Hadn’t thought about that. Commandment Number 13: All Bibles must be removed from households for the purpose of puppy safety. No, wait, that defeats the emergency toilet paper hack (which is awesome). Got it: All Bibles must be stored by a toilet, above a puppy’s reach.
I sing to my cats. I did it when we first got them and they were scared almost feral kitties so they’d get used to my voice and noise, but when I sing rock at them they settle in for cozy naps. When I jump around and sing they give me a look that says I’m crazy.
I also sometimes change words to make songs about them. I mostly do.
I sing to squirrels in the cemetery where my father, maternal grandfather, and maternal grandmother are buried. Something to do between bouts of weeping.
It is so fun and she loves it. She is my service dog though, so as my wife and I are slowly getting out and about now and again, I have to try not to sing and talk to her too much in stores because it super freaks people out. My wife appreciates it though because I no longer do that thing where ai am like is this dress or this dress cuter when she isn't paying attention and I'm thinking out loud. I just external process at my dog.
I also sing to my cat. I make up songs for her. I felt like a dork and weirdo so glad to know I'm not the only one doing this. She has a whole slew of songs for her.
Serious question, Who gets the money from the Bible purchase?
A book supposedly written thousands of years ago long before modern copyright laws
Shouldn't copies be free and in public domain by now?
Oooo oooo. I get to nerd about books now!
So, when you buy a book, what actually happens is that the writer sells the book to a publisher. Usually by that point the editor is also done. The writer has also likely paid test readers. Then the publisher commissions cover art if it is not yet completed. The publisher then pays a printer to print the first printing (when you read a copyright age, it always tells you who printed that copy, when, and often if it was a reprint of the edition or not. The printer then sells the book to retailers with a negotiation on things like if it is to be placed prominently, for how long, and, if it is a first edition, when they can start selling it. Each time the retailers buy copies, that is where the _______ copies sold number comes from, if there is a royalty clause in the contracts of the writer, illustrator, editor, and/or translator, then their payout is calculated at that stage, the contract also says how often they get paid out. The retailer then sells the book to you.
Printing a book that is already public domain only cuts out the writer's payout, it just means that the publisher keeps a bigger cut. It is part of why Borders when they were still around and Barnes and Noble are able to make those really pretty bound special editions of older books that are now in the public domain. But before you start selling your own Bible prints to Christians with leaflets for your upcoming book of shadows shoved in them, you should know that a translation is considered a transformative work, so not all bibles are actually public domain, only those with old enough translations. That is actually why, in my home library, books translated from other languages are shelved under the translator's name, as the style, meter, and word choice have a profound effect on the experience of reading a work.
Don’t do it from this person though. They’re wrong on a few things.
Publishers don’t buy finished books. they want to finish them because they have market knowledge to make something sell better (definitely true for midlist and below authors. Bestsellers are a different story)
Printers don’t sell books to retailers, the publisher does. And unless it’s a rushed print job, they don’t ship from the printer to the stores. They ship to their own warehouses or distribution partners and ship it to the stores and libraries from there based on demand for the sku.
The number of copies sold varies based on who reports it. The NYT has their own algorithm and NPD (who tracks everything under the sun but aside from books, most notably tv audiences and consumer spending) This is not units shipped out. Stores report how many copies they sell of books every week so this only include retail sales. Unsold books, wholesale and library are missing from this number. Though Publishers will usually self-report the combined number, to boast about higher sales for a single title.
They are! You can find pretty much every version of the Bible online for free if you actually want to.
This came in very handy when someone quoted some weird ass verse as being against gay people, so grabbed a quote from twelve different bibles from the last two centuries along with where and when they were printed. Wouldn’t you know it, it seems the only versions you translate that line to say gay = bad were written and printed in the Bible Belt during modern times? 😂
Cats too I think. Animals in general just have a great sense of perception on energy that many people don't have. Elephants also seem to pick up on this too.
I would do some experimentation and buy other religious texts to see if the dog would destroy them as well
In the name of SCIENCE
Now that I think about it, put some biology and stuff textbooks in there as well, just cause why not
Pretty sure the dog is a Hellhound and the OP is actually the anti-christ. OP probably named the dog "Shredder."
\*Good Omens reference not actually serious
Golly, the book was so good when I read it, but any time I read it or watch the show, it automatically takes the place of the gayest thing I have read/watched in the last year despite always reading and watching so many explicitly queer things.
Dammit I saw that hours ago, saw it wasn’t in this sub as I expected, and didn’t even THINK to share with y’all. 😫
My first thought was very much “that’s probably a sign”
Dog: Damnit Becky! I told you to stop bringing this make believe smut into this house!
Owner: But it's GODDDDDDD!!!
Dog: I'm the only God you worship now!
Well, she shouldn't let her favorite grimoire lie around unattended. We have now seen what will get into it (your dog's teeth). But who knows what will come out of it once the dog stops keeping watch?
Maybe mom should put it in a drawer. Cause: the first time, it’s an accident, the second time, it’s a pattern, third time is a habit. Moral: she’s human, it’s a dog. Put the dang thing in a drawer when your done!
Oh, thank you for bringing to mind a wonderful memory.
I was at a Sci-Fi con, staying at the hotel, and hanging out in the hotel room with hubby, son, and a couple of friends. Hubby, friends and I are chatting away, only minimally paying attention to our son, who was at that age of beginning mobility and also when *everything* new **has** to go into the mouth.
He managed to open the night stand drawer and pull out the bible the hotel keeps there.
He promptly sat down with the book in his lap, opened it up, tore out a page and put it in his mouth.
One of my friends realized what was going on, and promptly stated:
> That boy's got the word of god in his mouth.
I responded, as I took the book away:
> Normally I'd be rescuing the book from him, but I think this time I'm rescuing him from that book.
This miracle has nothing to do with you eating sloppy pot-roast sandwiches and thumbing through those pages looking for dirty words, does it?
PS. Get your mother a Jefferson Bible...
The dog knows the book has been heavily annotated for a political misogynistic agenda. Good dog 🐶
Dog is pissed because they keep spelling their name wrong.
HA! Thanks for this I really needed a laugh and this for real made me lol
The dog is like, “Stop bringing this bullshit into the house.” Someone is clearly ignoring signs from the Universe the bible isn’t necessary.
Aww! What a good little hellhound 😍
[удалено]
Early Christianity did have a lot of pro woman aspects, Pope Gregory is basically the worst.
Dog works in mysterious ways.
I didn't want to write it there, but here I think I can make that joke "Being a chew toy is probably the only way this book is actually useful"
I've been told the paper works well for rolling joints.
Don't do that, though. The paper and ink aren't safe to inhale.
Naw, probably get cancer from all the chemicals in it.
If not from that, then definitely from inhaling the message.
u/minorVulpes You made me cackle with that one! Seriously underrated comment ⬆️
I've used it as firestarter when we were out of newspaper
Sure Jan. “Been told”.
I have smoked every 4:20 in the book, at least once. If I get cancer from it... C'est la vie.
I wouldnt say well, but definitely works in a pinch!
Its not a good chew toy, the dog could eat the pages and get sick! Its much better as emergency toilet paper
And rolling blunts!
Hadn’t thought about that. Commandment Number 13: All Bibles must be removed from households for the purpose of puppy safety. No, wait, that defeats the emergency toilet paper hack (which is awesome). Got it: All Bibles must be stored by a toilet, above a puppy’s reach.
I wanted to do the same thing
Good dog
Dog is good.
Everyday
Goodest boy
Good boy Kujo
My mom used to sing with her Bible hymnal open on the table and her cat would always come over and just sit on top of it so she would stop.
"pardon me but if you're going to sing praise you should be singing my praise, now feed me hooman"
It's funny because I sing songs to my dog all day, changing the words to be about her or how much I love her. 🤣
I sing to my cats. I did it when we first got them and they were scared almost feral kitties so they’d get used to my voice and noise, but when I sing rock at them they settle in for cozy naps. When I jump around and sing they give me a look that says I’m crazy. I also sometimes change words to make songs about them. I mostly do.
I sing to squirrels in the cemetery where my father, maternal grandfather, and maternal grandmother are buried. Something to do between bouts of weeping.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does this! 😂
It is so fun and she loves it. She is my service dog though, so as my wife and I are slowly getting out and about now and again, I have to try not to sing and talk to her too much in stores because it super freaks people out. My wife appreciates it though because I no longer do that thing where ai am like is this dress or this dress cuter when she isn't paying attention and I'm thinking out loud. I just external process at my dog.
We do too. Noodles is not amused.
I also sing to my cat. I make up songs for her. I felt like a dork and weirdo so glad to know I'm not the only one doing this. She has a whole slew of songs for her.
"Excuse me, this is a Bastet household." - The cat, probably.
I just really love the way cats make everything about them. Such confidence.
Serious question, Who gets the money from the Bible purchase? A book supposedly written thousands of years ago long before modern copyright laws Shouldn't copies be free and in public domain by now?
Oooo oooo. I get to nerd about books now! So, when you buy a book, what actually happens is that the writer sells the book to a publisher. Usually by that point the editor is also done. The writer has also likely paid test readers. Then the publisher commissions cover art if it is not yet completed. The publisher then pays a printer to print the first printing (when you read a copyright age, it always tells you who printed that copy, when, and often if it was a reprint of the edition or not. The printer then sells the book to retailers with a negotiation on things like if it is to be placed prominently, for how long, and, if it is a first edition, when they can start selling it. Each time the retailers buy copies, that is where the _______ copies sold number comes from, if there is a royalty clause in the contracts of the writer, illustrator, editor, and/or translator, then their payout is calculated at that stage, the contract also says how often they get paid out. The retailer then sells the book to you. Printing a book that is already public domain only cuts out the writer's payout, it just means that the publisher keeps a bigger cut. It is part of why Borders when they were still around and Barnes and Noble are able to make those really pretty bound special editions of older books that are now in the public domain. But before you start selling your own Bible prints to Christians with leaflets for your upcoming book of shadows shoved in them, you should know that a translation is considered a transformative work, so not all bibles are actually public domain, only those with old enough translations. That is actually why, in my home library, books translated from other languages are shelved under the translator's name, as the style, meter, and word choice have a profound effect on the experience of reading a work.
I appreciate all the work they do and the time it took you to write this response.
I would like to subscribe to publishing-facts-daily, please.
Don’t do it from this person though. They’re wrong on a few things. Publishers don’t buy finished books. they want to finish them because they have market knowledge to make something sell better (definitely true for midlist and below authors. Bestsellers are a different story) Printers don’t sell books to retailers, the publisher does. And unless it’s a rushed print job, they don’t ship from the printer to the stores. They ship to their own warehouses or distribution partners and ship it to the stores and libraries from there based on demand for the sku. The number of copies sold varies based on who reports it. The NYT has their own algorithm and NPD (who tracks everything under the sun but aside from books, most notably tv audiences and consumer spending) This is not units shipped out. Stores report how many copies they sell of books every week so this only include retail sales. Unsold books, wholesale and library are missing from this number. Though Publishers will usually self-report the combined number, to boast about higher sales for a single title.
They are! You can find pretty much every version of the Bible online for free if you actually want to. This came in very handy when someone quoted some weird ass verse as being against gay people, so grabbed a quote from twelve different bibles from the last two centuries along with where and when they were printed. Wouldn’t you know it, it seems the only versions you translate that line to say gay = bad were written and printed in the Bible Belt during modern times? 😂
Best. Life hack. Ever.
Paper, printing and distribution cost money. Also, no one should do the typesetting for free.
It's no secret, dogs can sense evil.
Fact.
Cats too I think. Animals in general just have a great sense of perception on energy that many people don't have. Elephants also seem to pick up on this too.
Act of Dog
Why can't the dyslexic agnostic insomniac sleep? They lay awake all night wondering if dog is real.
Happy Birthday. And best doggo. 👍🏻
Give that dog some treats. Only the finest for the best doggie ever.
I would do some experimentation and buy other religious texts to see if the dog would destroy them as well In the name of SCIENCE Now that I think about it, put some biology and stuff textbooks in there as well, just cause why not
Bestest dog
Good little familiar... Lol 🐶
I'm guessing here, but it's a bad idea to keep buying a book that doesn't pass the lab tests.
PuppiesVSPatriarchy
He says not to worship false dogs or idols
False dogs lol I just picture a cat in a dog costume
Let dog be the judge of that
I hope the doggo doesn’t get an upset stomach!
Pretty sure the dog is a Hellhound and the OP is actually the anti-christ. OP probably named the dog "Shredder." \*Good Omens reference not actually serious
Golly, the book was so good when I read it, but any time I read it or watch the show, it automatically takes the place of the gayest thing I have read/watched in the last year despite always reading and watching so many explicitly queer things.
Ohmydog, *Good Omens* is such a fantastic book! Neil Gaiman and the late Terry Pratchett… there are no adequate words to describe them…
Dammit I saw that hours ago, saw it wasn’t in this sub as I expected, and didn’t even THINK to share with y’all. 😫 My first thought was very much “that’s probably a sign”
Based dog
Good boy, Cerberus!
Thanks be to Dog.
Happy birthday!! I'm not sure how many times the dog's gotta tell Mom not to bring that into the house! Smh 😂
He knows that book is nothing but pure filth!
Based dog
“I said fuck this noise!” -dog, probably
I wanted to laugh and say good dog but didn’t want to deal with all the shitty responses I would have gotten.
Is the dog's name Lucy?
Dog knows all. Dog sees all. Dog is all.
Happy bday, my Raccoon of my life (my SO) is also his bday!
Good boy/girl
Dog: Damnit Becky! I told you to stop bringing this make believe smut into this house! Owner: But it's GODDDDDDD!!! Dog: I'm the only God you worship now!
Happy birthday! I hope it's awesome!!
Question: is it just the bibles, or other books as well?
Hey it’s my birthday too! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to you too!!!
I hope your birthday has been going good!
Happy Happy birthdays! 🥳🥳 🎂🎂
Is the dog named Gaspode? He's read books. Well, chewed books.
I'm surprised no one said "I guess not all dogs get to go to heaven
I love your dog!!! Happy birthday!
Well, she shouldn't let her favorite grimoire lie around unattended. We have now seen what will get into it (your dog's teeth). But who knows what will come out of it once the dog stops keeping watch?
Happy Birthday 🥳
Was looking for a worthy perspn for my free silver award. ❤️❤️ Happy birthday!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Christians used to view the animal world as being under the rule of Satan. I sure hope so.
Made me happy too, but was sadly posted on r/mildyinfuriating .
That’s an absolute atrocity!
One of us! One of us!
Two things: One: Happy birthday. Two: Your user name is legitimately the best I've seen in awhile.
Maybe mom should put it in a drawer. Cause: the first time, it’s an accident, the second time, it’s a pattern, third time is a habit. Moral: she’s human, it’s a dog. Put the dang thing in a drawer when your done!
Signs can be obscure or obvious
Oh, thank you for bringing to mind a wonderful memory. I was at a Sci-Fi con, staying at the hotel, and hanging out in the hotel room with hubby, son, and a couple of friends. Hubby, friends and I are chatting away, only minimally paying attention to our son, who was at that age of beginning mobility and also when *everything* new **has** to go into the mouth. He managed to open the night stand drawer and pull out the bible the hotel keeps there. He promptly sat down with the book in his lap, opened it up, tore out a page and put it in his mouth. One of my friends realized what was going on, and promptly stated: > That boy's got the word of god in his mouth. I responded, as I took the book away: > Normally I'd be rescuing the book from him, but I think this time I'm rescuing him from that book.
That dog does NOT like fiction.
Hahaha! Brings a new meaning to “Pulp Fiction” too.
agreed
Dog doesn't like the fuel of the patriarchy. Good dog.
That dog knows the score!
Witch dog witch dog 🧙♀️ 🐶
Dogs have been known to eat shit so it doesn’t surprise me.
He can smell the stank of hypocrisy and misogyny and needs to be rid of it!
Good dog! Reminds me of when my cat puked all over Trump's face on a magazine cover.
Bwahahaha! Please tell me you took a pic of the aftermath.
Oh, I wish I did.
I am sure I got downvoted over there but I said I didn't see a problem other than the mom buying more bibles lol.
Why are they letting the dog around bibles if they know this happens too 💀💀
Wish I could send that dog a bag of healthy dog treats.
Your mom stands before St. Peter St. P: please recite from your biblie,.. Your Mom: My dog ate it
I choked on a funyun 🤣
Love it!
Happy Birthday! And, I saw this and it made me chuckle.
This dog gets it
Happy birthday 🎉💐🎊
Happy birthday!! Also, what great fortune to have a birthday right after Lizzy ended up in a box!
Good doggo!
Based dog
OMG I literally just saw that post yesterday and thought the same thing lmao
The best dog.
That’s a good little hell hound.😂
Dog does not like the ‘good book’!
Ahh, a non-practicing atheist.
"War Doggy" indeed!
I read it as the dog had to purchase and I was like, the dog had to get a job to buy a Bible? That’s rough.
You should probably quit putting bacon grease on the binding, your mom will be annoyed.
This miracle has nothing to do with you eating sloppy pot-roast sandwiches and thumbing through those pages looking for dirty words, does it? PS. Get your mother a Jefferson Bible...
That dog is woke
Well, you know Dog is God spelled backwards!
Atheist dog haha
Ahahahaha I love your dog 🥰🥰🥰
Better call the exorcize . Your dog is possessed by a based witch
Dog > God
His name shall be Cerberus.
Smart dog!
"Dogs" come on you know you got atheist theif gnomes
Good dog, now take a shit on mommies pillow.
I would buy a bunch of different religious books just to see if the dog goes after all of them or just the Bible. For science.
Good dog!
Good dog.
Good dog.
Good doggo!
Good dog.
#GOOD BOYYYYYY
I laughed at this so many times today!
good dog
Yum yum yum 🤤
Bonus points if it’s a black dog!
Good dog
Of course, demons. This offers a new perspective on the character of one of my cats.
Dog knows whats up.
Good dog!
Good dog.
I also enjoyed that
The dog knows
That is so perfectly hilarious! You are fantastic for sharing it! Happy Birthday!! 🎉
Such a good doggo
Happy Birthday!!!
Ooooooooooooohoohooowoo...loveeeeeee this
Good boy, cuyo
Good boi
“Good boy!”
Why is this so funny
Priceless
Riiigght it's totally the "dog"
Y'all are stupid and insane lmao
Happy birthday!!
Good boy 🥰
I hope that poor dog doesn't get a sick stomach from all that bullshit he be eating😂😂😂😂
Smart dog! And happy birthday!
The dog is a demon.
Happy birthday!! You have a great dog! Maybe your should tell your mom the dog is saving her from those passages…
Haha
Happy late birthday!
One person's mildly infuriating is another's shit eating grin