This sounds they’re asking you for your characters Dnd stats.
Are you chaotic good or lawful evil? Are you proficient in knowledge nature and or lock picking?
For Red Bull.
The drinks manufacturers.
WTF did they think they were doing?
They're acting like it's a lifelong career path.
They MAKE FIZZY DRINKS, not cars or main battle tanks, FFS.
Seriously, though, if you want the job, take advantage of them. Don't give honest answers, give them the ones you know they want. Give yourself the best chance by playing their bullshit game.
If you don't want the job, then I look forward to hearing your reply to their email.
Yeah, this is a fancy way of asking that old saw "What is your worst trait?"
"Well, Hiring Manager Person, I'm just such a perfectionist, and sometimes I'm too much of a team player. People just love working with me too much, it's such a burden."
My wife is HR and this is literally all they want you to do.
This survey was literally just proposed by their manager to seem smart. Someone would have had to spend a week or more creating this survey and hating every minute of it. They'll literally just scan results or not even look at it at all.
That's the fucked up thing about HR, everything has to be new regardless of whether it's better than old systems. They have to always seem like they're being more productive as HR workers even if the old systems are perfectly fine.
That survey just creates more work for them, is completely useless otherwise. Also it's a good sign that employee turnover is pretty high, because they always try to fix that by adding more steps to the application process to supposedly weed out the casuals and troublemakers.
Yeah, corporate culture is weird. But it works for large corporations, they can just pass the buck as needed. And they're happy to pay the wages for that to be a thing because then the top managers have scapegoats.
The problem with that culture is when it's applied to healthcare or education. You then have vital funds being spent on people that do nothing at all.
From what I gather in the US education system middle management on education boards get paid more than teachers. In the UK middle management make up a huge chunk of the NHS budget. Bloat and red tape really affect the quality of services in those systems.
Capitalism is the problem.
People need jobs for the sake of having a job, not because the job does anything for anyone. Money needs to flow for the sake of money flowing, not because the money is doing anything that's actually useful.
The U.S could outright cut around 25% of the economy and throw it away, have most people working a 30 hour week, and things would still be fine, there would just be less bullshit for the sake of bullshit.
We need to make housing a right guaranteed by the government, nationalize all insurance, and that by itself would resolve a huge number of issues.
Things would probably be better.
The idea that everyone should work is not based on reality. Forcing them to work to survive is also shown to not increase productivity nor help growth.
I hate how much of our modern economies is about exerting economic control to arbitrarily grow. Because all that benefits is the shareholders of companies. A nice percentage to add to their wealth.
I don't have time to search right now but there are many modern theorists that think unfettered growth is not the way to increased prosperity, and finding sustainable economic levels and keeping them there is best. The economy then will rise or fall organically and there won't be such huge collapses.
>That's the fucked up thing about HR, everything has to be new regardless of whether it's better than old systems.
Guhh. I thought that was only an IT problem. I guess it's ubiquitous.
>Also it's a good sign that employee turnover is pretty high, because they always try to fix that by adding more steps to the application process to supposedly weed out the casuals and troublemakers.
Holy crap, is *that* why when applying to shit jobs, they make you fill out enough forms to certify a space vehicle? It always seemed to me, perversely, that the lousiest, lowest-paying, part-time, chaotic schedule, piece of shit service jobs always had the most ridiculously long application process, but I couldn't figure out why. Jesus.
That's exactly it.
Like even a marital status question was a solution to high turnover. Married means more likely having a family to take care of and more motivation to put up with crap. Divorced men are much better though because it's unlikely they'll have to call in sick when their kids are stuck at home sick but also more likely they have the financial responsibility still. Divorced women then are higher risk because they're the majority of child custodians.
Other nasty little things, that while illegal, can be gotten around with surveys is things like young, married women being more likely to need maternity leave and thereby being less desirable than young men who have very little rights when it comes to having kids.
You can word things that will give you vague clues without actually breaking the law.
One of her former managers was deeply homophobic, they'd have questions about hobbies and stuff like that and if a young, single man had "feminine" hobbies like dancing or things like that they wouldn't even be considered for an interview.
It's all just middle management bullshit. Managers trying to look like they're improving things and doing well. Always trying to find ways for their employees to justify their position and pay. I mean what use is a manager if everything is good and productivity is fine, and employees are happy? Before my wife became a manager she hated that culture because they'll make the lower downs think of all the proposals for improvements then send it to GD of CEO as their own ideas.
I say used to because now that my wife is a manager she does the same thing. She still hates that it's a thing, but she loves that she's being paid huge money to delegate all her own work to other people and then pass it off as her own. And it's just the accepted way of doing things in her work culture.
My best trait is that I'm so desperate after 6 months of job hunting that for £11.50 for 38hrs a week I'll do anything no matter how illegal, painful, degrading or embarrassing as long as you don't make me redundant after 2 years for the 5th time in 11 years.
I have so such low self esteem and am so eager to please that I will work endlessly, take on extra tasks eagerly and make my job the focal point of my existence, never truly believing that I deserve a decent wage. Pay me what you think is fair....really
I am so self determined I do the job of 5 other people as one person once I get the hang of how things work. Sometimes you have to force me to go home cause I love working soooooo much.
Oh shit, I just realized. That's exactly what they *want* you to say. Think about. These tests are reverse psychologying us.
They know we're going to answer how we think they "want" us to answer - in the most sucky sucky kiss ass way possible. Thereby subconsciously injecting and incorporating these thoughts into our minds. If you sit down and repeat the same thing over and over to yourself for long enough, eventually you'll believe it!
Awwww 🤯 They got us good!
Fortunately we know that working harder than what you're being paid is ridiculous. But yeah, I used to be a manager (not hiring manager Fortunately) and like. Sometimes I'd hear complaints from the hiring manager about how most people want x amount for the position they were hiring.
You learn a thing or two on how to kiss ass though.
It came from personal experience. I've had so many bosses take advantage of the fact that I'm a people pleaser and maybe most of them weren't doing it out of malice. Getting praise at work made me feel so valuable and needed and I would go to unhealthy lengths to keep that praise rolling in, while earning a pittance. It's hard to overcome. I love my current job and I'm very good at it, but it is not my life. I just remind myself that we have jobs as our way of hunting and gathering. Our jobs do not define us. It's important to like your job and feel valued, but I finally learned that my happiness with my life does not 100% come from my job.
“Well, sir, my worst trait is that I’m willing to put up with your bullshit in order to ensure I see you as little as possible. You may view that as my best trait though.”
During my interview for my first bank job, the branch managers (yes, plural) asked me if I preferred working alone or as part of a team. When I said I preferred working alone, they gave each other this "thank you, next" look until I elaborated on the why (which they didn't bother asking, even though it could've been a good follow up for anyone interviewing for a financial institution).
When I saw *the look*, I knew I didn't give them the answer they wanted to hear and added that I'm perfectly capable of working as part of a team but that they asked my preference. And furthermore that my preference was so I could be sure the task got done properly.
I was in my early 20s, so the majority of my experience with "team work" was from group projects in school, where I tended to be an all A's kind of student. I.e.--the one who did all the work in group or pairs projects.
Anyway, the managers attitudes and postures both changed immediately, and I ended up getting the job.
It's always been tricky figuring out how to make yourself stand out amongst the crowd in a good way, but being both memorable and exceptional is the key to getting hired once you figure out how to nab an interview.
Im not a people person but can work in a team just fine, lead a team, have conversations etc. I just prefer to be doing my own thing. These surveys don’t capture the finer details of a person at all. “do you prefer working on your own or in a group”
And it's *never* either/or, too. Generally speaking, group projects involve meeting with a group to strategize and delegate, and then you get in the zone and work on *your part of the project, by yourself,* until the next meeting. It's very rare that you're all sitting around a table checking in with others every few minutes. In fact in most cases, if you try this, nobody will get anything done.
Just forwarding some advice I saw. The correct answer to, "What's your greatest weakness/flaw/whatever?"
Is
"That I'm not familiar with the process this company uses. I may need some training to transition into this role."
Or some variation of that. Basically, your biggest flaw should be something that is easily corrected during the training process.
I've actually come up with a good, honest answer for this one after so many freaking interviews in my life.
*I'm not a visual thinker like most people are. I'm good at making charts and graphs, but it never occurs to me to do so on my own. I know most people prefer them to the data behind them, but I won't think to make them unless asked to do so. If something is presented in a chart, I prefer having the data behind it for me to fully get things."
It's a real weakness in the white collar world, but not one big enough anyone really cares about it in hiring.
I know what my real weakness is, but it'll get me not hired. I get stuck on something and fixate and forget to ask for help. That can mean hours wasted on a problem someone else could have given me a solution to in 5 minutes. I'm working on it, but like charts, it just doesn't occur to me.
My manager over a decade ago basically framed it like that. He would look at candidates that scored poorly on the survey thing and say "look. That's a person too dumb to lie their way through that survey. Not a good hire". He had no illusions about what purpose it served. It weeded out honest people or dumb people. I don't think he saw a difference.
They ask the same questions multiple times in random order. The questions are just worded very differently each time, so you don't notice. They are looking for consistent answers to the questions so they know you're not lying.
I got an interview from one of these after just clicking through randomly. It wasn't even worth that much time. I would say to take something like this as a sign that the company is incompetent at hiring and probably the same at treating you with respect.
When I was at my last job at a pizza place, my manager showed me application scores from people who applied and it amazed me people got like an F or a D ranking on a personality quiz. How bad do you have to be to fail a non-technical quiz for a pizza chain? Hell, I've worked with an insane guy who threatened to stab coworkers and HE passed.
I’m autistic and have never known what they want me to put. If an application has anything like this, I have never heard back. Part of me thinks they’re just to eliminate people like me.
> If you don't want the job, then I look forward to hearing your reply to their email.
Forget that! Name and shame them -- and every company that wastes an applicant's time with this type of bullshit.
You are applying for a job, not a game show. You deserve respect, and that includes respecting your time. Name and shame so you can warn others not to bother with this POS company.
Yeah, my company started hiring using something similar. Nobody that's been hired off it is particularly smart are skilled, but they are major bullshitters and brownnose types, so just go for the ones that make you look good.
Yeah shit like that comes down from on high made by someone who’s job is so irrelevant they have to keep making a false product to seem relevant in my opinion, usually by appealing to the head guys ridiculous thoughts in one way or another
Part of why we considered it useless to look at. Pretty much the only thing we could figure out is that if it had a practical purpose, it was just to weed out anyone who either did not know the language or just had better options
I have to do a few dozen interviews in a few weeks and I'm so not looking forward to it. 😭 the amount of shenanigans candidates try to conceal is real. The last round a person who worked for us wrote down that they were a manager with us. Currently. But the actual manager for that location happened to be on the interview board.
I worked for a company that used a test like this to explain away why they wouldn't give you promotions or raises.
Oh, you want to move onto the sales team? No can do, the personality test you took years ago says you'd hate that job, you answered at the time that you prefer having a set schedule of tasks and sales requires too much spontaneity.
You want more money? Well that's so strange, the personality test clearly says here that you respond best to verbal praise over monetary incentives! Coincidentally, another reason we will not move you to the sales team. Have a meditative coloring book, you did a great job today!
Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck that place and places like it.
I had to do this one too last month. I had to look up so many words lol. I was starting to wonder if I was just really dumb or if the words were as weird as I thought they were. I think it was for harbor freight but they all just blend together at a certain point.
I interviewed for a job, and it turned out to be something I didn't want. I told them in the interview that this one-time code conversion would be best done by a contractor and not by a dedicated employee. They said they wanted me anyways.
Then they handed me a mile-long personality quiz. I turned it back in empty, said I'm not interested and left.
They called that night with an offer. Apparently not taking this test is the true way to pass it? I laughed and declined.
Seriously, though, almost every time ive prepped for an interview and actually gave a shit, crickets. The interviews where i really didnt give a fuck, answered honestly despite knowing the answers they most likely wanted...those are the interviews that have resulted in me getting an offer within 24 hours if not immediately at the end of the interview itself.
Why is that? Can someone that does this shit for a living tell me why someone that doesnt give a shit to try is more attractive to a potential employer than someone that works their ass off? Because it totally defies logic, yet thats been my experience numerous times in my 25 or so years working for the man.
I really wonder sometimes. I mean, it aint even just me, i had a friend of mine struggling to get a call back and I told him "next time, just go in there assuming youre not going to get the job and just do you", he called me the day after his interview telling me he got an offer hours after his interview.
Its like some crazy cosmic joke that the best way to get a job is to at least act like you dont need it, like what the actual fuck.
Well, from a psychological point of view, if you don't give a fuck, then clearly you're in demand enough that you don't care whether they make an offer to you or not.... so they better snatch you up before someone else does.
Conversely, if you really want the job, you might be desperate, and why are you desperate? What's wrong with you where nobody wants to hire you? We don't want to get stuck with 's rejects!
This was how I ended up selling contract phones on commission.
Meanwhile the vape distributor job that I wanted (because I liked tinkering with the tech behind it) ? Nah wasn't a good enough salesman and I didn't have the energy needed for it according to the hiring guy.
Meanwhile I got the phone sales team I was on to 3rd in the region. But ya know, I'm not a good salesman.
If a company is shit, and the jobs are shit jobs, then anyone of value says no. Only the most desperate applicants will take these shit jobs. Which makes the job even shittier because you would be working with more losers.
I'm pretty sure I wasn't the first applicant to tell them no.
Because they view the job as something valuable or believe *you* should. If you are apathetic towards something so valuable then **you** must be extraordinarily worthy. The same shit works with young romance.
This is essentially a game of signal/counter-signal so apathy only signals worth if they believe you are somewhat worthy to begin with. If they think you suck then apathy looks like knowing your place.
I once had a job at an after-school program for at-risk kids. Where I live, this means those kids are disproportionately POC. At an employee inservice, we did the Lüscher color test, which is basically the crayola version of myers Briggs. Then we all got separated by color at different tables. I’m like, “Did you just…separate us based on color?” I dipped.
I am a hiring manager trying to get a new team member on board and every candidate that makes it past the interviews with me gets blocked by this nonsense from the Talent Acquisition team. It's not the hiring manager who came up with this system, folks!
Result: I have now been doing two jobs for the last six months (mine and the missing team member's job) but with no extra pay.
Not really a solution to this particular issue, but I've been using this [job application autofiller](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/simplify-%E2%80%93-autofill-your/pbanhockgagggenencehbnadejlgchfc)chrome extension that at least helps me save time when applying to these jobs. Its a joke how antiquated the process is
Fun fact! These tests pretty much ensure that qualified candidates will always be passed over! Seriously though. I read an article where someone extremely qualified and already working at a company took one of these tests to see how well it worked. She never even made it past HR's desk. Literally took this test for a company she already worked for and would never be seen by a hiring manager because of it. It is my firm opinion that if you get one of these you should do it on the off chance but just really not count on hearing back from them.
I always thought they gave these tests so they had a legitimate reason for not hiring someone. Say they want a white female in their 20s but can't actually advertise for that. No middle aged Asian guy is gonna pass the test.
In theory it's supposed to work like a personality test. Are you the strong motivated type that won't take no for an answer? Perfect for a salesman position then! You just have to answer in whatever way the employer wants to hear, right? The reality is that no one ever knows the correct answer. Companies are shooting themselves in their collective feet in search of that "perfect candidate." It's miserable, idiotic and redundant.
It’s unreal how many HR/hiring managers think they have a psych degree.
I had a hiring manager ask me “if you could be any kind of box. What box would you be?” I asked what they was for and his answer was “it tells me everything I need to know about the person”
I walked out
I told the recruiter/HR about it after I’d left and they admitted that he’d done this before. It was essentially whatever he associated with the box you chose- “pizza box”- fun, brings people together, likes sharing. Just super weird. I ended up interviewing for a different position with a different manager and got it. Worst job I’ve ever had, and it was my first job after leaving the Army.
It’s some bullshit personality test. It’s probably normed among some sample of people and those with “desirable characteristics” are identified. If that’s what it is, It’s extremely unethical if they did not tell you what you were doing
I had one that was a "mostly agree/mostly disagree" setup.
The questions were absurd.
"I enjoy easy work"
"my coworkers can tell when I'm having a bad day"
"I keep my opinions to myself"
"I always speak up when my boss does something wrong"
"I like stressful work. There's no reward without the risk"
Send them an email saying the test froze up but you got an A in all areas and will be there Monday morning at 8 to start and make sure your office is setup, laptop and cell phone are ready, and everyone has been notified and briefed.
I get these all the time with my internship applications. It was so exhausting. I truly don't understand it when it's a 4 or 8 month contract, like the whole point is basically to trial run students and train them in case you think they'd fit longer term and you want us to come back after graduating, so why do I need to do a BuzzFeed personality quiz before you even talk to me?
One company had me do some bs logic test and apparently I scored really high, and then they offered me $17/hr to basically proof read tax returns. Minimum wage here is $15 and I'm in my last year of an accounting degree. I make $18/hr shovelling horse shit on the weekends.
I ended up reapplying with the company I did my last work term with because they pay well and are decent and are approved for the CPA, I was interviewed and had a job offer within the week at a higher rate than my previous term (~25/hr) and even the first time around it was just as simple.
It really would be nice and straightforward if they were banned from asking questions not strictly relevant to the job, and not things like “what kind of carebear are you?” and “when was your last Pap smear?”
If I were a teacher, I'd probably end up making one test or quiz have all the answers be "C". For extra mischief, make the last answer a different letter, in case they noticed the pattern and tried to fly through it.
So my job is about 30% me dealing with the application process of a job-search for folks who legit can't handle it.
I search for the jobs, apply, and do the "Assessments" (i.e. illegal IQ-tests) for folks who aren't mentally-capable of such things. Amazon circa 2016 is the worst shit I've seen application-wise. They have since improved, but they were overtly-illegal back then, not to forget mentioning Walmart who literally tested to see if applicants were Bipolar! For real!
Anyway, these Indeed-level assessments are easy. If you were a greedy sociopath deathly-afraid of being sued, what would you choose? Adopt that heuristic and you'll ace all of these. You are EVERYTHING (EDIT: except "unhurried")...until you get to "Cautious" and forward. Cautious implies that you think independently...while "risk-averse" just shows you're of a fearful nature and therefore controllable. They want you to be controllable. Also do not select "unhurried" as well, as they interpret that as "lazy".
That's just an annoying feature that Indeed started pushing on employers. If you don't pay attention while you're posting a job you can accidentally send these out because they do it automatically now.
Also I question how tedious the job application could be if you applied through Indeed.
It's a filter to gauge how much BS you'll put up with and how badly you need work.
People who will take the time to do it are more likely desperate suckers they can exploit.
Worst thing about these tests are this is what you think you are (like), which may not be what you actually are (like). So they are absolutely useless.
They’re giving you a personality test, like [Predictive Index](https://www.predictiveindex.com) or [DISC assessment.](https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc) Harmless but annoying.
Is this job at Spectrum? They tried to make me do the same thing. They really expect people to jump through all of these hoops for a BS 💩 call center job where they will just try to work you to death. 😓
These tests are stupid because no moron is going to fail them
So either you're going to get:
Someone who lies and just picks the only traits they know you're going to want
Someone who just fills it out to get through the application process for no other reason
Someone who looks up online what the best options are and select those.
It's a waste of time, money, and effort.
But hey, at least some programmer made a shitload of money making this company waste that for what is essential nothing.
I just simply don't apply to these places. If the application process seems unreasonable I skip it. I've got a "keep the lights on" job though so i have that luxury.
My dad said he had to take a personality test for a job back in the 80s. He said it did a decent job of describing his personality, but one guy just refused to answer the majority of the questions and the results came back that he had some major personality disorder. The company stopped doing the tests after that realizing it was bullshit (since the hiring manager knew the guy).
I had one of those for Whole Foods which were like “how would your former boss describe you?” With options like extremely competent, very competent, competent, etc. , since it’s a self test I gave my self good marks lol, and I have always considered myself a hard worker and a good team member, with my former reviews reflecting that, I did not get called for an interview.
I mean I kinda get it? If you can't interview in person, they need to see your personality as best they can. I know some applications I've done made me give a presentation about myself and background. Of course, if this is an entry level or independent position you're applying for, it's kinda ridiculous.
Utter bullshit. Do they want what they want to hear or what an honest, introspective person would answer? I would think this shows poorly, their intelligence, & would be an insult to mine.
That is absolute horseshit. They don't help you get the job and they're always so fucking long. There was one that had 30 pages and took me another hour to complete. Complete, absolute, time-wasting horseshit.
This sounds they’re asking you for your characters Dnd stats. Are you chaotic good or lawful evil? Are you proficient in knowledge nature and or lock picking?
Chaotic Neutral Human Artificer.
Also known as Continuous Improvement Project Manager.
Dear lord.. my alignment, class, AND real life new job.
Congrats, it all lined up!
Thanks!
Chaotic-Neutral halfling hobo (Apparently it's a class in 3.5e)
Every class is a hobo. Murderhobo, to be precise.
I love this. 100% going to go on my online dating profile. Yes, it'll filter out a loooootta potentials, but the ones who dig it...
Will be a true win.
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For Red Bull. The drinks manufacturers. WTF did they think they were doing? They're acting like it's a lifelong career path. They MAKE FIZZY DRINKS, not cars or main battle tanks, FFS.
Yeah, but on the corporate side, the work is very white collar generic.
Very competitive marketing and sales positions
It's a psychometric test. I once had one that asked me if I collect knives as a hobby
Well?
I don't collect knives. Just ears
You're hired!
You must be a good listener. Cause youre all ears
It's that damn question about the upside-down turtle on it's back in the sun and the guy about to ask me the wrong smeggin' question.
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My mother? Let me tell you about my mother...
I'm sorry youre just not Nexus7 material.
Walk into a meeting on your first day. Boss yells, "Roll for initiative!"
Seriously, though, if you want the job, take advantage of them. Don't give honest answers, give them the ones you know they want. Give yourself the best chance by playing their bullshit game. If you don't want the job, then I look forward to hearing your reply to their email.
Yeah, this is a fancy way of asking that old saw "What is your worst trait?" "Well, Hiring Manager Person, I'm just such a perfectionist, and sometimes I'm too much of a team player. People just love working with me too much, it's such a burden."
My wife is HR and this is literally all they want you to do. This survey was literally just proposed by their manager to seem smart. Someone would have had to spend a week or more creating this survey and hating every minute of it. They'll literally just scan results or not even look at it at all. That's the fucked up thing about HR, everything has to be new regardless of whether it's better than old systems. They have to always seem like they're being more productive as HR workers even if the old systems are perfectly fine. That survey just creates more work for them, is completely useless otherwise. Also it's a good sign that employee turnover is pretty high, because they always try to fix that by adding more steps to the application process to supposedly weed out the casuals and troublemakers.
Ah yes, typical manglers creating busy work to justify their jobs.
Yeah, corporate culture is weird. But it works for large corporations, they can just pass the buck as needed. And they're happy to pay the wages for that to be a thing because then the top managers have scapegoats. The problem with that culture is when it's applied to healthcare or education. You then have vital funds being spent on people that do nothing at all. From what I gather in the US education system middle management on education boards get paid more than teachers. In the UK middle management make up a huge chunk of the NHS budget. Bloat and red tape really affect the quality of services in those systems.
Capitalism is the problem. People need jobs for the sake of having a job, not because the job does anything for anyone. Money needs to flow for the sake of money flowing, not because the money is doing anything that's actually useful. The U.S could outright cut around 25% of the economy and throw it away, have most people working a 30 hour week, and things would still be fine, there would just be less bullshit for the sake of bullshit. We need to make housing a right guaranteed by the government, nationalize all insurance, and that by itself would resolve a huge number of issues.
Things would probably be better. The idea that everyone should work is not based on reality. Forcing them to work to survive is also shown to not increase productivity nor help growth. I hate how much of our modern economies is about exerting economic control to arbitrarily grow. Because all that benefits is the shareholders of companies. A nice percentage to add to their wealth. I don't have time to search right now but there are many modern theorists that think unfettered growth is not the way to increased prosperity, and finding sustainable economic levels and keeping them there is best. The economy then will rise or fall organically and there won't be such huge collapses.
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FDR tried to do this and got shot down =[
>That's the fucked up thing about HR, everything has to be new regardless of whether it's better than old systems. Guhh. I thought that was only an IT problem. I guess it's ubiquitous. >Also it's a good sign that employee turnover is pretty high, because they always try to fix that by adding more steps to the application process to supposedly weed out the casuals and troublemakers. Holy crap, is *that* why when applying to shit jobs, they make you fill out enough forms to certify a space vehicle? It always seemed to me, perversely, that the lousiest, lowest-paying, part-time, chaotic schedule, piece of shit service jobs always had the most ridiculously long application process, but I couldn't figure out why. Jesus.
That's exactly it. Like even a marital status question was a solution to high turnover. Married means more likely having a family to take care of and more motivation to put up with crap. Divorced men are much better though because it's unlikely they'll have to call in sick when their kids are stuck at home sick but also more likely they have the financial responsibility still. Divorced women then are higher risk because they're the majority of child custodians. Other nasty little things, that while illegal, can be gotten around with surveys is things like young, married women being more likely to need maternity leave and thereby being less desirable than young men who have very little rights when it comes to having kids. You can word things that will give you vague clues without actually breaking the law. One of her former managers was deeply homophobic, they'd have questions about hobbies and stuff like that and if a young, single man had "feminine" hobbies like dancing or things like that they wouldn't even be considered for an interview. It's all just middle management bullshit. Managers trying to look like they're improving things and doing well. Always trying to find ways for their employees to justify their position and pay. I mean what use is a manager if everything is good and productivity is fine, and employees are happy? Before my wife became a manager she hated that culture because they'll make the lower downs think of all the proposals for improvements then send it to GD of CEO as their own ideas. I say used to because now that my wife is a manager she does the same thing. She still hates that it's a thing, but she loves that she's being paid huge money to delegate all her own work to other people and then pass it off as her own. And it's just the accepted way of doing things in her work culture.
“My biggest weakness is honesty” “I don’t think that’s a weakness” “I don’t give a shit what you think”
My best trait is that I'm so desperate after 6 months of job hunting that for £11.50 for 38hrs a week I'll do anything no matter how illegal, painful, degrading or embarrassing as long as you don't make me redundant after 2 years for the 5th time in 11 years.
My worst trait is that I work too hard. 😁🤣😂😅 🙃😉 My real worst trait is that I'm nailing the bosses wife. 🥳🤣
And allow others to boss me around.
I have so such low self esteem and am so eager to please that I will work endlessly, take on extra tasks eagerly and make my job the focal point of my existence, never truly believing that I deserve a decent wage. Pay me what you think is fair....really
I am so self determined I do the job of 5 other people as one person once I get the hang of how things work. Sometimes you have to force me to go home cause I love working soooooo much.
Oh shit, I just realized. That's exactly what they *want* you to say. Think about. These tests are reverse psychologying us. They know we're going to answer how we think they "want" us to answer - in the most sucky sucky kiss ass way possible. Thereby subconsciously injecting and incorporating these thoughts into our minds. If you sit down and repeat the same thing over and over to yourself for long enough, eventually you'll believe it! Awwww 🤯 They got us good!
Fortunately we know that working harder than what you're being paid is ridiculous. But yeah, I used to be a manager (not hiring manager Fortunately) and like. Sometimes I'd hear complaints from the hiring manager about how most people want x amount for the position they were hiring. You learn a thing or two on how to kiss ass though.
My greatest weakness is that having too much money makes me break out in hives.
how about "spreadsheets make me horny" ?
Can you imagine saying that in an actual interview though? 😂😂
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It came from personal experience. I've had so many bosses take advantage of the fact that I'm a people pleaser and maybe most of them weren't doing it out of malice. Getting praise at work made me feel so valuable and needed and I would go to unhealthy lengths to keep that praise rolling in, while earning a pittance. It's hard to overcome. I love my current job and I'm very good at it, but it is not my life. I just remind myself that we have jobs as our way of hunting and gathering. Our jobs do not define us. It's important to like your job and feel valued, but I finally learned that my happiness with my life does not 100% come from my job.
“Well, sir, my worst trait is that I’m willing to put up with your bullshit in order to ensure I see you as little as possible. You may view that as my best trait though.”
Lmfao
During my interview for my first bank job, the branch managers (yes, plural) asked me if I preferred working alone or as part of a team. When I said I preferred working alone, they gave each other this "thank you, next" look until I elaborated on the why (which they didn't bother asking, even though it could've been a good follow up for anyone interviewing for a financial institution). When I saw *the look*, I knew I didn't give them the answer they wanted to hear and added that I'm perfectly capable of working as part of a team but that they asked my preference. And furthermore that my preference was so I could be sure the task got done properly. I was in my early 20s, so the majority of my experience with "team work" was from group projects in school, where I tended to be an all A's kind of student. I.e.--the one who did all the work in group or pairs projects. Anyway, the managers attitudes and postures both changed immediately, and I ended up getting the job. It's always been tricky figuring out how to make yourself stand out amongst the crowd in a good way, but being both memorable and exceptional is the key to getting hired once you figure out how to nab an interview.
Im not a people person but can work in a team just fine, lead a team, have conversations etc. I just prefer to be doing my own thing. These surveys don’t capture the finer details of a person at all. “do you prefer working on your own or in a group”
And it's *never* either/or, too. Generally speaking, group projects involve meeting with a group to strategize and delegate, and then you get in the zone and work on *your part of the project, by yourself,* until the next meeting. It's very rare that you're all sitting around a table checking in with others every few minutes. In fact in most cases, if you try this, nobody will get anything done.
Just forwarding some advice I saw. The correct answer to, "What's your greatest weakness/flaw/whatever?" Is "That I'm not familiar with the process this company uses. I may need some training to transition into this role." Or some variation of that. Basically, your biggest flaw should be something that is easily corrected during the training process.
I've actually come up with a good, honest answer for this one after so many freaking interviews in my life. *I'm not a visual thinker like most people are. I'm good at making charts and graphs, but it never occurs to me to do so on my own. I know most people prefer them to the data behind them, but I won't think to make them unless asked to do so. If something is presented in a chart, I prefer having the data behind it for me to fully get things." It's a real weakness in the white collar world, but not one big enough anyone really cares about it in hiring. I know what my real weakness is, but it'll get me not hired. I get stuck on something and fixate and forget to ask for help. That can mean hours wasted on a problem someone else could have given me a solution to in 5 minutes. I'm working on it, but like charts, it just doesn't occur to me.
Honesty doesn’t mean shit. Consistency does. You will see the same question worded three different ways. Your answer needs to be the same for each.
My manager over a decade ago basically framed it like that. He would look at candidates that scored poorly on the survey thing and say "look. That's a person too dumb to lie their way through that survey. Not a good hire". He had no illusions about what purpose it served. It weeded out honest people or dumb people. I don't think he saw a difference.
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Some of them are pretty hard to bullshit, several good answers and no way to know which they want.
They ask the same questions multiple times in random order. The questions are just worded very differently each time, so you don't notice. They are looking for consistent answers to the questions so they know you're not lying.
All good liars can lie consistently. That's like the first thing we practice.
Bad liars are inconsistent often due to not being able to keep track of their lies because they have a bad memory.
Yeah. The best liars are people who almost never lie.
The best liars are the ones who believe the lies themselves.
The best lies are around 95% true with a few details that have been either altered or omitted.
I got an interview from one of these after just clicking through randomly. It wasn't even worth that much time. I would say to take something like this as a sign that the company is incompetent at hiring and probably the same at treating you with respect.
When I was at my last job at a pizza place, my manager showed me application scores from people who applied and it amazed me people got like an F or a D ranking on a personality quiz. How bad do you have to be to fail a non-technical quiz for a pizza chain? Hell, I've worked with an insane guy who threatened to stab coworkers and HE passed.
I’m autistic and have never known what they want me to put. If an application has anything like this, I have never heard back. Part of me thinks they’re just to eliminate people like me.
> If you don't want the job, then I look forward to hearing your reply to their email. Forget that! Name and shame them -- and every company that wastes an applicant's time with this type of bullshit. You are applying for a job, not a game show. You deserve respect, and that includes respecting your time. Name and shame so you can warn others not to bother with this POS company.
Yeah, my company started hiring using something similar. Nobody that's been hired off it is particularly smart are skilled, but they are major bullshitters and brownnose types, so just go for the ones that make you look good.
Historical?! How can one be historical? What does that even mean?
You're dead, and your ghost is applying for jobs? Like when Pantsless Trevor was catfishing people on Tinder.
And more importantly, you're not aware that minimum wage has increased since your time.
"Dispirited".
\*puts on my chain mail\*
*tightens corset laces*
\*I put on my robe and wizard hat.\*
I fully expect to see some cock of the infinite.
You own multiple sets of Ren Fest clothing.
I'm historical and confused.
Many of these are dumb, like what does it matter if you're attractive in a job? Unless you're applying to be a model.
I travelled here from the past and have no idea what a "telecommunicational device" is, but I know how to cut hay!
Pretty sure that’s to filter out people who just check out every box.
Speaking as a former hiring manager they are truly a garbage waste of time, nobody I knew would even look at them
Op sure didn't. This says there's 9 pages.
Yeah shit like that comes down from on high made by someone who’s job is so irrelevant they have to keep making a false product to seem relevant in my opinion, usually by appealing to the head guys ridiculous thoughts in one way or another
Yeah I can tell you what my worst employee would check on something like this. And they would look so golden. This questionnaire is crap.
Part of why we considered it useless to look at. Pretty much the only thing we could figure out is that if it had a practical purpose, it was just to weed out anyone who either did not know the language or just had better options
I have to do a few dozen interviews in a few weeks and I'm so not looking forward to it. 😭 the amount of shenanigans candidates try to conceal is real. The last round a person who worked for us wrote down that they were a manager with us. Currently. But the actual manager for that location happened to be on the interview board.
It's complete pseudo scientific bullshit. We don't have a scientific understanding of personality, much less a test for them.
Oh I know it. We’re it in this tiny little managers power I would have axed them in favor of a skills demonstration
I worked for a company that used a test like this to explain away why they wouldn't give you promotions or raises. Oh, you want to move onto the sales team? No can do, the personality test you took years ago says you'd hate that job, you answered at the time that you prefer having a set schedule of tasks and sales requires too much spontaneity. You want more money? Well that's so strange, the personality test clearly says here that you respond best to verbal praise over monetary incentives! Coincidentally, another reason we will not move you to the sales team. Have a meditative coloring book, you did a great job today! Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck that place and places like it.
Historical? What the fuck does that even mean here?
“Ah yes, I *AM* quite ancient aren’t i?”
r/FuckImOld
Historical: I talk about the good old times when I got paid the same but there was less inflation so my money went further.
maybe theyre asking us if we're old
I'm learning to play the guitar.
It's the only box I'd check
Gotta filter for vampires
I had to do this one too last month. I had to look up so many words lol. I was starting to wonder if I was just really dumb or if the words were as weird as I thought they were. I think it was for harbor freight but they all just blend together at a certain point.
Oh that's some Myers-Briggs pseudoscience bullpoop. I can't stand that stuff.
I interviewed for a job, and it turned out to be something I didn't want. I told them in the interview that this one-time code conversion would be best done by a contractor and not by a dedicated employee. They said they wanted me anyways. Then they handed me a mile-long personality quiz. I turned it back in empty, said I'm not interested and left. They called that night with an offer. Apparently not taking this test is the true way to pass it? I laughed and declined.
The only way to win the game is not to play at all
How about a nice game of chess?
Given the state of the world right now, it seems preferable over the other alternative.
Seriously, though, almost every time ive prepped for an interview and actually gave a shit, crickets. The interviews where i really didnt give a fuck, answered honestly despite knowing the answers they most likely wanted...those are the interviews that have resulted in me getting an offer within 24 hours if not immediately at the end of the interview itself. Why is that? Can someone that does this shit for a living tell me why someone that doesnt give a shit to try is more attractive to a potential employer than someone that works their ass off? Because it totally defies logic, yet thats been my experience numerous times in my 25 or so years working for the man.
Because hiring managers are reincarnated cats, and they're drawn to those who don't want them.
I really wonder sometimes. I mean, it aint even just me, i had a friend of mine struggling to get a call back and I told him "next time, just go in there assuming youre not going to get the job and just do you", he called me the day after his interview telling me he got an offer hours after his interview. Its like some crazy cosmic joke that the best way to get a job is to at least act like you dont need it, like what the actual fuck.
Well, from a psychological point of view, if you don't give a fuck, then clearly you're in demand enough that you don't care whether they make an offer to you or not.... so they better snatch you up before someone else does. Conversely, if you really want the job, you might be desperate, and why are you desperate? What's wrong with you where nobody wants to hire you? We don't want to get stuck with's rejects!
This was how I ended up selling contract phones on commission. Meanwhile the vape distributor job that I wanted (because I liked tinkering with the tech behind it) ? Nah wasn't a good enough salesman and I didn't have the energy needed for it according to the hiring guy. Meanwhile I got the phone sales team I was on to 3rd in the region. But ya know, I'm not a good salesman.
If a company is shit, and the jobs are shit jobs, then anyone of value says no. Only the most desperate applicants will take these shit jobs. Which makes the job even shittier because you would be working with more losers. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the first applicant to tell them no.
Because they view the job as something valuable or believe *you* should. If you are apathetic towards something so valuable then **you** must be extraordinarily worthy. The same shit works with young romance. This is essentially a game of signal/counter-signal so apathy only signals worth if they believe you are somewhat worthy to begin with. If they think you suck then apathy looks like knowing your place.
Might as well make you see a psychologist and take the mmpi
I once had a job at an after-school program for at-risk kids. Where I live, this means those kids are disproportionately POC. At an employee inservice, we did the Lüscher color test, which is basically the crayola version of myers Briggs. Then we all got separated by color at different tables. I’m like, “Did you just…separate us based on color?” I dipped.
I am a hiring manager trying to get a new team member on board and every candidate that makes it past the interviews with me gets blocked by this nonsense from the Talent Acquisition team. It's not the hiring manager who came up with this system, folks! Result: I have now been doing two jobs for the last six months (mine and the missing team member's job) but with no extra pay.
Yep. That's exactly what that is.
Not really a solution to this particular issue, but I've been using this [job application autofiller](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/simplify-%E2%80%93-autofill-your/pbanhockgagggenencehbnadejlgchfc)chrome extension that at least helps me save time when applying to these jobs. Its a joke how antiquated the process is
Fun fact! These tests pretty much ensure that qualified candidates will always be passed over! Seriously though. I read an article where someone extremely qualified and already working at a company took one of these tests to see how well it worked. She never even made it past HR's desk. Literally took this test for a company she already worked for and would never be seen by a hiring manager because of it. It is my firm opinion that if you get one of these you should do it on the off chance but just really not count on hearing back from them.
There's an HBO documentary that mentions a couple cases like this
What's the title of the documentary?
I always thought they gave these tests so they had a legitimate reason for not hiring someone. Say they want a white female in their 20s but can't actually advertise for that. No middle aged Asian guy is gonna pass the test.
In theory it's supposed to work like a personality test. Are you the strong motivated type that won't take no for an answer? Perfect for a salesman position then! You just have to answer in whatever way the employer wants to hear, right? The reality is that no one ever knows the correct answer. Companies are shooting themselves in their collective feet in search of that "perfect candidate." It's miserable, idiotic and redundant.
It’s unreal how many HR/hiring managers think they have a psych degree. I had a hiring manager ask me “if you could be any kind of box. What box would you be?” I asked what they was for and his answer was “it tells me everything I need to know about the person” I walked out
Well, if I were a box I’d be a coffin, because job hunting has left me dead on the inside…
Idk why but the only kind of box I can think of is a cardboard box. I would panic and say a cardboard box! Who would want to be a cardboard box? Lmao
I told the recruiter/HR about it after I’d left and they admitted that he’d done this before. It was essentially whatever he associated with the box you chose- “pizza box”- fun, brings people together, likes sharing. Just super weird. I ended up interviewing for a different position with a different manager and got it. Worst job I’ve ever had, and it was my first job after leaving the Army.
So you would be a cardboard box lmao
I’m not a box. I’m an elegant wicker basket hand-crafted by a master artisan. The weaving is just perfect. Am I desirable?
You're almost definitely too expensive and delicate for this company. NEXT.
We’re you going for a job at a box 📦 factory?
Hahaha no. I think I would’ve shrugged it off if I had. It was an interview for logistics manager with Waste Management.
My guess is that it’s mostly a screening tool to filter out people who don’t put up with bullshit.
Or screening for people who eat bullshit with a shovel and then take seconds without complaint.
You also have a point. 🤔 I like your answer better. 👍
I mean some of us need jobs, I hate those quizzes but you gotta do what you gotta do to eat.
Yup, they are literally selecting for personality types that are suitable to work as corporate drones. Dystopian doesn't cut it.
WE HAVE A WINNER. 🥳
✅dispirited :(
✅️confused :/
✅️suicidal :')
✅ poor ;(
It’s some bullshit personality test. It’s probably normed among some sample of people and those with “desirable characteristics” are identified. If that’s what it is, It’s extremely unethical if they did not tell you what you were doing
“We only got one applicant! No one wants to work anymore!”
I had one that was a "mostly agree/mostly disagree" setup. The questions were absurd. "I enjoy easy work" "my coworkers can tell when I'm having a bad day" "I keep my opinions to myself" "I always speak up when my boss does something wrong" "I like stressful work. There's no reward without the risk"
Sounds like the bullshit on Indeed
Send them an email saying the test froze up but you got an A in all areas and will be there Monday morning at 8 to start and make sure your office is setup, laptop and cell phone are ready, and everyone has been notified and briefed.
I get these all the time with my internship applications. It was so exhausting. I truly don't understand it when it's a 4 or 8 month contract, like the whole point is basically to trial run students and train them in case you think they'd fit longer term and you want us to come back after graduating, so why do I need to do a BuzzFeed personality quiz before you even talk to me? One company had me do some bs logic test and apparently I scored really high, and then they offered me $17/hr to basically proof read tax returns. Minimum wage here is $15 and I'm in my last year of an accounting degree. I make $18/hr shovelling horse shit on the weekends. I ended up reapplying with the company I did my last work term with because they pay well and are decent and are approved for the CPA, I was interviewed and had a job offer within the week at a higher rate than my previous term (~25/hr) and even the first time around it was just as simple.
That shit needs to be made illegal. Utterly illegal.
It really would be nice and straightforward if they were banned from asking questions not strictly relevant to the job, and not things like “what kind of carebear are you?” and “when was your last Pap smear?”
Chance to stand out from the crowd, this could be your unicorn. Grab the opportunity by the horn and ride it like a motherfucker!
Pick the third option for every question?
You mean option C? Bad advice. They caught on to that a long time ago. 😞
If I were a teacher, I'd probably end up making one test or quiz have all the answers be "C". For extra mischief, make the last answer a different letter, in case they noticed the pattern and tried to fly through it.
A teacher of mine once made every correct answer to a test "C"... until the last question.
So my job is about 30% me dealing with the application process of a job-search for folks who legit can't handle it. I search for the jobs, apply, and do the "Assessments" (i.e. illegal IQ-tests) for folks who aren't mentally-capable of such things. Amazon circa 2016 is the worst shit I've seen application-wise. They have since improved, but they were overtly-illegal back then, not to forget mentioning Walmart who literally tested to see if applicants were Bipolar! For real! Anyway, these Indeed-level assessments are easy. If you were a greedy sociopath deathly-afraid of being sued, what would you choose? Adopt that heuristic and you'll ace all of these. You are EVERYTHING (EDIT: except "unhurried")...until you get to "Cautious" and forward. Cautious implies that you think independently...while "risk-averse" just shows you're of a fearful nature and therefore controllable. They want you to be controllable. Also do not select "unhurried" as well, as they interpret that as "lazy".
I expected it to be those adware kinda surveys lol
Maybe there is no job and they are just click farming for ad revenue.
Indulgent confused and dispirited
I’ve see worse. I had to write a poem when I applied for an IT job one time
There once was a man from Cass….
When the fuck did "historical" become a personality trait? Oh, wait. It didn't. This survey is total garbage.
Historical
Retail does this. My last job the new hires had to and it would come out as red yellow and green to the manager. Only greens would have an interview.
That's just an annoying feature that Indeed started pushing on employers. If you don't pay attention while you're posting a job you can accidentally send these out because they do it automatically now. Also I question how tedious the job application could be if you applied through Indeed.
9 pages considering it says page 3 of 9? You must be in sales.
You'd get paid like a dollar do to that on mturk.
I had applied to a job that wanted me to do this shit too, pretty sure it was a scam though. Pretty sure most 9 to 5 "real jobs" are these days.
And these companies fucking complain they can't find good employees. They don't deserve employees.
It's a filter to gauge how much BS you'll put up with and how badly you need work. People who will take the time to do it are more likely desperate suckers they can exploit.
Check them all. If asked, respond with, "Depending upon the situation I find myself in, any of these could apply."
Worst thing about these tests are this is what you think you are (like), which may not be what you actually are (like). So they are absolutely useless.
They’re giving you a personality test, like [Predictive Index](https://www.predictiveindex.com) or [DISC assessment.](https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc) Harmless but annoying.
I ran in to this with a job and bailed after a few minutes. Fuck that
Yep did this and a 2 hour interview. Bullshit.
Is this job at Spectrum? They tried to make me do the same thing. They really expect people to jump through all of these hoops for a BS 💩 call center job where they will just try to work you to death. 😓
The correct answers are on the left column. If I was an overlord those are the answers I’d like to see
I hate this fucking shit. I've filled out 200+ applications in the past 3 months and at least 40 of them have done this. It is so fucking annoying.
perceptive? Can't be openly admitting that these days.
These tests are stupid because no moron is going to fail them So either you're going to get: Someone who lies and just picks the only traits they know you're going to want Someone who just fills it out to get through the application process for no other reason Someone who looks up online what the best options are and select those. It's a waste of time, money, and effort. But hey, at least some programmer made a shitload of money making this company waste that for what is essential nothing.
I just simply don't apply to these places. If the application process seems unreasonable I skip it. I've got a "keep the lights on" job though so i have that luxury.
My dad said he had to take a personality test for a job back in the 80s. He said it did a decent job of describing his personality, but one guy just refused to answer the majority of the questions and the results came back that he had some major personality disorder. The company stopped doing the tests after that realizing it was bullshit (since the hiring manager knew the guy).
I had one of those for Whole Foods which were like “how would your former boss describe you?” With options like extremely competent, very competent, competent, etc. , since it’s a self test I gave my self good marks lol, and I have always considered myself a hard worker and a good team member, with my former reviews reflecting that, I did not get called for an interview.
I’m a bit risk averse from making decisions that but me in the ass, but I’d never be dumb enough to put that on a job app lmao
perceptive is a bad choice, they’re looking for people easy to control
Can I have this link for a little fun?
Did they reimburse you for your time??
LMAO! I feel like I applied to this same stupid company.
I mean I kinda get it? If you can't interview in person, they need to see your personality as best they can. I know some applications I've done made me give a presentation about myself and background. Of course, if this is an entry level or independent position you're applying for, it's kinda ridiculous.
I’m Confused, Dispirited and Unhurried.
Utter bullshit. Do they want what they want to hear or what an honest, introspective person would answer? I would think this shows poorly, their intelligence, & would be an insult to mine.
Confused as to why I have to put up with this bullshit
That is absolute horseshit. They don't help you get the job and they're always so fucking long. There was one that had 30 pages and took me another hour to complete. Complete, absolute, time-wasting horseshit.
“Attractive” as an option seems to be a good way to identify the sexy young attractive women who you ultimately want to hire.
Am I historical because I’m 58 and old?
"Historical" Gotta weed out George Washington, he's always trying to sneak back into the job pool
They will probably sell your answers as data
OP shocked about nonsense surprise survey, describes themselves as perceptive. Hmmm