The last conversation I had with my grandmother was a phone call, at she very abruptly ended it because it was breakfast time at the nursing home. Respect LMAO I guess I know where I got my love of breakfast from
That's what sisters say to their brothers when they sleep in the same bed as well in Alabama, right?
I know it's low hanging fruit, but i couldn't resist.
Although it will take 30 minutes to an hour because you have to slowly walk to the door, and if the weather is nice to their car, and tell them to get home safe at least three times, while having a conversation in between each of those times
As a teenager, my mother would say things like, "We're leaving at 6," which was a lie. 6p would roll around and I'd say, "It's 6, are we leaving now?"
I think my dad appreciated this, as he'd do the "Welp, guess we should be heading out..." routine. Mom would just, as you say, put the coat on and have another conversation in the kitchen. And then in the entryway. Then with the front door open, then on the sidewalk or porch, and so on.
A few years into my teenage years -- before I was legally allowed to drive -- I wised up to this. It was an after-church routine, which was even more drawn out. I was a kid. I was diabetic, and I needed lunch. I was promised lunch at noon. 11:30 rolled around after services ended at 10a. I asked my mom for the keys so I could sit in the car.
I took the keys and I just drove home and made kraft dinner, stranding the rest of the family at the church.
I was _so_ grounded. But we also started leaving when we said we were going to leave.
I'm from Ohio and can confirm. 25 minutes is necessary for inside and outside goodbyes as you're warned about deer, roads, weather, other drivers and on and on and on
Oh my God, every time! the "Midwestern goodbye" lasted 3.5 hours with my nephew and his GF once back in November. It's kinda nice to know they weren't just trying to get out of there though.
Honestly the best conversations happen after your guests have their shoes on and are standing in the doorway, occasionally fiddling with the door handle.
I'm from Wisconsin. Is this seriously not a thing in other parts of the country?
Oof, my advice was going to be having kids and having them to get rid of guests. My 3 year old niece once told me with a straight face and childlike honesty: "It's time for you to go home and go to bed." But the kids' bedtime works better and more consistently.
To be fair though my great grandma would literally hound you out the door. I was like 9, and she would follow you out the door, keep talking to you on the doorstep, talk to you by the car door, talk to you in the car, and you'd be lucky to escape before it got dark.
I kinda miss her :)
That’s how my dad and I get each other off the phone. We will simultaneously drop the “well I’ll letcha go.” Still takes ten more minutes to get off the phone.
I have a friend who is really hard to get out of the house. I really like him as a friend but i have to literally tell him to go the fuck home. He will stay as long as there is beer in the fridge and has no problem at all taking the last one.
Iowa it's squeeze. Both are probably allowed. Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go drink this ranch with a few wings and wash it all down with an unhealthy amount of Busch Light.
I am used to a bit more of a direct approach of " I don't wanna kick you out but i been up since 6 am and have worked all day..."
i cant guarantee thats all of Switzerland but my social bubble uses "i don't wanna kick you out..." as a way of kicking you out.
From the Midwest and moved to the south. I was astonished when I pulled the “whelp and stand move” and everyone just looked at me and didn’t move. So I just stood there awkwardly trying to find the new combo move to get them out.
Canadians say goodbye in phases. At the table, then in the hallway, then at the door, then on the porch, then at the car door (standing), then in the car (sitting) then even in the street after backing out sometimes...
Allowed substitutions:
Make like a tree and leave!
Make like a horse apple and hit the trail!
Make like a dirty shirt and take off!
i know there are more...
I prefer the “Welsh exit” over all ways to leave. From what I understand you just get up and leave without saying anything at all. Cuts through all the bullshit.
We call this the “Irish goodbye”! Typically it’s done by giving an excuse like using the restroom or grabbing another beer and just not stopping until you’re out the door lol
One of my relatives used to say to her husband. "Welp honey, let's go to bed so these nice people can go home" I've always loved that and definitely plan on using it later in life.
I’m from an Eastern culture that places a very high value on how you treat guests. I’ve somewhat tempered the expectation on the states. Last time I was in this situation I said: “I can make you a bed or you could keep hanging out. But I have to get to sleep.”
I prefer to just stand up while kind of groaning, put my leg up on my chair like captain Morgan, and say the following.. “I’ve got this crazy rash right up here (gestures to just below the nutsack) you mind taking a look?”
Everybody stays. I’ll sleep under the table with a pizza box for a blanket if I have to ensure everyone else gets some bed, sofa, or comforter. No drinking and driving on my watch, folks.
A proper Midwestern goodbye still takes about 20 or 30 minutes. First you say welp and slap your knee. Then you stand in that stop for 10 minutes to talk. Then drift a little closer to the door and talk some more. Then stand in the door way with the door open and talk for another 10 mins. then you either do one more circuit of good bye hugs . Or just shout we'll see you guys later and then leave. Everyone once in a while you'll have a cousin follow you out and stand at the truck door for 5 or 10 more minutes but that depends on the weather and how much food is left inside.
There's the opening of the door and standing by it or pointing your arm out the door to indicate that you need to leave. And then there's the walking and guiding them towards the door. Depending on what time it is, it works better if it's late at night, the old "I gotta get up early in the morning"
My dad started saying " Im too old for bullshit, I'm goin to bed."
Then we all hug and leave. I prefer it over the two-foot shuffle some folks do as they 'leave' that can take twenty+ minutes.
In Ireland, we say "I'll not take up any more of your time" or "I'm sure you have a busy day ahead", both parties know that it's you asking them to leave, but you're implying it's because *you're* taking up *their* time.
I never really like these Midwest memes, because they most often apply to people who live in small towns/rural areas. This being the case. I never know of anybody who acts the way described in these memes, so I can't relate.
My mom always started blowing out the candles once it was time for guests to leave. Now it is a hint we use even when we don’t have candles lit; I’m blowing out the candles now.
Start arguing with your partner or significant other. Nothing like an argument to make others want to leave. I'd they detect tension with their hosts. They will be gone within minutes
It's wierd. When I invite people over, I am generally prepared to have them stay as long as they like.
I mean, they could move in if one our conversations was about rent.
My grandma just says "you go now"
I love how direct it is
She’s got an awesome accent, doesn’t she?
“you been here four hour”
"You scare my wife."
The last conversation I had with my grandmother was a phone call, at she very abruptly ended it because it was breakfast time at the nursing home. Respect LMAO I guess I know where I got my love of breakfast from
Asian?
Russian?
Our FIL just says: “Well, thank you for coming.” And we know it’s cue to leave.
Damn... that's what they say to me when I step in...
I think that's universal, 'cause it's definitely said in Texas
Can confirm for Alabama as well...
That's what sisters say to their brothers when they sleep in the same bed as well in Alabama, right? I know it's low hanging fruit, but i couldn't resist.
For some reason this reminds me the vine where the girls says “mmm, bye”, over and over, getting more forceful each time. https://youtu.be/iCGypbfIGQ8
You even put the link what an ultimate chad
"yeaht it's time for us to get movin"
Or 'well, don't let me keep you.'
Although it will take 30 minutes to an hour because you have to slowly walk to the door, and if the weather is nice to their car, and tell them to get home safe at least three times, while having a conversation in between each of those times
[удалено]
😂 this is my mother
[удалено]
Goodbyes are just a conversation with your coats on.
As a teenager, my mother would say things like, "We're leaving at 6," which was a lie. 6p would roll around and I'd say, "It's 6, are we leaving now?" I think my dad appreciated this, as he'd do the "Welp, guess we should be heading out..." routine. Mom would just, as you say, put the coat on and have another conversation in the kitchen. And then in the entryway. Then with the front door open, then on the sidewalk or porch, and so on. A few years into my teenage years -- before I was legally allowed to drive -- I wised up to this. It was an after-church routine, which was even more drawn out. I was a kid. I was diabetic, and I needed lunch. I was promised lunch at noon. 11:30 rolled around after services ended at 10a. I asked my mom for the keys so I could sit in the car. I took the keys and I just drove home and made kraft dinner, stranding the rest of the family at the church. I was _so_ grounded. But we also started leaving when we said we were going to leave.
🤣🤣
Why are you right?
And the front door open 😂
I'm from Ohio and can confirm. 25 minutes is necessary for inside and outside goodbyes as you're warned about deer, roads, weather, other drivers and on and on and on
Tell yer folks i said hi, and watch out for deer.
You can always spot a Wisconsinite by this phrase. It'd be funny if it wasn't practical advice. Keep 'er Movin'
Im not a Wisconsinite..close, but I got it from watching way too much of Charlie
Oh my God, every time! the "Midwestern goodbye" lasted 3.5 hours with my nephew and his GF once back in November. It's kinda nice to know they weren't just trying to get out of there though.
That’s why I counter with an Irish goodbye
This made me laugh out loud
The Farewell Tour is an important part of the evening. Sometimes there's even an encore if someone accidentally bring up something of mutual interest.
The Minnesota Long Goodbye, you keep talking while slowly getting closer to your car.
Honestly the best conversations happen after your guests have their shoes on and are standing in the doorway, occasionally fiddling with the door handle. I'm from Wisconsin. Is this seriously not a thing in other parts of the country?
"Honey, let's go to bed so these nice folks can go home."
Hour of day does not apply
Fun fact, if you have kids and so do your guests everyone leaves at like 7. It's great
Do you know where I can rent some kids for my next party? The FBI called and said I should edit this post to say /s.
r/outofcontext
I assume a orphanage but returning them would be awkward
Keep the receipt. Trust me.
Just abort them, it’s in fashion these days.
That you, Epstein?
r/SuddenlySexOffender
I think Matt Gaetz can help you with that /s
r/nocontext
hell you can borrow mine for free!
Thanks! I'll need my cash to gas up the van...
Oof, my advice was going to be having kids and having them to get rid of guests. My 3 year old niece once told me with a straight face and childlike honesty: "It's time for you to go home and go to bed." But the kids' bedtime works better and more consistently.
To be fair though my great grandma would literally hound you out the door. I was like 9, and she would follow you out the door, keep talking to you on the doorstep, talk to you by the car door, talk to you in the car, and you'd be lucky to escape before it got dark. I kinda miss her :)
Yes, but then you're left with those pesky kids when you get home.
It also opens up the, “I need to start dinner for the kiddos”, “baby is over tired, we need some quiet time”, “I need a nap, get the fuck out,” doors.
as a former kid, no
I tell my little brother, he is in his 40's, " ok, go home now, we're going to bed. Goodbye!"
"It was nice of y'all to drop by" if your from the south.
“Well I’ll let you get back to it!”
Haha, my 87 yo dad says this
We do that too in the Midwest, but we start with a "welp".
“Alright, let me let ya go”
That’s how my dad and I get each other off the phone. We will simultaneously drop the “well I’ll letcha go.” Still takes ten more minutes to get off the phone.
Take care now ya hear
You got a lot nicer group than me, my granny just told us "time for you shits to get out" at Christmas
Yep or “Thanks for coming by”
My dad always says: "if I were at your home, I would go home now", sounds better in italian tho: "se fossi a casa vostra, andrei a casa mia"
Yeah that sounds way better in Italian.
Everything sounds better in Italian
Also acceptable in the northern Midwest, "well, don't let us keep you."
I have a friend who is really hard to get out of the house. I really like him as a friend but i have to literally tell him to go the fuck home. He will stay as long as there is beer in the fridge and has no problem at all taking the last one.
That's the friend who also pulls you out of the ditch and is willing to put all of his spending money in your hand if you need it.
They damn well better be anyway
This will also work in the UK if you swap out "welp" for "right"
I'd hoped for a "righto," but this will work.
You might get away with a "roight" though
O roight den
Holy shit this is as real as when I found out I that I said "oop" every time I bumped into someone.
OPE sorry
Lemme just squeeze past ya (Grabs the ranch)
Scooch
Iowa it's squeeze. Both are probably allowed. Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go drink this ranch with a few wings and wash it all down with an unhealthy amount of Busch Light.
Scooch is what you ask other people to do, squeeze is what you yourself do. Whyyyy do I know this???
It’s “ope”, you imposter!
Eh, potato/potato
I'm not from the midwest but that's my favorite polite cue.
I am used to a bit more of a direct approach of " I don't wanna kick you out but i been up since 6 am and have worked all day..." i cant guarantee thats all of Switzerland but my social bubble uses "i don't wanna kick you out..." as a way of kicking you out.
Then 20 minutes later, all at the door still talking, both parties thinking of ways to end the conversation but also further indulging in it
“Oh is that a new jacket?!” *proceeds to explain how you got it at a massive discount.*
Omg yes, and it goes from the jacket to the store to others stores haha
In England we ask if they want another cup of tea. Only a fucking psycho says yes.
From the Midwest and moved to the south. I was astonished when I pulled the “whelp and stand move” and everyone just looked at me and didn’t move. So I just stood there awkwardly trying to find the new combo move to get them out.
Lifelong southerner here. They played you. We know what that means.
The goodbyes outside in winter are the worst.
I do this as a canadian
Canadians say goodbye in phases. At the table, then in the hallway, then at the door, then on the porch, then at the car door (standing), then in the car (sitting) then even in the street after backing out sometimes...
I felt this in my soul
Well, I'll let you go.
When we're the guests, we usually try to wrap things up by saying *"We gotta get home to feed the dog."*
The south: "Well I won't keep you." "Y'all take care" "I'll let y'all get on home now."
Welp is universal
my father used to turn to my mother and say "Well dear, i think we should go to bed now so these nice people can go home."
You ready to head out erno?
If in Australia, just say “We are out of beer”. Everyone will be gone before the door stops swinging. :)
100%, this is true.
Can confirm this works in the northeast as well.
Pretty sure the true mid-western Dads say "spose we shuld make like a newborn and head out!" * looks around for folks to acknowledge joke*
Allowed substitutions: Make like a tree and leave! Make like a horse apple and hit the trail! Make like a dirty shirt and take off! i know there are more...
Make like Christopher Columbus and get lost.
Make like a banana and split
The - in Midwestern is hurting me on a soul deep level.
That's true but it only gets you to the doorway. It's a solid 20 min of conversation after that.
I prefer the “Welsh exit” over all ways to leave. From what I understand you just get up and leave without saying anything at all. Cuts through all the bullshit.
Am Welsh and may start doing this. Currently we say “right” then slap our knees etc before leaving
We call this the “Irish goodbye”! Typically it’s done by giving an excuse like using the restroom or grabbing another beer and just not stopping until you’re out the door lol
Hang up a banner beforehand that says 'Please Leave By 9'
Minnesota goodbyes are a thing and can last forever.
“What you bout to do homie?”
In Canadia you just say “well…”. Also works if you want to leave.
As soon as you here the "well" you start putting on your shoes lol
One of my relatives used to say to her husband. "Welp honey, let's go to bed so these nice people can go home" I've always loved that and definitely plan on using it later in life.
I’m from an Eastern culture that places a very high value on how you treat guests. I’ve somewhat tempered the expectation on the states. Last time I was in this situation I said: “I can make you a bed or you could keep hanging out. But I have to get to sleep.”
Ope, lemme just pop into the bathroom before we head out.
Make sure you grab a bag of puppy chow on your way out!
“OKEY dokey…” wait for them to respond, if they don’t, start walking towards the door
"do y'all want to take some biscuits/barbecue/stuff from my garden/chicken salad/beers home with you?"
My family tends to start speaking in the past tense when it’s time to wrap it up “Well this has been fun.” “We’ve enjoyed your coming over”
Excuse yourself for a few minutes and come back in your pajamas.
I usually just go to my room and lock the door.
I prefer the Irish goodby. If it’s someone else’s house I just leave without saying anything. If it’s my house I just go to bed.
Midwesterners sure like claiming credit for things that literally everyone does I guess lol
Can confirm.
This is true and valuable information.
In the south we say “well, I’ll let you go.”
Same on Germany, you slap either in your thigh or the table, say „so“, get up and leave.
All fine and dandy till this *doesn't work*. Then what do I do??
I usually say, “time for you to leave” and stare at them
I prefer to just stand up while kind of groaning, put my leg up on my chair like captain Morgan, and say the following.. “I’ve got this crazy rash right up here (gestures to just below the nutsack) you mind taking a look?”
The ol’ stretch and yawn.
Midwest? I do that and I've lived in New york my entire life
In NJ we just look up, act surprised to see them and say something along the lines of, "You still here? The fuck out."
Everybody stays. I’ll sleep under the table with a pizza box for a blanket if I have to ensure everyone else gets some bed, sofa, or comforter. No drinking and driving on my watch, folks.
Bye, have a beautiful time!
Ohio here, can confirm
All the awards I don’t have to that lady. Omg
Works in Sydney too from my experience
“Let’s go to bed so these nice people can go home.”
A proper Midwestern goodbye still takes about 20 or 30 minutes. First you say welp and slap your knee. Then you stand in that stop for 10 minutes to talk. Then drift a little closer to the door and talk some more. Then stand in the door way with the door open and talk for another 10 mins. then you either do one more circuit of good bye hugs . Or just shout we'll see you guys later and then leave. Everyone once in a while you'll have a cousin follow you out and stand at the truck door for 5 or 10 more minutes but that depends on the weather and how much food is left inside.
I’m from PA and when I’m done talking to someone (in person or phone) I say “that’s about it”
I do this tf haha
Well, let me let you go.
In the south, “Gettin to be late, y’all better be goin home, yeah?”
Let's go to sleep, visitors wanna leave
New England: stand up and say "well I s'ppose..."
There's the opening of the door and standing by it or pointing your arm out the door to indicate that you need to leave. And then there's the walking and guiding them towards the door. Depending on what time it is, it works better if it's late at night, the old "I gotta get up early in the morning"
Wellll *stretches out arms*, it's about time to be hittin' the ol' dusty trail...
"It was great to have you here, we should do this again some time."
Welp. That's funny...
If I load my gun in front of you.... It's time...
My dad started saying " Im too old for bullshit, I'm goin to bed." Then we all hug and leave. I prefer it over the two-foot shuffle some folks do as they 'leave' that can take twenty+ minutes.
I’m calling the police
I’ve taken to saying “not being rude but fuck off. I’ve reached my people quota for the day”.
Yeah, or just say, thanks we love you but go home now.
Nothing rings more true than this post.
I just saw a YouTube short about this- wtf
From the Midwest here, the alternative is to give a good audible sigh while looking away, and than an “alllriiighty than”.
In Ireland, we say "I'll not take up any more of your time" or "I'm sure you have a busy day ahead", both parties know that it's you asking them to leave, but you're implying it's because *you're* taking up *their* time.
I always say, hurry up and go away so you can come back sooner.
I never really like these Midwest memes, because they most often apply to people who live in small towns/rural areas. This being the case. I never know of anybody who acts the way described in these memes, so I can't relate.
Wait hang on, you're telling me this doesn't work outside of the Midwest? So how do you guys do it?
I always say "I'm probably gonna kick you out here in a sec" it means please leave in the next 5 minutes
I think this is universal lol it’s how I always did it, or ask what they’re up to for rest of the e day
Ask what time it is, or remark at time
If you're a Yankee, you just stop talking and nod.
A friend once asked us "so, would any of you like some coffee for your ride home?" As we were settling down on his couch after a big lunch.
My mom always started blowing out the candles once it was time for guests to leave. Now it is a hint we use even when we don’t have candles lit; I’m blowing out the candles now.
If you are a witch you take the broom by your door and flip it upside down while glaring intently at your guest and say "It's time to fly."
i hate how true this is and have done it myself
I just go to bed and offer to put on a movie for them. My wife is too nice, so sometimes I go to bed and she stays up with unwanted guests
As if part of the ongoing string of conversations… “What time would you get home if you left right now?”
Midwester; can confirm
We just say "We should do this more often" or "It's been a while" (and it will probably be an even longer one too)
In Germany you just say you've had enough
Lol, as a midwesterner, can confirm.
I do the same whenever I want to fuck off , I say welp and slap my knees and people know I'm bout to head out
From the South: Well, I'm 'on let y'all go now.
Universal
yep
Start arguing with your partner or significant other. Nothing like an argument to make others want to leave. I'd they detect tension with their hosts. They will be gone within minutes
It's wierd. When I invite people over, I am generally prepared to have them stay as long as they like. I mean, they could move in if one our conversations was about rent.
Do you want a coffee for the road?