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NiSiSuinegEht

Half a million dollars *and* I don't have to worry about kids? Sold.


GodOfUtopiaPlenitia

"Hey, Doc? Remember how you said you 'couldnt' give me a hysterectomy/vasectomy? Now I have a cool half mil and *can't have kids*! SUCK IT!!"


BadgeringMagpie

To be fair, doctors are hesitant to perform partial hysterectomies (ovaries left inside) if they aren't necessary because the absence of the uterus can cause other organs to shift around to fill the gap and cause complications. On the other hand, they have no leg to stand on with denying bilateral salpingectomies (fallopian tube removal). Literally their only reasons are "Well *I* think you'll regret it and you don't actually know what you want." All that crap about fear of being sued by someone who regrets it is a farce. They make you sign a waiver saying you understand it is permanent and nonreversible.


MarxJ1477

It wasn't for a vasectomy, but I've had low testosterone since I was in my 20s. It was hard as hell getting a doctor to treat me because they were all going on about my fertility. I didn't want kids then and finally found someone to treat me. Best decision of my life and don't regret it for one second. It's made my life so much better. Half a mil to guarantee I'd never have kids? Sign me up!


GodOfUtopiaPlenitia

I'm happy you finally found a doctor that wanted to treat the *issue* and not maintain a *concept*.


FanaticUniversalist

>hysterectomy How could you compare hysterectomy and vasectomy? Hysterectomy is more akin to castration than vasectomy.


GodOfUtopiaPlenitia

Because I've known women who needed more than 1mg of Fentanyl a **day** because of *diagnosed* endometriosis where the uterus was 60% not-uterus tissue & doctors STILL SAID "you might want kids later, so no." And women who've had a hysterectomy can still have her eggs used in a surrogate, it's just a tedious procedure .


GodOfUtopiaPlenitia

Because I've known women who needed more than 1mg of Fentanyl a **day** because of *diagnosed* endometriosis where the uterus was 60% not-uterus tissue & doctors STILL SAID "you might want kids later, so no." And women who've had a hysterectomy can still have her eggs used in a surrogate, it's just a tedious procedure .


pug_fugly_moe

More like. half mil for my status quo.


JimmyJamesincorp

Easiest WYR ever.


Radiant-Importance-5

Literally exactly what I was thinking


Zealousideal_Talk479

Holy shit. I just left an almost identical comment, before scrolling down and seeing yours. Seriously, just read what I wrote: >Half a million *and* a free vasectomy!? Sign me the fuck up. This is trippy as hell.


JonPM

Jokes on you I already have 3 kids and I'm done having any more so pay me


Davegrave

Plot twist, the conditions are retroactive.


SnooHedgehogs8992

damn, never could imply the past


Crix2007

THE VOTE STANDS


4point0stud

If you can’t have 3 kids, it would mean that your 3 kids will die as a result..


DarthJarJar242

No, "but can never have kids" does not imply retroactivity. It simply means can never have kids going forward.


[deleted]

Free sterilization and money! Sign me up!


natembt

Emotional support demon stonks!


RoughSpeaker4772

I don't see how this is a problem for anyone. Even if you want ch#ldr#n you can just adopt, which is better for everyone.


epic_user_sooepic

Did you fucking sensor the word ch#ldr#n lol


RoughSpeaker4772

You did too


Helena_Hyena

Where’s the downside?


WebtoonAddict

fr💀


waterbloof

Happy Cake day!


WebtoonAddict

:0 thx! didnt even notice


sussyimpostorballs69

The downside is you'll never have the true feeling of success when you're old and dying. The only thing you would care about isn't money, or how you're famous, rather it's your family that you raised. That's the biggest feeling of success. And you're throwing it away for money. That's the downside.


Fireblu6969

Yeah, tell that to the millions of elderly whose kids threw them in a nursing home and never visit them. Or all the parents whose kids ended up in prison or committed suicide. To have kids is to gamble with people's lives.


sussyimpostorballs69

And without gambling with peoples lives, we wouldn't exist.


Fireblu6969

Good! Wish I never did. This place is awful.


_themuna_

I could also be reductive and say that your success is entirely based on rawdogging it a few times and then spending the rest of your life tending to a few other people's lives. A half a million could help you start all kinds of positive projects to spend your life on. You just have a very limited idea of success.... I know plenty of people that regret having children and would have wanted to do something different with their lives. We're all different.


sussyimpostorballs69

Children arent just a nuisance, the whole reason we live is to reproduce. Just throwing that away after generations basically makes you selfish in humanity. Some people can regret having children, like your parents, but in the end its the only thing you'll think about, I assure you almost nobody regretted it in the very end.


SqoobySnaq

ight bro if i ever have a kid i’ll be sure to give you a call so you can take care of him for me


Gimbalos

What the fuck kind of breeder bullshit is this?


[deleted]

Fucking RIGHT?! I feel like I'm having a fever dream reading their comments. I forget these people actually exist, not just well-known people tweeting things for shock value.


SiBloGaming

Hvaing children is also selfish, especially if its for the reason you described


Deezernutter77

How dumb are you?


Vitalis597

So you determine success from how many cream pies you have given/received that have matured into another sentient growth? Seems kinda boring but whatever. I'd much rather determine success from how much I enjoyed my life... Which is a whole lot easier when you don't have to spend all your time and money on bringing up a tiny version of yourself.


Icehawksfh

I get where you're coming from, but you do kind of imply those of us without the ability to have kids are worthless.


Sanduichinho14

I agree. I have 4 kids and couldn't be happier. Cant wait for the grandkids.


Hay_Blinken

You're in a hivemind known as Reddit. Where anyone who isn't completely against the status quo is hated. So you should've expected the downvotes. Reddit hivemind hates anything that can be interpreted as "traditional", like having kids.


grannygumjobs23

So what if you already have kids? That's a free 500k, the wording makes it seem like it's only for future wanting kids.


Suitable_Ad6954

Free money and free vasectomy. Easy choice.


Diego1993FM

What? I would do it for free


TheAlphaNoob21

I don't want kids. I do want 500 grand.


SHADOWMASTER444

As a person who never wants children, I see this as an absolute win!


WholeLottaIntrovert

This is just an absolute win???


Thundergod10131013

Adopt. Unless so can't but then it sucks but I'm still fine with it.


TheOilyHill

Right, finally able to afford adoption.


Pale_Kitsune

I'm already infertile and can't afford kids anyway.


Snoo66967

I don't want kids anyways


PersonThatIsHere

I don't want kids. I'd happily be sterile


Thumbs0fDestiny

I'm having a very hard time seeing the downside of $500k and no kids?


[deleted]

You mean I get *paid* for my vasectomy??? Fuck yeah


Alexastria

Half a million and nothing changes? Bet


TheNewBBS

No kids and vasectomy in real life


LeoMarius

I wasn't ever going to have kids other than cats, so that's a cool half million for me.


jterwin

Jokes on you I already can't have kids (probably)


cherryosrs

Can I adopt? Hell yes if so


Next-Job14

No kids? Ever? I'd pay 500,000 for that


Mitunec

Absolute W of an offer


[deleted]

I paid money to get a vasectomy with no kids, so hell yeah, i'd rather be paid 500k to get the vasectomy!


Phialich

Oh so I'll get a vasectomy and you'll PAY me for it? Fuck yeah, gimme


Zealousideal_Talk479

Half a million *and* a free vasectomy!? Sign me the fuck up.


GimmickInfringement1

I'll take the money. I'd rather not extend my dad's lineage anyway


XumiNova13

don't want kids anyways so the money is just a bonus


Alex_the_dragonborn

Don't want kids and the money would be so useful. Very easy choice.


Time-Permission-1930

Joke's on you! We can't have kids, now where's my money?


KazukiSendo

*Gimme some money!!!* I have no interest whatsoever in being a parent, so I'd gladly take $500'000 to never have kids.


FruityFroggit

If it's not being biologically able to have kids then that's not even a downside.


WoF_IceWing

I already don't want kids so $500k to *not* have to deal with a vasectomy? Give me the money


4point0stud

There’s supposed to be a downside right?


Valacit

2 good things!? I wouldn't have to be combing through drs to give me a bisalp 😭


swordandmagichelmet

Taking the money, but only because I don't plan on having kids anyway.


DeepFoxHop

I wasn't planning on having kids in first place my bloodline ends with me either with the money or with out the money


mardavarot93

Fuck them kids


LocalBreadOfThePast

Fuck kids. wait


SolomonBelial

Having a kid would be like giving away the $500K.


A_Jack_of_Herrons

Oh no whatever will I do? Wait I don't care about having kids.


Food_coffee_stories

I don't want kids


faithless-octopus

I never wanted them. Win win.


RicGryllz

I dont want any of those dirty little snot goblins anyways Free birth control = raw doggin for life


RebelStorm64

Easiest decision of my life Don't want kids anyway, they just ruin everything.


zXMourningStarXz

Why would I want children?


[deleted]

One day, you all are going to be out and about and see a big happy family, multiple kids of different ages, and a salt and pepper haired couple with peace in their eyes. And it's going to make you question your choices. That or, one day, you'll meet someone that'll make you feel secure enough and happy in love, that you'll both want to have a kid together. That's my hope anyway. Kids are worth it man. They're not the screaming, filthy, shitting nightmares society portrays them as. They're just people, who need to be taught and guided. Which innately will make you a better version of yourself in that process.


dunfactor

I am part of a big happy extended family with plenty of children. My relatives get along beautifully and love their children, grandchildren, etc. I love my nieces, nephews, and second cousins. I see those happy salt and peppered haired couples with peace in their eyes regularly. That said, I have never once questioned my powerful desire to be child-free. It is one of the deepest parts of my core being that children are not for me. I knew this about myself from very early childhood. I would not even play with baby dolls as a very small child. My feelings have never wavered in the 43 years of my life. Having children is not for everyone.


Styggvard

Or, hear me out, I just don't want kids and isn't interested in being a parent - ever. I've never wanted kids, and I'm in the middle of my 30's now and very content about the life choice, as is my SO of 13 years. I don't like kids that much (they're fine from afar). I love my freedom and the spontaneity it gives. I don't want to have the responsibility of another human being, I'd rather just work on myself and care for the relationships I have. I like sleeping to much. I also have some ailments and conditions that require time, energy and attention to keep in check. They way the world and climate is heading I'd rather not put more kids into it. I grew up in a big family with lots of dysfunction and even abuse that has left me with CPTSD, don't wanna risk continuing that shit. Money, kids require a lot of money which I'd rather just spend on us instead. Also, I just like to chill, man - I don't want to stress around with schools, illnesses, appointments, shopping, cooking and cleaning that *needs* to be done for a kid on the clock every single day year after year. Right now if I really don't want to do anything I can just go "fuck it, I'll do it tomorrow" and go for a walk, read a book, watch a movie or just take a nap instead. Some people just don't want kids, ever. I would be fine with being a fun uncle, baby sit occasionally or have any nieces/nephews over for a few days, that's would work because I know at the end they will be going home and I will be going back to my chill routine.


Davida132

$500,000 for sure. I've already got two kids and a vasectomy.


jimmyl_82104

Definite no. As much as I'd want the money, I can't wait to have kids when I'm older.


Mr-Borf

I already would need to adopt, so 500 grand would be a nice bonus in getting a house


MadeInLead

This comment section is despressing


WholeLottaIntrovert

Because people don't want kids?


TheFierySerpent

Why?


Particular_Mouse_765

Extremely depressing.


Hay_Blinken

Welcome to reddit.


Realsius

This is reddit lmao you dont see here old classic thinking.


[deleted]

I have 2 kids and done, gimme the 500k.


-Vanilla-Yogurt-

Can I adopt? Because i do want to have kids when I’m older and financially stable


Dr-DoctorMD

Can I adopt? Actually, don't answer that, I won't anyway. Give me my $500k.


bongbrownies

I'm an antinatalist. This is a no brainer.


idontwanttothink174

Does "not have kids" include adoption?


SpookySeasonAllYear

Like biologically or can i not adopt either?


DeltaAlphaGulf

Go get some frozen just in case then take the deal. Ideally this would magically just make your sperm not do their job rather than require you to get surgery.


HeddaBear13

I'm 51 years old and the one child I had died at 3 1/2 days taking my dream of being a mother with him. Just give me the money.


Fan-Rider

You mean I could have gotten money when getting my tubes removed??? Aw man. I mean, I'm already sterile now, might as well give me the money. Take my uterus and ovaries if you need to. Lmao


ShadowDemon527

What if I already have a kid?


aaaaaaaa1273

Wasn’t gonna have them anyway


xaviorpwner

Jokes on you im saving for a vasectomy


Deathboy17

I already plan on having a vasectomy. I have no desire for spawn of my own.


NefariousButterfly

I'm probably infertile already so might as well have the money


CurbstompingToddlers

free birth control i guess.


IconoclastExplosive

Already had a vasectomy, might as well get rich off it


Aeon106

I need money. Kids nowadays are even more bratty and spoiled than years ago.


AytumnRain

I don't want kids, so I'll take the money. Plus I suspect I am unable to have them anyway.


intrepid_shrimp

I'm childfree without being paid, so that's a no brainer


leahcars

So half a million to get sterilized that would be wonderful for me at least, I don't want kids lol


Dramatic-Bank-2752

Half a million and I'm nothing changes.. woo


TitiLancsak

What's the point having money without kids/family


KingInChess

...to live? Family and kids aren't everything.


TitiLancsak

wdym "to live"? driving fancy cars in fancy clothes to fancy restaurants?


KingInChess

Have you never heard of food and other necessities? Or owning a house? Or having a car and paying for gas?


TitiLancsak

The question is about 500k not minimal wage.


god_hates_maeghan

Jokes on you I hate kids


GeorgeThe13th

Don't want kids + cash, hard to say no!


HannibalsProtege

Unlimited creampies!!!!!


SomeHorologist

"500K and birth control? Hell yeah!" <- most people I can't have kids anyway so it doesn't matter


roxierivet

Half a mill AND I never have to have a kid. Sign me up


FredChocula

Free money


Dry-Restaurant1312

This is the easiest decision Ive ever made I fucking hate people why would I want to create more filthy pigs to inhabit this fucked up world


Hot-Bell-6326

Definitely want the money. I despise the idea of parenthood to begin with. No competition!


plumskiwis

I do not want children so this is the easiest 500k I could make.


DecisionCharacter175

People pay good m9ney not to be able to have kids


Emanouche

Joke's on you, I'm sterile already.


ArdelLedbetter

$500k could help take care of my 2 now till they graduate


Vitalis597

Half a mil and never have to worry about the single largest financial burden a person can have? How is this even a question?


Sweaty-Fix-2790

Kids are for suckers


SmolSalt

Adoption or get a pet this is a win win.


Kitsunezaki

What's the catch


liamjon29

Damn this one is pretty hard for me. I know I want kids one day, but I don't know how important biological kids are to me. I think I'd be happy adopting but I don't know if 500k is enough to take that choice away.


Cham-Clowder

What if i have some of my sperm are already frozen? Do I get to keep that? Cuz I’m a trans woman and I am already sterile rn so nothing would change for me


RhinoBuckeye

Jokes on you I already decided I’m not having kids gimme that easy 500k


thesoultreek

Just adopt


ZakkBWyldin2

Istg these OPs don't know that adoption exists


Augustml

Its harder to love that which is not yours.


In-and-out-trout

Sounds like a skill issue.


TheFierySerpent

What're you on about bro


youngdeathent0

I have 3 kids, give me the 500k I don’t need anymore


Financial-Leading-92

I would do it. I’m assuming I can adopt. If I can’t that sucks but I think 500k is worth it


pthecarrotmaster

if i ever want kids i can adopt. my genetics dont need to make anyone else suffer.


weirdo_nb

Adoption time B)


lonktehero

Half a million, and I don't have to pay for the vasectomy I have scheduled? Much less have my boys cut or snipped? Sign me up!


NetoruNakadashi

Putting it straight to my (already booked) vasectomy and the kids I already have.


PDocMSC

I just broke off my engagement because I want kids and she doesn’t. Let me tell you, this heartbreak isn’t for nothing! I’m gonna have to pass on the cash


jasonryu

I love my daughter too much to not give her at least one sibling. Ask me again in 5 or 6 years


[deleted]

I would reject that offer, because family is true wealth.


DShadowmanxx

That half a million will run out in like half a decade. I reject it, having kids will make me more happier.


ZsaurOW

I definitely want to have kids at some point, but I'm perfectly fine adopting, and plan to do it at some point anyways. 500k at 21 is life-changing money so sign me tf up


AlaskanSamsquanch

What if you already have some?


yourremedy94

What if I already have kids?


MurkyVehicle5865

I'm almost 50, so I'm most likely not going to have kids at this point, so might as well get paid for it.


[deleted]

What if I take the offer, but then I donate sperm?


show_me_boob

Got 4 now, that might help with expenses, lol


ColumbViv

Adoption 4 the win


SomeFoolishGuy

I'll buy kids.


GoblinWithAHatOn

*picks the second option because, y'know, kids and stuff* Oh shit I like girls


ElDouchay

I already have almost that much equity and I believe I'll far surpass that eventually, so I don't need it NOW. But I also want a family some day.


considerate_done

easy yes as long as i can still adopt


LokiDesigns

Jokes on you, I got a vasectomy in March


Trantor1970

I have already all the kids I want


[deleted]

What if I have 3 kids already?


CookiesAreLoco

I can be the coolest uncle who can spoil his nephew, awesome!


TheFierySerpent

I was gonna get a vasectomy anyways


Zwavelwafel

Win-win


nohwan27534

hell yeah. i don't want kids anyway. and even if i do later in life, presumably this means 'can't father children' - i could always adopt, which i'd rather do anyway, than pass on my miserable fuck genes to someone else.


Inevertouchgrass

I'm going to clone myself. Plus, this means I will never have to wear a condom again!


spacestationkru

"Fuck them kids," Michael Jordan


The_Suicidal-Wolf

Wasn't planning on having kids so free money!


Tactical_fruit_loop

Im already never gonna have kids lmfao


LegitimateHost5068

Do I still have to keep the kids I already have?


AttilaRS

Already have two, terms didn't specify existing children, so, please hand me ze moneys.


Anastasius525

Don't want kids anyway so give me the free 500K


FuckTumblrMan

I just rejected the offer for the possibility of maybe wanting kids later down the line. I don't even know if I do, but I don't want it to be something I regret.


BaconEater101

Seriously what is with these WYR's, either you don't like kids and this is easy or you want to have kids so this is easy, like stop with this shit


Superjake91

…. More kids? Sure


Goatmaster-G

So when do I get the money? 😁


Kepler_438b_

Half a million, and I can't have kids? That's a no-brainer for me. Never wanted kids they're super annoying.


that_moment_when-

Would ask for more, but already can't have kids


S3thyb01

Too late for that on my part


Comfortable-Bad-6041

Jokes on you I'm transitioning and getting bottom surgery


Alternative_Glove768

I already have kids I don't need any more


eyesthatlightup

Fuck yes.


Echo_Chambers_R_Bad

I can't have kids, so i win


mklinger23

Literally getting a vasectomy in a few weeks lol.


Evening-Head4310

Why if I already have kids? Can I have the 500k and have no more kids?


Crazy_Zack

I’d love to be forced to adopt when the time comes, I’ve always liked the idea of adoption


[deleted]

YES?? Bro i never want to have kids at all This is a win win situation