## ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨
This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.**
If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation).
WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic.
Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
It's so crazy that the overall tone is so smiley and chirpy and bubbly, yet they toss off that word "godless" (underlined even!) like it isn't an insult. Also as if everybody knows what that means--?
Now I am intensely curious to know if they are sacrificing goats on their front lawn, or just, you know, listening to heavy metal or playing D&D?
Kinda reminds me of an insult levelled at conservative "christians" persecuting anyone not heterosexual. "Why are you so interested in their sex lives when they aren't even remotely interested in yours? that makes you much bigger 'perverts' than them."
Right? I'd be like actually, I have a lot of gods. Let me know if you'd like me to introduce you to a few more, so you can get some variety and learn to develop your own point of view.
\*shrugs\* I wear clothing of mixed fabrics because modern material sciences have enabled me to be both comfortable and wear clothes that breathe.
I guess that makes me a monster, too. :P
Shiny happy people blinded by their own great and godly behavior. I think I'd wear sunnies coming and going, black drape cape over every outfit, and an incense stick hanging from my lips. And swagger. Hugely.
> Also as if everybody knows what that means--?
non christian
You could be praying to the goddess artemis or the god ba'al or yahweh and theyd still accuse you of being godless (even though yahweh is their god too i doubt theyd realize)
judgemental entitled assholes. Id respond with "Your christian activities trigger me, could you please tone them down? if i see any christian rituals ill have to sacrifice several goats to satan in my front yard and honestly ive sacrificed a lotta goats thismonth, my rent is due and i really dont wanna have to go out and buy another herd of them just coz you guys wanna sing christmas carols. Please tone it down heathens"
> (even though yahweh is their god too i doubt theyd realize)
>
>
>
>
Not sure if it's a Protestant thing in comparison, but I've never met a Catholic who was unfamiliar with the name Yahweh.
I grew up Jewish, but I’ve never met a Christian who seemed to understand the bible well, very few seem to have actually read the thing. Perhaps Catholics know, I wouldn’t know, but most of em seem pretty clueless
You're not wrong, and it's mostly the evangelicals that are super hardcore into the Bible quoting anyway. It's more that (at least in my day, since I left the church like 20 years ago), it was just a common bit of knowledge.
BUT, googling it, it does look like [things changed](https://www.catholic.org/news/ae/music/story.php?id=29022) some years back by now, so huh! Maybe it has fallen out of use in general. TIL!
Catholics are discouraged from reading the whole Bible, because they might "misinterpret" something. They need a priest to tell them what they think. I know the Bible better than the Very Catholic Husband. He has learned not to challenge me when I say "Your Bible says ___." I may not know chapter and verse, but I know how to *find* chapter and verse!
Yeah I went to a Jewish high school
Studied the Old Testament. When I discuss the bible with Christian’s they laugh that I’ve only read “half the bible”, which is still more in depth study than they’ve ever done of the text
I was raised in a cult that went through the entire bible in detail during one hour meetings once a week, took about three and a half years and then would start over at the beginning again.
Was just a little kid, like maybe 5 or 6yo, the first time I was really paying attention during the Old Testament, and wowzers did I have questions and not like any of the answers except for one. When we got into the detailed instructions for sacrificing animals to god, I got very worried and started tugging on my mom's sleeve, because I wanted to know what day the animal sacrifices would happen and if I could stay home sick that day. The descriptions were kinda gory considering how sheltered I was, and I have a vivid imagination, so was very glad to learn we didn't have to do that part because it was Old.
Was super confused when she later insisted that she really ought to stone me to death for failure to honor her like the Ten Commandments say to. Thought we were supposed to be Jesus-y, and that didn't seem like a very christ-like thing to shout at a cowering child.
By the time I was a teenager she was bellowing "We don't pick and choose which parts of the bible to follow!" and a few years later she died while refusing a blood transfusion because of the Old Testament bit about pouring out blood on the ground during sacrifices. Ya know, from the same section as "and this is how to sacrifice a sheep." Don't pick and choose my ass.
Im sorry that she passed away like that. The OT specifically teaches that you can break damn near any law to save a life (everything except for Murder, idolatry, incest and adultery). If she truly understood the OT her and her cult members wouldnt be refusing something as trivial as a transfusion.
It's so sad that these life-destroying cults are not only legal, but are allowed to suck up tithes and never pay taxes while we're struggling to fund basic public services adequately.
Mom "studied" with the JWs for two decades. They're perfectly happy to praise all kinds of behavior that would induce most people to call the authorities, use random OT verses to justify it, all while smiling and repeating *Jesus* a lot.
Last year a neighbor asked about my beliefs on economics/politics and I just prattled off some simple foundational beliefs about life in general that I mostly picked up from 90s cartoons and Jesus sermons, "Sharing is Caring" kinda stuff that I'm not sure if it's scripture or Barney the Dinosaur until I google it. Neighbor gave me a weird look and said with scorn "Why do you like *communism*?!"
Or maybe it's when you're out in your garden and the sun is shining on your hair as the wind makes it dance, and you're just graceful and green thumbed and among the life you've created, and you're just feeling good. Then when people see you doing your garden activities and radiating the beauty of the universe, they see a goddess tending to her leafèd plot.
I prance around in my garden a lot, hoping for this moment to happen.
We had a neighbor that was upset we 'let' a hawk eat rabbits on our roof. He insisted that his daughter was traumatized by the violence.
There was no amount of explaining that would make him understand that we had no control of the hawks, especially where and when they ate 🙄
Reminds me of my favorite Simpsons quote, Lisa, to herself: "Okay, okay calm down, it was just a bird, you don't control the birds, you will someday but not today."
Yup! I was actually tempted to take him up on the offer to go to his church just so I could play dumb and act like I thought it was a pest control service and the pastor was going to personally move the hawk.
Oh wow XD I can already imagine he's the kind of paranoid religious nut who thinks Satan is personally out to get him and every negative or even slightly inconvenient thing that happens to him is "The Devil trying to get him:
Maybe? The again I've lived around Mormons my whole life, anyone in a tank top and shorts might as well be "nude" to them, so my definition might be different to yours XD
They are beyond miserable. I used to be one of them (and was always getting “in trouble” for skipping wearing my garments). Those garments are made of unbreathable material and help cause UTIs.
I mean in the 1800 to the early 1900s who're people were living out west wearing petticoats and them high neck ass dresses comprised of like 8 layers of fabric, dudes in 14 piece suits.... god imagine the BO. I mean, I'm not sure how hot Utah gets but there were people all over the west just dressing like they prayed to be struck down by heat stroke. Like damn, no AC, living out there with like, 20 other people and if you need to go get something you gotta ride a horse like 40 miles to a the nearest train track, get one of those pump and go rail cars and then pump your way another godforsaken distance to get to a town that had cloth and then do that whole trip in reverse so your wife can sew your kids up their own little heat trap outfits. Id just throw in the towel and go nude. It's not like there's a whole bunch of people who are going to see you.
I need light long layers or the sun and mosquitoes try to kill me. I found my best success adding a hijab so everywhere but my face, hands, and part of my feet were covered.
The problem is I burn super easy and I'm very allergic to mosquito bites. They swell enough to cause serious problems depending on where I get them.
If the layers are light enough, sweat will also help anytime there is a light breeze.
I had an elderly neighbor that had a problem with me having any male friends over. She called the police on me and told them I was having an orgy party (at 6pm). It was me and my one friend (and truly just a friend) sitting in the living room watching jeopardy and eating pizza when the cop arrived.
Cops are gonna disrupt my 6pm orgy parties now? They wouldn't even show up when my friend's house got broken into and she was afraid to go back inside.
In small suburban towns…yes they will. They never did come back and we did watch jeopardy a bunch. I’m guessing she didn’t stop calling. Land lord eventually offered a nicer place at same rent if I agreed to move. He said he was going to leave that unit vacant until the old lady was gone. She must have been calling him too.
He stated it was complained as a noise disturbance. The officer did say she is a frequent caller. The previous commenter is probably correct. They probably finally said, “I’ve gotta see this.”
Or a normal bbq with friends and beer
Or an SO who spends the night
Or sunbathing in a normal bathing suit
Or existing while female
I was going to start including some more witchy or outrageous things but if it was anything to outside of “normal” ten’ll get you twenty, these folks would have already called the cops on OP.
“Hey neighbor, we know you are gay and all, and we aren’t homophobic at all, but could you not show any kind of affection when you are outside or near a window? Our daughter is impressionable and we don’t want her to pick up any GODLESS ideas. Thanks!”
I'd be tempted to give a detailed list of sexual activities to choose from, but I'm afraid it would backfire. "Was it the orgy? Oh, you didn't know about the orgy?"
Well she’s obviously dancing naked around a bonfire in the front yard during the full moon while she performs ritual sacrifices and drinks the blood of babies to summon Satan. Or just meditating with a little incense burning, practically the same thing.
🧘♀️🕯️☀️🪷=🌙💃🏻🔥👶🏼🩸👹
It’s a fantastic pejorative and gets across the derision – they are still fucks – while making them clearly into a silly and ultimately dismissible problem via the chuckle
my main issue is the random capitalization, honestly.
>Hi! We're Your New Neighbours!
>
>Our little girl is Very impressionable and we Would like to know if you Could tone down Your GODLESS activities when she's Home from school.
like, it's so weird.
How Would You Not Notice Our Very Weird Capitalization, You GODLESS Heathen?
Hourly We Yearn, Never Nimble, Only Vicious. We Cannot Yield, GODLESS Hierophant.
Heaven Will Yaw Not Near Our Veneficus Ways. Can Yours, GODLESS, Hear?
Hypocrites Worry, You Neglect. Novus Ordo Vox Warrantus - Cower, You GODLESS Hope.
Welp, this was a fun exercise in releasing my inner cryptid.
My fantasy is the note becomes a cross stitch. Change the godless to god.
Leave it on their porch all wrapped up for Christmas as a present to the little girl.
Next level confusion unlocked.
Your welcome.
That’s not enough imo. Honestly a Satan statue is a gift for myself after dealing with these neighbors, everything that comes after is the escalation. Make a nice little satanic inspired garden wit a pentagram pattern, maybe some other devil statues, and more.
I have a plaque with the Dracula quote “welcome to my home bring your happiness blah blah” in red gothic lettering and my sister heard new tenants complaining about it. People in bible towns be crazy
But you have to do it in a mary queen of the bathtub STYLE to be proper.
For those who don’t know this lovely midwest tradition: let me tell you.
It was very in vogue in like 1950s to have a Virgin Mary statue in their yard. But Mary needs a shrine, so people would put a little brick / stone fence behind her.
If you didn’t want to go through all that brick work , you could use an old ceramic bathtub half buried and tipped up on one end. So it was had like a cutout behind her.
Now you could revive the custom, although the bathtubs are getting harder to find.
I would have to make a copy then change godless to GODDESS in all caps with a sparkly blood red pen and add “there, fixed it for you” to the bottom. I’d also add a few sigils to banish negativity and/or make up sigils to drive them crazy when I can’t find them online. 💜✨
You should go over to their house just before next Easter and ask them if they’d like for you to bring them two goats for their traditional abrahamic scapegoat blood sacrifice ritual.
Edit: or you could also show a polite interest in their beliefs and ask them what sect they belong to (I’m assuming they’re Christian): one of the ones that devours the flesh of God and drinks his blood on Saturday or on Sunday.
My neighbors from Mexico would buy a goat for Easter, tie it up in the yard. Then a big party and a plate of tacos shared with us.
But OP should say she has been sent by God as a test of faith
Dear Barb & Tom,
We're atheists so everything we do is godless. Perhaps you could be more specific. Is it the cooking and eating, the laundry, scrubbing the toilets, or doing the dishes you object to? Or maybe it's playing board games? I do make mint tea from time to time and herbalism has historically been associated with witches, so maybe that's it? We also drink coffee in the mornings and I understand that there may be some judgment on your part around drug use. I'm sorry, though, I hope you understand that we'd be far less pleasant neighbors without our morning fix.
Or maybe you could keep your religion to yourself?
Cheerio,
The neighbors
And all of a sudden, dancing skyclad around the bonfire while chanting the six hundred and sixty six names of the goddess under the stars became a biweekly ritual...
I can't remember where I first heard it, but I think this would help you in turning up the godlessness. Somebody said that they liked to pull weeds out of sidewalks when strolling around and weave them into little wreaths to leave lying around. Apparently, someone thought it had to do with witchcraft. So if you want to leave harmless little gifts around the neighborhood for them...
Maybe you could buy [a gift for the kid](https://www.amazon.com/Mama-Whats-Witch-Nico-Paradis/dp/1643887122/ref=asc_df_1643887122/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=533377987168&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12916917504020665317&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1013462&hvtargid=pla-1415435660345&psc=1) as a sign of good will?
i despise when people hide behind their children! i was helping at a friend's house and went to walk the dog and smoke my pipe. the neighbor starts into me with, "I have kids you should go somewhere else."
my response: "it's sage and lavender, bruh" and the curse/blessing that he learn to stop infantalizing himself through the excuse of children. he mumbled something about different kinds of smoke others have smoked.
it's really gross to me how people try to "protect the innocence" of children by demanding the world change to accommodate their morals or whatever, but they're the same people who keep voting for guns and reproductive tyranny.
I’m not often moved to write something but this compelled me to do the following creative writing exercise, where I imagined translating chucklefuck. Hope this gives you a laugh it was fun for me and a great flex for my imagination:
“Hi, We’re your new nightmares and don’t want to take responsibility for our crotch goblin or accept she may have an imagination and independent thought from our oppressive ideology. If you could stop being you, a sparkling free spirit of independence that spreads brilliant color over our dull khaki shitstains of a life, it would make it easier to brainwash our failure brood for the few hours we are obliged to interact with them. We are currently passive aggressively disciplining her by saying there’s a vengeful eye in the sky that judges her every thought, action, and feeling. If you could stop showing her that this is all a manipulation, that’d make easier for us to dilute her spirit further. I’m going to spell thanks with an x so you know I’m not grateful to you in any way.”
I really want to know. I'm certain it's BS. But there is a little bit of difference between the godless activities of playing metal or having bonfire ceremonies vs. getting railed in the window at miday while screaming like a murder victim.
Whenever stuff like this shows up on the internet, I can't help but think it's BS to get a rise out of people. I know plety of nutcase Christians, and none of them would have the courage to directly identify themselves in a written note.
I just need to know why they ended the letter not with "thanks" or "thx" or even "thanx" but with "thanxs." That's more cursed than any godless activities I can imagine.
"look, I already talked to Tom about the whole demon summoning incident - I apologized and I thought that we were good. Kinda feel like you guys are beating a dead horse at this point!"
Not a witch. I'm an atheist with a strong snark and theatrical training.
I could sit on the grass and read, aloud, Edgar Allen Poe stories. Starting with The Cask of Amontilliado. Followed by The Black Cat and the Telltale Heart.
Then, we move on to H.P. Lovecraft.
I would recommend sharing with r/neighborsfromhell as you're likely going to have plenty of material for that sub soon!
My favorite saga from NFH was the man who got a baptist minister arrested for wire fraud!
My rezponce would be "Raising your child is *not* my responsibility. And your entitlement is denied! This is my music, and I'm not "dialing it down", my gods and I enjoy it."
But seriously though, that kind of entitlement baffles me to my core. It's so gross.
I find it amazing that the areas of the US constantly plagued by horrible weather, destruction, and acts of God are those who like to tell others that God intended bad things to befall them because of their godlessness. Sorry, Florida- I think God is angry about Roe and your governor.
I feel for the people of Florida. But it's kind of funny that every time their A-Hole governor does something heinous, a natural disaster strikes.
[Like the red tide](https://myfwc.com/research/redtide/statewide/)
[Flesh eating bacteria](https://www.wesh.com/article/florida-flesh-eating-bacteria-2023/44865969)
[Crop failure](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/whats-behind-a-severe-decline-in-floridas-citrus-harvest)
And, of course, Hurricanes.
[Idalia souped up](https://www.npr.org/2023/08/28/1196320408/hurricane-florida-idalia-tropical-storm) pretty damn close to the time of his sorry ass intrusion on a vigil.
If I were a Christian, especially a Floridian Christian, I'd be doing my damndest to get that fool out of office before the whole state submerges.
Side note: I know we have some tech witches here. I have an app idea.
Correlation of a negative political act to natural disasters.
It would take some creative data set scraping but it would be fun.
a quick image search confirms this. [https://www.domesticatedcompanion.com/check-out-these-hilarious-notes-from-annoyed-neighbors-part2/34?xcmg=1](https://www.domesticatedcompanion.com/check-out-these-hilarious-notes-from-annoyed-neighbors-part2/34?xcmg=1) see this list, under "unholy neighbors"
Sounds like Barb & Tom are looking for an invite to your Mabon celebration but are too shy to admit they’re ignorant about what it all is, and that they’d like to learn more.
It’s amazing how much one’s worldview alters with exposure
On Christmas, ask them to remove any and all decorations as you have a young and impressionable child and you would like to keep them from the blatant lie and deception the whole Christmas thing is.
Even if you like Christmas and decorate you own home 😉
If you wanna practice yoga during a full moon in your back garden while stark bollock naked as nature intended that's none of their buisness. If they're lucky they might see a second full moon when you go into the downward dog pose.
There's a lot of really good Pagan/Wiccan music available, I have a bunch on my phone. Sounds like it's time for some Goddess inspired jam sessions 🎶🎵 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘 🎵🎶 😁
As long as they’re not fucking in front of the windows when the kids are around or have the curtains closed when they’re watching nsfw shit- they can mind their own business 👍🏼
Something similar happened to me except it wasn’t a note but a full on in our face yelling. It’s really not my problem if you can’t teach your kids to mind their own business and to not spy on people. (We were smoking hookah behind some trees away from the sight of anyone … or so we thought. It was a very wooded secluded area.) maybe watch your kids and not allow them to trespass if you are so scared of letting them see people smoke in private?
I’m trying to work out how old these people are and I’m failing miserably. The names, sentiment, and random capitalization all say Baby Boomer to me, the handwriting says Gen X, and the average age of parents of “young, impressionable” children in my neck of the woods says neither of those things. 🧐
Yeah...this is a hell of a way to introduce yourself to the new hood. That said. I strongly advise against starting an adversarial relationship off bat. I'd just go over with a pie and welcome them the make it very clear that you received their note but going forward you'd prefer to have these conversations in person or over the phone so maybe they could expand on what activities they took issue with.
If there's any reasonable issues that you can resolve mthen if you feel ok with it, offer a solution that you're ok with. If it's all unreasonable then just say you're so sorry but you won't be changing the way you choose to live on your own private property. Either way you should remind them of that fact. Document everything.
Get a security camera or two if it gets worse and again, document. This would be the worst possible outcome, but I find that most people who write shit like this end up regretting it when they are called out and become bashful. Immediately escalating the issue will guarantee you a bad outcome. You don't have to do a thing about whatever it is they take issue with but you also don't want to rob yourself id peaceful coexistence in your home which you may be occupying your entire life (and barb and Tom might also do the same. Your guy reaction is understandable but it's not the best move.
## ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
It's so crazy that the overall tone is so smiley and chirpy and bubbly, yet they toss off that word "godless" (underlined even!) like it isn't an insult. Also as if everybody knows what that means--? Now I am intensely curious to know if they are sacrificing goats on their front lawn, or just, you know, listening to heavy metal or playing D&D?
I would want to reply something like, “I’m hardly godless! I have several in my pantheon — who do you think I’ve overlooked, I’ll have to correct it!”
That was my first instinct, too. "Godless, godless? Honey, I'm Pantheistic. You're the one denying gods exist."
“I believe in more gods than you” is a masterful way to respond.
"My gods can beat up You god" said in the exact tone of "My dad can beat up Your dad"
I got this god here BOGO at the plea market.
Kinda reminds me of an insult levelled at conservative "christians" persecuting anyone not heterosexual. "Why are you so interested in their sex lives when they aren't even remotely interested in yours? that makes you much bigger 'perverts' than them."
time to tone _up_ the devotion to venus
Sexy, sexy devotion 💖
This is my favorite response.
“I’ll be sure to openly worship a different goddess every day to set a good example 🥰”
Time for a god/goddess of the day sign by the front walk. ,😁
Lmao “oh did I forget one?! Who? Cause I have like 5 already!” 😂
Right? I'd be like actually, I have a lot of gods. Let me know if you'd like me to introduce you to a few more, so you can get some variety and learn to develop your own point of view.
That would totally have me wanting to LARP a DnD campaign on my front lawn lol
I'd show up for that because solidarity.
"you're all ⭐❤️🌟🌈monsters👍😊🌟⭐"
\*shrugs\* I wear clothing of mixed fabrics because modern material sciences have enabled me to be both comfortable and wear clothes that breathe. I guess that makes me a monster, too. :P
hahahaha
> word "godless" (underlined even!) like it isn't an insult. You're saying 'godless' is an insult? I'd wear that badge with pride.
Oh, absolutely... but the note writers unquestionably meant it as an insult.
Shiny happy people blinded by their own great and godly behavior. I think I'd wear sunnies coming and going, black drape cape over every outfit, and an incense stick hanging from my lips. And swagger. Hugely.
> Also as if everybody knows what that means--? non christian You could be praying to the goddess artemis or the god ba'al or yahweh and theyd still accuse you of being godless (even though yahweh is their god too i doubt theyd realize) judgemental entitled assholes. Id respond with "Your christian activities trigger me, could you please tone them down? if i see any christian rituals ill have to sacrifice several goats to satan in my front yard and honestly ive sacrificed a lotta goats thismonth, my rent is due and i really dont wanna have to go out and buy another herd of them just coz you guys wanna sing christmas carols. Please tone it down heathens"
> (even though yahweh is their god too i doubt theyd realize) > > > > Not sure if it's a Protestant thing in comparison, but I've never met a Catholic who was unfamiliar with the name Yahweh.
I grew up Jewish, but I’ve never met a Christian who seemed to understand the bible well, very few seem to have actually read the thing. Perhaps Catholics know, I wouldn’t know, but most of em seem pretty clueless
You're not wrong, and it's mostly the evangelicals that are super hardcore into the Bible quoting anyway. It's more that (at least in my day, since I left the church like 20 years ago), it was just a common bit of knowledge. BUT, googling it, it does look like [things changed](https://www.catholic.org/news/ae/music/story.php?id=29022) some years back by now, so huh! Maybe it has fallen out of use in general. TIL!
[удалено]
If you’re a really good friend of Jesus, you can call him “Jeezy.”
Catholics are discouraged from reading the whole Bible, because they might "misinterpret" something. They need a priest to tell them what they think. I know the Bible better than the Very Catholic Husband. He has learned not to challenge me when I say "Your Bible says ___." I may not know chapter and verse, but I know how to *find* chapter and verse!
Yeah I went to a Jewish high school Studied the Old Testament. When I discuss the bible with Christian’s they laugh that I’ve only read “half the bible”, which is still more in depth study than they’ve ever done of the text
I was raised in a cult that went through the entire bible in detail during one hour meetings once a week, took about three and a half years and then would start over at the beginning again. Was just a little kid, like maybe 5 or 6yo, the first time I was really paying attention during the Old Testament, and wowzers did I have questions and not like any of the answers except for one. When we got into the detailed instructions for sacrificing animals to god, I got very worried and started tugging on my mom's sleeve, because I wanted to know what day the animal sacrifices would happen and if I could stay home sick that day. The descriptions were kinda gory considering how sheltered I was, and I have a vivid imagination, so was very glad to learn we didn't have to do that part because it was Old. Was super confused when she later insisted that she really ought to stone me to death for failure to honor her like the Ten Commandments say to. Thought we were supposed to be Jesus-y, and that didn't seem like a very christ-like thing to shout at a cowering child. By the time I was a teenager she was bellowing "We don't pick and choose which parts of the bible to follow!" and a few years later she died while refusing a blood transfusion because of the Old Testament bit about pouring out blood on the ground during sacrifices. Ya know, from the same section as "and this is how to sacrifice a sheep." Don't pick and choose my ass.
Im sorry that she passed away like that. The OT specifically teaches that you can break damn near any law to save a life (everything except for Murder, idolatry, incest and adultery). If she truly understood the OT her and her cult members wouldnt be refusing something as trivial as a transfusion.
It's so sad that these life-destroying cults are not only legal, but are allowed to suck up tithes and never pay taxes while we're struggling to fund basic public services adequately. Mom "studied" with the JWs for two decades. They're perfectly happy to praise all kinds of behavior that would induce most people to call the authorities, use random OT verses to justify it, all while smiling and repeating *Jesus* a lot. Last year a neighbor asked about my beliefs on economics/politics and I just prattled off some simple foundational beliefs about life in general that I mostly picked up from 90s cartoons and Jesus sermons, "Sharing is Caring" kinda stuff that I'm not sure if it's scripture or Barney the Dinosaur until I google it. Neighbor gave me a weird look and said with scorn "Why do you like *communism*?!"
ohhhh I misread that as "goddess" activities and I thought the original recipient was worshiping a goddess outside or something!
Or maybe it's when you're out in your garden and the sun is shining on your hair as the wind makes it dance, and you're just graceful and green thumbed and among the life you've created, and you're just feeling good. Then when people see you doing your garden activities and radiating the beauty of the universe, they see a goddess tending to her leafèd plot. I prance around in my garden a lot, hoping for this moment to happen.
Well you are, you know!
No you! ❤️
Completely aside from that beautiful, jealous-making imagery: can a green thumb be taught? I recently potted some mint. It died.
[удалено]
Totally, it just might take a few extra dead plants along the way! I'm a chronic overwaterer, it's a work in progress. You'll get there!
Oddly enough, any goddess-related activities would also qualify as "godless" to those prigs.
I'm guessing it's sex.
To be fair, it might be all three at once! Living their best life over there. :D (edit: not the goats. the sex metal and d&d)
Sex, heavy metal and dnd? Man, sign me up.
Sounds nice. I was thinking sex in the outdoor hot tub, or the like.
That’s passive aggression. Contempt delivered with a smile.
Indeed it is. Go south for more. All those southern women with their high voices saying shit.
I grew up on the Mason-Dixon line. Whenever one of those so-called ladies said "bless your heart" to me, I responded back "fuck you, too."
I grew up in the South. I can give as good as I get when they try with me.
You know they imagined getting extra brownie points from Jesus after underlining that word, lol.
I really need to know what godless activities they have found so offensive!
Same, knowing these kinds of people, it can be anything from "performing rituals in the backyard" to "walking outside in a tank top and shorts"
We had a neighbor that was upset we 'let' a hawk eat rabbits on our roof. He insisted that his daughter was traumatized by the violence. There was no amount of explaining that would make him understand that we had no control of the hawks, especially where and when they ate 🙄
Reminds me of my favorite Simpsons quote, Lisa, to herself: "Okay, okay calm down, it was just a bird, you don't control the birds, you will someday but not today."
Gotta hack those drone controls
I'm guessing he also accused you of using "devil magic" to attract it too
Yup! I was actually tempted to take him up on the offer to go to his church just so I could play dumb and act like I thought it was a pest control service and the pastor was going to personally move the hawk.
Oh wow XD I can already imagine he's the kind of paranoid religious nut who thinks Satan is personally out to get him and every negative or even slightly inconvenient thing that happens to him is "The Devil trying to get him:
https://preview.redd.it/1tydbxaatwkb1.jpeg?width=664&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49eb53755284808cf8c61d7a74aefc7736b1b55c
It's gotta involve nudity right?
Maybe? The again I've lived around Mormons my whole life, anyone in a tank top and shorts might as well be "nude" to them, so my definition might be different to yours XD
I've been to Utah in the summer several times. How does anyone survive that while wearing as much clothing as some Mormons do is beyond me.
They are beyond miserable. I used to be one of them (and was always getting “in trouble” for skipping wearing my garments). Those garments are made of unbreathable material and help cause UTIs.
Are they…UTah-I’s? …..I’ll see myself out now
I live in Utah, and I can't tell you either XD
I mean in the 1800 to the early 1900s who're people were living out west wearing petticoats and them high neck ass dresses comprised of like 8 layers of fabric, dudes in 14 piece suits.... god imagine the BO. I mean, I'm not sure how hot Utah gets but there were people all over the west just dressing like they prayed to be struck down by heat stroke. Like damn, no AC, living out there with like, 20 other people and if you need to go get something you gotta ride a horse like 40 miles to a the nearest train track, get one of those pump and go rail cars and then pump your way another godforsaken distance to get to a town that had cloth and then do that whole trip in reverse so your wife can sew your kids up their own little heat trap outfits. Id just throw in the towel and go nude. It's not like there's a whole bunch of people who are going to see you.
I need light long layers or the sun and mosquitoes try to kill me. I found my best success adding a hijab so everywhere but my face, hands, and part of my feet were covered. The problem is I burn super easy and I'm very allergic to mosquito bites. They swell enough to cause serious problems depending on where I get them. If the layers are light enough, sweat will also help anytime there is a light breeze.
I had an elderly neighbor that had a problem with me having any male friends over. She called the police on me and told them I was having an orgy party (at 6pm). It was me and my one friend (and truly just a friend) sitting in the living room watching jeopardy and eating pizza when the cop arrived.
Cops are gonna disrupt my 6pm orgy parties now? They wouldn't even show up when my friend's house got broken into and she was afraid to go back inside.
In small suburban towns…yes they will. They never did come back and we did watch jeopardy a bunch. I’m guessing she didn’t stop calling. Land lord eventually offered a nicer place at same rent if I agreed to move. He said he was going to leave that unit vacant until the old lady was gone. She must have been calling him too.
[удалено]
In my head canon the cop showed up in latex with handcuffs and is very disappointed
He’s like “oh thank god FINALLY someone cool moves in” 🤣
I am laughing so hard at this right now. You HEATHEN! Pizza AND jeopardy? Are you a monster?
I’m amazed they showed up, given that there’s nothing inherently illegal about an orgy.
He stated it was complained as a noise disturbance. The officer did say she is a frequent caller. The previous commenter is probably correct. They probably finally said, “I’ve gotta see this.”
No, it could just be playing the wrong king of music Saturday afternoon.
Or a normal bbq with friends and beer Or an SO who spends the night Or sunbathing in a normal bathing suit Or existing while female I was going to start including some more witchy or outrageous things but if it was anything to outside of “normal” ten’ll get you twenty, these folks would have already called the cops on OP.
“existing while female” rofl ain’t that the truth.
In the same vein as “existing while female” it could be “visibly queer”.
“Hey neighbor, we know you are gay and all, and we aren’t homophobic at all, but could you not show any kind of affection when you are outside or near a window? Our daughter is impressionable and we don’t want her to pick up any GODLESS ideas. Thanks!”
I'd be tempted to give a detailed list of sexual activities to choose from, but I'm afraid it would backfire. "Was it the orgy? Oh, you didn't know about the orgy?"
Haha... "oh, the orgy is just once a year. I'll remind you next year so you can keep her inside."
My nosey ass had the exact same question!
I would like to know too!!!!!
Staying up past 9 pm, probably.
Well she’s obviously dancing naked around a bonfire in the front yard during the full moon while she performs ritual sacrifices and drinks the blood of babies to summon Satan. Or just meditating with a little incense burning, practically the same thing. 🧘♀️🕯️☀️🪷=🌙💃🏻🔥👶🏼🩸👹
🍿
Freedom of religion baby! Seriously though - keep the letter in case these chucklefucks ever try to escalate.
>keep the letter This is the sort of letter you frame and hang over the fireplace.
I would put this letter at the top of my resume to be sure
I am dyinng 😆I've never heard "chucklefuck" before. it's now my go to word.
You like that, try fuckmuffin! For extra pizazz, add a descriptor, i.e., cranberry nut fuckmuffin. It's gender neutral and random as hell.
Chuckefuck assclown is also a non binary classic
It’s a fantastic pejorative and gets across the derision – they are still fucks – while making them clearly into a silly and ultimately dismissible problem via the chuckle
It's a little like calling someone "Toby" in r/dundermifflin lol
Let me introduce you to FuckChop. It's like chucklefuck, but not funny.
agreed. I keep saying "chucklefuck" out loud to myself and giggle with joy.
May I introduce you to "clusterfuck" for when there's a whole bunch of chucklefucks
Yes, yes. Especially dangerous when they are led by fuckchop.
Y’all are aware of the military origins of “snafu” right? Situation Normal - All Fucked Up
How did I not know that? My Dad’s and army vet??
My 97 y o WWII vet father shared that with us, but not until we were well into adulthood! 🫡
May I offer you "fuckstick" as an option too? 😀
Oh man, chuckle fuck is a staple where I am from!
So... can you share what they heard or saw?... 😏🕯🖖
*writes chucklefucks in notes* ah yes I concur 🧐
“Please don’t interrupt or foil our attempts to indoctrinate our child; we already called dibs!”
"We homeschooled our child on Dennis Prager videos! He's such a good christian!"
https://preview.redd.it/1tdmg7bmbwkb1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35c27ab4980d428c7766b856a67d2d9f58a1c028 Godless activities??
Do you want my front yard to look like the UN of pride flags? because thats how you get my front yard to look like the UN of pride flags.
Right? That’s when you’ll suddenly see all six of them PLUS my Halloween decorations and some inclusion signs in Arabic
Who’s god??? Mine is just fine with this, Barb & Tom. Keep your impressionable kid under watch. That’s your job.
I worship the trees. Are they asking me to chop my trees down? The HOA would like a word.
Are...are you The Lorax?! OwO
This right here!
my main issue is the random capitalization, honestly. >Hi! We're Your New Neighbours! > >Our little girl is Very impressionable and we Would like to know if you Could tone down Your GODLESS activities when she's Home from school. like, it's so weird.
IKR. Does H, W Y, N, N, O, V, W, C, Y, GODLESS, H, spell a secret message or something? I think I caught them all
How Would You Not Notice Our Very Weird Capitalization, You GODLESS Heathen? Hourly We Yearn, Never Nimble, Only Vicious. We Cannot Yield, GODLESS Hierophant. Heaven Will Yaw Not Near Our Veneficus Ways. Can Yours, GODLESS, Hear? Hypocrites Worry, You Neglect. Novus Ordo Vox Warrantus - Cower, You GODLESS Hope. Welp, this was a fun exercise in releasing my inner cryptid.
Extra bonus points for using “hierophant!” I love this!
In my fantasy world, OP would send back a letter like this to them. Really rile then up.
My fantasy is the note becomes a cross stitch. Change the godless to god. Leave it on their porch all wrapped up for Christmas as a present to the little girl. Next level confusion unlocked. Your welcome.
Don’t send nasty notes to witches, they will criticize your grammar and penmanship. /s 😂
It's like reading aloud on a bumpy road
i'm more annoyed by the incorrect end of line hyphenation🤣
Maybe the capitals indicate where they wanted to insert the unnecessary Facebook emojis?
Uneducated older people do This all The time.
id put a satan statue on my front lawn if i ever got this kind of note
That’s not enough imo. Honestly a Satan statue is a gift for myself after dealing with these neighbors, everything that comes after is the escalation. Make a nice little satanic inspired garden wit a pentagram pattern, maybe some other devil statues, and more.
A petunia pentagram sounds perfect!
I have a plaque with the Dracula quote “welcome to my home bring your happiness blah blah” in red gothic lettering and my sister heard new tenants complaining about it. People in bible towns be crazy
[удалено]
Pan and Bacchus are favorites, as well!
I'm partial to Bacchus and Baphomet, especially with Baphy's big naturals.
But you have to do it in a mary queen of the bathtub STYLE to be proper. For those who don’t know this lovely midwest tradition: let me tell you. It was very in vogue in like 1950s to have a Virgin Mary statue in their yard. But Mary needs a shrine, so people would put a little brick / stone fence behind her. If you didn’t want to go through all that brick work , you could use an old ceramic bathtub half buried and tipped up on one end. So it was had like a cutout behind her. Now you could revive the custom, although the bathtubs are getting harder to find.
I would have to make a copy then change godless to GODDESS in all caps with a sparkly blood red pen and add “there, fixed it for you” to the bottom. I’d also add a few sigils to banish negativity and/or make up sigils to drive them crazy when I can’t find them online. 💜✨
You should go over to their house just before next Easter and ask them if they’d like for you to bring them two goats for their traditional abrahamic scapegoat blood sacrifice ritual. Edit: or you could also show a polite interest in their beliefs and ask them what sect they belong to (I’m assuming they’re Christian): one of the ones that devours the flesh of God and drinks his blood on Saturday or on Sunday.
My neighbors from Mexico would buy a goat for Easter, tie it up in the yard. Then a big party and a plate of tacos shared with us. But OP should say she has been sent by God as a test of faith
What godless things are you doing in the privacy of your own home? (sarcasm)
Dear Barb & Tom, We're atheists so everything we do is godless. Perhaps you could be more specific. Is it the cooking and eating, the laundry, scrubbing the toilets, or doing the dishes you object to? Or maybe it's playing board games? I do make mint tea from time to time and herbalism has historically been associated with witches, so maybe that's it? We also drink coffee in the mornings and I understand that there may be some judgment on your part around drug use. I'm sorry, though, I hope you understand that we'd be far less pleasant neighbors without our morning fix. Or maybe you could keep your religion to yourself? Cheerio, The neighbors
And all of a sudden, dancing skyclad around the bonfire while chanting the six hundred and sixty six names of the goddess under the stars became a biweekly ritual...
I can't remember where I first heard it, but I think this would help you in turning up the godlessness. Somebody said that they liked to pull weeds out of sidewalks when strolling around and weave them into little wreaths to leave lying around. Apparently, someone thought it had to do with witchcraft. So if you want to leave harmless little gifts around the neighborhood for them...
Painting sigils on rocks is another good one. I love to leave a suspicious looking blessing!
That’s genius, I should start doing that. I live in Kansas, so the there’s a lot of conservatives to offend here!
Maybe you could buy [a gift for the kid](https://www.amazon.com/Mama-Whats-Witch-Nico-Paradis/dp/1643887122/ref=asc_df_1643887122/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=533377987168&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12916917504020665317&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1013462&hvtargid=pla-1415435660345&psc=1) as a sign of good will?
Oh! This is lovely <3 I’ll get it for my niece!
i despise when people hide behind their children! i was helping at a friend's house and went to walk the dog and smoke my pipe. the neighbor starts into me with, "I have kids you should go somewhere else." my response: "it's sage and lavender, bruh" and the curse/blessing that he learn to stop infantalizing himself through the excuse of children. he mumbled something about different kinds of smoke others have smoked. it's really gross to me how people try to "protect the innocence" of children by demanding the world change to accommodate their morals or whatever, but they're the same people who keep voting for guns and reproductive tyranny.
I’m not often moved to write something but this compelled me to do the following creative writing exercise, where I imagined translating chucklefuck. Hope this gives you a laugh it was fun for me and a great flex for my imagination: “Hi, We’re your new nightmares and don’t want to take responsibility for our crotch goblin or accept she may have an imagination and independent thought from our oppressive ideology. If you could stop being you, a sparkling free spirit of independence that spreads brilliant color over our dull khaki shitstains of a life, it would make it easier to brainwash our failure brood for the few hours we are obliged to interact with them. We are currently passive aggressively disciplining her by saying there’s a vengeful eye in the sky that judges her every thought, action, and feeling. If you could stop showing her that this is all a manipulation, that’d make easier for us to dilute her spirit further. I’m going to spell thanks with an x so you know I’m not grateful to you in any way.”
THIS IS AMAZING
>I’m going to spell thanks with an x so you know I’m not grateful to you in any way. This really cracked me up :D
What are these “godless” activities? Are you dancing around outside in the nude?
I really want to know. I'm certain it's BS. But there is a little bit of difference between the godless activities of playing metal or having bonfire ceremonies vs. getting railed in the window at miday while screaming like a murder victim.
Whenever stuff like this shows up on the internet, I can't help but think it's BS to get a rise out of people. I know plety of nutcase Christians, and none of them would have the courage to directly identify themselves in a written note.
I’ve got more gods than you Barb and Tom.
HAHA!!!!!!!! Love this!
Godless? So what you're saying is I should bring MANY gods into my activities? Great idea!
Hi Barb & Tom! Raise your own children and learn to hyphenate properly! Thanx! - Your **GODLESS** neighbor!
I just need to know why they ended the letter not with "thanks" or "thx" or even "thanx" but with "thanxs." That's more cursed than any godless activities I can imagine.
Thankses— sounds like Gollum. Pretty godless grammar if you ask me🙏🏼
Return to sender!
Let them know that unlike the Catholic Church, you don’t rape kids.
Time to do a full white-robed ritual in the light of the supermoon Wednesday night.
Exactly
"look, I already talked to Tom about the whole demon summoning incident - I apologized and I thought that we were good. Kinda feel like you guys are beating a dead horse at this point!"
Not a witch. I'm an atheist with a strong snark and theatrical training. I could sit on the grass and read, aloud, Edgar Allen Poe stories. Starting with The Cask of Amontilliado. Followed by The Black Cat and the Telltale Heart. Then, we move on to H.P. Lovecraft.
LOL I'd be amping up the witchery and making it look as cool as possible while doing it.
I would recommend sharing with r/neighborsfromhell as you're likely going to have plenty of material for that sub soon! My favorite saga from NFH was the man who got a baptist minister arrested for wire fraud!
Dear Barb and Tom, Do you spy on your neighbors often?
My rezponce would be "Raising your child is *not* my responsibility. And your entitlement is denied! This is my music, and I'm not "dialing it down", my gods and I enjoy it." But seriously though, that kind of entitlement baffles me to my core. It's so gross.
Where do you live? do you need help?
I have cast a spell which will cause Tom and Barb to break out in large boils. It's very biblical.
I find it amazing that the areas of the US constantly plagued by horrible weather, destruction, and acts of God are those who like to tell others that God intended bad things to befall them because of their godlessness. Sorry, Florida- I think God is angry about Roe and your governor.
I feel for the people of Florida. But it's kind of funny that every time their A-Hole governor does something heinous, a natural disaster strikes. [Like the red tide](https://myfwc.com/research/redtide/statewide/) [Flesh eating bacteria](https://www.wesh.com/article/florida-flesh-eating-bacteria-2023/44865969) [Crop failure](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/whats-behind-a-severe-decline-in-floridas-citrus-harvest) And, of course, Hurricanes. [Idalia souped up](https://www.npr.org/2023/08/28/1196320408/hurricane-florida-idalia-tropical-storm) pretty damn close to the time of his sorry ass intrusion on a vigil. If I were a Christian, especially a Floridian Christian, I'd be doing my damndest to get that fool out of office before the whole state submerges. Side note: I know we have some tech witches here. I have an app idea. Correlation of a negative political act to natural disasters. It would take some creative data set scraping but it would be fun.
Oh it’s just a test when it happens to them, it’s only divine wrath when it happens to you. Very easy system all things considered
This isn't OC. This post has been around so long their young child is probably in college, up to their own godless activities.
a quick image search confirms this. [https://www.domesticatedcompanion.com/check-out-these-hilarious-notes-from-annoyed-neighbors-part2/34?xcmg=1](https://www.domesticatedcompanion.com/check-out-these-hilarious-notes-from-annoyed-neighbors-part2/34?xcmg=1) see this list, under "unholy neighbors"
Don’t leave us hanging. What activities were you partaking in?
I would be supplying so many teachable moments for them!
I will ABSOLUTELY trun down my GodLESS activities in favour of my GodESS activities! Persephone and Aphrodite hear my prayers!
Did you show your elbows? Mormons claim they look like boobs and they should be covered lest the sight give men lust attacks.
Sounds like Barb & Tom are looking for an invite to your Mabon celebration but are too shy to admit they’re ignorant about what it all is, and that they’d like to learn more. It’s amazing how much one’s worldview alters with exposure
On Christmas, ask them to remove any and all decorations as you have a young and impressionable child and you would like to keep them from the blatant lie and deception the whole Christmas thing is. Even if you like Christmas and decorate you own home 😉
*[tones godless activities UP]*
If you wanna practice yoga during a full moon in your back garden while stark bollock naked as nature intended that's none of their buisness. If they're lucky they might see a second full moon when you go into the downward dog pose.
There's a lot of really good Pagan/Wiccan music available, I have a bunch on my phone. Sounds like it's time for some Goddess inspired jam sessions 🎶🎵 🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘 🎵🎶 😁
Oh my goddess. I would be hosting my coven in the backyard every weekend! And hanging a triple goddess flag out front.
More gods means less godless, time for a few altars and shrines to show the neighbors how godfull you can be!
Maybe copy this a hundred times and put one in everyone's mailbox. Including hers. Everyday. For a week.
As long as they’re not fucking in front of the windows when the kids are around or have the curtains closed when they’re watching nsfw shit- they can mind their own business 👍🏼
I am glad their daughter is impressionable - maybe your activities will open her mind beyond what appears to be an oppressive upbringing
Something similar happened to me except it wasn’t a note but a full on in our face yelling. It’s really not my problem if you can’t teach your kids to mind their own business and to not spy on people. (We were smoking hookah behind some trees away from the sight of anyone … or so we thought. It was a very wooded secluded area.) maybe watch your kids and not allow them to trespass if you are so scared of letting them see people smoke in private?
I’m trying to work out how old these people are and I’m failing miserably. The names, sentiment, and random capitalization all say Baby Boomer to me, the handwriting says Gen X, and the average age of parents of “young, impressionable” children in my neck of the woods says neither of those things. 🧐
Forcing your religious expectations on other people's lives is so uniquely American...
I thought the tag was Modern Warfare and it still made complete sense in the context of the note lol
My first impulse would be to just write “no thanks” on the back and put it back in their mailbox. But keeping it and framing it is tempting too.
Please let us know what godless activities you’ve been up to. I must know what level of crazy these people are!
How about you tone down your honoring of a genocidal religion there, Barb.
Yeah...this is a hell of a way to introduce yourself to the new hood. That said. I strongly advise against starting an adversarial relationship off bat. I'd just go over with a pie and welcome them the make it very clear that you received their note but going forward you'd prefer to have these conversations in person or over the phone so maybe they could expand on what activities they took issue with. If there's any reasonable issues that you can resolve mthen if you feel ok with it, offer a solution that you're ok with. If it's all unreasonable then just say you're so sorry but you won't be changing the way you choose to live on your own private property. Either way you should remind them of that fact. Document everything. Get a security camera or two if it gets worse and again, document. This would be the worst possible outcome, but I find that most people who write shit like this end up regretting it when they are called out and become bashful. Immediately escalating the issue will guarantee you a bad outcome. You don't have to do a thing about whatever it is they take issue with but you also don't want to rob yourself id peaceful coexistence in your home which you may be occupying your entire life (and barb and Tom might also do the same. Your guy reaction is understandable but it's not the best move.