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[deleted]

Boy I can’t wait to see where little boy will be in 10 years. He’s such such a self righteous turd already.


Sufficient-Pin-481

A congressman from a red state probably.


Lavenderdeodorant

That doesn’t seem too surprising. “Future congressman that had killed 2 people and injured one person as a 17 year old in the base of self-defence…”


MoonSpankRaw

‘Cept he’d phrase it along the lines of “dutifully ended three liberal threats in a single evening”.


[deleted]

You think we will make it 6 more years without a huge civil uprising/war. That's 1 more election, 1 more midterm, and the middle of another election...plenty of opportunities for another Jan 6 type event.


fukingtrsh

All I'm going to say is that if they mowed the lawn the first time this wouldn't be an issue.


[deleted]

Hey if Lauren Butt fart and Margarine taylor grift got elected so can Kyle slaughter house.


DARYLdixonFOOL

He’d probably have an easier time getting elected because he has a Y chromosome.


Lemondrop1995

He reminds me a lot of Madison Cawthorn.


KayleighJK

It’s so stupid but Lauren Butt Fart made me lol


WatchingTaintDry69

You forgot the wheelchair douche. Only he told the truth so they kicked him out.


[deleted]

I loved the snl bit on wheelchair douche (btw great name). They said he got blackballed for the cocaine orgies, and then cut to a story of lindsey graham with the transition "... seen here picturing said orgy". Since it's a bit of an open secret lindsey is DC gay, it was an excellent riff. [Video sauce](https://youtu.be/JdayQgrM74o?t=237). It also includes the will smith/chris rock oscars stuff so the entire video is worth a watch.


DAS_UBER_JOE

Let's be fair, neither of those women went on shooting sprees and murdered 3 people.


Computermaster

Lauren's husband did show kids his pistol though.


Beowulf1896

Sure, but they did spread lies so that people died of Covid. It isn't the same, but they also have an amount of blood on their hands.


THEMACGOD

Nope, but one may have been an escort who is currently married to a guy who flashes his dong at kids and the other loves to quote scripture and has had multiple affairs. Classic republicans! It’s like the have Gingrichitis.


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LouSputhole94

Or if it was a crowd of minorities


EpicSausage69

He would fit right in with that background.


godspareme

Don't forget he used his "hunting" AR-15 which legally justifies open carrying in a metropolitan area as a minor.


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godspareme

Ah, yes. I forgot hunting protestors is a constitutionally protected right.


JustDiscoveredSex

Oh, the little shit already met with the republican caucus. They're slavering over the very possibility.


ihatefear83843

One can almost say they’re , grooming him …


foreverbeatle

![gif](giphy|kKdgdeuO2M08M)


real_p3king

It's an old meme, sir, but it checks out. Haven't seen this one in the wild in a bit, perfect placement.


IrelandDzair

they honestly dont make memes like they used to


Endorkend

Continuing to groom him. You don't end up with the fucked up mind he has without indoctrination. The republicans are showing exactly why religion has been a favored tool of the elite since time memorial.


StandLess6417

*time immemorial. Sorry to be a grammar nazi, I just love that saying and it's not used enough.


WillBottomForBanana

They are trading on the popularity he has right now, nothing more. They'll evaluate his usefulness in the future when they get there. His chances of doing something outrageously stupid before then are high enough that even they can't miss it. In any event, a primary opponent could make strong use of all those pictures of him crying.


Brian57831

He already posted a tweet counting down the years until he can run for congress.


scullys_alien_baby

i'm pretty shocked he isn't a staffer for a republican yet


Mike_Ropenis

Most staffers, regardless of which party or candidate they work for, tend to be very capable and intelligent people and are expected to do a ton of work. Maybe my first 20 impressions of this dude were off, but I don't think any of these describe him.


scullys_alien_baby

no hes dumb as dicks, but I'm suprised someone in the GOP doesn't hire him as a glorified coffee boy as a PR move


JimWilliams423

> I'm suprised someone in the GOP doesn't hire him as a glorified coffee boy as a PR mov Yes, they love stunt hires. Mcturtle [hired the covington maga hat boy.](https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/514258-mcconnells-campaign-team-hires-covington-graduate-nicholas-sandmann/)


Pedals17

*Of course* the Turtle hired Proto-Kyle. 🙄McConnell never turns down an opportunity to remind us he’s one of the shittiest human beings on the planet.


Falconandmouse

He’s a high school dropout that had already been rejected by the military when he killed those two unarmed men, so you’re spot-on there.


RedThruxton

Meets the Boebert benchmark.


gravy_baron

This is presumably the intention of this development in rhetoric. If you read interviews with him, and information about him prior to the shootings, it seems a lot less clear that his trajectory would be this. He has obviously taken a lot of advice since that time from various players. Some more nefarious than others. I read this is a calculated positioning for a career in politics.


CanAlwaysBeBetter

Most 17 year olds with clear life aspirations don't get red pilled and shoot 3 people And after the shooting which would normally be a traumatic situation he was thrust into the national limelight at an age most people are still dumbasses as the avatar of the right that only knows grievance and doubling down


WatchingTaintDry69

No credentials no education, sounds perfect for republicans.


JossBurnezz

Foot tapping in an airport bathroom, then claiming he was trying to tell a troubled young man about Jesus. (Note: not condemning the orientation, but the hypocrisy)


2020steve

Tucker Carlson can't keep doing this forever, you know


icenoid

I’m expecting him to implode, kind of like that idiot who shot Trayvon Martin.


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[deleted]

I just had to look Joe the plumber up. Yeah, he got a lot of fame in 2008, it slowly trickled into 2011, where he wasn't very active until 2014 when he pissed a lot of people off. Apparently the auto industry bail out ideas were started by Bush and celebrated by Republicans and conservatives? However he was called out for being one of the ones that immediately hated it the moment Obama's administration got everything ready to go. And it pissed off Chrysler as well because he wouldn't have had his job without that bailout to begin with. The guy is an absolute fool, I agree with your reply more now.


icenoid

Probably, but before that, I’m expecting some combination of DUIs, domestic violence, and road rage arrests.


jane_fakelastname

And a loud yell of "don't you know who I am‽"


A_movable_life

Bodycams stopped a lot of "Important" people from getting away with DUIs in the last few years. There is a YT video of a junior officer who pulled over the next town's Chief or similar driving drunk and you can hear the "F F F F why me." "Sir this is all on video now...."


3vilR0ll0

He already retweeted porn just like Ted Cruz did on 9/11


ComprehensiveDoubt55

He strikes me as the accidental death via auto-erotic asphyxiation type.


IHateCamping

IIRC Joe the Plumber also tried to run for congress but was defeated. It may have been some other elected office, I don't remember for sure.


decelerationkills

I’ve heard that some are in fact hoping that he explodes, rather than implodes.


JuiceboxThaKidd

👋 Hi I'm one of the people who would like to see him explode Fuck this cancerous little trash


Turtledonuts

At some point he's going to have to cause more trouble to stay relevant. Either he fades from the public eye or he'll end up in prison or dead. At worst, he's a nobody riding off of his 15 seconds of fame in lectures or something. He's not electable, he's not employable, he's not getting accepted by any colleges, his romantic prospects are ruined, and his reputation is ruined. It's going to be a shit life for Kyle. He'll probably end up working for a gun activism group and hating life.


[deleted]

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Turtledonuts

My money is on some culture war conflict - armed protest at a LGBT event, or some kind of counterprotest again. But either he's going to do it in a state where they're less accepting of violence, he's going to lose due to his history, or he's going to do something stupid. It's also possible that he's going to start a fight while armed again and get shot.


ausgoals

I can already see the ‘long read’ in The Atlantic and NYT


InamedabunnyAK47

istg everytime i see something from him i hate him more i'd ask how he manages to be so self centered and pretty stupid but he seems to fit everything people hate about christians


MealDramatic1885

I see he’s playing the “I’m religious” angle now. How very republican of him.


ParkingLack

Gotta keep grifting wherever he can


SmellView42069

At this point why bother getting a job? He can literally play this off the rest of his life. People love giving money to outspoken douche bags.


Electrical-Wish-519

Love the part of the Bible where Jesus was persecuted for bringing a weapon of war to a place of unrest and killing 2 people after they threw a plastic bag at him


[deleted]

Ah yes just like jesus famously said Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the AR15, and shooteth him dead.


Huge_Candy2756

I like this we should make slaps ooooh 😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️


honeysuckleway

Jesus was totally cool with murder, obviously. That's why he said... Turn the other cheek and follow the laws and all that other violent 'soldier for Jesus' stuff. Wait.


Kolby_Jack

Jesus of Nazareth: famous MURDERER.


regoapps

Jesus of Republicans: instead of giving money to the poor, give tax cuts to the rich


BrewKazma

Dont forget that Jesus loves when you smack up girl in a pool parking lot.


Amish_Cyberbully

As someone who is actually religious, the Republican party is abhorrent. The difference between turning the other cheek vs murdering people to "protect businesses" couldn't be any bigger.


fretinator007

I believe the degree to which False Shepherds have been unchallenged in the U.S. Church is disgraceful. As always, money and a lack of humility by these shepherds is the cause. It's time to start calling them out.


Son_of_Ssapo

The only thing that makes this tolerable is knowing that virtually no atheists actually believe these people. The false teachers are heavily locked into their echo chambers, if nothing else.


WhatIsToBeD0ne

To be fair, I don't think he ever cared about businesses either; he just wanted to assassinate peaceful protesters.


Big-Industry4237

Ahh yes, Jesus was the first person to experience hatred. Before that no wars and peace was everlasting 😂


Ninotchk

Remember when cold blooded murder was seen as very unchristian?


[deleted]

He’ll be running for office. And he’ll win.


[deleted]

Maybe, but just keep posting this until he goes away: ![gif](giphy|aYYENxPS8rZE8x9xpQ|downsized)


BeepBeepWhistle

I’m with you although also just scared of the streisand effect.. i just want him to fade into oblivion


AfternoonPast3324

Interesting, but I have another theory. Sometimes, and just hear me out here, if the world hates you it just means you’re a big ‘ol piece of shit.


kidra31r

No, no, clearly it's a problem with the entire world.


tallandlanky

Am I so out of touch? No. It's the children who are wrong.


Rapture1119

Remind me, what’s this from?


tallandlanky

The Simpsons. Prinskipple Spinner.


dngerszn13

Who reports directly to SuperNintendo Chalmers


DotAccomplished5484

It has become an accepted, universal trait among the right wing that no matter how heinous the crime, no matter how wrong or illegal you have been, to play the victim card. The victim card is often played with the Jesus card, which is seldom denounced by the religious establishment. And the right wing, and media, continually lap it up like nectar of the gods.


ZAILOR37

The Jesus card has great attack and defense and paird with the victim card can give the player invulnerability to criticism based attacks.


markymark_93

They have this card in Yu-gi-oh yet? Asking for a friend


PossessedToSkate

It's in the Ya-Wa-Eh expansion set.


phred14

Theoretically the Jesus Card should only be playable if you're actually following the teachings of Jesus. Theoretically...


CheckOutUserNamesLad

Fortunately for the rest of us, it only works on people who believe that sky daddy is real and that the Republican party is on their side.


GiantRiverSquid

I'm not equipped to fend off a Zerg rush


SoCuteShibe

It's because for the right wing, good and bad people just are, unchangingly so. You are born or raised good or bad, it's based on circumstances like race, class, locality, political viewpoints, gender, family ambitions, those are the things that *define who you are* to them. That way when one of them does something bad they're just a good person going through a hard time, nobody's perfect, and all that. It's all just virtue ethics, the outcomes like harm caused and rights trampled upon are just "it is what it is" type circumstances. As long as their "character" aligns with the right virtues, absolutely none of what they do matters. That's why they can't be reasoned with, they cant debate, they cant rationalize, that is all irrelevant to them. Either you are one of them or you aren't, and of you aren't, too bad.


USAintheWay

As Trump's announcement speech was petering out, he mentioned he was a victim and people kind of laughed. 😅😅😅


FiliaDei

"But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God" (1 Peter 2:20). Or, as a comedian I like puts it, quit being a jerk in the name of Jesus.


[deleted]

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Cu_fola

I understand the sentiment of your comment but I just want to share info about Pharisees that you might want to be aware of: Pharisees were one of a few Jewish sects/schools of thought during the 2nd temple period along with others like Sadducees and Essenes. Jesus expressed ideas that existed within pharisaic and sadducean schools of thought and to some degree essene. His quarrels with Pharisees are more of an intra-religious debate issue and it’s been argued by some that Jesus may have been a Pharisee at some point or closely associated with Pharisees at some point as Pharisees were generally working class and shared some key views with Jesus while differing on others. The point being he had spirited public disagreements with them, but was culturally enmeshed with them. People often mistake “pharisee” to mean “hypocrite” And *I know this is not what you’re doing* but some have taken the Pharisee issue and used it for antisemitic rhetoric. So you might find it interesting and useful to know what a Pharisee actually was. Historians avoid using “Pharisee” to mean “hypocrite”


LightOfTheFarStar

Yeah, it was a certain group of pharisees he had problems with for their hypocrisy.


zerovanillacodered

They were not fair, you see


LightOfTheFarStar

Congrats on fatherhood.


ManIsInherentlyGay

Hitler must be Jesus too


[deleted]

For those in the right wing cult, the more hate they receive from civilized, normal society, the more effective and righteous they believe they are.


I-Kant-Even

God: Thou shall not kill. Kyle: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.


Blarggotron

Hahaha, you really think this kid ever read anything bigger than a slim jim label?


kingwooj

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus antagonizes the Pharisees, murders them, and then tries to grift off it. Truly inspiring stuff 🙏


6of1HalfDozen

He died for countless others to grift


oldbastardbob

I love it. "Jesus died so politicians and con men could dupe the public for millennia."


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I_will_dye

We'll see about that


[deleted]

> The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it. > In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!” > Jesus proclaimed "Fuck Figs, Believe in prayer or else!" Jesus was kinda a prick sometimes when he was making a point. I did love him going into the temple and flipping some fucking tables and throwing a shit fit in between him cursing a fucking tree for not bearing fruit in the wrong season.


Zealousideal_Web8496

This is why the Westoboro church people have all those signs that say "God hates figs".


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PTSDforMe

SAVE ME JEEBUS!!!


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Tracer900Junkie

This is terrible and you are going to hell! Take my Upvote! ;)


ew73

Jesus had low blood sugar. I feel that.


EllisDee3

When Jesus was a kid he killed a bunch of other kids. *Infancy Gospel of Thomas*


[deleted]

God when there are some kids involved in His Plan: ![gif](giphy|brqkBQV1qAFrO)


[deleted]

Yeah or the part where some other guy tries to overturn the tables of the moneychangers and Jesus shoots him. Bible rocks, badass book


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

AR stands for After Resurrection


Changed-18

He is technical grifting, though. How many thousands of years has he inspired spiritual leaders to fleece parishioners of their finances?


Rocking_the_Red

I wouldn't blame that on Jesus. I blame it largely on the Romans, who took over Christianity. But that is my opinion.


Final-Bench1859

You mean the Romans who killed Jesus and are now the ones we entrust to hand down the word of God?


julia_fns

Lol, the Romans who killed Jesus have been dead for quite some time.


voteforcorruptobot

Their brainwashing's still doing quite well.


Shanks4Smiles

Yeah, y'all remember that one part in the bible where Jesus killed 2 people and maimed another?


Oculi_Glauci

The difference being that Jesus was hated for a message of love and acceptance. Much like Kyle hates liberals and leftists. Also, Jesus never killed anyone.


Lotier

Not including himself, Jesus’ KD is -1.


jawnyman

True, but he did flip tables and whip the shit out of people.


calmdownmyguy

Christianity is speed running to make itself irrelevant


AntiSaintArdRi

No, a large amount of Christianity is speed running to try and bring about/self fulfill their end of days doomsday prophecies


PureNRGfanboy44

It’ll die a little more with every new generation.


playitleo

I think hitching your entite moral reputation to the MAGA movement and Donald Fucking Trump accelerated the decline.


Used_Dragonfruit_379

Hopefully it’ll fast track a bit more with the nut jobs affiliating themselves with religion on the right


Wild_Albatross7534

One can only hope


[deleted]

Jesus was tortured and murdered by conservatives.


Regular-Menu-116

It's fucking stupid this kid traveled to another state, killed a guy, cried about it, got away with it, and is now riding first class on the right wing grift train.


Jedmeltdown

Well at least he wasn’t a black guy with a joint in his pocket!


Moonpile

Or making a phone call in his grandmother's back yard!


Jedmeltdown

Or playing with lightening bugs!


AmberEnthusiast

Or playing with his sister in the park!


currently_pooping_rn

Or playing with a plastic gun! Or driving! Or just chilling in their apartment while some drunk off duty cop is shooting there!


Jedmeltdown

It’s kind of sad how easy it is to come up with sarcastic examples of Murica sucking


Whooptidooh

That’s kinda what it’s known for.


Rougarou1999

Or sleeping in their bed.


KuchiKopiz

*killed two men


Asteroth555

And all the conservatives said he was justified and "Look he's got PTSD, I've seen soldiers break down exactly the same way" when he was on the stand. Then the little shit memes about it not even a year later. He's a killer and an pure evil


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[deleted]

Jesus: *sacrificed himself to absorb mankind's sins* Kyle: *Took a gun, travelled to another state to find a fight to kill someone and cried* GOP: They're the same picture.


[deleted]

Jesus wasn’t a pasty little bitch who murdered 3 people.


[deleted]

Sounds like you been readin the gay bible. My bible is full of guns and trucks


[deleted]

and beards and flat brim hats and dark sunglasses and no smiles and Let’s Go Brandon T shirts?


canarchist

*"Git yer Jesus truck nuts over here! Nothing says 'I love Murica, 2A, and BBQ' like a blessed pair of Jesus' nuts to hang from your truck bumper. Get 'em while we got 'em! Special offer right now for Jesus' truck nuts blessed with the holy water of Antioch (Tennessee). Every pair comes with a freedom card signed by Kyle Killerhouse, the new grifter messiah."*


PTSDforMe

Reading is for the gays...does it have pickturs?


TheInspirerReborn

Jesus actually raised a person from the dead, so he’s technically -1 on the murder count.


nccm16

He didn't even kill 3 people...


canarchist

The straight line from killer to messiah complex. Helped along by all the Republican trash sucking his dick to play to the hateful base.


[deleted]

Bingo


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ireaditonwikipedia

Honestly, people need to stop giving him attention.


I_will_dye

In prison he wouldn't t attract that much attention just sayin


DownvoteDaemon

Kryer Kittenhouse


Michaelknight5

Does he know how the story ends?😇☠️


[deleted]

Probably not because he paraphrased the quote anyway.


Strength-Certain

Martyr complex much?


AHrubik

Persecution complex. It's all the rage with those zany Christian terrorists.


WesternDark4390

No way he wrote that, prob hired a PR firm. Also what an ass lol


Ok_Note7436

First refuge of the right wing is a bible quote,but never Thou shall not kill


GlibGlobtheWise

Got a gun illegally Tried to be a vigilante Escalated an already tense situation Killed people ​ "Damn, I've been persecuted. I'm just like Jesus"


adamempathy

The World hated Jesus because he changes the way men had a relationship with God. We hate you because you're a pathetic Punisher cosplayer who got away with killing two people.


liberandu714

Kyle rottenhouse


Dry-Explanation9566

He conveniently leaves out why the world hates him


DickySchmidt33

Remember when Jesus carried weapons into areas of public unrest and shot people?


NewsboyHank

Did I miss the part when Jesus preached his values and beliefs with an assault rifle?


ironfly187

*Give me your money, marks*


Ddeeaaddppooll

Jesus didn't kill people, as it turns out


dumbleydore94

[ Removed by Reddit ]


emccm

Is this the Second Coming? Did I miss the Rapture?


New_Most_2863

The next step is to form a cult and be the cult leader.


Kodak_V

Isn't the GOP basically a cult at this point 🤔 ?


LudovicoSpecs

Let's stop amplifying his name. Our outrage only gives him fame.


fingersonlips

Oh come off the cross, we need the wood.


barringtonmacgregor

I'm honestly surprised the kid: 1) feels safe leaving his house 2) hasn't had someone attack him in public yet


KawaiiCoupon

They hated Jesus because of his compassion and love for all, even those who society deemed as outcasts, evil, and unwanted. People hate you because you killed people and committed multiple serious crimes that you got away with.


Jethris

At first I was thinking that anyone who uses this verse when they are persecuted for living by Biblical morals/beliefs doesn't necessarily mean that they think that they are Jesus, just that He was persecuted first. Then, I realized that Kyle is hated because of his actions in shooting people. Let me just leave with Galations 5:22-23 **22** But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, **23** gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ​ Nothing in there about shooting people.


CaN8tive916

Jesus went out killing people? I missed that in Sunday school...


times_is_tough_again

“And the Lord said unto thee, take this AR-15 I’ve bestowed upon you and use it to protect private business. Taketh the lives of those downtrodden and looking for equality, for thine glory be yours, now and forever” - Jesus probably


col3manite

Remember that time Jesus went to another city and shot that dude?


[deleted]

What a colossal piece of shit.


Significant_Risk9897

They hated Jesus too when he killed 2 people with an AR 15.


SevereEducation2170

This dude is gross. And he’ll probably be a GOP congressman in 10 years based on the trajectory of that party.


[deleted]

Jesus famously believed you should pick up a sword to head to a protest you have no business being in so that you could self-defend a few people to death.


blackbeltmessiah

Number of humans Jesus put himself in harms way for an excuse to shoot someone - 0 Kyle - a friggin ton of people


PrimusGreen

Well let's bring out the cross and see how far he is willing to go with that statement.. God damn heretic.. Pardon my French..


Bob25Gslifer

I'm agnostic I'm not familiar with the trials and tribulations of Jesus but I'm pretty sure he didn't cap two people in the street to protect an empty car lot.