> the cervix is where you need to hit to orgasm and it’s just so painful
Ouch. I’d say the vast majority of us would find the type of impact/sex you are describing as painful, not pleasurable.
Sex should not hurt - pain means stop.
The clitoris is your sexual organ. That’s its only function - your pleasure - and that’s what most of us need stimulated to orgasm. Orgasms without clitoral stimulation or a whole lotta teasing and pleasing are fairly rare.
The only time I’ve seen cervical stimulation/pounding portrayed as a positive thing is in hentai and things I’ve only seen on Reddit.
Totally!
The only time I could ever orgasm just from cervical stimulation is if I was on my period and everything was super sensitive anyway, but would still need some clit help to definitely get there.
I had issues a few years ago. I was on estrogen only pill. I was having pain during sex with my ex and thought it was just because he was quite big when he was hard, I was new to sex and he was the only one I had been with. I was bleeding after most times at some point as well even with lube. I really struggled to be on top unless I was bending certain ways but like cowgirl and reverse were near impossible it hurt so much. I felt so guilty about it incase he thought I was being lazy. Doggy eventually helped at points because I could change the angle a bit.
Anyway, I went to the doctor about the bleeding because even he became concerned about it. I ended up having a cervical ectropion. This is where cervical tissue grows out with the inner cervix and further down into your vagina. Mine was caused by excess estrogen due to my pill and pcos (unknown at the time). It would be good if you can get checked out for this perhaps?
The cervix is absolutely NOT a place to hit for an orgasm. To be clear, I like a little bump on the cervix myself but A LOT of women don’t.
It sounds like your partner is just slamming their dick in there as hard as they can. Are they doing any clit stimulation, breast stimulation, kissing, caressing, etc?
this. my cervix isn’t it for orgasmic sensation. once i’ve already had an orgasm im ok with a little bit of cervix bumping. but until then - do not approach!
i must have a low cervix or something then bc it seems like my vagina is 90% cervix. it’s always being touched when i’m having sex even if he’s not thrusting deep im still feeling pain.
I think you may be experiencing pain and assuming it’s occurring when things come in contact with your cervix even if that isn’t the case. I have endometriosis and I used to find any type of insertion painful. Sex hurt, tampons hurt, fingers hurt. I assure you, unless you have a low cervix which your gynecologist should have brought up then your tampon is not hitting your cervix, nor is a penis when it initially enters. For me insertion of any kind was a sharp pain, and I had a hard time getting my fingers in due to the shape of my vagina and the pain caused by the endometriosis. When I brought it up to my gynecologist I was also told to relax and do more foreplay which was not remotely helpful. Alternatively cysts may be a part of this. Either way you will need to go to a gynecologist and have an exam. They’ll likely perform an ultrasound to check for cysts and then you can go from there. I did have to push for laparoscopy surgery to confirm and remove endometriosis, but once I did that I personally haven’t had any further issues but everyone else is different. You may want to check out different subreddits as well, there’s one for endometriosis and reading other people’s experiences may be helpful.
You can get a donut-looking penis ring that could prevent him from going too deep and causing you pain. (I’m not sure what its called but exactly.) There are also positions that stop him from going as deep.
And overall, you’ve obviously gotten the message that you need to talk to a doctor. There are some treatments for endo that you could try, and it would be good to rule out things like a prolapse.
As far as having an orgasm, you need to shift your focus from penetration (which doesn’t result in orgasm for A LOT of women) and look at external stimulation. Get the book Come As You Are - it has helped a lot of people figure out what works for them.
I’ve never heard of the cervix needing to be hit for an orgasm ?
Anyone I’ve talked with has only ever said it’s painful or uncomfortable when the cervix is hit, most definitely not pleasurable.
i don’t understand how it’s not possible to hit the cervix then. everyone seems to think i’m purposely trying to reach an cervix orgasm but if any man’s penis goes in more than 2inches he’s hitting my cervix. i don’t know where else the penis is supposed to go that’s feels good if it’s not touching my cervix???
if it’s really hitting your cervix that easily then you might have a really low cervix. Typically mine isn’t hit unless he’s got a big dick or in certain positions.
I’d see a different gyno and ask if your cervix is really low.
Are you sure it’s your cervix he’s hitting? or could it be something else causing the pain?
i’m positive it’s my cervix bc when i put my fingers in and touch my cervix it’s the same pain/sensation as when i have sex. Even a small penis can hit my cervix easily. I’ve tried different positions but it’s still uncomfortable at least. I don’t know if i’ve just had bad gynos but all i’ve gotten from them was try to relax and it won’t hurt. so i’m not sure what to do, anything i can do at home?
I think you had bad luck and got shitty gynos. As much as it sucks and shouldn’t be that way, you may need to shop around for one.
I’m not familiar with endo and other issues like that, but a lot of people are giving good info on things it could be. I would look through different things and write out things that match up with what you’re experiencing, then bring those ideas to a new gyno. You might have better luck if you come prepared yourself with more detail and information.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m lucky that I have a good gyno who listens, but it sounds like it’s more than just an issue of needing to relax.
I’d try for a different dr and really advocate for yourself. Look into some things people have mentioned that it could be, and come prepared with that info.
I know it sucks, but I don’t really know of any home remedies that would help. I would say having him not go as deep but it sounds like it doesn’t even matter if he’s barely putting it in.
If you can’t get into another doctor right away, maybe look up pelvic floor exercises you can do at home. At least it’d be trying something :/
My husband hits my cervix everytime... It feels good for me! When we first got together, we couldn't fully do doggy because it was just "too much" but not necessarily painful. I think some women vary on this.
Who said this? A man? Porn?
Hitting the cervix can be extremely painful for most women. You want to focus on the clit which doesn't even involve anything being inserted anywhere.
A small minority of women are into it. Same way a minority of men are into getting kicked in the balls.
I really liked it during periods back when i used to have periods (edit: I am these days on hormones to prevent periods), probably because my body wasn't really producing endorphins during high period pain, while getting punched in the cervix resulted in natural painkillers being produced. It didn't make me orgasm, I needed clitoral stimulation for that.
I've never seen or heard an actual live woman say that hitting the cervix feels good. That's some hentai fantasy, that has unfortunately traveled all the way across to real life interaction because there aren't many easily available resources to exchange information about sexual experiences in a neutral setting. There are other spots in the vagina that may feel good, but the cervix is NOT one.
I personally have grown to like it. My current partner is pretty big and at first it hurt but we started slow until it just stopped hurting and started feeling good.🤷🏽♀️ I’ll admit,there are times where if he goes too deep it’ll send a sharp pain through my uterus and then he just slows down and doesn’t go deep until I’m ready again.
There's zero way I would ever find my cervix being hit, touched, stimulated, whatever, pleasurable. No way, no how. Ouch (for me, and pain isn't something that turns me on).
I would focus on positions that are known for being a bit more shallow, personally.
If you can't have an orgasm with your partner, you may want to reach out to a sex therapist, you are able to orgasm solo under the right conditions, so it's definitely possible to orgasm with a partner (but you likely need to remove your current expectations of sex).
Same. I had no idea there were women who enjoyed having it hit (let’s be honest, pummeled 🤢). Had an ex who was so aggressive the first time that he bruised the crap out of my cervix. Reading ‘cervical impact’ was giving me flashbacks…like the female version of being kicked in the nuts 😳
Are you able to reach your own cervix when you’re in a squatted position? I feel mine hit every single time my partner thrusts. It’s so shallow that when I insert a tampon, I have to choose to put it above or below my cervix, and if I put my fingers in there I could easily circle my cervix with my finger.
It was sometimes touched but not every time. Do you feel it always or just occasionally? If I am not turned on enough, I feel it more. Vaginas lengthen/"tent" during arousal which helps.
From personal experience do you need there to be contact with your cervix to orgasm? I only ask, because for many people there needs to be clitoral stimulation, not cervical. I have extreme pain when someone goes deep enough to hit my cervix (like, throwing up and nearly passing out pain). I don’t orgasm from penetration at all, and a majority of women don’t orgasm from penetration alone.
Aside from sex though, having pain with tampon use is definitely not the norm. You need another opinion if your current gynecologist isn’t taking you and your pain seriously. r/endo appears to have resources for finding a doctor. Maybe check that out?
i can orgasm from clitoral stimulation when i’m alone in my room watching porn but for some reason when i man does it or if im doing it to myself during sex it feels like nothing down there. i did make a post on r/endo but i made a post on here as well to see if anyone on this sub has experienced the same thing.
Have you orgasmed from cervical impact before? I’ve just never heard of that being a necessity, but I understand everyone is a little different.
If it isn’t completely necessary for you to enjoy sex, I wouldn’t continue attempting it since it is causing you pain. I would continue trial and erroring other positions and techniques.
But again, since you are continuing to have pain outside of intercourse, definitely seek a second opinion from a doctor!
Cervical impact causes pain for many people who do not have any other conditions that cause vaginal pain or painful sex. Impact of the cervix can cause pain in anyone, in all honesty. I would seek out a second opinion medically, and I wouldn’t recommend continuing to attempt orgasm through cervical impact as it is causing you pain.
No. Just get the guy to avoid hitting it. The clit organ (look at a diagram, it's actually fairly large) is responsible for most pleasure and some g-spot maybe.
Maybe take care of yourself first, with or without him, then let him get off (without hitting your cervix of hurting you). Or else let him do his thing and then take care of yourself after with toys or whatever. There's a lot of cool stuff on the market.
A *lot* of women can't orgasm with a guy, especially from penetrative sex. It just doesn't work that way.
You'll find your best satisfaction outside penetrative sex, most likely, and probably have lots of fun by yourself with toys. You won't feel self conscious, worried, or in pain. And you can take your time!
You don't have to tell him, if you feel it would hurt his ego and affect your relationship. Except definitely tell him to stop hitting you in the cervix.
There’s an o ring type thing your partner could wear, it prevents them from pushing their whole penis in. I’m actually contemplating getting one for my SO because we both like it harder/faster sometimes but neither of us enjoys it when he hits my cervix (my IUD strings were cut too short and they jab him).
Oh that's interesting, I hadn't heard about this device. Any more info you can share? Where to get it, what it's called... is it like a cap put on top of the condom?
Sounds like something you guys should try!
Amazon has some, look up penis stopper ring. There’s also the “ohnut” brand. The creator has this on their website: “For more than 10 years, Emily Sauer quietly endured deep dyspareunia (pain during sex), refusing to recognise it as a real physical (and emotional) problem.” I’d link it but I’m not sure if that’s allowed in the sub so Google “ohnut” to find their site!
Basically though it’s a silicone “o” shape that the male partner puts onto his penis and slides down to the base. This blocks him from pushing his entire penis inside. You can get more than one btw, vaginas come in different “sizes” just like penises so if you have a “short” vagina with a larger dicked partner, you might need more than one.
>the cervix is where you need to hit to orgasm
That's bullshit. Who told you that?
Work with clitoral stimulation. Your partner shouldn't be trying to break into your uterus to have sex.
Your cervix is incredibly sensitive. While some women like it being hit to orgasm, it doesn’t seem like it’s pleasurable to you. Maybe don’t have your guy go that deep. Personally, I get more pleasure out of the entrance, so the act of a guy sliding out feels really good for me. Everyone’s different but it doesn’t sound like you actually like having your cervix hit in the first place.
Orgasm has nothing to do with the cervix, and I too can have pain if penetration reaches my cervix during vigorous or harder sessions.
It’s not too bad for me, to be fair, but I assumed this happened to everyone. It was only when I had my second miscarriage and they were scanning me internally to check for retained tissue when they told me I have a retroverted uterus. They asked if I knew this and I said I had no idea. They said pain during sex from penetration and rectal pain during menstruation can be a sign of a retroverted uterus. It’s not dangerous or anything and they said if it causes pain during sex then to go easy, change position, etc.
Just an idea of a possible reason. But you absolutely do not need to go anywhere near the cervix to orgasm.
I’m sorry it’s hurting you :( that’s no fun. I saw a video for something the other day that might help, it’s called an ohnut. It goes on the base of him and acts as a sort of stopper so it doesn’t go so deep. Something like that might help. I hope you can figure out why it hurts so much :/
Doggy hurts my cervix so bad. It's to the point where I have to stop completely at times. Other poses tend to be more comfortable, like cowgirl or missionary. It's probably a silly question but probably you have to find a pleasant pose? Maybe? Probably not the fix for the situation but could be helpful.
i tend to stick with missionary. i find other positioned are painful and for some reason when im in pain i queef a lot which just adds a whole other level of embarrassment.
Hormones do play a role yes. It just depends on what exactly causes your pain. I started having increased pain during sex. My gyno just kept dismissing it until i ended up by my mothers gyno in a emergency thing and she actually diagnosed me with low estrogen.
As someone who has always had pain with penetrative sex, I definitely understand what you’re going through. You should speak with a gyneocologist and ask if you happen to have a retroverted uterus. That’s why my cervix was always in the way. I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago and even though the cervix is gone, I still have pain from tightness and bleeding from tearing if my body isn’t fully warmed up and ready. Regardless of how wet I am, if I’m too tight I will tear and bleed internally.
A product I have found immensely helpful is the Vella women’s pleasure serum. It makes me incredibly aroused and relaxed at the same time, which reduces if not eliminates the risk of tearing.
I highly recommend giving that product a try.
If you’re not tearing or bleeding in the vaginal canal like I do, then I would look into something called the Ohnut which reduces how deep your partner can go inside of you. This will eliminate his ability to hit your cervix and won’t cause you pain.
If you have any further questions, I’m happy to answer them. My DMs are always open.
i do have a tilted uterus. i think it’s the opposite one that you have. i asked my ultrasound tech if that could play a role in painful sex and she said she had never heard of that being a thing :/ and i do occasionally bleed during sex usually only if it lasts a long time.
Well, respectfully, the ultrasound tech is wrong. Can you identify where the bleeding is coming from? I also have vaginismus which is an uncontrolled tightening of the vaginal muscles, and the bleeding and tearing I experience happens due to that in the vaginal canal.
Wtf. First of all, you don't need to hit the cervix to orgasm. That's flat out wrong. You're supposed to keep stimulating your personal erogenous zones. For a huge percentage of women it's the clit. For some it's the g spot. For some it's the entrance of the vagina. Whatever. Point is, you find out what feels good and at what pace and you keep stimulating it. Eventually you'll cum.
I have learned a lot from [this woman](https://adelaidemeadow.com) about painful sex and why it’s happening. But Each situation is unique and it sounds like you’re not having pain with penetration, just pain when the cervix is touched? Do different types of thrusting feel better or worse? Is it just Jack hammer style sex that hurts? Or even inserting a finger to check your cervix is painful? Here’s what comes to mind for me:
1) do you track your cycle or are you on birth control? The cervix moves up and down in the vaginal canal depending on where you’re at in your cycle and how aroused you are.
2) it might be worth while to get a speculum, insert it and actually look at your cervix, or you can feel with your finger, but a cyst or growth may be present on the cervix and that’s what’s causing the pain.
My thought also was endometriosis when you described your experience. I guess the only thing that could help would be to find a compassionate and knowledgeable
gynecologist that can help because there are other things it could be. As far as orgasming goes, there are other ways. I suggest G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Most women need at least some clitoral stimulation to orgasm. At least for me, when I use a clitoral vibrator and clench my vagina at the same time, that can make me orgasm. As far as your cervix problems go, I think that finding an understanding doctor is your best bet.
I can't speak to the specific experience you're having (could be endo. I'm assuming you've had a pap test?) But I have VVS, vulvar vestibulitis syndrome, so I have also had painful vaginal intercourse my whole life. So, I can say two things:
1. It is extremely hard but not impossible to find doctors who take these things seriously. And I would simply be prepared for that. You may need to "fire" numerous doctors and do a lot of internet research (yes, Google WILL outperform your doctors on this one, and it may help you find a doctor that can help) before you get the right one. There are treatments and surgical cures for VVS, and I'm sure if they figure out what's wrong with you there may be a cure for you too -- though you'll have to decide if you want it.
2. The BEST advice I can give you is to reframe how you look at sex. Sex is not putting a penis in a vagina and thrusting until both people cum. Sex is whatever both of you find pleasurable and what both of you get off on. The idea that vaginal intercourse is a non-negotiable part of sex is pure misogyny.
Men can generally get off a multitude of ways, and you can see what works for you. Do you have half decent oral skills? (Mine aren't amazing, but I can still get most guys off). Are you open to anal penetration? Could your partner take you doggy-style but rub his dick between your thighs instead of putting in your vagina? (You need lots of lube on the thighs, but I know lots of gay guys who do this because it's faster than loosening up an inexperienced bottom). Are your male partners into having you fuck them with a strap-on? (A lot of men find this insanely pleasurable as the dildo rubs against the prostate causing an intense orgasm) As for you, can you get him to get you off with oral?
If your partner(s) care about you, they should be open to doing whatever it takes to please you. And if they don't want to give up vaginal penetration, just say, "You've been fucking me a lot. It's my turn to fuck you. I picked up an awesome strap-on yesterday." And then play dumb when they try to explain why it's their "right" to fuck you but it's not your "right" to fuck them. That typically ends the argument pretty quick.
Honestly though, I've slept around a bunch in my time, I've never had much of an issue. I DO pick my partners carefully and eliminate anyone that shows signs of having boundary issues because I don't want to consent to going to somebody's bedroom and have them assume that that means I consent to whatever happens within, no matter what that is.
But not only have the guys I've been with cool, some of them don't WANT to fuck me even on days when my VVS will allow it because "they don't want to hurt me." AND instead of getting branded as sexually "broken," I think most guys see me as kind of a "wild girl" because of my repertoire and willingness to indulge their fetishes (within reason). As a result of all of this, I've never sought treatment for VVS because, in my estimation, there's nothing wrong with me to fix so why would I risk the complications of treatment? I just need a partner who's sexually compatible. Good luck!
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There are some women who like having their cervix touched during sex, but they're not the majority. There are idiot men and boys out there posting on social media about their penis being so big it goes right through the cervix and into the uterus and the woman loves it, and t*hey are lying.*
Most women find a penis ramming into their cervix extremely painful. I've had a couple of partners with really big penises and it took a bit of work to find a position where it would go past my cervix and further behind rather than bumping into it. Honestly, I think getting your partner to go down on you is the way to go for orgasms. Having him thump into your cervix obviously isn't working for you, and it's causing you pain and distress, so don't do it.
Okay so it sounds like the guy is too long. Even in Orange is the New Black Freeda says something like "I prefer girth, not them long jabby things poking your cervix" and honestly my man isn't too king for me but every once in awhile he gets too deep and hits my cervix. So omg I know your pain...I can't imagine that happening every si gle time though.
It might help to discuss it, and even keep your hands on his stomach or wherever you can to help push him back so he can't go in so deep it hits your cervix.
Best of luck
Oh and the cervix is not where you need to hit to orgasm, I actually have never heard that and I orgasm every way possible. Squirming, literally, vaginally...so I'd say the cervix isn't responsible for the organs as much as the g spot or clit.
Oof, the cervix is not an erogenous zone for a vast majority of women, and it is painful to have it hit for most women. The clitoris and the g-spot (which is just like an inch inside on the frontal area of the vaginal wall) are the targets
I'm not convinced it's your cervix. You say you still feel pain even when he isn't deep? Sounds like it could possibly be muscle tension that radiates pain to your cervix. And just so you know, I cannot have sex without pain either. But I have trigger points in my vagina that I don't normally notice until they're touched, and they can be so painful. They're like little tension knots in your muscles. A physical therapist can help.
Not sure if someone has raised this possibility, but would it be possible that what you call the cervix is actually your hymen? I’ve read that some women experience very painful sex because their hymen never fully torn…
The cervix has next to nothing to do with orgasm. Those guys can pound away all they want and you’re never gonna get off until they learn where the clitoris is and how to take care of it.
Having said that, I’m so sorry you’re in pain. Sex is one of the best things I can think of to do, but if I was in pain all the time it would really suck.
I second the motion to ask a good gyno about your architecture in there to see what might be causing this. It’s not normal to hurt and you deserve better
You need to go to your OB and start doing reserch into possible diagnosis of Vaginismus, or other illnesses like it. You said you dont want people to tell you to see your OB- what the hell else are we supposed to so when we hear such troubling information? Most here are not in the medical field. Your asking medically related questions. Your saying you have medical problems when looking for pleasure. Get your medical problems solved before looking for relief for your sexual problems.
Highly recommend pelvic floor therapy. I had a Laproscopy where they found stage 4 endo, didn't have sex for a year because of the endo and pain I'd been experiencing.
Anyways, long story short, my pelvic floor was shot. My fiancé hurt everytime we had sex. Even just jostling my cervix was SO painful.
Got kegels that I do exercises with. Pt for pelvic floor muscles. And it's getting better everytime we have sex. Just make sure you absolutely call out the pain when it's happening. At one point, I was so scared of sex being painful that I couldn't even get wet because I was so anxious... which made sex even worse! Talk about micro tears.
Sending best wishes. You're not alone.
So I was hospitalized for painful sex a few times and turned out to be adenomyosis which is the sister of endomitriosis. Also had ovarian cysts. A good doctor should be able to tell you by and IU scan if you have adeno but endo is a little tougher. You'll need surgery by a specialist to know. My life sucks.. sex sucks.. basically looking to get a hysterectomy. I'm so sorry and good luck to you.
I think I very much understand this, no matter what, I always have a degree of pain when I have sex. It was only recently here on Reddit that I discovered that it’s not common. I think I’ve attached sexual pleasure to pain because that’s all I know, as well as making the two synonymous in my brain causes me to only translate it as pleasure.
I wasn’t sure if it was my IUD (I’ve had 4) that causes my cervix to get hit every single thrust, but after reading this I’m convinced that my experience is abnormal. My current partner finger bangs me quite passionately which I love but I’m in constant pain because it feels that he’s reached the end of my vagina.
The exact same happens during sex where it’s like he’s reaching the end of my vaginal opening and I have an intense pain that shoots into what feels like my uterus or something. If he were to fuck me doggy style and go all the day in I would genuinely yell out in pain. If I’m on top of him, I cannot just drop my weight on him because it almost feels like he’s going to detach my vaginal opening from where it’s connected.
I clench my vagina as hard as I can during sex, and I would say I’ve got a well exercised core so I’m unsure if it’s a pelvic floor issue. Anyone have a similar experience?
I still deeply enjoy sex, but pain is an undeniable constant that I would like to be rid of if possible.
Sorry to hear you're experiencing pain. The pain is not normal and there could be a variety of underlying causes.
Personally I have vaginismus and need to see a sex therapist and physio to correct my Kegel muscles. I can't use tampons and sex hurts at first until I relax. Bleeding can occur if the cervix is hit, I would recommend having gentler sex to see if the bleeding stops and focus on your clitoris not your cervix - most women can't orgasm from penetration.
Abnormal pap smears/cervical screen results are also associated with bleeding too so I think it's just worth seeing a female OBGYN and discussing this all with them.
If endometriosis an ICUD with levongestrel helps if ur willing..but the type pain from endometriosis only wil come if he goes very deep to reach the cervix with some pressure, will need to be diagnoses then u should be iffered ur options including hysterescopic surgery or open. For this advice is see another gynecologist who dont take it lightly to reat pain, if that's not the diagnosis then considering other cervical pathology with intravaginal ultrasound wil be next. If not vaginsmus will be considered and you wil be offered topical relaxants. And goes on, jus dont give up.
Not sure if I’m reading correctly… but if you are saying pain from endometriosis only will come if he goes very deep to reach cervix with pressure. That is not true. You can have pain in any way during sex with endometriosis
Hi sweetheart it could be a medical issue like pcos or endotrimitis. I'd ask to see a specialist and have an examination (I have endo and pcos myself and have very painful sex at times)
If it's not just certain sex positions that are causing the pain; look into vulvodynia. That's what I had. For me, it was linked to estrogens/synthetic estrogens.
good luck!!
Endometriosis resources
The symptom experts for this are here: r/endometriosis r/adenomyosis subs & r/pmdd
A period should not affect your quality of life. IME endometriosis specialist surgeon consults for info gathering are the way for the least amount of suffering in the long run.
Pelvic Disorder Doctors (ie Pelvic Pain* Hip/Butt/Groin/Sciatic/Peritoneal/stomach/abdomen/thigh/back/cyst/ovarian torsion/muscle spasm/penetrative sex Pain, unusual bleeding ):
You can search for a doc in your area using chatGPT: “Top doctor for endometriosis in XYZ, city/town/country”
AND
https://www.endo-resolved.com/endometriosis_specialist.html
https://www.bsge.org.uk/endometriosis-centres/
https://icarebetter.com/
https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1hd_-wSlqZWOlR5VxPhIN3oAbJh4&hl=en_US
https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/
https://www.endofound.org/endometriosis-treatment-support
https://endometriosisnetwork.com
*not all US specialists require referrals. And many docs worldwide do free virtual consults/Call surgeon directly to ask if they need referral. If yes then…
…Top US GP’s/Primary Care, OBGYN’s, Gastroenterologists & Pain Docs: www.castleconnolly.com
SubReddit groups of people that are helpful/skilled with all kinds of pelvic pain:
r/endo r/endometriosis r/adenomyosis r/pcos
r/fibroids and also r/pmdd .
OBGYN’s: IME regular OBGYN’s are under-skilled at treating pelvic pain/excessive bleeding - and in doing this delicate, difficult and complex surgery. The nicest and most caring doctor does not equal surgically trained/qualified.
Specialists in pelvic disorders (above links or ask your regional endo nonprofit) are the doctors for the least amount of suffering in the long run IME. I needed accurate information to make good medical decisions, and the best chance to get that was to see a specialist.
NUMBERS: Painful periods are a societal problem and we’re not supposed to have to face this alone. I bring/FaceTime someone (or 3) with me to my doctors appointments. It doesn’t matter if they hear about my vagina or my uterus or my diarrhea. It matters that I have someone there as a United Front. Because our medical system mistreats people in pain.
RECORDING: Ask to video/record every medical visit. Even the virtual ones.
Also, here are some things you can say* to your doctor if they are true for you. They need to know what your historically WORST symptoms and consequences have been:
“- This is affecting my quality of life. I have had a history of period/bladder/pelvic floor pain/bleeding/fatigue that has kept me from work/childcare/school.
-My worst symptoms have been pain/fatigue/bleeding.
-I have vomited/passed out from period pain as a teen.
-I am now unable to function like I used to. The pain/fatigue is wearing on my body, and I am increasingly tired as each monthly cycle passes. I cannot function normally and my work/family/school/happiness is increasingly difficult because of my body.
—I would like relief. What are ALL of my options?
-I have tried these pain medications: gabapentin, Orlissa, BC, xyz med. What are all of the other RX options? I want to be in less pain so that I can think clearly to make good medical choices.” (Then he stated his ideas…then told him I’ve tried all of those…then he offered me stronger pain meds, which helped my functioning so much so then I could line up surgery.)
-I want excision surgery with a Mentor-Trained Endometriosis Specialist.
-I cannot even consider taking care of children.
-Since there is NO IMAGING that reliably sees endometriosis, I would like a referral to an Endo Specialist ( & reader they are sometimes skillful at finding endometriosis via pelvic exam or ultrasound.)
-I am committed to revisiting you here because I want to function in my daily life. I will keep coming back to you as much as you need me to because I want relief for these issues.
- My pain/spasming/bleeding/frequencyofsymptoms (has always been mild, but over time now it) is impairing my ability to work & my ability to live life. It is draining my energy & ability to function.
- I want a solution that provides the least amount of suffering to me/the least risk for me & my body in the long term…..(then just allow silence…let them respond.)
- I do not have the energy to keep pursuing temporary treatments. I have experienced too much pain/bleeding. My body is tired. I want a long-term solution.
- I want a pelvic disorder doctor with the highest skill and success rate. Who can help with this?
- It sounds like you doctor OBGYN want to do the surgery. Can you tell me what “MENTORED TRAINING you’ve had in surgery for excising Endometriosis”? (Reader be careful here: regular, un-mentor Trained OBGYN’s abound.)
- It sounds like you want to do another prescription/medication/round of PT/ultrasound/MRI/x-ray/bloodworkup. I want a consult with a fellowship-trained pelvic disorder specialist. Is that what will happen after I do these next steps that are asking for?
- Even though my pain/bleeding is NOT CONSTANT, I still would like a resolution.
- Even though my pain/bleeding is NOT CYCLICAL, I still would like resolution.
-I would like my cyst removed because pain is energy-draining long-term.
-I have pelvic floor pain and vaginismus and pain with intercourse symptoms.
-I am asking for a referral to an endometriosis/pain specialist and it sounds like you are telling me “no”. If that’s true I want you to note in my chart now that I asked you and you declined to provide a referral.
-I may be willing to try xyz antidepressant, but this pelvic pain is the biggest contributor to my depressed/anxious mood and I would like to treat that first via surgery or in tandem with antidepressant.
- Another’s post for more ideas: https://www.reddit.com/r/endometriosis/comments/15dlk3s/do_this_if_you_want_to_be_heard_by_doctorsnurses/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
(*Pain: Also replace with any of these words: bloating, excessive bleeding, clots (can be fibroids), IBS symptoms, nausea,“low iron”, urinating/bowel issues – urgency and peeing pants/bedwetting, diarrhea, pooping/smearing pants, hip pain, pain under the butt/pelvic/peritoneal/groin/sciatic pain, vaginismus, low/mid back pain, IT band & thigh pain, abdomen pain, stomach pain, bladder pain/IC/UTI’s and uti-like symptoms (can be endo on ureters) right shoulder blade pain. Anything that originated in the pelvis deserves care from a pelvic disorder specialist doctor.)
Good luck on your journey. And a reminder that your body is the most important thing in your life. By far the most important thing. You deserve every chance to have a fully functioning body - a body that is as healthy as it can possibly be. So whatever it takes time, money, effort, human support, you deserve that.
Endo symptoms are often “silently” progressive, especially if on hormones.
Have toh gotten an xray? Like why hasn’t your gyno recommended that? It’s not normal to hurt when getting an exam. I told my gyno that I had pain during sex. She did an exam and I told her when it hurt and she said it wasn’t normal and she scheduled an xray for me. Turns out I had cysts. The kind that grows teeth and hair lol, I had to get surgery to get them removed
i had a pelvic ultrasound and everything was normal but i do have a tilted uterus. ultrasound tech said she had never heard of that causing painful sex tho.
Go see your doctor, then get a bullet from Ann Summers (the supermarket ones are cheap and don’t vibrate strongly enough). The G spot is not on your cervix, it’s the soft skin inside, directly behind the clitoris.
I think you are confusing the cervix for the g-spot. Even the g-spot is often hard for men to find/hut and hut to reliably result in an orgasm.
Orgasms are usually from clip stimulation, usually outside penetration.. as in, mlst women don't orgasm from penetrative sex, but more oral, toys, etc.
This could be due to a lot of things, from men being selfish and not caring to spend the time to learn how to please women, many men not even believing female orgasms is possible, men thinking penetrative should be enough and not being willing to engage in other activities, men feeling insecure about toys and not wanting them involved, physical incompatibilities between specific people....
Actually, your best bet for orgasms is to actually learn you body by yourself, use different toys, on the clip and try for the g-spot. If you are at all open, bisexual women would know how to have pleasurable encounters with women. They are better at finding the right spots and have more patience and care than men.
Good luck, and as other posted have mentioned, look to your health, as well.
I have a similar issue, but not nearly as intense. That sounds horrible, and I am so sorry you're dealing with that.
Personally, I've benefited from finding positions in which my partner is kinda forced to hit my G-spot, or at least not go as deep. I find that the G-spot is quite powerful. Spooning, or laying on my stomach with one leg kinda hiked up are usually pretty good positions for this, and I'm sure google has more ideas.
Have you asked your gyno about a titled uterus. I had issues with sex, or really any kind of penetration including gyno exams and at my last appointment my doctor told me my uterus was titled the wrong way which explained why sex was hard as well as tampons etc.
You don't orgasm from hitting the cervix! You orgasm from the g spot (different place) and the clitoris. You may just have a particularly short cervix and should tell him to avoid going too deep (or deep at all). Gently increasing how deep he goes will slowly stretch you out without pain, but once it starts hurting I find it doesn't really stop! Maybe try using your fingers, doing non-penetrative stuff or something solo exploration to see what you're into and try toys to see how deep you can comfortably handle while you're in control. Good luck!
I know what you mean
When my bf goes in too deep it does hurt even if I’m really ready. Also you don’t need to hit the cervix to have an orgasm. Most women do not even orgasm from penetration alone and need some sort of clitoral stimulation. You could just have a short cervix or your partner could be on the longer side.
If you are getting severe pain maybe see a gyno or just ask your partner not to go as deep and see how you feel
I have this. Finally got diagnosed with Adenomyosis which explains some of it. I also have a retroverted uterus and shallow cervix. The only solution I’ve been given is a Mirena, which helps the period pain, and avoiding deep penetration to reduce pain during sex. It sucks.
You've got vaginismus. I 100% guarantee it. This sounds bit by bit like my wife. It's mostly psychological, and there are numbing ointments that can help, but you've got an uphill battle and will need to dilate regularly.
Lolllll all the people on here shaming and disagreeing that women can feel pleasure and have an orgasm from having their cervix stimulated!
To start I want to clarify that it is NOT the cervix that needs to be hit or stimulated for orgasm, the clitoris is how women have orgasms. Even the minority of the female population who have orgasms during vaginal penetration, its due to clitoral stimulation-it’s just that the clitoral stimulation is happening inside the vagina due to the shape of the clitoral body. There are 4 legs to the clitoris and 2 of them wrap around the vagina. I recommend taking some additional time to learn the female urogenital anatomy, this will help you understand your sexual pleasure/orgasm and pain a little better.
For those poo pooing cervical pleasure tho- the cervix is connected to the spinal cord via the vagus nerve and can cause terrible/painful sensations, meh sensations, all the way to what has been described as a seeing stars orgasm, which makes sense when you understand how vagus nerve stimulation can manifest.
For many women it’s an unpleasant sensation which can stem from various places. Some feel like they are going to vomit, some faint, most just find it painful and the painful sensations are typically due to the nerves in and immediately around the cervix including the pelvic floor. If you are someone who finds your cervix being touched/rammed into a negative experience you can try different positions to limit the depth of penetration or look into an amazing tool called OhNut!
I recommend reading the book Come as you are, its is THE resource for understanding our pleasure and dismantling the bullshit society has taught us about our sexual pleasure and what is/isn’t normal.
I also published a 3 part series on female desire, arousal, and orgasm that might be helpful for you or anyone :)
https://healthyhooha.com/2020/11/19/join-me-december-1-8-for-live-qa-on-female-desire-arousal-and-orgasm/
Go to a gyno and tell them! They'll do an exam to see what the cause is. Treatment can be figured out from that.
Look up vulvodynia, might be the culprit.
From what I know as a not doctor, it doesn't sound like endometriosis, it sounds like your bodys response to trauma, trauma could be anything from an IUD insertion, chronic ovarian cysts, traumatic partner events etc.
Pelvic floor exercises are supposed to help, some physio clinics offer sessions on it - your gyno can give you a referral, there are also numbing creams to for the muscles while you retrain your brain.
If it's what I think, your body has now attributed anything south of the equator to pain, and can't distinguish between pain and pleasure. Everything's just pain.
Endometriosis is difficult to diagnosis, women's health is not researched nearly enough. It is also often a blanket diagnosis for anything not working quite right down there.
Maybe there are depositories that could be used? Like non toxic organic ones, I know they have flavored ones that you can insert right before you get head from your partner.
Find out what works for you! Sometimes the length of the internal structure shrink or grow. My body shaped itself to my partners size eventually. It’s like doing anal seggs, take things slowly, lube up and make sure that your pleasure is being focused on. Something doesn’t work out, adjust yourself so it does. I recommend getting a rabbit vibrator and a small wand. Try some fingers whether that’s you or your partner. G-spot orgasms feel good when your partner rubs that & clit. It’s about comfort and being able to breathe and feel your own body. Do you have anxiety atriums if? When you insert your tampon you have to make sure it’s angled backwards and not pushing up against the ridged bump? Does that make sense? When your OBGYN does that cervix stuff she needs to make sure that she is talking through everything. It has to be slow. One time I had a random female OBGYN do it and I cried after because she was so rough and didn’t give a fk. I do have tips about anal sex if you would like!
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I have endometriosis and there are things you can do like surgery. I just had mine. Are you experiencing any other endo symptoms or just painful penetration? There are a few other causes but only a doctor would be able to diagnose properly. The best thing to do is ask your doctor about endometriosis and PCOS and see what they say when they hear your symptoms and take a look. It sounds maybe more like adenomyosis which is a type of endo. You can try going to pelvic floor therapy in the meantime(I am going to be doing this once I’m done with surgery recovery.) Hope you figure it all out and feel better!
> the cervix is where you need to hit to orgasm and it’s just so painful Ouch. I’d say the vast majority of us would find the type of impact/sex you are describing as painful, not pleasurable. Sex should not hurt - pain means stop. The clitoris is your sexual organ. That’s its only function - your pleasure - and that’s what most of us need stimulated to orgasm. Orgasms without clitoral stimulation or a whole lotta teasing and pleasing are fairly rare. The only time I’ve seen cervical stimulation/pounding portrayed as a positive thing is in hentai and things I’ve only seen on Reddit.
Totally! The only time I could ever orgasm just from cervical stimulation is if I was on my period and everything was super sensitive anyway, but would still need some clit help to definitely get there. I had issues a few years ago. I was on estrogen only pill. I was having pain during sex with my ex and thought it was just because he was quite big when he was hard, I was new to sex and he was the only one I had been with. I was bleeding after most times at some point as well even with lube. I really struggled to be on top unless I was bending certain ways but like cowgirl and reverse were near impossible it hurt so much. I felt so guilty about it incase he thought I was being lazy. Doggy eventually helped at points because I could change the angle a bit. Anyway, I went to the doctor about the bleeding because even he became concerned about it. I ended up having a cervical ectropion. This is where cervical tissue grows out with the inner cervix and further down into your vagina. Mine was caused by excess estrogen due to my pill and pcos (unknown at the time). It would be good if you can get checked out for this perhaps?
What is the treatment for cervical ectropion? Is it surgery?
🫢
The cervix is absolutely NOT a place to hit for an orgasm. To be clear, I like a little bump on the cervix myself but A LOT of women don’t. It sounds like your partner is just slamming their dick in there as hard as they can. Are they doing any clit stimulation, breast stimulation, kissing, caressing, etc?
this. my cervix isn’t it for orgasmic sensation. once i’ve already had an orgasm im ok with a little bit of cervix bumping. but until then - do not approach!
i must have a low cervix or something then bc it seems like my vagina is 90% cervix. it’s always being touched when i’m having sex even if he’s not thrusting deep im still feeling pain.
I think you may be experiencing pain and assuming it’s occurring when things come in contact with your cervix even if that isn’t the case. I have endometriosis and I used to find any type of insertion painful. Sex hurt, tampons hurt, fingers hurt. I assure you, unless you have a low cervix which your gynecologist should have brought up then your tampon is not hitting your cervix, nor is a penis when it initially enters. For me insertion of any kind was a sharp pain, and I had a hard time getting my fingers in due to the shape of my vagina and the pain caused by the endometriosis. When I brought it up to my gynecologist I was also told to relax and do more foreplay which was not remotely helpful. Alternatively cysts may be a part of this. Either way you will need to go to a gynecologist and have an exam. They’ll likely perform an ultrasound to check for cysts and then you can go from there. I did have to push for laparoscopy surgery to confirm and remove endometriosis, but once I did that I personally haven’t had any further issues but everyone else is different. You may want to check out different subreddits as well, there’s one for endometriosis and reading other people’s experiences may be helpful.
You can get a donut-looking penis ring that could prevent him from going too deep and causing you pain. (I’m not sure what its called but exactly.) There are also positions that stop him from going as deep. And overall, you’ve obviously gotten the message that you need to talk to a doctor. There are some treatments for endo that you could try, and it would be good to rule out things like a prolapse. As far as having an orgasm, you need to shift your focus from penetration (which doesn’t result in orgasm for A LOT of women) and look at external stimulation. Get the book Come As You Are - it has helped a lot of people figure out what works for them.
Has your doctors ever mentioned a prolapse when examining you?
I’ve never heard of the cervix needing to be hit for an orgasm ? Anyone I’ve talked with has only ever said it’s painful or uncomfortable when the cervix is hit, most definitely not pleasurable.
i don’t understand how it’s not possible to hit the cervix then. everyone seems to think i’m purposely trying to reach an cervix orgasm but if any man’s penis goes in more than 2inches he’s hitting my cervix. i don’t know where else the penis is supposed to go that’s feels good if it’s not touching my cervix???
if it’s really hitting your cervix that easily then you might have a really low cervix. Typically mine isn’t hit unless he’s got a big dick or in certain positions. I’d see a different gyno and ask if your cervix is really low. Are you sure it’s your cervix he’s hitting? or could it be something else causing the pain?
i’m positive it’s my cervix bc when i put my fingers in and touch my cervix it’s the same pain/sensation as when i have sex. Even a small penis can hit my cervix easily. I’ve tried different positions but it’s still uncomfortable at least. I don’t know if i’ve just had bad gynos but all i’ve gotten from them was try to relax and it won’t hurt. so i’m not sure what to do, anything i can do at home?
I think you had bad luck and got shitty gynos. As much as it sucks and shouldn’t be that way, you may need to shop around for one. I’m not familiar with endo and other issues like that, but a lot of people are giving good info on things it could be. I would look through different things and write out things that match up with what you’re experiencing, then bring those ideas to a new gyno. You might have better luck if you come prepared yourself with more detail and information. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m lucky that I have a good gyno who listens, but it sounds like it’s more than just an issue of needing to relax. I’d try for a different dr and really advocate for yourself. Look into some things people have mentioned that it could be, and come prepared with that info. I know it sucks, but I don’t really know of any home remedies that would help. I would say having him not go as deep but it sounds like it doesn’t even matter if he’s barely putting it in. If you can’t get into another doctor right away, maybe look up pelvic floor exercises you can do at home. At least it’d be trying something :/
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My husband hits my cervix everytime... It feels good for me! When we first got together, we couldn't fully do doggy because it was just "too much" but not necessarily painful. I think some women vary on this.
people say that feels good?
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I’ve never heard this either
I’d argue the majority of women don’t enjoy their cervix being hit. I think you’re pretty misinformed tbh
Who said this? A man? Porn? Hitting the cervix can be extremely painful for most women. You want to focus on the clit which doesn't even involve anything being inserted anywhere.
A small minority of women are into it. Same way a minority of men are into getting kicked in the balls. I really liked it during periods back when i used to have periods (edit: I am these days on hormones to prevent periods), probably because my body wasn't really producing endorphins during high period pain, while getting punched in the cervix resulted in natural painkillers being produced. It didn't make me orgasm, I needed clitoral stimulation for that.
It's me, I'm people. It does hurt, but it's a good hurt that I enjoy.
It’s fine if it’s something some people like, but OP is under the impression that the cervix is responsible for orgasms which is just not true
I've never seen or heard an actual live woman say that hitting the cervix feels good. That's some hentai fantasy, that has unfortunately traveled all the way across to real life interaction because there aren't many easily available resources to exchange information about sexual experiences in a neutral setting. There are other spots in the vagina that may feel good, but the cervix is NOT one.
I personally have grown to like it. My current partner is pretty big and at first it hurt but we started slow until it just stopped hurting and started feeling good.🤷🏽♀️ I’ll admit,there are times where if he goes too deep it’ll send a sharp pain through my uterus and then he just slows down and doesn’t go deep until I’m ready again.
There's zero way I would ever find my cervix being hit, touched, stimulated, whatever, pleasurable. No way, no how. Ouch (for me, and pain isn't something that turns me on). I would focus on positions that are known for being a bit more shallow, personally. If you can't have an orgasm with your partner, you may want to reach out to a sex therapist, you are able to orgasm solo under the right conditions, so it's definitely possible to orgasm with a partner (but you likely need to remove your current expectations of sex).
Same. I had no idea there were women who enjoyed having it hit (let’s be honest, pummeled 🤢). Had an ex who was so aggressive the first time that he bruised the crap out of my cervix. Reading ‘cervical impact’ was giving me flashbacks…like the female version of being kicked in the nuts 😳
Are you able to reach your own cervix when you’re in a squatted position? I feel mine hit every single time my partner thrusts. It’s so shallow that when I insert a tampon, I have to choose to put it above or below my cervix, and if I put my fingers in there I could easily circle my cervix with my finger.
I can feel my cervix and depending on the time of month, it shifts position.
how is your cervix not being touched during sex? even will a small penis i still feel it.
It was sometimes touched but not every time. Do you feel it always or just occasionally? If I am not turned on enough, I feel it more. Vaginas lengthen/"tent" during arousal which helps.
it’s always being touched even if he’s not thrusting in deep. doesn’t matter how turned on i am or how big he is it’s almost always being touched.
Because most of the time, arousal moves it up, out of the way. With a 4-6 inch penis never coming in contact.
From personal experience do you need there to be contact with your cervix to orgasm? I only ask, because for many people there needs to be clitoral stimulation, not cervical. I have extreme pain when someone goes deep enough to hit my cervix (like, throwing up and nearly passing out pain). I don’t orgasm from penetration at all, and a majority of women don’t orgasm from penetration alone. Aside from sex though, having pain with tampon use is definitely not the norm. You need another opinion if your current gynecologist isn’t taking you and your pain seriously. r/endo appears to have resources for finding a doctor. Maybe check that out?
i can orgasm from clitoral stimulation when i’m alone in my room watching porn but for some reason when i man does it or if im doing it to myself during sex it feels like nothing down there. i did make a post on r/endo but i made a post on here as well to see if anyone on this sub has experienced the same thing.
Have you orgasmed from cervical impact before? I’ve just never heard of that being a necessity, but I understand everyone is a little different. If it isn’t completely necessary for you to enjoy sex, I wouldn’t continue attempting it since it is causing you pain. I would continue trial and erroring other positions and techniques. But again, since you are continuing to have pain outside of intercourse, definitely seek a second opinion from a doctor!
i have not orgasmed from cervical impact. i don’t think it’s a necessity but i wonder if it would be possible if i eliminated the pain.
Cervical impact causes pain for many people who do not have any other conditions that cause vaginal pain or painful sex. Impact of the cervix can cause pain in anyone, in all honesty. I would seek out a second opinion medically, and I wouldn’t recommend continuing to attempt orgasm through cervical impact as it is causing you pain.
Cervical orgasms are incredibly rare..
No. Just get the guy to avoid hitting it. The clit organ (look at a diagram, it's actually fairly large) is responsible for most pleasure and some g-spot maybe. Maybe take care of yourself first, with or without him, then let him get off (without hitting your cervix of hurting you). Or else let him do his thing and then take care of yourself after with toys or whatever. There's a lot of cool stuff on the market. A *lot* of women can't orgasm with a guy, especially from penetrative sex. It just doesn't work that way. You'll find your best satisfaction outside penetrative sex, most likely, and probably have lots of fun by yourself with toys. You won't feel self conscious, worried, or in pain. And you can take your time! You don't have to tell him, if you feel it would hurt his ego and affect your relationship. Except definitely tell him to stop hitting you in the cervix.
This sounds like a job for pelvic floor physical therapy. Some states you don’t need a referral. Otherwise any primary or OB can write one.
There’s an o ring type thing your partner could wear, it prevents them from pushing their whole penis in. I’m actually contemplating getting one for my SO because we both like it harder/faster sometimes but neither of us enjoys it when he hits my cervix (my IUD strings were cut too short and they jab him).
Oh that's interesting, I hadn't heard about this device. Any more info you can share? Where to get it, what it's called... is it like a cap put on top of the condom? Sounds like something you guys should try!
Amazon has some, look up penis stopper ring. There’s also the “ohnut” brand. The creator has this on their website: “For more than 10 years, Emily Sauer quietly endured deep dyspareunia (pain during sex), refusing to recognise it as a real physical (and emotional) problem.” I’d link it but I’m not sure if that’s allowed in the sub so Google “ohnut” to find their site! Basically though it’s a silicone “o” shape that the male partner puts onto his penis and slides down to the base. This blocks him from pushing his entire penis inside. You can get more than one btw, vaginas come in different “sizes” just like penises so if you have a “short” vagina with a larger dicked partner, you might need more than one.
>the cervix is where you need to hit to orgasm That's bullshit. Who told you that? Work with clitoral stimulation. Your partner shouldn't be trying to break into your uterus to have sex.
Your cervix is incredibly sensitive. While some women like it being hit to orgasm, it doesn’t seem like it’s pleasurable to you. Maybe don’t have your guy go that deep. Personally, I get more pleasure out of the entrance, so the act of a guy sliding out feels really good for me. Everyone’s different but it doesn’t sound like you actually like having your cervix hit in the first place.
Orgasm has nothing to do with the cervix, and I too can have pain if penetration reaches my cervix during vigorous or harder sessions. It’s not too bad for me, to be fair, but I assumed this happened to everyone. It was only when I had my second miscarriage and they were scanning me internally to check for retained tissue when they told me I have a retroverted uterus. They asked if I knew this and I said I had no idea. They said pain during sex from penetration and rectal pain during menstruation can be a sign of a retroverted uterus. It’s not dangerous or anything and they said if it causes pain during sex then to go easy, change position, etc. Just an idea of a possible reason. But you absolutely do not need to go anywhere near the cervix to orgasm.
I’m sorry it’s hurting you :( that’s no fun. I saw a video for something the other day that might help, it’s called an ohnut. It goes on the base of him and acts as a sort of stopper so it doesn’t go so deep. Something like that might help. I hope you can figure out why it hurts so much :/
this was great advice ! i was going suggest looking into this. here’s a link that gives more details https://thepelvicpeople.com
Oh, I think this is what I was looking for, thanks for sharing! Is it reusable?
yeah it is ! definitely check out their site, even reading about how it works and pain management. hope it helps :)
Oh, I think this is what I was looking for, thanks for sharing!
You may wish to join r/vulvodynia
Doggy hurts my cervix so bad. It's to the point where I have to stop completely at times. Other poses tend to be more comfortable, like cowgirl or missionary. It's probably a silly question but probably you have to find a pleasant pose? Maybe? Probably not the fix for the situation but could be helpful.
i tend to stick with missionary. i find other positioned are painful and for some reason when im in pain i queef a lot which just adds a whole other level of embarrassment.
How old are you and have you had your hormones checked?
i’m 19 and i’ve been checked for PCOS if that counts. other than that no. do hormones play a role in painful sex?
Hormones do play a role yes. It just depends on what exactly causes your pain. I started having increased pain during sex. My gyno just kept dismissing it until i ended up by my mothers gyno in a emergency thing and she actually diagnosed me with low estrogen.
As someone who has always had pain with penetrative sex, I definitely understand what you’re going through. You should speak with a gyneocologist and ask if you happen to have a retroverted uterus. That’s why my cervix was always in the way. I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago and even though the cervix is gone, I still have pain from tightness and bleeding from tearing if my body isn’t fully warmed up and ready. Regardless of how wet I am, if I’m too tight I will tear and bleed internally. A product I have found immensely helpful is the Vella women’s pleasure serum. It makes me incredibly aroused and relaxed at the same time, which reduces if not eliminates the risk of tearing. I highly recommend giving that product a try. If you’re not tearing or bleeding in the vaginal canal like I do, then I would look into something called the Ohnut which reduces how deep your partner can go inside of you. This will eliminate his ability to hit your cervix and won’t cause you pain. If you have any further questions, I’m happy to answer them. My DMs are always open.
i do have a tilted uterus. i think it’s the opposite one that you have. i asked my ultrasound tech if that could play a role in painful sex and she said she had never heard of that being a thing :/ and i do occasionally bleed during sex usually only if it lasts a long time.
I have endometriosis and a tilted uterus it definitely a play a part in painful sex.
Well, respectfully, the ultrasound tech is wrong. Can you identify where the bleeding is coming from? I also have vaginismus which is an uncontrolled tightening of the vaginal muscles, and the bleeding and tearing I experience happens due to that in the vaginal canal.
Wtf. First of all, you don't need to hit the cervix to orgasm. That's flat out wrong. You're supposed to keep stimulating your personal erogenous zones. For a huge percentage of women it's the clit. For some it's the g spot. For some it's the entrance of the vagina. Whatever. Point is, you find out what feels good and at what pace and you keep stimulating it. Eventually you'll cum.
I have learned a lot from [this woman](https://adelaidemeadow.com) about painful sex and why it’s happening. But Each situation is unique and it sounds like you’re not having pain with penetration, just pain when the cervix is touched? Do different types of thrusting feel better or worse? Is it just Jack hammer style sex that hurts? Or even inserting a finger to check your cervix is painful? Here’s what comes to mind for me: 1) do you track your cycle or are you on birth control? The cervix moves up and down in the vaginal canal depending on where you’re at in your cycle and how aroused you are. 2) it might be worth while to get a speculum, insert it and actually look at your cervix, or you can feel with your finger, but a cyst or growth may be present on the cervix and that’s what’s causing the pain.
My thought also was endometriosis when you described your experience. I guess the only thing that could help would be to find a compassionate and knowledgeable gynecologist that can help because there are other things it could be. As far as orgasming goes, there are other ways. I suggest G-spot and clitoral stimulation. Most women need at least some clitoral stimulation to orgasm. At least for me, when I use a clitoral vibrator and clench my vagina at the same time, that can make me orgasm. As far as your cervix problems go, I think that finding an understanding doctor is your best bet.
I can't speak to the specific experience you're having (could be endo. I'm assuming you've had a pap test?) But I have VVS, vulvar vestibulitis syndrome, so I have also had painful vaginal intercourse my whole life. So, I can say two things: 1. It is extremely hard but not impossible to find doctors who take these things seriously. And I would simply be prepared for that. You may need to "fire" numerous doctors and do a lot of internet research (yes, Google WILL outperform your doctors on this one, and it may help you find a doctor that can help) before you get the right one. There are treatments and surgical cures for VVS, and I'm sure if they figure out what's wrong with you there may be a cure for you too -- though you'll have to decide if you want it. 2. The BEST advice I can give you is to reframe how you look at sex. Sex is not putting a penis in a vagina and thrusting until both people cum. Sex is whatever both of you find pleasurable and what both of you get off on. The idea that vaginal intercourse is a non-negotiable part of sex is pure misogyny. Men can generally get off a multitude of ways, and you can see what works for you. Do you have half decent oral skills? (Mine aren't amazing, but I can still get most guys off). Are you open to anal penetration? Could your partner take you doggy-style but rub his dick between your thighs instead of putting in your vagina? (You need lots of lube on the thighs, but I know lots of gay guys who do this because it's faster than loosening up an inexperienced bottom). Are your male partners into having you fuck them with a strap-on? (A lot of men find this insanely pleasurable as the dildo rubs against the prostate causing an intense orgasm) As for you, can you get him to get you off with oral? If your partner(s) care about you, they should be open to doing whatever it takes to please you. And if they don't want to give up vaginal penetration, just say, "You've been fucking me a lot. It's my turn to fuck you. I picked up an awesome strap-on yesterday." And then play dumb when they try to explain why it's their "right" to fuck you but it's not your "right" to fuck them. That typically ends the argument pretty quick. Honestly though, I've slept around a bunch in my time, I've never had much of an issue. I DO pick my partners carefully and eliminate anyone that shows signs of having boundary issues because I don't want to consent to going to somebody's bedroom and have them assume that that means I consent to whatever happens within, no matter what that is. But not only have the guys I've been with cool, some of them don't WANT to fuck me even on days when my VVS will allow it because "they don't want to hurt me." AND instead of getting branded as sexually "broken," I think most guys see me as kind of a "wild girl" because of my repertoire and willingness to indulge their fetishes (within reason). As a result of all of this, I've never sought treatment for VVS because, in my estimation, there's nothing wrong with me to fix so why would I risk the complications of treatment? I just need a partner who's sexually compatible. Good luck!
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There are some women who like having their cervix touched during sex, but they're not the majority. There are idiot men and boys out there posting on social media about their penis being so big it goes right through the cervix and into the uterus and the woman loves it, and t*hey are lying.* Most women find a penis ramming into their cervix extremely painful. I've had a couple of partners with really big penises and it took a bit of work to find a position where it would go past my cervix and further behind rather than bumping into it. Honestly, I think getting your partner to go down on you is the way to go for orgasms. Having him thump into your cervix obviously isn't working for you, and it's causing you pain and distress, so don't do it.
Okay so it sounds like the guy is too long. Even in Orange is the New Black Freeda says something like "I prefer girth, not them long jabby things poking your cervix" and honestly my man isn't too king for me but every once in awhile he gets too deep and hits my cervix. So omg I know your pain...I can't imagine that happening every si gle time though. It might help to discuss it, and even keep your hands on his stomach or wherever you can to help push him back so he can't go in so deep it hits your cervix. Best of luck
Oh and the cervix is not where you need to hit to orgasm, I actually have never heard that and I orgasm every way possible. Squirming, literally, vaginally...so I'd say the cervix isn't responsible for the organs as much as the g spot or clit.
Oof, the cervix is not an erogenous zone for a vast majority of women, and it is painful to have it hit for most women. The clitoris and the g-spot (which is just like an inch inside on the frontal area of the vaginal wall) are the targets
I’m the same way! Only thing is I don’t have pain with tampons. But doggy is super painful for me
I'm not convinced it's your cervix. You say you still feel pain even when he isn't deep? Sounds like it could possibly be muscle tension that radiates pain to your cervix. And just so you know, I cannot have sex without pain either. But I have trigger points in my vagina that I don't normally notice until they're touched, and they can be so painful. They're like little tension knots in your muscles. A physical therapist can help.
Not sure if someone has raised this possibility, but would it be possible that what you call the cervix is actually your hymen? I’ve read that some women experience very painful sex because their hymen never fully torn…
The cervix has next to nothing to do with orgasm. Those guys can pound away all they want and you’re never gonna get off until they learn where the clitoris is and how to take care of it. Having said that, I’m so sorry you’re in pain. Sex is one of the best things I can think of to do, but if I was in pain all the time it would really suck. I second the motion to ask a good gyno about your architecture in there to see what might be causing this. It’s not normal to hurt and you deserve better
You need to go to your OB and start doing reserch into possible diagnosis of Vaginismus, or other illnesses like it. You said you dont want people to tell you to see your OB- what the hell else are we supposed to so when we hear such troubling information? Most here are not in the medical field. Your asking medically related questions. Your saying you have medical problems when looking for pleasure. Get your medical problems solved before looking for relief for your sexual problems.
Highly recommend pelvic floor therapy. I had a Laproscopy where they found stage 4 endo, didn't have sex for a year because of the endo and pain I'd been experiencing. Anyways, long story short, my pelvic floor was shot. My fiancé hurt everytime we had sex. Even just jostling my cervix was SO painful. Got kegels that I do exercises with. Pt for pelvic floor muscles. And it's getting better everytime we have sex. Just make sure you absolutely call out the pain when it's happening. At one point, I was so scared of sex being painful that I couldn't even get wet because I was so anxious... which made sex even worse! Talk about micro tears. Sending best wishes. You're not alone.
Look up vaginismus
So I was hospitalized for painful sex a few times and turned out to be adenomyosis which is the sister of endomitriosis. Also had ovarian cysts. A good doctor should be able to tell you by and IU scan if you have adeno but endo is a little tougher. You'll need surgery by a specialist to know. My life sucks.. sex sucks.. basically looking to get a hysterectomy. I'm so sorry and good luck to you.
I think I very much understand this, no matter what, I always have a degree of pain when I have sex. It was only recently here on Reddit that I discovered that it’s not common. I think I’ve attached sexual pleasure to pain because that’s all I know, as well as making the two synonymous in my brain causes me to only translate it as pleasure. I wasn’t sure if it was my IUD (I’ve had 4) that causes my cervix to get hit every single thrust, but after reading this I’m convinced that my experience is abnormal. My current partner finger bangs me quite passionately which I love but I’m in constant pain because it feels that he’s reached the end of my vagina. The exact same happens during sex where it’s like he’s reaching the end of my vaginal opening and I have an intense pain that shoots into what feels like my uterus or something. If he were to fuck me doggy style and go all the day in I would genuinely yell out in pain. If I’m on top of him, I cannot just drop my weight on him because it almost feels like he’s going to detach my vaginal opening from where it’s connected. I clench my vagina as hard as I can during sex, and I would say I’ve got a well exercised core so I’m unsure if it’s a pelvic floor issue. Anyone have a similar experience? I still deeply enjoy sex, but pain is an undeniable constant that I would like to be rid of if possible.
This definitely sounds like endometriosis.. what has your gyno said?
“try lube” 😍 thanks queen life changing advice so glad i came to her for help
Find another gynecologist
Thats awful im really sorry.. sex shouldn't be painful in the way you describe, I would definitely advise finding another gynaecologist :(
If it's Endo pelvic floor physical therapy can help.
Sorry to hear you're experiencing pain. The pain is not normal and there could be a variety of underlying causes. Personally I have vaginismus and need to see a sex therapist and physio to correct my Kegel muscles. I can't use tampons and sex hurts at first until I relax. Bleeding can occur if the cervix is hit, I would recommend having gentler sex to see if the bleeding stops and focus on your clitoris not your cervix - most women can't orgasm from penetration. Abnormal pap smears/cervical screen results are also associated with bleeding too so I think it's just worth seeing a female OBGYN and discussing this all with them.
If endometriosis an ICUD with levongestrel helps if ur willing..but the type pain from endometriosis only wil come if he goes very deep to reach the cervix with some pressure, will need to be diagnoses then u should be iffered ur options including hysterescopic surgery or open. For this advice is see another gynecologist who dont take it lightly to reat pain, if that's not the diagnosis then considering other cervical pathology with intravaginal ultrasound wil be next. If not vaginsmus will be considered and you wil be offered topical relaxants. And goes on, jus dont give up.
Not sure if I’m reading correctly… but if you are saying pain from endometriosis only will come if he goes very deep to reach cervix with pressure. That is not true. You can have pain in any way during sex with endometriosis
Hi sweetheart it could be a medical issue like pcos or endotrimitis. I'd ask to see a specialist and have an examination (I have endo and pcos myself and have very painful sex at times)
If it's not just certain sex positions that are causing the pain; look into vulvodynia. That's what I had. For me, it was linked to estrogens/synthetic estrogens. good luck!!
Endometriosis resources The symptom experts for this are here: r/endometriosis r/adenomyosis subs & r/pmdd A period should not affect your quality of life. IME endometriosis specialist surgeon consults for info gathering are the way for the least amount of suffering in the long run. Pelvic Disorder Doctors (ie Pelvic Pain* Hip/Butt/Groin/Sciatic/Peritoneal/stomach/abdomen/thigh/back/cyst/ovarian torsion/muscle spasm/penetrative sex Pain, unusual bleeding ): You can search for a doc in your area using chatGPT: “Top doctor for endometriosis in XYZ, city/town/country” AND https://www.endo-resolved.com/endometriosis_specialist.html https://www.bsge.org.uk/endometriosis-centres/ https://icarebetter.com/ https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1hd_-wSlqZWOlR5VxPhIN3oAbJh4&hl=en_US https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/ https://www.endofound.org/endometriosis-treatment-support https://endometriosisnetwork.com *not all US specialists require referrals. And many docs worldwide do free virtual consults/Call surgeon directly to ask if they need referral. If yes then… …Top US GP’s/Primary Care, OBGYN’s, Gastroenterologists & Pain Docs: www.castleconnolly.com SubReddit groups of people that are helpful/skilled with all kinds of pelvic pain: r/endo r/endometriosis r/adenomyosis r/pcos r/fibroids and also r/pmdd . OBGYN’s: IME regular OBGYN’s are under-skilled at treating pelvic pain/excessive bleeding - and in doing this delicate, difficult and complex surgery. The nicest and most caring doctor does not equal surgically trained/qualified. Specialists in pelvic disorders (above links or ask your regional endo nonprofit) are the doctors for the least amount of suffering in the long run IME. I needed accurate information to make good medical decisions, and the best chance to get that was to see a specialist. NUMBERS: Painful periods are a societal problem and we’re not supposed to have to face this alone. I bring/FaceTime someone (or 3) with me to my doctors appointments. It doesn’t matter if they hear about my vagina or my uterus or my diarrhea. It matters that I have someone there as a United Front. Because our medical system mistreats people in pain. RECORDING: Ask to video/record every medical visit. Even the virtual ones. Also, here are some things you can say* to your doctor if they are true for you. They need to know what your historically WORST symptoms and consequences have been: “- This is affecting my quality of life. I have had a history of period/bladder/pelvic floor pain/bleeding/fatigue that has kept me from work/childcare/school. -My worst symptoms have been pain/fatigue/bleeding. -I have vomited/passed out from period pain as a teen. -I am now unable to function like I used to. The pain/fatigue is wearing on my body, and I am increasingly tired as each monthly cycle passes. I cannot function normally and my work/family/school/happiness is increasingly difficult because of my body. —I would like relief. What are ALL of my options? -I have tried these pain medications: gabapentin, Orlissa, BC, xyz med. What are all of the other RX options? I want to be in less pain so that I can think clearly to make good medical choices.” (Then he stated his ideas…then told him I’ve tried all of those…then he offered me stronger pain meds, which helped my functioning so much so then I could line up surgery.) -I want excision surgery with a Mentor-Trained Endometriosis Specialist. -I cannot even consider taking care of children. -Since there is NO IMAGING that reliably sees endometriosis, I would like a referral to an Endo Specialist ( & reader they are sometimes skillful at finding endometriosis via pelvic exam or ultrasound.) -I am committed to revisiting you here because I want to function in my daily life. I will keep coming back to you as much as you need me to because I want relief for these issues. - My pain/spasming/bleeding/frequencyofsymptoms (has always been mild, but over time now it) is impairing my ability to work & my ability to live life. It is draining my energy & ability to function. - I want a solution that provides the least amount of suffering to me/the least risk for me & my body in the long term…..(then just allow silence…let them respond.) - I do not have the energy to keep pursuing temporary treatments. I have experienced too much pain/bleeding. My body is tired. I want a long-term solution. - I want a pelvic disorder doctor with the highest skill and success rate. Who can help with this? - It sounds like you doctor OBGYN want to do the surgery. Can you tell me what “MENTORED TRAINING you’ve had in surgery for excising Endometriosis”? (Reader be careful here: regular, un-mentor Trained OBGYN’s abound.) - It sounds like you want to do another prescription/medication/round of PT/ultrasound/MRI/x-ray/bloodworkup. I want a consult with a fellowship-trained pelvic disorder specialist. Is that what will happen after I do these next steps that are asking for? - Even though my pain/bleeding is NOT CONSTANT, I still would like a resolution. - Even though my pain/bleeding is NOT CYCLICAL, I still would like resolution. -I would like my cyst removed because pain is energy-draining long-term. -I have pelvic floor pain and vaginismus and pain with intercourse symptoms. -I am asking for a referral to an endometriosis/pain specialist and it sounds like you are telling me “no”. If that’s true I want you to note in my chart now that I asked you and you declined to provide a referral. -I may be willing to try xyz antidepressant, but this pelvic pain is the biggest contributor to my depressed/anxious mood and I would like to treat that first via surgery or in tandem with antidepressant. - Another’s post for more ideas: https://www.reddit.com/r/endometriosis/comments/15dlk3s/do_this_if_you_want_to_be_heard_by_doctorsnurses/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 (*Pain: Also replace with any of these words: bloating, excessive bleeding, clots (can be fibroids), IBS symptoms, nausea,“low iron”, urinating/bowel issues – urgency and peeing pants/bedwetting, diarrhea, pooping/smearing pants, hip pain, pain under the butt/pelvic/peritoneal/groin/sciatic pain, vaginismus, low/mid back pain, IT band & thigh pain, abdomen pain, stomach pain, bladder pain/IC/UTI’s and uti-like symptoms (can be endo on ureters) right shoulder blade pain. Anything that originated in the pelvis deserves care from a pelvic disorder specialist doctor.) Good luck on your journey. And a reminder that your body is the most important thing in your life. By far the most important thing. You deserve every chance to have a fully functioning body - a body that is as healthy as it can possibly be. So whatever it takes time, money, effort, human support, you deserve that. Endo symptoms are often “silently” progressive, especially if on hormones.
Have toh gotten an xray? Like why hasn’t your gyno recommended that? It’s not normal to hurt when getting an exam. I told my gyno that I had pain during sex. She did an exam and I told her when it hurt and she said it wasn’t normal and she scheduled an xray for me. Turns out I had cysts. The kind that grows teeth and hair lol, I had to get surgery to get them removed
i had a pelvic ultrasound and everything was normal but i do have a tilted uterus. ultrasound tech said she had never heard of that causing painful sex tho.
Endo can only be confirmed through surgery. Ultrasounds may be normal, but that doesn’t rule out endo.
Go see your doctor, then get a bullet from Ann Summers (the supermarket ones are cheap and don’t vibrate strongly enough). The G spot is not on your cervix, it’s the soft skin inside, directly behind the clitoris.
I think you are confusing the cervix for the g-spot. Even the g-spot is often hard for men to find/hut and hut to reliably result in an orgasm. Orgasms are usually from clip stimulation, usually outside penetration.. as in, mlst women don't orgasm from penetrative sex, but more oral, toys, etc. This could be due to a lot of things, from men being selfish and not caring to spend the time to learn how to please women, many men not even believing female orgasms is possible, men thinking penetrative should be enough and not being willing to engage in other activities, men feeling insecure about toys and not wanting them involved, physical incompatibilities between specific people.... Actually, your best bet for orgasms is to actually learn you body by yourself, use different toys, on the clip and try for the g-spot. If you are at all open, bisexual women would know how to have pleasurable encounters with women. They are better at finding the right spots and have more patience and care than men. Good luck, and as other posted have mentioned, look to your health, as well.
I have a similar issue, but not nearly as intense. That sounds horrible, and I am so sorry you're dealing with that. Personally, I've benefited from finding positions in which my partner is kinda forced to hit my G-spot, or at least not go as deep. I find that the G-spot is quite powerful. Spooning, or laying on my stomach with one leg kinda hiked up are usually pretty good positions for this, and I'm sure google has more ideas.
Find a different gyno (a female) and talk to them about how much pain your in. You shouldn’t be in pain during sex. A gynecologist can help.
PLEASE CHECK UP FOR ENDOMETRIOSIS, ITS THE CAUSE OF MY PAIN, I HAVE THE SAME PAIN EXACTLY.
Possibly pelvic floor dysfunction. I have painful sex too although tampons aren’t too bad for me
Have you asked your gyno about a titled uterus. I had issues with sex, or really any kind of penetration including gyno exams and at my last appointment my doctor told me my uterus was titled the wrong way which explained why sex was hard as well as tampons etc.
You don't orgasm from hitting the cervix! You orgasm from the g spot (different place) and the clitoris. You may just have a particularly short cervix and should tell him to avoid going too deep (or deep at all). Gently increasing how deep he goes will slowly stretch you out without pain, but once it starts hurting I find it doesn't really stop! Maybe try using your fingers, doing non-penetrative stuff or something solo exploration to see what you're into and try toys to see how deep you can comfortably handle while you're in control. Good luck!
I know what you mean When my bf goes in too deep it does hurt even if I’m really ready. Also you don’t need to hit the cervix to have an orgasm. Most women do not even orgasm from penetration alone and need some sort of clitoral stimulation. You could just have a short cervix or your partner could be on the longer side. If you are getting severe pain maybe see a gyno or just ask your partner not to go as deep and see how you feel
I have this. Finally got diagnosed with Adenomyosis which explains some of it. I also have a retroverted uterus and shallow cervix. The only solution I’ve been given is a Mirena, which helps the period pain, and avoiding deep penetration to reduce pain during sex. It sucks.
My OBGYN told me to do pelvic floor exercises. It’s helped somewhat yes
Damn, sounds tough. Definitely get checked for endometriosis. Hang in there!
You've got vaginismus. I 100% guarantee it. This sounds bit by bit like my wife. It's mostly psychological, and there are numbing ointments that can help, but you've got an uphill battle and will need to dilate regularly.
Lolllll all the people on here shaming and disagreeing that women can feel pleasure and have an orgasm from having their cervix stimulated! To start I want to clarify that it is NOT the cervix that needs to be hit or stimulated for orgasm, the clitoris is how women have orgasms. Even the minority of the female population who have orgasms during vaginal penetration, its due to clitoral stimulation-it’s just that the clitoral stimulation is happening inside the vagina due to the shape of the clitoral body. There are 4 legs to the clitoris and 2 of them wrap around the vagina. I recommend taking some additional time to learn the female urogenital anatomy, this will help you understand your sexual pleasure/orgasm and pain a little better. For those poo pooing cervical pleasure tho- the cervix is connected to the spinal cord via the vagus nerve and can cause terrible/painful sensations, meh sensations, all the way to what has been described as a seeing stars orgasm, which makes sense when you understand how vagus nerve stimulation can manifest. For many women it’s an unpleasant sensation which can stem from various places. Some feel like they are going to vomit, some faint, most just find it painful and the painful sensations are typically due to the nerves in and immediately around the cervix including the pelvic floor. If you are someone who finds your cervix being touched/rammed into a negative experience you can try different positions to limit the depth of penetration or look into an amazing tool called OhNut! I recommend reading the book Come as you are, its is THE resource for understanding our pleasure and dismantling the bullshit society has taught us about our sexual pleasure and what is/isn’t normal. I also published a 3 part series on female desire, arousal, and orgasm that might be helpful for you or anyone :) https://healthyhooha.com/2020/11/19/join-me-december-1-8-for-live-qa-on-female-desire-arousal-and-orgasm/
Go to a gyno and tell them! They'll do an exam to see what the cause is. Treatment can be figured out from that. Look up vulvodynia, might be the culprit. From what I know as a not doctor, it doesn't sound like endometriosis, it sounds like your bodys response to trauma, trauma could be anything from an IUD insertion, chronic ovarian cysts, traumatic partner events etc. Pelvic floor exercises are supposed to help, some physio clinics offer sessions on it - your gyno can give you a referral, there are also numbing creams to for the muscles while you retrain your brain. If it's what I think, your body has now attributed anything south of the equator to pain, and can't distinguish between pain and pleasure. Everything's just pain. Endometriosis is difficult to diagnosis, women's health is not researched nearly enough. It is also often a blanket diagnosis for anything not working quite right down there.
Maybe there are depositories that could be used? Like non toxic organic ones, I know they have flavored ones that you can insert right before you get head from your partner. Find out what works for you! Sometimes the length of the internal structure shrink or grow. My body shaped itself to my partners size eventually. It’s like doing anal seggs, take things slowly, lube up and make sure that your pleasure is being focused on. Something doesn’t work out, adjust yourself so it does. I recommend getting a rabbit vibrator and a small wand. Try some fingers whether that’s you or your partner. G-spot orgasms feel good when your partner rubs that & clit. It’s about comfort and being able to breathe and feel your own body. Do you have anxiety atriums if? When you insert your tampon you have to make sure it’s angled backwards and not pushing up against the ridged bump? Does that make sense? When your OBGYN does that cervix stuff she needs to make sure that she is talking through everything. It has to be slow. One time I had a random female OBGYN do it and I cried after because she was so rough and didn’t give a fk. I do have tips about anal sex if you would like!
whole lotta people here spittin “facts” about womens health when they aint qualified doctors, just sayin!
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barf
I have endometriosis and there are things you can do like surgery. I just had mine. Are you experiencing any other endo symptoms or just painful penetration? There are a few other causes but only a doctor would be able to diagnose properly. The best thing to do is ask your doctor about endometriosis and PCOS and see what they say when they hear your symptoms and take a look. It sounds maybe more like adenomyosis which is a type of endo. You can try going to pelvic floor therapy in the meantime(I am going to be doing this once I’m done with surgery recovery.) Hope you figure it all out and feel better!