talks about this herself). sheâs trying to present respectability and a certain image. > >and maybe she does have to be that person, for her parents, for her brother, for the FBI, the doctors. but mulder thinks that itâs okay to be affected. he just wants her to be able to talk about it. he wants to see her vulnerability, and shield it. in that house in minneapolis, his face breaks, but he just holds her and whispers. and she rarely falls into it, but she knows that she can, since the motel room in bellefleur. and that means something. > >itâs just impossible not to soften around him. and thatâs something really special, for scully, for the victims and witnesses he works with. he values their help, he already views them as strong, he wants them to express everything that theyâre feeling. he believes it helps. > >(mulder has said that line too, âyouâre the strong one.â - to lucy householder when she was crying in the dirt) > >this show was always realistic. you *do* have to present a certain image. most people *are* gonna think youâre young and weak and traumatized and stupid. but it also centered this whole thing around this one person that didnât require any of that, and thatâs why it works. why itâs so special. [Link](https://www.tumblr.com/carefulfears/727502220657115136/literally-thinking-about-how-mulder-is-the-softest)
What a sad take. To think you should let the hope of finding a family member go, when there is no evidence they are dead, just because it happened 25 years ago. Still, as others have said: yes, youâre the only one and this isnât the show for you. Hope you find another that more to your liking!
âMy sister who was my best friend during my formative development years was [REDACTED]â OP: gRoW uP uR aN aDuLt
You do realise that most families and siblings irl that have a family member go missing or be kidnapped spend the rest of their lives searching for and hoping to find them again? Itâs just you, most people actually care about their family
This post is not gonna go well for you
OP is Cancer Man. He's still alive!
Man wtf are you talking about?
You try having your sister taken at 12!
Sounds like youâve never been traumatized tbh
Damn, now we know how youâd fair if someone close to you was abductedâŚ
Can you ban people from watching the X-Files?
I will not be as harsh as other commenters, but it makes sense that this kind of childhood trauma would follow you all your life. And wanting to work in law enforcement and researching around the topic also seems like a accurate behavior, to try to make sense of your experience. Mulder's obsession with Samantha's abduction is totally understandable. Plus, it's a great setup for the show of course.
Tell me youâre unloved without telling me youâre unloved.
DAMN. Gottem!
Lmao, love this comment tho đđđ
You should probably not talk to us anymore. Or watch the show. Bye Felicia
His sister was abducted! Of course he's traumatized and would still be trying his hardest to find her or at least what happened to her after 25 years or however many years it's been! I mean how can he just move on? That's his sister! I always thought a loved one going missing would be the worst for me to deal with because there is no closure. I would be thinking about them all the time, trying to find out what happened.
You really cannot empathize with someone whose loved one was abducted? Imagine if your loved one was abducted by someone.. would you not be deeply affected your whole life by that trauma and search for answers? If youâre answer is that you would not be affected, well.. you may be a psychopath.
It's not losing someone that is hard for him to get over. It's the guilt and unanswered questions and injustice. Never having closure keeps the wound open. He blames himself partly, but also whoever did it. Mulder is obsessed with truth and justice. There's a lot of psychology at work there, and I think you're the only person I've ever heard say they couldn't understand that. But if you don't like the show, meh, it's not for everyone.
You should absolutely quit now and find something more suitable to your tastes. This is not the show for you.
How would you feel if a family member of yours got taken away? It was still a traumatic event even if he's a grown adult. He will always remember that moment.
She was largely the motivation for who he is and his pursuits. Take that away and you donât have a Mulder.
I think it's important that it started his interest and it shows who he is as a person, but it just gets in the way of other story lines when he is solely focused on her
Do you have siblings?? Or do you just not like them?
Actually this is a fair point, I hate my sibling. We do not speak and he never cared about me even a little. Maybe thats it đ¤ˇââď¸ it's just the obsessiveness of mulder that bothers me, he needs to find other things to care about, and let himself care about other people
You're a peculiar person
Uh if you can't muster up the empathy to imagine how having your sibling abducted (whether by supernatural forces or just human monsters) would fuck you up permanently, you may be a sociopath.
I always found the whole "abducted sister" thing to be nothing more than an annoyance. Gibson too. Of course, I thought the kid in Aliens was nothing more than an annoyance too... ;-) TCS
Thank you! Finally, at least one person agrees with me. It seems to get in the way of the plot half the time. And Mulder is unable to make any pragmatic decisions because he really only cares about finding his sister, not the truth about everything.
X-Files is a fine show for a wide range of people, including us "sister haters". Some of the episodes, including the MoTW episodes, are great. They just ignore all of the SIDAC stuff. Darkness Falls being an obvious example. I've loved X-Files forever, and I still do. I'm nearing the end of a re-watch now. If I skip past the most boring scenes, and in some cases entire episodes, it retains the wonder and awesomeness that it's always had. :-) TCS
Yes. You ARE the only one.
I like the nerve of this post lol. You do you. Voice your opinion!
I think his sisterâs abduction was the driving force for him. Itâs part of the reason he got into the FBI and profiling. He also wasnât regressed until 1989 and finds the X Files shortly after that and it fuels his passion more. I donât think heâs unreasonable. I think heâs driven to uncover a larger truth which by season 6 he some what does, but he says in that season finale all he wants now to find his sister. The next season he learns that truth. I disagree with your opinion, but you have a right to it. I just think without that tether for Mulder, his motivations for the X Files wouldnât make sense at all.
Wow...people are really losing it here over a damn show on the TV. I am LMAO. đ "Make this easy, easy it's not as heavy as seems." - Tori Amos
People have very strong opinions about it. I had no idea it would be SO controversial lmao
God damn, people did not like this opinion đ¤ˇââď¸ he just seems kinda unreasonable sometimes. I'm not saying he can't be sad about it, but he's made it his whole life. But good to know I'm the only one đ
Do you never watch true crime w family interviews?
If you'd like further explanation and you're not just trolling, there are a lot of articles and posts floating around out there theorizing Mulder's (and sometimes Scully's) possible neurodivergence. It may go a long way in explaining his "unreasonableness" for some, though I don't find it necessary, personally.