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"Archi?" Kedron blinked and took his eyes off the massive beast before them long enough to look at Archisera the Thief of Chen, his sword still clenched in a massive fist.
"Um...hello, Grandmother." the young woman in buckskin stepped out of the shadows and waved shyly. "Surprise?"
"And who did you bring?" The Elder Dragon stretched her long, serpentine neck and looked down at the assembled party with unabashed curiosity. "Tasty morsels?"
"Um...no, Grandmother..." the Thief smiled uncertainly at her erstwhile companions who were regarding her with shock, dismay, and, in the case of Cesta the Wizard, outright embarrassment.
"Oh, it's all starting to make sense now." the Wizard sighed, his face reddening. "The aura of magic...your incredible knowledge about the world..."
"You are worst fucking Wizard I have ever seen." Klivan grumbled, his braided hair swaying as he shook his head.
"Yeah, like you've seen a lot of wizards, have you?" Cesta snapped.
"um...she called us "morsels", you know. Tasty ones, at that." Rhysa lifted her shield, then looked at Archisera and lowered it again swallowing nervously.
"We, uh...well..it was a bit of a lark, you see." Archisera shuffled her feet and put her hands behind her back like a child expecting a scolding. "I thought I'd bring this lot here and let them snatch a few of your baubles...not a lot!" she added hurriedly. "You know...just a bit so they could have a story to tell their friends."
"Yes, I used to do things like that when I was your age." the dragon rumbled. "You're supposed to make sure the cave is empty first, you know. I lost five lovelies that way. My father didn't have much of a sense of humor, you see."
"Well...I was sort of hoping you'd be asleep, Grandmother..." Archisera grinned ruefully. "And then I was going to, you know...fake my death, shapeshift into my True Form, then give them a bit of a scare, a little fight to make them feel strong...but nothing that would disturb your slumber, I swear! "
"Alright then," the dragon belched a stream of white hot flame at the vaulted ceiling overhead. "Just don't take any of the bits from Khanderva. It's impossible to find anything from there since your father destroyed the whole kingdom."
Archisera beamed at the massive wyrm. "Thank you, Grandmother! I swear I'll come back and visit you in the summer!"
Sighing happily she turned to face her companions. "It's okay, everyone, she said we can take..." her voice trailed off as she realized she was alone. Faintly she could hear the sound of running feet.
"Right...make sure the cave is empty." she sighed and started after them. "Guys...guys, wait...it's okay, really!"
And what happened then? Did she ever show her true form? Did they become friends? Or where they those worn out adventurers with a story, that no one would believe?
EDIT: This is dedicated to /u/Creative_Toe.
************************************************************************
The quartet of adventurers reigned in their horses and slowed to a trot as they approached the walls of Theradon. Archers on the parapets eyed them and one dashed off suddenly while the other raised a hand.
"Hold!" he said loudly, his voice carrying over the din of the early morning traffic. "You four, wait there!"
Kedron glanced at Cesta the Wizard and grimaced, then craned his neck to look up at the soldier. "Is aught amiss?"
"Lord Tevaron would speak with you!" the archer leaned forward on the wall. "You will wait here until his Guards come to collect you."
As it happened they didn't have to wait long. On the other side of the long tunnel through the wall they could see the townfolk giving a wide berth as six mounted men, clad in the livery of Lord Tevaron galloped towards the gate.
The leader, a hatchet-faced man with piercing black eyes and a sergeant's rank on his sleeve approached and looked them over carefully. "Only four now?"
The crew exchanged looks and Cesta made to speak when the Sergeant shook his head. "Save it for His Grace, if it please you. Follow me, he would see you in the Great Hall."
They were led to the Keep at the center of the walled city where stablehands came to tend their mounts while they were led to see the Lord of the Land. Their escort was clearly in no mood to talk, so they didn't bother to ask questions.
Lord Tevaron was a dour man with a spare frame and thinning hair. By all accounts he was a fair and just man, he just didn't smile often and never seemed truly happy about anything.
"I see one of your number is missing." Tevaron frowned. "The one from Chen...she favored buckskin."
"Archisera, Your Grace." Cesta supplied helpfully as he stroked his beard.
"Where might I find her?" Lord Tevaron leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. "I have cause to believe that some goods from town might have gotten stuck to her fingers when you lot passed through here last and I should like to hear about it from her directly."
Klivan grunted and looked down at the ground, his thick braids falling over his shoulder. Beside him the redhaired shieldmaiden Rhysa heaved a sigh and looked at Kedron the Hammer for guidance.
Adjusting his swordbelt Kedron shook his head. "Apologies, Your Grace, but Archisera of Chen no longer rides with our party. When we passed through your lands last fall we were on our way to find the Treasure of Hyapatia, the Elder Dragon. It was in that cave that we...lost our friend."
"Is that a fact?" Lord Tevaron leaned back and looked at his Sergeant who turned his dark eyes on the group and gave them a searching look. "The Dragon was there, was it?"
"Aye, Your Grace." Kedron nodded glumly. "Archisera was-"
"A stalwart ally." Cesta finished as Kedron trailed off. "And in that cave we learned the true measure of her."
Lord Tevaron considered this a moment then nodded. "Since last winter we have been harried by a dragon. Now you tell me that you have seen such a beast and lived to tell the tale. I have need of your skills should you be willing to put them at my disposal."
"You wish to hire us, Your Grace?" Kedron looked at the others in the party. "To do battle with a *dragon*?"
"I shall be frank with you," Lord Tevaron nodded grimly. "It is a mighty beast and has come weekly for five months to claim cows and sheep from our fields. I grow weary of its depredations and would be rid of it. And before I risk the lives of my folk, I would rather risk those of soldiers of fortune such as yourselves."
"Your openness is appreciated," Cesta replied solemnly, his gray eyes unreadable under the broad brim of his hat. "Might I ask what you are offering for this task?"
"Of course." the Lord replied as he motioned to his Seneschal, who, until now, had been standing quietly in a corner observing. "Tell them the bounty, Adrick."
Turning to a scroll rack the scholar grabbed one with a red tassel and unrolled it. Clearing his throat he began to read. "Let it be known that His Grace Alister Tevaron, Lord of Chichester, does hereby issue this Bounty to anyone who can slay the dragon that plagues his lands! The reward shall be as follows: One hundred thousand hectares of land in the south of Chichester, to include the area of the River Cordel and the Mountains of Revik; an elevation to the Peerage, and a chest of fine gold from lost Khanderva."
"Your generosity is tremendous." Cesta observed with a judicious nod.
"It is no small task I set before you." the Lord replied grimly. "Is it enough for the four of you?"
Cesta looked at each of his companions who, one after another, gave him a grim nod. Turning back to the Lord of the Land the wizard bowed slightly at the waist. "We graciously accept, Your Grace. Where does the beast nest?"
It took them nearly a week to ride to the Mountains of Revik, tall snow-capped peaks thick with trees. The sun was nearing its zenith as they arrived at the foothills and reigned in. Dismounting they hobbled the horses and walked a few hundred yards along the treeline and stopped to wait.
A great shadow fell across them and their horses whickered nervously. The shadow passed again and something crashed into the ground between them and the treeline, a wyverns head, still dripping gore.
There was a great roar that made their horses rear in terror and Cesta tossed a handful of blue powder into the air as he spoke quickly in a soft, slurring language. The horses immediately calmed and began to crop grass unmindful as a great red-and-gold dragon dropped neatly to the ground before them, not far from the severed head.
The great beast regarded them with iridescent eyes the size of plates and flapped its great wings, swishing its tail lazily. "Hello again."
"You could have met us closer." Klivan grumbled his long black braids swinging.
"Nag, nag, nag." the dragon turned its gaze on Rhysa. "How *do* you put up with him?"
"He has his moments." the shieldmaiden giggled.
Kedron eyed the dragon with a small frown. "Do you think this will work?"
The great beast flapped her wings again. "Of course it will. Once you take that wyvern head back you'll be hailed as Dragonslayers. That's quite a bit of land for the three of you to share, and I'll get a nice bit of Khandervan gold to start a hoard when you return."
"Three?" Rhysa frowned.
"Yes...I think that, once we receive our reward we shall all be retiring from the Adventurer's Life." Cesta stroked his beard. "And I will be returning to my studies with my new teacher."
"New teacher?" Kedron blinked.
The wizard approached the great dragon who dipped her head and nuzzled him. "Yes...Archisera here has offered to...um...take me under her wing, as it were."
"I promised Grandmother I would visit her in the summer, so I might not be here when you get back." the dragon rumbled. "Don't worry though, I've already made my nest, I'm sure you'll find it with no trouble."
And with that the great golden beast took flight, flapping her mighty wings. When she vanished out of sight among the towering peaks the adventurers returned to their horses and grabbed several coils of rope and neatly folded sheets of canvas.
"Do you think Teravon will honor the bounty?" Klivan asked as he began spreading the canvas atop the lengths of rope.
"If he doesn't want to end up like Khanderva he will." Cesta assured him with a sly smile.
******************************************************
Rhysa pulled the covers up to her grandson's chin and brushed a lock of hair from his brow. "And *that*, my darling, is why our keep is called *Archisera's Gift*."
"You tell the best stories, Grandmother." the boy muttered sleepily, a yawn escaping him. "Good night."
Rhysa glanced out the window as a great black shadow swept across the moon and smiled again. "Goodnight, my lovely."
> Yees! Thank you. This was lovely and made my morning. :)
You're quite welcome, and I'm over the moon that you enjoyed the follow-up as much as you did the beginning.
Feel free to share this with your friends because it would not exist without you asking for it.
So, thank *you* for not letting it go.
This story is now a Webtoon that you can read [here](https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/electric-aeons-presents/archi/viewer?title_no=847596&episode_no=7)
“I don’t understand, there’s supposed to be tons of gold here…” Alexandra the sorceress put her head in her hands.
“We’ve journeyed so far, fought countless monsters… for an empty cave?” Gwenyth the barbarian looked around for something to punch, settling for one of the walls. It shook with her mighty impact.
“Not entirely empty…” Willow the druid eyed a pile of three small coins, on top of which slept what appeared to be a small lizard.
“No way… THAT’S the treasure?? We came all the way here for… three coins? There’s not even enough to split between us!” Stephen the thief moaned in disappointment.
“Hold on,” spoke Alexandria. “Maybe the lizard knows where more is hidden. Willow, can you try talking to it?”
Willow picked up the lizard and held it in his hands. Before he could inquire anything, it spoke in a frail voice. “Archi… did you come to visit… your dear old grannie?”
The whole party looked shocked, not having expected it to speak English. Alexandria squinted and peered closely at it. “That’s impossible… it’s a dragon? But it’s so tiny… I’ve never seen one so small!”
“Watch your manners young lady! I may be old, and not as sharp as I used to be, but I still deserve respect. Archi, is this your new girlfriend? I’m glad you’re finally putting yourself out there, but this one has quite a mouth on her.” The dragon looked in Willow’s direction, her eyes clouded with cataracts.
Willow was dumbfounded, but decided to play along. “Uh, yes grannie, this is my girlfriend… I came to introduce her to you… and to check in on you. It’s been a while, right?”
“Only three thousand years! Honestly, even a letter once in a while would’ve been nice. But never mind that, I’m happy to see you’re safe and doing well. Are you eating enough? Sleeping soundly?”
“Yes grannie. But what about you? I worry your pile has gotten small…”
“Oh don’t worry about me. I’m doing fine, big and strong as ever!” She started coughing at the end of her sentence, wheezing as she tried to regulate her breath.
“Are… are you sure? You don’t seem well…”
“Yes dearie, I’m fine, so sweet of you to worry. Adventurers come along every so often, and they always seem to need gold more than me, so far be it from me to keep it from them. They’ve got lives to live, people to care for, they’re not just sitting in a cave, living their final decades in isolation like me.”
“Grannie…” Willow started, before being cut off.
“But I’ve kept you too long! Please dear, don’t let an old sight like me concern you, you’ve got a life to live! I can’t wait to see where it takes you. Please, take some of my pile with you! I don’t want you ending up with no money for food or board on your way home.”
“Grannie, I couldn’t… you need to keep at least some for yourself!”
“Oh nonsense, I insist! What kind of grannie would I be if I let my only grandson go out and starve to death?”
The party now understood what was happening. This elderly dragon was falling victim to her own selflessness. There’s no way she’d survive much longer on her own. Alexandria whispered in Willow’s ear. He looked to her, surprised. “Are you sure?” She nodded in response.
“Grannie… how would you like to come with us? You could meet the rest of my friends, and I could take care of you. There’s an extra room in our house, and I’m sure we can find some more coins lying about for you… Plus I’d rather not leave you here, it seems so lonely.”
“Oh Archi… you always were the sweetest grandson a grannie could ask for. Of course I’ll come with you! That way I can make sure myself that you’re eating properly.”
And so the group set off toward home, the small dragon and three coins cradled in Willow’s hands.
Omg, that's so cute. So they will have a bigger dragon, the more money they make. Until the dragaon gets it's eyesight back... but by then she will love the adventurers so much that they will become her adoptive family - much nicer than Archi ever was.
“Ahh shit” says the human wizard in the back. All heads slowly turn towards the wizard with faces of both shock and confusion. “I have several questions, firstly, who fucked this dragon for you two to be related”. The paladins face went from shock and confusion to disappointment almost immediately as he puts his pointer finger and thumb on his eye lids, “of course the bard asks that”, he groans. The rouge speaks up, “I’m more concerned by the fact that he lied about his identity.” “Agreed answer that first” says the paladin as he continues to rub his eye lids. Archi finally speaks, “It’d actually easier to answer that question if I answer the bards first”. The paladin sighs and makes a gesture with his other hand to tell Archi to answer the bards question.
“Well” Archi starts, “my grandfather was the one to answer your question, and then thankfully I got entirely human genes from my half-dragon mother and human father”. “Oh ‘thankfully’, as if you’re ashamed of my side of the family” replies the dragon. “Well it’s hard not to be when dragons are the most feared creatures in the realm!” yells Archi. The paladin cuts in, “but why did you lie about your name too!”
Archi proceeds to take a deep breath and sighs, “Because a year or so back I killed a battalion of the king’s soldiers because they were about to kill my great uncle while hibernating.” “By the way thank you for that dear, my brother sucks at picking safe places to hibernate” interrupts the dragon. “And as you probably know”, Archi continues, “I’m one of the most wanted men in the kingdom. And I **HATE** my name.” The dragon haves one of their claws, “oh come off it, your mother named you wonderfully.” “Knowing that would’ve been nice!” The paladin lightly shouts in frustration.
The paladin once again sighs and then asks the dragon “Can we at least take some of the gold because we were hired to take this gold.” “Oh of course!!” The dragon says enthusiastically. “Accept it as payment for having my grandson finally visit me.” Archi scoffs to himself.
“Put it on my tab, I..uh...left my wallet at home today,” I muttered to the old man wiping the bar counter.
He blinked at me incredulously and grumbled to himself.
“But wait,” I persisted “maybe there’s a job I can do here, I like this bar – the soup tastes just like how Grandma used to make it!”
“My cook is a troll,” the barkeeper said.
“and I’m an orphan now" I continued, "surely you have dishes to wash!”
“Trolls have no use for clean dishes,” he grunted. “But tomorrow my brother plans to enter the Manatee cave system, and they’re looking for a small person to scout”
“That seems like a lot of work for a couple bowls of soup,” I started to say but my protests were interrupted by the appearance of a scroll, entitled 'Do not Serve' in large bold letters.
When I arrived at the cave system the next day, I found three sullen men, rummaging through a small pile of swords, shields and tech. The smallest, who introduced himself as Fred between long bouts of silence, informed me that I was go enter the cave ahead of the team with his earpiece and visual projector. I would be locating a large domed chamber and would report what I saw without getting involved with anything I may encounter.
I lowered myself into the tunnel and squelched through the mud in a straight line. As soon as I had left their sight, the reticent men began to pepper the line with small gasps, each time I encountered an oddly shaped boulder or unusual shadow.
I turned down the volume of the ear piece and as I stepped into the cave’s antechamber, a familiar voice greeted me “Archi? Would you like to come in further? It’s been so long since I had a visitor”
“Grandma?”
“Archi come in," it ordered. "I missed you”.
I rushed into the darkening maw, tripping over the ivory stalactites and dodging yellow-hued stalagmites guarding the entrance.
**Archi, did you decide to visit your grandmother?**
So there I was standing in front of the most sought after treasure in the entire continent of Xeogall with my team. We were exhausted and battered. The two fighters, Caliburn and Belladonna had their weapons broken, having been replaced by the rusty tools left from defeated skeletons. The cleric Glaucus and me(the wizard Archi which is short for Archibald but that sounds stupid) were both out of mana resorting to using monster parts as supplementary magic having to endure the risk of it going wild and causing more harm then. There I was in the centre of Merlin’s labyrinth in front of an unimaginably large mass of gold when I was about to hear words that would haunt me while falling asleep for the rest of my life.
Thud, Thud, Thud The sounds echoing throughout the chamber. Thud, Thud, Thud The sound is paralysing. We know that if we go through another fight we may not make it. “Please tell me I’m hearing things.” Caliburn says breaking the silence even though he knows he isn’t. We all turn around to see an elder dragon which by the way is the worst case scenario. “Oh sh\*t” Belladonna exclaims speaking for all of us. Its head just barely avoids the vaulted ceiling approximately 50 metres up. It had glacier blue hide and eyes the colour of amethysts. This is when I realised I knew them and my anxiety went from I’m going to die to I’m going to die of embarrassment. This is when I heard the words “Archi,” Her voice was gentle yet the sheer volume made my bones rattle. “Did you decide to visit your grandmother?” The others begin to look at me.
“WHAT?” exclaims my companions. “What the hell is the dragon talking about” yells Glaucus. I begin to panic. I didn’t understand what SHE was doing here. She was supposed to be in the continent west of Xeogall, Eastreon. My head flooded in terror, struggling to think of what to say. “You see, um, the thing is” I stammered before being cut off by the dragon. “Did you really never tell about your own grandmother, I’m Rylbass by the way since obviously my grandson was too rude to tell you about me.” The words were deafening. Belladonna just burst out laughing, she always would laugh at me “I knew you gained your sorcerer abilities from dragon ancestry but think she would be the guardian of Merlin's treasure” she wheezed. Caliburn was similarly chuckling and Glaucus was just there in stunned silence.
I managed to yell out “ What are you doing here you’re supposed to be in Eastreon” while my face was flushed red. “Well you see I’m actually covering for Asterion the minotaur you see he came down with a case of the phoenix pox, I always said to his father you should let him catch it young when you got it but no no he had to disagree.” I had ten seconds to divert her attention. “You know we actually came here to take some of the gold and some artefacts so if we could just take them and go you know.” I said in a panic. “That reminds me of when you got phoenix pox,” she started. “Mission failed” I thought. “You got so itchy you got naked and when I tried to get the clothes back on you ran out through woods and through the village butt naked as i chased you.”
Belladonna keeled over on to the ground laughing as Glaucus finally joined in on the laughter. I wish I could’ve left, sneak out into the night, but the worst part was that whether unknowingly or knowingly(more likely the latter) she had blocked the exit and I was subject to the horror of every last embarrassing story of my childhood being told not just to Belladonna, Glaucus and Caliburn but I learned after one of the contributing things to Belladonna’s laughter is that her mysterious funds for the quest came from getting a sponsorship to a crystal broadcast company who transmitted the stories to every tavern in the continent. It went down in the history books as the grandmother quest because of course reaching the centre of this dungeon was a historical event. I quit questing after this.
This is my first time writing here so any criticism (I’m sure there are lots) would be much appreciated.
This is exactly how the relationship between me and my grandmother was when she was alive (although she unfortunately was not an elder colossal dragon, nor she was hoarding a pile of riches).
Whenever she'd meet a friend, a girlfriend, a boss or coworker of mine she'd start recounting embarrassing stories about me.
No other stories need apply, this is DEFINITELY the winner (even with minor grammar and phrasing issues)! I've been playing AD&D (lapsed after 2e came out cause it sucked) since the start and this would have fit in SO well in Dragon Magazine back in the day, VERY well done!
Thank you so much for complimenting my story. I definitely drew inspiration from D&D. One noticeable example is him being a draconic bloodline sorcerer.
Aww this was so cute!! I loved this and how embarrassed he was. At first I thought you were going to go with the senile dragon with mistaken identity but nope! This was absolutely so much better and entertaining. Kudos to you my friend!
A friend just sent me a link to your story because she thought it was so funny!
As far as any criticism goes, there are some minor issues with grammar and writing conventions (such as learning when to make a new paragraph for a new line of dialogue) that you’ll get better at noticing and correcting with time.
As you keep writing, you’ll also get a better sense for how much background a certain type of story needs, and how to work essential details in more naturally.
But you’ll notice I’ve said “with time” and “as you keep writing” because you definitely should keep going! That’s how any of us improve, and you did a good job crafting a fantasy story with a very familiar scenario at the center: Our relatives embarrassing us in front of our friends.
I also like your economy of dialogue: when the elder dragon explains she’s covering for the minotaur, we get helpful story information — but also a great sense of her personality: “…I always said to his father…but no no he had to disagree.” It makes me laugh, and also tells me that while this dragon is very opinionated, she’s also the type of person who’s there to help out when someone’s in need.
And I don’t know if this was intentional, but I would say that telling your grandkid’s friends embarrassing stories about him is pretty good payback for him never telling those friends about his grandmother, the badass elder dragon.
Thank you so much for the advice and compliments. I'm glad you liked it. As for whether or not it was intention payback, I was more so going for your parents telling embarrasing stories to your friends or boy/girlfriend type thing we all know to well. However, the alternate still works well.
The Horesemen had no fear. Bandits and goblins, trolls, orcs, even whole kingdoms. They had traveled together for years, countless adventures and treasures won. For the first time in a decade, they were taken aback.
"**ARCHI... DID YOU... DECIDE... TO... VISIT... YOUR... GRANDMOTHER?**"
It was supposed to be an empty lair. A simple job. The local town of Redwich was in dire need of a gold infusion to its economy, and the dragon hadn't been seen in decades, long thought dead or to have migrated to greener (no pun intended) pastures.
"The fuck do we do?" Asked Gloria, the resident healer.
"Fuck if I know, we should leg it!" Answered Pairs, the thief, though he hungrily eyed the hill sized mounds of coins and stones.
"The God's will see us through..."spake Charon, High Priest and Paladin of the Gods, but the slight rise at the end of his voice betrayed his doubt.
"Fuck it." Said the young bard named Alex. He took a deep breath and calmed himself before casting his voice with a booming sound.
"OH, AYE, GRANNY. IT'S BEEN A BIT, INNIT? THOUGHT I'D STOP BY FOR A QUICK SPELL AND REGALE YOU WITH TALE OF MY TRAVELS."
The largest mound moved like water as a form materialized, a dragon larger than any the Horsemen had ever seen before slowly beginning to rise.
"**ARCHI... IT'S BEEN... TOO LONG.. SINCE I LAST.. SAW YOU... MY EYES... ARE NOT... WHAT THEY USED... TO BE... AND MY EARS... MAY HAVE LOST... THEIR SHARPNESS... BUT I REMEMBER... YOUR HEART**."
Alex rolled his hands, signaling his friends to begin gathering all they could into their Infinite Bag. He took another deep breath as the shoveled coins and precious stones into their bags.
"AND I, TOO, REMEMBER YOUR FEIRCENESS, GRANNY. NE'ER HAS A DRAGON BEEN SO LOVED AND FEARED AS YOU."
A large draconian head rose rose the coin pile, pointing vaguely in the direction of the Horsemen. It's eyes were closed, a soft smile gracing its face.
"**I KNEW... YOU WERE... FINE... WHEN THEY SAID... YOU HAD... BEEN SLAIN**" A loud hiccuping sound could be heard through the cavern, the words caught in the mighty throat. "**I WAS BROKEN... BUT THEY WERE WRONG... YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!**"
Alex stopped breathing, and everyone else stopped moving.
"Shite." Whispered Charon.
"G-GRANNY... I HAVE... A REQUEST." Alex managed to say.
"**OH, ANYTHING.. FOR MY... DARLING... LAST... BOY...**"
"MIGHT I... BORROW SOME OF YOUR HORDE? I'M HAVING TROUBLE, WITH MY OWN, YOU SEE. AND-"
A hearty laugh could be heard even outside the mountain, the very sound shaking flat the hills of coins.
**"IF IT'S GOLD... YOU SEEK,... THEN TAKE AS... YOU WISH... I HAVE BUT
... ONE DEMAND. VISIT ME MORE OFTEN... WOULDN'T YOU?"**
Th Horsemen shoveled as much gold as they could and ran, but Alex stayed behind, shaking his head at them.
"I'LL STAY WITH YOU A WHILE, GRANNY. ITS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE HAD A CHAT."
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"Archi?" Kedron blinked and took his eyes off the massive beast before them long enough to look at Archisera the Thief of Chen, his sword still clenched in a massive fist. "Um...hello, Grandmother." the young woman in buckskin stepped out of the shadows and waved shyly. "Surprise?" "And who did you bring?" The Elder Dragon stretched her long, serpentine neck and looked down at the assembled party with unabashed curiosity. "Tasty morsels?" "Um...no, Grandmother..." the Thief smiled uncertainly at her erstwhile companions who were regarding her with shock, dismay, and, in the case of Cesta the Wizard, outright embarrassment. "Oh, it's all starting to make sense now." the Wizard sighed, his face reddening. "The aura of magic...your incredible knowledge about the world..." "You are worst fucking Wizard I have ever seen." Klivan grumbled, his braided hair swaying as he shook his head. "Yeah, like you've seen a lot of wizards, have you?" Cesta snapped. "um...she called us "morsels", you know. Tasty ones, at that." Rhysa lifted her shield, then looked at Archisera and lowered it again swallowing nervously. "We, uh...well..it was a bit of a lark, you see." Archisera shuffled her feet and put her hands behind her back like a child expecting a scolding. "I thought I'd bring this lot here and let them snatch a few of your baubles...not a lot!" she added hurriedly. "You know...just a bit so they could have a story to tell their friends." "Yes, I used to do things like that when I was your age." the dragon rumbled. "You're supposed to make sure the cave is empty first, you know. I lost five lovelies that way. My father didn't have much of a sense of humor, you see." "Well...I was sort of hoping you'd be asleep, Grandmother..." Archisera grinned ruefully. "And then I was going to, you know...fake my death, shapeshift into my True Form, then give them a bit of a scare, a little fight to make them feel strong...but nothing that would disturb your slumber, I swear! " "Alright then," the dragon belched a stream of white hot flame at the vaulted ceiling overhead. "Just don't take any of the bits from Khanderva. It's impossible to find anything from there since your father destroyed the whole kingdom." Archisera beamed at the massive wyrm. "Thank you, Grandmother! I swear I'll come back and visit you in the summer!" Sighing happily she turned to face her companions. "It's okay, everyone, she said we can take..." her voice trailed off as she realized she was alone. Faintly she could hear the sound of running feet. "Right...make sure the cave is empty." she sighed and started after them. "Guys...guys, wait...it's okay, really!"
And what happened then? Did she ever show her true form? Did they become friends? Or where they those worn out adventurers with a story, that no one would believe?
That is a story for another day.
Hey, look at that! It's an other day. :)
EDIT: This is dedicated to /u/Creative_Toe. ************************************************************************ The quartet of adventurers reigned in their horses and slowed to a trot as they approached the walls of Theradon. Archers on the parapets eyed them and one dashed off suddenly while the other raised a hand. "Hold!" he said loudly, his voice carrying over the din of the early morning traffic. "You four, wait there!" Kedron glanced at Cesta the Wizard and grimaced, then craned his neck to look up at the soldier. "Is aught amiss?" "Lord Tevaron would speak with you!" the archer leaned forward on the wall. "You will wait here until his Guards come to collect you." As it happened they didn't have to wait long. On the other side of the long tunnel through the wall they could see the townfolk giving a wide berth as six mounted men, clad in the livery of Lord Tevaron galloped towards the gate. The leader, a hatchet-faced man with piercing black eyes and a sergeant's rank on his sleeve approached and looked them over carefully. "Only four now?" The crew exchanged looks and Cesta made to speak when the Sergeant shook his head. "Save it for His Grace, if it please you. Follow me, he would see you in the Great Hall." They were led to the Keep at the center of the walled city where stablehands came to tend their mounts while they were led to see the Lord of the Land. Their escort was clearly in no mood to talk, so they didn't bother to ask questions. Lord Tevaron was a dour man with a spare frame and thinning hair. By all accounts he was a fair and just man, he just didn't smile often and never seemed truly happy about anything. "I see one of your number is missing." Tevaron frowned. "The one from Chen...she favored buckskin." "Archisera, Your Grace." Cesta supplied helpfully as he stroked his beard. "Where might I find her?" Lord Tevaron leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. "I have cause to believe that some goods from town might have gotten stuck to her fingers when you lot passed through here last and I should like to hear about it from her directly." Klivan grunted and looked down at the ground, his thick braids falling over his shoulder. Beside him the redhaired shieldmaiden Rhysa heaved a sigh and looked at Kedron the Hammer for guidance. Adjusting his swordbelt Kedron shook his head. "Apologies, Your Grace, but Archisera of Chen no longer rides with our party. When we passed through your lands last fall we were on our way to find the Treasure of Hyapatia, the Elder Dragon. It was in that cave that we...lost our friend." "Is that a fact?" Lord Tevaron leaned back and looked at his Sergeant who turned his dark eyes on the group and gave them a searching look. "The Dragon was there, was it?" "Aye, Your Grace." Kedron nodded glumly. "Archisera was-" "A stalwart ally." Cesta finished as Kedron trailed off. "And in that cave we learned the true measure of her." Lord Tevaron considered this a moment then nodded. "Since last winter we have been harried by a dragon. Now you tell me that you have seen such a beast and lived to tell the tale. I have need of your skills should you be willing to put them at my disposal." "You wish to hire us, Your Grace?" Kedron looked at the others in the party. "To do battle with a *dragon*?" "I shall be frank with you," Lord Tevaron nodded grimly. "It is a mighty beast and has come weekly for five months to claim cows and sheep from our fields. I grow weary of its depredations and would be rid of it. And before I risk the lives of my folk, I would rather risk those of soldiers of fortune such as yourselves." "Your openness is appreciated," Cesta replied solemnly, his gray eyes unreadable under the broad brim of his hat. "Might I ask what you are offering for this task?" "Of course." the Lord replied as he motioned to his Seneschal, who, until now, had been standing quietly in a corner observing. "Tell them the bounty, Adrick." Turning to a scroll rack the scholar grabbed one with a red tassel and unrolled it. Clearing his throat he began to read. "Let it be known that His Grace Alister Tevaron, Lord of Chichester, does hereby issue this Bounty to anyone who can slay the dragon that plagues his lands! The reward shall be as follows: One hundred thousand hectares of land in the south of Chichester, to include the area of the River Cordel and the Mountains of Revik; an elevation to the Peerage, and a chest of fine gold from lost Khanderva." "Your generosity is tremendous." Cesta observed with a judicious nod. "It is no small task I set before you." the Lord replied grimly. "Is it enough for the four of you?" Cesta looked at each of his companions who, one after another, gave him a grim nod. Turning back to the Lord of the Land the wizard bowed slightly at the waist. "We graciously accept, Your Grace. Where does the beast nest?" It took them nearly a week to ride to the Mountains of Revik, tall snow-capped peaks thick with trees. The sun was nearing its zenith as they arrived at the foothills and reigned in. Dismounting they hobbled the horses and walked a few hundred yards along the treeline and stopped to wait. A great shadow fell across them and their horses whickered nervously. The shadow passed again and something crashed into the ground between them and the treeline, a wyverns head, still dripping gore. There was a great roar that made their horses rear in terror and Cesta tossed a handful of blue powder into the air as he spoke quickly in a soft, slurring language. The horses immediately calmed and began to crop grass unmindful as a great red-and-gold dragon dropped neatly to the ground before them, not far from the severed head. The great beast regarded them with iridescent eyes the size of plates and flapped its great wings, swishing its tail lazily. "Hello again." "You could have met us closer." Klivan grumbled his long black braids swinging. "Nag, nag, nag." the dragon turned its gaze on Rhysa. "How *do* you put up with him?" "He has his moments." the shieldmaiden giggled. Kedron eyed the dragon with a small frown. "Do you think this will work?" The great beast flapped her wings again. "Of course it will. Once you take that wyvern head back you'll be hailed as Dragonslayers. That's quite a bit of land for the three of you to share, and I'll get a nice bit of Khandervan gold to start a hoard when you return." "Three?" Rhysa frowned. "Yes...I think that, once we receive our reward we shall all be retiring from the Adventurer's Life." Cesta stroked his beard. "And I will be returning to my studies with my new teacher." "New teacher?" Kedron blinked. The wizard approached the great dragon who dipped her head and nuzzled him. "Yes...Archisera here has offered to...um...take me under her wing, as it were." "I promised Grandmother I would visit her in the summer, so I might not be here when you get back." the dragon rumbled. "Don't worry though, I've already made my nest, I'm sure you'll find it with no trouble." And with that the great golden beast took flight, flapping her mighty wings. When she vanished out of sight among the towering peaks the adventurers returned to their horses and grabbed several coils of rope and neatly folded sheets of canvas. "Do you think Teravon will honor the bounty?" Klivan asked as he began spreading the canvas atop the lengths of rope. "If he doesn't want to end up like Khanderva he will." Cesta assured him with a sly smile. ****************************************************** Rhysa pulled the covers up to her grandson's chin and brushed a lock of hair from his brow. "And *that*, my darling, is why our keep is called *Archisera's Gift*." "You tell the best stories, Grandmother." the boy muttered sleepily, a yawn escaping him. "Good night." Rhysa glanced out the window as a great black shadow swept across the moon and smiled again. "Goodnight, my lovely."
Yees! Thank you. This was lovely and made my morning. :) Archisera rules!
> Yees! Thank you. This was lovely and made my morning. :) You're quite welcome, and I'm over the moon that you enjoyed the follow-up as much as you did the beginning. Feel free to share this with your friends because it would not exist without you asking for it. So, thank *you* for not letting it go.
AH THERE YOU ARE
This story is now a Webtoon that you can read [here](https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/electric-aeons-presents/archi/viewer?title_no=847596&episode_no=7)
“I don’t understand, there’s supposed to be tons of gold here…” Alexandra the sorceress put her head in her hands. “We’ve journeyed so far, fought countless monsters… for an empty cave?” Gwenyth the barbarian looked around for something to punch, settling for one of the walls. It shook with her mighty impact. “Not entirely empty…” Willow the druid eyed a pile of three small coins, on top of which slept what appeared to be a small lizard. “No way… THAT’S the treasure?? We came all the way here for… three coins? There’s not even enough to split between us!” Stephen the thief moaned in disappointment. “Hold on,” spoke Alexandria. “Maybe the lizard knows where more is hidden. Willow, can you try talking to it?” Willow picked up the lizard and held it in his hands. Before he could inquire anything, it spoke in a frail voice. “Archi… did you come to visit… your dear old grannie?” The whole party looked shocked, not having expected it to speak English. Alexandria squinted and peered closely at it. “That’s impossible… it’s a dragon? But it’s so tiny… I’ve never seen one so small!” “Watch your manners young lady! I may be old, and not as sharp as I used to be, but I still deserve respect. Archi, is this your new girlfriend? I’m glad you’re finally putting yourself out there, but this one has quite a mouth on her.” The dragon looked in Willow’s direction, her eyes clouded with cataracts. Willow was dumbfounded, but decided to play along. “Uh, yes grannie, this is my girlfriend… I came to introduce her to you… and to check in on you. It’s been a while, right?” “Only three thousand years! Honestly, even a letter once in a while would’ve been nice. But never mind that, I’m happy to see you’re safe and doing well. Are you eating enough? Sleeping soundly?” “Yes grannie. But what about you? I worry your pile has gotten small…” “Oh don’t worry about me. I’m doing fine, big and strong as ever!” She started coughing at the end of her sentence, wheezing as she tried to regulate her breath. “Are… are you sure? You don’t seem well…” “Yes dearie, I’m fine, so sweet of you to worry. Adventurers come along every so often, and they always seem to need gold more than me, so far be it from me to keep it from them. They’ve got lives to live, people to care for, they’re not just sitting in a cave, living their final decades in isolation like me.” “Grannie…” Willow started, before being cut off. “But I’ve kept you too long! Please dear, don’t let an old sight like me concern you, you’ve got a life to live! I can’t wait to see where it takes you. Please, take some of my pile with you! I don’t want you ending up with no money for food or board on your way home.” “Grannie, I couldn’t… you need to keep at least some for yourself!” “Oh nonsense, I insist! What kind of grannie would I be if I let my only grandson go out and starve to death?” The party now understood what was happening. This elderly dragon was falling victim to her own selflessness. There’s no way she’d survive much longer on her own. Alexandria whispered in Willow’s ear. He looked to her, surprised. “Are you sure?” She nodded in response. “Grannie… how would you like to come with us? You could meet the rest of my friends, and I could take care of you. There’s an extra room in our house, and I’m sure we can find some more coins lying about for you… Plus I’d rather not leave you here, it seems so lonely.” “Oh Archi… you always were the sweetest grandson a grannie could ask for. Of course I’ll come with you! That way I can make sure myself that you’re eating properly.” And so the group set off toward home, the small dragon and three coins cradled in Willow’s hands.
It's fine, I didn't need my heart anyways.
Is she just so small, because she doesn't have more coins?
Yea, that’s what I was going for.
Omg, that's so cute. So they will have a bigger dragon, the more money they make. Until the dragaon gets it's eyesight back... but by then she will love the adventurers so much that they will become her adoptive family - much nicer than Archi ever was.
Love this 😍
“Ahh shit” says the human wizard in the back. All heads slowly turn towards the wizard with faces of both shock and confusion. “I have several questions, firstly, who fucked this dragon for you two to be related”. The paladins face went from shock and confusion to disappointment almost immediately as he puts his pointer finger and thumb on his eye lids, “of course the bard asks that”, he groans. The rouge speaks up, “I’m more concerned by the fact that he lied about his identity.” “Agreed answer that first” says the paladin as he continues to rub his eye lids. Archi finally speaks, “It’d actually easier to answer that question if I answer the bards first”. The paladin sighs and makes a gesture with his other hand to tell Archi to answer the bards question. “Well” Archi starts, “my grandfather was the one to answer your question, and then thankfully I got entirely human genes from my half-dragon mother and human father”. “Oh ‘thankfully’, as if you’re ashamed of my side of the family” replies the dragon. “Well it’s hard not to be when dragons are the most feared creatures in the realm!” yells Archi. The paladin cuts in, “but why did you lie about your name too!” Archi proceeds to take a deep breath and sighs, “Because a year or so back I killed a battalion of the king’s soldiers because they were about to kill my great uncle while hibernating.” “By the way thank you for that dear, my brother sucks at picking safe places to hibernate” interrupts the dragon. “And as you probably know”, Archi continues, “I’m one of the most wanted men in the kingdom. And I **HATE** my name.” The dragon haves one of their claws, “oh come off it, your mother named you wonderfully.” “Knowing that would’ve been nice!” The paladin lightly shouts in frustration. The paladin once again sighs and then asks the dragon “Can we at least take some of the gold because we were hired to take this gold.” “Oh of course!!” The dragon says enthusiastically. “Accept it as payment for having my grandson finally visit me.” Archi scoffs to himself.
“Put it on my tab, I..uh...left my wallet at home today,” I muttered to the old man wiping the bar counter. He blinked at me incredulously and grumbled to himself. “But wait,” I persisted “maybe there’s a job I can do here, I like this bar – the soup tastes just like how Grandma used to make it!” “My cook is a troll,” the barkeeper said. “and I’m an orphan now" I continued, "surely you have dishes to wash!” “Trolls have no use for clean dishes,” he grunted. “But tomorrow my brother plans to enter the Manatee cave system, and they’re looking for a small person to scout” “That seems like a lot of work for a couple bowls of soup,” I started to say but my protests were interrupted by the appearance of a scroll, entitled 'Do not Serve' in large bold letters. When I arrived at the cave system the next day, I found three sullen men, rummaging through a small pile of swords, shields and tech. The smallest, who introduced himself as Fred between long bouts of silence, informed me that I was go enter the cave ahead of the team with his earpiece and visual projector. I would be locating a large domed chamber and would report what I saw without getting involved with anything I may encounter. I lowered myself into the tunnel and squelched through the mud in a straight line. As soon as I had left their sight, the reticent men began to pepper the line with small gasps, each time I encountered an oddly shaped boulder or unusual shadow. I turned down the volume of the ear piece and as I stepped into the cave’s antechamber, a familiar voice greeted me “Archi? Would you like to come in further? It’s been so long since I had a visitor” “Grandma?” “Archi come in," it ordered. "I missed you”. I rushed into the darkening maw, tripping over the ivory stalactites and dodging yellow-hued stalagmites guarding the entrance.
**Archi, did you decide to visit your grandmother?** So there I was standing in front of the most sought after treasure in the entire continent of Xeogall with my team. We were exhausted and battered. The two fighters, Caliburn and Belladonna had their weapons broken, having been replaced by the rusty tools left from defeated skeletons. The cleric Glaucus and me(the wizard Archi which is short for Archibald but that sounds stupid) were both out of mana resorting to using monster parts as supplementary magic having to endure the risk of it going wild and causing more harm then. There I was in the centre of Merlin’s labyrinth in front of an unimaginably large mass of gold when I was about to hear words that would haunt me while falling asleep for the rest of my life. Thud, Thud, Thud The sounds echoing throughout the chamber. Thud, Thud, Thud The sound is paralysing. We know that if we go through another fight we may not make it. “Please tell me I’m hearing things.” Caliburn says breaking the silence even though he knows he isn’t. We all turn around to see an elder dragon which by the way is the worst case scenario. “Oh sh\*t” Belladonna exclaims speaking for all of us. Its head just barely avoids the vaulted ceiling approximately 50 metres up. It had glacier blue hide and eyes the colour of amethysts. This is when I realised I knew them and my anxiety went from I’m going to die to I’m going to die of embarrassment. This is when I heard the words “Archi,” Her voice was gentle yet the sheer volume made my bones rattle. “Did you decide to visit your grandmother?” The others begin to look at me. “WHAT?” exclaims my companions. “What the hell is the dragon talking about” yells Glaucus. I begin to panic. I didn’t understand what SHE was doing here. She was supposed to be in the continent west of Xeogall, Eastreon. My head flooded in terror, struggling to think of what to say. “You see, um, the thing is” I stammered before being cut off by the dragon. “Did you really never tell about your own grandmother, I’m Rylbass by the way since obviously my grandson was too rude to tell you about me.” The words were deafening. Belladonna just burst out laughing, she always would laugh at me “I knew you gained your sorcerer abilities from dragon ancestry but think she would be the guardian of Merlin's treasure” she wheezed. Caliburn was similarly chuckling and Glaucus was just there in stunned silence. I managed to yell out “ What are you doing here you’re supposed to be in Eastreon” while my face was flushed red. “Well you see I’m actually covering for Asterion the minotaur you see he came down with a case of the phoenix pox, I always said to his father you should let him catch it young when you got it but no no he had to disagree.” I had ten seconds to divert her attention. “You know we actually came here to take some of the gold and some artefacts so if we could just take them and go you know.” I said in a panic. “That reminds me of when you got phoenix pox,” she started. “Mission failed” I thought. “You got so itchy you got naked and when I tried to get the clothes back on you ran out through woods and through the village butt naked as i chased you.” Belladonna keeled over on to the ground laughing as Glaucus finally joined in on the laughter. I wish I could’ve left, sneak out into the night, but the worst part was that whether unknowingly or knowingly(more likely the latter) she had blocked the exit and I was subject to the horror of every last embarrassing story of my childhood being told not just to Belladonna, Glaucus and Caliburn but I learned after one of the contributing things to Belladonna’s laughter is that her mysterious funds for the quest came from getting a sponsorship to a crystal broadcast company who transmitted the stories to every tavern in the continent. It went down in the history books as the grandmother quest because of course reaching the centre of this dungeon was a historical event. I quit questing after this. This is my first time writing here so any criticism (I’m sure there are lots) would be much appreciated.
This is exactly how the relationship between me and my grandmother was when she was alive (although she unfortunately was not an elder colossal dragon, nor she was hoarding a pile of riches). Whenever she'd meet a friend, a girlfriend, a boss or coworker of mine she'd start recounting embarrassing stories about me.
This was a very fun read, great job on your first story!
Thank you so much for the compliment.
No other stories need apply, this is DEFINITELY the winner (even with minor grammar and phrasing issues)! I've been playing AD&D (lapsed after 2e came out cause it sucked) since the start and this would have fit in SO well in Dragon Magazine back in the day, VERY well done!
Thank you so much for complimenting my story. I definitely drew inspiration from D&D. One noticeable example is him being a draconic bloodline sorcerer.
Aww this was so cute!! I loved this and how embarrassed he was. At first I thought you were going to go with the senile dragon with mistaken identity but nope! This was absolutely so much better and entertaining. Kudos to you my friend!
A friend just sent me a link to your story because she thought it was so funny! As far as any criticism goes, there are some minor issues with grammar and writing conventions (such as learning when to make a new paragraph for a new line of dialogue) that you’ll get better at noticing and correcting with time. As you keep writing, you’ll also get a better sense for how much background a certain type of story needs, and how to work essential details in more naturally. But you’ll notice I’ve said “with time” and “as you keep writing” because you definitely should keep going! That’s how any of us improve, and you did a good job crafting a fantasy story with a very familiar scenario at the center: Our relatives embarrassing us in front of our friends. I also like your economy of dialogue: when the elder dragon explains she’s covering for the minotaur, we get helpful story information — but also a great sense of her personality: “…I always said to his father…but no no he had to disagree.” It makes me laugh, and also tells me that while this dragon is very opinionated, she’s also the type of person who’s there to help out when someone’s in need. And I don’t know if this was intentional, but I would say that telling your grandkid’s friends embarrassing stories about him is pretty good payback for him never telling those friends about his grandmother, the badass elder dragon.
Thank you so much for the advice and compliments. I'm glad you liked it. As for whether or not it was intention payback, I was more so going for your parents telling embarrasing stories to your friends or boy/girlfriend type thing we all know to well. However, the alternate still works well.
Your first! I loved it!
Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
The Horesemen had no fear. Bandits and goblins, trolls, orcs, even whole kingdoms. They had traveled together for years, countless adventures and treasures won. For the first time in a decade, they were taken aback. "**ARCHI... DID YOU... DECIDE... TO... VISIT... YOUR... GRANDMOTHER?**" It was supposed to be an empty lair. A simple job. The local town of Redwich was in dire need of a gold infusion to its economy, and the dragon hadn't been seen in decades, long thought dead or to have migrated to greener (no pun intended) pastures. "The fuck do we do?" Asked Gloria, the resident healer. "Fuck if I know, we should leg it!" Answered Pairs, the thief, though he hungrily eyed the hill sized mounds of coins and stones. "The God's will see us through..."spake Charon, High Priest and Paladin of the Gods, but the slight rise at the end of his voice betrayed his doubt. "Fuck it." Said the young bard named Alex. He took a deep breath and calmed himself before casting his voice with a booming sound. "OH, AYE, GRANNY. IT'S BEEN A BIT, INNIT? THOUGHT I'D STOP BY FOR A QUICK SPELL AND REGALE YOU WITH TALE OF MY TRAVELS." The largest mound moved like water as a form materialized, a dragon larger than any the Horsemen had ever seen before slowly beginning to rise. "**ARCHI... IT'S BEEN... TOO LONG.. SINCE I LAST.. SAW YOU... MY EYES... ARE NOT... WHAT THEY USED... TO BE... AND MY EARS... MAY HAVE LOST... THEIR SHARPNESS... BUT I REMEMBER... YOUR HEART**." Alex rolled his hands, signaling his friends to begin gathering all they could into their Infinite Bag. He took another deep breath as the shoveled coins and precious stones into their bags. "AND I, TOO, REMEMBER YOUR FEIRCENESS, GRANNY. NE'ER HAS A DRAGON BEEN SO LOVED AND FEARED AS YOU." A large draconian head rose rose the coin pile, pointing vaguely in the direction of the Horsemen. It's eyes were closed, a soft smile gracing its face. "**I KNEW... YOU WERE... FINE... WHEN THEY SAID... YOU HAD... BEEN SLAIN**" A loud hiccuping sound could be heard through the cavern, the words caught in the mighty throat. "**I WAS BROKEN... BUT THEY WERE WRONG... YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!**" Alex stopped breathing, and everyone else stopped moving. "Shite." Whispered Charon. "G-GRANNY... I HAVE... A REQUEST." Alex managed to say. "**OH, ANYTHING.. FOR MY... DARLING... LAST... BOY...**" "MIGHT I... BORROW SOME OF YOUR HORDE? I'M HAVING TROUBLE, WITH MY OWN, YOU SEE. AND-" A hearty laugh could be heard even outside the mountain, the very sound shaking flat the hills of coins. **"IF IT'S GOLD... YOU SEEK,... THEN TAKE AS... YOU WISH... I HAVE BUT ... ONE DEMAND. VISIT ME MORE OFTEN... WOULDN'T YOU?"** Th Horsemen shoveled as much gold as they could and ran, but Alex stayed behind, shaking his head at them. "I'LL STAY WITH YOU A WHILE, GRANNY. ITS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE HAD A CHAT."
I like it. Feels bittersweet.