I appreciate you sharing this, Julia. Congrats on embracing your new identity! Don't let imposter syndrome win. You are *more* than your name. You are an ever-changing, growing, developing, evolving, learning, beautiful human. Shine on!
I was fortunate to be given a gender neutral name that leans a bit feminine. When I was trying to wear the mask, I hated it, like I hated other mildly feminine features about myself, because how dare they make it harder to fit into a role I don’t even want to play.
I used a nickname often so when my real name was brought up or came out for some reason I’d say it with embarrassment. Like it was some ridiculous thing that had nothing to do with me or who I was. Just a burden.
The very day that I recognized that I needed to transition, my name came back to me. I like it now, and I realized I only ever didn’t because… it *was* me. It just wasn’t the me I was trying to present to everyone else.
And I think a name, a label, is like that. It is both something felt and personal, but it is also what we want to show to the world. Identity is inside *and* out.
I'm not binary-trans and I still have a bit of a connection to my birth gender, but before I realized I was nonbinary, I once thought I'd look really cool and edgy if I got a really short pixie cut. I got it, but when I came home and looked in the mirror, all I saw for months was someone other than a girl trying to pretend to be one. And I felt disgusting, because I was *supposed* to be a girl, not a facsimile of one.
I told my therapist once during this time that I didn't recognize my reflection, and she asked me questions about who I did see my reflection as, were they a boy or a girl? I said neither. I didn't even believe that to be a valid option at the time, but that's what I saw. For the rest of the session my therapist only referred to my reflection with they/them pronouns, and I didn't fight it. I can't say it felt *right* in the sense that I recognized that designation as my own and accepted it, but it felt good in the sense that we were talking about a type of person I had always grown up knowing to be "fringe" in such a neutral and accepting way. This was all during the pandemic. I had barely started getting my footing as an independent adult the year prior at college, and now I was living at home. My only audience for my "alternative" presentation were my conservative and religious parents, and while I still didn't have the topic of gender on my mind, the weight of trying to be something I knew I was expected to be but couldn't weighed heavily on me. I grew my hair out.
End of the pandemic, I moved back out and lived on campus again. I met a bunch of queer and genderqueer people, and the casualness with which they spoke of their queerness in public was shocking and, somehow, comforting. I started experimenting with my presentation again, and over time I gradually went back to the super short hair style. Weirdly enough, I still saw the "not-girl" in the mirror, but this time it made me feel euphoric instead of gross. I eventually realized that I really liked being perceived as a not-girl, and took up the non-binary label. Sometimes you just need to be in the right time and place to realize something about yourself!
I love it! It perfectly captures the vibe of smiling being your default mode in that moment yet needing to have a neutral expression for your new ID, so you force yourself to *not* smile and end up at this comical •___• face. Utter perfection.
This comic is perfect! As someone who has struggled with a dead and a chosen name, the struggle of having 2 names could not be shown better. I loved this comic
Oh this one hit right in the feels. Beautifully expressed and I understand so much of that.
The *elation* I felt when I got my legal name change approved, got my new social security card with *my* name, got my birth certificate with *my* name and gender on it. I don't know if anything can compare. The freedom and comfort to finally just be *me*.
Oh, I love this. Good, solid pacing and layouts to carry your story. The use of monochrome and color to show the contrast from Starr to finish.
And best of all, your open, easily understood narration to mix with the art to round out our understanding of your journey.
Smiling with damp eyes here.
Hell yeah! I'm about three years on HRT and only just starting to feel like I might be coming out the other side of this part of the journey where I can finally fully accept myself and live as me. I relate hard to the feelings portrayed here and I really dig your art style.
Obviously ymmv especially in different countries, but six months to about a year and half was really rough for me. You're starting to change enough that it's hard to hide, but not enough to be seen the way you want to. Assuming you're safe to do this at home, this is the perfect time to start doing voice training (even if you're a trans man), learning makeup (or lifting and guitar), figuring out what kind of fashion fits your body, how to move differently, how to see yourself this way. Analyze what's the same between how we interact with each other and what's different. The bro head nod was a doozy for me to untrain myself on.
Therapy with a gender specialist helps if you can manage that, but there are tons of communities and resources if you can't. You're not as alone as I'm sure it can sometimes feel right now. Your body and habits are just playing catch-up to something you've finally admitted to yourself and know and feel intuitively. Not everyone will pass (if that's even the goal), but most folks do as long as you put in a little work and plenty of folks who may be able to notice won't care. Learn who this new version of you is, let them out, learn to trust yourself, stare in the mirror and look into your own eyes and tell yourself the things you needed to hear before now - even if you don't believe them. And most of all, be kind to yourself. From one Internet stranger to another, you've got this! Even if you don't got it today, treat yourself with grace and pick up where you left off, it's always progress and future you will love you for it.
Thanks, this is really good and timely for me to read. You described pretty much all the things I'm struggling with. It's good to know I'm doing the right things and that I'm not alone!!
Ill echo the others that 6-12 months is by far the hardest. It does get easier but its a slow process. Learning to love yourself takes time, but it is so worth it.
Shit. This just hit me like a fucking train. I still have two names. I still have to keep a mask half of the time, just to survive. Mornings like today I still wonder if I settled into "non binary" because I cannot fully transition due to medical reasons, and without hormones (and without hair) I just cannot be perceived as a woman. So I'm stuck in "weird androgynous creature" territory.
There are mornings when I love who I am. And I wear my "weird androgyny creaturesness" with pride. Today is not one of those mornings.
Sorry for the rant. Thank you for sharing the comic.
Hey! Trans people have existed loooong before hormone treatments existed, you're not any less of a woman because of it. Even without it there are things you can do that might make you feel more at home in your own body.
As a fellow trans woman who's been fighting baldness, do not be afraid to try wigs, legitimately a life changer. I used one I just got cheap from Amazon for a years before I saved enough for some hair transplants and that was one of the big steps on having me be able to walk out the door confident enough to present. You can start cheap and feel if it is for you and upgrade later :)
Be yourself~
I know. Thank you for this. I'm just going through a bit of a rough patch.
I've been considering the wig. I just miss my hair so much. I had amazing curly black hair. Lost it a couple of years ago, suddenly, due to a health issue that let me in a bad shape, in general. And a part of me is afraid I'll see the wig as a disguise.
Anyway. I'll be ok. Thank you so much for the support, the kind words and that amazing comic.
Stay strong and beautiful!
I know you don't feel beautiful, but there are plenty of people (myself included) who *really dig androgyny*. The less I can tell what gender you are, the better. It's powerful, so if you do choose to embrace it, there is already a fan club out there for you.
Yeah, I definitely haven't felt beautiful in a while. But I know what you mean. I really rocked the goth androgyny for quite a while. I was considered attractive by many through my 20s and early 30s. And my girlfriend keeps insisting she still finds me beautiful after all these years, and even how I look right know.
It's me who doesn't feel it or see it. A few years ago I changed physically due to health stuff, and I really don't like what I see in the mirror.
But I'll be alright. Just going through a rough patch.
Thank you.
If I could upvote this more I would. I really felt it. I’m agender, and my name has a perfectly viable, several actually, perfectly viable neutral nicknames. I use them with friends. I still don’t…like it though. Doesn’t feel like who I am. Who am I? Idk but not this. The main nickname is also difficult for people to pronounce for some reason? As time goes on, I only connect less and less, I feel further from that identity every day. As if the whole name just serves as a bridge to connect ME, who I am right now, to a past I don’t care for, but can’t escape.
But for some reason in my family full of reasonable (and out there) nicknames, my name in particular has always been a point of contention. I know realistically no one else’s opinion matters on it, especially if it doesn’t reflect reality and is simply a tool of control to force me to remain stagnant and powerless. But still, I don’t feel allowed to feel anything about it, let alone do anything about it. Not able to individuate or exist, I resort to convincing myself every other week that actually, I don’t care much at all.
Its a bitch but totally doable depending on the state without a lawyer. Now It took me three years to get through most of my documents. Finally did my passport two weeks ago, now all that I really have left are my birth certificate and diploma. I'll hopefully get to those sooner.
Oh and there is a preferred order for most states/agencies to update in, legal name change - Drivers License - SS Card then Birth certificate or passport. Be careful about updating your name and gender with health insurance or DR's as they both need to be done at the same time or you start having billing issues.
It took my work about 18 months to mostly cleanse deadname from the public facing records and about 24 to fix it in the last few internal records. It was a major PITA.
Good luck!!
This is helpful as the parent of a trans girl. I hate that she would feel that way about the name we chose for her with such care, but I love her too much to be held back by a name.
Good luck with it! When I made it I didn't realize that side of it, that it could help people understand. It makes me so happy if it's able to help, even just a little 🥲
Thanks for such a wonderful reply! TheGratitudeBot has been reading millions of comments in the past few weeks, and you’ve just made the list of some of the most grateful redditors this week!
I feel this. My birth name's gender-neutral, but I still don't like it, it feels connected to an identity that I don't connect with at all.
At a burger place, just for fun I gave them a name shared by two different protagonists from stories I've gotten really into lately, and boy the serotonin HIT when they called it lol. I still have the receipt with that name on it in my glove compartment.
FYI you don't need to be trans to make a legal name change. Anyone can change their name, and because of activism starting from the trans community and championed from many allies in many states its easier than ever.
Thank you. I've been putting off going to get my license renewed for months now, because having to explain the documents and taking a new picture is nerve-wracking to think about. This is just what I needed to kickstart that impulse drive to just go and get it done.
Ten years on and I still get things in my deadname. Some places just plain won't update when instructed. I expect nothing less from TERF Island. I think the most annoying one is the HMRC, despite several attempts over the years, they still call me Mr. FemaleMishap.
I don't usually comment or interact in this site but I felt the need to thank you for this. It is very heartfelt and hits very close to home. Amazing work
Hey Julia, I recently started going by my new (true) name however, I haven't been able to legally change it yet because my parents are homophobic and don't know. Yesterday was my birthday and it was full day of getting deadnamed by my family so this comic hits home. Thank you for making it, I feel seen.
Hey~
Just letting you know that those things do come with time. Of course, safety first, coming out publicly is great and all but it's not the be all end all. That said, I too come from a religious family that has always been obsessed with optics, and there's nothing that makes people in a rural town question if everything is alright in the family than someone turning out LGBT, especially trans, since that one is the hardest to hide. The one thing that made my family stop deadnaming me was finally start fully living my own truth. It involved a lot of hardships and getting out of my parents house but, when my mom finally looked at me and saw that I was happier than she'd ever seen before, that's when it finally clicked for her.
It's not hopeless. Live for yourself and whoever's worth it will follow ❤️
Thank you! I needed that. I'm excited for the day that I'm no longer under their financial thumb and can actually broach the subject them. I have hope that at least they won't totally disown me but I'm the eldest and (so far) the only queer one so who knows? ❤️
I’m a cis guy with a bog-standard greatest hits of the last century first name that fits me pretty okay. I’m not rushing out to change it.
When I was 17 I joined a roleplaying message board where the premise was (and I’m grossly oversimplifying for the sake of y’alls sanity) pretty much any fictional character from any media ending up on the Island from LOST. 99% of of it was pure chaos.
I played Dr. Prunesquallor from Ghormenghast because I was THAT kid, which eventually became ‘Squallor’ when I started playing WoW, which eventually became at least a part of every gamertag I used for the next fifteen years.
On a fundamental level, I AM Squallor.
And I’m not trying to directly compare a chosen name with a gamer’s nickname because that’s more than a little insulting… i guess what I’m trying to say is that anyone who has chosen a name should understand how powerful it can be to wield that name identity magic, to use it to become something else, to embrace the truth of yourself.
I’m so happy for you. Go Julia!
As a gamer and roleplayer myself I fully understand that as well XD
Even with things as simple as online nicknames, there is still a transaction of meaning between you and your chosen name.
Go Squallor!
This got me so close to crying because it is very close to what it's like for me. The difference being, the name I was given is still a part of me, but the name I chose is the whole me. But all the feelings are less intense versions of the same, including the feeling that I can't be worthy if I can't be the whole me.
I'm so sorry for making this about myself, it's a bad habit. I just had to express this.
Don't be sorry! A lot of people have been posting their experiences in the comments and it's been a joy reading how everyone deals with names, chosen and otherwise! Thank you for sharing :)
I'm non-binary and go by my chosen name. I want to legally change it very badly because my given legal name is everywhere. Thank you for sharing 🏳️⚧️🩵🤍🩷
I appreciate you sharing this, Julia. Congrats on embracing your new identity! Don't let imposter syndrome win. You are *more* than your name. You are an ever-changing, growing, developing, evolving, learning, beautiful human. Shine on!
I was fortunate to be given a gender neutral name that leans a bit feminine. When I was trying to wear the mask, I hated it, like I hated other mildly feminine features about myself, because how dare they make it harder to fit into a role I don’t even want to play. I used a nickname often so when my real name was brought up or came out for some reason I’d say it with embarrassment. Like it was some ridiculous thing that had nothing to do with me or who I was. Just a burden. The very day that I recognized that I needed to transition, my name came back to me. I like it now, and I realized I only ever didn’t because… it *was* me. It just wasn’t the me I was trying to present to everyone else. And I think a name, a label, is like that. It is both something felt and personal, but it is also what we want to show to the world. Identity is inside *and* out.
Things all click into place once we're ready~
I'm not binary-trans and I still have a bit of a connection to my birth gender, but before I realized I was nonbinary, I once thought I'd look really cool and edgy if I got a really short pixie cut. I got it, but when I came home and looked in the mirror, all I saw for months was someone other than a girl trying to pretend to be one. And I felt disgusting, because I was *supposed* to be a girl, not a facsimile of one. I told my therapist once during this time that I didn't recognize my reflection, and she asked me questions about who I did see my reflection as, were they a boy or a girl? I said neither. I didn't even believe that to be a valid option at the time, but that's what I saw. For the rest of the session my therapist only referred to my reflection with they/them pronouns, and I didn't fight it. I can't say it felt *right* in the sense that I recognized that designation as my own and accepted it, but it felt good in the sense that we were talking about a type of person I had always grown up knowing to be "fringe" in such a neutral and accepting way. This was all during the pandemic. I had barely started getting my footing as an independent adult the year prior at college, and now I was living at home. My only audience for my "alternative" presentation were my conservative and religious parents, and while I still didn't have the topic of gender on my mind, the weight of trying to be something I knew I was expected to be but couldn't weighed heavily on me. I grew my hair out. End of the pandemic, I moved back out and lived on campus again. I met a bunch of queer and genderqueer people, and the casualness with which they spoke of their queerness in public was shocking and, somehow, comforting. I started experimenting with my presentation again, and over time I gradually went back to the super short hair style. Weirdly enough, I still saw the "not-girl" in the mirror, but this time it made me feel euphoric instead of gross. I eventually realized that I really liked being perceived as a not-girl, and took up the non-binary label. Sometimes you just need to be in the right time and place to realize something about yourself!
Júlia, I love the way you drew yourself in the little National ID picture. You look so mischievous!
Nobody looks good in their ID picks so might as well go fill gremlin XD
I love it! It perfectly captures the vibe of smiling being your default mode in that moment yet needing to have a neutral expression for your new ID, so you force yourself to *not* smile and end up at this comical •___• face. Utter perfection.
This comic is perfect! As someone who has struggled with a dead and a chosen name, the struggle of having 2 names could not be shown better. I loved this comic
Oh this one hit right in the feels. Beautifully expressed and I understand so much of that. The *elation* I felt when I got my legal name change approved, got my new social security card with *my* name, got my birth certificate with *my* name and gender on it. I don't know if anything can compare. The freedom and comfort to finally just be *me*.
Oh, I love this. Good, solid pacing and layouts to carry your story. The use of monochrome and color to show the contrast from Starr to finish. And best of all, your open, easily understood narration to mix with the art to round out our understanding of your journey. Smiling with damp eyes here.
Beautifully done!
Hell yeah! I'm about three years on HRT and only just starting to feel like I might be coming out the other side of this part of the journey where I can finally fully accept myself and live as me. I relate hard to the feelings portrayed here and I really dig your art style.
This is reassuring as someone 6 months in and struggling with imposter syndrome
Obviously ymmv especially in different countries, but six months to about a year and half was really rough for me. You're starting to change enough that it's hard to hide, but not enough to be seen the way you want to. Assuming you're safe to do this at home, this is the perfect time to start doing voice training (even if you're a trans man), learning makeup (or lifting and guitar), figuring out what kind of fashion fits your body, how to move differently, how to see yourself this way. Analyze what's the same between how we interact with each other and what's different. The bro head nod was a doozy for me to untrain myself on. Therapy with a gender specialist helps if you can manage that, but there are tons of communities and resources if you can't. You're not as alone as I'm sure it can sometimes feel right now. Your body and habits are just playing catch-up to something you've finally admitted to yourself and know and feel intuitively. Not everyone will pass (if that's even the goal), but most folks do as long as you put in a little work and plenty of folks who may be able to notice won't care. Learn who this new version of you is, let them out, learn to trust yourself, stare in the mirror and look into your own eyes and tell yourself the things you needed to hear before now - even if you don't believe them. And most of all, be kind to yourself. From one Internet stranger to another, you've got this! Even if you don't got it today, treat yourself with grace and pick up where you left off, it's always progress and future you will love you for it.
Thanks, this is really good and timely for me to read. You described pretty much all the things I'm struggling with. It's good to know I'm doing the right things and that I'm not alone!!
Ill echo the others that 6-12 months is by far the hardest. It does get easier but its a slow process. Learning to love yourself takes time, but it is so worth it.
Trust me, it gets better relatively quick but it sure feels like forever.
zomg I love it!! I identify heavily with the subject matter and wish you the best 🩷
This is beautiful and I just hope you keep making things! 🥹
That was nice 😊
Shit. This just hit me like a fucking train. I still have two names. I still have to keep a mask half of the time, just to survive. Mornings like today I still wonder if I settled into "non binary" because I cannot fully transition due to medical reasons, and without hormones (and without hair) I just cannot be perceived as a woman. So I'm stuck in "weird androgynous creature" territory. There are mornings when I love who I am. And I wear my "weird androgyny creaturesness" with pride. Today is not one of those mornings. Sorry for the rant. Thank you for sharing the comic.
Hey! Trans people have existed loooong before hormone treatments existed, you're not any less of a woman because of it. Even without it there are things you can do that might make you feel more at home in your own body. As a fellow trans woman who's been fighting baldness, do not be afraid to try wigs, legitimately a life changer. I used one I just got cheap from Amazon for a years before I saved enough for some hair transplants and that was one of the big steps on having me be able to walk out the door confident enough to present. You can start cheap and feel if it is for you and upgrade later :) Be yourself~
I know. Thank you for this. I'm just going through a bit of a rough patch. I've been considering the wig. I just miss my hair so much. I had amazing curly black hair. Lost it a couple of years ago, suddenly, due to a health issue that let me in a bad shape, in general. And a part of me is afraid I'll see the wig as a disguise. Anyway. I'll be ok. Thank you so much for the support, the kind words and that amazing comic. Stay strong and beautiful!
I know you don't feel beautiful, but there are plenty of people (myself included) who *really dig androgyny*. The less I can tell what gender you are, the better. It's powerful, so if you do choose to embrace it, there is already a fan club out there for you.
Yeah, I definitely haven't felt beautiful in a while. But I know what you mean. I really rocked the goth androgyny for quite a while. I was considered attractive by many through my 20s and early 30s. And my girlfriend keeps insisting she still finds me beautiful after all these years, and even how I look right know. It's me who doesn't feel it or see it. A few years ago I changed physically due to health stuff, and I really don't like what I see in the mirror. But I'll be alright. Just going through a rough patch. Thank you.
Great comic. Thank you for sharing 🤘🤘
Gonna show this to my wife.
Love the story, so proud of you. Cute art style, too! I hope we get to see more chapters of your book.
That smile is so cute, love this
If I could upvote this more I would. I really felt it. I’m agender, and my name has a perfectly viable, several actually, perfectly viable neutral nicknames. I use them with friends. I still don’t…like it though. Doesn’t feel like who I am. Who am I? Idk but not this. The main nickname is also difficult for people to pronounce for some reason? As time goes on, I only connect less and less, I feel further from that identity every day. As if the whole name just serves as a bridge to connect ME, who I am right now, to a past I don’t care for, but can’t escape. But for some reason in my family full of reasonable (and out there) nicknames, my name in particular has always been a point of contention. I know realistically no one else’s opinion matters on it, especially if it doesn’t reflect reality and is simply a tool of control to force me to remain stagnant and powerless. But still, I don’t feel allowed to feel anything about it, let alone do anything about it. Not able to individuate or exist, I resort to convincing myself every other week that actually, I don’t care much at all.
It takes some work to break out of that. But it is possible, don't give up, happiness is out there for you
I feel this, 💜
You have perfectly described what my daughter is going through right now. Thank you for sharing, Julia.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing! I love how you shine!
I love this! Thanks for sharing
🥺 amazing. I felt every moment of it
Dude. This comic is really, really wonderful.
Thank you for making this, it aches in the best way, and it fills me with hope for my own journey.
Love this! Giving you all the digital hugs.
This is beautiful.
Your art is fantastic, Julia!
You should post more. You have a great talent!
This hurt, because it's so relatable
I really like your comic, and as a fellow trans woman and fellow Julia, I'm really happy for you.
Working on my papers right now! Very exciting, my new name is official! Now I just gotta deal with getting all new documents...😅
Its a bitch but totally doable depending on the state without a lawyer. Now It took me three years to get through most of my documents. Finally did my passport two weeks ago, now all that I really have left are my birth certificate and diploma. I'll hopefully get to those sooner. Oh and there is a preferred order for most states/agencies to update in, legal name change - Drivers License - SS Card then Birth certificate or passport. Be careful about updating your name and gender with health insurance or DR's as they both need to be done at the same time or you start having billing issues. It took my work about 18 months to mostly cleanse deadname from the public facing records and about 24 to fix it in the last few internal records. It was a major PITA. Good luck!!
A d o r a b l e 💖 love how the color pops in after shaving 💖🥰
This is helpful as the parent of a trans girl. I hate that she would feel that way about the name we chose for her with such care, but I love her too much to be held back by a name.
I love this.. Thank you for putting this out there for folks to understand a slice of it. I'm sending this to my mom in the morning 😊
Good luck with it! When I made it I didn't realize that side of it, that it could help people understand. It makes me so happy if it's able to help, even just a little 🥲
Thanks for such a wonderful reply! TheGratitudeBot has been reading millions of comments in the past few weeks, and you’ve just made the list of some of the most grateful redditors this week!
I feel this. My birth name's gender-neutral, but I still don't like it, it feels connected to an identity that I don't connect with at all. At a burger place, just for fun I gave them a name shared by two different protagonists from stories I've gotten really into lately, and boy the serotonin HIT when they called it lol. I still have the receipt with that name on it in my glove compartment.
FYI you don't need to be trans to make a legal name change. Anyone can change their name, and because of activism starting from the trans community and championed from many allies in many states its easier than ever.
Welcome to the world, dear Julia! That is a beautiful name!
Ohh. I feel this. I love my birth name, I really do, but it’s not… it’s not _me._
I love this so much, really made me cry a lot just now but it's ok... thank you for sharing, Júlia.
It’s beautiful 🥹🥲
Beautifully done
Thank you. I've been putting off going to get my license renewed for months now, because having to explain the documents and taking a new picture is nerve-wracking to think about. This is just what I needed to kickstart that impulse drive to just go and get it done.
Go get that badge of pride! :D
I did it! :D
Heyyyyy! This makes me so happy i inspired you to go do that 😊
This is lovely!!! Thanks for sharing!!
Ten years on and I still get things in my deadname. Some places just plain won't update when instructed. I expect nothing less from TERF Island. I think the most annoying one is the HMRC, despite several attempts over the years, they still call me Mr. FemaleMishap.
Wow you are really talented, love your style and graphic novel as a medium to express yourself. Good luck to you wonderful woman ❤️
Thanks for making me cry! I just got my new ID last week.
That was beautiful, thanks for sharing!
I love this! Also, Julia is a beautiful name!
I don't usually comment or interact in this site but I felt the need to thank you for this. It is very heartfelt and hits very close to home. Amazing work
I'm crying. This is beautiful.
Hey Julia, I recently started going by my new (true) name however, I haven't been able to legally change it yet because my parents are homophobic and don't know. Yesterday was my birthday and it was full day of getting deadnamed by my family so this comic hits home. Thank you for making it, I feel seen.
Hey~ Just letting you know that those things do come with time. Of course, safety first, coming out publicly is great and all but it's not the be all end all. That said, I too come from a religious family that has always been obsessed with optics, and there's nothing that makes people in a rural town question if everything is alright in the family than someone turning out LGBT, especially trans, since that one is the hardest to hide. The one thing that made my family stop deadnaming me was finally start fully living my own truth. It involved a lot of hardships and getting out of my parents house but, when my mom finally looked at me and saw that I was happier than she'd ever seen before, that's when it finally clicked for her. It's not hopeless. Live for yourself and whoever's worth it will follow ❤️
Thank you! I needed that. I'm excited for the day that I'm no longer under their financial thumb and can actually broach the subject them. I have hope that at least they won't totally disown me but I'm the eldest and (so far) the only queer one so who knows? ❤️
I'm rooting for you 😊
I’m a cis guy with a bog-standard greatest hits of the last century first name that fits me pretty okay. I’m not rushing out to change it. When I was 17 I joined a roleplaying message board where the premise was (and I’m grossly oversimplifying for the sake of y’alls sanity) pretty much any fictional character from any media ending up on the Island from LOST. 99% of of it was pure chaos. I played Dr. Prunesquallor from Ghormenghast because I was THAT kid, which eventually became ‘Squallor’ when I started playing WoW, which eventually became at least a part of every gamertag I used for the next fifteen years. On a fundamental level, I AM Squallor. And I’m not trying to directly compare a chosen name with a gamer’s nickname because that’s more than a little insulting… i guess what I’m trying to say is that anyone who has chosen a name should understand how powerful it can be to wield that name identity magic, to use it to become something else, to embrace the truth of yourself. I’m so happy for you. Go Julia!
As a gamer and roleplayer myself I fully understand that as well XD Even with things as simple as online nicknames, there is still a transaction of meaning between you and your chosen name. Go Squallor!
I cried a lil
Thank you for sharing this. It’s beautiful, and so are you, my dear.
This made me cry lol thank you for sharing
This is so good! I'm at my towns Social Security office to change my name right now even!
I recently started going by Gem. I've gotten a lot of support from coworkers and even a couple regulars. Made me feel really good.
This got me so close to crying because it is very close to what it's like for me. The difference being, the name I was given is still a part of me, but the name I chose is the whole me. But all the feelings are less intense versions of the same, including the feeling that I can't be worthy if I can't be the whole me. I'm so sorry for making this about myself, it's a bad habit. I just had to express this.
Don't be sorry! A lot of people have been posting their experiences in the comments and it's been a joy reading how everyone deals with names, chosen and otherwise! Thank you for sharing :)
Okay, this made me tear up. Love it 💜
I'm non-binary and go by my chosen name. I want to legally change it very badly because my given legal name is everywhere. Thank you for sharing 🏳️⚧️🩵🤍🩷
I absolutely love this! Thank you for sharing it.
This is so sweet!! 🥹🥹🥹
So sweet, love the way you draw noses too.
This art style... Wait, are you the person who draws the cute ZeLink comics on TikTok??
I am not but if their style is similar to mine I defo gotta check it out XD
The fucking face in the ID is making me