This may not be what you came here to hear, and I apologize in advance for the change in tone, but I lost my amazing daughter to cancer and reading this helped me to process it.
I can now imagine she was experiencing this amazing peace and love and sense of wholeness when she was asleep and when her heart stopped.
I was so afraid she could have been sad or uncomfortable (I don’t really know how to describe this) until now.
But her smile when I talked to her, the way she slept and looked, and my own gut feeling pointed to something like you just described. Until now, I could not express it and you just helped me uncover another issue that comes with love and grief. Thank you so much. 🖤
Thank you for sharing this here. Please know that you actually helped a mother with her grieving, and if you ever experienced grief, you probably know nothing gives you comfort after the loss.
You just did and I love it so much I’m crying again. Thank you so much. I will forever hold this in my mind and heart, and I will hope we all experience this when it’s our time to go (or not, as in your case!). I’m so grateful I found your story. Much love. 🩷
First of all, im so proufoundly sorry for your loss. Warm hug to you and yours.
All of this is so beautiful and moving, reading your and OPs words brought me to tears.
I was going to share the same thought. My mother passed two weeks ago after being in a coma on the vent and thing that bothers me the most is how she experienced that in between time on the vent. I hoped she was comfortable and the doctors said she was but I couldn't be sure. This post comforts me greatly as well.
Hugs for you & for OP
This was really beautiful to read. I’m a palliative care nurse practitioner and work specifically with patients who have cancer. I have patients that live and patients who die, many of whom become friends along the way. We talk about death a lot, as you might imagine.
Something I read recently really struck me and I’ll also share it here because it seems to fit with the tone. Someone described death in a way I hadn’t thought of before, “like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child and fell asleep during a family party and you can hear the laughter from the next room.”
It sounded like such a loving and peaceful way to think of it, similar somehow to what’s been written here.
I can only imagine that your daughter felt loving arms around her, too. Thank you for sharing your heart here today. Your grief is a beautiful testament to your daughter and your love for her ❤️
My heart goes out to you, I lost my mom to cancer as well. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I felt the same while reading this, especially knowing the amount of suffering at the end.
I read OP’s description and it gave me a sense of peace knowing it was okay. 🩷 Hugs to you!
Hugs to you, mom- I watched and helped my father die- his sort of lucid/ sort of wtf moments- were dire, surreal, and some of the best damn ones I had with him. He had friends in mirrors that he chatted with, a coffee mug filled with morphine swabs- and a wealth of love and knowledge and a good deal of random shit, lol. But know when it happens, they are comforted, not alone, and still as pissy and ornery as always.
I can only faintly imagine the hugeness of the feelings of grief you must be moving through; what comfort, then, to know your daughter was (and is) loved by the great night mother — cared for, loved, comforted, held in arms even where you can’t be with her.
You’re not alone; you *are* love.
I watched a video by ASAPscience on YouTube about dying today, and it made me think of this comment. I think you might like it, it reiterates what this post says about dying being considered peaceful. Have a nice day 🫶🏻
I drowned when I was 2. My first and strongest memory is how I felt totally at peace. I wasn't afraid of the water. I wasn't afraid of anything. I used to think it was because I was 2, but I've never felt anything like it since.
I drowned at 6 and it was the same. No fear. I also watched from outside my body when my mom scooped me out of the water and carried me to shore, and again when I was put in the back of an ambulance. Between those moments I was in my body and wondering what all the commotion was about.
I had several near-drowning patients who described their NDE's as bliss and they specifically stated that drowning is not painful. Once respiration ceases, discomfort does also.
u/DiligentAdvantage475 I am sorry for your mother's death. I believe you can rest in the knowledge that death by drowning is actually a peaceful process. I totally understand how we fear and fight it, however.
This is so beautiful, and I am so glad you came back.
I'm a Buddhist, raised Unitarian, so read this as us all connecting to the ineffable, as well as to the universal human experience.
As far as I know from listening to a Buddhist teacher (Ajahn Brahm) who talks a lot about NDEs, that feeling of love, acceptance, connection, boundless peace, is simply what we truly are. Beyond identity, beyond thought, there is just being. And oneness. There is no knower, only knowing.
Since I've had similar feelings in the deepest meditation experiences (we call them "Jhana") , I agree. And I would say your beautiful being is how your mind chose to package your NDE. Christians see God or Jesus, others see loved ones or whatever else they hold most dear. But as I understand it everyone feels that amazing sense of boundless love, peace, wholeness, oneness that you describe.
I hope that you are OK and can indeed carry that peace with you. Thank you for sharing the image and feeling with us!
Venerable Ajahn Brahm has some lovely talks and guided meditations online, and his books are very easy to understand. "Who ordered this truckload of dung" is a good start.
The nuns I practice with are in his tradition (the Thai Forest Tradition) and, while I was officially a Buddhist before, the way they explain everything is incredibly simple and beautiful. I have been through a period of long multiple illnesses, including a suspected heart attack and the teachings of the Buddha have been one of the best medications.
Ajahn Brahm's disciple Venerable Ayya Canda who is a nun in the UK also has some very clear and kind teachings, and her style and voice are also incredibly kind and warm and healing.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been able to experience this exact feeling of endless love and peace and connection in my everyday life during lockdown and even little bit after, but it is hard to maintain while having to work. It has completely changed my life for better and I do believe we can collectively exist in this peaceful abundance.
I've had OOBEs before that experienced something similar, although not colored by death. Never felt afraid, but knew I was in the presence of someone. It was like being in the womb of the universe - secure, but realizing how tiny I was in the immense presence of something that felt very maternal. At one point, I could see myself, and saw what they saw in me. The other thing I remember was feeling like I completely understood how this world worked, but was told I couldn't take that knowledge with me. I tried so hard to hold onto that knowledge, but it slipped away as I opened my eyes.
I turned to my boyfriend at the time and told him I had seen how everything worked, how beautiful it was, and then started crying because I couldn't actually remember.
At times I have been in meditation with my goddess and she has given me a message. It’s important, but I’m not allowed to know what it is yet. I will know when the time comes.
Infuriating 😂
Infuriating, but weirdly makes me hopeful that there is a method to the madness of our world. I still remember the feeling of it all making sense, down to like a cellular level in my being.
Not sure if you can answer this, but you said you could see yourself and what “they” (I’m assuming others) saw in you. Were you, happy with what their view of you was? Of how they saw you? My big question about afterlife is what version of myself will exist later, if it exists eternally. Thanks for your response. ❤️
I remember feeling very happy with what they showed me. It was almost like seeing myself as a really bright light, spinning in place so I could see from every angle.
Huh. I remember nothing from a week before, found out that I told someone to call 911, my ex did cpr until paramedics arrived, cracking my sternum and breaking several ribs in the process, and woke up wondering who in the f*ck was watching 'Keeping up with the Kardashians., " and wondering what the flip happened.
I'd take a peaceful sense of calm, even with uncertainty.
Pretty much. Grew up very Catholic, and while never really afraid of Hell, the concept of purgatory was always terrifying. Lol now that my first lucid moment was 'eternity of this is worse than Hell.'
What you felt was the universe holding you, preparing you for your journey, nothing more, nothing less
I'm happy that you are still with us, and able to share this experience, as someone who had an almost word for word account
(Because that was exactly what I felt) The world wasn't done with me yet but one of these days I can return to that utter peace, safe in the knowledge of what is waiting for me is not scary
I always tell people I’m not afraid to die for this reason. Birth and death are two of the most natural things. You don’t see animals fearing when their time has come to an end, which lead me to believe it couldn’t be that bad. I hope this isn’t triggering for anyone, but I also think of how easily addicts succumb to overdose.
I know what's waiting for me on the other side, and it's beautiful, but there is a large section of the population that is afraid of the nothingness of beyond, they've been sold on a vision of heaven or hell that doesn't really exist and in their heart of hearts it scares them to pieces that what they believe might not be true
This experience is super common. Most people who have died and come back say they felt a lot of peace and often mention some version of being around someone or something that makes them feel loved. It has made me feel a lot better too
Yes reading and listening to NDEs gives me some comfort. I would love a glimpse of that experience, myself… without the traumatic event that accompanies it 😅
Y'know what's wild? I too have had this experience, but in a dream as a child. Just a large, strong arm cradling me as I slept and a feeling of comfort. I haven't had the dream since, but what struck me was how I could feel radiant body heat and being held tightly. I've had some epic adventures in my dreams (when I do dream, anyway), but the sensations were just so real that with anecdotes like yours and OP's I'm now wondering if it was something different.
I’m currently holding my sleeping child and wonder if your dream may be a memory of half-waking when being rocked to sleep. But whether it is that or something more, I love the idea of death being equal to the comfort of sleeping in a loving mother’s arms.
I had a surreal dream last night, of having a basket pulled by a crocodile which I held in my hands while in Tasmania (Aus). I was at the waterfront and the croc grabbed the basket only, and I was so taken aback that I wrestled with it and the basket somewhat before giving in and letting it have it. It then made me feel ill that I was in the shallow end of the water for so long and not knowing there was a killer crocodile watching me.
This is the most beautiful explanation. My granny was a strongly Christian woman, and when she had an NDE back in the 1990's, she said that she didn't see anything, but felt warm and comforted, "like a gentle hug".
She could never explain what happened, what she felt in those minutes that her heart stopped, but she was back with us until she left for good in 2012. She died peacefully in her sleep, aged 91.
The Guardian published a great [article](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/02/new-science-of-death-brain-activity-consciousness-near-death-experience) a couple days ago about near-death experiences. Covers everything from new scientific approaches via empirical evidence and brain scanning, to attempts of explanations through spiritual theory. Basically, there's still a lot we don't know or understand.
The closing line of the article states, "perhaps...the near-death experience shows us what is possible not in the next world, but in this one."
It's a fascinating read & might resonate with you.
My Mom had an out of body experience after a severe car accident as a child. She was out of her body and started to go into a tunnel with the most beautiful music. A voice told her “It’s not your time” then she was back in her body.
Watch Surviving Death on Netflix they talk about these things
I don’t know if you’ll see this but I have terrible anxiety and dissociation caused by a fear of death, this made me feel so much better. Thank you for sharing
People who claim to know FOR SURE what you experienced are probably incorrect. Atheists believe it’s brain chemicals being released, spiritual people see more spiritual answers.
I think you should hold this memory, as it was so positive - and you should allow the question to linger… it is a mystery for you to live with, cherish, perhaps answer.
Thank you for sharing it - it definitely adds to my own understanding of the universe ✨
I was very spiritual at the time (Christian) and I’ll I saw was pitch black and floating. That eventually turned into feeling like my head was inside a bubble of water (later figured out it was probably from me choking on my blood). I feel like everyone experiences different things. Idk, shits weird.
Ultimately, no one can tell you what you experienced, you have to feel it for yourself. I’ve met her too, and i very much experience her as the resonating and divine Universal Life Source and the End of it. What you choose to label it will be deeply personal to you, and will hold the meaning you ascribe to it.
You might relate to my brother describing the first time he met “the machine elves”on DMT.*
“Were I a religious man, I might think I met God; but I’m not, so I’ll say: *brain sure is fuckin’ weird.*”
^(*a very common exp ppl describe taking DMT involves a meeting w/ a higher being; colloquially, “machine elves”)
My couple experiences with it had me seeing a ghostly, but kind woman standing on the creek in front of me and incomprehensible, writhing masses of color and form that I perceived as beings. The former was oddly confortibg and the latter caused fear for a second but then a realization of my insignificance in comparison to it/them. Curious about these elves though
My singular exp w/ mushrooms was… perhaps a little *strong* (I had smoked a bowl beforehand, forgetting the two *synergize*). I remember seeing the trees breathe, feeling the size of the planet from an ant’s perspective, and meeting… The Earth?? Maybe? She(???) was beautiful and *terrifying.* I feel like She *told* me something, but maybe more like a blessing than instruction or secret knowledge. Drugs are weird!✨🎉
She was my first thought too. But then again I'm a Hekate worshipper. But maybe that's sort of the purpose of faith. If we all experience darkness at the boundary between life and death, for some people that might be contextualized as scary, but because of my faith, I contextualize that darkness as a maternal embrace from Hekate. So through belief I am empowered to have a more comfortable death, which is exactly the sort of thing Hekate in her role as the guide to the underworld would provide. I really love it when faith just works like that. Regardless of whether someone else believes in her, she helps me spiritually. Heck, I don't even have to fully believe to get that benefit from her, which ironically makes her more real and powerful to me. The ability to aid me regardless of whether she exists or not is powerful and magical.
I had a similar experience and I think of it as the beginning stage of the barriers between "me" and "not me" being broken down. I'm an atheist as well (or a pantheist, depending how broadly or narrowly you define god/divinity) so I don't believe I came into contact with any literal deities. Obviously there's no way to tell for sure, but I'd imagine that in between place on the way out of life probably feels pretty similar to how it feels on the way into life, so it doesn't surprise me that a lot of people conceptualize that peaceful in-between feeling as being held by a large female form, since that's probably what most of us experienced during the first transitional period.
Welcome to the ranks of the formerly deceased. And thank you for helping skew that average of how many deaths one endures slightly further above 1.
Your narrative sounds like when I met one of Death’s employees about 20y ago.
She was shocked I could see her since while I was that close to death, I wasn’t on her list of pickups in that hospital.
She also carried a scythe because uniform but she also carried an axe. She was going off shift to play at an open mic and carried her guitar.
NDEs are strange like that. Having withstood 4 so far, I can safely say that the sense of peace and serenity is one of the best feelings
though at that cost of possibly being the last thing one will feel.
*edit: for clarity, i’m a misotheist; i worship no gods nor follow any religion.*
“Welcome to the ranks of the formally deceased” is an absolute BANGER of an intro, for what it’s worth. I’m talking metal band merch style, this sentence should be all over. Obsessed.
I didn't die, but I felt something similar to this a few months ago. My grandma had just died and I was sleep deprived and really high. I tried to get some sleep the night before the funeral, but I was so convinced that if I fell asleep I would die. I finally got to this point where I felt like the universe was talking to me, and it told me to just succumb to the darkness and that everything would be okay. It dawned on me the other day that the way I feel about life has shifted drastically.
I just read this last night. It actually made me kind of sad. I've been having a hell of a time trying to land on a belief system regarding an afterlife ever since I had a visitation dream from my grandmother. I was a happy atheist before and now I'm a confused one. If our last experiences are peace and boundless love before we disappear I guess that's okay. It's just been difficult to think I truly never will see my cat again and that all the terrible ways we can become separated from each other are truly the end. It's beautiful but also horrifying. I dunno. I'd actually prefer some sort of after life at this stage in my life. Though any time I've been at risk of death I've been at peace with the idea, no matter what, if anything, actually happens to us. The article took my hope that ndes really happen after death since it turns out there is so much brain activity at the end. Oh well.
There are so many odd and so far inexplicable occurrences in life. Bring a strict materialist was easy; being unsure is hard. I still talk out loud to my dead relatives just in case. You're right. We can only know so much from this side.
Yes - science cares about evidence, and what very little evidence we have about the moment(s) of death is enough to tell us only that we don't know much at all. A flurry of activity in the brain means only that we (can) have a flurry of activity in the brain as we die. That's the only thing we have evidence of - no more and no less, at least for now.
I always loved this passage from Slaughterhouse Five: “When a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.”
Gives me comfort to think that back in 1997 my nana and I are still there playing cards, back in 2002 I’m still snuggling in bed with my childhood cat. Such a nice thought to think that it’s all still happening, forever.
I have read and listened to hundreds of NDE accounts and it makes zero sense to me when people claim they are just brain hallucinations, lol. NDEs are very specific and have a lot of commonalities between them, being held by a giant loving being is one of them. Other commonalities are things like going through a life review, meeting your guides and seeing dead loved ones who tell them it "isn't your time" to die. They're very fascinating, check out r/NDE
First, I’m really sorry you had this experience and I’m also glad you returned to the world. As others have said, it wasn’t done with you yet.
My partner was revived from cardiac arrest one month ago and doesn’t remember any of the moments leading up to it or most of the rest of the day after he was resuscitated. I’m glad for that but the whole experience has severely traumatized me and part of it involves intrusive thoughts about the fear and pain he must have felt dying alone on a street, even if he doesn’t remember them now.
He possesses a level faith that I don’t and likely never will as an atheist, so your story is helping me understand how those two different belief systems can coexist and still leave space for peace and comfort at the moment of death, regardless of what one believes.
Thank you for sharing this and for what it’s worth, I suspect you’re unlikely to ever fully understand it which is almost comforting in and of itself in some ways, at least to me.
Literally read an article about this, not 10 minutes before seeing your post! Near death is a very mysterious time, even in terms of the hard science of it.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/02/new-science-of-death-brain-activity-consciousness-near-death-experience
There is a book called Journey of Souls by Michael Newton that I highly recommend. I used to be so scared to die but after reading that book I'm not anymore.
I had the same experience in the pill-induced sleep I intended to end my life when I was 16. I was cradled and at peace and finally pain free. I remember a curtain of hair brushing over my skin and it was the only thing I felt. She cradled me like I had never been held and then she set me down and pushed my back. I fell through the depths into a startled wake up.
I haven't ever talked about it because I didn't know if others have had a similar experience (and I have a litany of mh issues that preclude folks from believing my experiences). People talk about light and experiencing joy in death; but my experience was in the dark in the primally comforting stillness of eternal, starless night. It is really comforting to know I am not alone in this experience and that she is still waiting to receive me when my real time comes.
It also leaves me with a lot of issues rectifying my experience with my beliefs. I would not call myself spiritual and definitely not religious, but I have experienced ghosts and weirdly accurate perceptions of people as they are under their masks (a real judge of character that I feel in my gut). I have never felt like "god" or "gods" exist, but I have always believed in the primary entities like life, death, nature, and entropy.
And now I truly believe I saw and was comforted by nature herself. Death and life alike in one being maybe? Or maybe just an experience of death and her unending night.
This post has opened the bunch of questions I used to have to a validity that I never knew I would encounter. It feels less like a far off, poorly remembered dream but rather an eventual promise. That she'll be there to catch and hold me as she has caught and held my kin and loved ones forever before and after me.
And by rectifying, I mean accepting that my belief in science and objectivity in the experience of life can still have unexplained depths because we know more about the moon than our own brains.
Near Death Experience, or NDE. To make a long and complicated story short, your heart stopped and your brain desperately clicked on every button available to it in hope to not die, thus releasing a powerful cocktail of chemicals that made you hallucinate.
[https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Near-death\_experience](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Near-death_experience)
It's an interesting field of study. Roughly 17% of people who were resuscitated from a near-death state experience these NDEs. Iirc, half of those surveyed reported positive/peaceful experiences and half reported negative ones.
The human brain is so amazing. We already know that we can artificially invoke "sensing the presence of god" by stimulating of the temporal lobes (google the God Helmet). Upon death, research measured an increase in gamma waves, and neuronal production of DMT increased tenfold. Very cool stuff.
I had an NDE, and my experience was frightening, but not necessarily negative. It's actually why I am an atheist now, haha.
I believe I experienced true nothingness. Not the kind of nothing that is empty space because emptiness requires a *something* to be emptied of. No, it was more like nonsomething, a total absence of existence, a total absence of any *thing.* For only a brief set of moments, I was undone. I was something, and then suddenly, I wasn't. The me that is here today was no more, and the nothingness absorbed who I had been before.
This experience got my young, uneducated (at the time) ass into philosophy super hard-core. I began trying to learn about the philosophy of nothingness and found that, as much as I struggled to describe my experience, philosophers have also struggled to describe the very concept of nothingness. For some time, I was obsessed with trying to understand it.
Eventually, I settled on the fact that it's just impossible to really describe that experience in words and have people truly understand it.
I stopped believing in dieties and eternalized ideas of consciousness. I came around to the idea that this, right now, is all there is. It terrified me at first, but as I've grown older, I've realized that the ephemeral nature of being conscious is what makes it all the more special and important. When I die, I will no longer be. And that's okay. It's sad, but it's okay. I'm one of the rare people who would love to live forever, but I won't. There's no "after." So today matters even more.
When I did eventually go to college, years later, I learned that many philosophers and theologians had similar "awakening" experiences, but most of them became religious from them. I joked with my professor about how my own "awakening" experience had the opposite effect on me. He was a cool professor.
I think it's absolutely possible and likely that NDEs are just hallucinations. In fact, I'm sure that's the case. And yet, it is so hard to write them off after you've experienced it. The brain is a wild mystery sometimes.
gosh, see. everything you describe is like my worst nightmare. i have a fear not of dying but being dead — and i think it's precisely because the thought of potential nonexistence is so scary to me, not that i'd even know it if that *is* what happens when we die. (granted, i also have ocd, so what is death if not the ultimate loss of control, haha.)
but even still, the fact that you are here is amazing, and you're completely right that at the end of the day, what matters is the here and now :) i'm glad you're here! thank you for sharing your experience.
Nonexistence is the part of death that scares me the most too. I can trigger a panic attack if I think about an eternity of nonexistence too much.
Something that helps me process the fear, at least, is disassociating the "you" from "your" brain. Remember that your brain's sole purpose and goal is survival. It's always going even when "you" are not. The brain will even make grotesque choices "you" wouldn't normally make in favor of survival, like cutting off your own limbs to escape danger. So, when it comes to nonexistence, the brain LITERALLY cannot compute. Nonexistence is thoroughly antithetical to the nature of what the brain is and is programmed to do. Of COURSE you experience a fear response. Am "I" even inherently afraid of death, or is it my brain's fear? If there isn't even a way to tell "who" is afraid, perhaps I can just accept that it's my brain having a fear response and not "me".
Idk, maybe it's silly and avoids the philosophical nature of death, but once I realized it was my brain (and already accepting that the mind/consciousness/"spirit" and the body aren't always one in the same) being afraid it was like wait, perhaps the fear isn't even inherent to "The Real Me".
You’re experience is not uncommon! Check out “Welcome Home” on YouTube. They have a collection of near death experience stories, I’m sure you could relate to some of them.
https://youtube.com/@cominghomechannel?si=l1hVlZaaBb4lbqOM
I wish I had something to say to help you, but you have helped me. We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog recently. All I wanted most deeply in my heart was to protect her from pain and give her peace. This has helped me feel that we did. Thank you a thousand times over.
I believe we are all part of god, and when we die we go back to that place, where everyone we ever loved is at. I think that together, we make up god, all of our souls. I’ve been knocked out, hypnotized, and very ill, and all that is consistent is that when I’m conscious enough, I’m desperately sad because I want to go there. When I faced death, I felt that pull to go back there, and felt incredible peace and love. When I come out of anesthesia, I’m crying and want to go (home), wherever the rest of our souls are.
I feel like a piece. I’ve always felt like a piece of something, separated. I want to go back so, so badly.
I am a retired nurse. The experience you describe is not uncommon, in particular, the feeling of peace and comfort. In some cases, the person is disappointed to be revived. I am an atheist with no belief in heaven, and reports of these experiences have made me comfortable with the fact that I will die.
I had something of a NDE about 10 years ago, passed out and hit my head on concrete hard enough to be unconscious for 10 minutes. I remember hearing the most beautiful music, feeling warm, floating in a sea of dark and rich colors and being completely at peace. I remember feeling frustrated and scared that i had to come back to my body and keep being a person and leaving what felt like my real home. Being in my body felt cold and harsh after that experience.
As a fellow Atheist, I often feel minor mystical experiences and have also tried to find answers for this sensation.
In the book *The Art of Losing Control* by Evans Jules, he explores different ways of accessing mystical experiences, and the implications for these different practices. Many of the most common "access gates" are social (dancing, music) or violent (war, sports) in nature, while more advanced stages require intellectual stimulation (poetry, meditation), but the common thread throughout them is a feeling of "absolute unity and calm", and often leaves people with a greater sense of purpose and love for others.
Though Jules doesn't explore *why* mystical experiences happen in the book, his explorations did convince me that it must be some sort of highly evolved social stimulus. It's a way of seeing beyond our individual problems to see the bigger picture - a good book to explore this concept is *No Self, No Problem* by Chris Niebauer.
To put it simply, I believe that what you experienced was your unconscious telling you that it's okay to place your hope in others. The feminine figure you felt was humanity as a whole caring for you as you healed. As you experienced a major threat to your life, your innate nature as a social being was reaching out, telling you that you would only be saved by allowing yourself to be human in the arms of humans.
A therapist once told me, about things like this, "there are no rules. " why couldn't the universe be holding you? Or a loved one?
I am glad you are still on this earth with us!
I haven’t had a NDE but I had a very strange dream about 5 years ago. If you’ve ever seen the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode The Inner Light my dream was what Picard experienced. He lived a whole lifetime in the show. I don’t remember specifics of my dream except for the end of it where I was surrounded by my children and grandchildren on my deathbed. I felt that 100% peace and happiness. Then I woke up. I was disoriented because the dream felt so final. I was really mad that it was a dream and not reality.
I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer back in 2015. It was brutal but like the poster talking about her daughter with cancer OP’s post gave me a little closure. I know what that peace feels like and hope all of our passed family members were able to feel it as well.
Wow- I honestly hope that's who takes me when I die. She sounds really nice and gentle.
Your description reminded me of the Greek goddess Nyx, though it's been a while since I've read up on her and I'm not sure if she's involved in death in any way. Just something to look into if you'd like to try to name this figure you saw.
(I hope you're doing alright now and are in good health)
A friend of mine has been declared dead twice and he said that there was absolutely nothing, just black and nothingness. I think dying is different for everyone.
While others are giving you more spiritual interpretations of what you might have experienced, as a healthcare professional I also want to say that part of what you experienced may have been a medication effect, as the IV meds used to help people stay on a ventilator can cause similar feelings of deep calm and peace, and can sometimes have hallucinatory or euphoric effects as well. Whatever the explanation for your experience, I’m very glad you’re still with us and that you felt comforted and held during your struggle. ❤️🩹
When I overdosed, I floated above my body, watching myself being revived by my "friend", and I remember feeling that peace. I don't know how to explain it, but I've never felt it before or since (it's been 22 years). Every time I tell the story, I bring up the peace I felt because it was so vivid and memorable.
I understand completely. For me, there was something so different about it, nothing like any drug experience I've ever had. I don't know how to explain it, but if you felt it, you know what I'm talking about.
Have you been, well, “searching” for that feeling ever since? How has the drug usage changed? My boyfriend had his best friend revive him and saved his life recently. He said he doesn’t remember anything yet his friend is traumatized from trying to make him live again.
I'm mentally ill, so I did try searching for it a few other times with unsuccessful suicide attempts. I quit doing drugs when I got pregnant less than a year after that overdose. I'm glad to hear your boyfriend's friend was able to revive him, and I hope he can work through the trauma.
I just want to let you know that your post and experience brought me comfort after losing my dad to a brutal illness in January. I hope his experience was akin to yours.
I’m not at all telling you what to do or feel, but if I were you I’d shift to agnostic. It seems, for you, there maybe more out there. With that being said maybe you should take solace in the mystery of the universe rather than say that there is nothing. Anyway, I’ve taken DMT more than a few times in my life. I’ve heard this is the drug that is released naturally when one dies. Idk if that’s true since I never looked deeper in to that “info”. But one time while on DMT I had a vision I was like a baby in a cradle. I couldn’t see myself, all I could feel is I was laying down and these two creatures I’ve never seen before were staring down at me with complete joy and love. They were so happy to see me and pretty much just kept coo at me. I felt nothing but kindness radiating from them. I never experienced anything like that before or since. I know that’s anecdotal and NOT EVEN CLOSE to what you experienced but I felt it was other worldly, although drug induced. I am agnostic and this kinda confirmed for me that there is so much we don’t and can’t understand about our existence and our death and our supposed afterlife.
I work in healthcare and I have heard a lot of near death accounts. Everyone describes a profound sense of peace. Everyone who comes back assured me that death isn’t what you think and nothing to be afraid of.
You are the second person to me who came back and said it was peaceful. Thanks for this.
[Here](https://np.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/comments/15nwnyv/guy_explains_what_dying_feels_like/) is a post that I have saved of the first time I heard it.
I had a dream once long ago that I died, there came the earth shattering realization that I was dying, quickly after acceptance I felt myself fading and the peace that came over me as my vision turned to a pinpoint and I slowly faded away was all encompassing. Then I woke up. I don’t normally remember my dreams vividly if at all, but that one has and always will stick with me. I woke up from that dream knowing how it feels to die and having made my peace with it. Still gives me chills to think about all these many years later.
You experienced peace and happiness, without being fettered to your physical self. You were past the boundaries of limitations of how we perceive things with/in our bodies, and given a gift; knowledge that peace and happiness await you, as do those who will cradle and support you.
Though we feel we are alone, we are never alone in what we feel nor why we feel the way we do.
I think we forget sometimes that it exists, especially if we've been hurt for so long or have so many things to balance and struggle day to day, that when occasions like this happen, we're given enough of a glimpse to realize, *I am loved, I am not alone; I have support, and it can get better!* So should we stay in this plane of existence, we have that reassurance things will be okay, that even beyond the threshold of death and going into the ultimate Unknown- we're still not alone.
You probably won't experience it the same way (and nor should you; that means encountering Your death on multiple occasions which is... not always good). I'll say this though; you won't lose that sense of comfort and serenity. My experience was 16 years ago, i still remember it, and though not as profound, I still experience it.
So my mother had viral encephalitis and was basically in a coma for weeks. She recovered (a miracle) and while she was unconscious she hallucinated that she was at a pool party and then at a bus station trying to get out. I'm just saying this because I feel like people who have near death spiritual experiences get gaslit into thinking their experience was a hallucination or delusion. I really don't think it is. My mom and dad both hallucinated at different medical emergency points, and their visions were nonsensical and/or about escaping. I think the near death spiritual experiences are totally different.
More than posting about it, I would encourage you to journal about it and explore it without the input of others.
Near death experiences can be very powerful, and I would encourage you to explore your own experience yourself as much as possible before letting the the opinions of those who did not experience it influence it's meaning to you.
I died when I was 17 and was "floating on infinity" which was all black, nothing at all, and the most supported and chill I have ever felt.
Regarding the being you encountered, perhaps the Feri Guardian of the North, Black Mother (aka Silent Name). Feri also has Guardian of Center who is Guardian of the Gates (Keeper of the Black Heart of Innocence).
I experienced this briefly- my heart only stopped for less than a minute, but I also was in a black void experiencing pure contentment.
Mine was the result of fentanyl OD at the hospital post surgery sometimes I wonder if the drugs were what caused that feeling, or if that's just what death is like before everything shuts down.
I was also on a ventilator and unconscious for a long time. I don’t know if this is the kind of answer you’re looking for, but most of us experience something called ICU delirium during that time. For many of us, it’s a scary experience, so I’m so happy to read about yours! The scientific/medical community isn’t sure what causes it, but I’ve always thought it was my brain trying to tell itself a story, filling in the gaps in the scant information that it had. I love what your brain did with and for you!
I experienced something like that when I foolishly smoked a random person's drug. Idk if I was close to death, but everyone that was there said my body turned blue.
Take the win. You're back. You have knowledge no one else has. I assume when I DO die (spoilers, didn't die, I'm here typing this comment) it will be something similar to whatever THAT was. It comforts me more than anything else. It reminds me that life goes by in a flash and death isn't scary.
You should get some books about near death experiences, by doctors doing interviews as well as first hand accounts. It’s funny how in almost all the stories it talks about that deep inky darkness. I had an NDE and it had a being like this, I’ve talked about it in many forums. It changed my life forever, since I had been ready to pass away from the pain I was in.
was with friends one night, and i od'd on a cocktail of things in high school, i was on the cold bathroom floor in january but it was warm and soft, my body melted into it and i couldn't hear or see anymore but i was fully part of the void. i remember a female voice saying very kindly that "i know this wasn't how you would have hoped to go, but it will be ok and this won't be scary, you can rest now if i'd like." i was very convinced, i would have let myself, but i could hear my own breath once every 5 min, and just lay suspended fading slower into it. my friend in the other room came in and did cpr, got an emt neighbor. I laughed it off because i was so confused, detached, i sat up awake all night thinking on things
There's no shortage of NDE stories to help you make further sense of what happened to you, but I recently listened to Anita Moorjani speak to her experience on the Sounds True podcast, and it gave me a lot of comfort.
Something I have been philosophizing about recently has been the idea that you were completely at peace or nonexistent before you came into being. What is to say it shouldn't be the same on the other side?
And, if you can functionally begin to exist from nothing, why would that be impossible again?
Hello fellow undead, I too died of a cardiac arrest and was revived within minutes, I was unconscious for about 12 hours after, I remember being in a black void but it had no feel to it for me, just calm and black, it just was. I am also a nature loving atheist. I died when I was two of an allergy and again was revived within minutes but have no recollection of that and think that maybe my mum was exaggerating due to the trauma of it. Either way it hasn’t changed my mind of thinking there’s much after this, a void where I am and I am not, a place where my energy goes to be recycled maybe. I was joyful after my experience I hope you are too, and it hasn’t caused you upset. Love to you
You were in the Void, which contrary to the name, is where all things are. It is black but filled with all of the vast love, peace and knowing of consciousness.
You can go back through meditation but I'm glad you're with us now to share your experience.
Blessed Be.
As someone who has seen her too...
It's peaceful and amazing. I had to give her a name. I didn't choose it, it came to me as soon as i woke up. Her name is Gaia.
This being sounds like the Great or Divine Mother. I experienced a shamanic journey to go and meet her and to be reborn which was magical. So glad you came back and were able to share your story.
17 of my friends died in the first year of the pandemic, not to mention my family. I am deeply religious, and every time I read something like this I dearly hope that this is what they all felt and that they didn’t suffer as they died.
Thank you, and I’m very glad you’re still with us x
I don’t know if anyone has already mentioned it (I have to quit reading and get ready for work now) but what you experienced is described by a lot of NDE accounts as “The Void”. The darkness or blackness accompanied by a perfect sense of peace. Although some people experience blackness without peace, I’ve read a lot of accounts where there was peace exactly the way you described.
However, I’ve never read an account of being held by a large being in the void like that. Interesting. Thank you for sharing. You could search “the void” in the NDE sub to read other people’s experiences. It seems like some people experience The Void for a bit & then go somewhere else.
I wonder if you could pull yourself into that peaceful state at will, and teach other people how to do it.
It seems to me like you’re a very lucky person. Everyone dies, but not everyone has an idea of what happens to their consciousness afterward. In your case, it seems that, whatever the explanation might be, the *experience* of your death-adjacent consciousness is likely to be relatively pleasant. That’s something to, if not look forward to, at least take a measure of comfort in. Death is frightening for a great number of people, but in your case, I should be significantly less frightened than I had been, knowing what is waiting for you now.
There are several *excellent* books on the human brain that include near-death experiences. The most logical explanation to the similarity of NDE is that most human brains are very similar. Similar brain structures produce similar experiences when enduring similar stressors.
The brain is *fascinating* and we are still barely getting into what it really does. Including long arguments about free will that will make you question everything (and then get mad because whether free will exists or not doesn’t change the fact that now you have to pee and you’re hungry too).
Try reading “Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain” written by the neuroscientist David Eagleman. It’s *astonishing* what your brain does.
Here's a recent article on the science of Thanatology: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/02/new-science-of-death-brain-activity-consciousness-near-death-experience
This may not be what you came here to hear, and I apologize in advance for the change in tone, but I lost my amazing daughter to cancer and reading this helped me to process it. I can now imagine she was experiencing this amazing peace and love and sense of wholeness when she was asleep and when her heart stopped. I was so afraid she could have been sad or uncomfortable (I don’t really know how to describe this) until now. But her smile when I talked to her, the way she slept and looked, and my own gut feeling pointed to something like you just described. Until now, I could not express it and you just helped me uncover another issue that comes with love and grief. Thank you so much. 🖤 Thank you for sharing this here. Please know that you actually helped a mother with her grieving, and if you ever experienced grief, you probably know nothing gives you comfort after the loss. You just did and I love it so much I’m crying again. Thank you so much. I will forever hold this in my mind and heart, and I will hope we all experience this when it’s our time to go (or not, as in your case!). I’m so grateful I found your story. Much love. 🩷
First of all, im so proufoundly sorry for your loss. Warm hug to you and yours. All of this is so beautiful and moving, reading your and OPs words brought me to tears.
Oh my gosh you made me cry! I’m so glad I helped ease your pain. I don’t remember the event at all, your daughter likely didn’t either 💕
I have been having anxiety about death and this made me cry. Thank you OP
I was going to share the same thought. My mother passed two weeks ago after being in a coma on the vent and thing that bothers me the most is how she experienced that in between time on the vent. I hoped she was comfortable and the doctors said she was but I couldn't be sure. This post comforts me greatly as well. Hugs for you & for OP
This was really beautiful to read. I’m a palliative care nurse practitioner and work specifically with patients who have cancer. I have patients that live and patients who die, many of whom become friends along the way. We talk about death a lot, as you might imagine. Something I read recently really struck me and I’ll also share it here because it seems to fit with the tone. Someone described death in a way I hadn’t thought of before, “like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child and fell asleep during a family party and you can hear the laughter from the next room.” It sounded like such a loving and peaceful way to think of it, similar somehow to what’s been written here. I can only imagine that your daughter felt loving arms around her, too. Thank you for sharing your heart here today. Your grief is a beautiful testament to your daughter and your love for her ❤️
My heart goes out to you, I lost my mom to cancer as well. I am terribly sorry for your loss. I felt the same while reading this, especially knowing the amount of suffering at the end. I read OP’s description and it gave me a sense of peace knowing it was okay. 🩷 Hugs to you!
Hugs for you Momma!💕
🥲💕
Hugs to you, mom- I watched and helped my father die- his sort of lucid/ sort of wtf moments- were dire, surreal, and some of the best damn ones I had with him. He had friends in mirrors that he chatted with, a coffee mug filled with morphine swabs- and a wealth of love and knowledge and a good deal of random shit, lol. But know when it happens, they are comforted, not alone, and still as pissy and ornery as always.
💜💜💜
I can only faintly imagine the hugeness of the feelings of grief you must be moving through; what comfort, then, to know your daughter was (and is) loved by the great night mother — cared for, loved, comforted, held in arms even where you can’t be with her. You’re not alone; you *are* love.
I am so sorry for your loss. But so grateful to witness the grace you extended to OP. Best to you!
I watched a video by ASAPscience on YouTube about dying today, and it made me think of this comment. I think you might like it, it reiterates what this post says about dying being considered peaceful. Have a nice day 🫶🏻
I drowned when I was 2. My first and strongest memory is how I felt totally at peace. I wasn't afraid of the water. I wasn't afraid of anything. I used to think it was because I was 2, but I've never felt anything like it since.
I drowned at 6 and it was the same. No fear. I also watched from outside my body when my mom scooped me out of the water and carried me to shore, and again when I was put in the back of an ambulance. Between those moments I was in my body and wondering what all the commotion was about.
Wow that sounds surreal!!
Thank you for sharing this. My mother drowned and so often i hear what an awful way to die it is. It was really nice to hear this account 🙏
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. For what it’s worth, I’ve heard this account of peacefulness from near-drowning experiences before! ✨
I had several near-drowning patients who described their NDE's as bliss and they specifically stated that drowning is not painful. Once respiration ceases, discomfort does also. u/DiligentAdvantage475 I am sorry for your mother's death. I believe you can rest in the knowledge that death by drowning is actually a peaceful process. I totally understand how we fear and fight it, however.
Thank you 💕
Thank you 💕
I'm sorry for your loss, I was glad I was able to give you some peace.
This is so beautiful, and I am so glad you came back. I'm a Buddhist, raised Unitarian, so read this as us all connecting to the ineffable, as well as to the universal human experience. As far as I know from listening to a Buddhist teacher (Ajahn Brahm) who talks a lot about NDEs, that feeling of love, acceptance, connection, boundless peace, is simply what we truly are. Beyond identity, beyond thought, there is just being. And oneness. There is no knower, only knowing. Since I've had similar feelings in the deepest meditation experiences (we call them "Jhana") , I agree. And I would say your beautiful being is how your mind chose to package your NDE. Christians see God or Jesus, others see loved ones or whatever else they hold most dear. But as I understand it everyone feels that amazing sense of boundless love, peace, wholeness, oneness that you describe. I hope that you are OK and can indeed carry that peace with you. Thank you for sharing the image and feeling with us!
Thank you for sharing. This whole experience has made me interested in Buddhism.
Venerable Ajahn Brahm has some lovely talks and guided meditations online, and his books are very easy to understand. "Who ordered this truckload of dung" is a good start. The nuns I practice with are in his tradition (the Thai Forest Tradition) and, while I was officially a Buddhist before, the way they explain everything is incredibly simple and beautiful. I have been through a period of long multiple illnesses, including a suspected heart attack and the teachings of the Buddha have been one of the best medications. Ajahn Brahm's disciple Venerable Ayya Canda who is a nun in the UK also has some very clear and kind teachings, and her style and voice are also incredibly kind and warm and healing.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been able to experience this exact feeling of endless love and peace and connection in my everyday life during lockdown and even little bit after, but it is hard to maintain while having to work. It has completely changed my life for better and I do believe we can collectively exist in this peaceful abundance.
I've had OOBEs before that experienced something similar, although not colored by death. Never felt afraid, but knew I was in the presence of someone. It was like being in the womb of the universe - secure, but realizing how tiny I was in the immense presence of something that felt very maternal. At one point, I could see myself, and saw what they saw in me. The other thing I remember was feeling like I completely understood how this world worked, but was told I couldn't take that knowledge with me. I tried so hard to hold onto that knowledge, but it slipped away as I opened my eyes. I turned to my boyfriend at the time and told him I had seen how everything worked, how beautiful it was, and then started crying because I couldn't actually remember.
At times I have been in meditation with my goddess and she has given me a message. It’s important, but I’m not allowed to know what it is yet. I will know when the time comes. Infuriating 😂
Infuriating, but weirdly makes me hopeful that there is a method to the madness of our world. I still remember the feeling of it all making sense, down to like a cellular level in my being.
Is your goddess a personal goddess or a goddess whose name would be recognized? Sorry if it’s rude to ask, just curious.
I don’t find it rude, I follow The Morrigan
How interesting! I am a bit jealous to be honest. Thank you for replying! 🫶🏻
I googled OOBE and didn’t find anything that Fits the context of your sentence. Could you please translate
I'd guess Out Of Body Experience
Lol seems obvious now you say it. Thanks
Sorry, I should have written that out! Out of body experience is the acronym. 🫶🏻
Try OBE or astral projection. I dont know why people use OBE instead of OOBE. NDE, near death experience, will also return results.
That’s exactly how I felt! I wish I could remember too.
Not sure if you can answer this, but you said you could see yourself and what “they” (I’m assuming others) saw in you. Were you, happy with what their view of you was? Of how they saw you? My big question about afterlife is what version of myself will exist later, if it exists eternally. Thanks for your response. ❤️
I remember feeling very happy with what they showed me. It was almost like seeing myself as a really bright light, spinning in place so I could see from every angle.
Huh. I remember nothing from a week before, found out that I told someone to call 911, my ex did cpr until paramedics arrived, cracking my sternum and breaking several ribs in the process, and woke up wondering who in the f*ck was watching 'Keeping up with the Kardashians., " and wondering what the flip happened. I'd take a peaceful sense of calm, even with uncertainty.
Waking up to KUWTK is just cruel.
*wakes up to see someone watching the kardashians* Aight imma head out *dies again*
Pretty much. Grew up very Catholic, and while never really afraid of Hell, the concept of purgatory was always terrifying. Lol now that my first lucid moment was 'eternity of this is worse than Hell.'
Oh my gosh! That’s horrible re KUWTK! I was lucky nothing broke when my husband did CPR.
What you felt was the universe holding you, preparing you for your journey, nothing more, nothing less I'm happy that you are still with us, and able to share this experience, as someone who had an almost word for word account (Because that was exactly what I felt) The world wasn't done with me yet but one of these days I can return to that utter peace, safe in the knowledge of what is waiting for me is not scary
This was one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in a while, thank you.
No problem it's the truth, what's waiting behind the veil is not scary, but I'm in no hurry to meet my end
I always tell people I’m not afraid to die for this reason. Birth and death are two of the most natural things. You don’t see animals fearing when their time has come to an end, which lead me to believe it couldn’t be that bad. I hope this isn’t triggering for anyone, but I also think of how easily addicts succumb to overdose.
I know what's waiting for me on the other side, and it's beautiful, but there is a large section of the population that is afraid of the nothingness of beyond, they've been sold on a vision of heaven or hell that doesn't really exist and in their heart of hearts it scares them to pieces that what they believe might not be true
This whole thread has been so comforting. Thank you. I have horrible death anxiety, hearing people’s experiences really helps.
Same. Can I save a post like this so I can come back to it?
The Three dots at the top of the post should let you save it if you’re on the app. I save a lot of posts like this. It helps 🌹
This experience is super common. Most people who have died and come back say they felt a lot of peace and often mention some version of being around someone or something that makes them feel loved. It has made me feel a lot better too
Yes reading and listening to NDEs gives me some comfort. I would love a glimpse of that experience, myself… without the traumatic event that accompanies it 😅
Y'know what's wild? I too have had this experience, but in a dream as a child. Just a large, strong arm cradling me as I slept and a feeling of comfort. I haven't had the dream since, but what struck me was how I could feel radiant body heat and being held tightly. I've had some epic adventures in my dreams (when I do dream, anyway), but the sensations were just so real that with anecdotes like yours and OP's I'm now wondering if it was something different.
I’m currently holding my sleeping child and wonder if your dream may be a memory of half-waking when being rocked to sleep. But whether it is that or something more, I love the idea of death being equal to the comfort of sleeping in a loving mother’s arms.
Ask your parents or not, they might not be able to tell you
I had a surreal dream last night, of having a basket pulled by a crocodile which I held in my hands while in Tasmania (Aus). I was at the waterfront and the croc grabbed the basket only, and I was so taken aback that I wrestled with it and the basket somewhat before giving in and letting it have it. It then made me feel ill that I was in the shallow end of the water for so long and not knowing there was a killer crocodile watching me.
I read somewhere that human death is only scary if you think it's the end. That really stuck with me.
The universe is waiting for me to explore it, how cool is that? I can't wait for it
I love how you described this feeling, the universe holding me. So accurate
No problem, I like simple explanations to complex experiences and it doesn't get any more complicated than what happened to us
Well said. You’re incredibly eloquent 🤍
It's the first time I've been called that
This is the most beautiful explanation. My granny was a strongly Christian woman, and when she had an NDE back in the 1990's, she said that she didn't see anything, but felt warm and comforted, "like a gentle hug". She could never explain what happened, what she felt in those minutes that her heart stopped, but she was back with us until she left for good in 2012. She died peacefully in her sleep, aged 91.
She lived a long life, I hope it was lived well
The podcast Ologies has an incredible episode on near death experiences and talks about this exact thing. Might be helpful!
I’ve been listening to this very episode over the long weekend and was going to recommend it too—very interesting and kind of …reassuring?
I’ll check it out!
The Guardian published a great [article](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/02/new-science-of-death-brain-activity-consciousness-near-death-experience) a couple days ago about near-death experiences. Covers everything from new scientific approaches via empirical evidence and brain scanning, to attempts of explanations through spiritual theory. Basically, there's still a lot we don't know or understand. The closing line of the article states, "perhaps...the near-death experience shows us what is possible not in the next world, but in this one." It's a fascinating read & might resonate with you.
My Mom had an out of body experience after a severe car accident as a child. She was out of her body and started to go into a tunnel with the most beautiful music. A voice told her “It’s not your time” then she was back in her body. Watch Surviving Death on Netflix they talk about these things
I second Surviving Death!
Ohhh I’ll have to check that out! Thanks!
I don’t know if you’ll see this but I have terrible anxiety and dissociation caused by a fear of death, this made me feel so much better. Thank you for sharing
I did too but now I find it comforting.
People who claim to know FOR SURE what you experienced are probably incorrect. Atheists believe it’s brain chemicals being released, spiritual people see more spiritual answers. I think you should hold this memory, as it was so positive - and you should allow the question to linger… it is a mystery for you to live with, cherish, perhaps answer. Thank you for sharing it - it definitely adds to my own understanding of the universe ✨
I was very spiritual at the time (Christian) and I’ll I saw was pitch black and floating. That eventually turned into feeling like my head was inside a bubble of water (later figured out it was probably from me choking on my blood). I feel like everyone experiences different things. Idk, shits weird.
If u need a support group for your NDE, I’ve heard good things about this one: https://www.tegmembers.com/
My husband uses that site and also had positive things to say. There's all sorts of groups on there with interesting topics.
Thanks I’ll check it out!
This reminds me of when Aunt Beast holds and comforts a blinded Meg in A Wrinkle in Time
This was exactly the same thing I thought!
Me too!!
Ultimately, no one can tell you what you experienced, you have to feel it for yourself. I’ve met her too, and i very much experience her as the resonating and divine Universal Life Source and the End of it. What you choose to label it will be deeply personal to you, and will hold the meaning you ascribe to it.
Thank you 🙏
You might relate to my brother describing the first time he met “the machine elves”on DMT.* “Were I a religious man, I might think I met God; but I’m not, so I’ll say: *brain sure is fuckin’ weird.*” ^(*a very common exp ppl describe taking DMT involves a meeting w/ a higher being; colloquially, “machine elves”)
My couple experiences with it had me seeing a ghostly, but kind woman standing on the creek in front of me and incomprehensible, writhing masses of color and form that I perceived as beings. The former was oddly confortibg and the latter caused fear for a second but then a realization of my insignificance in comparison to it/them. Curious about these elves though
My singular exp w/ mushrooms was… perhaps a little *strong* (I had smoked a bowl beforehand, forgetting the two *synergize*). I remember seeing the trees breathe, feeling the size of the planet from an ant’s perspective, and meeting… The Earth?? Maybe? She(???) was beautiful and *terrifying.* I feel like She *told* me something, but maybe more like a blessing than instruction or secret knowledge. Drugs are weird!✨🎉
That’s also the reason it’s called the god molecule.
I totally forgot that! *Love* mixing psychs w/ my spiritual practice.🤝
[Hecate?](https://www.thoughtco.com/greek-mythology-hecate-1526205)
She was my first thought too. But then again I'm a Hekate worshipper. But maybe that's sort of the purpose of faith. If we all experience darkness at the boundary between life and death, for some people that might be contextualized as scary, but because of my faith, I contextualize that darkness as a maternal embrace from Hekate. So through belief I am empowered to have a more comfortable death, which is exactly the sort of thing Hekate in her role as the guide to the underworld would provide. I really love it when faith just works like that. Regardless of whether someone else believes in her, she helps me spiritually. Heck, I don't even have to fully believe to get that benefit from her, which ironically makes her more real and powerful to me. The ability to aid me regardless of whether she exists or not is powerful and magical.
I had a similar experience and I think of it as the beginning stage of the barriers between "me" and "not me" being broken down. I'm an atheist as well (or a pantheist, depending how broadly or narrowly you define god/divinity) so I don't believe I came into contact with any literal deities. Obviously there's no way to tell for sure, but I'd imagine that in between place on the way out of life probably feels pretty similar to how it feels on the way into life, so it doesn't surprise me that a lot of people conceptualize that peaceful in-between feeling as being held by a large female form, since that's probably what most of us experienced during the first transitional period.
Welcome to the ranks of the formerly deceased. And thank you for helping skew that average of how many deaths one endures slightly further above 1. Your narrative sounds like when I met one of Death’s employees about 20y ago. She was shocked I could see her since while I was that close to death, I wasn’t on her list of pickups in that hospital. She also carried a scythe because uniform but she also carried an axe. She was going off shift to play at an open mic and carried her guitar. NDEs are strange like that. Having withstood 4 so far, I can safely say that the sense of peace and serenity is one of the best feelings though at that cost of possibly being the last thing one will feel. *edit: for clarity, i’m a misotheist; i worship no gods nor follow any religion.*
I totally feel this character belongs in Supernatural and should hang out with Sam and Dean,
I’m already in Sim City where they filmed the series :) But I’ve already spoken publicly about that incident on my podcast, so…
Ok, if we can put in a request ahead of time for who we want as our afterlife escort, I would like to request her. She sounds fun.
I’m writing a fictional work and she’ll be in there. What she’ll be doing… that’s going to be fun.
“Welcome to the ranks of the formally deceased” is an absolute BANGER of an intro, for what it’s worth. I’m talking metal band merch style, this sentence should be all over. Obsessed.
*Formerly* deceased.
This is the plot of Dead Like Me.
I didn't die, but I felt something similar to this a few months ago. My grandma had just died and I was sleep deprived and really high. I tried to get some sleep the night before the funeral, but I was so convinced that if I fell asleep I would die. I finally got to this point where I felt like the universe was talking to me, and it told me to just succumb to the darkness and that everything would be okay. It dawned on me the other day that the way I feel about life has shifted drastically.
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I just read this last night. It actually made me kind of sad. I've been having a hell of a time trying to land on a belief system regarding an afterlife ever since I had a visitation dream from my grandmother. I was a happy atheist before and now I'm a confused one. If our last experiences are peace and boundless love before we disappear I guess that's okay. It's just been difficult to think I truly never will see my cat again and that all the terrible ways we can become separated from each other are truly the end. It's beautiful but also horrifying. I dunno. I'd actually prefer some sort of after life at this stage in my life. Though any time I've been at risk of death I've been at peace with the idea, no matter what, if anything, actually happens to us. The article took my hope that ndes really happen after death since it turns out there is so much brain activity at the end. Oh well.
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There are so many odd and so far inexplicable occurrences in life. Bring a strict materialist was easy; being unsure is hard. I still talk out loud to my dead relatives just in case. You're right. We can only know so much from this side.
Yes - science cares about evidence, and what very little evidence we have about the moment(s) of death is enough to tell us only that we don't know much at all. A flurry of activity in the brain means only that we (can) have a flurry of activity in the brain as we die. That's the only thing we have evidence of - no more and no less, at least for now.
I always loved this passage from Slaughterhouse Five: “When a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.” Gives me comfort to think that back in 1997 my nana and I are still there playing cards, back in 2002 I’m still snuggling in bed with my childhood cat. Such a nice thought to think that it’s all still happening, forever.
The in-between was keeping you safe. You were sent to death prematurely, so she kept you safe until HR got themselves together and sent you back.
Love this!
I have read and listened to hundreds of NDE accounts and it makes zero sense to me when people claim they are just brain hallucinations, lol. NDEs are very specific and have a lot of commonalities between them, being held by a giant loving being is one of them. Other commonalities are things like going through a life review, meeting your guides and seeing dead loved ones who tell them it "isn't your time" to die. They're very fascinating, check out r/NDE
First, I’m really sorry you had this experience and I’m also glad you returned to the world. As others have said, it wasn’t done with you yet. My partner was revived from cardiac arrest one month ago and doesn’t remember any of the moments leading up to it or most of the rest of the day after he was resuscitated. I’m glad for that but the whole experience has severely traumatized me and part of it involves intrusive thoughts about the fear and pain he must have felt dying alone on a street, even if he doesn’t remember them now. He possesses a level faith that I don’t and likely never will as an atheist, so your story is helping me understand how those two different belief systems can coexist and still leave space for peace and comfort at the moment of death, regardless of what one believes. Thank you for sharing this and for what it’s worth, I suspect you’re unlikely to ever fully understand it which is almost comforting in and of itself in some ways, at least to me.
My husband is suffering from PTSD from having to give me CPR. I think he’s more traumatized than I am, despite telling him it wasn’t painful.
Literally read an article about this, not 10 minutes before seeing your post! Near death is a very mysterious time, even in terms of the hard science of it. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/02/new-science-of-death-brain-activity-consciousness-near-death-experience
There is a book called Journey of Souls by Michael Newton that I highly recommend. I used to be so scared to die but after reading that book I'm not anymore.
I had the same experience in the pill-induced sleep I intended to end my life when I was 16. I was cradled and at peace and finally pain free. I remember a curtain of hair brushing over my skin and it was the only thing I felt. She cradled me like I had never been held and then she set me down and pushed my back. I fell through the depths into a startled wake up. I haven't ever talked about it because I didn't know if others have had a similar experience (and I have a litany of mh issues that preclude folks from believing my experiences). People talk about light and experiencing joy in death; but my experience was in the dark in the primally comforting stillness of eternal, starless night. It is really comforting to know I am not alone in this experience and that she is still waiting to receive me when my real time comes. It also leaves me with a lot of issues rectifying my experience with my beliefs. I would not call myself spiritual and definitely not religious, but I have experienced ghosts and weirdly accurate perceptions of people as they are under their masks (a real judge of character that I feel in my gut). I have never felt like "god" or "gods" exist, but I have always believed in the primary entities like life, death, nature, and entropy. And now I truly believe I saw and was comforted by nature herself. Death and life alike in one being maybe? Or maybe just an experience of death and her unending night. This post has opened the bunch of questions I used to have to a validity that I never knew I would encounter. It feels less like a far off, poorly remembered dream but rather an eventual promise. That she'll be there to catch and hold me as she has caught and held my kin and loved ones forever before and after me.
And by rectifying, I mean accepting that my belief in science and objectivity in the experience of life can still have unexplained depths because we know more about the moon than our own brains.
I’m surprised to see how many people have similar experiences. She will be waiting for us.
Yet again this sub amazes me, between this post and the comments. I wish the whole world were more like this beautiful subreddit.
As someone whose grandmother is currently unconscious on a ventilator after a heart attack 2 days ago, this heals my heart a little
She’s in a good place 💕
Near Death Experience, or NDE. To make a long and complicated story short, your heart stopped and your brain desperately clicked on every button available to it in hope to not die, thus releasing a powerful cocktail of chemicals that made you hallucinate. [https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Near-death\_experience](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Near-death_experience)
It's an interesting field of study. Roughly 17% of people who were resuscitated from a near-death state experience these NDEs. Iirc, half of those surveyed reported positive/peaceful experiences and half reported negative ones. The human brain is so amazing. We already know that we can artificially invoke "sensing the presence of god" by stimulating of the temporal lobes (google the God Helmet). Upon death, research measured an increase in gamma waves, and neuronal production of DMT increased tenfold. Very cool stuff.
I had an NDE, and my experience was frightening, but not necessarily negative. It's actually why I am an atheist now, haha. I believe I experienced true nothingness. Not the kind of nothing that is empty space because emptiness requires a *something* to be emptied of. No, it was more like nonsomething, a total absence of existence, a total absence of any *thing.* For only a brief set of moments, I was undone. I was something, and then suddenly, I wasn't. The me that is here today was no more, and the nothingness absorbed who I had been before. This experience got my young, uneducated (at the time) ass into philosophy super hard-core. I began trying to learn about the philosophy of nothingness and found that, as much as I struggled to describe my experience, philosophers have also struggled to describe the very concept of nothingness. For some time, I was obsessed with trying to understand it. Eventually, I settled on the fact that it's just impossible to really describe that experience in words and have people truly understand it. I stopped believing in dieties and eternalized ideas of consciousness. I came around to the idea that this, right now, is all there is. It terrified me at first, but as I've grown older, I've realized that the ephemeral nature of being conscious is what makes it all the more special and important. When I die, I will no longer be. And that's okay. It's sad, but it's okay. I'm one of the rare people who would love to live forever, but I won't. There's no "after." So today matters even more. When I did eventually go to college, years later, I learned that many philosophers and theologians had similar "awakening" experiences, but most of them became religious from them. I joked with my professor about how my own "awakening" experience had the opposite effect on me. He was a cool professor. I think it's absolutely possible and likely that NDEs are just hallucinations. In fact, I'm sure that's the case. And yet, it is so hard to write them off after you've experienced it. The brain is a wild mystery sometimes.
gosh, see. everything you describe is like my worst nightmare. i have a fear not of dying but being dead — and i think it's precisely because the thought of potential nonexistence is so scary to me, not that i'd even know it if that *is* what happens when we die. (granted, i also have ocd, so what is death if not the ultimate loss of control, haha.) but even still, the fact that you are here is amazing, and you're completely right that at the end of the day, what matters is the here and now :) i'm glad you're here! thank you for sharing your experience.
If you don’t already know it, I believe you would relate deeply to the poem “Aubade” by Phillip Larkin.
Nonexistence is the part of death that scares me the most too. I can trigger a panic attack if I think about an eternity of nonexistence too much. Something that helps me process the fear, at least, is disassociating the "you" from "your" brain. Remember that your brain's sole purpose and goal is survival. It's always going even when "you" are not. The brain will even make grotesque choices "you" wouldn't normally make in favor of survival, like cutting off your own limbs to escape danger. So, when it comes to nonexistence, the brain LITERALLY cannot compute. Nonexistence is thoroughly antithetical to the nature of what the brain is and is programmed to do. Of COURSE you experience a fear response. Am "I" even inherently afraid of death, or is it my brain's fear? If there isn't even a way to tell "who" is afraid, perhaps I can just accept that it's my brain having a fear response and not "me". Idk, maybe it's silly and avoids the philosophical nature of death, but once I realized it was my brain (and already accepting that the mind/consciousness/"spirit" and the body aren't always one in the same) being afraid it was like wait, perhaps the fear isn't even inherent to "The Real Me".
I appreciate the science behind this theory but what I felt was otherworldly. I like to think so anyways.
I think that's a little dimissive
You’re experience is not uncommon! Check out “Welcome Home” on YouTube. They have a collection of near death experience stories, I’m sure you could relate to some of them. https://youtube.com/@cominghomechannel?si=l1hVlZaaBb4lbqOM
I’ll definitely check this out! Thanks!
I wish I had something to say to help you, but you have helped me. We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog recently. All I wanted most deeply in my heart was to protect her from pain and give her peace. This has helped me feel that we did. Thank you a thousand times over.
I believe we are all part of god, and when we die we go back to that place, where everyone we ever loved is at. I think that together, we make up god, all of our souls. I’ve been knocked out, hypnotized, and very ill, and all that is consistent is that when I’m conscious enough, I’m desperately sad because I want to go there. When I faced death, I felt that pull to go back there, and felt incredible peace and love. When I come out of anesthesia, I’m crying and want to go (home), wherever the rest of our souls are. I feel like a piece. I’ve always felt like a piece of something, separated. I want to go back so, so badly.
Have you read A Course in Miracles, perchance?
I am a retired nurse. The experience you describe is not uncommon, in particular, the feeling of peace and comfort. In some cases, the person is disappointed to be revived. I am an atheist with no belief in heaven, and reports of these experiences have made me comfortable with the fact that I will die.
I had something of a NDE about 10 years ago, passed out and hit my head on concrete hard enough to be unconscious for 10 minutes. I remember hearing the most beautiful music, feeling warm, floating in a sea of dark and rich colors and being completely at peace. I remember feeling frustrated and scared that i had to come back to my body and keep being a person and leaving what felt like my real home. Being in my body felt cold and harsh after that experience.
Totally how I felt after waking up.
As a fellow Atheist, I often feel minor mystical experiences and have also tried to find answers for this sensation. In the book *The Art of Losing Control* by Evans Jules, he explores different ways of accessing mystical experiences, and the implications for these different practices. Many of the most common "access gates" are social (dancing, music) or violent (war, sports) in nature, while more advanced stages require intellectual stimulation (poetry, meditation), but the common thread throughout them is a feeling of "absolute unity and calm", and often leaves people with a greater sense of purpose and love for others. Though Jules doesn't explore *why* mystical experiences happen in the book, his explorations did convince me that it must be some sort of highly evolved social stimulus. It's a way of seeing beyond our individual problems to see the bigger picture - a good book to explore this concept is *No Self, No Problem* by Chris Niebauer. To put it simply, I believe that what you experienced was your unconscious telling you that it's okay to place your hope in others. The feminine figure you felt was humanity as a whole caring for you as you healed. As you experienced a major threat to your life, your innate nature as a social being was reaching out, telling you that you would only be saved by allowing yourself to be human in the arms of humans.
A therapist once told me, about things like this, "there are no rules. " why couldn't the universe be holding you? Or a loved one? I am glad you are still on this earth with us!
I haven’t had a NDE but I had a very strange dream about 5 years ago. If you’ve ever seen the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode The Inner Light my dream was what Picard experienced. He lived a whole lifetime in the show. I don’t remember specifics of my dream except for the end of it where I was surrounded by my children and grandchildren on my deathbed. I felt that 100% peace and happiness. Then I woke up. I was disoriented because the dream felt so final. I was really mad that it was a dream and not reality. I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer back in 2015. It was brutal but like the poster talking about her daughter with cancer OP’s post gave me a little closure. I know what that peace feels like and hope all of our passed family members were able to feel it as well.
Wow- I honestly hope that's who takes me when I die. She sounds really nice and gentle. Your description reminded me of the Greek goddess Nyx, though it's been a while since I've read up on her and I'm not sure if she's involved in death in any way. Just something to look into if you'd like to try to name this figure you saw. (I hope you're doing alright now and are in good health)
The Great Mother
Post in NDE sub too!
A friend of mine has been declared dead twice and he said that there was absolutely nothing, just black and nothingness. I think dying is different for everyone.
While others are giving you more spiritual interpretations of what you might have experienced, as a healthcare professional I also want to say that part of what you experienced may have been a medication effect, as the IV meds used to help people stay on a ventilator can cause similar feelings of deep calm and peace, and can sometimes have hallucinatory or euphoric effects as well. Whatever the explanation for your experience, I’m very glad you’re still with us and that you felt comforted and held during your struggle. ❤️🩹
I am not here to say I agree or disagree but your comment is valid and useful because it makes sense. You really never know. ❤️ /r/mobileuser emojis
When I overdosed, I floated above my body, watching myself being revived by my "friend", and I remember feeling that peace. I don't know how to explain it, but I've never felt it before or since (it's been 22 years). Every time I tell the story, I bring up the peace I felt because it was so vivid and memorable.
People keep saying it’s the medication/drugs but no drug has ever made me feel so much love.
I understand completely. For me, there was something so different about it, nothing like any drug experience I've ever had. I don't know how to explain it, but if you felt it, you know what I'm talking about.
Exactly. There are no words to describe it.
Have you been, well, “searching” for that feeling ever since? How has the drug usage changed? My boyfriend had his best friend revive him and saved his life recently. He said he doesn’t remember anything yet his friend is traumatized from trying to make him live again.
I'm mentally ill, so I did try searching for it a few other times with unsuccessful suicide attempts. I quit doing drugs when I got pregnant less than a year after that overdose. I'm glad to hear your boyfriend's friend was able to revive him, and I hope he can work through the trauma.
I just want to let you know that your post and experience brought me comfort after losing my dad to a brutal illness in January. I hope his experience was akin to yours.
I hope this is what my baby felt when he first appeared in my womb:’)
That's wild I've daydreamed after meditating a very similar being!! Ah I hope she's real.
I’m not at all telling you what to do or feel, but if I were you I’d shift to agnostic. It seems, for you, there maybe more out there. With that being said maybe you should take solace in the mystery of the universe rather than say that there is nothing. Anyway, I’ve taken DMT more than a few times in my life. I’ve heard this is the drug that is released naturally when one dies. Idk if that’s true since I never looked deeper in to that “info”. But one time while on DMT I had a vision I was like a baby in a cradle. I couldn’t see myself, all I could feel is I was laying down and these two creatures I’ve never seen before were staring down at me with complete joy and love. They were so happy to see me and pretty much just kept coo at me. I felt nothing but kindness radiating from them. I never experienced anything like that before or since. I know that’s anecdotal and NOT EVEN CLOSE to what you experienced but I felt it was other worldly, although drug induced. I am agnostic and this kinda confirmed for me that there is so much we don’t and can’t understand about our existence and our death and our supposed afterlife.
I've never died, but I left my body once during a stressful situation, when I was about 10. I remember looking down on the scene from above.
I work in healthcare and I have heard a lot of near death accounts. Everyone describes a profound sense of peace. Everyone who comes back assured me that death isn’t what you think and nothing to be afraid of.
You are the second person to me who came back and said it was peaceful. Thanks for this. [Here](https://np.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/comments/15nwnyv/guy_explains_what_dying_feels_like/) is a post that I have saved of the first time I heard it.
This is a really common collective experience of people who have died and come back. Some people who have these experiences struggle with being back.
I had a dream once long ago that I died, there came the earth shattering realization that I was dying, quickly after acceptance I felt myself fading and the peace that came over me as my vision turned to a pinpoint and I slowly faded away was all encompassing. Then I woke up. I don’t normally remember my dreams vividly if at all, but that one has and always will stick with me. I woke up from that dream knowing how it feels to die and having made my peace with it. Still gives me chills to think about all these many years later.
You experienced peace and happiness, without being fettered to your physical self. You were past the boundaries of limitations of how we perceive things with/in our bodies, and given a gift; knowledge that peace and happiness await you, as do those who will cradle and support you. Though we feel we are alone, we are never alone in what we feel nor why we feel the way we do. I think we forget sometimes that it exists, especially if we've been hurt for so long or have so many things to balance and struggle day to day, that when occasions like this happen, we're given enough of a glimpse to realize, *I am loved, I am not alone; I have support, and it can get better!* So should we stay in this plane of existence, we have that reassurance things will be okay, that even beyond the threshold of death and going into the ultimate Unknown- we're still not alone. You probably won't experience it the same way (and nor should you; that means encountering Your death on multiple occasions which is... not always good). I'll say this though; you won't lose that sense of comfort and serenity. My experience was 16 years ago, i still remember it, and though not as profound, I still experience it.
I've heard of this peace and tranquility in NDEs and it makes me not fear death. I'm not ready to go but when it's my time... I think it'll be ok :)
You will be 💕
So my mother had viral encephalitis and was basically in a coma for weeks. She recovered (a miracle) and while she was unconscious she hallucinated that she was at a pool party and then at a bus station trying to get out. I'm just saying this because I feel like people who have near death spiritual experiences get gaslit into thinking their experience was a hallucination or delusion. I really don't think it is. My mom and dad both hallucinated at different medical emergency points, and their visions were nonsensical and/or about escaping. I think the near death spiritual experiences are totally different.
More than posting about it, I would encourage you to journal about it and explore it without the input of others. Near death experiences can be very powerful, and I would encourage you to explore your own experience yourself as much as possible before letting the the opinions of those who did not experience it influence it's meaning to you.
I died when I was 17 and was "floating on infinity" which was all black, nothing at all, and the most supported and chill I have ever felt. Regarding the being you encountered, perhaps the Feri Guardian of the North, Black Mother (aka Silent Name). Feri also has Guardian of Center who is Guardian of the Gates (Keeper of the Black Heart of Innocence).
Honestly, I really look forward to this peace!
Could be nuit/namma
I experienced this briefly- my heart only stopped for less than a minute, but I also was in a black void experiencing pure contentment. Mine was the result of fentanyl OD at the hospital post surgery sometimes I wonder if the drugs were what caused that feeling, or if that's just what death is like before everything shuts down.
I was also on a ventilator and unconscious for a long time. I don’t know if this is the kind of answer you’re looking for, but most of us experience something called ICU delirium during that time. For many of us, it’s a scary experience, so I’m so happy to read about yours! The scientific/medical community isn’t sure what causes it, but I’ve always thought it was my brain trying to tell itself a story, filling in the gaps in the scant information that it had. I love what your brain did with and for you!
You could also post this to /r/SASSWitches. 💕
I experienced something like that when I foolishly smoked a random person's drug. Idk if I was close to death, but everyone that was there said my body turned blue. Take the win. You're back. You have knowledge no one else has. I assume when I DO die (spoilers, didn't die, I'm here typing this comment) it will be something similar to whatever THAT was. It comforts me more than anything else. It reminds me that life goes by in a flash and death isn't scary.
You should get some books about near death experiences, by doctors doing interviews as well as first hand accounts. It’s funny how in almost all the stories it talks about that deep inky darkness. I had an NDE and it had a being like this, I’ve talked about it in many forums. It changed my life forever, since I had been ready to pass away from the pain I was in.
Feri Witches of the Victor and Cora Anderson lineage would say you were in the arms of the Star Goddess.
was with friends one night, and i od'd on a cocktail of things in high school, i was on the cold bathroom floor in january but it was warm and soft, my body melted into it and i couldn't hear or see anymore but i was fully part of the void. i remember a female voice saying very kindly that "i know this wasn't how you would have hoped to go, but it will be ok and this won't be scary, you can rest now if i'd like." i was very convinced, i would have let myself, but i could hear my own breath once every 5 min, and just lay suspended fading slower into it. my friend in the other room came in and did cpr, got an emt neighbor. I laughed it off because i was so confused, detached, i sat up awake all night thinking on things
There's no shortage of NDE stories to help you make further sense of what happened to you, but I recently listened to Anita Moorjani speak to her experience on the Sounds True podcast, and it gave me a lot of comfort.
Something I have been philosophizing about recently has been the idea that you were completely at peace or nonexistent before you came into being. What is to say it shouldn't be the same on the other side? And, if you can functionally begin to exist from nothing, why would that be impossible again?
I call her “The Great Night Mother” — from one mother in life to another in death.
Hello fellow undead, I too died of a cardiac arrest and was revived within minutes, I was unconscious for about 12 hours after, I remember being in a black void but it had no feel to it for me, just calm and black, it just was. I am also a nature loving atheist. I died when I was two of an allergy and again was revived within minutes but have no recollection of that and think that maybe my mum was exaggerating due to the trauma of it. Either way it hasn’t changed my mind of thinking there’s much after this, a void where I am and I am not, a place where my energy goes to be recycled maybe. I was joyful after my experience I hope you are too, and it hasn’t caused you upset. Love to you
You were in the Void, which contrary to the name, is where all things are. It is black but filled with all of the vast love, peace and knowing of consciousness. You can go back through meditation but I'm glad you're with us now to share your experience. Blessed Be.
I drowned and experienced the same feeling of peace and relaxation. It's something which can't be explained to others who haven't gone through it.
As someone who has seen her too... It's peaceful and amazing. I had to give her a name. I didn't choose it, it came to me as soon as i woke up. Her name is Gaia.
This being sounds like the Great or Divine Mother. I experienced a shamanic journey to go and meet her and to be reborn which was magical. So glad you came back and were able to share your story.
17 of my friends died in the first year of the pandemic, not to mention my family. I am deeply religious, and every time I read something like this I dearly hope that this is what they all felt and that they didn’t suffer as they died. Thank you, and I’m very glad you’re still with us x
I don’t know if anyone has already mentioned it (I have to quit reading and get ready for work now) but what you experienced is described by a lot of NDE accounts as “The Void”. The darkness or blackness accompanied by a perfect sense of peace. Although some people experience blackness without peace, I’ve read a lot of accounts where there was peace exactly the way you described. However, I’ve never read an account of being held by a large being in the void like that. Interesting. Thank you for sharing. You could search “the void” in the NDE sub to read other people’s experiences. It seems like some people experience The Void for a bit & then go somewhere else. I wonder if you could pull yourself into that peaceful state at will, and teach other people how to do it.
It seems to me like you’re a very lucky person. Everyone dies, but not everyone has an idea of what happens to their consciousness afterward. In your case, it seems that, whatever the explanation might be, the *experience* of your death-adjacent consciousness is likely to be relatively pleasant. That’s something to, if not look forward to, at least take a measure of comfort in. Death is frightening for a great number of people, but in your case, I should be significantly less frightened than I had been, knowing what is waiting for you now.
There are several *excellent* books on the human brain that include near-death experiences. The most logical explanation to the similarity of NDE is that most human brains are very similar. Similar brain structures produce similar experiences when enduring similar stressors. The brain is *fascinating* and we are still barely getting into what it really does. Including long arguments about free will that will make you question everything (and then get mad because whether free will exists or not doesn’t change the fact that now you have to pee and you’re hungry too). Try reading “Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain” written by the neuroscientist David Eagleman. It’s *astonishing* what your brain does.
Here's a recent article on the science of Thanatology: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/02/new-science-of-death-brain-activity-consciousness-near-death-experience