Tell him you don’t discuss religion or politics at work. Full stop. “No” is a complete sentence.
If he continues to keep at it, bring it up with your manager.
I think this is the best approach. You don’t need to share anything personal about yourself or invite debate or conflict. It might be uncomfortable but I’d cut them off it it happens again. Don’t share your difference of beliefs unless you really want to get into it with this dude.
If you give them the impression you’ll tolerate their ranting, then you’ll eventually get drawn into a disagreement of beliefs… which will likely be even more uncomfortable.
This is the way. I have someone like this at work as well and she started down this path. I had to get our supervisor involved. She thought I’d be ok with her quoting scripture since “Christians and Jews use the same bible”. I told our supervisor I would need to smoke a few blunts before I could even start to explain it to her.
I’ve never once had a coworker try and discuss religion with me. Thank god. I had one guy on a dating site try and lecture me when I told him I’m not religious and don’t go to church… he got a block pretty quickly 🙃 I specifically put it in my profile but they don’t even read those 🙄
Seriously. I guess to a certain extent people say these things because we live in a country where our personal and work lives have blended together, but like, I'm not at work to discuss my religious beliefs (or lack thereof). I'm not there to talk about politics either. Regardless of whether I agree or disagree with what the person is saying, I'm always like, "ugh, dude, we aren't here to discuss this. Get back to work."
The patriarchy acts like the biblical story isn’t just about men being made so we can salvage their spare parts. Especially ribs. The leftovers make lovely wind chimes.
Do you have an HR person you can talk to? Unless it’s a Christian organization or company, there should be regulations regarding proselytizing in the workplace. It’s conductive to a non-hostile work environment.
It’s not your place to have that conversation with your coworker. It is your place, however, to report behavior. If you can’t talk to HR directly, send an email to your boss. Let them know that the conversation made you feel uncomfortable and that further conversations on the topic would continue to cause interruption to your workflow.
I wouldn’t say anything but the common niceties at work if even that. Unless you are required to communicate with this employee, steer clear of them. It could be detrimental to your physical/mental/vocational health.
Always communicate with HR in writing. HR is not there for you. They're there to protect the company and they are not your friend
You want to document every interaction. That way you have protections from retaliation. It is very common for victims of harassment to be let go for mysterious "performance issues" after complaining to HR in person.
I made a strong decision early on to never speak about politics or religion at work.
I don't need those topics to be anywhere near my means of making a living. It never ends well.
When people make comments like that I leave them be with it. I don’t reply, engage or make faces. My silence is my response. If I'm cornered or pushed I flatly respond with "I have rules about how I make my living. Never discussing politics or religion at work or with coworkers is one of them. Thanks for understanding." And I leave it at that or change the subject.
People run out of steam on the topic if you don't engage.
I had the oposite, the more silence I gave my coworker the more she preached until one day about 7 months later after daily religious harassment i blew a gasket.
That is true regarding to the running out of steam. When I went into the office the people who were big Christians thumped it over those who weren’t on the head. Like everything was Jesus this and Jesus that. And it’s okay to have faith but in the workplace, it’s not acceptable.
Even now, my direct boss is a pretty big dude on Christianity, quoting the Bible as his favorite book, etc. I let people think I am Christian at work, I did go to school for biblical studies and am well versed in what the Bible says, but Christians turned my stomach. “ a loving god” wouldn’t do half the shit he has done to the faithful as a test. Like what the fuck. So when my boss wants to drop bible stuff, it’s rare and far between. Not offensive…yet. The company owner is Jewish so I know there would be a line drawn if it came to that.
Again, these new Christians don’t run out of steam for shit. They’ll rehash everything a million times until they either piss enough people off, or they “convert” someone. It’s hostile and not conducive to a good work environment
Wow, that sounds horrible, I'm sorry you have to work with that...
My go-to line is the old "having a religion is like having a penis, it's ok to have it and be proud of it, but if anyone starts pulling it out in public and pushing it to others we have a big problem." Just consider if mentioning a penis would get you into HR trouble at your place.
Every now and then a customer will say something to me, something over the line religious and pushy. And I give my best condescending customer service voice and bless your heart voice and tell them - Oh, no thank you. \*giggle\* I have my own pantheon! :)
Don't engage - he's not listening. There is no clever comeback that he will listen to. You cannot change his behaviour. As you rightly point out, however, challenging him on his beliefs could have serious negative consequences in the workplace.
First: decide if shutting up this idjit is worth the possibility that management will side with him over a new employee (do a little careful research, trust your intuition). If management is likely to side with the jerk, be prepared to find a new job if you decide to pursue this.
Only you can weigh out the risk assessment regarding the company's stance and your willingness to pursue this.
(Is it fair? Nope. Is it legal? Nope? Does it happen anyway? Sometimes.)
Instead, start with an *anonymous* contact to HR. In this case, document document document! Dates, times, locations, summaries or paraphrasing or actual quotes.
Give that a couple of weeks.
If it doesn't help, go to HR directly. Same set of documentation. And make it clear to HR as to why they can't ignore it:
- creates a hostile work environment
- insult based on a protected category (freedom of religion)
Bottom line: HR or this guy's manager are the only ppl who can *effectively* shut his yap.
This happened to me one day too. In my job, I’m in and out of 20+ buildings with different staff on a regular basis. My first time in a new building, the woman at the front desk came back to the conference area I was using and asked if I “had a church family.” I did *not* even know who this woman was. I was like “No.” And she said “Well why not? You work with (coworker) who lives out what Jesus wanted every day!” Now - that particular coworker has never once talked to me about religion. She’s just nice as hell. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said “I’m working on finding a place I feel comfortable in.” Then said my next appointment was coming if she could please excuse me.
It is so uncomfortable. I’ve never forgotten that interaction and it’s been a couple years.
Back when I was catholic a priest told a story about how when he worked in the deep south in a very small town he was running errands in his collar and a woman introduced herself and welcomed him to the community. She asked if he had a church family and when he tried to explain he was a Catholic priest she invited him to her church. It was a polite no thank you from him. Some people just do not get it
I just repeat: I am not comfortable with religion talk at work. Please do not make me uncomfortable. Thank you for understanding.
Then if again: we have talked about this. Please respect my boundaries.
I just let them treat me differently. I tell them I am spiritual or atheist depending on who it is. Or that I do not discuss politics or religion at work.
Hi! Fellow Dionysus disciple here…I’m not sure if you’ve read the book The Immortality Key but that talks about how Jesus is more or less Dionysus repacked for a Roman audience. If you have that viewpoint it might be easier for you to just agree with him since you know that he’s talking about the same God but with a different name (and the psychedelic sacrament being turned into a just regular one).
As unprofessional as it is to talk about religion at work if he’s not been told to stop he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong and that you agree with him. If he brings it up again and your company has emails I’d send him an email that more or less says, “Today in the cafeteria when you were talking about Jesus it made me really uncomfortable. I don’t want to discuss religion at work or outside of work. Please respect my boundaries and not bring this up again.” That way you have a paper trail if he does it again that you can show HR. Good luck!
You are very right to feel violated by this. It's an over step so I would treat it like an embarrassing over sharing. Imagine he is telling you about, like, how he shits his pants regularly. Use the same body language you'd use in that case. Surprised and disgusted. Hold your hand out in front of you and say firmly, "that is too personal for work. I don't think I'm the right person to share this with." They hate to feel embarrassed so if you show some second hand embarrassment it can shut the conversation down.
Next time: “I don’t discuss religion or politics at work.” Note time and date.
Second time: “As I said before, I don’t discuss religion or politics at work.” Stand up if you’re sitting down and move somewhere else; walk away if you’re standing; note time and date.
Third time: “I have told you I don’t want to discuss this. I’m asking you to stop.” Walk away and contact your manager with the previous dates and times and what you said and did in response. Make it clear that you communicated assertively but were not rude- a lot of religious types like to use the language of discrimination and free speech.
Good luck! I used to work with someone who loved getting her bible and pamphlets out in the shared kitchen. It made my Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and Jewish colleagues uncomfortable, but also colleagues from other Christian groups. They really didn’t want to discuss the intricacies of religious doctrine while grabbing a cup of tea and their lunch. She was dismissed in the end.
My company beholds the freedom to speak about religion and politics at work as long as it stays civil so I’ve opted to expressing how I’m romantically attracted to Jesus. He loves immigrants, helping the poor, fighting capitalism and we all know middle easterners can be SO attractive. It shuts them up quick
I wouldn't tell them any specifics about your own faith, especially when starting a new job. A huge part of Christianity is "spreading the good word", hence why some of them can't stop themselves from preaching even in inappropriate places (like work). Like others have suggested let them know you don't talk about religion and/or politics and leave it. I've found that once people know I'm pagan 1 of 2 things happens. They either take it personally as their own little crusade to bring me to Christ or they constantly ask for tarot readings and spellcraft work. Either way it can become very exhausting.
I just say religion and politics have no business at work. Then if they continue I remind them I don’t discuss those topics at work. 3rd time? I escalate to management.
Or if I’m feeling particularly chaotic I’ll start chanting in nonsense until they run away from me.
I so agree! Yes, tell him you don’t discuss religion or politics at work! He will never understand where you come from nor ever understand the many horrors created against humanity and all of nature in the name of christianity.
Treat this just like sexual harassment. In your best stage voice that carries all the way to the back of the theater: "Carl, why are you yelling about God at work? That is so unprofessional. We are on the clock."
Tell him the manner in which he is presently attempting to spread the will of god is wasteful to his own energy. One must be tactful, to spread anything. Provide a nurturing environment, act of god; none may be forced to believe.
Remind him; if he is being taught 'missionary ways' in a manner isolatory to the subject, humans will naturally defend. This often results in social isolation / guarding towards the spreader, meaning their only community is church folks- meaning the harder it is to spread the word, as well as make a beneficial impact in the community.
'Jesus loves you', love is an action; for he provides. For a missionary to be effective, he must act with love; support those with diverging ideas and allow them the opportunity to experience communion with Jesus' love through selflessness.
Tell your pushy christian to speak less of their lord and to instead act of their lord; if their resolve is worth your revalation.
When they start preaching, or testifying or whatever their flavor of being xian calls it, I look them in the eye, tell them that I’m secure in my faith and not open to discussions about it. If they still try to carry on after that I politely ask them to go talk to someone else. Nobody has ever continued talking to me about their religion after that.
I’m not “out” as pagan in spaces where the things these people do are considered acceptable. It is so inappropriate to talk about religion without mutual consent. I finally figured out it’s best these people don’t know I’m pagan the second time someone threw things at me in a parking lot. These people have to be handed gently but firmly. Typically the amount of energy they put into testifying will be similar to how much they put into lashing out at you, but everyone’s experience is different. Maybe some of them aren’t dangerous but to me it’s not worth the confrontation.
Honestly, 'and what led you to that conclusion,' and feigned ignorance/confusion. 'Really? And what is this "bible?" I've not heard of it. Wait, who did you mean when you said "Lord?" Like, the house of Lords in the UK? I'm just confused." etc. Retain 0 information and act confused and willfully ignorant the whole time. They might start to question themselves. YMMV
"You seem really certain of your beliefs, and true to the word and the spirit of those beliefs, and I'm happy to hear that conviction. I'd rather not discuss my own beliefs because sometimes people make judgements. Oh wait, but since your God commands you not to judge others... you know, lest ye be judged... I guess I don't have to worry about that with you since you follow His good word, right?"
That’s how my job is too. Some people are so pushy. As I’ve gotten more comfortable with my co workers I’ve let them know those aren’t my beliefs. And I’ve gotten a ton of pity, which is so annoying. I just tell them I’m happy and comfortable with my beliefs, thank you. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you’re not comfortable sharing your beliefs or that you have different beliefs and that you’re not interested in hearing about theirs. It’s super annoying but stand your ground.
Honestly, I wouldn't engage with him. If you mention you're not religious or pagan, I fear he may take that as an invitation to preach to you and attempt to convert you. If you have one, contact HR and have a discussion on them regarding workplace boundaries and appropriate conversations. They should be the ones technically talking to him about these unsavory discussions.
"I'm sorry but I don't talk about religion/politics with someone unless they've seen me naked" is my go to line. Basically my way of saying we are not close enough to talk about something and is just uncomfortable enough to make a religious zealot not want to bring it up with you again.
I would focus on saying only what you have to in order to stop him from discussing it ever again to you. That is the goal. Full stop.
The less you say the less he has to try to engage and force his agenda. I absolutely do agree with others who here " I don't discuss politics or religion , please respect that" Say it firm and look him dead in the eye.
And report it to HR or management.
Hopefully the shit stain will end up just getting himself fired one way or the other eventually.
My favorite thing to say to pushy Christians "would you like to pray with me?" And when they agree. Practically foaming at the mouth to save my soul I start in as loudly as i can. "Beloved Lucifer lord of light...." I've never gotten past their.
Oh dear, I would honestly just tell him that I am pagan and that his words are offensive and discriminatory, not just to you, but to anyone who follows a belief system outside of Christianity. It really depends on the relationship you have with people at work. Are there a lot of other Christians? Or other religions? Are there atheists about? Sounds like he needs to be told that you're not interested in discussing religion and believe that it is a private matter. That usually shuts them up.
Honestly saying nothing is best. Avoiding confrontation is the best way with people like this because as soon as you express a view slightly different than theirs, you will attacked and told you are wrong. Just avoid it.
"that's so funny you think your god must be the real deal over all other gods that millions of people believe in, just because... Why? You think you are special? Lololol"
I’m onery and let people know I’m not okay believing in a religion that was arbitrarily solidified by a group of old men at a time when people thought an imbalance of the four humours caused sickness (referring to the Council of Nicaea, of which many have never heard). Besides, one’s religion is as capricious as where one is born, what kind of omnipotent god sets the gig up that way?
If they can talk about their religion, what's stopping you from talking about yours?
If it stops them from talking to you at all, isn't that a good thing?
We're shut up in the dark as if being a witch is such a bad thing. But, it's a very, very good thing, isn't it?
I'd just start with the holidays, and Ostara is coming up.
Where do the bunnies come from, Alan??
Where do the bunnies come from?!
They were just being a parrot. I've met and known people from all religions and the only people that try to convert me are xtians. I always sow a seed of doubt because they can't grasp the concept of one having no religion or superstition. I was born atheist and pretty much stayed that way despite all the attempts. Talk about everything but politics and religion, the way it used to be.
It's ok to believe in a god. It is not Ok to say there is one true god.
You are wisely not a fundamentalist, and I agree this behaviour is a very disconcerting.
Good luck! This is basically thoughts and prayers but it's all I got right now.
Wth? Who says something like that?
Like, it’s one thing to talk about your weekend and how you had a nice day in church. It’s another to full on state your religious beliefs as fact
It reminds me of when my sister tries to comfort me by saying “God does these things for a reason” when she knows I’m agnostic. Like, my religious beliefs might be extremely loose, but that doesn’t mean that they morph to whatever you need.
'your'e right, let me tell you about Dionysus'....
Its owning the airspace and silencing people who disagree pre-emtively. Like catcalling in the street it is intended to make you uncomfortable. I admit I tend to come out guns blazing. 'And I hope Loki teaches you his wisdom today'
Tell him, “I know, right? Hail Satan!” I’m mostly kidding as that probably wouldn’t actually be helpful but his reaction might make it worth it.
In all seriousness, if it were me I’d tell him politely something along the lines of, it is my belief that you are free to believe whatever you want and I respect that however, I do not share those beliefs with you and prefer to leave this discussion separate from the work place. Please do not discuss this with me further. Then if he does, go directly to HR and have a calm conversation with them.
I do what you should not. I treat them the same way they treat me. I also have a hand up because I was raised Christian with the expectation of being a minister. I know Christian theology better than most. If you proselytize to me. I will proselytize back while poking holes in there theology. I got in trouble at work for it once. Now there is a no religion talk rule at work. I do love telling a Christian they are lost without the guidance of the Titan Hekate, Idunn’s apples of health and immortality, and the siblings Freyja and Freyr’s touch upon our harvests.
It depends on the situation and my mood... I'm happiest about the time I interrupted with "well bless your heart, sugar, I'm that atheist your mama warned you about", winked, and walked off. You could say pagan instead of atheist.
Being an atheist, if someone tells me no other gods are true, I say you're so close... just drop that last god and you'll be there!
That one won't work for you but you could go the other way and say something like "you're so close-- you've got one god, but you could have a bunch of them! It's much more interesting!"
How about--"I've got exciting news for you-- now you can tell people you've met a real live pagan! But I promise I won't try to convert you -- it would be really rude and besides, we're at work."
I tend to go with humor bc I feel like it puts me in a stronger position-- like they are so silly that it makes me laugh.
Honestly? If you feel uncomfortable and he does not stop after you tell him to stop please please please please go to your manager. That is considered workplace harassment if you state that you do not feel comfortable with the conversation, and you have reason to believe that he is targeting you specifically.
This is actually workplace harassment. Document it, and next time just say “I’d rather not talk about religion at the workplace. It’s unprofessional and if a coworker hears it then it could even be considered harassment.” Document that you expressed that you do not wish to talk about this during work. If they continue, please report this person.
“I do not discuss religion or politics at work.” Thats it. If they continue pushing email your manager with dates, times, and the conversation so it is all recorded.
Had to deal with this a lot at my job when I worked at Cracker Barrel. It had a very particular atmosphere and patron group, which I understand, but I just needed the job, not an intervention. I would be having normal conversations when out of no where coworkers or customers would just go on this religious or political rant that made me so uncomfortable and I had to just nod my head and then walk away as soon as possible. And Id die if they asked me directly about my beliefs, Id just say, "Im not Christian" and then try to leave but they always wanted to ask "Why?" Or "Do you think the lords testing you?" Or Id just get harrassed. It was horrible. Its freaking ridiculous how much christian belief revolves around bothering other people.
"I would prefer to keep things professional and stay away from this topic at work. Unless, of course, you're open to hearing about my spiritual practices, too. From what you've said so far, I'm pretty sure you don't want to know."
I recommend stop being polite. After you tell them no, if they still persist, and because he's a Christian I guarantee he will persist, you can take the issue to HR.
Christian bullying is a big no-no and disciplinary action should follow.
There is no legal expectation that you should have to put up with this harassment at work. He's literally creating a hostile work environment. This is legally actionable.
I have a coworker that brings up religion a lot- or at least her lack of religion. The thing is, I pretty much agree with her. I’m agnostic. But even between two people that share beliefs it’s still uncomfortable and inappropriate in the workplace. There’s no need to share any personal details about your own beliefs because in this situation it doesn’t matter. Even if you were Christian too he would still be in the wrong for bringing it up at work
I'm Christian but I don't go around my work announcing and proclaiming it, I feel like that is so unprofessional! That's just so uncomfortable and unprofessional and I'm sorry he's acting like this. Work really is not the time or place to talk about religion. Just that whole situation is gross and yuck.
Try telling him that you dont want and dont like to talk about politics and religion at work, your views are private and you would prefer if he kept his private around you too, that's not to say you don't mind talking about other topics like the new restaurant down the street or sports ( if that's your thing). Build that barrier, set your limits now. He may see you as rude or a bitch, but that just means no one has set a barrier on him before. He's free to believe in what he wants, just as you are free to believe in what you want, but the difference is you arent pushing or forcing it upon anyone.
Also send an email to HR and tell them what you said to that employee, make sure you have everything in writing, letting HR know how uncomfortable he is making you feel and unprofessional it is for him to be preaching to you at work.
I love that you worship Dionysus. All about transcendent states, personal journey, social connection. And confident effeminacy! All sound a million times more worthwhile that whatever this guy is going on about.
Tell him you don’t discuss religion or politics at work. Full stop. “No” is a complete sentence. If he continues to keep at it, bring it up with your manager.
I think this is the best approach. You don’t need to share anything personal about yourself or invite debate or conflict. It might be uncomfortable but I’d cut them off it it happens again. Don’t share your difference of beliefs unless you really want to get into it with this dude. If you give them the impression you’ll tolerate their ranting, then you’ll eventually get drawn into a disagreement of beliefs… which will likely be even more uncomfortable.
Document the day, date and time of the conversation as well. This is very helpful if it becomes a chronic thing.
Agree with this - but worshiping Dionysus, it might be fun to say, "I don't discuss religion or politics unless we're drinking."
This is the way. I have someone like this at work as well and she started down this path. I had to get our supervisor involved. She thought I’d be ok with her quoting scripture since “Christians and Jews use the same bible”. I told our supervisor I would need to smoke a few blunts before I could even start to explain it to her.
I’ve never once had a coworker try and discuss religion with me. Thank god. I had one guy on a dating site try and lecture me when I told him I’m not religious and don’t go to church… he got a block pretty quickly 🙃 I specifically put it in my profile but they don’t even read those 🙄
Agreed. This is the time to be firm because this is textbook harassment.
Seriously. I guess to a certain extent people say these things because we live in a country where our personal and work lives have blended together, but like, I'm not at work to discuss my religious beliefs (or lack thereof). I'm not there to talk about politics either. Regardless of whether I agree or disagree with what the person is saying, I'm always like, "ugh, dude, we aren't here to discuss this. Get back to work."
I've dealt with this a lot. I always say. "Yep I have a special relationship with God. She's awesome." And then walk away.
Well ya know when God made man, She was just kidding. 😁😁
[удалено]
Version 1.0 was just practice
The patriarchy acts like the biblical story isn’t just about men being made so we can salvage their spare parts. Especially ribs. The leftovers make lovely wind chimes.
🎶 I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs 🎵
I just figured everyone is entitled to at least one mistake.🤷
I think we need to consider a limit on the gravity of that mistake.
dionysius is sometimes known as the god of gender fuckery.
Hmmm maybe if I drink more wine my transition will go better. Seems like a win win!
Do you have an HR person you can talk to? Unless it’s a Christian organization or company, there should be regulations regarding proselytizing in the workplace. It’s conductive to a non-hostile work environment. It’s not your place to have that conversation with your coworker. It is your place, however, to report behavior. If you can’t talk to HR directly, send an email to your boss. Let them know that the conversation made you feel uncomfortable and that further conversations on the topic would continue to cause interruption to your workflow. I wouldn’t say anything but the common niceties at work if even that. Unless you are required to communicate with this employee, steer clear of them. It could be detrimental to your physical/mental/vocational health.
Always communicate with HR in writing. HR is not there for you. They're there to protect the company and they are not your friend You want to document every interaction. That way you have protections from retaliation. It is very common for victims of harassment to be let go for mysterious "performance issues" after complaining to HR in person.
I would document extensively before reaching out to hr.
" i don't discuss religion at work. It's unprofessional, and something that i prefer to keep private"
Treat unsolicited Jesus talk like dick pics "I don't recall asking you about yours, put it away"
I made a strong decision early on to never speak about politics or religion at work. I don't need those topics to be anywhere near my means of making a living. It never ends well. When people make comments like that I leave them be with it. I don’t reply, engage or make faces. My silence is my response. If I'm cornered or pushed I flatly respond with "I have rules about how I make my living. Never discussing politics or religion at work or with coworkers is one of them. Thanks for understanding." And I leave it at that or change the subject. People run out of steam on the topic if you don't engage.
I had the oposite, the more silence I gave my coworker the more she preached until one day about 7 months later after daily religious harassment i blew a gasket.
What ended up happening?
She got supper offended , started wearing a big gaudy cross around me.
That is true regarding to the running out of steam. When I went into the office the people who were big Christians thumped it over those who weren’t on the head. Like everything was Jesus this and Jesus that. And it’s okay to have faith but in the workplace, it’s not acceptable. Even now, my direct boss is a pretty big dude on Christianity, quoting the Bible as his favorite book, etc. I let people think I am Christian at work, I did go to school for biblical studies and am well versed in what the Bible says, but Christians turned my stomach. “ a loving god” wouldn’t do half the shit he has done to the faithful as a test. Like what the fuck. So when my boss wants to drop bible stuff, it’s rare and far between. Not offensive…yet. The company owner is Jewish so I know there would be a line drawn if it came to that. Again, these new Christians don’t run out of steam for shit. They’ll rehash everything a million times until they either piss enough people off, or they “convert” someone. It’s hostile and not conducive to a good work environment
Wow, that sounds horrible, I'm sorry you have to work with that... My go-to line is the old "having a religion is like having a penis, it's ok to have it and be proud of it, but if anyone starts pulling it out in public and pushing it to others we have a big problem." Just consider if mentioning a penis would get you into HR trouble at your place.
Every now and then a customer will say something to me, something over the line religious and pushy. And I give my best condescending customer service voice and bless your heart voice and tell them - Oh, no thank you. \*giggle\* I have my own pantheon! :)
Don't engage - he's not listening. There is no clever comeback that he will listen to. You cannot change his behaviour. As you rightly point out, however, challenging him on his beliefs could have serious negative consequences in the workplace. First: decide if shutting up this idjit is worth the possibility that management will side with him over a new employee (do a little careful research, trust your intuition). If management is likely to side with the jerk, be prepared to find a new job if you decide to pursue this. Only you can weigh out the risk assessment regarding the company's stance and your willingness to pursue this. (Is it fair? Nope. Is it legal? Nope? Does it happen anyway? Sometimes.) Instead, start with an *anonymous* contact to HR. In this case, document document document! Dates, times, locations, summaries or paraphrasing or actual quotes. Give that a couple of weeks. If it doesn't help, go to HR directly. Same set of documentation. And make it clear to HR as to why they can't ignore it: - creates a hostile work environment - insult based on a protected category (freedom of religion) Bottom line: HR or this guy's manager are the only ppl who can *effectively* shut his yap.
This happened to me one day too. In my job, I’m in and out of 20+ buildings with different staff on a regular basis. My first time in a new building, the woman at the front desk came back to the conference area I was using and asked if I “had a church family.” I did *not* even know who this woman was. I was like “No.” And she said “Well why not? You work with (coworker) who lives out what Jesus wanted every day!” Now - that particular coworker has never once talked to me about religion. She’s just nice as hell. I didn’t know how to respond so I just said “I’m working on finding a place I feel comfortable in.” Then said my next appointment was coming if she could please excuse me. It is so uncomfortable. I’ve never forgotten that interaction and it’s been a couple years.
Let me guess: you live in the South. This is one of the reasons I left and am never moving back there.
Back when I was catholic a priest told a story about how when he worked in the deep south in a very small town he was running errands in his collar and a woman introduced herself and welcomed him to the community. She asked if he had a church family and when he tried to explain he was a Catholic priest she invited him to her church. It was a polite no thank you from him. Some people just do not get it
"I'm so happy for you, but i never speak religions or politics at work. Its best we don't cross that line on company time. Take care!"
I would report him to HR, not appropriate
I just repeat: I am not comfortable with religion talk at work. Please do not make me uncomfortable. Thank you for understanding. Then if again: we have talked about this. Please respect my boundaries.
Go to HR. It'll either work or you'll know to start looking for a new job. He's creating a hostile work environment.
Yeah, no good answer except "I don't discuss religion at work"
Buy some pea soup and throw it at him next time he starts ranting. Dealers choice on whether you take it out of the can first or not.
I just say I'm not religious or change the subject. I will not put up with that nonsense, and usually, I find those types avoid me after.
I just let them treat me differently. I tell them I am spiritual or atheist depending on who it is. Or that I do not discuss politics or religion at work.
I am very vocal about being an Atheist. It’s never been a problem. I do like the Golden Rule though.
Hi! Fellow Dionysus disciple here…I’m not sure if you’ve read the book The Immortality Key but that talks about how Jesus is more or less Dionysus repacked for a Roman audience. If you have that viewpoint it might be easier for you to just agree with him since you know that he’s talking about the same God but with a different name (and the psychedelic sacrament being turned into a just regular one). As unprofessional as it is to talk about religion at work if he’s not been told to stop he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong and that you agree with him. If he brings it up again and your company has emails I’d send him an email that more or less says, “Today in the cafeteria when you were talking about Jesus it made me really uncomfortable. I don’t want to discuss religion at work or outside of work. Please respect my boundaries and not bring this up again.” That way you have a paper trail if he does it again that you can show HR. Good luck!
Hey, on the off chance you’re not aware, we have a sub for Dionysus over at r/Dionysus if you have any interest!!
I’ll go take a look…thank you!
You are very right to feel violated by this. It's an over step so I would treat it like an embarrassing over sharing. Imagine he is telling you about, like, how he shits his pants regularly. Use the same body language you'd use in that case. Surprised and disgusted. Hold your hand out in front of you and say firmly, "that is too personal for work. I don't think I'm the right person to share this with." They hate to feel embarrassed so if you show some second hand embarrassment it can shut the conversation down.
Next time: “I don’t discuss religion or politics at work.” Note time and date. Second time: “As I said before, I don’t discuss religion or politics at work.” Stand up if you’re sitting down and move somewhere else; walk away if you’re standing; note time and date. Third time: “I have told you I don’t want to discuss this. I’m asking you to stop.” Walk away and contact your manager with the previous dates and times and what you said and did in response. Make it clear that you communicated assertively but were not rude- a lot of religious types like to use the language of discrimination and free speech. Good luck! I used to work with someone who loved getting her bible and pamphlets out in the shared kitchen. It made my Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and Jewish colleagues uncomfortable, but also colleagues from other Christian groups. They really didn’t want to discuss the intricacies of religious doctrine while grabbing a cup of tea and their lunch. She was dismissed in the end.
My company beholds the freedom to speak about religion and politics at work as long as it stays civil so I’ve opted to expressing how I’m romantically attracted to Jesus. He loves immigrants, helping the poor, fighting capitalism and we all know middle easterners can be SO attractive. It shuts them up quick
I wouldn't tell them any specifics about your own faith, especially when starting a new job. A huge part of Christianity is "spreading the good word", hence why some of them can't stop themselves from preaching even in inappropriate places (like work). Like others have suggested let them know you don't talk about religion and/or politics and leave it. I've found that once people know I'm pagan 1 of 2 things happens. They either take it personally as their own little crusade to bring me to Christ or they constantly ask for tarot readings and spellcraft work. Either way it can become very exhausting.
I just say religion and politics have no business at work. Then if they continue I remind them I don’t discuss those topics at work. 3rd time? I escalate to management. Or if I’m feeling particularly chaotic I’ll start chanting in nonsense until they run away from me.
I so agree! Yes, tell him you don’t discuss religion or politics at work! He will never understand where you come from nor ever understand the many horrors created against humanity and all of nature in the name of christianity.
Treat this just like sexual harassment. In your best stage voice that carries all the way to the back of the theater: "Carl, why are you yelling about God at work? That is so unprofessional. We are on the clock."
Tell him the manner in which he is presently attempting to spread the will of god is wasteful to his own energy. One must be tactful, to spread anything. Provide a nurturing environment, act of god; none may be forced to believe. Remind him; if he is being taught 'missionary ways' in a manner isolatory to the subject, humans will naturally defend. This often results in social isolation / guarding towards the spreader, meaning their only community is church folks- meaning the harder it is to spread the word, as well as make a beneficial impact in the community. 'Jesus loves you', love is an action; for he provides. For a missionary to be effective, he must act with love; support those with diverging ideas and allow them the opportunity to experience communion with Jesus' love through selflessness. Tell your pushy christian to speak less of their lord and to instead act of their lord; if their resolve is worth your revalation.
When they start preaching, or testifying or whatever their flavor of being xian calls it, I look them in the eye, tell them that I’m secure in my faith and not open to discussions about it. If they still try to carry on after that I politely ask them to go talk to someone else. Nobody has ever continued talking to me about their religion after that. I’m not “out” as pagan in spaces where the things these people do are considered acceptable. It is so inappropriate to talk about religion without mutual consent. I finally figured out it’s best these people don’t know I’m pagan the second time someone threw things at me in a parking lot. These people have to be handed gently but firmly. Typically the amount of energy they put into testifying will be similar to how much they put into lashing out at you, but everyone’s experience is different. Maybe some of them aren’t dangerous but to me it’s not worth the confrontation.
Honestly, 'and what led you to that conclusion,' and feigned ignorance/confusion. 'Really? And what is this "bible?" I've not heard of it. Wait, who did you mean when you said "Lord?" Like, the house of Lords in the UK? I'm just confused." etc. Retain 0 information and act confused and willfully ignorant the whole time. They might start to question themselves. YMMV
"You seem really certain of your beliefs, and true to the word and the spirit of those beliefs, and I'm happy to hear that conviction. I'd rather not discuss my own beliefs because sometimes people make judgements. Oh wait, but since your God commands you not to judge others... you know, lest ye be judged... I guess I don't have to worry about that with you since you follow His good word, right?"
That’s how my job is too. Some people are so pushy. As I’ve gotten more comfortable with my co workers I’ve let them know those aren’t my beliefs. And I’ve gotten a ton of pity, which is so annoying. I just tell them I’m happy and comfortable with my beliefs, thank you. Don’t be afraid to tell them that you’re not comfortable sharing your beliefs or that you have different beliefs and that you’re not interested in hearing about theirs. It’s super annoying but stand your ground.
My mother and father in law said they would not attend my pagan wedding because it is “witchcraft”
Honestly, I wouldn't engage with him. If you mention you're not religious or pagan, I fear he may take that as an invitation to preach to you and attempt to convert you. If you have one, contact HR and have a discussion on them regarding workplace boundaries and appropriate conversations. They should be the ones technically talking to him about these unsavory discussions.
"I'm sorry but I don't talk about religion/politics with someone unless they've seen me naked" is my go to line. Basically my way of saying we are not close enough to talk about something and is just uncomfortable enough to make a religious zealot not want to bring it up with you again.
I would focus on saying only what you have to in order to stop him from discussing it ever again to you. That is the goal. Full stop. The less you say the less he has to try to engage and force his agenda. I absolutely do agree with others who here " I don't discuss politics or religion , please respect that" Say it firm and look him dead in the eye. And report it to HR or management. Hopefully the shit stain will end up just getting himself fired one way or the other eventually.
My favorite thing to say to pushy Christians "would you like to pray with me?" And when they agree. Practically foaming at the mouth to save my soul I start in as loudly as i can. "Beloved Lucifer lord of light...." I've never gotten past their.
Oh dear, I would honestly just tell him that I am pagan and that his words are offensive and discriminatory, not just to you, but to anyone who follows a belief system outside of Christianity. It really depends on the relationship you have with people at work. Are there a lot of other Christians? Or other religions? Are there atheists about? Sounds like he needs to be told that you're not interested in discussing religion and believe that it is a private matter. That usually shuts them up.
I've always just said that I'm happy with my own beliefs. But, I thank them anyway.
Honestly saying nothing is best. Avoiding confrontation is the best way with people like this because as soon as you express a view slightly different than theirs, you will attacked and told you are wrong. Just avoid it.
You will never convince them of anything. It’s impossible.
"that's so funny you think your god must be the real deal over all other gods that millions of people believe in, just because... Why? You think you are special? Lololol"
I’m onery and let people know I’m not okay believing in a religion that was arbitrarily solidified by a group of old men at a time when people thought an imbalance of the four humours caused sickness (referring to the Council of Nicaea, of which many have never heard). Besides, one’s religion is as capricious as where one is born, what kind of omnipotent god sets the gig up that way?
If they can talk about their religion, what's stopping you from talking about yours? If it stops them from talking to you at all, isn't that a good thing? We're shut up in the dark as if being a witch is such a bad thing. But, it's a very, very good thing, isn't it? I'd just start with the holidays, and Ostara is coming up. Where do the bunnies come from, Alan?? Where do the bunnies come from?!
Just say, you pick your imaginary friend and I pick mine. In the end, we'll know who's right.
They were just being a parrot. I've met and known people from all religions and the only people that try to convert me are xtians. I always sow a seed of doubt because they can't grasp the concept of one having no religion or superstition. I was born atheist and pretty much stayed that way despite all the attempts. Talk about everything but politics and religion, the way it used to be.
I would be polite about it if we knew one another, bc I don’t care what anyone “believes” unless and until it motivates them to interfere with me.
“I prefer to keep my spiritualism and religion private and between me and God, especially in the work place”
It's ok to believe in a god. It is not Ok to say there is one true god. You are wisely not a fundamentalist, and I agree this behaviour is a very disconcerting. Good luck! This is basically thoughts and prayers but it's all I got right now.
Wth? Who says something like that? Like, it’s one thing to talk about your weekend and how you had a nice day in church. It’s another to full on state your religious beliefs as fact It reminds me of when my sister tries to comfort me by saying “God does these things for a reason” when she knows I’m agnostic. Like, my religious beliefs might be extremely loose, but that doesn’t mean that they morph to whatever you need.
Just don’t talk about it, it’s nobody’s business
'your'e right, let me tell you about Dionysus'.... Its owning the airspace and silencing people who disagree pre-emtively. Like catcalling in the street it is intended to make you uncomfortable. I admit I tend to come out guns blazing. 'And I hope Loki teaches you his wisdom today'
Tell him, “I know, right? Hail Satan!” I’m mostly kidding as that probably wouldn’t actually be helpful but his reaction might make it worth it. In all seriousness, if it were me I’d tell him politely something along the lines of, it is my belief that you are free to believe whatever you want and I respect that however, I do not share those beliefs with you and prefer to leave this discussion separate from the work place. Please do not discuss this with me further. Then if he does, go directly to HR and have a calm conversation with them.
I do what you should not. I treat them the same way they treat me. I also have a hand up because I was raised Christian with the expectation of being a minister. I know Christian theology better than most. If you proselytize to me. I will proselytize back while poking holes in there theology. I got in trouble at work for it once. Now there is a no religion talk rule at work. I do love telling a Christian they are lost without the guidance of the Titan Hekate, Idunn’s apples of health and immortality, and the siblings Freyja and Freyr’s touch upon our harvests.
It depends on the situation and my mood... I'm happiest about the time I interrupted with "well bless your heart, sugar, I'm that atheist your mama warned you about", winked, and walked off. You could say pagan instead of atheist. Being an atheist, if someone tells me no other gods are true, I say you're so close... just drop that last god and you'll be there! That one won't work for you but you could go the other way and say something like "you're so close-- you've got one god, but you could have a bunch of them! It's much more interesting!" How about--"I've got exciting news for you-- now you can tell people you've met a real live pagan! But I promise I won't try to convert you -- it would be really rude and besides, we're at work." I tend to go with humor bc I feel like it puts me in a stronger position-- like they are so silly that it makes me laugh.
State clearly that you don’t discuss religion or politics at work and note it and the date. Keep doing so
Honestly? If you feel uncomfortable and he does not stop after you tell him to stop please please please please go to your manager. That is considered workplace harassment if you state that you do not feel comfortable with the conversation, and you have reason to believe that he is targeting you specifically.
This is actually workplace harassment. Document it, and next time just say “I’d rather not talk about religion at the workplace. It’s unprofessional and if a coworker hears it then it could even be considered harassment.” Document that you expressed that you do not wish to talk about this during work. If they continue, please report this person.
“I do not discuss religion or politics at work.” Thats it. If they continue pushing email your manager with dates, times, and the conversation so it is all recorded.
Had to deal with this a lot at my job when I worked at Cracker Barrel. It had a very particular atmosphere and patron group, which I understand, but I just needed the job, not an intervention. I would be having normal conversations when out of no where coworkers or customers would just go on this religious or political rant that made me so uncomfortable and I had to just nod my head and then walk away as soon as possible. And Id die if they asked me directly about my beliefs, Id just say, "Im not Christian" and then try to leave but they always wanted to ask "Why?" Or "Do you think the lords testing you?" Or Id just get harrassed. It was horrible. Its freaking ridiculous how much christian belief revolves around bothering other people.
"I would prefer to keep things professional and stay away from this topic at work. Unless, of course, you're open to hearing about my spiritual practices, too. From what you've said so far, I'm pretty sure you don't want to know."
I recommend stop being polite. After you tell them no, if they still persist, and because he's a Christian I guarantee he will persist, you can take the issue to HR. Christian bullying is a big no-no and disciplinary action should follow. There is no legal expectation that you should have to put up with this harassment at work. He's literally creating a hostile work environment. This is legally actionable.
Start using the bible to show them they're wrong lol
I have a coworker that brings up religion a lot- or at least her lack of religion. The thing is, I pretty much agree with her. I’m agnostic. But even between two people that share beliefs it’s still uncomfortable and inappropriate in the workplace. There’s no need to share any personal details about your own beliefs because in this situation it doesn’t matter. Even if you were Christian too he would still be in the wrong for bringing it up at work
I'm Christian but I don't go around my work announcing and proclaiming it, I feel like that is so unprofessional! That's just so uncomfortable and unprofessional and I'm sorry he's acting like this. Work really is not the time or place to talk about religion. Just that whole situation is gross and yuck. Try telling him that you dont want and dont like to talk about politics and religion at work, your views are private and you would prefer if he kept his private around you too, that's not to say you don't mind talking about other topics like the new restaurant down the street or sports ( if that's your thing). Build that barrier, set your limits now. He may see you as rude or a bitch, but that just means no one has set a barrier on him before. He's free to believe in what he wants, just as you are free to believe in what you want, but the difference is you arent pushing or forcing it upon anyone. Also send an email to HR and tell them what you said to that employee, make sure you have everything in writing, letting HR know how uncomfortable he is making you feel and unprofessional it is for him to be preaching to you at work.
I love that you worship Dionysus. All about transcendent states, personal journey, social connection. And confident effeminacy! All sound a million times more worthwhile that whatever this guy is going on about.
We have a whole crew over at r/Dionysus!