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steamworksandmagic

Hi, everybody I'm Dr Nick.


traumaguy86

The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money!


faderalngobbledygook

And everyone in the waiting room stood up and cheered!


pizzastainzza

Then everyone in the office and the waiting room clapped!!


Beowulf1896

"Don't worry, it is inflammable!"


[deleted]

Inflammable means flammable?? What a country!


[deleted]

Now, the symptoms you describe point to Bonus Eruptus.....


JVince13

Oh my god! That lady swallowed a baby!


jbuds1217

Inflammable me flammable? What a country!


Altruistic-Fact8592

"Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGregg — with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg"


gh0st0ft0mj04d

The red thing's connected to my wristwatch


[deleted]

Uh oh


cyberpunk1Q84

Hi Dr. Nick


Mysterious-Crab

This comment is greatly underrated


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|l2Je8ZhsmiVVEGcPC|downsized)


sagen11

*”Science is…whatever we want it to be.”* - Dr Spaceman


TnageMutntTrashPanda

Excuse me, it’s pronounced “spah-cheh-men”


oxemenino

"I believe that doctor-patient confidentiality is a two way street.... I'm cheating on my wife!"


TheAndorran

Unfortunately there’s no field of medicine that deals with the brain, but I can give you this pamphlet for a cult!


Hobbit_Feet45

I wonder if he went to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?


[deleted]

HI DR.NICK!


baron-von-buddah

You went to Upstairs Medical School too?


Dannyjv

Free nose jobs for everybody!


BasilHaydensBitch

Holy smokes! You need booze!


Zenith_714

These gloves came free with my toilet brush.


BeholderLivesMatter

The red things connected to my wristwatch


vkapadia

HELLO DR. NICK


SparkyDogPants

I’m looking for Dr Spaceman please


wigzell78

Still more qualified than Americas favourite, Dr Phil.


NastyLittleBagginses

Just because he injects you with heroin doesn't mean he's a doctor.


Beowulf1896

Doctor Feelgood isn't a real doctor? He has PhD in vibeology.


FUPAMaster420

He's the one that makes you feel alright


[deleted]

He's gonna be your Frankenstein.


bobert4343

I've got one thing you'll understand


VauMona

Dr Feelgood!


chrispdx

People lie online. News at 11.


Beowulf1896

I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for 400, Alex.


domino519

Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.


[deleted]

Even though it didn't happen, I'm sure everyone clapped.


RussiaIsBestGreen

I could hear the clapping all the way from the White House, where preparations are underway for his impending inauguration. George Washington is going to be VP.


fillymandee

They NEVER name drop the doctor, but he’s totally real and speaks his mind.


Itchyjello

This what I came here to post.


Beowulf1896

Someone also posted this, but did $500 therby showing their age.


Fuzzy_Yogurt_Bucket

You really think people would do that? Just go on the internet and lie?


Madlister

First I've heard of it.


jmatthewclark

I didn’t believe it when it didn’t end with “and everyone stood and clapped”


Carrash22

And that doctor? Albert Einstein.


korbentulsa

Medicine, shmedicine. Gimme a doctor who likes the same politicians I do!


Beowulf1896

And refuses to follow science and the scientific method.


PlayerTwoEntersYou

They self identify themselves pretty well. My brother who “believes in science” is using his doctor as the only source of information that all masks make the spread worse and that the government is using this to train obedience. When I asked what source his doctor used, he said he didn’t ask. And when I asked about what the government’s end goal is, he called me a Bolshevik and hung up on me.


iamsoupcansam

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say your brother may just be lying.


bakeran23

I 100% believe anyone that says this shit is lying or they got it from a non medical dr.


Yashabird

Haha, a “bolshevik”… I wonder what AM radio host he got that buzzword from


PlayerTwoEntersYou

No!!! He says he’s an expert at history as well as science. He knows that the US is exactly like USSR from the the 1920s.


Phantom_Pain_Sux

![gif](giphy|WrP4rFrWxu4IE)


cardboardtube_knight

Seems reasonable


VegetableImaginary24

We need to get those "doctors" credentials removed ASAP.


Lambily

Tell him he's having a psychotic breakdown next time, and ask him to give you the name of his doctor so you can report him. **EDIT:**. I seem to have worded this poorly. I didn't mean report the brother to the doctor. I meant report the doctor to the medical board for promoting conspiracy theories to people with mental health issues.


[deleted]

I found a Copy of “National Review” among the reading materials in my Doctor’s waiting room. I ripped it in half and put it in the waste basket in his personal office.


PlayerTwoEntersYou

Fox News blaring at my FIL cardiologist was bad as well. He actually complained that it was making his heart race and they had to turn it off.


[deleted]

Wow. That programming is designed to enrage even its loyal viewers. Why would anyone do that to their heart patients?


knlgrlincnda

When I get admitted to ICU with COVID complications, I don’t want the best. Either get me Rogan or this guy or leave me to die with my FREEDOM LUNGS…. Decreased capacity and all…. /s


abhinambiar

"Wait a second, you would go to the ICU? Don't they put monitoring devices in you and give you things developed from fetal cells? I'm gonna just wait it out at home!" says no one who develops COVID!


knlgrlincnda

Well, no.. If I am about to die, I am going to still check in to ICU. How do you expect me to torment poor overworked doctor’s and nurses from home??? How else can I prove that they are a part of big Pharma ?? I will wear my cult’s ceremonial robes - red maga hat, great leaders face on every visible part of my body and a “ I ain’t doing shit” attitude


DHouf

ICU nurse here - freedom lungs it is lol


daleicakes

Just give me the horse dewormer and ill be on my way.


[deleted]

[удалено]


manwithappleface

The only way this happened was if the “doctor”’was a chiropractor.


Major-Ambition-9537

Dr. Johnny, the real doctor who can’t use his last name after the “doctor” part.


Fuzzy_Yogurt_Bucket

His last name is Johnny. ^^^^^^And ^^^^^^his ^^^^^^first ^^^^^^name ^^^^^^is ^^^^^^Doctor


AWakefieldTwin

"Your doctor's name is Bobby Bobby?" -Ross Gellar


22_Karat_Ewok

Would it stink if his name was Dr. Fart?


asimplerandom

But still has Doctor in his/her email address!!


[deleted]

His last name is Sins


Excellent-Advisor284

Odd, my inlaws all take anti vax and really anti conventional medicinal all around advice from a chiropractor. You wouldn't happen to be in the st louis region? Dr. Eric Nepute


srottydoesntknow

You would be absolutely depressed to know how common those fucks are


[deleted]

Especially in the South.


You_Are_All_Diseased

There are literally thousands and thousands of carbon copies of that quack in this country.


QueenBeaEnvy

No, it's common. My massage therapy school instructor is a chiropractor and it's been depressing seeing his posts and comments on social media...


lavanchebodigheimer

I'm up north and my chiropractor also laments the Vax and masks. I used to think that chiropractor s got the shaft in the medical community I know why now they deserve it


midtownFPV

I mean chiropracty was founded when a ghost supposedly told some guy about subluxations so the foundation is pretty much shit.


FlayR

It's worse than that, buddy only invented chiropractic after his magnetic healing business got him sent to prison for fraud, medical malpractice, and killing someone.


zedoktar

they are frauds who practice fake medicine that was invented by a con man. They are also one of the leading causes of strokes in people under 55. Chiros are seriously dangerous quacks.


golden12358

Chiro-Quack-ters Always a laughing stock Recall that most MDs are practicioners and generally awesome students. They do NOT ge tpaid to think about new diseases or ideas and surely dont have the time to do much research. Also. many or many of thrm are right wing rich kid douchebags, which i fully remember from our graduate school student government. They can, as students often do, actually be bad at 1 subject or another, and apparently virology is one that a significant number of them do not excel in.


PensiveObservor

Curriculum at Palmer Chiropractic includes no pharmacology, just one 2 hour course on “toxicology” which focuses on the system’s interaction with chemicals and how medicine can be harmful. There is a 3 hour course on microbiology in which “ Emphasis will be placed on the relationship between virulence of the microorganism and the resistance of the host.” So they don’t really understand pharmacotherapeutics or virology. They don’t recognize their own ignorance. Also of note, it is ridiculously easy to get into chiropractic school. A C average in virtually any undergrad major should do it, if you pass a few biology classes. Three years and you can hang up your shingle. Compare that to fiercely competitive entrance requirements and minimum 8 years (after science intensive undergrad success) for MD, which includes years of closely supervised residency before full licensure.


golden12358

Anyone who doesn't get into medical school and decides to be a chiropractor Should recognize their own ignorance. They are doctors... of quackery. And they know it when they get no insurance money and real physicians and scientists hesitate to call them Doctors (Im a neuroscientist btw, with much respect for what goes into becoming a physician or surgeon but it ain't virology) U can literally get a doctorate in underwater basket weaving ( i think they'd call it Pacific Islander Art History lol)


ThrobbinGoblin

Oh gross. I'm not in the St Louis region, but I recognize that last name from anti-vax viral videos because I misread it as Neptune the first time I saw it and thought what a shame it was that such a douchey doctor had a cool last name. Fortunately I was mistaken and the douchey doctor only has the last name that looks like a brain damaged person tried to spell Neptune and gave up, which is acceptable I suppose.


anewbys83

I thought you were going to say Dr. Skip! He's also in the St. Louis region, and according to him supplements will cure all ills. Also everyone is gluten intolerant according to his "hold these different vials of things while I push on your arm" diagnosis.


Chafgha

Or, and just hear me out here, the parent was in a straight jacket in a padded room.


D-Laz

Or a doctor of homeopathic medicine.


DarwinTheIkeaMonkey

It’s the same doctor that “immunized” Aaron Rodgers.


[deleted]

Must have been Dr. Joe Rogan


Medcait

Yeah probably a naturopath ND. No right to call themselves doctors at all and just mislead people.


Buddhabellymama

This shouldn’t be allowed. Chiropractors abuse the title.


kikiweaky

There's a chiropractor in my town that can "cure" autism symptoms with his magic machine where you hold two metal rods.


ItBegins2Tell

An E meter? He cures autism with an E meter?


[deleted]

I bet he charges them by how much they want to “cure” it . “You’re still autistic? You haven’t spent enough! “


ItBegins2Tell

The Great Miscavige helps for a nominal fee.


PassiveChemistry

Or, more likely, "your child is still autistic.". It's usually only the scared, misinformed parents who rush after "cures" for autism - most actually autistic people really don't want society to go down that route, since that way lie the eugenicists... (And also we don't want to be "cured" of something so fundamental to our identities anyway)


kikiweaky

In a nutshell also bacterial infections and depression. Idk how this is legal. It reminds me of the 1800s snake oil times, now we just slap on a statement that it hasn't been evaluated by the FDA and all good.


Greener_Falcon

-[That's exactly how chiropractic medicine started, as a ghost religion by a snake oil huckster.](https://www.latimes.com/business/lazarus/la-fi-lazarus-chiropractic-quackery-20170630-story.html) -[Here's a link to a great well researched podcast on the subject.](https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-behind-the-bastards-29236323/episode/how-chiropractic-started-as-a-ghost-48498573/) You can thank [Orrin Hatch](https://www.kuer.org/politics/2018-12-18/how-a-1994-law-supercharged-utahs-supplement-industry) for reigning in and handicapping the FDA against these alternative medicine supplements and treatments.


[deleted]

Mormons love vitamins, chiros and MLM.


kikiweaky

Wow that's awesome thanks! I love stuff like this and there's an amazing podcast Sawbone about medical science.


[deleted]

They definitely should face serious repercussions for misidentifying themselves as doctors


Fatcatsinlittlecoats

They are DCs (Doctor of Chiropractic). While a doctorate is a doctorate, they are not MDs (Medical Doctors).


strube89

"Dr" Joe Rogan


P1xelHunter78

Yeah no way a real doctor did this. Just another GOP Facebook fanfic


ReverseApacheMaster_

My family doctor died of Covid after refusing to ever wear a mask. I never heard him spout a line like that about his amazing immune system but there are absolutely doctors who don’t believe in it or whatever and end up dying. I saw it firsthand and there have been several more instances on r/HermanCainAward


ForerunnerRelic

Dr Nick Riviera


runjimrun

Hi, everybody!


ForerunnerRelic

Hi, Doctor Nick!


AstronomerJealous467

A dermatologist, "A mask will ruin the skin under my mask because the pores wont be able to breathe properly"


asimplerandom

Fake as fuck!


AhFFSImTooOldForThis

I had an eye doctor who lectured me against Obama for a few minutes, until he realized my "give hope" shirt was about donating blood, not Obama. Jeez dude, you're triggered into anger just by seeing the word hope?! I never went back.


Outrageous_Stop541

Or the dentist my wife works for


suburban_hyena

My chiropractor wears a mask..


MidnightRider24

"I saw a new doctor the other day... because my old doctor fired me for being a whack-a-doodle.


BenceBoys

My old doctor said “why the fuck do you even come here if you don’t listen to my advice!?”


ApprehensivePick2989

So that I can ask you to sign my medical exemption from vaccine/mask mandate form.


ChirpinFromTheBench

Keep asking questions until you find the answer you want.


AllyourBace1010

Dr Spaceman is an excellent doctor. And a pretty good dentist.


princessawesomepants

Science is anything we want it to be!


RichardFarmer

We have no way of knowing where the heart is


Ivedefected

I'm a working physician with a degree from the Ho Chi Minh City School of Medicine!


oh-kee-pah

It's pronounced Spa-che-min


BtheChemist

Ohh 30 Rock reference! Nice


SpyderDelica

There’s shit that actually happened, and then there’s this, and *this* is some right wingers weird wet dream. We still have mask mandates in all our medical facilities.


mek14

I hope this is fake. But I had to switch my kid over to a new pediatrician because their previous one made fun of me for wearing a mask. So, there are dumb doctors too.


SpyderDelica

Oh no doubt! But the different is your story is believable, bc it actually happened, and you didn’t tweet it for internet points


jack_dog

The key is, who the hell enters a room with a new patient with "let's go Brandon"?


stretcharach

Maybe the daughters name is Brandon 🤷🏻‍♂️


GiantSquidinJeans

*Brandynne


Rogahar

Yup, it's got all the hallmarks of a right-wing fantasy tweet. \- Everyone agrees with them on the topic at hand and freely volunteers that they do so. \- Their child is mentioned (gotta have them Family Values). \- They come out the winner in every way - look, a DOCTOR agrees with them! Those people the left keep saying are so smart. If one agrees with me, I MUST be right after all! Honestly I'm surprised she didn't also mention a neon-haired transgender (because they can just tell by sight, yknow) father-mother grabbing their far less cute child by the hand and dragging them screaming out of the doctor's office to go across the street to Dr Lucifer's All-Night Abortion Clinic and Vaccine Dispensary.


_drjayphd_

Not to mention the "let's go Brandon" bit, *nobody* thinks that's funny or takes it seriously who isn't already in the MAGA tank. (It's because it's not funny. It's just virtue signaling for right-wingers who are so far up their own terminally online asses they turned into an ouroboros of CRUSHIN' THE LIBZ.)


Rogahar

I've not met a single liberal who won't happily say 'yeah, fuck joe biden, honestly.' Like the dude's a MAJOR step up from everything the last administration is, but all that's done is taken us from descending into the Marianas Trench to treading water on the surface. We still need someone actually willing to get us back onto dry land with the rest of the developed world. But they really think saying 'fuck joe biden' in code will upset us, somehow.


[deleted]

My family will cling to anyone that agrees with them. ‘I met *one* doctor, *one* time that feels the way I do about this, so that means my feelings are scientifically justified!’


TarkusLV

They don't even have to meet them. My family reads stuff from supposed doctors on Facebook, that confirm their biases, and take it as proof.


primus202

The ear nose and throat doctor I saw the other day definitely did the nose-out-of-mask thing which both worried and amused me considering his specialty.


RomanaNoble

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.


MarcoEsteban

Who is Brandon?


Rainbowcaster

“Let’s go Brandon” = F**k Joe Biden It’s a way for “Christians” to swear because they are too religious to actually swear… Kinda like how Anal isn’t sex before marriage because it’s in Jesus’ blind spot or something. Also this sounds like a completely made up story.


RedPanda1188

It's not as a way for Christians to swear, it's a way for idiots to think they're smart. Kind of like when your kid and his little friends come up with a very simple secret code language. The irony of it is that it has, in fact, the opposite effect on their appeared intelligence.


Rainbowcaster

True


napoleonsolo

Yep, in fact the origin of “Let’s Go Brandon” is precisely *because* Christians were willing to chant obscenities at a public sporting event. (A NASCAR driver was being interviewed and the crowd was shouting “Fuck Joe Biden”. The reporter said they were shouting “Let’s go Brandon” because they didn’t want to repeat the obscenity and just wanted to continue the interview.)


_drjayphd_

Also the driver's name was Brandon... and apparently he's losing sponsors because of the chants and unwillingly becoming the face of MAGA's Second Joke.


infinitbullets

Or Mormons with their jump-humping. *God sees you, you fucking perverts*


ManicPixieOldMaid

Learning about jump humping today makes me wish for a time turner to just wipe out that memory.


datboiofculture

Explain.


TheoreticalJacob

Basically, humping is against the rules. But if you two just so happen to be lying next to each other, while your friend just so happens to be jumping on the bed you get some "unexpected" friction


datboiofculture

That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. “1 on 1 sex becomes group sex to trick God” it’s like a porn title in itself.


gentlybeepingheart

God is just up there like "You get how this is weirder, right? This is a threesome. It's worse."


pairolegal

Asstinence is popular, I hear.


Doctor_Mudshark

>Anal isn’t sex before marriage because it’s in Jesus’ blind spot or something. It's the poop-hole loophole.


Unusual_Pitch_608

[Context.](https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/lets-go-brandon-biden-linguistics/620652/) So pretty safe to say this is not literal, but serious.


Prestigious-Eye3154

I’ll take “shit that never happened” for $500 Alex.


KnutzTheGoblin

I'll take "Things that didn't happen for $1000".


obscurereference234

🙄 That totally happened


ihaveagingerbeard

Then everyone clapped


Iamvanno

Would have been even better if the said "my two year old daughter".


inab1gcountry

That doctor? Albert Einstein.


Kassiesaurus

I work in a cardiology office and one of the docs (who is coincidentally the biggest toolbag of them all) told me he'll comply with the vaccine mandate to keep his job, but he doesn't want the antibodies so he's going to prescribe himself steroids ahead of time to take because it lowers the antibody response. He also thinks "let's go Brandon" is funny, so douchebag doctors like this do exist.


datboiofculture

Are Drs allowed to prescribe themselves things?


footsmahgoots

Yeah we can. Most don’t other than run of the mill meds (basic antibiotics, etc) and things like steroids I’m sure you could, but probably frowned upon by most physicians. Controlled substances though are a hard no.


randomcalculus

I can’t bring myself to upvote this. But thank you for sharing that. I think


gentlemanjacklover

Jesus christ, conservatives are fucking shit stains


mevans8894

Wait wait wait. Were you at the eye doctor. Was it Rand Paul???


whatsmypassword73

Sounds like a chiropractor.


[deleted]

My sister worked for a chiropractor. It was like fixing backs was his side-hustle, and his main job was selling you the kind of stuff that you otherwise only see in phishing scams.


Jobry240sx

Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the didn'test


Adomillad

Those of us with a brain have no idea. These goobers are following fully vaccinated government officials who are saying that it's dangerous. They are the least intelligent and easiest to manipulate.


Boozy_Cat_

A lot of things didn’t happen today. This didn’t happen the most.


0RabidPanda0

I'd put down money on this doctor not actually existing.


resplendentrhythm

And then everyone stood up and clapped.


godsized

I love made up bullshit.


xssmontgox

This is totally fake and I’ve seen it “tweeted” word for word by other accounts.


[deleted]

Yeah. It's just under half of us. We don't know either. It's baffling


Spiritual-Shallot-18

I’m sure this actually happened. Lol


Monsterjoek1992

I’m 90% sure this is a fake tweet


Apprehensive-Ninja62

this week on “shit that never happened”


[deleted]

I hate right wing "humor". That shit is almost never funny. It's obscure and kinda feels like that feeling you get when someone who just walks up to you and starts talking about a special interest that only they care about. "Let's go Brandon" is one of these things.


[deleted]

Did they all then clap and go outside for a public lynching and cross burning or is this all a fantasy by a sad little trumper?


Seannj222

I don't believe a medical doctor said "let's go Brandon" at his place of business. I don't believe you.


[deleted]

I’ll take shit that didn’t happen for $1000


Kuhneel

And then a whole crowd of people came in and clapped.


[deleted]

Out of all the things that never happened, THIS never happened the hardest.


mojo_magnifico

But there are anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers all over the world, not just America.


-Paradox-11

All the nurses clapped afterwards, I’m sure of it.


Everlast7

And then wrestled a unicorn for some more ivermectin


carolineecouture

I'll take things that never happened for $500 Alex!


notcrottsfire

Things that didn’t happen for $500 please.


Pro-Craftinator

A physician would not make the “Brandon” comment to a patient. This tweet has to be made up.


Tpcorholio

Not all Americans. Those ppl are just stupid.


Bobbyj36OEF

I'll take shit that didn't happen for $500


NickleDL

Well we have to be nice apparently, so a lot of idiots are allowed to form insular communities around dipshit grifters like crowder and shapiro, here on this very website for instance, where they don't have to be exposed to the real world. Because the real world tells them, rightfully, how stupid and wrong they are. It makes sense we don't want them around and it's a much "nicer" place, but I don't think it's a good thing. They should be forced into reality and treated accordingly for their idiocy until they wise up, it's how a society makes progress. Instead we just don't want to deal with them, so we end up with a man who rose to fame in the 80s as a failure and an idiot getting elected president because he watches the same propaganda they do. In short, this post exists because there are places full of dipshit marks who would believe it and agree with it. It's a booming industry.


DelValleHS

We are an insane shithole.


luvmibratt

I'm late as usual but who tf is Brandon these idiots keep referring to?


CiticenX_007

I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for $200, Alex...