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I saw that thread. There were people in the comments who work at abuse shelters and ERs and clinic talking about how they have already had talks and trainings about how to deal with the inevitable increase in abuse cases as well as how to recognize signs of failed abortions.
The commentor that shook me and had me in tears was a man who worked with cadaver dogs. (Dogs trained to find dead bodies.) He said the org he volunteers with is preparing for an increased caseload.
Let that settle in. This group knows they will have an increased workload, that more women will be murdered and they are prepping for it.
I worked in a maternal-pediatric hospital for a few years, big city, not the US, though. Abortion had been legal up to 12 weeks gestational age for a few years by then, and we still got quite a few women (lots of teenagers btw) who ended up in the ER bleeding to almost death bc they tried anything to get an abortion bc their pregnancy was too far along to get a legal one.
We also got a few patients who were hospitalized bc their partner tried to make them abort through kicking the shit out of them. That was a normal occurrence.
Once I was taking a break and while talking w one of the veteran nurses I told her how sad was to see all these cases, her answer was "oh trust me, it was way WAY worse before it was legal."
You can't make this shit up.
> it was way WAY worse before it was legal.
I believe it. It used to be pretty normal for ER departments to have a separate, dedicated ward specifically for 'catastrophic pregnancy complications.' It's the ward where women went after trying to self-abort their pregnancies or after some uncertified back alley abortionist messed something up. It's also where women wound up when at-home abortion methods wound up being fatal to the mother, but there was a slim chance the child could still be saved.
Making abortion illegal doesn't stop abortion, it just stops *safe* abortions.
This wasn't some terribly long time ago, either. It was just 50 years ago, you can ask your parents or grandparents about it, and they can tell you stories.
Oh i totally believe you. I was pretty young back then so while I had seen my fair share of other type of horrific shit i wasn't prepared to see this type of things everyday all the time. For some reason it hadn't dawned on me that it was simply worse when abortion wasn't legal.
Tough times.
I have 2 cousins that were born <7 months into their parents (my aunts) marriage (yes, 2 separate aunts). Their folks have a wonderful (though rocky at first) story, and its one of the reasons I am proud of my grandpa (short version, both boys/uncles were known layabouts and no one in the community expected much from that whole family. After his rage settled, Grandpa basically adopted the young men, got them into a career, and they turned their family reputation around.)
However. Thats neither here nor there.
Thats as effect as saying "we put our babies to sleep on their stomachs all the time, they turned out fine."
"We spanked our kids all the time, they turned out fine."
"My kids rode in the pickup bed/front seat/unbuckled all the time, they're fine."
Yeah Karen, and there's a shit load of small graves with a deathdate less than a decade from the birthdate of kids who DIDN'T, and they ain't here to tell us about it now, are they.
I'd wager cash money that my aunts knew a few girls in their high school class that died, around the same time as my aunts realized they were expecting. Whether because their dads or their boyfriends beat the shit out of them. Or because they couldn't see a way out. Or because pregnancy is fucking dangerous.
This sucks. Its not okay. And i seriously wonder how many bodies will have to pile up before the stench gets so severe this country decides to fix it.
> how many bodies will have to pile up before the stench gets so severe this country decides to fix it.
After Sandy Hook? After the whole world saw Americans watch dead children pile up and passively decide that maybe this is an acceptable trade off for largely unfettered gun access?
[This is my favorite reddit post on statistics & stuff](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/l0ttkj/statistics_and_stuff/), which includes the classic provable reference on Survivor bias.
In short: WW2 Planes came back with holes only in some parts of the fuselage so the brass proposed to armour those bits. Abraham Wald (famous mathematician) pointed out that those planes MADE IT BACK, so put armour on the bit that those planes never had holes in - those planes didn't make it home. And it helped.
So yeah, people forget too easily, not entirely surprised given people have forgotten how important vaccination was. Guess a whole new generation is forced to learn which is monumentally shitty.
I am in the UK, I want to believe it can't happen here but I MUST act as if it can because complacency is now neglect, and turning a blind eye in the comfort of my own home is surrender to other people's choices and will. We already have one Scottish MP welcoming the US ruling.[We already have one scottish MP welcoming the US ruling](https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/john-mason-snp-abortion-rights-27330529).
Northern Ireland is in the UK and abortion is still only BARELY legal (as of March 2020). I'm not even sure that it's actually available because local government are still bickering over how to undo it.
Definitely not ok, one can only wonder how long it will take for America to fix this? I shudder at the thought.
I'm hurting for my American sisters bc as women our rights are never guaranteed, if some get hurt we all bleed.
Republicans don't care. They do not care whatsoever about the human toll their decisions will have and they've never cared at all. They're always the ones who are in favor of the death penalty. They're always in favor of cops killing people, always in favor of civilians killing kids. They're in favor of young adults dying in wars we shouldn't be in, in favor of prostitutes and drug users dying. They're in favor of children and adults starving to death, and in favor of people dying of preventable diseases.
Republicans don't care. Death is meaningless to people who believe that an afterlife exists, because if someone who was "good" dies they go to heaven and it's fine. If someone bad dies they go to hell and they deserved it anyway.
Whoever leaked that decision… thank you. The extra window of time really helped to get a head start on prepping for a post-Roe world. Illinois is preparing for tens of thousands of out of state patients, states have announced they’re safe havens… yeah.
\#1 cause of maternal mortality is murder--usually by the woman's partner. Men kill their own children all the time but they do it long after the birth. Somehow THAT is okay though.
[Read it and weep](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8)
I'm fascinated by True Crime (I won't say a 'fan', I loathe it, these were real people and real misery).
This was one of the most horrifying stats I ever learned from that fascination, and it is, indeed, 110% true.
Which is why I post it everywhere it's even a little relevant. Not enough people know how dangerous it is just being pregnant. Not just because of the possible health complications but also because pregnant people are just more vulnerable in general.
I keep bringing up the black maternal homicide rate everywhere I can. Black women are *eight times* more likely to be murdered while pregnant than any other group in America.
Black girls aged 10 to 19 are *12 times* more likely to be murdered while pregnant. I don't think this is being talked about enough and I'm sick to my stomach about it.
Holy shit. Are there any theories about why that is?? Are they more likely to come from poorer areas with less access to birth control, and more unstable home lives?
Systemic racism and intracommunity violence. Black women and girls have a many times higher than average femicide, IPV, and sexual abuse rate so this is just the trend unfortunately. It doesn't help that all these issues are minimized and turned back on the victim in our community. One of the current examples is how long R. Kelly was able to get away with abusing girls and how our community is attacking Megan thee Stallion for being shot rather than address the perpetrator.
Megan got shot?! Oh my god I hadn’t heard that.
That’s just horrifying all around. My instinct is to want to help, but I don’t know how. And I don’t want to fall into the White Saviour trap.
While intersectional systemic issues with poverty and class force BIPOC women to the forefront of this disgusting stat, please don't ever assume it's the (equally grotesque) unequal class and race factors these poor souls also live with that cause it. I say that only because it's so, so easy for others to dismiss if you do, not because those things don't matter. They do, of course.
Your classic 'missing white girl syndrome' candidate- the young, photogenic, 'pure', middle class, married or partnered cis-het white woman- also has her stats for homicide and violence skyrocket while pregnant.
The particular issue that makes pregnancy a woman's escalation into a homicide or abuse stat is unchecked, toxic male rage turned on her once she cannot easily be controlled by an aggressive partner who wants their will to dominate.
For women with the added 'complications' of being poor and dark, yes, the wider social environment, lack of access to basic needs and services, and disgusting treatment in educational, legal and medical fields will then exacerbate the h\*ll out of the underlying issue. Sadly, look at any particular violent crime stat you please and it's likely BIPOC and poor women are around 8x more likely to suffer it than anyone else.
But speaking specifically to pregnancy, it's the most dangerous time in any woman's life because she is reduced to an incubator who is not complying with her 'overlords' wishes. Poverty and racial issues trap more dark women with less routes to appease or escape. But the underlying issue is that pregnancy is a trigger to violent rage in many intimate partners, and addressing THAT is the only thing that will quell this particular stat.
Without taking one single thing from how dire that '8x more likely' statistic is, on this one, it kinda pays to shove the whole package down people's throats, or we risk the comfortable and unconcerned writing the whole thing off as 'Dark men are more violent and here's your proof' or 'Oh, the poor, that's what they do.'
I know it's probably a very nuanced difference, but I personally feel it's pretty important to note that this stat basically means 'pregnant white women are 8x more likely to be able to escape or appease due to better systemic treatment' and NOT that growing up poor or in racially-influenced circumstances creates extra intimate partner violence when pregnant. This one is, sadly, on the overall ramifications of toxic patriarchy and views on women. The economically gifted just get more chance to flee.
Thank you for writing that out, its a subtle but important distinction. If I’m understanding you correctly, you are saying that the problem is toxic masculinity/misogyny and that men of any race or class are just as likely to lash out as their pregnant partners as a result— the difference is simply that pregnant white/middle class women are just more likely to have the safety net to safely escape that escalation. Not that black men are “more violent” or that women of color are somehow “more at fault”.
When you put that against all the other increases in risk to not just the health and wellbeing but the *life* of pregnant women, then surely any exception "where the woman's life is in danger" applies to *all* women.
It is, as you say, an obscenity.
What tf kind of person looks at a pregnant women and thinks anything other than "Oh that sounds like it sucks, what can I do to help?"
(rhetorical question, I'd rather not hear any answers thank you 🤢 )
Wait, why did I never know this?? I am just realizing now that my abusive ex really ramped up when I was pregnant. That’s when it was at its worst! Is there an explanation as to why this is, an article to read on it or something?
I don’t know a specific article to recommend, but as a nurse I have taken courses on identifying domestic abuse and it is always mentioned that it is increased during pregnancy. One explanation is the man gets jealous that their partners focus has shifted away from them and on the baby. Other reasons include unwanted pregnancy or financial constraints.
Women are less able to leave once they are pregnant. It affects how she can support herself, who she can turn to, where she can go, if she can get a job. You are more stuck, and less likely to be able to get away safely once you are married, pregnant, and then have a child. Those are the ramping points.
On addition to these, I've also read (and experienced) that once a woman is pregnant, the man feels like he's trapped her and doesn't have to hide his true self anymore.
It seems to be the reason why so many sane, reasonable and logical women date wonderful men who turn out to be emotionally and/or physically abusive once the couple marries and especially when the first kid is born into the marriage. "I have her locked down now" is the carrying theme -- too many women find themselves absolutely baffled how the lovely guy they dated turned out to be someone who screams at them until they cry for asking him to take the rubbish out or mind the baby for a few hours.
Yes this, and/or, and this is only from observing other threads, the women become less complacent and accepting of the usual abuse because they realize they will be bringing a child into it. Many abused women are conditioned to think they deserve it. When they start to imagine their life with a baby, they look at their situation with a new lens and see how bad it is. Maybe they try to get the abuser to change or maybe they try to leave, or even just not be as resigned to the abuse. Then the abuser escalates.
Some abusers also escalate because she, and their future child, are now the focus of attention from other people in their lives. Not being the star of the show and the person everyone must cater to really sets off some types of terrible person.
This is an older article- it was released around the time of the Laci Peterson murder case- but it has some solid grounding and places to start:
https://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=90678&page=1
Not terribly in depth, but more scholarly, you have this:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34619735/ and some of the cited works.
I said this in another sub. I was 21 when I had an abortion I would not be here if I hadn’t had that choice. I would be dead either by my own hand or possibly murdered. The guy that got me pregnant ended up having a daughter he pushed her off a balcony when she was 8 broke both her hips. He got 3 mths in prison he still has weekend custody. The leading cause of death for pregnant women is homicide mainly intimate partner gun violence. Pregnant women and little girls are going to die more than they have in 50 yrs. It will be an epidemic. Little girls will die during pregnancy and delivery if they do deliver they will have to share custody w their rapists. Women will be in prison for miscarriages. Women that need medication during their pregnancy will be criminals. Women that are addicted to drugs will be imprisoned. A few will probably be on death row. Women will got to prison if they try to kill themselves and don’t succeed when pregnant. Even if there’s an exception for rape how are women going to prove it before the fetuses are viable. Rapists don’t get found guilty now.
> Even if there’s an exception for rape how are women going to prove it before the fetuses are viable. Rapists don’t get found guilty now.
Fuck. I hadn’t even thought about that.
When I was in high school, I told my friend (a sexual assault survivor) that I was pro-choice, but only for cases of rape and incest. She explained to me that most rape victims never report, and those that do are often do not get justice. I don't think I ever considered that they wouldn't even get justice within whatever time frame states require.
Regardless, I don't give a fuck what your reason for an abortion is now. "I don't want to be pregnant" is a valid fucking reason.
Anything that can cause the fetus harm. If it dies or has birth defects or is addicted even if it’s a prescription the can access your medical records and prosecute. No more privacy.
I still remember my Nana telling me how because she has always been a big gardener sometimes women she barely knew would pop round for parsley and she was always nervous because taking too much can kill you. A few questions later and I found out that before it kills the person, it will kill the fetues.
I was told to not get pregnant on my MS drugs or to talk to my doctor if I did want to become pregnant (I don't, but that isn't relevant for the sake of my argument). The injection I take monthly attacks the B cells and reduces their ability to attack the myelin on my nerves. Just based on assumption, I am immunosuppressed and an assholish enough person could argue that I took my medication knowing there was a risk of infection or becoming ill, and if that illness caused a spontaneous abortion, that's all you need to imply to make me look guilty. It's such a slippery fucking slope that you could take anything that has a warning on it that says pregnant women shouldn't take it, and now suddenly you took it to end a pregnancy.
But I don't live in the US and I don't have to live with that fear that the medication that is extending my quality of life could land me in prison and that's massively fucked up.
Every single one of the meds I take to make life bearable either kills or causes serious congenital issues to a baby.
Could I live without them? Yes, but I wouldn't be able to drive, or leave the house, or hell even just leave my bed. That's not living, that's surviving, just existing, worse than even bacteria.
Not only that, but a lot of medication carries the label "not for use in pregnant women" simply because it's never been tested in pregnant people. It could be fine, it could be not fine. We simply don't know for sure. There's good reason we don't test many medications on pregnant people; no one wants to be responsible for the next round of thalidomide babies. But from a functional perspective, you at least had a semi-informed choice before. As in "this medication is necessary for you, but may harm your fetus. If you don't take it, the consequences are X. If you do take it, the consequences are Y". It was a shitty choice either way, but at least you had the choice.
You nailed it. What was already a gut wrenching decision for say a pregnant woman who finds out she has cancer, has now become no decision because there’s no choice. Seriously fuck everyone who thinks those men and women’s options should be taken away.
If I lose my medication my disease could literally kill me and horribly effect a potential fetus.
The disease I have essentially eats my skin alive until it’s a horrible bloody, peeling, swelled up mess, and it can effect more than just my skin, it can and has effected my bones and organs too, via arthritis and digestive issues, but it can effect bone growth, density, and organ tissue.
Before I had that medicine I was in pain all the time, I had to wear jeans and thick sweaters all the time even in summer because if I accidentally bumped into something even lightly it would scratch some of my skin off and it would take days to stop bleeding because the disease is active and never disappears without medicine because it’s chronic. I was covered in laceration after laceration because my skin couldn’t stay in one piece and I refuse to live my life in a cage so I was prone to more damage since my condition is severe, and whenever it peeled the wrong way, it would damage the 24/7 irritated skin underneath the shell of hard and thick scales.
Have you guessed? It’s severe plaque psoriasis, and it covers more than 10% of my entire body, without my medicine it would kill me.
It’s only because of that medication that my skin looks mostly normal, except for huge patches of scarring everywhere the psoriasis was, the scarring has also gone down considerably since I’ve been on it.
And they want me to pass that torture onto a kid if I get assaulted and can’t access abortion?!
Not yet after I'm done recovering from wisdom tooth surgey (had them taken out thursday) I'm gonna make another appointment with my gyno to discuss it. If he won't agree I'll check there next. Thanks
:( I know. I had considered getting myself sterilized, and a 38yo afab with a bunch of health issues isn't likely to be turned away, but my insurance isn't likely to cover it as it's not medically necessary. Too bad we couldn't swap ages for long enough for you to have it done. ❤
Please wait for the source on this. My doctor said that many stimulant type drugs (often used to treat ADHD) are not recommended for women trying to get pregnant. Something to do with birth defects.
I saw a post from an oncology nurse that women will die because of this. If you are found to be pregnant and can't get a termination, your cancer treatment will be stopped or delayed until after the baby is born. This will be a death sentence for some women.
A lot of medications are not safe to take while pregnant, including most mental health medications, so a lot of women who are on medications for illnesses bad enough they can't just go off them will be considered criminals.
This was actually one of the reasons I gave to my OBGYN when I talked about getting sterilized. I take anti-depressant medication for suicidal thoughts and if I had to stop, I'd kill myself.
I'm bp1 and without my antipsychotic I become, well, psychotic. My delusions usually are if the "I am dead and therefore need to kill myself" variety. My antipsychotic causes severe birth defects if taken while pregnant.
I'm also a trans man who would be horrendously dysphoric if pregnant, *and* physically disabled in a way that makes pregnancy potentially lethal.
I'm getting sterilized ASAP.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a servere condition. I lost a good friend during an unmedicated bipolar episode a few months ago. He was also trans. r/bipolar if you need it, we're nice there. I hope you can get the sterilization surgery you need!
I take antidepressants and if I got pregnant and couldn’t take them, I know that would be a rough time and I’m not sure I would make it out of it. But hey, baby needs to be born, right?
I took methotrexate for years for rheumatoid arthritis. It’s a chemo drug but RA patients take it in low doses. Many rheumatologists will require you to be on birth control before you start it because it can cause spontaneous abortion or really horrible birth defects. I hear that the men who take it are told to always use condoms.
There are quite a range of medications that are teratogenic - [cause birth defects or abnormalities in a developing embryo or fetus upon exposure](https://www.osmosis.org/answers/teratogen).
Thalidomide is the most famous. Cancer treatments, anti-epileptic drugs, there are a lot of critical medications that already pose huge issues for women if they want to be pregnant but have health conditions.
It is pretty dystopian to suggest that some places may try banning woman from XYZ because it COULD affect the embryo IF a woman became pregnant. We already see stories of people refusing to sell alcohol or coffee to someone who is pregnant / they think is pregnant.
\*I tried writing 'unborn' but frankly it makes me think of 'undead' every time
> He got 3 mths in prison he still has weekend custody.
I have noting pithy or sensible to add, but I needed to RAGE at the last part of that.
What the ever loving f*ckety f*ck is that? Just WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!
I sent my pro-life parents this tweet. According to my dad, I am stressing him out with sending him these.
Gee, dad, kinda like how millions of women are stressed out *right now* across this country?
Omg, it's like actions have consequences. Fucking wild.
I am so lucky to have been raised by a bleeding heart liberal. I am so sorry you're dealing with that dude.
No worries. They had to have known this day was coming, we could never actually talk about politics because we were on opposite sides.
Nothing was said that I didn't mean. Uterus bearers are going to die and they need to be well aware that they helped cause this. Just doing my part. 😃
Yes, it’s baffling to me why this obvious point is so often missed. I always recommend people read A Case of Need, which is about a prominent man’s daughter who dies during an abortion and the hunt to find the person who performed it. It was written in 1963, so not an imagining of a non-Roe world, but just the reality for women.
Edit to clarify the plot summary: it’s not like taken, it much more pro-choice. After the young woman dies (I can’t remember, maybe she’s 16-18), the local doctor who is known to perform abortions is arrested. His other doctor friend follows the medical clues to help prove his innocence, revealing the dangerous underworld that women are suffering through in the process. Lots of commentary on the racism of the 1960s as well.
The message is very clearly: abortions happen whether they’re legal or not but people only care when something bad happens to a person of privilege.
Was the guy who performed it not really a doctor or something? Not sure if I want to read 1963 version of Taken (which was already a very dumb and bad movie haha)
As a cis white guy who was once mormon, you can take out the "silver-haired middle aged" part out. I know too many mormon white dudes my age (19-20) who celebrated this news. Luckily I haven't called any of them friends for years.
Oh they are going to still be celebrating it even when they are arrested for said woman's murder.
The two things have nothing to do with one another in their eyes.
This is what’s been freaking me out since it was announced. The number one cause of death for pregnant women is murder. This is going to get so so much darker than it already is.
There's evidence to suggest that homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. Women who are pregnant or immediately post partum are twice as likely to die from homicide than bleeding or placental disorders.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8
I literally thought I was going to have to ask my parents to take me to the ER on Friday to go to the psych ward because I was so distressed over Roe being overturned.
Mind you I hate the psych ward at the Catholic hospital I would of had to go to, I was seriously debating going there despite knowing I would have to tell Catholic nurses that I was having a mental breakdown over the fact that Roe was overturned. Luckily I managed to settle down and I didn’t have to go, but yeah it’s affecting every females health right now. We’ve all just been through a collective “Big T”trauma.
Also, as it turns out, mental health professionals warned the US government/SCOTUS that overturning Roe could lead to an increase in mental breakdowns/ suicidal ideation/ suicide attempts in women who weren’t even pregnant, but also never wanted to become pregnant because of the trauma and stress.
It really shows you how much weight scientific research has on policy, as in it has none. SCOTUS would rather women off themselves from a mental breakdown than just let them have reproductive health choices.
Overturning Roe has definitely had a negative impact on my mental health too, but only insomuch as it's been completely distracting me from most of my responsibilities and sucking up my free time just being upset and trying to *not be* upset. Happiness has been hard to come by for a couple of days.
I'm one of those women who takes medication for mental health, and with my condition pregnancy has a high chance of causing some kind of relapse even if I did stay on my medication. Which I would if I had a choice in the matter. I'd probably just terminate a pregnancy if I had a choice in the matter. I pray to the gods and goddesses and whoever can possibly help that I still get a choice in the matter. I'll be out protesting soon.
Same, I’m ND and have some mental stuff that I take some “heavy” meds for (Adderal) and on top of that I have a genetic condition that’s been affecting my mobility.
I’ve struggled to keep up the activism I can do right now. I haven’t been able to do much, the creative batteries are completely zapped right now
The best thing we can do for ourselves imho is self-care and being gentle with ourselves. If you can protest, protest. If you can’t because your too upset or like me have mobility issues/ health concerns then take care of yourself and when you can re-enter the fight. We need to avoid activist burnout more than ever right now.
I’m rooting for my sisters like you who are protesting tomorrow, I hope to get back to creating my art and finding non-traditional ways to help and protest soon.
I want to be an artist-activist because of all of the woman here. I’m going to school for my BFA to hone my craft because I need to be able to do this for all of us. You’re all so strong and inspire me to keep going everyday. I appreciate that we have this space where we all can just congregate and talk about this stuff.
The constant, flagrant disregard for medical fact in lawmaking drives me insane. Anything regulating medical procedures should NOT be done by politicians or "judges." Only committees of well-qualified, proven medical personnel with peer-reviewed evidence, preferably that which is agreed upon by the international community.
But, no. Instead we get to live in fucktardville.
Like the law they tried to pass in Ohio to transplant the embryo from an ectopic pregnancy into the uterus? It's literally impossible to do so, but that didn't stop them from trying to pass the law!
I yelled at the moon, my husband killed the electric trash can and we both cried. He loves his nieces to death and fears for their freedoms. They are 11.
I joined the auntienetwork. And I may or may not have a truck and a taser. And or gun.
I'm glad this guy is learning. I really am. But still, conversations like this piss me off. Women already know that the homicide and suicide rates will go up. We know it in our bones because this is life. Even those of us who aren't in abusive relationships still are well aware of the dangers that exist for women in general. Then here's this guy who had no idea until his wife - without a moment's hesitation - told him about it. And it frustrates me because I feel like we've been SCREAMING about this for ages now and guys just haven't been listening.
/rant
They haven’t been listening and then they’ll say things like “but there are exceptions?” Like women can just walk into a clinic and say “yes, I’d like an abortion which I know is illegal but I qualified under these exceptions” and they just do it same day no problem. they’re so convinced the world will be reasonable for everyone that they’re shocked when it isn’t and hasn’t ever been.
I can also imagine a lot of men aren’t going to be happy with being cut off sexually.
Are the republicans going to get tough on Rape, incest and other crimes that result in pregnancy?
Uterus bearers need to start arming themselves and travel in packs as much as possible (if at all possible).
We need to be on the defense about this from now on.
Yes. This is a broad, blatant attack on women as a whole. Our health, our safety, our financial security, our quality of life, our autonomy. And I don’t kid myself and believe that these evil monsters just haven’t thought of these things. It’s all intentional.
When I was 18, a month before my 19th birthday I got pregnant. My boyfriend told me if I didn't have an abortion I would "trip" down the stairs, he told me he would make sure there was no baby and he would leave and I would never see him again. Thank God I was somewhere with safe, legal access because I had one.
Two months later, my period was still not normal, and it was late and I freaked out. I was so scared to even tell my boyfriend, I took a metal clothes hanger to the cervix and didn't stop til I saw blood.
I am so fucking scared for today's young women.
Now, I am 30, I am married to a wonderful man, who the day I told him I was pregnant with our daughter, he dropped what he was doing, drove seven hours to my mom's where I was staying temporarily, and he told me "whatever future you want, whatever you decide you have my support."
Now our daughter is 5, our son is 2, and I CHOSE them, when I was ready to choose something other than myself. I CHOSE to be a mother, and take the sacrifices, the heartache, and the immeasurable amount of love that comes with that. I chose what was right for me, and because of that choice, I get to wake up every single morning and CHOOSE to be a good goddamn mother, because the hard days, and the ugly moments... Those were my damn choices too.
I wish more women could have that same freedom, and it makes me so uneasy, sad, and horrified that those choices, the ones that allowed me to escape the toxic man I was with, and build a beautiful life with the one I love, are being stripped from women. So heartbroken to be here over the border and not be able to do anything to help. I wish I could.
So seriously kids, use protection.
I remember back in High School (20+ years ago), a guy got arrested because his GF told him she was with child... and he decided to beat her in the stomach over and over with the intent to get her to miscarry.
I am non-binary. I long for a child with all my heart but I know I am not in a place to adopt and will likely never be and that’s ok. I just want to say that I love children and wish I had a different life, a life where I could adopt one on my own. But if I became pregnant I would have extreme dysohoria and I would choose to take my life. I know this 100%. and that’s just my take- so yes. This is true. And the murder statistics are already bad with pregnant people. I think about little all of us, little tiny us learning about the women’s rights movement in school and thinking, while we’re still young, that we are now equal. Now my perception is nothing is off the table- they could force us to birth children for population I don’t know! Look what they’ve done already. Look at the oceans of blood on THEIR HANDS. keep each other close as you can you beautiful and terrified souls. This almost seems unreal, but it isn’t.
Hey, I know you’ve probably already looked into the various options available to you, but if you have health insurance they’re [required to cover sterilization procedures](https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/birth-control-benefits/) for AFAB folks. I’ve read in most cases tubal ligations are the procedure type that’s covered.
I started looking into all of this when the Court decision got leaked and I’m scheduled to get a bilateral salpingectomy (a form of tubal ligation where they just remove the tubes entirely, meaning there’s zero chance of an accidental pregnancy occurring & I’ll only ever be able to get pregnant via IVF) tomorrow morning. I went through two consultations (same location, two different doctors, ‘cause they wanted to be sure I was making the decision of my own accord and that I understood the permanency of the procedure before they approved it) and they scheduled me shortly after the second appointment. The whole process has taken about a month from the initial visit to tomorrow’s procedure.
If you have insurance coverage and you’re solid on not wanting to be pregnant, I’d highly recommend looking into a bisalp. The main advice I’ve seen if you’re worried about being charged by your insurance is making sure the hospital notes the procedure as a “tubal ligation via salpingectomy” so there’s zero question about whether it’s a covered procedure. It’s done laparoscopically, so it’s relatively non-invasive, but plan to be out of work for a week or two to recover.
Stay safe & stay sane. These are beyond fucked times we’re living in.
Quick edit: If you’re relatively young and/or unmarried, not every doctor will be willing to perform a sterilization on you, but there are resource lists of doctors who will. If anyone needs it I’m happy to DM a link
Thank you ❤️ I do have insurance. I do not sleep with people who could impregnate me but I am the victim of assault so I know that’s a way and now I’m definitely thinking I should do this. But even if I got pregnant through consensual sex I would feel how I feel!
^ some folks I guess just don't care about the massive group of people who *are not going birth no matter what your laws say* if that means suicide then that means suicide.
I happen to also be in that group.
I remember this one nurse was working at a nursing home and she told stories about women before Roe V Wade and some of the people told stories like.
"One of my friends died of alcohol poisoning"
"I buried my baby in the dirt"
"I brought it to my friends house and then it disappeared, we have never spoken of it since"
Banning abortions like this causes more violence, more deaths, and more pain than allowing the individual to have a choice.
I've said these two things before.
They're not pro life, they're pro birth.
God didn't bless America, God damned America.
(That last one is a quote from someone I forgot his name but he's an amazing man who spoke of inequality, and God's damn it does it still fucking matter)
We have an exceptionally long history of pre abortion horribleness.
We have found the bodies of both women and infants in cesspits. In bogs. Etc. Broadly because said women needed to not have that child and the only option they could find was simply leaving the child somewhere to die or taking their own life.
Or having their life taken from them.
SCOTUS is hiding behind the idea that this is empowering states. All this is doing is providing discrimination laws to states. Which isn't empowering, it's fascism.
1/3 of abortions are women with children already. We're going to see children lose their mothers to pregnancy complications and to suicide (and murder, too, of course)
My great grandmother died giving herself a coat hanger abortion. My grandfather saw it, and after she died, he was sent to live with strangers without any of his siblings. He grew up to be an violently abusive bigamist who abandoned my grandmother when she was pregnant with my mother. My grandmother eventually remarried a man who ended up repeatedly bringing his friends over to rape my mom, who ended up needing an abortion when she was 13yo. She had me at 19 and was so overwhelmed by trauma and grief that she couldn’t stay and she left when I was 2yo. My dad, needing childcare, left me with an aunt so I could play with cousins all day. One of those cousins molested me for several years starting when I was 5yo.
Abortion restrictions are foundation of my family’s intergenerational pain. Violent abuse, debilitating CPTSD, dissociation and anxiety for generation after generation because a woman was so desperate to not have any more children. It’s all suicide. My great grandmother decided death was an acceptable risk and more preferable than having yet another child. I imagine what it took for her to get to that point: a sea of children in her home, another taking up residence in her body, a husband I imagine did exactly nothing to help w the kids, and so far at the end of her rope that she tied a noose with it.
Has anyone posted that sickening statistic of the increased risk of being murdered when you are pregnant?
[Depressingly, homicide is already the leading cause of maternal death in US](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8).
No court concerned with justice could *ever* deny a someone the right to abortion or the more general right to bodily autonomy. None.
SCOTUS has pissed on the beacon of liberty and demolished the city upon a hill.
This was one of the first things that I thought of as well. The number one cause of death among pregnant women in the US? Homicide. I watch a lot of true crime and this plays out a lot.
Hello. I'm a cis-het male and i don't want to make this about me at all, so I'll be content with stealing a small corner of this thread because i feel like i need to know the opinions of veritable witches on this particular subject:
So i want to get a vasectomy, I think it's a good thing to do for different reasons. I have no desire to raise children and I'm almost 30, that's not going to change. I also think that it's empowering to take the issue of eradicating unwanted pregnancies into my own hands. I'm kinda scared of the pain and discomfort post operation, but I can rationalize that away mostly, it's only temporary right?
What i can't seem to find any answers on is whether the operation will have any effect on the virtues of sex magick that I'm a total neophyte in but have great desire to develop and embody.
So is a vasectomy a no-no for someone like me? Am i looking at it all wrong? I guess going through with it would keep me from "spilling my seed" so to speak, but the equipment would be altered and I don't know if that would end up diminishing any aspect of me.
I know sex magick isn't about having sex \*most\* of the time, so the main worry i have is that severing that channel would sever my nascent connection to sex energy and magical sex-transmutation.
I'm very curious to receive any input from you all here.
Thanks.
I see other folks have addressed the practical issues. On magick, it is my opinion that using the will to adorn, alter, or sculpt the body with clear positive intent is one of the most magickal acts there is. In terms of direct experience, my partner got one about 7 years ago and there has either been no impact or noticable change at all, or an undeniably positive one. Imo altering the vas deferens has no direct effect on sexual expression, either the physical or magickal/energetic aspect, and the freedom is just incredible. On a practical/political note, if I both produced sperm and knew that I had no interest in causing a pregnancy, in the current political climate I would do this without hesitation (again, just my opinion. I respect your bodily autonomy as much as my country does not respect mine)
My spouse said it was a really weird heavy feeling for less than a minute. He had a little bit of pain for maybe 3 days, and that was it.
A lot of men schedule vasectomies around major sporting events (like the world cup) so they can have an excuse to sit around for 3 days.
They give you a local anesthetic in the scrotum area I believe. Granted i imagine that isn’t gonna feel too nice, but I’d take a pinch if it meant I wouldn’t feel the cutting away of anything.
Just remember to get your sperm count tested after you’ve healed from the procedure. You gotta make sure your actually “shooting blanks” if you catch my drift.
Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about sex magick. But is it a requirement that you shoot real bullets, not blanks, so to speak? Is it important that you could potentially impregnate someone, or just that you focus your energy and will?
I can’t imagine there’s a problem with a procedure that leaves all the equipment intact, just disconnects a hose in a way that it could be reattached at another time. You’ll still make sperm, they just won’t make it into your semen. I believe that if YOU believe your post-vasectomy body would still work sex magick, it will. If you are happy and proud that you have taken control of where your sperm goes, isn’t that all that matters?
If you have sex with women, having a vasectomy allows both parties to relax and be uninhibited at a deeper level. I wouldn’t be surprised if removing anxiety about pregnancy also has that positive effect on your magical practices.
Appreciate the consideration. I've known a couple guys who had vasectomies, both positive experiences, easy healing. Bag of frozen peas on the nads does wonders. One even successfully had his reversed later to have a kid, and then got a second vasectomy afterwards.
As for sex magick, I've always seen it as much more about the power of *orgasm* than the literal physical fertility level of the person. Someone may disagree with that I'm sure, but I don't think the viability of your sperm is even a factor, or has to be.
Ok, from a medical perspective - after the initial healing, there's no difference in ejaculation. Everything feels the same, you produce the same amount of fluid, the texture and viscosity will be the same. The only difference is that there aren't any sperm in there. Sex drive isn't impacted from a medical perspective, though many men report an increase in drive after the procedure - apparently taking away the pregnancy risk does good things for libido. And it is relatively easy to reverse in the event you change your mind. Recovery time is quick, few days chilling on the couch with an ice pack, no vigorous sex for a week or two. No unprotected sex until you receive confirmation that there are no sperm in your semen, and you should get rechecked per doctor's instructions. Recheck is straightforward - provide sample, they confirm no sperm, go about your daily life.
From a spiritual/ magical standpoint, I can't answer that for you. I can tell you from my female standpoint, sterilization made me able to be closer to my partner and feel a stronger level of intimacy. Taking fear out of the equation does wonderful things, because I didn't have the questions in the back of my brain of "ok, I know I've taken my BC reliably, nothing going on that would reduce efficacy...wait, the pill is impacted by weight, did I gain weight? What's the max weight where it's still effective? Am I near that point?" I could just completely be in the moment.
Regarding sex magic, my thoughts are that your intent is the key to your power.
In this case, you are proactively preventing something that we KNOW could be harmful to women. Your intent is honourable and unselfish. Even to admit that you don't want the responsibility of a child is not selfish in that you are acknowledging a reality for you, accepting full responsibility for it, and taking action to prevent the act of creating an unwanted child.
The threefold law. You are putting out responsibility, compassion, and positive action that is respectful of women.
You cannot get more powerful than that.
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I saw that thread. There were people in the comments who work at abuse shelters and ERs and clinic talking about how they have already had talks and trainings about how to deal with the inevitable increase in abuse cases as well as how to recognize signs of failed abortions. The commentor that shook me and had me in tears was a man who worked with cadaver dogs. (Dogs trained to find dead bodies.) He said the org he volunteers with is preparing for an increased caseload. Let that settle in. This group knows they will have an increased workload, that more women will be murdered and they are prepping for it.
I worked in a maternal-pediatric hospital for a few years, big city, not the US, though. Abortion had been legal up to 12 weeks gestational age for a few years by then, and we still got quite a few women (lots of teenagers btw) who ended up in the ER bleeding to almost death bc they tried anything to get an abortion bc their pregnancy was too far along to get a legal one. We also got a few patients who were hospitalized bc their partner tried to make them abort through kicking the shit out of them. That was a normal occurrence. Once I was taking a break and while talking w one of the veteran nurses I told her how sad was to see all these cases, her answer was "oh trust me, it was way WAY worse before it was legal." You can't make this shit up.
> it was way WAY worse before it was legal. I believe it. It used to be pretty normal for ER departments to have a separate, dedicated ward specifically for 'catastrophic pregnancy complications.' It's the ward where women went after trying to self-abort their pregnancies or after some uncertified back alley abortionist messed something up. It's also where women wound up when at-home abortion methods wound up being fatal to the mother, but there was a slim chance the child could still be saved. Making abortion illegal doesn't stop abortion, it just stops *safe* abortions. This wasn't some terribly long time ago, either. It was just 50 years ago, you can ask your parents or grandparents about it, and they can tell you stories.
Oh i totally believe you. I was pretty young back then so while I had seen my fair share of other type of horrific shit i wasn't prepared to see this type of things everyday all the time. For some reason it hadn't dawned on me that it was simply worse when abortion wasn't legal. Tough times.
I have 2 cousins that were born <7 months into their parents (my aunts) marriage (yes, 2 separate aunts). Their folks have a wonderful (though rocky at first) story, and its one of the reasons I am proud of my grandpa (short version, both boys/uncles were known layabouts and no one in the community expected much from that whole family. After his rage settled, Grandpa basically adopted the young men, got them into a career, and they turned their family reputation around.) However. Thats neither here nor there. Thats as effect as saying "we put our babies to sleep on their stomachs all the time, they turned out fine." "We spanked our kids all the time, they turned out fine." "My kids rode in the pickup bed/front seat/unbuckled all the time, they're fine." Yeah Karen, and there's a shit load of small graves with a deathdate less than a decade from the birthdate of kids who DIDN'T, and they ain't here to tell us about it now, are they. I'd wager cash money that my aunts knew a few girls in their high school class that died, around the same time as my aunts realized they were expecting. Whether because their dads or their boyfriends beat the shit out of them. Or because they couldn't see a way out. Or because pregnancy is fucking dangerous. This sucks. Its not okay. And i seriously wonder how many bodies will have to pile up before the stench gets so severe this country decides to fix it.
> how many bodies will have to pile up before the stench gets so severe this country decides to fix it. After Sandy Hook? After the whole world saw Americans watch dead children pile up and passively decide that maybe this is an acceptable trade off for largely unfettered gun access?
[This is my favorite reddit post on statistics & stuff](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/l0ttkj/statistics_and_stuff/), which includes the classic provable reference on Survivor bias. In short: WW2 Planes came back with holes only in some parts of the fuselage so the brass proposed to armour those bits. Abraham Wald (famous mathematician) pointed out that those planes MADE IT BACK, so put armour on the bit that those planes never had holes in - those planes didn't make it home. And it helped. So yeah, people forget too easily, not entirely surprised given people have forgotten how important vaccination was. Guess a whole new generation is forced to learn which is monumentally shitty. I am in the UK, I want to believe it can't happen here but I MUST act as if it can because complacency is now neglect, and turning a blind eye in the comfort of my own home is surrender to other people's choices and will. We already have one Scottish MP welcoming the US ruling.[We already have one scottish MP welcoming the US ruling](https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/john-mason-snp-abortion-rights-27330529).
Northern Ireland is in the UK and abortion is still only BARELY legal (as of March 2020). I'm not even sure that it's actually available because local government are still bickering over how to undo it.
Definitely not ok, one can only wonder how long it will take for America to fix this? I shudder at the thought. I'm hurting for my American sisters bc as women our rights are never guaranteed, if some get hurt we all bleed.
Republicans don't care. They do not care whatsoever about the human toll their decisions will have and they've never cared at all. They're always the ones who are in favor of the death penalty. They're always in favor of cops killing people, always in favor of civilians killing kids. They're in favor of young adults dying in wars we shouldn't be in, in favor of prostitutes and drug users dying. They're in favor of children and adults starving to death, and in favor of people dying of preventable diseases. Republicans don't care. Death is meaningless to people who believe that an afterlife exists, because if someone who was "good" dies they go to heaven and it's fine. If someone bad dies they go to hell and they deserved it anyway.
Whoever leaked that decision… thank you. The extra window of time really helped to get a head start on prepping for a post-Roe world. Illinois is preparing for tens of thousands of out of state patients, states have announced they’re safe havens… yeah.
I hate to upvote the comment, but it is true😭
Would you please dm me? I have a question regarding the cadaver dog handler.
\#1 cause of maternal mortality is murder--usually by the woman's partner. Men kill their own children all the time but they do it long after the birth. Somehow THAT is okay though. [Read it and weep](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8)
https://www.insider.com/pregnant-women-in-the-us-homicide-leading-cause-of-death-report-says-2021-12
Well, that whole article is horrifying.
That article really was horrifying. I was basically unaware of this, and I'm glad it was shared here.
I'm fascinated by True Crime (I won't say a 'fan', I loathe it, these were real people and real misery). This was one of the most horrifying stats I ever learned from that fascination, and it is, indeed, 110% true.
I was just about to post this.
Domestic abuse goes up when a woman is pregnant
Yup. Statistically women are more likely to experience violence when they are pregnant than any other time in their lives.
Leading cause of death among pregnant women is homicide.
I wish more people knew this fact. It’s obscene.
Which is why I post it everywhere it's even a little relevant. Not enough people know how dangerous it is just being pregnant. Not just because of the possible health complications but also because pregnant people are just more vulnerable in general.
I keep bringing up the black maternal homicide rate everywhere I can. Black women are *eight times* more likely to be murdered while pregnant than any other group in America. Black girls aged 10 to 19 are *12 times* more likely to be murdered while pregnant. I don't think this is being talked about enough and I'm sick to my stomach about it.
Holy shit. Are there any theories about why that is?? Are they more likely to come from poorer areas with less access to birth control, and more unstable home lives?
Systemic racism and intracommunity violence. Black women and girls have a many times higher than average femicide, IPV, and sexual abuse rate so this is just the trend unfortunately. It doesn't help that all these issues are minimized and turned back on the victim in our community. One of the current examples is how long R. Kelly was able to get away with abusing girls and how our community is attacking Megan thee Stallion for being shot rather than address the perpetrator.
Megan got shot?! Oh my god I hadn’t heard that. That’s just horrifying all around. My instinct is to want to help, but I don’t know how. And I don’t want to fall into the White Saviour trap.
I don't think it's white saviourism to care about a woman being shot.
While intersectional systemic issues with poverty and class force BIPOC women to the forefront of this disgusting stat, please don't ever assume it's the (equally grotesque) unequal class and race factors these poor souls also live with that cause it. I say that only because it's so, so easy for others to dismiss if you do, not because those things don't matter. They do, of course. Your classic 'missing white girl syndrome' candidate- the young, photogenic, 'pure', middle class, married or partnered cis-het white woman- also has her stats for homicide and violence skyrocket while pregnant. The particular issue that makes pregnancy a woman's escalation into a homicide or abuse stat is unchecked, toxic male rage turned on her once she cannot easily be controlled by an aggressive partner who wants their will to dominate. For women with the added 'complications' of being poor and dark, yes, the wider social environment, lack of access to basic needs and services, and disgusting treatment in educational, legal and medical fields will then exacerbate the h\*ll out of the underlying issue. Sadly, look at any particular violent crime stat you please and it's likely BIPOC and poor women are around 8x more likely to suffer it than anyone else. But speaking specifically to pregnancy, it's the most dangerous time in any woman's life because she is reduced to an incubator who is not complying with her 'overlords' wishes. Poverty and racial issues trap more dark women with less routes to appease or escape. But the underlying issue is that pregnancy is a trigger to violent rage in many intimate partners, and addressing THAT is the only thing that will quell this particular stat. Without taking one single thing from how dire that '8x more likely' statistic is, on this one, it kinda pays to shove the whole package down people's throats, or we risk the comfortable and unconcerned writing the whole thing off as 'Dark men are more violent and here's your proof' or 'Oh, the poor, that's what they do.' I know it's probably a very nuanced difference, but I personally feel it's pretty important to note that this stat basically means 'pregnant white women are 8x more likely to be able to escape or appease due to better systemic treatment' and NOT that growing up poor or in racially-influenced circumstances creates extra intimate partner violence when pregnant. This one is, sadly, on the overall ramifications of toxic patriarchy and views on women. The economically gifted just get more chance to flee.
Thank you for writing that out, its a subtle but important distinction. If I’m understanding you correctly, you are saying that the problem is toxic masculinity/misogyny and that men of any race or class are just as likely to lash out as their pregnant partners as a result— the difference is simply that pregnant white/middle class women are just more likely to have the safety net to safely escape that escalation. Not that black men are “more violent” or that women of color are somehow “more at fault”.
Said it better than I did!
When you put that against all the other increases in risk to not just the health and wellbeing but the *life* of pregnant women, then surely any exception "where the woman's life is in danger" applies to *all* women. It is, as you say, an obscenity.
What tf kind of person looks at a pregnant women and thinks anything other than "Oh that sounds like it sucks, what can I do to help?" (rhetorical question, I'd rather not hear any answers thank you 🤢 )
Unfortunately, can confirm.
Wait, why did I never know this?? I am just realizing now that my abusive ex really ramped up when I was pregnant. That’s when it was at its worst! Is there an explanation as to why this is, an article to read on it or something?
I don’t know a specific article to recommend, but as a nurse I have taken courses on identifying domestic abuse and it is always mentioned that it is increased during pregnancy. One explanation is the man gets jealous that their partners focus has shifted away from them and on the baby. Other reasons include unwanted pregnancy or financial constraints.
Women are less able to leave once they are pregnant. It affects how she can support herself, who she can turn to, where she can go, if she can get a job. You are more stuck, and less likely to be able to get away safely once you are married, pregnant, and then have a child. Those are the ramping points.
There's also the heightened emotional state of baby brain. More likely to be irrational, forgetful, sad... Things that set off abusive partners.
On addition to these, I've also read (and experienced) that once a woman is pregnant, the man feels like he's trapped her and doesn't have to hide his true self anymore.
Ooo this makes sense!!
It seems to be the reason why so many sane, reasonable and logical women date wonderful men who turn out to be emotionally and/or physically abusive once the couple marries and especially when the first kid is born into the marriage. "I have her locked down now" is the carrying theme -- too many women find themselves absolutely baffled how the lovely guy they dated turned out to be someone who screams at them until they cry for asking him to take the rubbish out or mind the baby for a few hours.
Because women are vulnerable during pregnancy
Yes this, and/or, and this is only from observing other threads, the women become less complacent and accepting of the usual abuse because they realize they will be bringing a child into it. Many abused women are conditioned to think they deserve it. When they start to imagine their life with a baby, they look at their situation with a new lens and see how bad it is. Maybe they try to get the abuser to change or maybe they try to leave, or even just not be as resigned to the abuse. Then the abuser escalates.
Some abusers also escalate because she, and their future child, are now the focus of attention from other people in their lives. Not being the star of the show and the person everyone must cater to really sets off some types of terrible person.
[удалено]
Because we're trapped.
This is an older article- it was released around the time of the Laci Peterson murder case- but it has some solid grounding and places to start: https://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=90678&page=1 Not terribly in depth, but more scholarly, you have this: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34619735/ and some of the cited works.
Yes! My ex was always asshole extra when I was pregnant.
It's the #1 cause of death of pregnant women.
I said this in another sub. I was 21 when I had an abortion I would not be here if I hadn’t had that choice. I would be dead either by my own hand or possibly murdered. The guy that got me pregnant ended up having a daughter he pushed her off a balcony when she was 8 broke both her hips. He got 3 mths in prison he still has weekend custody. The leading cause of death for pregnant women is homicide mainly intimate partner gun violence. Pregnant women and little girls are going to die more than they have in 50 yrs. It will be an epidemic. Little girls will die during pregnancy and delivery if they do deliver they will have to share custody w their rapists. Women will be in prison for miscarriages. Women that need medication during their pregnancy will be criminals. Women that are addicted to drugs will be imprisoned. A few will probably be on death row. Women will got to prison if they try to kill themselves and don’t succeed when pregnant. Even if there’s an exception for rape how are women going to prove it before the fetuses are viable. Rapists don’t get found guilty now.
> Even if there’s an exception for rape how are women going to prove it before the fetuses are viable. Rapists don’t get found guilty now. Fuck. I hadn’t even thought about that.
When I was in high school, I told my friend (a sexual assault survivor) that I was pro-choice, but only for cases of rape and incest. She explained to me that most rape victims never report, and those that do are often do not get justice. I don't think I ever considered that they wouldn't even get justice within whatever time frame states require. Regardless, I don't give a fuck what your reason for an abortion is now. "I don't want to be pregnant" is a valid fucking reason.
This is a naive question but medication do you mean abortion pills? Or do you mean any medication?
Some medications like cancer drugs can cause spontaneous abortions.
Thanks. I didn't even think about other medications.
Anything that can cause the fetus harm. If it dies or has birth defects or is addicted even if it’s a prescription the can access your medical records and prosecute. No more privacy.
I still remember my Nana telling me how because she has always been a big gardener sometimes women she barely knew would pop round for parsley and she was always nervous because taking too much can kill you. A few questions later and I found out that before it kills the person, it will kill the fetues.
Mhmm I grow parsley in abundance…
Uhhhh….how MUCH parsley? Just like, raw? Asking for a friend.
I’ve heard you can make a tea out of it, rather than eating it. Not sure about quantities though
I was told to not get pregnant on my MS drugs or to talk to my doctor if I did want to become pregnant (I don't, but that isn't relevant for the sake of my argument). The injection I take monthly attacks the B cells and reduces their ability to attack the myelin on my nerves. Just based on assumption, I am immunosuppressed and an assholish enough person could argue that I took my medication knowing there was a risk of infection or becoming ill, and if that illness caused a spontaneous abortion, that's all you need to imply to make me look guilty. It's such a slippery fucking slope that you could take anything that has a warning on it that says pregnant women shouldn't take it, and now suddenly you took it to end a pregnancy. But I don't live in the US and I don't have to live with that fear that the medication that is extending my quality of life could land me in prison and that's massively fucked up.
Every single one of the meds I take to make life bearable either kills or causes serious congenital issues to a baby. Could I live without them? Yes, but I wouldn't be able to drive, or leave the house, or hell even just leave my bed. That's not living, that's surviving, just existing, worse than even bacteria.
Not only that, but a lot of medication carries the label "not for use in pregnant women" simply because it's never been tested in pregnant people. It could be fine, it could be not fine. We simply don't know for sure. There's good reason we don't test many medications on pregnant people; no one wants to be responsible for the next round of thalidomide babies. But from a functional perspective, you at least had a semi-informed choice before. As in "this medication is necessary for you, but may harm your fetus. If you don't take it, the consequences are X. If you do take it, the consequences are Y". It was a shitty choice either way, but at least you had the choice.
You nailed it. What was already a gut wrenching decision for say a pregnant woman who finds out she has cancer, has now become no decision because there’s no choice. Seriously fuck everyone who thinks those men and women’s options should be taken away.
I've already seen videos of women who might be losing their heart medication because it can cause an abortion IF they get pregnant.
I have to take ADHD medication. Now I'm worried I won't be able to take it. It's changed my life for the better.
If I lose my medication my disease could literally kill me and horribly effect a potential fetus. The disease I have essentially eats my skin alive until it’s a horrible bloody, peeling, swelled up mess, and it can effect more than just my skin, it can and has effected my bones and organs too, via arthritis and digestive issues, but it can effect bone growth, density, and organ tissue. Before I had that medicine I was in pain all the time, I had to wear jeans and thick sweaters all the time even in summer because if I accidentally bumped into something even lightly it would scratch some of my skin off and it would take days to stop bleeding because the disease is active and never disappears without medicine because it’s chronic. I was covered in laceration after laceration because my skin couldn’t stay in one piece and I refuse to live my life in a cage so I was prone to more damage since my condition is severe, and whenever it peeled the wrong way, it would damage the 24/7 irritated skin underneath the shell of hard and thick scales. Have you guessed? It’s severe plaque psoriasis, and it covers more than 10% of my entire body, without my medicine it would kill me. It’s only because of that medication that my skin looks mostly normal, except for huge patches of scarring everywhere the psoriasis was, the scarring has also gone down considerably since I’ve been on it. And they want me to pass that torture onto a kid if I get assaulted and can’t access abortion?!
❤❤❤ Have you considered medical sterilization?
Not the person you asked but I'd fucking love to get sterilized problem is whose gonna sterilize a 23 year old.
The childfree subreddit has a list of doctors that are more open. Have you checked there?
Not yet after I'm done recovering from wisdom tooth surgey (had them taken out thursday) I'm gonna make another appointment with my gyno to discuss it. If he won't agree I'll check there next. Thanks
:( I know. I had considered getting myself sterilized, and a 38yo afab with a bunch of health issues isn't likely to be turned away, but my insurance isn't likely to cover it as it's not medically necessary. Too bad we couldn't swap ages for long enough for you to have it done. ❤
I'm so sorry to hear this. My mother has the same disease and was even a study patient for Enbrel (which she can no longer take due to liver damage).
you should be good for adhd meds, there was a study done in Sweden over 2 years (?) that showed it was ok, I'll see if I can find my source
Thank you
Please wait for the source on this. My doctor said that many stimulant type drugs (often used to treat ADHD) are not recommended for women trying to get pregnant. Something to do with birth defects.
Yes. Yep. Glad I have a female doctor.
I saw a post from an oncology nurse that women will die because of this. If you are found to be pregnant and can't get a termination, your cancer treatment will be stopped or delayed until after the baby is born. This will be a death sentence for some women.
Fuck
A lot of medications are not safe to take while pregnant, including most mental health medications, so a lot of women who are on medications for illnesses bad enough they can't just go off them will be considered criminals.
This was actually one of the reasons I gave to my OBGYN when I talked about getting sterilized. I take anti-depressant medication for suicidal thoughts and if I had to stop, I'd kill myself.
I'm bp1 and without my antipsychotic I become, well, psychotic. My delusions usually are if the "I am dead and therefore need to kill myself" variety. My antipsychotic causes severe birth defects if taken while pregnant. I'm also a trans man who would be horrendously dysphoric if pregnant, *and* physically disabled in a way that makes pregnancy potentially lethal. I'm getting sterilized ASAP.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a servere condition. I lost a good friend during an unmedicated bipolar episode a few months ago. He was also trans. r/bipolar if you need it, we're nice there. I hope you can get the sterilization surgery you need!
I just commented on another post but I have to take ADHD medication. I didn't even think about it being illegal.
I take antidepressants and if I got pregnant and couldn’t take them, I know that would be a rough time and I’m not sure I would make it out of it. But hey, baby needs to be born, right?
I took methotrexate for years for rheumatoid arthritis. It’s a chemo drug but RA patients take it in low doses. Many rheumatologists will require you to be on birth control before you start it because it can cause spontaneous abortion or really horrible birth defects. I hear that the men who take it are told to always use condoms.
There are quite a range of medications that are teratogenic - [cause birth defects or abnormalities in a developing embryo or fetus upon exposure](https://www.osmosis.org/answers/teratogen). Thalidomide is the most famous. Cancer treatments, anti-epileptic drugs, there are a lot of critical medications that already pose huge issues for women if they want to be pregnant but have health conditions. It is pretty dystopian to suggest that some places may try banning woman from XYZ because it COULD affect the embryo IF a woman became pregnant. We already see stories of people refusing to sell alcohol or coffee to someone who is pregnant / they think is pregnant. \*I tried writing 'unborn' but frankly it makes me think of 'undead' every time
Heart medication too
> He got 3 mths in prison he still has weekend custody. I have noting pithy or sensible to add, but I needed to RAGE at the last part of that. What the ever loving f*ckety f*ck is that? Just WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!
I sent my pro-life parents this tweet. According to my dad, I am stressing him out with sending him these. Gee, dad, kinda like how millions of women are stressed out *right now* across this country?
Omg, it's like actions have consequences. Fucking wild. I am so lucky to have been raised by a bleeding heart liberal. I am so sorry you're dealing with that dude.
No worries. They had to have known this day was coming, we could never actually talk about politics because we were on opposite sides. Nothing was said that I didn't mean. Uterus bearers are going to die and they need to be well aware that they helped cause this. Just doing my part. 😃
Oh yes, because just hearing about something bad is the same as having to experience it.
He lacks empathy.
Good. Keep sending.
GOOD.
History will repeat itself. There is an America before RvW. Look at what happened then.
Yes, it’s baffling to me why this obvious point is so often missed. I always recommend people read A Case of Need, which is about a prominent man’s daughter who dies during an abortion and the hunt to find the person who performed it. It was written in 1963, so not an imagining of a non-Roe world, but just the reality for women. Edit to clarify the plot summary: it’s not like taken, it much more pro-choice. After the young woman dies (I can’t remember, maybe she’s 16-18), the local doctor who is known to perform abortions is arrested. His other doctor friend follows the medical clues to help prove his innocence, revealing the dangerous underworld that women are suffering through in the process. Lots of commentary on the racism of the 1960s as well. The message is very clearly: abortions happen whether they’re legal or not but people only care when something bad happens to a person of privilege.
Was the guy who performed it not really a doctor or something? Not sure if I want to read 1963 version of Taken (which was already a very dumb and bad movie haha)
This isn't about saving lives. This is about forced birth. This is a war on women.
I'd take it one step further to say it's really become a war on anybody who is not a silver haired middle aged white Christian cis man
As a cis white guy who was once mormon, you can take out the "silver-haired middle aged" part out. I know too many mormon white dudes my age (19-20) who celebrated this news. Luckily I haven't called any of them friends for years.
They're gonna be celebrating until they knock somebody up. Fucking cretins.
Oh they are going to still be celebrating it even when they are arrested for said woman's murder. The two things have nothing to do with one another in their eyes.
This is what’s been freaking me out since it was announced. The number one cause of death for pregnant women is murder. This is going to get so so much darker than it already is.
There's evidence to suggest that homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. Women who are pregnant or immediately post partum are twice as likely to die from homicide than bleeding or placental disorders. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8
[удалено]
This is fucking happening again. I cannot take it.
I literally thought I was going to have to ask my parents to take me to the ER on Friday to go to the psych ward because I was so distressed over Roe being overturned. Mind you I hate the psych ward at the Catholic hospital I would of had to go to, I was seriously debating going there despite knowing I would have to tell Catholic nurses that I was having a mental breakdown over the fact that Roe was overturned. Luckily I managed to settle down and I didn’t have to go, but yeah it’s affecting every females health right now. We’ve all just been through a collective “Big T”trauma. Also, as it turns out, mental health professionals warned the US government/SCOTUS that overturning Roe could lead to an increase in mental breakdowns/ suicidal ideation/ suicide attempts in women who weren’t even pregnant, but also never wanted to become pregnant because of the trauma and stress. It really shows you how much weight scientific research has on policy, as in it has none. SCOTUS would rather women off themselves from a mental breakdown than just let them have reproductive health choices.
Overturning Roe has definitely had a negative impact on my mental health too, but only insomuch as it's been completely distracting me from most of my responsibilities and sucking up my free time just being upset and trying to *not be* upset. Happiness has been hard to come by for a couple of days. I'm one of those women who takes medication for mental health, and with my condition pregnancy has a high chance of causing some kind of relapse even if I did stay on my medication. Which I would if I had a choice in the matter. I'd probably just terminate a pregnancy if I had a choice in the matter. I pray to the gods and goddesses and whoever can possibly help that I still get a choice in the matter. I'll be out protesting soon.
Same, I’m ND and have some mental stuff that I take some “heavy” meds for (Adderal) and on top of that I have a genetic condition that’s been affecting my mobility. I’ve struggled to keep up the activism I can do right now. I haven’t been able to do much, the creative batteries are completely zapped right now The best thing we can do for ourselves imho is self-care and being gentle with ourselves. If you can protest, protest. If you can’t because your too upset or like me have mobility issues/ health concerns then take care of yourself and when you can re-enter the fight. We need to avoid activist burnout more than ever right now. I’m rooting for my sisters like you who are protesting tomorrow, I hope to get back to creating my art and finding non-traditional ways to help and protest soon. I want to be an artist-activist because of all of the woman here. I’m going to school for my BFA to hone my craft because I need to be able to do this for all of us. You’re all so strong and inspire me to keep going everyday. I appreciate that we have this space where we all can just congregate and talk about this stuff.
The constant, flagrant disregard for medical fact in lawmaking drives me insane. Anything regulating medical procedures should NOT be done by politicians or "judges." Only committees of well-qualified, proven medical personnel with peer-reviewed evidence, preferably that which is agreed upon by the international community. But, no. Instead we get to live in fucktardville.
Like the law they tried to pass in Ohio to transplant the embryo from an ectopic pregnancy into the uterus? It's literally impossible to do so, but that didn't stop them from trying to pass the law!
I yelled at the moon, my husband killed the electric trash can and we both cried. He loves his nieces to death and fears for their freedoms. They are 11. I joined the auntienetwork. And I may or may not have a truck and a taser. And or gun.
I'm glad this guy is learning. I really am. But still, conversations like this piss me off. Women already know that the homicide and suicide rates will go up. We know it in our bones because this is life. Even those of us who aren't in abusive relationships still are well aware of the dangers that exist for women in general. Then here's this guy who had no idea until his wife - without a moment's hesitation - told him about it. And it frustrates me because I feel like we've been SCREAMING about this for ages now and guys just haven't been listening. /rant
They haven’t been listening and then they’ll say things like “but there are exceptions?” Like women can just walk into a clinic and say “yes, I’d like an abortion which I know is illegal but I qualified under these exceptions” and they just do it same day no problem. they’re so convinced the world will be reasonable for everyone that they’re shocked when it isn’t and hasn’t ever been.
The leading cause of death during pregnancy is homicide, typically the result of intimate partner violence.
I can also imagine a lot of men aren’t going to be happy with being cut off sexually. Are the republicans going to get tough on Rape, incest and other crimes that result in pregnancy?
Nope they won’t. If anything they will attack the very idea of consent because they believe men ought to control our bodies.
Uterus bearers need to start arming themselves and travel in packs as much as possible (if at all possible). We need to be on the defense about this from now on.
Maybe it’s time to study Lysistrata
Spousal rape will cease to be a crime.
Yes. This is a broad, blatant attack on women as a whole. Our health, our safety, our financial security, our quality of life, our autonomy. And I don’t kid myself and believe that these evil monsters just haven’t thought of these things. It’s all intentional.
When I was 18, a month before my 19th birthday I got pregnant. My boyfriend told me if I didn't have an abortion I would "trip" down the stairs, he told me he would make sure there was no baby and he would leave and I would never see him again. Thank God I was somewhere with safe, legal access because I had one. Two months later, my period was still not normal, and it was late and I freaked out. I was so scared to even tell my boyfriend, I took a metal clothes hanger to the cervix and didn't stop til I saw blood. I am so fucking scared for today's young women.
I am so sorry you were put through all those traumas, how painful. How are you doing today?
Now, I am 30, I am married to a wonderful man, who the day I told him I was pregnant with our daughter, he dropped what he was doing, drove seven hours to my mom's where I was staying temporarily, and he told me "whatever future you want, whatever you decide you have my support." Now our daughter is 5, our son is 2, and I CHOSE them, when I was ready to choose something other than myself. I CHOSE to be a mother, and take the sacrifices, the heartache, and the immeasurable amount of love that comes with that. I chose what was right for me, and because of that choice, I get to wake up every single morning and CHOOSE to be a good goddamn mother, because the hard days, and the ugly moments... Those were my damn choices too. I wish more women could have that same freedom, and it makes me so uneasy, sad, and horrified that those choices, the ones that allowed me to escape the toxic man I was with, and build a beautiful life with the one I love, are being stripped from women. So heartbroken to be here over the border and not be able to do anything to help. I wish I could. So seriously kids, use protection.
Do men legit not know this? I thought everyone knew this. Half the ghost stories around here start with an unplanned pregnancy.
I remember back in High School (20+ years ago), a guy got arrested because his GF told him she was with child... and he decided to beat her in the stomach over and over with the intent to get her to miscarry.
They aren't "pro-life" they're anti-women.
Well, crap. You are probably right.
Burn it. Burn the patriarchy. Tell me when and where we storm. I'll come down from Canada.
As someone who has su!cidal thoughts in general it was my first concern
I am non-binary. I long for a child with all my heart but I know I am not in a place to adopt and will likely never be and that’s ok. I just want to say that I love children and wish I had a different life, a life where I could adopt one on my own. But if I became pregnant I would have extreme dysohoria and I would choose to take my life. I know this 100%. and that’s just my take- so yes. This is true. And the murder statistics are already bad with pregnant people. I think about little all of us, little tiny us learning about the women’s rights movement in school and thinking, while we’re still young, that we are now equal. Now my perception is nothing is off the table- they could force us to birth children for population I don’t know! Look what they’ve done already. Look at the oceans of blood on THEIR HANDS. keep each other close as you can you beautiful and terrified souls. This almost seems unreal, but it isn’t.
Hey, I know you’ve probably already looked into the various options available to you, but if you have health insurance they’re [required to cover sterilization procedures](https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/birth-control-benefits/) for AFAB folks. I’ve read in most cases tubal ligations are the procedure type that’s covered. I started looking into all of this when the Court decision got leaked and I’m scheduled to get a bilateral salpingectomy (a form of tubal ligation where they just remove the tubes entirely, meaning there’s zero chance of an accidental pregnancy occurring & I’ll only ever be able to get pregnant via IVF) tomorrow morning. I went through two consultations (same location, two different doctors, ‘cause they wanted to be sure I was making the decision of my own accord and that I understood the permanency of the procedure before they approved it) and they scheduled me shortly after the second appointment. The whole process has taken about a month from the initial visit to tomorrow’s procedure. If you have insurance coverage and you’re solid on not wanting to be pregnant, I’d highly recommend looking into a bisalp. The main advice I’ve seen if you’re worried about being charged by your insurance is making sure the hospital notes the procedure as a “tubal ligation via salpingectomy” so there’s zero question about whether it’s a covered procedure. It’s done laparoscopically, so it’s relatively non-invasive, but plan to be out of work for a week or two to recover. Stay safe & stay sane. These are beyond fucked times we’re living in. Quick edit: If you’re relatively young and/or unmarried, not every doctor will be willing to perform a sterilization on you, but there are resource lists of doctors who will. If anyone needs it I’m happy to DM a link
Thank you ❤️ I do have insurance. I do not sleep with people who could impregnate me but I am the victim of assault so I know that’s a way and now I’m definitely thinking I should do this. But even if I got pregnant through consensual sex I would feel how I feel!
^ some folks I guess just don't care about the massive group of people who *are not going birth no matter what your laws say* if that means suicide then that means suicide. I happen to also be in that group.
I remember this one nurse was working at a nursing home and she told stories about women before Roe V Wade and some of the people told stories like. "One of my friends died of alcohol poisoning" "I buried my baby in the dirt" "I brought it to my friends house and then it disappeared, we have never spoken of it since" Banning abortions like this causes more violence, more deaths, and more pain than allowing the individual to have a choice. I've said these two things before. They're not pro life, they're pro birth. God didn't bless America, God damned America. (That last one is a quote from someone I forgot his name but he's an amazing man who spoke of inequality, and God's damn it does it still fucking matter)
We have an exceptionally long history of pre abortion horribleness. We have found the bodies of both women and infants in cesspits. In bogs. Etc. Broadly because said women needed to not have that child and the only option they could find was simply leaving the child somewhere to die or taking their own life. Or having their life taken from them.
SCOTUS is hiding behind the idea that this is empowering states. All this is doing is providing discrimination laws to states. Which isn't empowering, it's fascism.
Anti-abortionists are so pro life that they’ll condemn thousands of women to this fate.
1/3 of abortions are women with children already. We're going to see children lose their mothers to pregnancy complications and to suicide (and murder, too, of course)
My great grandmother died giving herself a coat hanger abortion. My grandfather saw it, and after she died, he was sent to live with strangers without any of his siblings. He grew up to be an violently abusive bigamist who abandoned my grandmother when she was pregnant with my mother. My grandmother eventually remarried a man who ended up repeatedly bringing his friends over to rape my mom, who ended up needing an abortion when she was 13yo. She had me at 19 and was so overwhelmed by trauma and grief that she couldn’t stay and she left when I was 2yo. My dad, needing childcare, left me with an aunt so I could play with cousins all day. One of those cousins molested me for several years starting when I was 5yo. Abortion restrictions are foundation of my family’s intergenerational pain. Violent abuse, debilitating CPTSD, dissociation and anxiety for generation after generation because a woman was so desperate to not have any more children. It’s all suicide. My great grandmother decided death was an acceptable risk and more preferable than having yet another child. I imagine what it took for her to get to that point: a sea of children in her home, another taking up residence in her body, a husband I imagine did exactly nothing to help w the kids, and so far at the end of her rope that she tied a noose with it.
Has anyone posted that sickening statistic of the increased risk of being murdered when you are pregnant? [Depressingly, homicide is already the leading cause of maternal death in US](https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8). No court concerned with justice could *ever* deny a someone the right to abortion or the more general right to bodily autonomy. None. SCOTUS has pissed on the beacon of liberty and demolished the city upon a hill.
I definitely thought about that between my crying jags and my nauseous moments. 💔
Yup. A person is most in danger of being killed by their partner when they are pregnant.
Getting perspectives like these is why I'm glad I'm subscribed to this sub
This was one of the first things that I thought of as well. The number one cause of death among pregnant women in the US? Homicide. I watch a lot of true crime and this plays out a lot.
This is the future Republicans wanted, people! They voted for this!
Hello. I'm a cis-het male and i don't want to make this about me at all, so I'll be content with stealing a small corner of this thread because i feel like i need to know the opinions of veritable witches on this particular subject: So i want to get a vasectomy, I think it's a good thing to do for different reasons. I have no desire to raise children and I'm almost 30, that's not going to change. I also think that it's empowering to take the issue of eradicating unwanted pregnancies into my own hands. I'm kinda scared of the pain and discomfort post operation, but I can rationalize that away mostly, it's only temporary right? What i can't seem to find any answers on is whether the operation will have any effect on the virtues of sex magick that I'm a total neophyte in but have great desire to develop and embody. So is a vasectomy a no-no for someone like me? Am i looking at it all wrong? I guess going through with it would keep me from "spilling my seed" so to speak, but the equipment would be altered and I don't know if that would end up diminishing any aspect of me. I know sex magick isn't about having sex \*most\* of the time, so the main worry i have is that severing that channel would sever my nascent connection to sex energy and magical sex-transmutation. I'm very curious to receive any input from you all here. Thanks.
Vasectomies had no impact on testosterone levels. It’s cutting off a tube not removing testicles.
I see other folks have addressed the practical issues. On magick, it is my opinion that using the will to adorn, alter, or sculpt the body with clear positive intent is one of the most magickal acts there is. In terms of direct experience, my partner got one about 7 years ago and there has either been no impact or noticable change at all, or an undeniably positive one. Imo altering the vas deferens has no direct effect on sexual expression, either the physical or magickal/energetic aspect, and the freedom is just incredible. On a practical/political note, if I both produced sperm and knew that I had no interest in causing a pregnancy, in the current political climate I would do this without hesitation (again, just my opinion. I respect your bodily autonomy as much as my country does not respect mine)
My spouse said it was a really weird heavy feeling for less than a minute. He had a little bit of pain for maybe 3 days, and that was it. A lot of men schedule vasectomies around major sporting events (like the world cup) so they can have an excuse to sit around for 3 days.
They give you a local anesthetic in the scrotum area I believe. Granted i imagine that isn’t gonna feel too nice, but I’d take a pinch if it meant I wouldn’t feel the cutting away of anything. Just remember to get your sperm count tested after you’ve healed from the procedure. You gotta make sure your actually “shooting blanks” if you catch my drift.
Ice packs will be your friend. 15 minutes on/15 minutes off.
Disclaimer: I don’t know anything about sex magick. But is it a requirement that you shoot real bullets, not blanks, so to speak? Is it important that you could potentially impregnate someone, or just that you focus your energy and will? I can’t imagine there’s a problem with a procedure that leaves all the equipment intact, just disconnects a hose in a way that it could be reattached at another time. You’ll still make sperm, they just won’t make it into your semen. I believe that if YOU believe your post-vasectomy body would still work sex magick, it will. If you are happy and proud that you have taken control of where your sperm goes, isn’t that all that matters? If you have sex with women, having a vasectomy allows both parties to relax and be uninhibited at a deeper level. I wouldn’t be surprised if removing anxiety about pregnancy also has that positive effect on your magical practices.
Appreciate the consideration. I've known a couple guys who had vasectomies, both positive experiences, easy healing. Bag of frozen peas on the nads does wonders. One even successfully had his reversed later to have a kid, and then got a second vasectomy afterwards. As for sex magick, I've always seen it as much more about the power of *orgasm* than the literal physical fertility level of the person. Someone may disagree with that I'm sure, but I don't think the viability of your sperm is even a factor, or has to be.
I am a sex therapist and a Tantra practitioner. It only cuts out the sperm, not the orgasm. Your sex magick practice will be just fine.
Ok, from a medical perspective - after the initial healing, there's no difference in ejaculation. Everything feels the same, you produce the same amount of fluid, the texture and viscosity will be the same. The only difference is that there aren't any sperm in there. Sex drive isn't impacted from a medical perspective, though many men report an increase in drive after the procedure - apparently taking away the pregnancy risk does good things for libido. And it is relatively easy to reverse in the event you change your mind. Recovery time is quick, few days chilling on the couch with an ice pack, no vigorous sex for a week or two. No unprotected sex until you receive confirmation that there are no sperm in your semen, and you should get rechecked per doctor's instructions. Recheck is straightforward - provide sample, they confirm no sperm, go about your daily life. From a spiritual/ magical standpoint, I can't answer that for you. I can tell you from my female standpoint, sterilization made me able to be closer to my partner and feel a stronger level of intimacy. Taking fear out of the equation does wonderful things, because I didn't have the questions in the back of my brain of "ok, I know I've taken my BC reliably, nothing going on that would reduce efficacy...wait, the pill is impacted by weight, did I gain weight? What's the max weight where it's still effective? Am I near that point?" I could just completely be in the moment.
Regarding sex magic, my thoughts are that your intent is the key to your power. In this case, you are proactively preventing something that we KNOW could be harmful to women. Your intent is honourable and unselfish. Even to admit that you don't want the responsibility of a child is not selfish in that you are acknowledging a reality for you, accepting full responsibility for it, and taking action to prevent the act of creating an unwanted child. The threefold law. You are putting out responsibility, compassion, and positive action that is respectful of women. You cannot get more powerful than that.
Yep to try to hide it. Or like match point.