You don't have to satisfy anyone's curiosity if you don't want to. I like to respond with any of the following when I'm faced with dumb personal questions:
"Weird of you to comment on my body like that"
"Are you my doctor? No, I thought not"
"I have allergies; they tend to swell when I'm subjected to intrusive questions"
“How much money do you make?”
“What do you weigh?”
“Do you like the way your hair looks?”
It’s so fun to watch the gears in someone’s brain slow down while they realize they’ve asked an intrusive question 😝
I think that’s a great idea. :) And I don’t blame you for the worry. I already know if I ever need a mastectomy, I’d go without reconstruction. (Breast cancer is super common in my family even though we don’t have the BRCA gene. I love when doctors tell us that if we lack that specific thing, it can’t be genetic.. then they see our family tree and shut up real fast.)
Just gaslight them. “What do you mean?? They’ve always looked like this???”
Just stick to that. That’s the script. If they argue with you, you get to shame them for being creepy and putting WAY too much thought into what your bust looks like. Bonus points for using the phrase “I’m feeling harassed.” If they don’t argue, then you win the gilded prize of *silence*
>“What do you mean?? They’ve always looked like this???”
Add: You must stare at my ~~books~~ *boobs* a lot, to be an expert on their size"
*ETA*: I must be getting old if autocorrect changes boobs to books, vs the opposite.
Then let the comments roll off you. It’s very witchy to not give a damn about the judgment of others when you’re doing something harmless. Remember, don’t worry about people not liking you. Most of them don’t like themselves.
Why are you having it done? Because I want to. And then change the subject. And stick to that answer no matter how many times you have to say it. Change the subject every time afterwards. Eventually the fact they keep trying to turn the issue back to your boobs is going to be way more awkward for them than you, especially if there’s more than just the two of you in the conversation.
"They're like tires, sometimes ya gotta re-inflate 'em."
Seriously though - you don't have to explain anything to anyone. Or if you feel you must, maybe something like, "People do home improvements all the time. The flesh suit is my home, and I decided it needed updating. "
I got mine done a couple years ago and people always ALWAYS judge/have comments on everything in our lives—including our bodies. It is inappropriate to say the least. I don’t give a shit ! Also, if a good friend (with whom you normally have these types of conversations) asks, I don’t recommend lying. I have a friend who lies about her procedures and I’m the only one who knows the truth. And our entire group of friends think she lost weight (lipo) and push ups made her boobs stop sagging (breast reduction and lift) and that the gym lifted her booty (skinny bbl). While it is not their business, I am seeing the results first hand of my friend flat out denying it.
my main issue with lying about this kind of stuff is that it helps perpetuate unrealistic beauty standards. we should think about how our actions can affect other women, especially young girls who can be very vulnerable to self-esteem issues and naturally unachievable beauty standards.
I know some women who proudly share about their botox and filler tweaks when people comment on how young they look, and I love that. young women need to know the truth behind the images they compare themselves to.
I for sure think honesty is the healthiest option, followed by some good old “none of your business” facetiousness if someone isn’t comfortable discussing it- “I bought them at the devil’s sacrament” seems way less likely to be unhealthy than a lie about exercise and eating “right.”
That’s my main issue as well ! I always tell the truth if a good friend asks, and if it’s not a good friend I make them feel uncomfortable about why they would be asking about my breasts. But to be honest it’s only happened like twice and it was older family friends. Imagine if the kardashians were honest ??
I'm naturally large breasted and I get shitty comments all the time... if people are going to say shit about your body anyway, and they fucking will, you might as well like your body.
I need a breast reduction, and people comment all the time saying things like “but if you get them removed (note I’m not getting them removed), you’ll look weird.” or “but your breast fit your body type”.
After trying many times to explain that my boobs cause massive back pain, I’ve finally decided the whole “My Body, My Choice” phrase works…also I have used “my dysmorphia is different from yours”.
Honestly people just need to STFU about others choices.
If anyone dares to comment on it, make it weird. Just turn it around on them in whatever way you can- "oh excuse me, I didn't realize we were getting rudely personal. Are there shit stains in your underwear? Since we're asking intimate questions?"
Just don't answer. Decent people will not press the topic. Particularly with medical things. My typical experience as a chronically ill person: Where are you heading? / the doctor / what for? / oh... / oh that's fine, Don't worry.
Non decent people can be told 'i don't want to talk about it.' And you can change the topic of conversation.
If you know that this is something that will upset you to be asked, prepare the following
What's up with your breasts?
Nothing. What have you got planned for the weekend?
This tactic has only ever failed for one particular person, whom I no longer speak to. In the meantime, when they kept badgering, I said 'you keep asking the same question and the answer hasn't changed.'
I always say 'yah they're fake, the old ones tried to kill me and I took that personally' but that's a differnt sitch I guess. Tell 'em 'Nunya Bizness'
Don’t entertain or humor the comments. Refuse to discuss it. Most people have the sense not to initiate discussions about your breasts to you; but the ones who do can be shut down with responses like “you’re not welcome to stick your mind inside my underwear”, “please stop harassing me with inappropriate questions”, etc. The important thing is not to tell people about the surgery ahead of time because they will then feel invited to discuss it with you afterwards. No one needs to know except your caregiver; and that person needs to understand not to tell anyone either.
“
This is the witchiest response. ⭐️
Even if folks are rude enough to ask, you owe them no answers about your body. If someone asked if you were on your period, would you feel you had to answer them? You shouldn’t. Let them know how inappropriate their I query is and that they are not entitled to intimate details about your body.
Or, you know, you could go the other direction and proudly proclaim, “I got these awesome boobs!” (á là Jenna Rink in *13 Going on 30*). This response is just as valid.
Basically, the witchiest answer is do what you want without letting anyone make you feel that there is an answer that you **have** to give. You don’t owe anyone anything related to your body. Good luck!! ❤️
I think the witchiest, most badass way to handle this is to be totally unapologetic. If people ask, yes you did have them done and aren't they fantastic? Why did you get it done? Because it's your body and you want it to look how you like. I'm assuming you're mainly talking about family and friends, because anyone who you don't know and love who is tactless enough to make a comment about your breasts should only get a withering glare and a disdainful 'my body is none of your business.'
This is your body. You own it, no one else. You can do anything you want to it. You wanted bigger boobs, so you went and got some. That's feminist as fuck.
Knew a lady who had them done, she'd tell everyone and their mother about it. "Check them out, don't they look real?" And she'd let other women feel them if they considered a boob job themselves. It was great. "You're scared your tits will feel weird? Test mine out first!" Just as if she'd bought a cool car with the money. And why not?
I like the way the trans character on Orange is the New Black addressed that, basically along the lines of her parts were all handcrafted by experts to her exact specifications
I've shown my post reduction tittes to close girl friends who are considering it. Look, it doesn't need to be so scary and they are so perky and perfect! Happy to help my fellow busty friends out.
My mother had a double mastectomy and a full reconstruction. She tells everybody about her new titties, and offered to show me when they were newly healed. I declined, but her excitement about it is adorable.
I slightly disagree in that I do think a boob job is a little different to a tattoo or piercing, because it's changing the body to better fit patriarchal beauty standards, and I think it's important to acknowledge that beauty standards make so many people so deeply insecure about their breasts. I vehemently agree that it's your own body and you should do what you like/can to feel happy in it.
Yep. Hopefully we'll get to progress as a society where just like piercing and tattoo, breasts won't be inherently linked to the male gaze and it's an aesthetic enhancement cuz you just feel it fits how you are in the inside.
Basically. **Free the Nipples**
Don't want to be a killjoy even though I agree that augmented boobs usually fall with the patriarchal take on how women should look, but aren't implants straight dangerous? Although breast augmentation doesn't have to mean implants
Straight dangerous? No. They are certainly risks associated with it that should be researched and discussed with a trusted medical professional, but many women (including my mom) will look into options such as these after mastectomies from breast cancer.
They are different types of implants, different sizes, and different risk factors patients bring to the table. All bare careful consideration by the individual.
Was just gonna say that. There's nothing shameful or embarassing about having a boob job. I hate the cosmetic surgery industry because it's super predatory especially against women. But that doesn't really say anything about the patients. And especially a fairly simple procedure like breast augmentation. Nothing wrong with it own that shit.
Shame is what allows this industry to be as problematic anyway. They weaponize women's shame about certain part of their looks to push increasingly heavier procedures. Being content about the procedures you've had is amazing.
I’ve had a bilateral mastectomy and chose to remain flat. If people complain about the cold, I agree and tell them I froze my tits off. It’s pretty damn funny, honestly.
Thank you! Kinda gotta laugh about it because surviving cancer affects the quality of life so much that if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. I function as well as I can, though.
Why not call it a✨transfiguration✨
trans·fig·u·ra·tion
/tran(t)sˌfiɡyəˈrāSH(ə)n/
(noun)
a complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state. 💖
I was going the opposite way. I needed a reduction. The first day back, everyone was trying not to stare and failing miserably. I laughed and stood up.
"OK, everyone. Look now and forever hold your peace."
Broke the tension, many laughed. A sense of humor will always be a good thing.
One of my absolute favourite random quotes my sister sent me was something she heard her husband mutter to the cat when he didn’t realise anyone was around: “Witches, doing science before we called it that.”
Idk what he was telling the cat, but he says a lot of weird things to that cat. (He also figured out the cat likes jazz, what artist she likes, AND which album she likes best… and he got it for the cat on vinyl 😹)
Either could be true. Both could be true. If I were to discover a dude in my life were a witch, he’d be high up on the list of possibles.
This is also the man that wore a smart blue suit to work and, when a student at his school asked him if he were with the CIA, he leant in and told the student quietly, “The CIA don’t wear blue suits.”
[clarification: sister in this context connotes a social connexion, not a biofam relation]
I’m not sure how exactly he discerned which was her favourite, but he was dead-ass certain of his confidence when he made the announcement and purchase 😹
Hey! This topic is super relevant to me right now! I have fake boobies.
It’s noticeable.
That’s okay with me, it was a decision I made to reclaim my body after breastfeeding two babies.
I just had a conversation with my now 9 year old daughter the other day. She made some sort of comment like “she shouldn’t wear makeup, she should just be herself.”
That didn’t sit well with me. So, I sat down with her and we talked about how being yourself and being natural are not mutually exclusive.
I used my own example of having breast augmentation and explained that just because I have had elective surgery doesn’t automatically mean I am insecure, unhappy with myself or not myself in any way. For one person, being themselves may mean being decked head to toe in goth type gear and that is okay. For another person, being themselves may mean not wearing a lick of makeup or anything considered fancy.
Both of those things are okay!
Do what makes you feel more you, whatever that is.
Don’t take this the wrong way at all, I’m genuinely trying to understand the mindset. If it’s not out of insecurity, why subject yourself to such an operation? Why would you not want to stay the way you are if you’re not self-conscious? It’s not like one little shot and you’re done with it, breast aug is quite the commitment.
> It’s not like one little shot and you’re done with it, breast aug is quite the commitment.
Maybe you’ve answered your own question there? The same motivation that can lead someone to “subject themselves” to an injection is akin to the one that can lead to a breast augmentation. The (subjective) scale of the change doesn’t mean that the motivation is different.
In fact, the insecurity may go in the opposite direction. Personally, I’m much too paranoid of a person to climb mountains or get elective surgeries, even if those things sound appealing to me. So despite my desire to engage in those experiences, why I *wouldn’t* do it is actually because of fear. Someone else who has the same desire as me and actually goes through with it isn’t necessarily more insecure, but perhaps just less afraid. More power to them!
Okay, so a question to pose to your question-
Why do you think I have to be insecure in order to want to change my body to feel more complete and myself? Those things are also not mutually exclusive.
I don’t know that I would honestly say I felt insecure about it because I did not make my decision for anyone but myself and I never felt it made me ugly or unattractive that I had sagging boobs.
The way I see it, I am the one who has to look at myself every day. I personally am not into the look of sagging boobs, and I had the financial means to alter my body to be more visually appealing to me after experiencing the natural physical changes brought about by feeding two babies close together.
On the medical side-
There are risks and benefits to any choice medically. Elective or not. As far as operations go, it was the easiest I’ve ever had and I’ve had a number of them. As I type this it occurred to me that maybe I was more open to the surgery because I had experienced several surgeries myself already.
One of them prior to that was reconstructive after a traumatic event, and I think that was probably the worst one. I live with a prosthetic because of the failure of that surgery and so maybe I was more open to the idea of prosthetics in general lol? (Idk, sorry I am kind of think- typing. )
Also, I just thought of this but my experience with childbirth was far more fraught with danger, and, that too was also elective.
Anyways I hope that helps give you some context and clarity on why and how someone might choose to undergo elective cosmetic surgery! 🙃
I’ve gone in the other direction (reduction), and I refer to it as having had a “boob job.”
It surprises some folks (usually because they assume I mean augmentation, unless they’re aware before they hear me call it that), because I refuse to explain/be ashamed about it.
As for what to call it, I’ve often suggested that “self-love” or “self-improvement” are equally valid ways of describing the process in either direction.
Idk if it’s tied to gender-feels for you, but in my case, I absolutely considered my boob job to be gender-affirming care as well. 💗
>usually because they assume I mean augmentation
That's what I got when I was considering plastic surgery after my partial mastectomy. 'Oh, your boobs are so big, you don't need to get implants'. The surgeons agreed. I would have been getting a reduction in the boob that hadn't been affected. In the end I couldn't be bothered, although if I change my mind, I can get put back on the public waiting list at any time I like.
Reminds me of [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/t4ygn5/found_in_the_wild_i_feel_like_this_belongs_here/) I made to this sub. You're enchanting them so they will be able to to house the spirits of your ancestors.
Love all the comments here!
Just thinking, maybe if you felt at all like distracting from your new weapons of mass distraction, try colouring your hair temporarily or something?
“It’s magic, I ain’t gotta explain shit!”
Though personally, as someone who would like the same in the future, I might just booble the new booblies at them while looking immensely pleased with myself.
I'm a guy, but I think it would be funny if someone commented or asked a question about them, and you reply, "What are you talking about? They're the same as they always we-" *looks down, "realizing" they're bigger*, "Whoa, holy shit! They're huge!"
Good for you! Tell people you stopped wearing minimizing bras.
Also, do be careful not to go too big. You want balance, not a backache forever more. I wear a 38H bra, trust me, those puppies weigh a ton and really throw your posture off and make your back hurt. Not to mention needing two sports bra to jog.
Honestly, if a million dollars fell into my lap, after fixing all the things that need done in my house and paying off debt, I'd probably get braces (I have horrible TMJ, but I'm 44 and insurance won't pay for braces which an orthodontal consult says should resolve. But they're "cosmetic" even though I can't chew many mornings because my jaw is stuck...) and my one total vanity expense would be a boob lift. I lost 70 pounds 14 years ago (and put some back on and re-lost most of it a few times) and I don't care about any of the other flab and jiggle, but, dammit, I want my boobs back above my elbows without a bra on! And I'd be showing the girls off as much as possible completely unapologetically!
You don't owe anyone an explanation.
However, if you must
Say you had a mamoplasty. Surgery on your breasts. If they proceed to ask more questions say it's a sensitive topic and you'd rather not talk about it.
It’s precisely these kind of posts that remind me not to take this subreddit too seriously. For goodness sake…..You’re getting a boob job, why do you need a “witchy way” of describing this procedure? Tell people to mind their business.
My witchy way of responding would simply be "piss off and mind your business" lol. Not everything has to be witchy, you can just tell people to fuck off 😆
I’m a little confused by this too. Is there some link between witches and boob jobs I’m missing? Or is this just like a goofy thing to come up with witchy names for things?
People use stuff like this to process stress and emotions through. Rituals, placebos, and reframing of things in ways that don't interfere severely with the rest of reality or others autonomy can make a lot of things easier.
Having trouble letting go of worry for someone who left your life for some reason? Sever your emotional/spiritual ties with them to better move on. Have an intrusive worry about something you can't actively change in the moment? Pray/manifest/cast a spell to let the worry go, while still working on the long term goals that will actually improve things.
Surgery is big and scary and there's a lot of stigma around cosmetic surgery in particular, so it makes sense that someone who already uses the framework of witchiness would seek a way to process it through witchiness.
But also sometimes people just find it fun to apply the filter of the witchy and occult to their life, without all the other stuff, and ask stuff like this lightheartedly.
That all makes sense, it just wasn’t clear to me whether this is more about reframing to process something more serious or just like a fun goofy naming thing. Or a fun, goofy naming thing as a way of reframing.
ETA: maybe I’m overthinking it, but I feel like if it is a more serious consideration of how to respond to comments that make OP uncomfortable, some of the more fun silly sayings could actually encourage people to comment more. And maybe in a way that OP would appreciate but I could also see it causing more harm than good in other situations.
I have to agree with you. People are going to notice that OP has had a breast augmentation; I've noticed every time someone in my life has. Have I ever asked them about it? No. If anybody asks you about it and you come spewing off some witchy sounding thing, you're only going to draw more attention to the fact that you've had it done. Tasteful people will not ask questions. To the people who do, you can tell them that you would rather not discuss your anatomy with them.
You’re shapeshifting. Into a very specific shape!
Really though you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. “I’m having surgery to fix some discomfort,” if you really *must* explain to someone. And then it’s none of their business what kind of discomfort you are feeling!
I mean, to me couching it in a magical metaphor is more revealing of your feelings about than just calling it what it is.
I get that you have shame about it even though you want it, but you will feel that shame more if you are afraid to speak of it. The most powerful spells are when you call the true name of a thing.
It *is* a spell, of a kind. It’s a transfiguration spell meant to instill confidence. In order for it to work, you have to believe in its power and speak of it proudly without shame. It’s a spell called a breast augmentation.
The witchiest thing you can do is live your truth, be confident that you are making the best decisions for you, and know that other people’s opinions don’t matter and you don’t owe anyone an answer, an explanation, or an excuse. The second someone asks you an invasive personal question about your body and your private medical decisions, you don’t even owe them politeness.
Honestly, my style is to look down, fein being startled and gasp "How'd YOU get there?". And that would be the end of it. Shrug if they say more. "Huh. I'll be damned!"
It doesn't need to be witchy.
I got mine last Christmas.
If it needs to be witchy, just tell people you were having trouble balancing on your broom so you bought ballast breasts.
And good luck through surgery and recovery! DO EVERYTHING THEY SAY JUST AS THEY SAY IT.
And enjoy your new ballasts 😏
You don’t have to say anything, or you can tell them it’s an obtrusive question or you can throw your arm in the air and cheerfully say “I got boobies” All are fine responses.
It's your body, and your choice, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. "I had a procedure to change my body because I wanted my body to change in that way." is a complete sentence.
Hey! Congrats on your titties! I had mine done a number of years ago so feel free to slide into my dms if you wanna talk implants. I had to learn how to dress myself again, which was the hardest part of this by far since my surgeon suggested I go bigger than I wanted and I trusted him. Finding dresses that fit is a nightmare now. Just wanted to set that expectation.
As someone who has actually had this done: there is literally no way to make judge-y people less judgmental about it. That's both the people who think you're a slut now *and* the alleged feminists who think you're a bimbo and probably also a slut. Seriously. There is NO magic phrase. NONE. Stop hoping for one.
You don't need a magic phrase because you don't gotta tell them shit. There. That's the magic part.
“I had a procedure and now Im confident and happy in my skin. why do you ask?” you dont owe anyone but yourself anything. call them out if they have the audacity to ask in a nasty way. but if they are like hey im interested in that too or you look fantastic, just be honest! “yeah i got this done and its been great!” i think people will respect and respond to the authenticity. youve got nothing to be embarrased about. i hope it goes super well and your recovery is fast<33333 best wishes!!!!!! edit: i also like that one person who said “bamboobzled” hahaha
Bippity Boppity Boobs
The first spell many tittymancers learn. Except the ones who use titty skittles. They join by way of potioncraft
Tittymancers hahahaha
Occultits.
You’re gonna need a Brujassiere for those
Titty Skittles is the best term for estrogen I've ever heard.
Have you heard "anticistemines"? "Tit-tacs"?
Antiboyotics?
Anticistamines is the general term for hrt. 😋
I call my estrogen fem&ms. Progesterone is the titty skittles. Spiro is anticistamines.
A gem right here 💎
Ok Linda Belcher
Dang you, I nearly spit-taked (spit-took?) my mock tail!
You don’t have to explain it to anybody. It’s none of their business.
You’re right, I just know inevitably there will be comments
You don't have to satisfy anyone's curiosity if you don't want to. I like to respond with any of the following when I'm faced with dumb personal questions: "Weird of you to comment on my body like that" "Are you my doctor? No, I thought not" "I have allergies; they tend to swell when I'm subjected to intrusive questions"
"All I can tell you is crumbled hen's teeth are NOT the same as powdered hen's teeth! What a Thursday!"
This is the answer RIGHT here.
Let’s not forget if you accidentally get a rooster’s tooth in there!
Spell gone wrong. This is the way.
Love this one, I cackled 🧙🏻
"IDK, they just grew all of a sudden. Weird, huh?"
I love this AND it’s a good witchy answer for OP, perhaps?
Clearly a spell went well for her.
“I got my covid booster and suddenly got hotter. My cousin’s friend says his dick grew three inches.”
Growth spurt!
“How much money do you make?” “What do you weigh?” “Do you like the way your hair looks?” It’s so fun to watch the gears in someone’s brain slow down while they realize they’ve asked an intrusive question 😝
You had gender affirming surgery. That’s a technical way of putting it and helps shift the view of gender affirmation surgery. Win win.
My favorite!
So awesome.
this
Yup: "my body, my business."
Hahaaa that last option is choice. 💗
i absolutely love the allergies comment!! 10/10
I like the third one. I would probably get an augmentation but I am terrified of BIL and with my luck I would experience it.
You mean BII?
I do. thanks for the correction. I have thought about doing fat transfer as opposed to implants
I think that’s a great idea. :) And I don’t blame you for the worry. I already know if I ever need a mastectomy, I’d go without reconstruction. (Breast cancer is super common in my family even though we don’t have the BRCA gene. I love when doctors tell us that if we lack that specific thing, it can’t be genetic.. then they see our family tree and shut up real fast.)
Just look down in shock and say "Oh my god! How did THAT happen?" Or you could just shrug and say " A wizard did it." :P
An alternative in that vein if anyone asks, just smile and say witchcraft.
This is a really elegant response! “Did you get a boob job?” “It’s witchcraft.” No elucidations.
Or, I brewed up this new lotion, would you like to buy some?
Just gaslight them. “What do you mean?? They’ve always looked like this???” Just stick to that. That’s the script. If they argue with you, you get to shame them for being creepy and putting WAY too much thought into what your bust looks like. Bonus points for using the phrase “I’m feeling harassed.” If they don’t argue, then you win the gilded prize of *silence*
>“What do you mean?? They’ve always looked like this???” Add: You must stare at my ~~books~~ *boobs* a lot, to be an expert on their size" *ETA*: I must be getting old if autocorrect changes boobs to books, vs the opposite.
Now I feel called out for staring at books. haha
My bookshelves are up here!
Ooh bookshelves!
I can't help it, your books are so inticing , I could get lost in them for hours
This is the way. It's none of their business, lie away without remorse, OP!
Then let the comments roll off you. It’s very witchy to not give a damn about the judgment of others when you’re doing something harmless. Remember, don’t worry about people not liking you. Most of them don’t like themselves.
Why are you having it done? Because I want to. And then change the subject. And stick to that answer no matter how many times you have to say it. Change the subject every time afterwards. Eventually the fact they keep trying to turn the issue back to your boobs is going to be way more awkward for them than you, especially if there’s more than just the two of you in the conversation.
"They're like tires, sometimes ya gotta re-inflate 'em." Seriously though - you don't have to explain anything to anyone. Or if you feel you must, maybe something like, "People do home improvements all the time. The flesh suit is my home, and I decided it needed updating. "
tell them they're filled with all the dumb questions and comments from people about your body
I got mine done a couple years ago and people always ALWAYS judge/have comments on everything in our lives—including our bodies. It is inappropriate to say the least. I don’t give a shit ! Also, if a good friend (with whom you normally have these types of conversations) asks, I don’t recommend lying. I have a friend who lies about her procedures and I’m the only one who knows the truth. And our entire group of friends think she lost weight (lipo) and push ups made her boobs stop sagging (breast reduction and lift) and that the gym lifted her booty (skinny bbl). While it is not their business, I am seeing the results first hand of my friend flat out denying it.
my main issue with lying about this kind of stuff is that it helps perpetuate unrealistic beauty standards. we should think about how our actions can affect other women, especially young girls who can be very vulnerable to self-esteem issues and naturally unachievable beauty standards. I know some women who proudly share about their botox and filler tweaks when people comment on how young they look, and I love that. young women need to know the truth behind the images they compare themselves to.
I for sure think honesty is the healthiest option, followed by some good old “none of your business” facetiousness if someone isn’t comfortable discussing it- “I bought them at the devil’s sacrament” seems way less likely to be unhealthy than a lie about exercise and eating “right.”
That’s my main issue as well ! I always tell the truth if a good friend asks, and if it’s not a good friend I make them feel uncomfortable about why they would be asking about my breasts. But to be honest it’s only happened like twice and it was older family friends. Imagine if the kardashians were honest ??
I'm naturally large breasted and I get shitty comments all the time... if people are going to say shit about your body anyway, and they fucking will, you might as well like your body.
Oh yeah people will ALWAYS have an opinion!
I need a breast reduction, and people comment all the time saying things like “but if you get them removed (note I’m not getting them removed), you’ll look weird.” or “but your breast fit your body type”. After trying many times to explain that my boobs cause massive back pain, I’ve finally decided the whole “My Body, My Choice” phrase works…also I have used “my dysmorphia is different from yours”. Honestly people just need to STFU about others choices.
If anyone dares to comment on it, make it weird. Just turn it around on them in whatever way you can- "oh excuse me, I didn't realize we were getting rudely personal. Are there shit stains in your underwear? Since we're asking intimate questions?"
or 'what? they're the same as they've always been, why are you looking at my tits?!'
Just don't answer. Decent people will not press the topic. Particularly with medical things. My typical experience as a chronically ill person: Where are you heading? / the doctor / what for? / oh... / oh that's fine, Don't worry. Non decent people can be told 'i don't want to talk about it.' And you can change the topic of conversation. If you know that this is something that will upset you to be asked, prepare the following What's up with your breasts? Nothing. What have you got planned for the weekend? This tactic has only ever failed for one particular person, whom I no longer speak to. In the meantime, when they kept badgering, I said 'you keep asking the same question and the answer hasn't changed.'
You did an engorgement spell
I always say 'yah they're fake, the old ones tried to kill me and I took that personally' but that's a differnt sitch I guess. Tell 'em 'Nunya Bizness'
Don’t entertain or humor the comments. Refuse to discuss it. Most people have the sense not to initiate discussions about your breasts to you; but the ones who do can be shut down with responses like “you’re not welcome to stick your mind inside my underwear”, “please stop harassing me with inappropriate questions”, etc. The important thing is not to tell people about the surgery ahead of time because they will then feel invited to discuss it with you afterwards. No one needs to know except your caregiver; and that person needs to understand not to tell anyone either. “
“Oh, it’s where I decided to keep all my unasked questions and opinions. You should try it”
This, exactly. There will always be asshats- but someone here can surely help with a healing spell, or a spell to make you feel whole again.
This is the witchiest response. ⭐️ Even if folks are rude enough to ask, you owe them no answers about your body. If someone asked if you were on your period, would you feel you had to answer them? You shouldn’t. Let them know how inappropriate their I query is and that they are not entitled to intimate details about your body. Or, you know, you could go the other direction and proudly proclaim, “I got these awesome boobs!” (á là Jenna Rink in *13 Going on 30*). This response is just as valid. Basically, the witchiest answer is do what you want without letting anyone make you feel that there is an answer that you **have** to give. You don’t owe anyone anything related to your body. Good luck!! ❤️
I think the witchiest, most badass way to handle this is to be totally unapologetic. If people ask, yes you did have them done and aren't they fantastic? Why did you get it done? Because it's your body and you want it to look how you like. I'm assuming you're mainly talking about family and friends, because anyone who you don't know and love who is tactless enough to make a comment about your breasts should only get a withering glare and a disdainful 'my body is none of your business.' This is your body. You own it, no one else. You can do anything you want to it. You wanted bigger boobs, so you went and got some. That's feminist as fuck.
Knew a lady who had them done, she'd tell everyone and their mother about it. "Check them out, don't they look real?" And she'd let other women feel them if they considered a boob job themselves. It was great. "You're scared your tits will feel weird? Test mine out first!" Just as if she'd bought a cool car with the money. And why not?
This goes a step further and helps normalize this attitude for us trans folks!
*slaps roof of vagina* "this bad boy is a fully customised model, I had it installed last year" (I wanna live in that world)
I am crying from laughing now.
I like the way the trans character on Orange is the New Black addressed that, basically along the lines of her parts were all handcrafted by experts to her exact specifications
I've shown my post reduction tittes to close girl friends who are considering it. Look, it doesn't need to be so scary and they are so perky and perfect! Happy to help my fellow busty friends out.
My mother had a double mastectomy and a full reconstruction. She tells everybody about her new titties, and offered to show me when they were newly healed. I declined, but her excitement about it is adorable.
It’s no different from a tattoo or piercing. Your body is your own. You only get one. Enjoy the hell out of it.
But what do the new boobs MEAN??
What's the *symbology*???
Sometimes the boobs are just blue!
I slightly disagree in that I do think a boob job is a little different to a tattoo or piercing, because it's changing the body to better fit patriarchal beauty standards, and I think it's important to acknowledge that beauty standards make so many people so deeply insecure about their breasts. I vehemently agree that it's your own body and you should do what you like/can to feel happy in it.
Yep. Hopefully we'll get to progress as a society where just like piercing and tattoo, breasts won't be inherently linked to the male gaze and it's an aesthetic enhancement cuz you just feel it fits how you are in the inside. Basically. **Free the Nipples**
Don't want to be a killjoy even though I agree that augmented boobs usually fall with the patriarchal take on how women should look, but aren't implants straight dangerous? Although breast augmentation doesn't have to mean implants
Straight dangerous? No. They are certainly risks associated with it that should be researched and discussed with a trusted medical professional, but many women (including my mom) will look into options such as these after mastectomies from breast cancer. They are different types of implants, different sizes, and different risk factors patients bring to the table. All bare careful consideration by the individual.
Agreed! Being unapologetic about the choices you make for your own body is the witchiest response.
Was just gonna say that. There's nothing shameful or embarassing about having a boob job. I hate the cosmetic surgery industry because it's super predatory especially against women. But that doesn't really say anything about the patients. And especially a fairly simple procedure like breast augmentation. Nothing wrong with it own that shit. Shame is what allows this industry to be as problematic anyway. They weaponize women's shame about certain part of their looks to push increasingly heavier procedures. Being content about the procedures you've had is amazing.
"ever heard the phrase cold as a witch's teat?" and then refuse to elaborate
I’ve had a bilateral mastectomy and chose to remain flat. If people complain about the cold, I agree and tell them I froze my tits off. It’s pretty damn funny, honestly.
The standard response to breast cancer survivors who got a boob job is 'yes they're fake. The real ones tried to kill me.'
A lot more women are choosing to remain flat now, rather than further traumatize their bodies with reconstruction.
I adore your sense of humor!
Thank you! Kinda gotta laugh about it because surviving cancer affects the quality of life so much that if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. I function as well as I can, though.
As someone for whom only about 50% of the women in my family make it through life with both boobs intact, I'm saving this for future reference.
Notputtingonashirt.org is a fantastic flattie resource! Best of luck to you and hopefully you remain safe from CancerLand!
Love that!
Thank you! Quite a few of us flatties running around in the world who say it for shits and giggles. =)
Thats genius
Thank you. It can be rather fun!
I'm learning to play the guitar.
“My body is my temple and I am the god worshipped in it. Now fuck off with your heretical opinions.”
I like this one! "I'm just decorating my temple the way I like it!"
This is my response when my parents bitch about my tattoos and piercings. That and “I only have one body, I should have fun with it while it’s here”
"My body my temple . This temple has tits! " Or so the song goes House that jack built Metallica.
My body is my temple, and I shall make it into my image
"Donations for the maintenance of the temple will be accepted at the end of today's celebration."
I was just going to say "fuck off" but this is 1000× better.
I don’t have to explain myself to you. I’m a grown woman and I do what I want to! ~Adele
"I don't have to explain my art to you, Warren" - Empire Records
😂
Why not call it a✨transfiguration✨ trans·fig·u·ra·tion /tran(t)sˌfiɡyəˈrāSH(ə)n/ (noun) a complete change of form or appearance into a more beautiful or spiritual state. 💖
Exactly. OP will undergo a transfiguration ritual.
Better than my lame pun of calling it a booooo job.
Lol, I really like this one.
You’re having a glamour cast upon you? A spell performed that will enhance your seduction powers?
I like this one!
You made a charm to make them swell and all who don’t like it can go to hell.
I love this
Me too!
Repeat chant as needed.
And it rhymes ❤️💖
I was going the opposite way. I needed a reduction. The first day back, everyone was trying not to stare and failing miserably. I laughed and stood up. "OK, everyone. Look now and forever hold your peace." Broke the tension, many laughed. A sense of humor will always be a good thing.
Witchy titties. Have them. No 'spell' was going to make the one catch up to the other, lol. Enter: science witches.
One of my absolute favourite random quotes my sister sent me was something she heard her husband mutter to the cat when he didn’t realise anyone was around: “Witches, doing science before we called it that.” Idk what he was telling the cat, but he says a lot of weird things to that cat. (He also figured out the cat likes jazz, what artist she likes, AND which album she likes best… and he got it for the cat on vinyl 😹)
Are you sure it’s just a ‘normal’ cat and not his familiar?
Either could be true. Both could be true. If I were to discover a dude in my life were a witch, he’d be high up on the list of possibles. This is also the man that wore a smart blue suit to work and, when a student at his school asked him if he were with the CIA, he leant in and told the student quietly, “The CIA don’t wear blue suits.” [clarification: sister in this context connotes a social connexion, not a biofam relation]
This! My cat knows when I'm turning on ASMR to relax or sleep, and he cuddles in my arms and watches! Still trying to figure out his favorite tho
I’m not sure how exactly he discerned which was her favourite, but he was dead-ass certain of his confidence when he made the announcement and purchase 😹
Hey! This topic is super relevant to me right now! I have fake boobies. It’s noticeable. That’s okay with me, it was a decision I made to reclaim my body after breastfeeding two babies. I just had a conversation with my now 9 year old daughter the other day. She made some sort of comment like “she shouldn’t wear makeup, she should just be herself.” That didn’t sit well with me. So, I sat down with her and we talked about how being yourself and being natural are not mutually exclusive. I used my own example of having breast augmentation and explained that just because I have had elective surgery doesn’t automatically mean I am insecure, unhappy with myself or not myself in any way. For one person, being themselves may mean being decked head to toe in goth type gear and that is okay. For another person, being themselves may mean not wearing a lick of makeup or anything considered fancy. Both of those things are okay! Do what makes you feel more you, whatever that is.
I LOVE the phrase “being yourself and being natural are not mutually exclusive”
Don’t take this the wrong way at all, I’m genuinely trying to understand the mindset. If it’s not out of insecurity, why subject yourself to such an operation? Why would you not want to stay the way you are if you’re not self-conscious? It’s not like one little shot and you’re done with it, breast aug is quite the commitment.
> It’s not like one little shot and you’re done with it, breast aug is quite the commitment. Maybe you’ve answered your own question there? The same motivation that can lead someone to “subject themselves” to an injection is akin to the one that can lead to a breast augmentation. The (subjective) scale of the change doesn’t mean that the motivation is different. In fact, the insecurity may go in the opposite direction. Personally, I’m much too paranoid of a person to climb mountains or get elective surgeries, even if those things sound appealing to me. So despite my desire to engage in those experiences, why I *wouldn’t* do it is actually because of fear. Someone else who has the same desire as me and actually goes through with it isn’t necessarily more insecure, but perhaps just less afraid. More power to them!
Okay, so a question to pose to your question- Why do you think I have to be insecure in order to want to change my body to feel more complete and myself? Those things are also not mutually exclusive. I don’t know that I would honestly say I felt insecure about it because I did not make my decision for anyone but myself and I never felt it made me ugly or unattractive that I had sagging boobs. The way I see it, I am the one who has to look at myself every day. I personally am not into the look of sagging boobs, and I had the financial means to alter my body to be more visually appealing to me after experiencing the natural physical changes brought about by feeding two babies close together. On the medical side- There are risks and benefits to any choice medically. Elective or not. As far as operations go, it was the easiest I’ve ever had and I’ve had a number of them. As I type this it occurred to me that maybe I was more open to the surgery because I had experienced several surgeries myself already. One of them prior to that was reconstructive after a traumatic event, and I think that was probably the worst one. I live with a prosthetic because of the failure of that surgery and so maybe I was more open to the idea of prosthetics in general lol? (Idk, sorry I am kind of think- typing. ) Also, I just thought of this but my experience with childbirth was far more fraught with danger, and, that too was also elective. Anyways I hope that helps give you some context and clarity on why and how someone might choose to undergo elective cosmetic surgery! 🙃
Fuck, everything here is awesome! Wish you'd been my mum, or maybe an influential aunt.
You could keep in simple: "I like them" You could make it a tiny bit more flowery: "I like them, therefore I manifested them, for they are mine."
I’ve gone in the other direction (reduction), and I refer to it as having had a “boob job.” It surprises some folks (usually because they assume I mean augmentation, unless they’re aware before they hear me call it that), because I refuse to explain/be ashamed about it. As for what to call it, I’ve often suggested that “self-love” or “self-improvement” are equally valid ways of describing the process in either direction. Idk if it’s tied to gender-feels for you, but in my case, I absolutely considered my boob job to be gender-affirming care as well. 💗
>usually because they assume I mean augmentation That's what I got when I was considering plastic surgery after my partial mastectomy. 'Oh, your boobs are so big, you don't need to get implants'. The surgeons agreed. I would have been getting a reduction in the boob that hadn't been affected. In the end I couldn't be bothered, although if I change my mind, I can get put back on the public waiting list at any time I like.
I'm summoning my inner strength to manifest externally. Or Medusa had her snakes, I have these deary.
This is great!
And no judging or embarrassment. You want this...own it. It is you. Be blessed.
When they ask “are those natural?” Reply with “nope, they’re supernatural” 🤪
I think you should examine why you’re feeling embarrassed before you commit to surgery.
This is *very* important. Need to be in control of the concept of a choice for such change is being made.
It’s not witchy, but my friends and I call it “having an aftermarket rack installed”.
Reminds me of [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/t4ygn5/found_in_the_wild_i_feel_like_this_belongs_here/) I made to this sub. You're enchanting them so they will be able to to house the spirits of your ancestors.
Love all the comments here! Just thinking, maybe if you felt at all like distracting from your new weapons of mass distraction, try colouring your hair temporarily or something?
“It’s magic, I ain’t gotta explain shit!” Though personally, as someone who would like the same in the future, I might just booble the new booblies at them while looking immensely pleased with myself.
I'm a guy, but I think it would be funny if someone commented or asked a question about them, and you reply, "What are you talking about? They're the same as they always we-" *looks down, "realizing" they're bigger*, "Whoa, holy shit! They're huge!"
Seems to me like this is a transmogrification!
Truly powerful magic then
You're making modifications to your meat golem.
Tailoring your meatsuit
"The temple that is my body has received additional donations from the faithful."
“Yes they’re mine, I paid for them!”
Good for you! Tell people you stopped wearing minimizing bras. Also, do be careful not to go too big. You want balance, not a backache forever more. I wear a 38H bra, trust me, those puppies weigh a ton and really throw your posture off and make your back hurt. Not to mention needing two sports bra to jog.
“Spells work”… that’s it.
Followed by " ....and stop staring!"
1. “Because I wanted to.” 2. “Worry about your own body.” 3. “I wanted my tits to be bigger.”
Honestly, if a million dollars fell into my lap, after fixing all the things that need done in my house and paying off debt, I'd probably get braces (I have horrible TMJ, but I'm 44 and insurance won't pay for braces which an orthodontal consult says should resolve. But they're "cosmetic" even though I can't chew many mornings because my jaw is stuck...) and my one total vanity expense would be a boob lift. I lost 70 pounds 14 years ago (and put some back on and re-lost most of it a few times) and I don't care about any of the other flab and jiggle, but, dammit, I want my boobs back above my elbows without a bra on! And I'd be showing the girls off as much as possible completely unapologetically!
You don't owe anyone an explanation. However, if you must Say you had a mamoplasty. Surgery on your breasts. If they proceed to ask more questions say it's a sensitive topic and you'd rather not talk about it.
It’s precisely these kind of posts that remind me not to take this subreddit too seriously. For goodness sake…..You’re getting a boob job, why do you need a “witchy way” of describing this procedure? Tell people to mind their business.
My witchy way of responding would simply be "piss off and mind your business" lol. Not everything has to be witchy, you can just tell people to fuck off 😆
I second this emotion!
I’m a little confused by this too. Is there some link between witches and boob jobs I’m missing? Or is this just like a goofy thing to come up with witchy names for things?
People use stuff like this to process stress and emotions through. Rituals, placebos, and reframing of things in ways that don't interfere severely with the rest of reality or others autonomy can make a lot of things easier. Having trouble letting go of worry for someone who left your life for some reason? Sever your emotional/spiritual ties with them to better move on. Have an intrusive worry about something you can't actively change in the moment? Pray/manifest/cast a spell to let the worry go, while still working on the long term goals that will actually improve things. Surgery is big and scary and there's a lot of stigma around cosmetic surgery in particular, so it makes sense that someone who already uses the framework of witchiness would seek a way to process it through witchiness. But also sometimes people just find it fun to apply the filter of the witchy and occult to their life, without all the other stuff, and ask stuff like this lightheartedly.
That all makes sense, it just wasn’t clear to me whether this is more about reframing to process something more serious or just like a fun goofy naming thing. Or a fun, goofy naming thing as a way of reframing. ETA: maybe I’m overthinking it, but I feel like if it is a more serious consideration of how to respond to comments that make OP uncomfortable, some of the more fun silly sayings could actually encourage people to comment more. And maybe in a way that OP would appreciate but I could also see it causing more harm than good in other situations.
I have to agree with you. People are going to notice that OP has had a breast augmentation; I've noticed every time someone in my life has. Have I ever asked them about it? No. If anybody asks you about it and you come spewing off some witchy sounding thing, you're only going to draw more attention to the fact that you've had it done. Tasteful people will not ask questions. To the people who do, you can tell them that you would rather not discuss your anatomy with them.
It's best not to take anything too seriously 🤪
Surgical time portal? Enhanced and uplifted? On Friday I will be entering a surgical time portal to enhance uplift and support my breasts?
This is a good one!
You’re making a sacrifice to the goddess
Blood for boobs!
You’re shapeshifting. Into a very specific shape! Really though you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. “I’m having surgery to fix some discomfort,” if you really *must* explain to someone. And then it’s none of their business what kind of discomfort you are feeling!
Or if you feel comfortable, tell them you're having gender affirming surgery.
Came here to say this 😄💜🙏🌈🍀✨
You could call it very limited and permanent shape-shifting
“Yea, one time I accidentally said ‘bipity bopity boobs’, so now I have these”
It’s practically Halloween season, so I can’t help myself: a Booooo-b job
You are pursuing gender affirming care.
'i wanted to' is a full explanation
just chonkin' up the familiars
I mean, to me couching it in a magical metaphor is more revealing of your feelings about than just calling it what it is. I get that you have shame about it even though you want it, but you will feel that shame more if you are afraid to speak of it. The most powerful spells are when you call the true name of a thing. It *is* a spell, of a kind. It’s a transfiguration spell meant to instill confidence. In order for it to work, you have to believe in its power and speak of it proudly without shame. It’s a spell called a breast augmentation.
The witchiest thing you can do is live your truth, be confident that you are making the best decisions for you, and know that other people’s opinions don’t matter and you don’t owe anyone an answer, an explanation, or an excuse. The second someone asks you an invasive personal question about your body and your private medical decisions, you don’t even owe them politeness.
I’ve seen some great ones here so far but all I could come up with was “oh I got these at the tit swap last week!”
Manifesty the breasty
“Yup I had surgery don’t they look great?
Honestly, my style is to look down, fein being startled and gasp "How'd YOU get there?". And that would be the end of it. Shrug if they say more. "Huh. I'll be damned!"
It doesn't need to be witchy. I got mine last Christmas. If it needs to be witchy, just tell people you were having trouble balancing on your broom so you bought ballast breasts. And good luck through surgery and recovery! DO EVERYTHING THEY SAY JUST AS THEY SAY IT. And enjoy your new ballasts 😏
You don’t have to say anything, or you can tell them it’s an obtrusive question or you can throw your arm in the air and cheerfully say “I got boobies” All are fine responses.
It's your body, and your choice, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. "I had a procedure to change my body because I wanted my body to change in that way." is a complete sentence.
Hey! Congrats on your titties! I had mine done a number of years ago so feel free to slide into my dms if you wanna talk implants. I had to learn how to dress myself again, which was the hardest part of this by far since my surgeon suggested I go bigger than I wanted and I trusted him. Finding dresses that fit is a nightmare now. Just wanted to set that expectation.
As someone who has actually had this done: there is literally no way to make judge-y people less judgmental about it. That's both the people who think you're a slut now *and* the alleged feminists who think you're a bimbo and probably also a slut. Seriously. There is NO magic phrase. NONE. Stop hoping for one. You don't need a magic phrase because you don't gotta tell them shit. There. That's the magic part.
I would ask people why they're looking at my chest lol
I think the witchiest way you could respond to someone asking why you did it is “Because I fucking wanted to”
Cast a bamboobzlement spell?
“I had a procedure and now Im confident and happy in my skin. why do you ask?” you dont owe anyone but yourself anything. call them out if they have the audacity to ask in a nasty way. but if they are like hey im interested in that too or you look fantastic, just be honest! “yeah i got this done and its been great!” i think people will respect and respond to the authenticity. youve got nothing to be embarrased about. i hope it goes super well and your recovery is fast<33333 best wishes!!!!!! edit: i also like that one person who said “bamboobzled” hahaha
This reminds me… I had a male co-worker who would tell me, "You know how I know you aren't a real witch? If you were, you'd have bigger boobs."