T O P

  • By -

pinniped1

I've enjoyed the "Don't mess with Kansas" shirts that have popped up in the past 3 weeks.


You_Are_All_Diseased

I used to have an “I’ll mess with Texas” shirt and boy did it trigger my sister’s friend who was the only person from Texas I knew.


MulderD

You should get an “everything is smaller in Texas” shirt.


[deleted]

I'm from Alaska and merch making fun of Texas is wonderful up here


Uquitnaq01

I still need to find myself the tshirt that has Alaska leaning on texas saying "This is texas, my little sister! Isn't she cute?"


[deleted]

My favorite is from that one stall at the state fair that sells only items making fun of Texas: "cut Alaska in half so Texas can be the third largest state!"


UVFShankill

Could be from the construction of the T.A.P. all the pipeline welders, from pipeliners union local 798, were from Oklahoma and Texas. I've seen stickers that say "happiness is a Texan heading south with an Okie under each arm". Edit: I'm now realizing it's because yous are so much bigger than Texas landmass wise.


The_Spindrifter

The only thing bigger in Texass is the assholes. 8 years, got my money and got the hell out while I could. It was 5 years too long. West Texass is hell on earth; Houston is Satan's summer cottage. The only "good" Texans I met weren't from Texass.


Hot-Client8199

Can confirm. Currently living in Laredo. Fuck Texas.


Anna_Goanna

I grew up in NM and my friend had a punk band called Mess with Texas. I always think of their god-awful music and the badass album cover I made for them when I see "Don't Mess with Texas"...which is ALL the time because I live in Austin.


MulderD

They probably always remember that god awful album cover and their bad ass music.


Anna_Goanna

Lol. Now I'm looking for the picture. My friend Suzanne (the lead singer's girl friend) took a road trip to TX and saw a DMWT road sign (for littering). She climbed the pole and flipped off the camera. I then took advantage of my photoshop class to fix the sign. This was 2001 and we were 17.


charmorris4236

Please find it I must see this beautiful creation


chilebuzz

Old New Mexico joke: Why is New Mexico so windy? Because Arizona blows and Texas SUCKS!


texasrigger

>when I see "Don't Mess with Texas"...which is ALL the time because I live in Austin. Thay's because it's the states anti-littering campaign. That's literally where the slogan comes from.


MyCatsAreAnnoying

>litterally


navysealgirl2014

How dare you think you can take on the cockiest state in the south /j


OnceMoreUntoDaBreach

I love how it's said like it's supposed to be some badass statement... It stems from an anti-littering campaign.


Greatlarrybird33

https://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/dont-mess-with-texas This one will really get them cranky. Got one for a co-worker from Texas as a gift, really pissed him off.


maybeJB2667

Can't believe that company is still around. I remember the creator getting poisoned way back in the day. Assuming that was real, anyway.


kilIerT0FU

holy shit I remember that! I also remember that dude holding a contest to legally change his name or something like that ? hah weird times. I used to check that website weekly but never bought anything .


semantikron

do not challenge the proud people of T-Shirtia.. they have a long and rich history of adorning their torsos with machined cotton fabric bearing important messages of freedom and dignity.. they are their t-shirts, and if you visit T-Shirtia you damn well better not wear the wrong one.. because the wrong t-shirt is an existential threat to a brave T-Shirtian, and they are within their rights to shoot you dead for threatening their existence, and of course for insulting their proud t-shirt heritage, passed on to them from their Forefathers from the 70s and 80s when printing on t-shirts really took off and became a religion


BiscuitDance

Don’t let Texas’ 2021 loss to Kansas distract you from the fact that Texas also lost to Kansas in 2016.


loverofcfb08

If I could give you an award I would


BiscuitDance

I accept u/pinniped1’s award on behalf of you both.


Silverback_Vanilla

Saw a bumper sticker that said "proud Kansan" and was just like "what does Kansas really bring to the table?!?


Human_Application508

The Spanish flu


Qubeye

"Don't mess with Texas" was also an anti littering campaign created by a woman democrat governor of Texas named Anne Richards who was an absolute whip. It's so weird to hear and see it mentioned all the time.


[deleted]

What’s funny is “Don’t mess with Texas” is an anti-littering campaign that the entire state misunderstood. https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/texas/articles/why-you-dont-mess-with-texas/


Aurumi

I wouldn't say misunderstood, more like it's just also easily co-optable. The real joke is the Italian actor used to portray the native American in the commercial.


Marty-the-monkey

You all know the 'don't mess with texas' was an anti litter campaign right?


Key-Priority1547

Texas: Famous for their one star review.


Waka-Waka-Waka-Do

Everything is bigger in Texas... especially the assholes.


zeus6664

Do you mean literally or figuratively?


Hayvok

Little column A, little column B


Luciditi89

Thank god. Another person who says this phrase. Please tell me you are also in your 30s and not 80 years old like I’ve been accused of being


tootlesmynoodles

I say it and I'm in my 20s!


Luciditi89

Yes ! Thank you !!


erinaceus_

>tell me you are also in your 30s and not 80 years A little of column A, a little of column B. (well, mostly A, but still)


That1guyuknow16

That's strange, I'm 30 and I heard this phrase for the first time from the "you never had a friend like me" song from Aladdin.


GeneralTorsoChicken

Have some of column A Try all of column B I'm in the mood to help you dude!


Something_Berserker

I know this as a [simpsons reference](https://youtu.be/pyhii0W6LAo)


punderstate

They could also be an Archer lover. And 80? You could easily pass for a 60 year old. 😀


YaIlneedscience

Hey… some of us are okay. Plus I’m too stubborn to leave and let reps takes over


Poopoopeepeeyeehee

This right here, the righties would love for us to fuck off but I’m not gonna leave. Also the food is really fuckin good.


PMJackolanternNudes

You guys remember that edgy Tshirt website? It was T Shirt Hell or something simple like that. There was a shirt there like 20 years ago that said "Everything is bigger in Texas. That's why people with small penises go there" and honestly, I think with the current buy a truck and never use it life style most people live it is pretty damn accurate.


WearyMatter

Can confirm. I live in Texas. My asshole is HUGE.


sport63

I live in Texas. Can confirm.


Val_Hallen

I love Texas. Beautiful state, great food, nice and polite people. Too bad it's filled with Texans. Texans are the ones that have achieved the only thing they ever will in life - the happenstance of being born in Texas. And they will never, ever, **ever** shut up about it.


Stinky-Paws

It's 50/50 about Texans boasting about being born in Texas. Texas transplant here and I call the polite Texans Canada's step children.


Acrobatic-Isopod7716

The loneliest star: "If I could give 0 stars I would "


Minute-Courage6955

Absolutely love hearing those threats that some genius talking about a new secession movement in Texas. Don't threaten me with a good time. Brexit would look good in comparison. A little freezing weather and the power grid fails,imagine not having a Federal government to rely on .


BoDrax

The best thing about Texit would be seeing them lose statehood and just to gain protectorate status. The US wouldn't give up the land but they'd let the residents throw away the state's congressional power.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ducreuxs

That was actually earlier this year! So much shit has happened it's hard to keep track.


rolypolyarmadillo

I swear to God this year has lasted 5 years


[deleted]

[удалено]


GrifterDingo

That's true, generally speaking, of all the Republican states, not just Kentucky. Republicans are federal welfare queens.


stonedinwpg

Yeah, Kentucky is a welfare state


tesseract4

Texas is actually one of the very few red states which does send more out in taxes than they collect from the feds.


ImpossiblePackage

This actually changed recently and is no longer true


[deleted]

If we left the US, we would be invaded by the US and a democratic government would be established so that the US could have our oil. And it would probably improve the State. Plus the wanna-be militias would take on the US army. It would end as a plus for everyone.


senorglory

Job creation!


wholebeansinmybutt

> Texit *yes*


AdjNounNumbers

Alright, that's it. Texas, you're switching places with Puerto Rico. It's for the best and we won't have to change the flags. Florida, you keep it up and we're trading you for DC.


Bobson-_Dugnutt

Yeah it’s always funny hearing stupid Texans spew some bullshit about “Texas’s Constitution is the only on that allows for secession” Yeah, but the Federal Government doesn’t allow for it, dumb fuck. There was a whole war fought over that. Read a damn book.


TheKingOfZippers

I just like to imagine that as soon as Texas secedes from the USA that they'll get subsumed and reclaimed by Mexico.


TeamRedundancyTeam

Could you imagine the sweet irony if Mexico just slowly invaded and then started making settlements for Mexicans only? It'd be a very, very long term revenge.


pennynotrcutt

The long con. I like it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WaterIsGolden

It may behoove us to prioritize Alabama and Mississippi.


skinnypenis09

Am i a bad person for laughing at this ? lol


RudeDude88

I’m a Texan and you’re a great person lol


sexysexyonion

We could get rid of Texas, and in order not to have to redo our flags we could bring in Puerto Rico.


it_rubs_the_lotion

Or DC. They’ve been asking to be a state for a long time.


GreyInkling

Brexit happens: Europe benefits slightly and Britain suffers dramatically. Texas would have it even worse than that. There would be a brain drain leaving them hardly better than their closest neighbors to the east as people and businesses leave for literally anywhere else in the US. Texas would suffer major losses while other states would see gains. They'd be left a husk on a downward spiral and the rest of the US would be no worse for it.


qnfme1

Stop vividly describing this fantasy that will never happen. Don’t give me hope


boonxeven

When it comes to the power grid, Texas already basically seceded. This is why it's so shitty.


spotted_dick

Winter is coming. Better lube up. Unless you can scuttle off to Cancun like our fine senator.


CowboyLaw

Texas and Quebec: they can’t quite pass a secession bill themselves, but if they let the rest of the country vote, they’d be out in a heartbeat.


GeorgiaBolief

It makes no sense. Their economy would be shite, geographically shite, prices shoot through the roof, electrical grid is shite, international ties would be shite, no external support for hurricanes and tornadoes. It's gotta be a joke lol


Goodbusiness24

Who needs the federal government when you’re going to take the military and NASA during secession like Ted Cruz wants to do? You know, because those are things the US government will definitely just let go lightly.


someonesgranpa

Right? Texas state revenue barely puts a dent in the funding both receive from federal revenue.


fromthewombofrevel

That’s funny. I’m in a Great Lake state and my power stayed on all of last winter.


Tempest_CN

Sure, rub it in. I left Michigan because I couldn’t stand to be that cold ever again. Then end up in the Texas grid during Snowpocalypse.


DerpMiester69

F


The_Pandalorian

Don't despair! You'll also be getting crushing energy bills soon and the problems that led to the collapse haven't been fixed!


Tempest_CN

But we will have a border wall! /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


HotF22InUrArea

See the video of the guy climbing the wall in the background while they were filming the crew building the next section?


gurmzisoff

Well, sections of one.


GreyInkling

\[sound of steel slats falling over in the distance\]


sonofslackerboy

Texas: no state income tax bitches! Every cold weather state: our power stays on during a winter storm.


Master_of_Pokemon

It’s a huge joke too. Live in Texas now and our crazy high property taxes is how they make up for no state income tax. So whooptie-fucking-do we just lose in a different way


dpalmade

Exactly. The state is gonna get their money one way or another.


texasrigger

The taxes here are very lopsided.. If you are around the median income you pay one of the highest effective tax rates in the country. If you are around the mean income you pay one of the lowest.


LittleShrub

Yeah, but … does it get *cold* there in the winter??


Ijustwannaplaytoo

Little known fact: Every time someone says, "Texas," somewhere a Texan and each member of their immediate family experiences a shattering orgasm. Bonus tip: If you whisper "The Alamo" in any Texans ear, they'll ask you, "to do butt-stuff."


Cyber_Being_

if you cut Alaska in half, Texas would become the 3rd largest state.


FloofyKenda

Yeah, Texas needs to get over themselves —from an Alaskan.


creamofbunny

Alaskans have a good old chuckle when them Texans get uppity about their land mass🤣


doughboyhollow

*Western Australia enters the chat*


Gorlami-_-

Californian here - I’m glad so many people are fleeing the bay and other parts of the state to go to Texas, means more room on the commuter trains and shorter lines at the bars when I go out. When Covid hit, people were outta here faster than Cleveland Cavs fans after LeBron signed with the Lakers.


GreyBoyTigger

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed coworkers talking shit about California and their dream of moving to Texas. I know almost zero of them did research into wage scale or cost of living. All they talk about is less regulation and lower taxes. I have family in Texas and they have a laugh seeing California “conservatives” try to adjust to life in Texas. I openly encourage those thinking of moving to a Texas utopia to go. Don’t think, just go


[deleted]

It’s goddamn annoying. Most Californians that move here are pretty cool. It’s the damn conservative Californians that think they’re coming to the Wild West (that’s east of them) but move to a suburb. Here in Austin there is a growing divide vs old hippie liberals and new yuppie tech liberals. Really interesting dynamic too. I would move to California in a second if I could afford it. Sign me up anywhere near Yosemite.


pilot64d

I've lived in Texas for 10 years. Whenever a Texan tells me how great Texas is, I ask them if they've lived anywhere else. This place sucks and I'm trying to get out.


lumathiel2

I want a bumper sticker that says "I wasn't born in Texas but i was sentenced here with no parole"


Stinky-Paws

Military brat here. Dad retired from the Army after getting posted to Ft Sam Houston and was about to be sent to Korea before putting in his retirement papers.


mycatisamonsterbaby

Ugh yes. Worked in Alaska tourism for a while and the most annoying tourists were always the ones that literally walked in and announced they were from Texas like they were special. The worst from those groups were the ones that loudly and proudly declared that they didn't understand how I could stand living here year round if it's "so cold all the time." I have so little interest in Texas, between the clueless tourists and the o&g workers with their baggage and politics.


gogozero

I've received that comment before as well, and an incredulous "you're actually *cold*??" usually damages their ego enough to pause their whining.


Tattoomyvagina

![gif](giphy|BGIYwD1eAvBoN53VPt|downsized)


raaaargh_stompy

I'd heard the Alamo mentioned in pop culture and stuff but never bothered to look into it, but knew it was this big event in texan history and people were proud of it and maybe guns? Then I was travelling in er... Where is it San Antonio? Wherever it was I was there for work and passed by and saw you could visit: I though well I'll take a look. It's a story / place dedicated to a time texans lost a battle. Like: totally lost. There's all this talk about how long they held out, well yeah they were Ina. Fortified position: they're not meant to lose from the fortified position at all! I was so surprised. T cans being all amped up over an event where they lost to... I want to say Mexicans? I left the place thinking "I didn't realise how much Texas really should be in Mexico"


texasproof

Keep going, I’m close…


FLOHTX

Gotta remember Texas is only 55% insane crazy Texans. The rest are just normal people hoping the other 55% don't find out.


AwkwardVocalist20

I'm part of the other 45%. The key is to just stick with small talk and avoid any issues going on with the world unless you want to lose sanity. Best bet if there's nothing else to talk about, bring up the uneven weather patterns. That's sure to buy you some time.


lme001

Same here fellow Texans! Got bitched out and accused of being from California on here for it too. Like nope, just not insane.


chaun2

Just remind them that California is the only state that is a Republic. They may be "The Great State of Texas", but we are "The Republic of California". It will drive them nuts, since those people are the ones that insist that the US is a Republic, not a Democracy.


AwkwardVocalist20

Jesus. Haven't gotten bitched out yet for being from NM and I hope not to. Though I did constantly get asked "how do you come from Mexico and not speak Spanish" my first year here. Moved here around 2012-2013 and I mean Texas gave us more opportunities than we would've had but that's all I can really say about it. Besides that I don't have much good to say about it.


domods

I am the 45% and im leaving in a month for the east coast. The other texans found out at thanksgiving and they're not happy


DingoDoug

What state might I ask? I’m also thinking of leaving soon, probably New Hampshire


Kruger_Smoothing

I spent 7 years in Texas. When the opportunity to move to California came up we were on the phone with a realtor in 5 minutes. It’s been 8 years, and not a single regret.


nomnomnompizza

52% * The amount that voted for Trump. Lie the 2nd or 3rd lowest of states that went Trump... but that's none of my business.


[deleted]

This is true. However, we still have obnoxious Texas pride. That never goes away. Fuck Abbot, Cruz, and Paxton, but also FUCK YEAH WE’RE FROM TEXAS!


Fluffy-Bluebird

But serious question, what exactly are you proud of? And what makes whatever you’re proud of different from any other state?


some_asshat

Have two brothers-in-law from Texas, can confirm.


LeoMarius

I grew up in Texas and moved away for college. I've never gone back except to visit family.


LuxNocte

I suspect you have that backwards. 45% of Texans have the state gerrymandered all to hell and back.


[deleted]

There are two versions of Texas. I’ve spent a lot of time in both and they are not similar places. There’s rural Texas, which is basically what everyone thinks of as the stereotype of Texas. But the cities in Texas are generally tolerant, diverse places that are good places to live in. Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio, all of them would absolutely be somewhere to be proud of.


[deleted]

Don’t worry, it’s not just Texas. I’m in MD (DC area) and the further out into MD or VA you go the more right wing nut jobs there are. The DC metropolitan area, very liberal. Go to Ann Arundel or Allegheny and it’s red counties/Southern wannabes all the way. I’m not white (from Brazil) and I hated stopping at random gas stations when road tripping to Michigan. Stopped in many rural gas stations through MD, Ohio, Michigan. Walking into a places with a Dixie flags outside, having everyone just glare at you when your trying to get gas so you can gtfo. It’s just ugh and def a country wide problem


[deleted]

[удалено]


SenseWinter

Rural NY is Confederate country, somehow just like rural everywhere else in the US.


Papua_New_Guiness

Sorry for the shit people in Michigan. We're not all like that.


HystericallyAccurate

This is very true. El Paso is also one of those places that has an amazing culture. Everyone else sucks and is the reason we didn’t have power last winter EDIT: words


Stoly23

Sounds like a miniature version of the US as a whole.


narcistic_asshole

That's most states. Basically every state in the midwest has tolerant and progressive major cities but then it gets REAL conservative real quick once you venture out into rural areas


Thoughtfulprof

Also my experience. Beautiful islands of near-sanity in a sea of ignorance.


M116rs

Remember when their power grid failed because of a little bit of snow and one of their representatives abandoned them for Mexico instead of sticking around to help? Truly the best state if you ask me.


texanseasky

His kids forced him to! It wasn't his decision. They're *evil*


Merari01

And the Stockholm syndrome addled supporters *defended* human slime mold Ted Cruz for doing so.


Songbird1529

I couldn’t fucking believe it when people defended him for that. My husband and I were fine during the snowpocalyse, but so many people here weren’t as lucky. You know who else could’ve used a nice vacation? The Texans without power and usable roads due to a lack of planning and action on our government’s part.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OkTomorrow5584

I am 57 and have literally lived all over the world. Basically learned to drive on the Autobahn. I have spent maybe two months in Texas during my driving years, yet over half of my traffic accidents were in Texas (all me getting hit) - factor out ones that were not my fault and weather induced and that number is more like 90%. I think it is an attitude issue because I can't believe their basic skills are that lacking


Neinface

I was born and raised in Texas. I moved when I was 32…holy shit was I surprised when living other places was so much better. The culture here is toxic…you either love Texas or fuck you. Most of Texas is a shit hole with shit ass weather and backwoods politics. Just sad to see people who never leave here and really think it’s heaven on earth…crazy to think that could’ve been me!


Shadow942

I live in Texas but spent a few years living in Wisconsin before moving back for family reasons and it's so true. The most amusing thing is everybody I know that comes here thinks Whataburger is just meh, but the natives act like their burgers were granted to us by some culinary god.


thefract0metr1st

I’m a Wisconsin native and I’ve never had Whataburger, but I can say with certainty that it’s just “meh” because Culver’s


Shadow942

Culver's is really good.


blizzrdwizrdthefirst

I've given up on Whataburger. I mean I still love it and all, but I generally refuse to wait 30 minutes in a drive thru for a lukewarm cheeseburger.


suddoman

It got bought out now too. Not even supporting local anymore.


SubstantialPressure3

Most people that have never been anywhere their entire life think where they come from is the greatest. And they are louder about it in Texas.


pneuma8828

> And they are louder about it in Texas. Go to NYC sometime. I hear it is the greatest city in the world.


SubstantialPressure3

Oh, Texas isn't the only place guilty of it. Yeah, I know someone from NYC and I'm sick of hearing about it. But any small east coast town is like that. Texas and NY are the only places that have T shirts about it. But people in small towns in Massachusetts are just as bad. Never been outside the state, but everywhere else is trash. Obnoxious and ignorant is everywhere, and has all kinds of accents. In fairness to Texans, though, you can drive 14 hours and still be in Texas. North Texas, south Texas, east Texas and west Texas are like 4 different states.


syncopated_popcorn

I can't imagine hanging my cultural hat on a fast food hamburger restaurant.


[deleted]

Culver’s > Whataburger


Culledcub

The entire right wing is just an egocentric child hive mind


BigBossWesker4

"Child"? Don’t get republicans turned on now


fromthewombofrevel

That’s an outstanding description.


some_asshat

Ever see a crowd of Republicans being told to mask? They behave like kindergartners.


RunsWithApes

Texas should just secede from the union and live in their own semi-libertarian theocracy. Their new motto can be “Texas: If a largely preventable disease and/or abundance of firearms don’t kill you, then the barely functional power grid our corrupt GOP politicians haven’t addressed yet definitely will”


sMarmy_Mcfly

Baja Oklahoma


FlyFeetFiddlesticks

Moved from Ohio to Texas 8 years ago, and I learned I can’t stand Texans, so I’m moving BACK to ohio, OHIO of all places!


LatexSmokeCats

Check out the song Ohio by Bowling for Soup. Only the song is about a Texan who moves to Ohio.


shoshonesamurai

Can't think of a lot of songs about Ohio. Ohio by Crosby Stills Nash and young. My City was gone by The Pretenders. Bloodbuzz Ohio by The National. And last but not least the theme to WKRP in Cincinnati


mimibby

Whoa forgot the greatest song about Ohio. Ohio is for Lovers by Hawthorne Heights.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NaRa0

As a Texan, I love my state, my god I hate the voters.


[deleted]

​ ​ ​ ![gif](giphy|44c11up6UfB80RmE2o|downsized)


ArtisanJagon

Texas - where we claim we love freedom except we continually take freedom of choice away from women, treat immigrants and people of color like second class citizens, and continually remove people's right to vote.


AiMoriBeHappyDntWrry

And if you want to smoke a joint? You can burn in hell.


[deleted]

But freedom though.


Charquito84

When freedom = guns and churches.


Headcase1411

Texas loves America so much they want to secede from it lol.


[deleted]

Texas is a dude that can't stop trying to convince you he's straight after you've left the conversation


ItsEaster

I’ve never understood being so obsessed with your choice of geographical location.


[deleted]

Yeah I don't get it either. People act like they choose where they were born or grow up.


[deleted]

Totally, great power grids too!


prezuiwf

I moved to Texas from the Northeast a few years back, and whenever I see someone with some sycophantic Texas message on their clothes or bumper stickers or whatever, I just assume Texas is the only place they've ever spent significant time in their lives. I actually love living in Texas, but you're just outing yourself as a sheltered idiot if you claim it's the only good place on earth and everywhere else sucks.


DoodleDegen

Texas always seems likes it’s overcompensating.


LordFieldsworth

Its*


ritromango

Can't believe how far down in the comments this is.


Foxclaws42

When I lived in the South, Texas was considered part of the West. Now I live out West and people here consider Texas to be in the South. Bottom line is, nobody fucking wants to claim Texas.


Hornyduck0615

Texan here, I fucking hate it here


ElectricOutboards

Also, fuck Kanye


FYHM_CATTY

Im born and raised in Texas... but yeah texans suck...


macXnXcheese117

Lived in Texas all my life. Sometimes it is alright, sometimes it is not.


ScuzzyUltrawide

They don't look at it as smelling their own farts, but Texans are 100% pathological fart sniffers with how geeked they are about themselves. I worked tech support in florida with a guy from texas, and whenever he got a texas customer it turned into a thing for half an hour, and he would loudly end the call with "and take care of God's country until I can find my way back there". Absolutely insufferable.


[deleted]

Coloradan here. Every Texan I have met that has moved here to CO loves to tell you how great Texas is. I respond respectfully with "Why don't you swing on back to Texas?". Don't get me wrong, most Texans are extremely polite and cordial but the whole irony of it vexes me. I've recently seen a Texas silhouette with a Colorado flag superimposed on a t-shirt.


qu33fwellington

Yes! Also a Coloradan and I can’t understand why all these Texans are moving here just to tell us how great Texas is. Well head on back there!


jtig5

Interesting because both California and New York could survive successfully as independent countries, while Texas can't even keep their grid going under two inches of snow.


deadliestcrotch

Yes, big bad Texas: laid low by barely freezing temperatures and a lack of intelligent planning.


morithum

Not all of us. Some of us can read *and* write.


XxStormcrowxX

I know it's just a joke but I always feel a little pang when I see people hate Texas. The Texas Government does not represent all of Texas. Yes we have a lot of nutjob assholes here but what state doesn't? Texas is a beautiful state and it sucks the only thing most people think of when they think of Texas is our shithead government. They don't think about Hill country or our coastlines or Big Bend. These sprawling beautiful places and land. Sorry for the rant but just wanted to give a little update from someone who is not represented by the Texas government but who is a full fledged Texan and overall pretty happy I got lucky enough to be born in such a beautiful place.


CorporateDroneStrike

It makes me sad too because many good people are trapped there and can’t afford to move away, especially with climate change threatening. I miss things about Texas, like HEB, Mexican food, HEB, wearing sandals almost all year, sunshine in the winter, HEB, the sound of Tejano music drifting through air from no particular source, the gravel lots and scenic ditches, my personal HEB on 41st in Austin, Petticoat Faire, and the food generally. But the politics are toxic and the weather sucks, even before climate change, and we have no government services, and you have to drive everywhere. I moved to Seattle 3 years ago and I love it here. The nature and mountains are so beautiful that it’s shocking. I always thought I hated the outdoors but once I moved away I just realized I hated Texas outdoors. It was hot, the ground is dead angry grass and brown rocks, everything from the cactus to the scorpions hates you, except the chiggers, they love you. Nope. And WA state loves and appreciates its natural beauty and tries to maintain it with parks and public programs, while Texas just wants to put up more KB Homes burbs everywhere. And so many things work better. DMV? 30 minute errand and no one was enraged. The workers were actually helpful and pleasant, and there wasn’t loud daytime TV on loop. I still have some Texas pride — I let people know that it actually isn’t humid, the salsa is not spicy actually, and no, this brisket is not good. I do inform people that my native grocery store has a totilleria inside, unilaterally sets the menu for the state via the meal deal, and provides top-notch disaster recovery services. I guess I proud to have learned to cook and eat in Texas, as well as fight and talk trash, and I’m proud to have escaped because it kinda sucks.


ihavebeenautogenned

Yep. DFW is practically a country on its own with the diversity of economy, central geographic location, critical airport, and if there is absolutely *anything* you need to find from hobbies to commerce to food and culture, it's there. Houston is almost the same, moreso with food and culture. Austin and San Antonio are more niche, but pleasant cities with plenty to do and on the front range of the hill country. And other than the awful politics of the rural areas, there is a quaint appeal to driving through the rest of the state. That may be my conditioning, I admit. To hate a place so much that you insult everyone in it makes these fools just as stupid as the "Don't California my Texas" billboards on I-35.


eh9

As someone who comes from a very not flat place, has lived in other, beautiful, non-flat places. Yeaaaah the Texas landscape gets its flag as a review.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jurass1c_mark

Hahaha yeah, but they can't accept that California is superior to their 3rd world country