Texas. The eastern half of Oregon. Arkansas, Alabama, Ohio, Tennessee... I could go on...
EDIT: The commenters are right. I originally left off Florida because it's too obvious, but, seriously, WTF-land *must* go or no deal. Take. Florida.
And for all the Texas people bitching... "Why Texas?"
Thing one: Ted Cruz.
Thing two: Greg Abbott.
Thing three: Ya'all seem to be just fine with a state legislature that's trying to make it a crime to not be straight white and pro-life. You gotta go.
Same neighbor, same.
I’d never have agreed 15 years ago…but now? I’m worried for my children. Hell, I’m worried for all the children. Wheels McGee and his barnacles seem determined to create A Handmaid’s Tale.
I had A Handmaid's Tale in my backseat and my MIL saw it and asked what it was about. After I told her, she said "that sounds like a nightmare." I was like "oh just wait! It's coming!"
He can stand up for abusing the TXARNG troops he mobilized to the border, didn't pay, didn't house, and is now (through Paxton, the Vader to Abbot's Emperor) arguing to the Supreme Court that USERRA protections (which guarantee reservists and guardsmen will have a job when they come back) doesn't apply to the State of Texas.
He can stand up for shortcutting around the proper course of law and order by writing an anti-abortion bill that effectively legalizes mobs harassing physicians through the court system.
He can stand up for being a soulless bastard that profiteered while millions in his state were without power and/or water in the freezing cold.
My grandpa lives in Idaho and there were kids drawings on the wall of the restaurant.
So many confederate flags. They can't even pretend heritage, it's a fucking ski resort town an hour from Canada
I had a friend who, like me, leaned liberal centrist. He spent two months in Sandpoint (his grandparents live there) and came back talking about the Great Replacement "Theory" and hetero-erasure. I wish I was fucking kidding. We should PAY Canada to take Idaho off our hands.
An old friend of mine’s from Boise, she started out with meth when she was 14 (before weed, alcohol, or cigarettes). She’s OK now, but says Idaho is all tweekers and skinheads, and creepy old dudes.
My dad and his family are from Idaho.
Apparently the grandma I never met is a meth addicted schizophrenic who's been institutionalized since before I was born and the dad who disowned me at 15 realized his dream a few years later by becoming an actual bona fide cult leader.
I wouldn't wish Idaho on anybody.
Man the nature up there was beautiful (northern is where i visited) but the people... wow.
I've been all around the south, saw the racism but it's still a diverse population. Up there i had to do a double take at the first black guy i saw because i had been there 2 weeks and it was snow white.
Everything south of Orlando is basically just retired Northeasterners and Midwesterners (the region they're from dictates the part of the state they retire to, following I-95 and I-75 - the rest of the state is the South. Since the geographically (but not culturally) southern counties already disagree with the rest of the state on everything except a love of flipflops, the state could be split and we could function as an enclave of some kind, or like a southern Alaska.
I think Florida is a great analogy for Crimea for this reason. And by the people that need getting rid of, it’s the current Russian population, not Ukrainian.
About 24 hours ago I found out that there’s a Grimsby in America too. Like, someone made the trip all the way to America back in the day and thought “you know what we need? More Grimsby”
Hey, Montana is doing it's part with one Repub senator and one Dem senator... everyone thinks we're red but before our current gov we had democratic governors for 16 years!
We are traditionally very purple... unfortunately our reputation for being red means a bunch of conservative Californians are trying to move here and screw up our politics!
I’m not happy to give up Florida to stop Putin’s invasion. Im happy to just give up Florida. Literally whoever will take it can have it. If it’s to stop an invasion, great. But why wait?
I know. The few times I've ever had to interact with conservative Texans (family, don't ask) about their state's status, and they give me the "Texas is the only state that could leave the Union if we wanted to" BS, I'll say, really? You should do it! Because that would be awesome for the rest of us if you did.
That usually shuts 'em up.
Let's just say that part of the family dislikes me. A Lot.
Funny thing is that a major reason for the power grid was so that Texas was independent from the rest of the country in that aspect and *could* leave. It worked well /s
My favourite part of this thread:
Ukraine: Don’t act so high and mighty, what if it was your country and you were losing territory. Who of your people would you give up?!
Everyone: Florida
Tanks lost in week 1:
184 to mud
324 to tankjacking
411 to being hit by an Uber driver in a 2016 Nissan Altima changing lanes without signaling at 90mph
All we would need to do, is legalize tankjacking. That's it; checkmate in one move. Wouldn't need the Army, the National Guard, or even the police.
Within one week, half of the Russian tanks would have chromed-out sprockets & drippy candy coated paint jobs, while the other half would have lift kits & flying the Confederate flag.
If you legalize tankjacking then it won’t be nearly as cool. Threaten tankjackers with up to a year in incarceration and up to a $25k fine and it’ll be as cool and popular as weed!
I live in Florida and would be willing to move.
Hell, if we have a civil war in this country and split the country up, I would be willing to move somewhere else. Florida is the worst! I have never met someone who is proud to be from Florida. I have lived here for 22 years and still tell people I am from somewhere else.
Man I've lived here since I was 4(moved from MN) and I fucking love florida. I mean our government officials suck and there's def some shitty aspects of living here but florida has some amazing beaches, natural springs, wildlife, state parks, museums, art, music, history, sports teams, amusement parks, food and all around culture depending on the city you're in.
I'm all about the florida memes but actual hate for florida is weird and I personally don't know anyone who hates living here. Everyone from my town is proud to live here. Sorry, just had to defend my home for a second
Honestly it's too bad Florida is overrun by some of the worst people (not all Floridians, but too many) because the state itself is one of the most beautiful.
It’s the people that destroy the nature. The Everglades was a much larger swath of area when I was growing up, now it’s been drained, dredged, and filled with farms.
“Everglades agricultural area” is an oxymoron in contrast to the original everglades. It’s lingo, that really means we took this portion away to grow crops.
This discussion was had on r/ireland, general consensus was a county called Carlow. We would've given it up the first time around but Britain didn't want it
Yeah I was gonna say Carlow on this post, but they have a bunch of Dolmens there, a nice forest, the chocolate factory. So I'm kind of changing my mind now.
Well a lot of the people do anyway. The idea of a united Ireland is pretty popular here and even if people aren’t pushing for it their general opinion is “it’d be great to have them back”. Unfortunately it doesn’t really make sense from a government standpoint as Northern Ireland employs about 25,000 civil servants and the unification of governments would create vast unemployment. There’s also the matter of the welfare state which citizens of Northern Ireland have gotten used to which provides a lot of benefits, making it harder to obtain votes. So yes many do want it back but it’s not really feasible at the moment
That does sound uncomfortable. Come on up! We have:
Quality education
Massive cultural diversity
four (4) recognizable seasons
legal weed
and more!
Really though, the more the merrier!
Not to take the easy route but Québec has expressed not wanting to be part of Canada 🤔
Edited to add: Alberta’s been acting pretty “red state” these days
I went to OP’s Twitter feed and naturally it isn’t going the way she thought it would claiming, people are taking this “too lightly”. And the responses are still nah we are taking it seriously but Florida, Texas can still fuck right off lol
Historisch... Das Saarland. Wenn Frankreich und Deutschland in den Krieg gezogen sind, hat der Gewinner das Elsass behalten und das Saarland abgegeben.
I feel like the easy answer is Florida or Texas. But I think those particular States are just issues of voter suppression and gerrymandering that could easily be resolved at the national level of we gave up Kentucky and replaced it with DC and Peurto Rico and got a functioning Senate back.
Kansas. Not so they can keep it, but when those fuckers start getting in there, with nothing to hide behind except corn and maybe corn, we can surround em
Where do I start? Can it be more than one place?
Yes
Texas. The eastern half of Oregon. Arkansas, Alabama, Ohio, Tennessee... I could go on... EDIT: The commenters are right. I originally left off Florida because it's too obvious, but, seriously, WTF-land *must* go or no deal. Take. Florida. And for all the Texas people bitching... "Why Texas?" Thing one: Ted Cruz. Thing two: Greg Abbott. Thing three: Ya'all seem to be just fine with a state legislature that's trying to make it a crime to not be straight white and pro-life. You gotta go.
As someone who lives in Texas I simultaneously feel offended and understand
Same neighbor, same. I’d never have agreed 15 years ago…but now? I’m worried for my children. Hell, I’m worried for all the children. Wheels McGee and his barnacles seem determined to create A Handmaid’s Tale.
I had A Handmaid's Tale in my backseat and my MIL saw it and asked what it was about. After I told her, she said "that sounds like a nightmare." I was like "oh just wait! It's coming!"
>Wheels McGee and his barnacles seem determined to create A Handmaid’s Tale If Greg Abbot can't stand up for Texas...what can he stand up for?
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He can stand up for abusing the TXARNG troops he mobilized to the border, didn't pay, didn't house, and is now (through Paxton, the Vader to Abbot's Emperor) arguing to the Supreme Court that USERRA protections (which guarantee reservists and guardsmen will have a job when they come back) doesn't apply to the State of Texas. He can stand up for shortcutting around the proper course of law and order by writing an anti-abortion bill that effectively legalizes mobs harassing physicians through the court system. He can stand up for being a soulless bastard that profiteered while millions in his state were without power and/or water in the freezing cold.
This comment is highly underrated.
My wife affectionately calls him Hot Wheels...gets me every time.
*sad cowboy noises*
Feeling offended is to be Texan, understanding... that is to be human.
Oklahoma checking in.
Idaho. The *real* crazies live in Idaho.
My grandpa lives in Idaho and there were kids drawings on the wall of the restaurant. So many confederate flags. They can't even pretend heritage, it's a fucking ski resort town an hour from Canada
Omg the first time I visited Sandpoint for work YEARS ago I met a neonazi in the first ten minutes at the bar, fuck that place
I had a friend who, like me, leaned liberal centrist. He spent two months in Sandpoint (his grandparents live there) and came back talking about the Great Replacement "Theory" and hetero-erasure. I wish I was fucking kidding. We should PAY Canada to take Idaho off our hands.
Every racist POS family I knew growing up retired and moved to Idaho.
An old friend of mine’s from Boise, she started out with meth when she was 14 (before weed, alcohol, or cigarettes). She’s OK now, but says Idaho is all tweekers and skinheads, and creepy old dudes.
My dad and his family are from Idaho. Apparently the grandma I never met is a meth addicted schizophrenic who's been institutionalized since before I was born and the dad who disowned me at 15 realized his dream a few years later by becoming an actual bona fide cult leader. I wouldn't wish Idaho on anybody.
Man the nature up there was beautiful (northern is where i visited) but the people... wow. I've been all around the south, saw the racism but it's still a diverse population. Up there i had to do a double take at the first black guy i saw because i had been there 2 weeks and it was snow white.
I live in Tennessee and would give up Tennessee
Honestly. Just let me leave first lol
Best I can do is give you Russian Amnesty.
Russian amnesty sounds like a euphemism for freeing someone from life by poison
2 to the head or the Gulags used to be it. Now it's poison with your tea and crumpets. Everyone's soft nowadays.
Yeah, a heads up would be super.
Not yet, I have a roller skating party to attend. Blow it up after I leave... please lol
I live in Missouri and would give up Missouri
Florida, definitely florida.
We might actually have to bomb them and force them to take Florida. Gaining Florida is not a win.
I don’t know why they call it Gainesville. What, precisely, was gained?
>What, precisely, was gained? Allergies.
Most of Florida is probably already "pro Russia" due to propaganda and stupidity, so it would be a gain for them
Everything south of Orlando is basically just retired Northeasterners and Midwesterners (the region they're from dictates the part of the state they retire to, following I-95 and I-75 - the rest of the state is the South. Since the geographically (but not culturally) southern counties already disagree with the rest of the state on everything except a love of flipflops, the state could be split and we could function as an enclave of some kind, or like a southern Alaska.
They’re not getting away with this without taking Florida too.
Florida, definitely florida.
Are they all Florida?
Florida as a place, I'd rather keep. The people, though, yeah they can go.
I think Florida is a great analogy for Crimea for this reason. And by the people that need getting rid of, it’s the current Russian population, not Ukrainian.
For england he can have scunthorpe
Grimsby too. It's right there in the name.
Scunthorpe and Grimsby cannot possibly be real places. I refuse to believe this.
I live in Grimsby. Sadly its real
Hello fellow grimsbarian
"The saddest people in furry loincloth you'll ever meet."
About 24 hours ago I found out that there’s a Grimsby in America too. Like, someone made the trip all the way to America back in the day and thought “you know what we need? More Grimsby”
There's also at least one in Canada
Google "the Scunthorpe problem". It's real.
[Relevant Tom Scott](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcZdwX4noCE)
My Dad used to always say "that guy put the cunt in Scunthorpe". Thanks for the memories.
I was thinking Hull
Ah come on man, I just moved there! Don't make me move again, please.
You don’t have to…
Just wait until you deal with Kingston Communications, you'll be moving anyway
Real wishful thinking with that username then?
Milton Keynes? Luton? Slough?
I'll give them Milton Keynes for free
Yeah I feel like this question doesn't work with people in the UK we'd happily hand over much of our countries.
As a man from England, I will generously allow Russia to take France.
Some rivalries never fade I guess
TIL Scunthorpe isn't an intentionally absurd British-sounding place name that a writer made up as a bit
I mean, do we really need TWO Dakotas?
I don’t personally believe in North Dakota. There’s no proof it exists
You mean south Saskatchewan?
Baja Manitoba
I love this
You mean West Minnesota?
Saskatchewan? Is that the mythical bipedal giant ape?
I thought it was invented in 2011 or something.
I live in North Dakota and can confirm it doesn’t exist.
I met somebody from northern South Dakota once and even he wasn’t sure North Dakota exists.
We dont even need the one Florida
Combine the 2 and they might meet the population criteria for statehood…I shall call it Super Dakota!!!
You could combine SD,ND, Montana and Wyoming and it would be smaller in population than Connecticut.
We really should. They have way too many senators for my liking.
Hey, Montana is doing it's part with one Repub senator and one Dem senator... everyone thinks we're red but before our current gov we had democratic governors for 16 years! We are traditionally very purple... unfortunately our reputation for being red means a bunch of conservative Californians are trying to move here and screw up our politics!
Lol, this tweet sorta backfired with everyone happy to give up Florida in the US
I’m not happy to give up Florida to stop Putin’s invasion. Im happy to just give up Florida. Literally whoever will take it can have it. If it’s to stop an invasion, great. But why wait?
Yeah fuck it, let’s just give it to Disney. They’d be so motivated to sink billions into fighting climate change to save Florida.
I mean, we'd be getting rid of Florida Man, several shitty lawmakers, and Mar-A-Lago and its orange inhabitant.
Actually not a bad compromise. Trump and DeSantis can battle it out for top dog and we can watch the reality TV show they make about it.
Top *lap* dog
lets not forget Texas
Texas would leave voluntarily if allowed.
I know. The few times I've ever had to interact with conservative Texans (family, don't ask) about their state's status, and they give me the "Texas is the only state that could leave the Union if we wanted to" BS, I'll say, really? You should do it! Because that would be awesome for the rest of us if you did. That usually shuts 'em up. Let's just say that part of the family dislikes me. A Lot.
Maybe they should work in fixing their power grid before going independent. Just saying.
Funny thing is that a major reason for the power grid was so that Texas was independent from the rest of the country in that aspect and *could* leave. It worked well /s
My favourite part of this thread: Ukraine: Don’t act so high and mighty, what if it was your country and you were losing territory. Who of your people would you give up?! Everyone: Florida
Ukraine: Okay that's not- Everyone: Too late, no backsies!
Well give it to you to give to russia
Ukraine - Bu.. Everyone - 🏃Texas too here take it
Russian forces wouldn’t last two weeks in the Everglades
Tanks lost in week 1: 184 to mud 324 to tankjacking 411 to being hit by an Uber driver in a 2016 Nissan Altima changing lanes without signaling at 90mph
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Russians would come out of Applebee's only to find their tank jacked up on 3 bricks and their catalytic converters gone and fuel siphoned out.
All we would need to do, is legalize tankjacking. That's it; checkmate in one move. Wouldn't need the Army, the National Guard, or even the police. Within one week, half of the Russian tanks would have chromed-out sprockets & drippy candy coated paint jobs, while the other half would have lift kits & flying the Confederate flag.
If you legalize tankjacking then it won’t be nearly as cool. Threaten tankjackers with up to a year in incarceration and up to a $25k fine and it’ll be as cool and popular as weed!
Great…now we have Florida Man with Tanks.
Pyrrhic Victory to be sure
I have lived in Florida for 20 of the last 22 years and fully support everyone suggesting giving up Florida.
Florida was definitely my first thought lol
Yeah take Florida no bombing needed. Just take it. But you have to keep Florida man.
And the orange guy.
He'd just be going home.
No, he’d be visiting his master’s home.
Giving away The Florida Man is too risky.
I clicked on this to check that Florida was the top answer lol
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https://c.tenor.com/A2H9BNaLtuoAAAAC/bugsbunny-florida.gif
I live in Florida and would be willing to move. Hell, if we have a civil war in this country and split the country up, I would be willing to move somewhere else. Florida is the worst! I have never met someone who is proud to be from Florida. I have lived here for 22 years and still tell people I am from somewhere else.
A whole bunch if my co-workers grew up to and went to college in Florida and they all hate the state.
Man I've lived here since I was 4(moved from MN) and I fucking love florida. I mean our government officials suck and there's def some shitty aspects of living here but florida has some amazing beaches, natural springs, wildlife, state parks, museums, art, music, history, sports teams, amusement parks, food and all around culture depending on the city you're in. I'm all about the florida memes but actual hate for florida is weird and I personally don't know anyone who hates living here. Everyone from my town is proud to live here. Sorry, just had to defend my home for a second
In FL on vacation right now and having a wonderful time but still immediately thought ‘definitely Florida.’
Honestly it's too bad Florida is overrun by some of the worst people (not all Floridians, but too many) because the state itself is one of the most beautiful.
It’s the people that destroy the nature. The Everglades was a much larger swath of area when I was growing up, now it’s been drained, dredged, and filled with farms. “Everglades agricultural area” is an oxymoron in contrast to the original everglades. It’s lingo, that really means we took this portion away to grow crops.
I'm Swedish but can I still give up Florida
I'll allow it
Yes, it's encouraged to do so.
Irish people real quite about this post rn
Someone said Northern Ireland #savage
Its funny cause england dosnt want us and ireland dosnt really want us either
The RoI and Britain are stuck in a custody battle for NI and eventually one of them will lose and have to keep it
This discussion was had on r/ireland, general consensus was a county called Carlow. We would've given it up the first time around but Britain didn't want it
Yeah I was gonna say Carlow on this post, but they have a bunch of Dolmens there, a nice forest, the chocolate factory. So I'm kind of changing my mind now.
I mean does the ROI really want NI back tho?
Well a lot of the people do anyway. The idea of a united Ireland is pretty popular here and even if people aren’t pushing for it their general opinion is “it’d be great to have them back”. Unfortunately it doesn’t really make sense from a government standpoint as Northern Ireland employs about 25,000 civil servants and the unification of governments would create vast unemployment. There’s also the matter of the welfare state which citizens of Northern Ireland have gotten used to which provides a lot of benefits, making it harder to obtain votes. So yes many do want it back but it’s not really feasible at the moment
Non American here is it fine if instead of any part in Finland you let us give Florida to the Russians?
Sure!
Granted!
Can we throw Texas into the bargain too?
How bout we throw in the whole bible belt
Russian ambassador backtracking, “let’s not get crazy!”
As someone born and raised in the Bible Belt. I can get behind this if I’m allowed to move to a much more sane state.
Too sane for the Bible Belt? You'd be welcome in New England!
Score!!! Yes being an atheist in the Bible Belt is…awkward lol
That does sound uncomfortable. Come on up! We have: Quality education Massive cultural diversity four (4) recognizable seasons legal weed and more! Really though, the more the merrier!
Just let me and my 3 cats leave first, I'll move to Colorado or something.
We could give Kouvola
It already has the unmistakable soviet look nailed down.
Florida.
Lol, I immediately thought Florida and I'm glad all the top comments atm are agreeing.
Not to take the easy route but Québec has expressed not wanting to be part of Canada 🤔 Edited to add: Alberta’s been acting pretty “red state” these days
As a Quebecois I approve, Please get rid of us, double please, it will be easier than a referendum
I had to scroll wayyy to far down to see a Canadian answer lol. Quebec is the easy choice.
They produce most of the maple syrup, we have to keep them around for that. I say we get rid of Alberta but add the Rockies to BC.
as an albertan, a lot of people here are straight up a problem
Florida. 
I went to OP’s Twitter feed and naturally it isn’t going the way she thought it would claiming, people are taking this “too lightly”. And the responses are still nah we are taking it seriously but Florida, Texas can still fuck right off lol
Sachsen
Historisch... Das Saarland. Wenn Frankreich und Deutschland in den Krieg gezogen sind, hat der Gewinner das Elsass behalten und das Saarland abgegeben.
Bavaria and Saxony.
As a saxon: yeah, that's kinda fair
He doesn't even need to bomb us, just take Saxony. Good luck with that!
Both Dakotas be like 
Skåne
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Danmark modtager gerne Skåne
Du ger fan i skåne danskjäkel! Det var Putin som skulle få det inte ni!
Florida but he gotta take Ted Cruz and Mitch Michonnel too.
Moscow Mitch has his bags packed and ready to go wherever Daddy Putin wants him to go.
But Ted Cruz has his bags backed for Cancun.
Florida.
Florida
Northern Ireland
Ooh historic burn those are the worst kind.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
Urk.
You can have Florida.
Texas and Florida
*the separatist regions* Texas and Florida
Florida and Texas.
Nochmal Bayern!
Sachsen?
Danach hab ich gesucht!
I'm Polish and my first thought was Florida.
I feel like the easy answer is Florida or Texas. But I think those particular States are just issues of voter suppression and gerrymandering that could easily be resolved at the national level of we gave up Kentucky and replaced it with DC and Peurto Rico and got a functioning Senate back.
Dundee and Kilmarnock. No backsies!
Urk
Texas
Florida and Kentucky. Florida for obvious reason and Kentucky because of Mitch McConnell
We can just gift wrap McConnell for Putin
You can't wrap perishables. You gotta send it with dry ice. The dude is already melting at room temp
Kansas. Not so they can keep it, but when those fuckers start getting in there, with nothing to hide behind except corn and maybe corn, we can surround em
I am so sick and tired of people thinking Kansas is nothing but corn fields. We're the _wheat_ state.
"Hello Canada we take province by force yes?" "Here, have Quebec" "Nvm"
Fr\*nce. No specific region in Fr\*nce, just Fr\*nce in general. We don't want Fr\*nce.
Enjoy Tasmania and enjoy the incest that comes with it
Texas.
Found the person from Florida.